1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281 Speaker 1: Apote production. 2 00:00:23,161 --> 00:00:25,881 Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode of Am I a Bad 3 00:00:26,161 --> 00:00:30,801 Speaker 2: Mum Podcast? Where we are on the downhead. I was 4 00:00:30,881 --> 00:00:34,881 Speaker 2: going to say slide, I was going to say sledge. 5 00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:37,081 Speaker 2: I was like, lay off, we go. 6 00:00:38,641 --> 00:00:41,321 Speaker 3: You're trying to like bring it into Christmas, so we 7 00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:45,280 Speaker 3: use the sleigh. Speaking of Christmas, Christmas tree ran up 8 00:00:45,361 --> 00:00:46,241 Speaker 3: over the weekend. 9 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,641 Speaker 1: Yours is gone early. Yeah, what's wrong with me? I 10 00:00:49,681 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 1: don't know. 11 00:00:50,321 --> 00:00:52,001 Speaker 2: I've got it in my mind that it has to 12 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:53,721 Speaker 2: be first of December. 13 00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:54,881 Speaker 3: I know, But then I have thought about it and 14 00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:56,881 Speaker 3: I was like, I'm going to put it up. When 15 00:00:56,921 --> 00:01:02,801 Speaker 3: you start to stack your weekends up prior to Christmas, 16 00:01:02,881 --> 00:01:05,641 Speaker 3: which is what I was doing, I was sort of 17 00:01:05,641 --> 00:01:07,681 Speaker 3: having a moment of going, oh my gosh, we've got 18 00:01:07,761 --> 00:01:10,920 Speaker 3: lots on coming up, and it seems to be something 19 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,881 Speaker 3: on every day of the weekend. 20 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Might not be the 21 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:14,720 Speaker 1: whole day. 22 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:16,681 Speaker 3: I'm sure there'll be hours where we're at home, but 23 00:01:16,721 --> 00:01:19,041 Speaker 3: there was just big things coming up, and I was like, ah, 24 00:01:19,481 --> 00:01:20,281 Speaker 3: just put it up. 25 00:01:20,521 --> 00:01:20,761 Speaker 1: Yeah. 26 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 2: See, I do like putting up the Christmas tree, and 27 00:01:24,041 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 2: I like it being like maybe a Sunday afternoon when 28 00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:30,521 Speaker 2: you can have a little drink on the go, put 29 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:34,881 Speaker 2: some Christmas music on. I also there's a weird OCD 30 00:01:35,401 --> 00:01:39,241 Speaker 2: part of me that gets a bit upset about putting 31 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,601 Speaker 2: up the Christmas decorations because I get a little bit 32 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,481 Speaker 2: frustrated that I have to move some of my other 33 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:47,641 Speaker 2: stuff that's there on a daily basis and put that 34 00:01:47,681 --> 00:01:49,841 Speaker 2: stuff away because I'm like, well, I like that stuff 35 00:01:49,881 --> 00:01:51,561 Speaker 2: because that's what I've chose to be in my house 36 00:01:51,601 --> 00:01:54,001 Speaker 2: every single day, and then I'm having to replace it 37 00:01:54,041 --> 00:01:55,081 Speaker 2: with the Christmas stuff. 38 00:01:55,641 --> 00:02:00,001 Speaker 3: I actually enjoyed the process this year. Remember back in 39 00:02:00,041 --> 00:02:02,801 Speaker 3: the days where you literally feel like you put the 40 00:02:02,881 --> 00:02:05,041 Speaker 3: tree up and then a bomb here. 41 00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:08,161 Speaker 1: It's because it just goes. It's got shit everywhere. 42 00:02:08,481 --> 00:02:12,161 Speaker 3: There's no organization, there's no color scheme. It's just a 43 00:02:12,201 --> 00:02:14,001 Speaker 3: free for all, and then everyone fights. 44 00:02:14,041 --> 00:02:17,321 Speaker 1: You get to put the star on, we're not there anymore. 45 00:02:17,401 --> 00:02:20,641 Speaker 2: And then they go to bed and you read the CHRISTI. 46 00:02:20,881 --> 00:02:21,641 Speaker 1: I never readid it. 47 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:24,401 Speaker 3: I'd look at it and go what an I saw 48 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,800 Speaker 3: for like four weeks and then literally Boxing day would 49 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:28,441 Speaker 3: come and I'd be like. 50 00:02:28,441 --> 00:02:32,001 Speaker 1: Trees coming down. But some day, yeah, I'm a quicker. 51 00:02:32,281 --> 00:02:32,921 Speaker 2: You have to wait too. 52 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,321 Speaker 1: After New Year's I just can't. I can't look at 53 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:36,921 Speaker 1: it anymore after the presents are gone. 54 00:02:37,361 --> 00:02:40,521 Speaker 2: My memory as a kid was always New Year's Eve 55 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,641 Speaker 2: and you'd do the old lang sine. 56 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,921 Speaker 1: Does anyone still do that? You know that song? No, 57 00:02:47,721 --> 00:02:50,361 Speaker 1: you don't know about the No, never heard it. Oh, 58 00:02:50,481 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 1: go and sing it. 59 00:02:51,361 --> 00:02:55,961 Speaker 2: For the sake of old lang signe for I don't 60 00:02:56,001 --> 00:03:00,521 Speaker 2: know the words. It's twelve o'clock, Happy New Year. Everyone 61 00:03:00,601 --> 00:03:03,521 Speaker 2: kisses each other and then you do the old langne. 62 00:03:03,561 --> 00:03:06,641 Speaker 2: I think from memory you link alms. Yeah, you're in 63 00:03:06,641 --> 00:03:09,441 Speaker 2: a circle. This is obviously an English English thing, and 64 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:11,960 Speaker 2: you sing the old link sign. And so my memory 65 00:03:12,001 --> 00:03:15,601 Speaker 2: as a kid was that song. But the Christmas tree 66 00:03:15,641 --> 00:03:16,281 Speaker 2: was always up. 67 00:03:16,481 --> 00:03:18,961 Speaker 3: Yeah right, my kids don't have that memory because I 68 00:03:19,001 --> 00:03:21,481 Speaker 3: haven't allowed that because boxing dog, I can't. 69 00:03:21,361 --> 00:03:24,401 Speaker 1: Wait to get it down this year. It's so much neater. 70 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,441 Speaker 3: Yeah. And the girls helped me put it up, and 71 00:03:26,481 --> 00:03:29,481 Speaker 3: it was still organized chaos with kids, but at the 72 00:03:29,481 --> 00:03:31,521 Speaker 3: same time just had a little bit more structure to it. 73 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,441 Speaker 2: We put our Christmas tree down on the first of January, 74 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,921 Speaker 2: so first day of the New year, and it's almost 75 00:03:36,961 --> 00:03:39,561 Speaker 2: a bit of a sad day because you know, when 76 00:03:39,561 --> 00:03:41,881 Speaker 2: you hear people and they're like, I got up on 77 00:03:42,041 --> 00:03:45,281 Speaker 2: Newuesday and I went for a run and I started 78 00:03:45,281 --> 00:03:48,401 Speaker 2: the year. How I want the Yeah fresh? And how 79 00:03:48,441 --> 00:03:53,281 Speaker 2: I want the Mine's like a hungover, tired mess, sad, 80 00:03:53,561 --> 00:03:57,801 Speaker 2: feeling unwell taking down Christmas. 81 00:03:57,841 --> 00:04:00,961 Speaker 1: Mine usually starts on the second. 82 00:04:01,321 --> 00:04:03,441 Speaker 3: I don't need the first to be my day that 83 00:04:03,481 --> 00:04:05,361 Speaker 3: I'm going to be fresh, because I usually know that 84 00:04:05,521 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 3: by the end of the night, you've had a late night, 85 00:04:07,321 --> 00:04:11,161 Speaker 3: there's been a few shandies shared, and we'll start. 86 00:04:10,921 --> 00:04:11,481 Speaker 1: On the second. 87 00:04:11,721 --> 00:04:13,601 Speaker 2: Yeah, start on the second, and it's my beth down 88 00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:14,201 Speaker 2: and the third, so. 89 00:04:14,161 --> 00:04:15,321 Speaker 1: We start again. 90 00:04:25,801 --> 00:04:30,080 Speaker 3: Am I a bad mum for not knowing how to 91 00:04:30,241 --> 00:04:31,201 Speaker 3: fire them up? 92 00:04:31,561 --> 00:04:33,521 Speaker 1: It's that time of year where we've got a lot 93 00:04:33,601 --> 00:04:35,601 Speaker 1: of competitions for Elsie coming up. 94 00:04:36,281 --> 00:04:38,841 Speaker 3: You know you enjoy this because you know how like 95 00:04:39,001 --> 00:04:43,721 Speaker 3: non competitive I am as a parent. But yeah, that's 96 00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,801 Speaker 3: a lie, a blatant lie. 97 00:04:46,001 --> 00:04:47,161 Speaker 1: But no, so el just go. 98 00:04:47,241 --> 00:04:49,921 Speaker 3: Heaps of athletics going on at the moment, and a 99 00:04:49,921 --> 00:04:51,761 Speaker 3: few weekends ago I had to share the load and 100 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:55,321 Speaker 3: actually ask Sam to parent as well and take her 101 00:04:55,481 --> 00:04:59,561 Speaker 3: to It was like a full state relay athletic state. 102 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,321 Speaker 1: Like it was a big day and she was competing. 103 00:05:01,521 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 3: Now, Elsie's very strong, she's very competitive, you know, she 104 00:05:05,601 --> 00:05:06,121 Speaker 3: likes to win. 105 00:05:06,721 --> 00:05:08,801 Speaker 1: But it's weird. Yeah, so weird. 106 00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:10,401 Speaker 2: I wonder who she gets that from. 107 00:05:11,641 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 3: It's weird because when she goes into competition mode, it's 108 00:05:15,641 --> 00:05:18,961 Speaker 3: almost like she shies away, all backs off from wanting 109 00:05:19,161 --> 00:05:20,481 Speaker 3: to be better than others. 110 00:05:20,681 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: It's just a new thing. 111 00:05:22,201 --> 00:05:24,721 Speaker 2: She was always the kid that was like, I'm going 112 00:05:24,801 --> 00:05:27,241 Speaker 2: to win. I'm going to get first in cross country. 113 00:05:27,481 --> 00:05:27,681 Speaker 1: Yeah. 114 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:32,280 Speaker 3: And did I now have this thing where I've got 115 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 3: Sam on the phone getting angry at me for not 116 00:05:36,601 --> 00:05:40,601 Speaker 3: knowing how he can fire up Elsie because he had 117 00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 3: to do athletics because I was at dance rehearsal for 118 00:05:43,561 --> 00:05:47,521 Speaker 3: the concert, which is like eight till five, And I 119 00:05:47,561 --> 00:05:49,921 Speaker 3: assume that he didn't want to do that part of 120 00:05:49,961 --> 00:05:53,481 Speaker 3: the day because he's not hair and makeup qualified. 121 00:05:54,281 --> 00:05:56,761 Speaker 2: To remember, Jay, my husband had to get the girls 122 00:05:56,801 --> 00:06:01,041 Speaker 2: ready for the dance concept once and he googled how 123 00:06:01,121 --> 00:06:06,321 Speaker 2: to do their hair and ended up finding something on 124 00:06:06,361 --> 00:06:09,801 Speaker 2: Google that said use the vacuum cleaner, you know, the 125 00:06:10,001 --> 00:06:12,121 Speaker 2: like vacuum cleaner when you've got the small. 126 00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, you've got the real thin attachment. 127 00:06:14,201 --> 00:06:17,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, the thin one, so suck up the hair with 128 00:06:17,161 --> 00:06:19,561 Speaker 2: the vacuum cleaner and have the hairband on the end 129 00:06:19,801 --> 00:06:20,921 Speaker 2: and then just push it. 130 00:06:21,241 --> 00:06:24,921 Speaker 1: He did that, He didn't do that? Yeah? Did it work? Yes? 131 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,841 Speaker 3: No, I would never let someone go to my hair 132 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 3: with a vacuum cleaner. 133 00:06:28,961 --> 00:06:31,001 Speaker 2: I mean, how hard is it to a ponytail? Anyway, 134 00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:32,921 Speaker 2: It's like he had to do like a French. 135 00:06:32,841 --> 00:06:35,681 Speaker 1: Bloody no disrespect. But he is a dad brain, That's 136 00:06:35,681 --> 00:06:36,320 Speaker 1: all I'm saying. 137 00:06:37,361 --> 00:06:39,681 Speaker 3: So, yeah, I've got Sam on the phone who's messaging me, 138 00:06:39,761 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 3: getting angry at me because Elsie's not winning like she 139 00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 3: should be and. 140 00:06:43,561 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: He doesn't know how to fire her up. 141 00:06:45,521 --> 00:06:47,681 Speaker 3: Do you think that that is like a fair call 142 00:06:47,761 --> 00:06:49,721 Speaker 3: for one parent to message the other and go, I 143 00:06:49,721 --> 00:06:51,001 Speaker 3: don't know how to fire this kid up? 144 00:06:52,081 --> 00:06:53,041 Speaker 1: Why are you looking at me? 145 00:06:53,641 --> 00:06:57,281 Speaker 2: Sometimes I feel like it's okay to not reply because 146 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:02,601 Speaker 2: I sometimes I got a Texas morning saying Amelia is 147 00:07:02,681 --> 00:07:05,161 Speaker 2: driving me crazy, and I was at the gym and 148 00:07:05,241 --> 00:07:07,401 Speaker 2: I was like, what do you want me to reply 149 00:07:07,481 --> 00:07:07,681 Speaker 2: in that? 150 00:07:08,201 --> 00:07:08,801 Speaker 1: Work it out? 151 00:07:09,481 --> 00:07:11,321 Speaker 2: Work it out, like I know, we need to have 152 00:07:11,361 --> 00:07:12,521 Speaker 2: each other's back. 153 00:07:12,321 --> 00:07:13,361 Speaker 1: And we do. We do. 154 00:07:13,521 --> 00:07:15,121 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know what you want me to say, 155 00:07:15,161 --> 00:07:17,561 Speaker 2: and I thought to myself, I can either stress myself 156 00:07:17,561 --> 00:07:20,801 Speaker 2: out here and start replying, or I could enjoy what 157 00:07:20,881 --> 00:07:22,081 Speaker 2: I was doing at the gym. 158 00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:30,521 Speaker 3: Yep, So I tried that oestion too and continued enjoying 159 00:07:30,521 --> 00:07:33,081 Speaker 3: myself at the gym. You know what I did, which 160 00:07:33,121 --> 00:07:36,761 Speaker 3: you've just highlighted, is I went into the dive and 161 00:07:36,881 --> 00:07:41,361 Speaker 3: I was stressed because I was at dance rehearsals and. 162 00:07:41,321 --> 00:07:43,361 Speaker 1: We're in quick change, so lots is going on. 163 00:07:43,561 --> 00:07:47,241 Speaker 3: And Grace's always high of emotions if it's anything to 164 00:07:47,281 --> 00:07:50,001 Speaker 3: do with dance in general, so usually her and I 165 00:07:50,001 --> 00:07:52,561 Speaker 3: are trying to kill each other. But I went for 166 00:07:52,601 --> 00:07:54,201 Speaker 3: the dive and I was like, what do you want 167 00:07:54,201 --> 00:07:57,601 Speaker 3: from me right now? How do you suggest I help 168 00:07:57,681 --> 00:08:01,001 Speaker 3: you right now? When you're at athletics. I was like, also, sorry, 169 00:08:01,001 --> 00:08:05,241 Speaker 3: did you not have sixteen years of elite football, all 170 00:08:05,921 --> 00:08:06,721 Speaker 3: skills that. 171 00:08:06,681 --> 00:08:09,041 Speaker 1: You could somehow use to fire your child? 172 00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:10,241 Speaker 2: What did your coach say to you? 173 00:08:10,721 --> 00:08:13,641 Speaker 3: So did you play for the Brisbane Broncos or Australia? 174 00:08:13,921 --> 00:08:16,321 Speaker 3: How did you fire yourself up? Like? Try and use 175 00:08:16,401 --> 00:08:19,321 Speaker 3: that well, make it more child friendly and use that 176 00:08:19,441 --> 00:08:22,481 Speaker 3: to help her teach her show us some skills like, 177 00:08:22,561 --> 00:08:23,641 Speaker 3: that's what she wants to do. 178 00:08:23,681 --> 00:08:26,481 Speaker 1: She wants to learn from you. No text mom. I'll 179 00:08:26,561 --> 00:08:29,001 Speaker 1: text mom and tell her you're not what do you 180 00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:29,521 Speaker 1: want from me? 181 00:08:30,081 --> 00:08:33,481 Speaker 2: I think it's also okay to do. And I actually 182 00:08:33,521 --> 00:08:36,081 Speaker 2: think this is a really good line and this works 183 00:08:36,081 --> 00:08:41,201 Speaker 2: with kids husbands. It might be to go, how can 184 00:08:41,281 --> 00:08:43,561 Speaker 2: I help you in this situation? Yea, what do you 185 00:08:43,601 --> 00:08:44,961 Speaker 2: want me to do? What do you want from me? 186 00:08:45,361 --> 00:08:49,361 Speaker 2: My kids will say, you know, this has happened, or 187 00:08:49,721 --> 00:08:52,881 Speaker 2: my finger is hurting or whatever it might be, and 188 00:08:52,961 --> 00:08:55,441 Speaker 2: I go, Okay, what would you like me to do 189 00:08:55,521 --> 00:08:57,881 Speaker 2: about it? And often they'll go nothing, I just. 190 00:08:57,801 --> 00:08:59,561 Speaker 1: Needed to tell you. Yeah, I know. 191 00:08:59,681 --> 00:09:03,761 Speaker 3: I've actually just of recent started that with the girls 192 00:09:03,801 --> 00:09:07,161 Speaker 3: because I get these big stories and they're like they're long, 193 00:09:07,801 --> 00:09:09,721 Speaker 3: and we know, as mums you got lots to do, 194 00:09:09,801 --> 00:09:11,681 Speaker 3: so you're trying to stay engaged and you're trying to 195 00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,721 Speaker 3: stay there with them, and then we get right to 196 00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:15,321 Speaker 3: the end, and then I've missed the point of the 197 00:09:15,361 --> 00:09:18,561 Speaker 3: whole story. So then I get to the end and go, okay, 198 00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:20,921 Speaker 3: so how do you feel about that? And then they 199 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,441 Speaker 3: give me a little bit more of a spell, and 200 00:09:22,441 --> 00:09:25,401 Speaker 3: then I'm like, so, how can I help you, you know, 201 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:28,041 Speaker 3: push through this or you know, how do I help 202 00:09:28,081 --> 00:09:30,601 Speaker 3: you sort this out? Or like whatever, and they go, 203 00:09:30,681 --> 00:09:34,961 Speaker 3: I don't, I just we know you just listened. Okay, great, 204 00:09:35,161 --> 00:09:36,281 Speaker 3: all right, because. 205 00:09:36,081 --> 00:09:38,961 Speaker 2: Otherwise you get frustrated. We can get frustrated so often 206 00:09:39,281 --> 00:09:42,361 Speaker 2: with like if someone's you know, let's use to hurt 207 00:09:42,401 --> 00:09:47,361 Speaker 2: my finger thing, it's like like, come on, like really 208 00:09:47,521 --> 00:09:50,201 Speaker 2: that's a problem fing a big deal, like you know, 209 00:09:51,521 --> 00:09:53,921 Speaker 2: you know, And that's that's why I end up saying, 210 00:09:54,081 --> 00:09:57,401 Speaker 2: like there's this big drama about what would you like 211 00:09:57,401 --> 00:10:00,561 Speaker 2: me to do in that in this situation, because the 212 00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:04,041 Speaker 2: alternative and what I've done in the past is gone. 213 00:10:04,481 --> 00:10:07,681 Speaker 1: Okay, we'll do this and try this and yeah, this will. 214 00:10:07,601 --> 00:10:09,681 Speaker 2: Happen, and then you get all worked up in stress, 215 00:10:09,761 --> 00:10:11,521 Speaker 2: and what you really want to say is it's fucking 216 00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:12,321 Speaker 2: her finger. 217 00:10:12,681 --> 00:10:13,841 Speaker 1: Come on, suck it up. 218 00:10:15,001 --> 00:10:17,041 Speaker 3: You know. One thing just to wrat this up is 219 00:10:17,561 --> 00:10:21,041 Speaker 3: my nephew is three or three and a half nearly, you. 220 00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:22,241 Speaker 1: Know, like it's three and a half. 221 00:10:22,721 --> 00:10:26,121 Speaker 3: He's just hit that horrible, horrible three and a half 222 00:10:26,161 --> 00:10:29,201 Speaker 3: age which we've all been through or are going through, 223 00:10:29,881 --> 00:10:32,681 Speaker 3: and just on that, like, how can I help you? 224 00:10:32,961 --> 00:10:35,601 Speaker 1: I was a little bit hungover on the weekend, just. 225 00:10:35,521 --> 00:10:38,281 Speaker 3: To tad, and my brother came over with my nephew 226 00:10:38,401 --> 00:10:42,601 Speaker 3: and he had shit his pants and he decided to 227 00:10:42,681 --> 00:10:44,641 Speaker 3: then continue to try and jump all over me. 228 00:10:44,801 --> 00:10:46,881 Speaker 1: And I turned to my brother and was like. 229 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,841 Speaker 3: There's no way that I can help you with this, 230 00:10:50,001 --> 00:10:53,201 Speaker 3: and just handed his son back and was like, this 231 00:10:53,241 --> 00:10:55,081 Speaker 3: is your responsibility. 232 00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:56,401 Speaker 1: Here you go. And he's like, what do you want 233 00:10:56,441 --> 00:10:58,001 Speaker 1: me to do about it? I said, Ah, that is 234 00:10:58,041 --> 00:11:01,001 Speaker 1: not mine. I'm not even going to offer to help. 235 00:11:01,441 --> 00:11:03,721 Speaker 1: That's not mine. I've been there, I've done that. Oh, 236 00:11:03,721 --> 00:11:07,121 Speaker 1: it's your nephew too, take it away.