1 00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:03,200 Speaker 1: Hello, t yp family, Craig Anthony Harper is my name, 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,280 Speaker 1: mar Tiffany and cookers over there just inhaling all the 3 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: fucking carbohydrates in metropolitan Melbourne. She's just she just got 4 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: home from the gym and inhaled a bowl of knoki. 5 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:21,440 Speaker 1: That's right, noki. And now she's sitting there like a 6 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:28,479 Speaker 1: fucking fat little Craig Harper inhaling chocolate. You're such a 7 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:35,040 Speaker 1: bad role model. I'm all about balance, harp All. I 8 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: don't know that the noki with the creamy sauce, what 9 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 1: was the sauce blue sauce? Oh god, so carbs and 10 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 1: fat and then sugar and fat, well, same same. And 11 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 1: then you're going to get up tomorrow and annoyingly, your 12 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 1: abs will be fucking sharper, and your delts will be 13 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 1: a bit bigger. 14 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 2: These delts don't feed on bloody kale. 15 00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 3: Do they. 16 00:00:58,240 --> 00:00:59,520 Speaker 1: No, they definitely don't. 17 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 3: They need a bit about your gold. 18 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,399 Speaker 1: You know what, Kelly and I who with all due respect, 19 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,240 Speaker 1: kel you and I are probably in the same boat. 20 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,759 Speaker 1: It's not that we're not fucking beautiful or brilliant ourselves, 21 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 1: but we don't have the genetics of one t cook 22 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,960 Speaker 1: up at the top left hand corner of my screen. Do. 23 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 1: We certainly don't, so we collectively want to punch you 24 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 1: in your fucking rock hard face. 25 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:24,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I've ganged two ki loes just hearing you. 26 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:28,400 Speaker 1: Yeah before Yeah, my ass just exploded out the back 27 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,919 Speaker 1: listening to that, and before any one writes me an email. 28 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,039 Speaker 1: We don't really want to punch tip in the face. 29 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:38,160 Speaker 1: That's a joke, Kelly, how are you? I'm good. 30 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:38,679 Speaker 3: I'm good. 31 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 4: I'm craving chocolate now and that's not fair because I 32 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:43,679 Speaker 4: don't eat that much chocolate. 33 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 1: What's your If you could have one food that was 34 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 1: what do you call it? You know where it's like 35 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 1: a you know those cards, is like a joke or 36 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 1: what is it? Like a wild card where it can 37 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 1: be anything? But you could have one food that would 38 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: miraculously have no calories and you could have it whenever 39 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: you wanted, and you could eat that food and it 40 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 1: wouldn't hurt your body in any What would that food be? 41 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 1: And it could be like a single thing like chocolate 42 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: or cheese, or it could be something a composite like 43 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,640 Speaker 1: lasagna or chicken stir fry. 44 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,639 Speaker 4: Yeah, lazaang is in there? Any kind of pasta. Just yeah, 45 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 4: all day, every day. If I could, I absolutely would. 46 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:24,839 Speaker 3: Yeah. 47 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: Only I used to go hard. When I was a fat, 48 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 1: little fucker. I used to eat all the pasta. Thanks Mary, 49 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,079 Speaker 1: Thanks for cooking that. Mary. Did you not notice how 50 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 1: fucking big I was getting? Anyway? I blame her. That's 51 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:42,120 Speaker 1: that's what I do. It's Mary Harper's fault. I wasn't. 52 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 1: I had no role. Yes I did. I had all 53 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 1: the rolls with ham and cheese. But I don't worry 54 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: about that every day. And I used to squish him in. 55 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: Remember that you wouldn't even know this, you too, because 56 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: you're too young. But in the old days are sixty 57 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 1: year old. In the old days, back in the seventies, 58 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,400 Speaker 1: we used to have a thing called a jaffalin. Oh yeah, 59 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:08,360 Speaker 1: oh yeah, they're the best. And you would two bits 60 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 1: of bread and you'd fill it with stuff and then 61 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,919 Speaker 1: it'd be round. This thing would be round to make 62 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:17,080 Speaker 1: like a flying saucer shape toasted singer. You cut the 63 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,079 Speaker 1: crust off and throw that shit away. Fuck the crusts, 64 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,000 Speaker 1: and then you know what I used. I shouldn't talk 65 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,000 Speaker 1: about this because I feel like I might go up 66 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 1: to seven to eleven and buy a pie straight after 67 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,639 Speaker 1: the show. But what I used to do was, by 68 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:34,840 Speaker 1: the way, everybody don't do as I do, Okay. I 69 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: used to get so white bread. Of course I did 70 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 1: fill it with Mary's bolonnaise sauce and then grated cheese 71 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: right so you'd butter the bread on the outside. Then 72 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: it'd be full with bolonnaise, sauce and tasty cheese. Was 73 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 1: like the closest thing to cocaine that I ever had. 74 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 2: Did you burn your mouth? Do you burn your skin 75 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 2: off the roof of your mouth? Nocky tonight, But it's 76 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 2: actually want a big chunk off the top of my men? 77 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 1: Well, that's God teaching you a lessons, says me, God spokesperson. 78 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 4: Yeah. 79 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 1: Now, I used to nearly fucking inhale three of my 80 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 1: fingers shoveling that shit in. I was so excited. And 81 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 1: then what I would do is I would make one. 82 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,600 Speaker 1: So this is literally what I did, because I used 83 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,800 Speaker 1: to get home before Ron and Mary because back in 84 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 1: the old days when kids just let themselves in what 85 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,720 Speaker 1: do they call them latchkey kids or something, And I'd 86 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 1: get home at four and just go into a fucking 87 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 1: caloric frenzy for about an hour and then try and 88 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:39,039 Speaker 1: let myself debrief a bit so that I could eat 89 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 1: whatever Mary was making for dinner. So I would try 90 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 1: to get rid of all of the evidence of the 91 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:52,160 Speaker 1: aforementioned jaffel, but Mum would come in. The whole joint 92 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:56,279 Speaker 1: would smell like toasted sandwiches and old sauce. You like, 93 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: did you make yourself for daffl? I might a little bit, 94 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:06,040 Speaker 1: a little one. What do you mean a little one? 95 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:09,160 Speaker 1: I'm like, well, she goes, well, there are only one size. 96 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 1: You can't make a little one. So nonetheless I kept 97 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 1: doing it. Anyway, enough about my childhood eating addiction. So 98 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 1: what would you go call? What would your one food be? 99 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:27,039 Speaker 3: Pasta of any sort? And just throw it at me? 100 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,800 Speaker 1: Really if you had to pick one though, Like do 101 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 1: you like creamy sauces or meat sauces, garlic. 102 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,160 Speaker 3: Meat meat saucer, lasagna, bolonnaise? 103 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 2: Yep, all right, yep, yep, tiff those cookies, pistachio cookie. 104 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 4: Yeah that's true, but have you tried have you tried 105 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 4: pistachio pasta? 106 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:57,160 Speaker 1: It sounds terrible? Oh yep, yeah maybe maybe maybe. Yeah, 107 00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 1: you know I have this because I eat lots of 108 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:08,839 Speaker 1: roasted almonds. So my sweets quite often is vanilla yogurt 109 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:12,719 Speaker 1: at night with roasted almonds, and it's kind of sweet 110 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 1: and crunchy, and it's definitely not cheesecake or yoki or 111 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 1: those fucking cookies or chocolate. But over here at fucking 112 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 1: Sad Sack Central, you know, my dopamine goes off like 113 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:32,800 Speaker 1: a frog and a sock. I just pretend, I pretend 114 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 1: I'm having an indulgence. I'm like, oh, look at me, 115 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 1: fucking nuts and yogurt, you crazy bastard, Look at me. 116 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: Go It's no fucking jaffle with cheese and whole sauce, 117 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:51,440 Speaker 1: is it. It's how sad I've become. Oh yeah, but 118 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 1: at least you'll live a long time. But you'll wear 119 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 1: a miserable cunt. But you'll live to two hundred though, fuck. 120 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 3: The misery might get you sooner. 121 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:06,360 Speaker 1: That's hilarious. So officially, welcome to the show, Kelly. It's 122 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,880 Speaker 1: good to see you. For those of you who have 123 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:14,360 Speaker 1: met Kelly before, She's was just a listener and I 124 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 1: don't say were just was. She was a listener who 125 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 1: bumped into me at the gym. We bumped into each 126 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 1: other we got to know each other, and she said 127 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:26,440 Speaker 1: one day something like could I ask you some questions 128 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 1: on the show? And I went fucking pushy. But turns 129 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:37,679 Speaker 1: out quite good, quite good. So she's back, she's back. 130 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 1: Have you been doing been doing anythinking? 131 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 3: Thinking? 132 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,680 Speaker 4: Well, you put up a post this morning of your book, 133 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:48,680 Speaker 4: this one which actually have the twenty Questions for humans, 134 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,440 Speaker 4: And this is from when I was just a listener 135 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 4: and I came along. 136 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 3: To do a bit of a preread. So I've got 137 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 3: the autograph in there and everything. It's that was. 138 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 1: A fun day because I don't know, do you know 139 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 1: this story TIF where I wrote the book and I 140 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:10,520 Speaker 1: wanted people to read it, proof read it, edit it, 141 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 1: scribble all over it. And I thought I can't get 142 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 1: any more brutal feedback than twenty strangers. So I got 143 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 1: twenty people to come to my then office. Was that 144 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 1: up in Marabin or was that yeah? Yeah? Yeah? And 145 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: I had twenty people that were followers or friends or whatever. 146 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: I don't think even anyone that I really personally knew, 147 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:37,440 Speaker 1: if maybe one or two, and they all read the book. 148 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,040 Speaker 1: Because a short book, you can read it, if you're 149 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 1: a fast reader, you can read it in an hour. 150 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 1: If you're slow, it's probably an hour and a half. 151 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,720 Speaker 1: But then if you're really trying to consume it and 152 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: dissect it and correct it and give me feedback, it 153 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 1: probably took a couple of hours. 154 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,199 Speaker 3: Col Yeah, I think it was about two hours. 155 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:57,720 Speaker 1: And I gave everybody a red pen and a draft copy, 156 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:00,120 Speaker 1: and their job was to write all over it, well 157 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:04,640 Speaker 1: right wherever they felt necessary in red pen. And it 158 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:07,440 Speaker 1: was good. It was like I had twenty editors at 159 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:12,360 Speaker 1: once and everyone got a free book when it came 160 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,319 Speaker 1: out and assigned a copy, and yeah, so it was 161 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:15,839 Speaker 1: win win. 162 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,360 Speaker 3: That was my copy. It was It was really fun. 163 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,319 Speaker 4: And that was when I was literally just a listener, 164 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:25,319 Speaker 4: didn't know you at all, and it was a great experience. 165 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,080 Speaker 3: But it did. 166 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 4: So I've got a few questions today because you just said, 167 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,960 Speaker 4: ask whatever you want and I was like, great, let's go. 168 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 4: But I did think, given that there's twenty on here 169 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 4: and we're coming up to the tail end of the year, 170 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 4: I'm curious as to what you if people would pick 171 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:49,719 Speaker 4: just one question from the book, what would you what. 172 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 1: Would you suggest if they would. I don't know, I 173 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,720 Speaker 1: don't have them in front of me, but off the 174 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 1: top of my house. Should know them all off by heart. 175 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:05,120 Speaker 1: But I'm going to say I think, like, like, why 176 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 1: do I say yes when I should say no? I 177 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,920 Speaker 1: think a lot of people do that, kind of people 178 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 1: pleasing stuff. I mean, these are the ones that resonate 179 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,560 Speaker 1: for me. Obviously, the one at the end, I think 180 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 1: it's the last one is what's the meaning of life? 181 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,800 Speaker 1: Which is really it's really meant to be, like, what's 182 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 1: the meaning of my life? And it's more about it's 183 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:27,959 Speaker 1: not that there's obviously a categoric answer to that, but 184 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: rather that that's a good thing to think about, like 185 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 1: what does my life mean? What does it represent? What 186 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 1: is you know, it's kind of insects with that, what 187 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,440 Speaker 1: is my purpose? And all that? Let me have a 188 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,080 Speaker 1: look what's my life? 189 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 4: I do? 190 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: You know this sounds weird because I wrote it, but 191 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 1: like I like all of them, Like what's my life 192 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,280 Speaker 1: telling me? I love that question because like, we're always 193 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 1: producing results, we're always producing data, So I think it's 194 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:58,200 Speaker 1: that's a good question. Number two, what are my core values? 195 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 1: How do I live in alignment? What do I self say? Yeah? 196 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 1: Probably number one, what's my life telling me? I think 197 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 1: maybe like question fourteen is not a particularly clever or 198 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,840 Speaker 1: mind blowing question, but I think it's a really important question. 199 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 1: And the question is am I ready to do the work? 200 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:22,319 Speaker 1: And I just think that all the other questions are 201 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: redundant if the answer to fourteen is not yes, And 202 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:31,559 Speaker 1: I mean actually really no bullshit, yes, not just I'm 203 00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 1: going to say yes because someone's listening. And I feel 204 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:39,320 Speaker 1: like for many people, the answer to am I genuinely 205 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 1: ready to roll up my sleeves, do the work? Embrace 206 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,839 Speaker 1: the suck, get uncomfortable, keep doing it, not give up, 207 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:52,079 Speaker 1: show up every fucking day, deal with the discomfort, Embrace 208 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:57,560 Speaker 1: the delaying of gratification, all that shit. I think the 209 00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:02,000 Speaker 1: answer truly is for most people because they love the 210 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 1: idea of change and growth. But we know that you 211 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: know the process, the journey is for a while at least, 212 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 1: all the UN's as we've spoken about, uncomfortable, et cetera. 213 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:20,640 Speaker 1: So yeah, but we by the way, everybody, if you're thinking, 214 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,600 Speaker 1: this is not a promo for this book, because I 215 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 1: don't even know if we have any copies, so it's 216 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 1: definitely not a thinly or badly disguised promo for the book. 217 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 1: But what about you kel, what's If you go into 218 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,080 Speaker 1: my Instagram, you'll see the book. If you want to 219 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:42,480 Speaker 1: pick one question that you think like sticks out for you, kel, 220 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 1: what would your one or two be? 221 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:49,080 Speaker 4: So very recently, I think for me it's question fifteen, 222 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:52,320 Speaker 4: and that is what is my body telling me? That's 223 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,560 Speaker 4: because I've had a bit of a health thing going 224 00:12:55,600 --> 00:13:00,240 Speaker 4: on where I was getting these insane migraines and it 225 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,360 Speaker 4: was a bit it freaked them out a little bit, 226 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 4: and it goes back to the uns and then the overs. 227 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 3: So I was uncertain as to what was going on. 228 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,600 Speaker 4: Yes, I had to go for an MRI, which is 229 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:15,840 Speaker 4: extremely fun. Anyone's had one of those because there's a 230 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,960 Speaker 4: bit of dodgy brain history in the family. And so 231 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,000 Speaker 4: of course the overthinking kicked in. I'm like, oh, far out, 232 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,840 Speaker 4: this is it. It's going to be the worst case scenario. 233 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:27,000 Speaker 1: It's not. 234 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,840 Speaker 4: Turns out I've got a bit of a vertebrae that's 235 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:34,400 Speaker 4: out and my chiropractor is fixing it. So best case scenario. 236 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 4: But it was you know, what's my body telling me? 237 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,880 Speaker 4: And there was a lot of stress built up, and 238 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,959 Speaker 4: there was a lot of not actually looking after basic 239 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,160 Speaker 4: things like my posture. 240 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 3: So that was a big question. Yeah, yeah, so that 241 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:52,839 Speaker 3: was a big question. And then what do I need 242 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 3: to stop doing? 243 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:59,120 Speaker 4: And that, to me really aligns with are you ready 244 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:02,560 Speaker 4: to do the work? Because stopping doing a lot of 245 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 4: things can be harder than starting to do a lot 246 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:11,920 Speaker 4: of new things. So, yeah, you know when you've been 247 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 4: so used to having a certain behavior for so long 248 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 4: and then you go, it's not it's not helping me, 249 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,640 Speaker 4: it's not helping me grow and learn, and you guys 250 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 4: need to stop it. But you might be surrounded by 251 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 4: people who are enabling that behavior. 252 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:32,680 Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, so those two Yeah cool? Uh, Tiffany Reckon, 253 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 1: There's two. 254 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,400 Speaker 3: That stick out for me. 255 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,400 Speaker 2: One we talked about this yesterday when we recorded what 256 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:40,080 Speaker 2: am I core values and how do I live in alignment? 257 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:41,239 Speaker 1: Mmmmm. 258 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 2: And the other one is the am I efficient or 259 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 2: just busy, because I've spent a lot of time being 260 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,840 Speaker 2: just busy, and I think you can you can just 261 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 2: repeat the habit of that and recreate it in a 262 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,840 Speaker 2: new version of busy, telling yourself, Oh, I'm going to 263 00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:59,040 Speaker 2: do things better this time. 264 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so true. Yeah. I felt in the last 265 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,240 Speaker 1: six years with my study that there were times when 266 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 1: I was busy and I was chaos, but I wasn't 267 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 1: really getting a lot done. But I think that comes 268 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 1: with being involved in something where you don't have a 269 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,360 Speaker 1: high level of skill. You know. It's like, you think 270 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,640 Speaker 1: now about how well you can produce and edit a 271 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:27,400 Speaker 1: podcast and produce reels and create stuff for Instagram or 272 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:31,040 Speaker 1: whatever social media platform, and you can do awesome stuff 273 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,200 Speaker 1: in a few minutes that used to take you an 274 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,480 Speaker 1: hour that wasn't as good as you can produce now. 275 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 1: And yes, the tech has evolved and all of that, 276 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:41,280 Speaker 1: but yeah, you just become you just become better. But 277 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 1: I do think I do think a lot of people 278 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 1: almost pride themselves on the busy badge too. It's like it's, well, 279 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 1: you know, it's like, how are you busy? Right? Okay, 280 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 1: that doesn't really tell them, just kind of tells me 281 00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 1: what you're doing. But yeah, I think I think all 282 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 1: of them are solid questions that and if you don't 283 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,560 Speaker 1: need to buy a book, everyone, you can just go 284 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,760 Speaker 1: onto my website and you'll see the back of the book. 285 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:11,680 Speaker 1: I've literally got all the questions, which is probably a 286 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:15,800 Speaker 1: stupid thing to do because essentially the key points of 287 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 1: the book are on the back cover, so fuck it, 288 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 1: just take a screenshot of the back cover and then 289 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,200 Speaker 1: figure out the rest, you know. But I certainly think 290 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:28,200 Speaker 1: they're not a bad kind of starting point for more 291 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:35,720 Speaker 1: for conversations and self explorations than absolute definitive answers or 292 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:42,160 Speaker 1: a map for anybody individually, because you know, what's awesome 293 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,360 Speaker 1: for me won't be awesome for the next person, and 294 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 1: vice versa. So that's even in the middle of all 295 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 1: this data and feedback and thinking and asking of questions 296 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 1: and exploring of concepts, we've still got to relate that 297 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,120 Speaker 1: because it's not like, oh, there's one best way to 298 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 1: be effective, or there's one best way to interpret the 299 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 1: data from our body, and there's one best way to 300 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,600 Speaker 1: create our optimal life, and there's you know, there's a 301 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:10,199 Speaker 1: million ways. And it's like we've spoken before about, you know, 302 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,440 Speaker 1: for me, a great job is one where I don't 303 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:16,080 Speaker 1: have a boss, one where there's no absolute definitive protocol 304 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:20,160 Speaker 1: or routine, one where there's lots of flexibility and even 305 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:24,960 Speaker 1: lots of uncertainty. I ironically love the uncertainty. I like 306 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,320 Speaker 1: not knowing what's going to happen next year. If I 307 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 1: knew exactly kind of step by step what was going 308 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:35,800 Speaker 1: to happen next year, I'd lose excitement and focus. So 309 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 1: for me going into a new year with a whole 310 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:42,880 Speaker 1: lot of uncertainty and unknown, thinking, well, I could make 311 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,480 Speaker 1: a bit of dough or a lot of dough, I 312 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,680 Speaker 1: could do great shit, or I could crash and burn, 313 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 1: or I might run some really successful events, or I 314 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,439 Speaker 1: might not, or I might write another book, or I 315 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,879 Speaker 1: might not, or I love I love that. But that 316 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,200 Speaker 1: just works for me and maybe a little bit for you, Tiff, 317 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 1: But I don't know that it would for a lot 318 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 1: of people. 319 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:03,840 Speaker 2: When did you write that book? 320 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 1: Maybe twenty twenty, I don't know. What does it say? 321 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:14,760 Speaker 1: Kel twenty nineteen, twenty nineteen? 322 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:15,360 Speaker 3: What would you. 323 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:15,680 Speaker 2: Add to. 324 00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 1: Say? Again? 325 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:21,000 Speaker 2: What would you add to that? Would you add any questions? 326 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,720 Speaker 1: Not to come to me? Off the top of my head? 327 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 1: You know, I'd probably make it more sweary. No, No, 328 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,679 Speaker 1: I'm actually writing another book now, and I love the 329 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:39,320 Speaker 1: idea of the new book. I can't Melissa's totally reprimanded 330 00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 1: me from talking about the concept or because it's very 331 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 1: different and I've written quite a bit of it, and yeah, 332 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 1: and so yeah, I hope that I will push that 333 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 1: out of the literary nest kind of mid next year 334 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:03,040 Speaker 1: and wrap some marketing and PR and all of that 335 00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:05,320 Speaker 1: stuff around it and get a few bums on seats 336 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 1: and do workshops and sell a few copies. But we'll 337 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:11,400 Speaker 1: see what happens. But everything starts with an idea. All right, Kel, 338 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:12,040 Speaker 1: I'm ready. 339 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 4: So I'm interested in what you just said though, about 340 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:20,280 Speaker 4: being excited about uncertainty, because that's something that I absolutely 341 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:23,640 Speaker 4: do not resonate with, Like uncertainty scares the shit out 342 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,679 Speaker 4: of me, and that's when my over is kicking. So 343 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 4: can you explain what it's like to feel that excitement 344 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,560 Speaker 4: about the uncertainty and why that's a good thing for you? 345 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I think the unknown and the 346 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,640 Speaker 1: uncertain and the unfamiliar has been a place that I've 347 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,280 Speaker 1: existed a lot of my life. Setting up my first business, 348 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:46,880 Speaker 1: setting up the first personal training center in Australia, starting 349 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 1: my podcast, failing, starting another one, failing, starting another one, failing, 350 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:55,960 Speaker 1: starting the U Project, which was the fourth endeavor, doing 351 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:59,640 Speaker 1: hundreds of speaking gigs that were somewhere between complete shit 352 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:04,800 Speaker 1: and average. But out of all of those trials and 353 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:10,399 Speaker 1: tribulations came a lot of really good stuff, like I 354 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:15,359 Speaker 1: don't seem to thrive when I'm comfortable. I seem to 355 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:19,040 Speaker 1: thrive when I'm uncomfortable. I seem to thrive and grow 356 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 1: and learn and become a better version of me in 357 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,440 Speaker 1: the middle of the shit, you know, which I don't 358 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,439 Speaker 1: know if that's a good or a bad thing. And 359 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:31,000 Speaker 1: of course there are moments where right then, in that moment, 360 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:34,440 Speaker 1: I'm not enjoying it at all. But you know, it's 361 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,359 Speaker 1: like when I started a PhD, I knew that. I 362 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 1: knew it wouldn't be a fun process. I knew that, 363 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,920 Speaker 1: and it hasn't been like day to day doing the stuff, 364 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:49,200 Speaker 1: it isn't enjoyable. And that's not being disparaging or being negative. 365 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:54,800 Speaker 1: It's just that every PhD student and researcher and graduate, 366 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,080 Speaker 1: depending on what they did, but you know, most of 367 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 1: them will say, while I'm really glad I did it, 368 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,680 Speaker 1: I learned and it's amazing and it's great journey, it's 369 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 1: also a fucking horrible journey most of the time because 370 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:09,040 Speaker 1: you're under immense pressure and you're learning as you're going, 371 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,320 Speaker 1: and it's a very very steep learning curve and not 372 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 1: only learning about the subject matter that you're researching and 373 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:19,000 Speaker 1: interpreting the data and writing papers and figuring out what 374 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:23,120 Speaker 1: the data that you've got through your studies and research 375 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:27,360 Speaker 1: and participants equals. But you're also, in my case, you're 376 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,960 Speaker 1: learning how to speak that language, how to write that language, 377 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,240 Speaker 1: how to do like how do I do a PhD? 378 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:38,199 Speaker 1: Irrespective of what am I studying? But how do I 379 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:41,600 Speaker 1: do one? How do I? Like? What does ethical approval mean? 380 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,119 Speaker 1: How do I get that? What do I? Who do I? 381 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 1: You know, Like I started at fifty six, I'm like, oh, 382 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:51,720 Speaker 1: who do I email about that? Or you know? What is? 383 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 1: You know? How do I? How do I reference things? 384 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,520 Speaker 1: How do I do all these in text citations? How 385 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,560 Speaker 1: do I? You know? Because that that can be automated, 386 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,320 Speaker 1: But I'm like, well, I can't even automate making toasts, 387 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,920 Speaker 1: so as if I'm going to fucking figure that out, 388 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,720 Speaker 1: you know. But it's six years down the track and 389 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:14,040 Speaker 1: I'm nearly done, and it's been good. But I love 390 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:17,120 Speaker 1: that that. I would like to go do something next year. 391 00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:20,080 Speaker 1: Also not I want to do all the other stuff, 392 00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,080 Speaker 1: but I definitely will go do something again. 393 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 4: That's hard, That's cool, I'd had a conversation with Tiff 394 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:31,159 Speaker 4: about this and I've said, you know, I, for me, 395 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,560 Speaker 4: going back to UNI is one of the most terrifying 396 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:37,800 Speaker 4: things because I've done it twice, and yeah, it was 397 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:42,320 Speaker 4: it was hard, it was scary, it was so unfamiliar 398 00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:46,199 Speaker 4: and unknown. Really happy that I did it, but for 399 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 4: a certain amount of time I would actually have nightmares 400 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:50,720 Speaker 4: about being in like. 401 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 3: Lecturcals in tutorials and. 402 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,200 Speaker 4: The I think TIF you helped me reframe it by saying, 403 00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:00,159 Speaker 4: you know, was it the actual the learning or is 404 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,640 Speaker 4: it the kind of the environment or the situation or 405 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:07,080 Speaker 4: what I was like at the time, And I kind 406 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:09,600 Speaker 4: of landed on, well, it's what I was like at 407 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,080 Speaker 4: the time, So potentially maybe I would go back and 408 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 4: do something not right now, but maybe. 409 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,760 Speaker 1: And also keeping in mind that is the situation or 410 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:23,439 Speaker 1: the challenge or the objective practical reality of the task 411 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,600 Speaker 1: scaring me? Or am I scaring myself? Is it my 412 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 1: story about all of that, right? Because if that process 413 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:36,080 Speaker 1: was objectively scary, then everyone who did it would be scared. 414 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,439 Speaker 3: Absolutely ended, It's totally my story. 415 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,199 Speaker 1: So exactly, you need to go, well, what is the 416 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:46,800 Speaker 1: story that you're telling yourself? You know, it's like, well, 417 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,960 Speaker 1: it's not I don't mean to sound cliche, but it's 418 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 1: not cancy you're dealing with. It's not a spinal cord injury. 419 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,480 Speaker 1: You don't live in poverty, you don't live in a 420 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:59,159 Speaker 1: war zone. Yeah, on the scale of what could happen 421 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 1: to a human, do you know what I mean? And 422 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,760 Speaker 1: that's how I do it. I reframe and I go, like, 423 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,680 Speaker 1: some of the things that I do, people go, oh, 424 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:10,240 Speaker 1: you're a fucking trojan. That's so hard. I don't know. 425 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,119 Speaker 1: And then I go, I think about what other people 426 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,360 Speaker 1: that I know go through, and my hardshit's not even 427 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:19,439 Speaker 1: a two out of ten on their scale. You know. 428 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:24,040 Speaker 1: It's like, well, because hard or easy, it's not an 429 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 1: objective constant. It's a subjective variable, you know what I mean. Now, 430 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,800 Speaker 1: you could get up one day and do something and 431 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:37,399 Speaker 1: you feel fucking amazing, and you've had a great night's sleep, 432 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,400 Speaker 1: and you feel confident and someone said something nice, you've 433 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:43,200 Speaker 1: got a bit of dopamine going. You're in the zone, 434 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,199 Speaker 1: and you do something that's pretty tricky, but it's like 435 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,280 Speaker 1: a two out of ten hard and you just bang it. 436 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,000 Speaker 1: You just do it, And then a few days later, 437 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,240 Speaker 1: you do the same thing. You feel like dogshit, and 438 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:57,119 Speaker 1: it's an eight out of ten hard right. But the 439 00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,200 Speaker 1: variable is not the thing. It's you, And so that 440 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,840 Speaker 1: the thing is not how do I change that that 441 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:10,960 Speaker 1: practical process or situational context or environment or or academic journey, 442 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 1: or but rather how do I manage me around that? 443 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:17,520 Speaker 1: Because it's really never about the thing. It's always about 444 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:21,480 Speaker 1: our story about the thing. Because if it was always 445 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 1: about the thing, the stimulus, the challenge, the objective process, 446 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,639 Speaker 1: everyone would have the same reaction, and they don't. 447 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,200 Speaker 4: You know, I've never actually thought about it that way, 448 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:36,880 Speaker 4: and yet it makes the most sense because yeah, I'm 449 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,439 Speaker 4: totally aware that it's it's what I tell myself, but 450 00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:43,479 Speaker 4: I've never put it into that context. And even so, 451 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 4: I was driving home after leaving the wonderful MRI experience, 452 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,080 Speaker 4: and I thought far out, what if what if something 453 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:54,000 Speaker 4: is actually wrong? Thank God there wasn't, but what if 454 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,880 Speaker 4: How would I how would I approach the next day 455 00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,760 Speaker 4: if something was actually wrong? And I thought, well, there's 456 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,120 Speaker 4: all of these things that I would do, and there's 457 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,879 Speaker 4: all of this, you know, I guess how I would 458 00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,840 Speaker 4: hold myself and carry myself in my day to day, 459 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:12,000 Speaker 4: and I thought, well, why on earth am I waiting 460 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 4: for some kind of bad news in order to think 461 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:18,240 Speaker 4: that I would do that? And it was this like 462 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:22,600 Speaker 4: literally driving down North Road in the sunshine, going yeah, 463 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:26,719 Speaker 4: this is this is a complete reframe moment where I 464 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:30,520 Speaker 4: can just do this anyway. So rather than telling myself 465 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,720 Speaker 4: that continual story of oh, well, I've got to wait 466 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,160 Speaker 4: until the right time, or I've got to wait until 467 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:39,840 Speaker 4: the wind blows in the right direction before I change anything, no, 468 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:41,360 Speaker 4: I can just do it. 469 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,400 Speaker 3: And it was this moment of. 470 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,480 Speaker 4: I guess clarity that you don't have to wait for 471 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:51,320 Speaker 4: a bad thing, be absolutely one hundred percent grateful that 472 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 4: there is no bad thing, and just get on with it. 473 00:26:56,280 --> 00:27:01,480 Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's funny how, you know, when we 474 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,360 Speaker 1: get scared or when we think something bad is happening 475 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:09,919 Speaker 1: or could happen, we have a shift in perspective right now, 476 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,600 Speaker 1: you know. And I had it a couple of months ago. 477 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,879 Speaker 1: I thought I had like prostate cancer, I thought I 478 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,240 Speaker 1: had diabetes. I thought I had all these things because 479 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:21,000 Speaker 1: I had constant thirst. I was weeing seventeen hundred and 480 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:24,280 Speaker 1: forty two times a day. You know, all this old 481 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:28,399 Speaker 1: manshit was happening and what so I'd nailed it that, 482 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:31,880 Speaker 1: like I had, Like I went to the doctor. He goes, 483 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:33,840 Speaker 1: what are you reckons going on? And I said this, 484 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,480 Speaker 1: I reckon, I've got diabetes and or prostate issues or 485 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 1: da da da da, And he went, why do you 486 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:42,560 Speaker 1: think that? And I presented my case like a perfect 487 00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 1: kind of health lawyer, and he went, well, it's maybe, 488 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,240 Speaker 1: but let's do some let's do some wei tests and 489 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,560 Speaker 1: some blood tests. And I was completely fucking wrong, like 490 00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:00,680 Speaker 1: one hundred percent wrong. I had an infection in my head, right, 491 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,520 Speaker 1: and that was causing all the symptoms that you know, 492 00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:09,760 Speaker 1: the wing and the cognitive decline. There was like my 493 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:11,880 Speaker 1: brain wasn't working as well because I had an infection 494 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,000 Speaker 1: in my head and like a whole lot of you know, 495 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:19,080 Speaker 1: and a whole lot of stuff, right. But it's like, 496 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,960 Speaker 1: and when I got that news, I was so happy, 497 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,399 Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, look at me. I'm not dying. 498 00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,879 Speaker 1: I'm not dying anytime soon, well hopefully, you know, and 499 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:33,600 Speaker 1: I don't have a disease and I don't. And it's 500 00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:39,880 Speaker 1: it's funny that in the context of something else, right, 501 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,720 Speaker 1: you know, where oh you could have Kelly. You could 502 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:45,600 Speaker 1: have gone and got some really bad news, but you 503 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,240 Speaker 1: pretty much got the best news, which is, yeah, you've 504 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,400 Speaker 1: got an issue, but it's compared to what it could 505 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:53,680 Speaker 1: have been. It's a fucking zero, right, And then we're happy, 506 00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:55,840 Speaker 1: Then we're glad, then we're grateful, then with this, then 507 00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:58,960 Speaker 1: with that. But imagine if we found a way to 508 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:04,040 Speaker 1: manipulate our personerspective every day every day, so every day 509 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:12,360 Speaker 1: you went, hey, I can walk. Fuck, I can get 510 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 1: out of a chair and I can walk, and if 511 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:19,720 Speaker 1: I have to, I can run. And also I can 512 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,160 Speaker 1: push a button and there's air conditioning, and I can 513 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,160 Speaker 1: push another button and there's heat. And also look over here, 514 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,360 Speaker 1: I've got a fridge with food. And also I can 515 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 1: turn on this tap and hot water comes out. Also 516 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,520 Speaker 1: I've got a bed. Also I live in a safe space. 517 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:38,000 Speaker 1: Or you know, it's like, oh my god, there are 518 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,959 Speaker 1: so many things that are fucking amazing. Forget money, forget brand, 519 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:45,480 Speaker 1: forget you know, sexy cars or whatever. But there's just 520 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:49,080 Speaker 1: shit that you and I have at our disposal and 521 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:53,840 Speaker 1: tiff every day. Which I know many people, I know 522 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,800 Speaker 1: more than ten people who would love to be able 523 00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 1: to do what we totally take for granted most of 524 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 1: the time. And so what's the antidote to that good question? 525 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:11,080 Speaker 1: The antidote to that which sounds cheesy, but it is 526 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:15,800 Speaker 1: a daily practice, daily practice, not daily for three days, 527 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,160 Speaker 1: daily for the rest of your life, practice of gratitude. 528 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,800 Speaker 1: Every day, I'm grateful I can walk every day. I'm 529 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:25,520 Speaker 1: grateful I live where I live. Every day. I'm grateful 530 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,000 Speaker 1: my mum and dad are alive. Every day. I'm grateful 531 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,600 Speaker 1: I can turn on a tap and get clean, fresh, 532 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:34,480 Speaker 1: cold water, because about two billion people in the world 533 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 1: can't do that. I don't live on three dollars a 534 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,400 Speaker 1: day or less. I don't, you know. So there's just 535 00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:46,280 Speaker 1: so much shit where when you look at your life 536 00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:51,160 Speaker 1: and your experience and your situation through a lens of gratitude, 537 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 1: but really not rah rah feel good, fucking let's walk 538 00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:58,840 Speaker 1: on hot coals and you know, chant bullshit, but really 539 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:02,760 Speaker 1: you look at life through lens of I am the 540 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,200 Speaker 1: luckiest motherfucker I am. Call it luck, call it a blessing, 541 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:09,000 Speaker 1: call it whatever you want to call it, Call it 542 00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:13,680 Speaker 1: a gift. You know, like I truly think that, you know, 543 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:18,600 Speaker 1: And every day I see Johnny every day or every 544 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:21,360 Speaker 1: time I see my friend Joel, who tiff knows, who 545 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,840 Speaker 1: lives in a wheelchair, every time I see lots of 546 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,800 Speaker 1: people that I know that are either battling cancer or 547 00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:30,800 Speaker 1: the dealing with a significant disability, I just realize that 548 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:36,160 Speaker 1: I'm through nothing that I've done, Like I didn't deserve this. 549 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:40,440 Speaker 1: I'm just lucky I didn't earn I didn't earn it, 550 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,640 Speaker 1: and they didn't earn the wheelchair or the brain injury 551 00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,920 Speaker 1: or the spinal cord injury or the cancer diagnosis. Like 552 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:52,080 Speaker 1: shit just happens. And so you know, there are times 553 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:55,840 Speaker 1: when I annoy myself for being a fucking winger when 554 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,680 Speaker 1: in the context of real problems, I have none. 555 00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:00,600 Speaker 3: Do you know? 556 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:03,800 Speaker 4: There was a podcast earlier this year, one of yours, 557 00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:08,080 Speaker 4: and it was about this, and I was having a. 558 00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:08,960 Speaker 3: Pretty rough time then. 559 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,800 Speaker 4: So I made a wallpaper for my phone that actually 560 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,840 Speaker 4: says Gratitude is the antidote. And I had it there 561 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:20,080 Speaker 4: for months as this daily reminder that absolutely that is 562 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 4: that is what helps, That is what can fix the 563 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:25,760 Speaker 4: mindset and the perspective every day. 564 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:27,200 Speaker 3: And I still have it saved to when I need 565 00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:31,880 Speaker 3: to go back to it. And it really it was 566 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,000 Speaker 3: just a daily reminder that helped me. 567 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:39,160 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, when you think about like, I don't want 568 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,960 Speaker 1: to be melodramatic, but right now my dad's not awesome, 569 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:43,840 Speaker 1: right He's got some health issues. 570 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:44,920 Speaker 2: And. 571 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:53,200 Speaker 1: It's like nothing. If somebody said, hey, Craig, I want 572 00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:56,360 Speaker 1: all your stuff, like all the stuff you own, everything, 573 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,640 Speaker 1: all the stuff you own, but I'm going to give 574 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,040 Speaker 1: your dad one awesome healthy year, I'd be like, where 575 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 1: do I sign? Like in a second, I'd live in 576 00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,920 Speaker 1: a fucking tent. I do not care. I go give 577 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:10,800 Speaker 1: me that bit of paper. 578 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:11,840 Speaker 2: You know. 579 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:15,680 Speaker 1: It's like in the context of what really matters, What 580 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,360 Speaker 1: really matters to me are people that I love. What 581 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:22,320 Speaker 1: really matters is my dad, is my mum. You know. 582 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:26,080 Speaker 1: It's like yeah, and you go, oh oh so. And 583 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,920 Speaker 1: that's not to say that having things is bad, but 584 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:36,040 Speaker 1: I think when certain things arise in our life, like tragedy, 585 00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:41,959 Speaker 1: like illness, like you know, certain relationships ending, or certain 586 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,600 Speaker 1: people passing away, or like the last month or two 587 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,640 Speaker 1: in my life, there's just been a ridiculous amount of 588 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:53,760 Speaker 1: people dying, you know, like like two of my friends 589 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:57,640 Speaker 1: have had very close people to them, very close in 590 00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:03,120 Speaker 1: the last four weeks die and my next door neighbor 591 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:05,320 Speaker 1: right here. I want to say her name, but lovely 592 00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:09,920 Speaker 1: lady and her daughter died unexpectedly, and you know, and 593 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:13,080 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god. It's like and then in 594 00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:16,919 Speaker 1: that moment when I talk to them, I just want 595 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,800 Speaker 1: to I just want to make it better. I can't, 596 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,600 Speaker 1: but I just I don't want anything to distract me 597 00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:27,080 Speaker 1: from that moment with them, And I just you know, 598 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:28,640 Speaker 1: when you're like, what can I do? What can I do? 599 00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,560 Speaker 1: I can't really do anything. I can just be here 600 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:33,560 Speaker 1: and love you and give you attention and give you 601 00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:40,000 Speaker 1: energy and yeah, so again. But I think the challenge 602 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:43,880 Speaker 1: is when you know things are going pretty good, to 603 00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:45,840 Speaker 1: be honest, but in the middle of pretty good, we 604 00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:49,520 Speaker 1: still find stuff to bitch about and waste emotional and 605 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,400 Speaker 1: mental energy on and tell ourselves stories of how fucking 606 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:56,400 Speaker 1: hard it is. I'm like, you know, I don't want 607 00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:58,160 Speaker 1: to throw anyone under the bus, so I'll throw me 608 00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:00,279 Speaker 1: under the bus. But I'll tell you what. And I've 609 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,440 Speaker 1: felt sorry for myself about fuck all, and it's like, 610 00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:07,040 Speaker 1: you know, it's just me inventing a problem. 611 00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:11,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I've been there quite a number of times. 612 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:15,839 Speaker 4: So probably my last question. 613 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,280 Speaker 3: Which would go pretty well with what you just said. 614 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:24,520 Speaker 3: What's the biggest or most important thing that you've learned 615 00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:24,919 Speaker 3: this year? 616 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:30,000 Speaker 1: Wow, the biggest or most important thing that I have 617 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:35,400 Speaker 1: learned this year? I think, I don't know. I feel 618 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:39,560 Speaker 1: the answer. I don't know. But what comes to mind is, 619 00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,560 Speaker 1: and this is going to sound self indulgent, so I'm 620 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:46,439 Speaker 1: scared to say it, but I don't mean it too. 621 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:50,560 Speaker 1: But lately I've had a lot of messages from people 622 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:55,480 Speaker 1: telling me thank you for being you, and I'm like, 623 00:35:55,600 --> 00:36:02,920 Speaker 1: oh ah, sure, like and like what, I love a 624 00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:06,560 Speaker 1: lot of men, more men than women. Lately, I had 625 00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,959 Speaker 1: a guy write me a message yesterday morning. I wrote 626 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,359 Speaker 1: back to him and I might read it to you, Well, 627 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,279 Speaker 1: I won't. I won't buy you. I won't read it 628 00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,800 Speaker 1: on here, of course. But it was long and deep 629 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:24,920 Speaker 1: and vulnerable and beautiful, and I'm like, like, he's talking 630 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,680 Speaker 1: to me as though i'm his like a super duper 631 00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:32,560 Speaker 1: important person in his life. And I guess I've had 632 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:37,760 Speaker 1: an awareness that I maybe just the awareness has increased 633 00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,440 Speaker 1: that I do have quite an impact on some people. 634 00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,799 Speaker 1: And what a responsibility that is. I think That's what 635 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:50,919 Speaker 1: I'm trying to say. It's it's a privilege and it's 636 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:58,680 Speaker 1: a responsibility. So I need to be really careful because 637 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,960 Speaker 1: you know, I'm a champion at taking the piss and 638 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,799 Speaker 1: having fun and being silly, but I also need to 639 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,319 Speaker 1: be really careful and mindful and aware about what I 640 00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:12,680 Speaker 1: say to whom and when and how. But yeah, just 641 00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:17,560 Speaker 1: that privilege of being held in high regard by people 642 00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:22,480 Speaker 1: and being able to help them without even knowing that 643 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:25,160 Speaker 1: I'm helping them. You know. It's like even you you said, 644 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,840 Speaker 1: I got this thing that you said from a podcast 645 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,600 Speaker 1: earlier this year about you know, the solution or the 646 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:33,759 Speaker 1: antidote is gratitude, and you wrote, It's like, I get 647 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,480 Speaker 1: that all the time. I get that where people go. 648 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:40,319 Speaker 1: Your stuff is all over my house, But we've got 649 00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:43,239 Speaker 1: your stuff in my office at work. We've got whiteboards 650 00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:47,560 Speaker 1: copied printed. I've got your shit on my desk. I've 651 00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:51,799 Speaker 1: got like all the time. And strangers that you know, 652 00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:54,279 Speaker 1: not like five times a day, but at least once 653 00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:58,000 Speaker 1: or twice a week, somebody goes, harps, thanks for what 654 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:01,640 Speaker 1: you do. Love you, You're great. Whatever you know. I'm 655 00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,080 Speaker 1: sure there are a couple that see me and want 656 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:04,719 Speaker 1: to call me. I can't and tell me to fuck off, 657 00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:10,000 Speaker 1: but they don't because apparently I'm intimidating. But anyway, but yeah, 658 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,279 Speaker 1: so maybe that maybe just the impact that I have 659 00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:16,800 Speaker 1: on people more than I thought, but also the responsibility 660 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,160 Speaker 1: because it's kind of a it's not a burden, but 661 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:23,919 Speaker 1: it's a it's something that weighs heavy that I'm I'm 662 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:27,840 Speaker 1: showing up in a way that serves people. Really. Yeah, 663 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:31,960 Speaker 1: so yeah, what about you, cook? Have you had a 664 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:35,320 Speaker 1: revelation this year? Do you know what she said before 665 00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:38,399 Speaker 1: everyone when we had a little break, just a micro break, 666 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:42,000 Speaker 1: said that that the thing I've realized this year is 667 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,640 Speaker 1: how great she is. That's what she wanted me to say. 668 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:51,120 Speaker 2: But just giving you a prompt, I thought that's what 669 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,160 Speaker 2: you were trying. I thought was on the tibia tongue. 670 00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:55,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he thought that's what I was like. 671 00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:56,840 Speaker 2: I could just feel the energy of it, so I 672 00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:59,879 Speaker 2: thought I'd put it out there. I was just sooner 673 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,120 Speaker 2: later I guess something in life was going to prove 674 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:03,480 Speaker 2: me wrong. And that was the moment. 675 00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:08,440 Speaker 1: Yeah you go, okay, but I wouldn't say you were 676 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:13,880 Speaker 1: the biggest revelation of the year. Yeah, it don't surprise 677 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:18,760 Speaker 1: me that much is there either of you two something 678 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:22,560 Speaker 1: this year that's been really if not like an overwhelmingly standout, 679 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:26,200 Speaker 1: but something that springs to mind that's been a significant 680 00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:30,399 Speaker 1: awakening or awareness or lesson or insight for you that's 681 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:31,880 Speaker 1: been valuable either of you. 682 00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:36,799 Speaker 2: I don't think there's been anything that's I think for 683 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:41,640 Speaker 2: me it's more of a it's more realizations of things 684 00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:45,520 Speaker 2: that you know theoretically, like I know and talk about 685 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:48,560 Speaker 2: things theoretically all the time, and then you know, I 686 00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:51,000 Speaker 2: talked about how the start of this year, like my 687 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,759 Speaker 2: life is very different this year to last year, but 688 00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,400 Speaker 2: my life is exactly the same. The only thing that 689 00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:02,839 Speaker 2: changed was my attitude and how I chose to view 690 00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:04,879 Speaker 2: it all. And I mean, that was just the most 691 00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:11,080 Speaker 2: profound experience. That is ridiculous because I literally talk about it. 692 00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:12,719 Speaker 2: I talk about it, but I had to go and 693 00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:15,680 Speaker 2: get on a mountain and come home and change one 694 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,520 Speaker 2: or two things. And next minute I went from oh, 695 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:21,239 Speaker 2: I'm so busy, I'm always busy, and I can't this 696 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,120 Speaker 2: and I can't that. In all of these cages I'd 697 00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:28,520 Speaker 2: put myself in, and then overnight I was sitting in 698 00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:32,160 Speaker 2: the same life, going fuck, how lucky am I like 699 00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:34,799 Speaker 2: all this freedom, all this stuff. Look what I get 700 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:37,759 Speaker 2: to do? Who even gets to do this? I could 701 00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:39,400 Speaker 2: do whatever I want, whatever I want. 702 00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:44,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, I have. Can I have a guess at something 703 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,719 Speaker 1: that I think has been an awakening or a revelation 704 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,799 Speaker 1: or a breakthrough for you? Maybe not. I could be 705 00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:54,120 Speaker 1: totally wrong, but I feel like for you, you've realized 706 00:40:54,360 --> 00:41:00,080 Speaker 1: that trusting some people is okay. Like I feel like 707 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:03,560 Speaker 1: you've opened the trust door with people, because you know, 708 00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:06,440 Speaker 1: you did have that big fuck off sign on your 709 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,400 Speaker 1: forehead for the first forty or so years. You know, 710 00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,440 Speaker 1: you did have that. There was that, But I feel 711 00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:18,800 Speaker 1: like you trust people more and you've probably I feel like, also, 712 00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:23,320 Speaker 1: what's the right term, you've softened a bit. You're a 713 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:29,960 Speaker 1: bit less adversarial and hard and you're okay with you know, 714 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:35,319 Speaker 1: you're still very strong and resilient, but I feel like 715 00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,880 Speaker 1: you've softened a little bit in terms of empathy and 716 00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:40,400 Speaker 1: you know, opening up to people a little bit. 717 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:42,319 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I feel that. 718 00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:43,959 Speaker 2: I think you're right. 719 00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:46,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, col. 720 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:51,680 Speaker 4: Biggest thing for me was learning to stop being scared, 721 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:57,759 Speaker 4: so just being able to take the steps of you know, hey, 722 00:41:57,760 --> 00:41:59,560 Speaker 4: a you can I ask you some more questions or 723 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:00,799 Speaker 4: you know, I'm going to. 724 00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:03,880 Speaker 3: Hit publish on this. I'm going to actually. 725 00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,560 Speaker 4: Share some things that I've written with people that I know, 726 00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:11,759 Speaker 4: which was the scariest thing ever and yet the most 727 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:12,640 Speaker 4: rewarding thing. 728 00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:18,160 Speaker 3: So that's just how much I've held myself back. 729 00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:23,839 Speaker 1: The funny thing about fear is you can't think your 730 00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:26,359 Speaker 1: way out of being scared. You can only act your 731 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:29,120 Speaker 1: way out of being scared. You can only do your 732 00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:31,600 Speaker 1: way out of it, because it's in the doing of 733 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:35,839 Speaker 1: the thing that scares you that the volume goes down 734 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:36,400 Speaker 1: on the fear. 735 00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:40,359 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you know, do you know I call it. 736 00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,480 Speaker 4: There's that story the bear hunt. You know, We're going 737 00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:46,239 Speaker 4: on a bear hunt, and you can't go over it, 738 00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:48,319 Speaker 4: you can't go under it, you can't go around it. 739 00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:49,399 Speaker 3: You've got to go through it. 740 00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:54,200 Speaker 4: And I just kind of it's really well, it's not silly, 741 00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:55,960 Speaker 4: but because it works for me. But I kind of 742 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,719 Speaker 4: I think of that over and over when I'm absolutely 743 00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:02,879 Speaker 4: shit scared of doing something, and it's like, well, you've 744 00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:04,520 Speaker 4: got to go through it to get over it. 745 00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:07,359 Speaker 3: It's the only way, do you know. 746 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,600 Speaker 1: One of the most terrifying things for people who are 747 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:15,840 Speaker 1: insecure and fearful and have self doubt and imposter syndrome 748 00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:19,120 Speaker 1: is standing in front of one hundred people or two 749 00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:23,520 Speaker 1: hundred people, knowing that not because they're bad, but that's 750 00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:26,800 Speaker 1: just the way humans work, that they are all literally 751 00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:30,719 Speaker 1: judging you, right like when you get up for the 752 00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:33,040 Speaker 1: first time and you're new, because we do it too, 753 00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,200 Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean we're looking for a problem or 754 00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:39,799 Speaker 1: we're being critical, but our immediate kind of go to 755 00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:42,719 Speaker 1: as humans is to try to figure out who the 756 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,399 Speaker 1: fuck that is in front of us. Do I like them? 757 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,680 Speaker 1: Do I not like them? Are they trustworthy? Are they smart? 758 00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:50,040 Speaker 1: Are they full of shit? Do I feel safe? Do 759 00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:53,120 Speaker 1: I feel unsafe? This is I mean, this is our brain, 760 00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:58,280 Speaker 1: the protector that's always trying to evaluate and ascertain and judge, 761 00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:01,560 Speaker 1: and you know, realizing when you start to figure out 762 00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:03,880 Speaker 1: how people work in minds work and brains work, and 763 00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:07,719 Speaker 1: you go, ah, I'm literally going to go stand in 764 00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,400 Speaker 1: front of a room and they won't remember much of 765 00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:13,520 Speaker 1: the first three minutes because all they're doing is evaluating 766 00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:15,920 Speaker 1: whether or not I'm a fucking idiot or worth listening to. 767 00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:21,920 Speaker 1: You know, that's terrifying, But how do you get through 768 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,399 Speaker 1: that well? You can't sit on the couch and read 769 00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:26,759 Speaker 1: a book and get through it. You can't talk to 770 00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,440 Speaker 1: someone else about it where you can, but that's not 771 00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:32,239 Speaker 1: going to alleviate the fear. It might give you another perspective, 772 00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,919 Speaker 1: which might help, but the only way that you get 773 00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:38,279 Speaker 1: through that fear is, you know, like you do with 774 00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:41,080 Speaker 1: your bare analogy, is you just go fucking show up 775 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:43,680 Speaker 1: and you know, jump in and do the thing, and 776 00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,919 Speaker 1: know that some people won't like you, and some people 777 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:51,280 Speaker 1: won't think you're great, and some people will yeah, cool, cool. 778 00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:53,680 Speaker 1: You know. I think I've said this ten times over 779 00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:56,160 Speaker 1: the years. But one of my in my first time 780 00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:58,400 Speaker 1: around at UNI, one of my supervisors, who is this 781 00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:05,000 Speaker 1: great old dude, he said, what did he say? Yeah, 782 00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,120 Speaker 1: if you don't if you want everyone to like you 783 00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:10,040 Speaker 1: and no one to dislike you, then say nothing, do nothing, 784 00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:13,560 Speaker 1: be nothing, and stand for nothing. Or basically was saying, 785 00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:16,520 Speaker 1: if you don't want anyone to dislike you, you know 786 00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,480 Speaker 1: because as soon as you have an opinion or an 787 00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,480 Speaker 1: idea or a story or a purpose, or you take 788 00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:25,160 Speaker 1: some action, you know that's gonna that's going to fly 789 00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:27,680 Speaker 1: with some people and not with others. And you can 790 00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:29,920 Speaker 1: you can be the best person with the best intentions, 791 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,560 Speaker 1: doing the best work. There will absolutely be people that 792 00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:36,879 Speaker 1: for some reason do not like you, and so you've 793 00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:39,120 Speaker 1: got to prepare for that and that whole lot. It's 794 00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:41,799 Speaker 1: not fair, it's not yep, correct, it's not fair, but 795 00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:46,880 Speaker 1: it's super common. So I feel like I banged on 796 00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:48,839 Speaker 1: too much. Kel thanks for coming out to play. It's 797 00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:49,720 Speaker 1: nice to see you again. 798 00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:55,320 Speaker 3: That was great fun, Tiff, Thank you, Thanks Team. 799 00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:57,000 Speaker 1: Chocolate. 800 00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:59,560 Speaker 4: I'm going to put my sign copy in the Facebook 801 00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,160 Speaker 4: group and see how much I can get for it. 802 00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:07,799 Speaker 1: Yeah, fucking hell. That's hurtful. But there's none left. 803 00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:09,160 Speaker 3: There's none left, So you know. 804 00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,200 Speaker 1: Could you not do that? Because I know it's going 805 00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,560 Speaker 1: to be less than I'm going to get my mum 806 00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:16,000 Speaker 1: to bid. 807 00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:21,640 Speaker 4: This is actually, in all seriousness, it was a pivotal 808 00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:27,520 Speaker 4: moment for me because I was so still shit scared 809 00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:30,160 Speaker 4: of talking to you at the gym, and I remember, 810 00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:32,640 Speaker 4: just before going to do the read through of it, 811 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:34,879 Speaker 4: you were there and you're like, have a good day, 812 00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:36,920 Speaker 4: and I'm like, I'm going to see you in like 813 00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:38,360 Speaker 4: half an hour and you're like, are you coming, And 814 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:39,040 Speaker 4: I'm like yep. 815 00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:42,960 Speaker 3: And it was really cool. Yeah, it was great. It 816 00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:44,919 Speaker 3: was great. It was the start of it all. 817 00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:47,200 Speaker 1: You should have got to mention in the book as 818 00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:52,520 Speaker 1: one of the twenty editors. Next time. Thanks ladies.