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Speaker 1: Apote production. Welcome back to another episode of Am I

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Speaker 1: a Bad Mum Podcast? Where we are on the downhead.

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Speaker 1: I was going to say slide, I was going to

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Speaker 1: say sledge. I was like, lay off, we go.

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Speaker 2: You're trying to like bring it into Christmas, so we

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Speaker 2: use the sleigh. Speaking of Christmas, Christmas tree ran up

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Speaker 2: over the weekend.

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Speaker 1: Yours is gone early. Yeah, what's wrong with me? I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I've got it in my mind that it

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Speaker 1: has to be first of December.

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Speaker 2: I know, But then I have thought about it and

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Speaker 2: I was like, I'm going to put it up. When

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Speaker 2: you start to stack your weekends up prior to Christmas,

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Speaker 2: which is what I was doing, I was sort of

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Speaker 2: having a moment of going, oh my gosh, we've got

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Speaker 2: lots on coming up, and it seems to be something

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Speaker 2: on every day of the weekend. Do you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean? Might not be the whole day. I'm sure

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Speaker 2: there'll be hours where we're at home, but there was

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Speaker 2: just big things coming up, and I was like, ah,

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Speaker 2: just put it up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. See, I do like putting up the Christmas tree,

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Speaker 1: and I like it being like maybe a Sunday afternoon

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Speaker 1: when you can have a little drink on the go,

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Speaker 1: put some Christmas music on. I also there's a weird

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Speaker 1: OCD part of me that gets a bit upset about

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Speaker 1: putting up the Christmas decorations because I get a little

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Speaker 1: bit frustrated that I have to move some of my

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Speaker 1: other stuff that's there on a daily basis and put

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Speaker 1: that stuff away because I'm like, well, I like that

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Speaker 1: stuff because that's what I've chose to be in my

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Speaker 1: house every single day, and then I'm having to replace

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Speaker 1: it with the Christmas stuff.

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Speaker 2: I actually enjoyed the process this year. Remember back in

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Speaker 2: the days where you literally feel like you put the

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Speaker 2: tree up and then a bomb here. It's because it

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Speaker 2: just goes. It's got shit everywhere. There's no organization, there's

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Speaker 2: no color scheme. It's just a free for all, and

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Speaker 2: then everyone fights. You get to put the star on,

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Speaker 2: we're not there anymore.

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Speaker 1: And then they go to bed and you read the CHRISTI.

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Speaker 2: I never readid it. I'd look at it and go

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Speaker 2: what an I saw for like four weeks and then

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Speaker 2: literally Boxing day would come and I'd be like trees

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Speaker 2: coming down. But some day, yeah, I'm a quicker.

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Speaker 1: You have to wait too.

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Speaker 2: After New Year's I just can't. I can't look at

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Speaker 2: it anymore after the presents are gone.

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Speaker 1: My memory as a kid was always New Year's Eve

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Speaker 1: and you'd do the old lang sine. Does anyone still

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Speaker 1: do that? You know that song? No, you don't know

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Speaker 1: about the.

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Speaker 2: No, never heard it. Oh, go and sing it.

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Speaker 1: For the sake of old lang signe for I don't

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Speaker 1: know the words. It's twelve o'clock, Happy New Year. Everyone

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Speaker 1: kisses each other and then you do the old langne.

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Speaker 1: I think from memory you link alms. Yeah, you're in

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Speaker 1: a circle. This is obviously an English English thing, and

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Speaker 1: you sing the old link sign. And so my memory

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Speaker 1: as a kid was that song. But the Christmas tree

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Speaker 1: was always up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah right, my kids don't have that memory because I

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Speaker 2: haven't allowed that because boxing dog, I can't wait to

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Speaker 2: get it down this year. It's so much neater. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And the girls helped me put it up, and it

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Speaker 2: was still organized chaos with kids, but at the same

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Speaker 2: time just had a little bit more structure to it.

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Speaker 1: We put our Christmas tree down on the first of January,

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Speaker 1: so first day of the New year, and it's almost

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Speaker 1: a bit of a sad day because you know, when

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Speaker 1: you hear people and they're like, I got up on

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Speaker 1: Newuesday and I went for a run and I started

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Speaker 1: the year. How I want the Yeah fresh? And how

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Speaker 1: I want the Mine's like a hungover, tired mess, sad,

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Speaker 1: feeling unwell taking down Christmas.

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Speaker 2: Mine usually starts on the second. I don't need the

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Speaker 2: first to be my day that I'm going to be fresh,

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Speaker 2: because I usually know that by the end of the night,

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Speaker 2: you've had a late night, there's been a few shandies shared,

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Speaker 2: and we'll start on the second.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, start on the second, and it's my beth down

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Speaker 1: and the third, so we start again.

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Speaker 2: Am I a bad mum for not knowing how to

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Speaker 2: fire them up? It's that time of year where we've

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Speaker 2: got a lot of competitions for Elsie coming up. You

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Speaker 2: know you enjoy this because you know how like non

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Speaker 2: competitive I am as a parent. But yeah, that's a lie,

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Speaker 2: a blatant lie. But no, so I just go. Heaps

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Speaker 2: of athletics going on at the moment, and a few

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Speaker 2: weekends ago I had to share the load and actually

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Speaker 2: ask Sam to parent as well and take her to

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Speaker 2: It was like a full state relay athletic state Like

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Speaker 2: it was a big day and she was competing. Now,

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Speaker 2: Elsie's very strong, she's very competitive, you know, she likes

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Speaker 2: to win. But it's weird.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so weird. I wonder who she gets that from.

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Speaker 2: It's weird because when she goes into competition mode, it's

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Speaker 2: almost like she shies away, all backs off from wanting

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Speaker 2: to be better than others. It's just a new thing.

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Speaker 1: She was always the kid that was like, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to win. I'm going to get first in cross country.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And did I now have this thing where I've

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Speaker 2: got Sam on the phone getting angry at me for

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Speaker 2: not knowing how he can fire up Elsie because he

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Speaker 2: had to do athletics because I was at dance rehearsal

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Speaker 2: for the concert, which is like eight till five, And

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Speaker 2: I assume that he didn't want to do that part

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Speaker 2: of the day because he's not hair and makeup qualified.

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Speaker 1: To remember, Jay, my husband had to get the girls

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Speaker 1: ready for the dance concept once and he googled how

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Speaker 1: to do their hair and ended up finding something on

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Speaker 1: Google that said use the vacuum cleaner, you know, the

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Speaker 1: like vacuum cleaner when you've got the small.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you've got the real thin attachment.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the thin one, so suck up the hair with

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Speaker 1: the vacuum cleaner and have the hairband on the end

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Speaker 1: and then just push it. He did that, He didn't

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Speaker 1: do that? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Did it work? Yes? No, I would never let someone

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Speaker 2: go to my hair with a vacuum cleaner.

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Speaker 1: I mean, how hard is it to a ponytail? Anyway,

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Speaker 1: It's like he had to do like a French.

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Speaker 2: Bloody no disrespect. But he is a dad brain, That's

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Speaker 2: all I'm saying. So, yeah, I've got Sam on the

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Speaker 2: phone who's messaging me, getting angry at me because Elsie's

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Speaker 2: not winning like she should be and he doesn't know

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Speaker 2: how to fire her up. Do you think that that

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Speaker 2: is like a fair call for one parent to message

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Speaker 2: the other and go, I don't know how to fire

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Speaker 2: this kid up? Why are you looking at me?

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I feel like it's okay to not reply because

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Speaker 1: I sometimes I got a Texas morning saying Amelia is

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Speaker 1: driving me crazy, and I was at the gym and

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Speaker 1: I was like, what do you want me to reply

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Speaker 1: in that? Work it out? Work it out, like I know,

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Speaker 1: we need to have each other's back, and we do.

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Speaker 2: We do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know what you want me to say,

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Speaker 1: and I thought to myself, I can either stress myself

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Speaker 1: out here and start replying, or I could enjoy what

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Speaker 1: I was doing at the gym. Yep, So I tried

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Speaker 1: that oestion too and continued enjoying myself at the gym.

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Speaker 2: You know what I did, which you've just highlighted, is

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Speaker 2: I went into the dive and I was stressed because

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Speaker 2: I was at dance rehearsals and we're in quick change,

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Speaker 2: so lots is going on, and Grace is always high

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Speaker 2: of emotions if it's anything to do with dance in general.

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Speaker 2: So usually her and I are trying to kill each other.

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Speaker 2: But I went for the dive and I was like,

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Speaker 2: what do you want from me right now? How do

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Speaker 2: you suggest I help you right now? When you're at athletics.

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Speaker 2: I was like, also, sorry, did you not have sixteen

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Speaker 2: years of elite football, all skills that you could somehow

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Speaker 2: use to fire your child?

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Speaker 1: What did your coach say to you?

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Speaker 2: So did you play for the Brisbane Broncos or Australia?

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Speaker 2: How did you fire yourself up? Like? Try and use

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Speaker 2: that well, make it more child friendly and use that

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Speaker 2: to help her teach her show us some skills like,

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Speaker 2: that's what she wants to do. She wants to learn

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Speaker 2: from you. No text mom. I'll text mom and tell

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Speaker 2: her you're not what do you want from me?

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Speaker 1: I think it's also okay to do. And I actually

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Speaker 1: think this is a really good line and this works

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Speaker 1: with kids husbands. It might be to go, how can

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Speaker 1: I help you in this situation? Yea, what do you

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Speaker 1: want me to do? What do you want from me?

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Speaker 1: My kids will say, you know, this has happened, or

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Speaker 1: my finger is hurting or whatever it might be, and

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Speaker 1: I go, Okay, what would you like me to do

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Speaker 1: about it? And often they'll go nothing, I just needed

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Speaker 1: to tell you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. I've actually just of recent started that

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Speaker 2: with the girls because I get these big stories and

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Speaker 2: they're like they're long, and we know, as mums you've

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Speaker 2: got lots to do, so you're trying to stay engaged

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Speaker 2: and you're trying to stay there with them, and then

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Speaker 2: we get right to the end, and then I've missed

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Speaker 2: the point of the whole story. So then I get

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Speaker 2: to the end and go, okay, so how do you

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Speaker 2: feel about that? And then they give me a little

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Speaker 2: bit more of a spell, and then I'm like, so

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Speaker 2: how can I help you, you know, push through this,

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Speaker 2: or you know, how do I help you sort this out?

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Speaker 2: Or like whatever, and they go, I don't, I just

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Speaker 2: we know you just listened. Okay, great, all right, because.

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Speaker 1: Otherwise you get frustrated. We can get frustrated so often

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Speaker 1: with like if someone's you know, let's use the hurt

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Speaker 1: my finger thing, it's like like, come on, like really,

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Speaker 1: that's a problem fing a big deal, like you know,

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Speaker 1: you know, And that's that's why I end up saying,

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Speaker 1: like there's this big drama about what would you like

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Speaker 1: me to do in that in this situation, because the

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Speaker 1: alternative and what I've done in the past is gone, Okay,

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Speaker 1: we'll do this and try this and yeah, this will happen,

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Speaker 1: and then you get all worked up in stress, and

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Speaker 1: what you really want to say is it's fucking her finger.

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Speaker 1: Come on, suck it up.

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Speaker 2: You know. One thing just to wrat this up is

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Speaker 2: my nephew is three or three and a half nearly,

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Speaker 2: you know, like it's three and a half. He's just

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Speaker 2: hit that horrible, horrible three and a half age which

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Speaker 2: we've all been through or are going through, and just

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Speaker 2: on that, like, how can I help you I was

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Speaker 2: a little bit hungover on the weekend, just to tad,

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Speaker 2: and my brother came over with my nephew and he

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Speaker 2: had shit his pants and he decided to then continue

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Speaker 2: to try and jump all over me. And I turned

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Speaker 2: to my brother and was like, there's no way that

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Speaker 2: I can help you with this, and just handed his

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Speaker 2: son back and was like, this is your responsibility. Here

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Speaker 2: you go. And he's like, what do you want me

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Speaker 2: to do about it? I said, Ah, that is not mine.

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Speaker 2: I'm not even going to offer to help.

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Speaker 1: That's not mine.

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Speaker 2: I've been there, I've done that. Oh it's your nephew too,

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Speaker 2: take it away.