WEBVTT - Bro, I've been there & done that!

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<v Speaker 1>Apote production.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome back to another episode of Am I a Bad

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<v Speaker 2>Mum Podcast? Where we are on the downhead. I was

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<v Speaker 2>going to say slide, I was going to say sledge.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, lay off, we go.

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<v Speaker 3>You're trying to like bring it into Christmas, so we

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<v Speaker 3>use the sleigh. Speaking of Christmas, Christmas tree ran up

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<v Speaker 3>over the weekend.

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<v Speaker 1>Yours is gone early. Yeah, what's wrong with me? I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I've got it in my mind that it has to

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<v Speaker 2>be first of December.

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<v Speaker 3>I know, But then I have thought about it and

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, I'm going to put it up. When

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<v Speaker 3>you start to stack your weekends up prior to Christmas,

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<v Speaker 3>which is what I was doing, I was sort of

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<v Speaker 3>having a moment of going, oh my gosh, we've got

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<v Speaker 3>lots on coming up, and it seems to be something

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<v Speaker 3>on every day of the weekend.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you know what I mean? Might not be the

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<v Speaker 1>whole day.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm sure there'll be hours where we're at home, but

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<v Speaker 3>there was just big things coming up, and I was like, ah,

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<v Speaker 3>just put it up.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>See, I do like putting up the Christmas tree, and

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<v Speaker 2>I like it being like maybe a Sunday afternoon when

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<v Speaker 2>you can have a little drink on the go, put

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<v Speaker 2>some Christmas music on. I also there's a weird OCD

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<v Speaker 2>part of me that gets a bit upset about putting

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<v Speaker 2>up the Christmas decorations because I get a little bit

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<v Speaker 2>frustrated that I have to move some of my other

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<v Speaker 2>stuff that's there on a daily basis and put that

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<v Speaker 2>stuff away because I'm like, well, I like that stuff

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<v Speaker 2>because that's what I've chose to be in my house

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<v Speaker 2>every single day, and then I'm having to replace it

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<v Speaker 2>with the Christmas stuff.

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<v Speaker 3>I actually enjoyed the process this year. Remember back in

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<v Speaker 3>the days where you literally feel like you put the

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<v Speaker 3>tree up and then a bomb here.

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<v Speaker 1>It's because it just goes. It's got shit everywhere.

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<v Speaker 3>There's no organization, there's no color scheme. It's just a

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<v Speaker 3>free for all, and then everyone fights.

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<v Speaker 1>You get to put the star on, we're not there anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>And then they go to bed and you read the CHRISTI.

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<v Speaker 1>I never readid it.

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<v Speaker 3>I'd look at it and go what an I saw

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<v Speaker 3>for like four weeks and then literally Boxing day would

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<v Speaker 3>come and I'd be like.

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<v Speaker 1>Trees coming down. But some day, yeah, I'm a quicker.

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<v Speaker 2>You have to wait too.

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<v Speaker 1>After New Year's I just can't. I can't look at

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<v Speaker 1>it anymore after the presents are gone.

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<v Speaker 2>My memory as a kid was always New Year's Eve

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<v Speaker 2>and you'd do the old lang sine.

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<v Speaker 1>Does anyone still do that? You know that song? No,

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<v Speaker 1>you don't know about the No, never heard it. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>go and sing it.

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<v Speaker 2>For the sake of old lang signe for I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know the words. It's twelve o'clock, Happy New Year. Everyone

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<v Speaker 2>kisses each other and then you do the old langne.

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<v Speaker 2>I think from memory you link alms. Yeah, you're in

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<v Speaker 2>a circle. This is obviously an English English thing, and

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<v Speaker 2>you sing the old link sign. And so my memory

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<v Speaker 2>as a kid was that song. But the Christmas tree

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<v Speaker 2>was always up.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah right, my kids don't have that memory because I

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<v Speaker 3>haven't allowed that because boxing dog, I can't.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait to get it down this year. It's so much neater.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. And the girls helped me put it up, and

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<v Speaker 3>it was still organized chaos with kids, but at the

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<v Speaker 3>same time just had a little bit more structure to it.

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<v Speaker 2>We put our Christmas tree down on the first of January,

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<v Speaker 2>so first day of the New year, and it's almost

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<v Speaker 2>a bit of a sad day because you know, when

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<v Speaker 2>you hear people and they're like, I got up on

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<v Speaker 2>Newuesday and I went for a run and I started

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<v Speaker 2>the year. How I want the Yeah fresh? And how

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<v Speaker 2>I want the Mine's like a hungover, tired mess, sad,

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<v Speaker 2>feeling unwell taking down Christmas.

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<v Speaker 1>Mine usually starts on the second.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't need the first to be my day that

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<v Speaker 3>I'm going to be fresh, because I usually know that

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<v Speaker 3>by the end of the night, you've had a late night,

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<v Speaker 3>there's been a few shandies shared, and we'll start.

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<v Speaker 1>On the second.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, start on the second, and it's my beth down

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<v Speaker 2>and the third, so.

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<v Speaker 1>We start again.

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<v Speaker 3>Am I a bad mum for not knowing how to

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<v Speaker 3>fire them up?

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<v Speaker 1>It's that time of year where we've got a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of competitions for Elsie coming up.

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<v Speaker 3>You know you enjoy this because you know how like

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<v Speaker 3>non competitive I am as a parent. But yeah, that's

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<v Speaker 3>a lie, a blatant lie.

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<v Speaker 1>But no, so el just go.

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<v Speaker 3>Heaps of athletics going on at the moment, and a

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<v Speaker 3>few weekends ago I had to share the load and

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<v Speaker 3>actually ask Sam to parent as well and take her

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<v Speaker 3>to It was like a full state relay athletic state.

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<v Speaker 1>Like it was a big day and she was competing.

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<v Speaker 3>Now, Elsie's very strong, she's very competitive, you know, she

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<v Speaker 3>likes to win.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's weird. Yeah, so weird.

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<v Speaker 2>I wonder who she gets that from.

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<v Speaker 3>It's weird because when she goes into competition mode, it's

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<v Speaker 3>almost like she shies away, all backs off from wanting

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<v Speaker 3>to be better than others.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just a new thing.

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<v Speaker 2>She was always the kid that was like, I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>to win. I'm going to get first in cross country.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>And did I now have this thing where I've got

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<v Speaker 3>Sam on the phone getting angry at me for not

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<v Speaker 3>knowing how he can fire up Elsie because he had

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<v Speaker 3>to do athletics because I was at dance rehearsal for

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<v Speaker 3>the concert, which is like eight till five, And I

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<v Speaker 3>assume that he didn't want to do that part of

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<v Speaker 3>the day because he's not hair and makeup qualified.

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<v Speaker 2>To remember, Jay, my husband had to get the girls

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<v Speaker 2>ready for the dance concept once and he googled how

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<v Speaker 2>to do their hair and ended up finding something on

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<v Speaker 2>Google that said use the vacuum cleaner, you know, the

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<v Speaker 2>like vacuum cleaner when you've got the small.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you've got the real thin attachment.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, the thin one, so suck up the hair with

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<v Speaker 2>the vacuum cleaner and have the hairband on the end

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<v Speaker 2>and then just push it.

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<v Speaker 1>He did that, He didn't do that? Yeah? Did it work? Yes?

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<v Speaker 3>No, I would never let someone go to my hair

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<v Speaker 3>with a vacuum cleaner.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, how hard is it to a ponytail? Anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>It's like he had to do like a French.

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<v Speaker 1>Bloody no disrespect. But he is a dad brain, That's

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<v Speaker 1>all I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 3>So, yeah, I've got Sam on the phone who's messaging me,

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<v Speaker 3>getting angry at me because Elsie's not winning like she

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<v Speaker 3>should be and.

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<v Speaker 1>He doesn't know how to fire her up.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you think that that is like a fair call

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<v Speaker 3>for one parent to message the other and go, I

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<v Speaker 3>don't know how to fire this kid up?

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<v Speaker 1>Why are you looking at me?

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<v Speaker 2>Sometimes I feel like it's okay to not reply because

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<v Speaker 2>I sometimes I got a Texas morning saying Amelia is

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<v Speaker 2>driving me crazy, and I was at the gym and

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, what do you want me to reply

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<v Speaker 2>in that?

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<v Speaker 1>Work it out?

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<v Speaker 2>Work it out, like I know, we need to have

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<v Speaker 2>each other's back.

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<v Speaker 1>And we do. We do.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I don't know what you want me to say,

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<v Speaker 2>and I thought to myself, I can either stress myself

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<v Speaker 2>out here and start replying, or I could enjoy what

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<v Speaker 2>I was doing at the gym.

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<v Speaker 3>Yep, So I tried that oestion too and continued enjoying

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<v Speaker 3>myself at the gym. You know what I did, which

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<v Speaker 3>you've just highlighted, is I went into the dive and

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<v Speaker 3>I was stressed because I was at dance rehearsals and.

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<v Speaker 1>We're in quick change, so lots is going on.

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<v Speaker 3>And Grace's always high of emotions if it's anything to

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<v Speaker 3>do with dance in general, so usually her and I

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<v Speaker 3>are trying to kill each other. But I went for

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<v Speaker 3>the dive and I was like, what do you want

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<v Speaker 3>from me right now? How do you suggest I help

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<v Speaker 3>you right now? When you're at athletics. I was like, also, sorry,

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<v Speaker 3>did you not have sixteen years of elite football, all

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<v Speaker 3>skills that.

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<v Speaker 1>You could somehow use to fire your child?

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<v Speaker 2>What did your coach say to you?

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<v Speaker 3>So did you play for the Brisbane Broncos or Australia?

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<v Speaker 3>How did you fire yourself up? Like? Try and use

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<v Speaker 3>that well, make it more child friendly and use that

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<v Speaker 3>to help her teach her show us some skills like,

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<v Speaker 3>that's what she wants to do.

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<v Speaker 1>She wants to learn from you. No text mom. I'll

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<v Speaker 1>text mom and tell her you're not what do you

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<v Speaker 1>want from me?

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's also okay to do. And I actually

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<v Speaker 2>think this is a really good line and this works

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<v Speaker 2>with kids husbands. It might be to go, how can

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<v Speaker 2>I help you in this situation? Yea, what do you

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<v Speaker 2>want me to do? What do you want from me?

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<v Speaker 2>My kids will say, you know, this has happened, or

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<v Speaker 2>my finger is hurting or whatever it might be, and

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<v Speaker 2>I go, Okay, what would you like me to do

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<v Speaker 2>about it? And often they'll go nothing, I just.

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<v Speaker 1>Needed to tell you. Yeah, I know.

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<v Speaker 3>I've actually just of recent started that with the girls

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<v Speaker 3>because I get these big stories and they're like they're long,

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<v Speaker 3>and we know, as mums you got lots to do,

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<v Speaker 3>so you're trying to stay engaged and you're trying to

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<v Speaker 3>stay there with them, and then we get right to

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<v Speaker 3>the end, and then I've missed the point of the

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<v Speaker 3>whole story. So then I get to the end and go, okay,

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<v Speaker 3>so how do you feel about that? And then they

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<v Speaker 3>give me a little bit more of a spell, and

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<v Speaker 3>then I'm like, so, how can I help you, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>push through this or you know, how do I help

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<v Speaker 3>you sort this out? Or like whatever, and they go,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't, I just we know you just listened. Okay, great,

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<v Speaker 3>all right, because.

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<v Speaker 2>Otherwise you get frustrated. We can get frustrated so often

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<v Speaker 2>with like if someone's you know, let's use to hurt

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<v Speaker 2>my finger thing, it's like like, come on, like really

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<v Speaker 2>that's a problem fing a big deal, like you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, And that's that's why I end up saying,

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<v Speaker 2>like there's this big drama about what would you like

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<v Speaker 2>me to do in that in this situation, because the

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<v Speaker 2>alternative and what I've done in the past is gone.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, we'll do this and try this and yeah, this will.

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<v Speaker 2>Happen, and then you get all worked up in stress,

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<v Speaker 2>and what you really want to say is it's fucking

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<v Speaker 2>her finger.

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<v Speaker 1>Come on, suck it up.

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<v Speaker 3>You know. One thing just to wrat this up is

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<v Speaker 3>my nephew is three or three and a half nearly, you.

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<v Speaker 1>Know, like it's three and a half.

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<v Speaker 3>He's just hit that horrible, horrible three and a half

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<v Speaker 3>age which we've all been through or are going through,

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<v Speaker 3>and just on that, like, how can I help you?

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<v Speaker 1>I was a little bit hungover on the weekend, just.

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<v Speaker 3>To tad, and my brother came over with my nephew

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<v Speaker 3>and he had shit his pants and he decided to

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<v Speaker 3>then continue to try and jump all over me.

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<v Speaker 1>And I turned to my brother and was like.

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<v Speaker 3>There's no way that I can help you with this,

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<v Speaker 3>and just handed his son back and was like, this

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<v Speaker 3>is your responsibility.

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<v Speaker 1>Here you go. And he's like, what do you want

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<v Speaker 1>me to do about it? I said, Ah, that is

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<v Speaker 1>not mine. I'm not even going to offer to help.

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<v Speaker 1>That's not mine. I've been there, I've done that. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>it's your nephew too, take it away.