WEBVTT - Voice memo's are selfish!! 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:08.840 Hi everyone, it's a Chronic time. It is Monty and 0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:11.039 joffriend Brooke don. 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:15.920 Very nice, well done. And we did put a poll 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:19.040 up about didn't we and asked people if it was 0:00:19.079 --> 0:00:21.119 annoying having you see. 0:00:21.040 --> 0:00:25.319 And totally I believe it. I was because I'm done 0:00:25.600 --> 0:00:27.360 with doing it. But at the same time, I don't 0:00:27.360 --> 0:00:29.319 really know how to start it without singing now, because 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:32.080 I've been doing like a show and te podcast for 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:35.199 seven years now, icronic for however many months that I 0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:36.879 can't stop chalk. I'm sorry. 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:39.040 I don't find it annoying, so it's fine. 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:41.360 Apparently a couple of you do. So for those of 0:00:41.360 --> 0:00:42.919 you that do, I'm sorry because it would be so 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:45.680 fucking annoying. Just skip through the first ten seconds. 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:49.559 Yes, and speaking of annoying, there is something I've been 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:50.680 wanting to talk to you about. 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:53.000 Oh, here we go. I love that you wait to 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:56.160 use this as the forum to bring up so annoying. 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:59.120 Yes, and I know that people who are listening will 0:00:59.120 --> 0:01:02.280 be like either one side or the other. Yeah, but 0:01:02.920 --> 0:01:07.600 you have started doing something within our communication that has 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:11.120 surprised me. Oh what voice notes? 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:15.000 Oh yeah, I have a voice note. 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:18.039 I fte a voice note. 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:21.840 I know why the thing is that I need to 0:01:21.880 --> 0:01:24.319 communicate with you quite a lot. I don't want to 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:26.680 call you all the time. I hate calling, and you 0:01:26.720 --> 0:01:29.640 don't enjoy calling it either. So the way you and 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:34.800 I communicate via text, for some reason, really confuses each other, 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:38.520 like we're constantly like, what do you mean? What do 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:38.880 you mean? 0:01:39.319 --> 0:01:45.120 Confuse? Yes? And can I say that is because a 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:46.479 lot of what you say it doesn't not. 0:01:46.440 --> 0:01:49.480 Make I tend to not proofread, and then it goes 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:52.000 through to you and you have to decipher it. 0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:55.680 And also sometimes I think that you just automatically think 0:01:55.720 --> 0:01:58.760 I already know what is in your head. I think 0:01:58.800 --> 0:02:02.280 I do, what are you talking about? How do I 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:04.360 decipher whatever this means? 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:06.680 I feel like we're connected enough that you should know 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:08.480 what's going on in my head. But I agree, I 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:10.760 just I'm going to blame the ADHD. I just quickly 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:13.080 get it done, send it to you, okay, and you 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:16.640 have to decipher it. But it's easier to send you 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:19.880 a voice note and communicate that way, Like then I 0:02:19.919 --> 0:02:22.680 can get everything out. You can hear my inflections, so 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:25.640 there's nothing where I'm being shitty, and it just gets 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:28.240 it all out and I max out at three minutes, 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:30.639 just a quick little dip into your day to hear 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:31.280 what's going on. 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:34.840 But it's easier for who for you? But is it 0:02:34.880 --> 0:02:35.520 easier for me? 0:02:36.120 --> 0:02:36.160 No? 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:40.520 Because I have to be somewhere that is quiet so 0:02:40.600 --> 0:02:43.079 I can hear your voice message and then if there 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:45.560 are like points or things I need to do or 0:02:45.600 --> 0:02:47.760 take from that, I then have to write them down. 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:52.519 Yeah, and I none of that's my problem, like none 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:53.520 of us. 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:55.920 So this is what I'm trying to say. People who 0:02:56.000 --> 0:03:01.720 send voice notes are selfish. It's selfish. Really, yeah, could 0:03:01.800 --> 0:03:04.800 come at me. I don't care, even selfish. 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:06.960 I'm so sorry. I send them to everyone. We've got 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:08.960 to build the doing little things on our house at 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:11.000 the moment. And the other day I sent him one 0:03:11.080 --> 0:03:12.919 and I was like, this is a whole other step. 0:03:13.160 --> 0:03:17.160 That's to the build on, Matt, not on all right, 0:03:17.360 --> 0:03:19.600 the very ablest of you not to let me send 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:22.600 voice messages. It's too taxing for me to get on 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:25.040 the phone and call you. That's what the problem is. 0:03:25.600 --> 0:03:27.360 Anyway, God, okay, all. 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:30.560 Right, take it on. I'll take it. It probably won't change. 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:32.959 Or at least cap them at a minute. Don't send 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:35.840 me like a six minute one, because that's just rude. 0:03:36.120 --> 0:03:38.920 Good compromise. I will do that. I'll do that for 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:42.160 you anyway. It is brooken Monty. Now that she's got 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:45.000 the vent out of the way, this is our obviously 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:48.280 our iconic podcast where we chat about all things chronic 0:03:48.400 --> 0:03:51.920 health issues. Speaking is Monty, and I'm going to kick 0:03:51.960 --> 0:03:55.400 it off with chronic migraines', chronic fatigue, pots, m cass, 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:56.560 fuck knows what else. 0:03:56.760 --> 0:03:58.360 I don't even know what that is. Oh my god, 0:03:58.440 --> 0:03:59.360 stop adding to this. 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:03.360 I don't really know either. It's masked sal something. I'm 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:05.600 going to dive in one of these episodes to pots 0:04:05.600 --> 0:04:09.480 and mcass because they're becoming more and more stuff's being 0:04:09.560 --> 0:04:11.280 known about it, but I don't even know what they 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:11.840 stand for. 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:13.920 I just got them pots. Yeah, I feel like I'm 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:16.200 hearing a lot more about pots. Actually, I know Tiffany 0:04:16.240 --> 0:04:19.520 Hall has talked about having pots, and also I listened 0:04:19.560 --> 0:04:22.719 to the Messy podcast with Christina Applegate and her daughter 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:25.479 has pots, right, and she suspects that she has that 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:28.440 as well. Yeah, I'm hearing more and more about it, 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:30.160 but we'll delve more into it. 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:32.400 But go on, you offer up what you've got on. 0:04:32.320 --> 0:04:35.080 Your look, I'm just gonna go with MS, just the 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:38.200 good old MS. I feel like it trumps everything else. 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:41.080 So you've got so much other shit there. Let's just 0:04:41.120 --> 0:04:44.560 scurry their mess queen. Anyway, I wanted to just kick 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:47.080 off straight away. We've been getting so many messages from 0:04:47.080 --> 0:04:50.360 you guys, which honestly is just the best. And this 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:54.159 one's from ger Or Ger is her name. I don't 0:04:54.200 --> 0:04:58.560 know how to pronounce it gurr or girr. Okay, anyway, 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:02.880 thank you so much for in This is what she wrote. 0:05:03.560 --> 0:05:06.359 I just listened to the episode about chronic illness. It 0:05:06.480 --> 0:05:09.200 was so validating as someone who is chronically ill. I 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:12.560 felt every word in my heart. I am healing lyme disease. 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:15.120 I only recently found out it is in my body. 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:18.240 I don't say I have it. I'm not taking ownership 0:05:18.279 --> 0:05:20.880 of it. I've been on a sixteen year journey to 0:05:20.880 --> 0:05:23.000 get to this point of finding out what has actually 0:05:23.040 --> 0:05:28.480 caused the fibromyalgia, functional neurological disorder, the non epileptic seizures, 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:33.000 facial palsy, loss of speech, loss of use of my legs, etc. 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:33.680 Etc. 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:38.520 So thank you for being real and honest and brave 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:40.360 for sharing how hard it is to deal with chronic 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:44.360 illnesses that nobody understands unless you have it. This just 0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:46.880 I read this and it resonated to me because when 0:05:46.880 --> 0:05:49.320 you read sixteen years, I'm like, holy shit, that is 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:53.120 so long. And then I realized how long mine has 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:57.520 been going on for. And it's so confronting when you 0:05:57.640 --> 0:06:00.800 realize how long you've been living your life with something 0:06:00.839 --> 0:06:03.560 so chronic and just battling it, and then you end 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:05.760 up getting used to it being your life. 0:06:06.160 --> 0:06:08.279 Yeah, it just becomes part of who you are. 0:06:08.680 --> 0:06:12.400 Doesn't it. Because I first got sick when I went 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:15.440 Aubrey to do my radio apprenticeship I call it where 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:17.560 it was breakfast radio, and it was the first time 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:20.280 I moved away from home and I didn't want to go, 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:22.560 like it was the launch of my career, but I 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:26.040 didn't want to go. And the stress of it and 0:06:26.080 --> 0:06:29.600 the lack of sleep caused glandular fever, which then went 0:06:29.640 --> 0:06:32.560 into chronic fatigue. And that has been with me ever 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:35.280 since I was twenty two and I'm now forty three, 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:38.279 so a long time. And then I've had migraines since 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:40.840 I was eleven, on and off, so I'm like, fuck, 0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:44.479 it's majority of my life now that I have been 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:46.480 fighting something. 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:50.760 Yes, yep, constantly a challenge for you. More so probably 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:53.080 in the last five or six years. 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:56.279 Yeah, Like the fatigues always been hectic, but the last 0:06:56.440 --> 0:06:58.359 I would even say, the last year and a half 0:06:58.440 --> 0:07:00.839 is when the migraine's kicked up to a whole other gear. 0:07:01.279 --> 0:07:04.680 But yours is quite new, chalk, So is it almost 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.719 something that you're still getting used to. I don't know 0:07:07.720 --> 0:07:09.040 if you ever get used to it, but do you 0:07:09.120 --> 0:07:11.640 know what I mean, it's still a very new lifestyle 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:12.840 for you to be chronically ill. 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:16.960 Yeah, that's an interesting question. I feel, am I getting 0:07:17.040 --> 0:07:20.720 used to it? Yeah? I guess I am. I'm learning 0:07:20.920 --> 0:07:24.320 to listen to my body more. You know a lot 0:07:24.320 --> 0:07:26.120 of people say, oh, you've got to listen to your body, 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:29.040 and it's hard to know sometimes what that means. But 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:32.840 I feel like I finally understand what that means now, 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:36.760 so for me anyway, and so I feel like I'm 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:38.800 really in tune with my body and I know when 0:07:38.840 --> 0:07:42.320 something's not right. But look, I don't know, like it's 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:47.760 been a massive adjustment. But I'm also not the type 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:52.360 of person to dwell on it. I mean, certainly there 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:56.600 are times when I get down and it's frustrated, angry, 0:07:57.280 --> 0:07:59.800 but mostly I've just got to get on with it. 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:03.000 Get a new symptom and it's shit, and you might 0:08:03.040 --> 0:08:05.720 be upset for a little while, but then you've just 0:08:05.720 --> 0:08:07.920 got to get on with it and keep on moving. 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:11.920 Yeah, you're very much like that, I think a lot 0:08:11.960 --> 0:08:14.640 of I think more so now than ever, I feel 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:18.840 sad for myself. I feel sad for the girl who 0:08:18.920 --> 0:08:20.920 has missed out on so much or has had to 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:24.440 alter her life so much, like when I look, because 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:27.040 there's so much I can't do, and the way I 0:08:27.240 --> 0:08:29.960 parent is not how I thought I would parent, Like 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:32.839 I feel kinde Yeah, I feel really ripped off, if 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:33.640 I'm honest. 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:38.400 It's almost like you go through a process of grieving 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:41.640 your own life and what you used to do or 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:43.840 what you thought you were going to do and it 0:08:43.880 --> 0:08:47.560 hasn't turned out that way. And that's certainly the same 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:50.760 with me too, Like I thought that I would be 0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:54.320 able to be chasing my kids around all the time 0:08:54.480 --> 0:08:56.839 and going surfing with them and all those kinds of things, 0:08:56.880 --> 0:09:00.480 and it's just not a reality. Most of the time. Career, 0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:04.360 we've both had to really change our careers because we're 0:09:04.400 --> 0:09:06.200 not able to work in the same way that we 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:07.600 used to and that we want to. 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:10.880 It's not that long ago that for you where you 0:09:11.640 --> 0:09:14.280 can where you're like, oh, I'm not this person. I 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:17.000 mourn my old life where I remember for maybe the 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:19.520 first ten to fifteen years of me being unwell, I 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:21.800 was like, this is not me. I'm not this person, 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:23.559 Like I want to be the old me like I would. 0:09:23.760 --> 0:09:25.360 I think of when I was younger and I would 0:09:25.440 --> 0:09:27.880 go out to clubs until the sun came up and 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:31.320 just constantly be social. And that's so far from the 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:34.679 person I am now, So at some point it's clipped 0:09:34.720 --> 0:09:38.800 over where that old me is such a foreign version 0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:42.880 and I am now like identify so much with being 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:45.920 chronically ill, and I think with ger or Gur, I'm 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:49.720 so sorry where she said she's not taking ownership of 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:53.560 her lime disease and she's healing it. Really, when I 0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:55.840 read it, it was like something clicked where I was like, 0:09:56.600 --> 0:09:59.640 hold on, I've got to stop fighting against this, like 0:09:59.640 --> 0:10:03.000 a fight against my mental health and my physical health 0:10:03.040 --> 0:10:06.800 because I hate it so much that it's hard to 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:09.800 make I'm never gonna love it. But it's almost like 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:13.920 I need to somehow feel or do this radical acceptance 0:10:13.920 --> 0:10:17.000 of going, this is your life, fucking deal with it 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:19.800 and find the joy more and you don't have to 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:22.240 like it, but it is what it is. And with 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:26.439 each thing I do, I'm healing as opposed to the 0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:28.800 fuck is another thing. I'm trying. Like that's how I 0:10:28.880 --> 0:10:29.600 view everything. 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:32.760 Yeah, yeah, that's a really beautiful way to look at it, 0:10:32.800 --> 0:10:34.600 to be healing rather than fighting. 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:35.199 Yeah. 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:39.040 I don't really know how exactly lime disease works and 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:43.319 if you can heal and go into the remission type state. 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:44.440 I'm not from. 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:47.200 Chicks another episode we should do on this My only 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:48.319 reference of line. 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:52.319 I know what you to say your lander from the 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:53.800 House Rights of Beverly Hills. 0:10:53.960 --> 0:10:58.319 And also I think Selena Gomez or Justin Bebber one 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:02.080 of them had it did like I think, like it 0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:05.920 originates from a tick bite or something like that, and 0:11:05.960 --> 0:11:08.080 then it just reads havoc with your body. 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:11.000 Yes, but I don't know if you can heal it. 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:14.920 And maybe you can, and maybe that's the way she's 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:19.120 looking at it. I'm not sure. I guess I don't 0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:23.640 feel like that myself because I can't heal mys it's 0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:26.000 just that's just the way it's going to be. But 0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:29.800 if there was a chance I could, then perhaps that 0:11:29.840 --> 0:11:32.640 would be beneficial to use that language rather than fighting 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:33.880 it all. 0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:36.600 Because I feel like that's where obviously our situations are 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:39.719 so different. But I still feel like chronic migraine. I 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:42.160 will always have migraine, but I feel like I can 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:45.079 heal myself more than where I'm at now in terms 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:47.520 of I think I'll always have chronic fatigue. I think 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:49.760 I'll always have migraines, but I can heal myself a 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:52.080 lot to a much better place than I am. That's 0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:53.560 what keeps me going is having that. 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:56.160 I guess what is healing to you as well? Is 0:11:56.200 --> 0:12:00.559 it you still having because I'm just gonna tell people 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.160 that might not know, but cronic migraine is defined by 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:06.720 fifteen days or more in bed a month, So being 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:10.600 bedridden for fifteen days a month, which is huge. So 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:13.280 for anyone that thinks, oh, it's like a bad headache, 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:15.840 like chronic migraine is so not that, it is so 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:18.600 much more than that. When you talk about healing, are 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:22.240 you talking about you want to get less than fifteen days? 0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:22.880 Yeah? 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:25.240 Or you say I want to be able to find 0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:27.360 the joy even when it's shit. 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:30.679 I don't know how it would be possible to find 0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:33.160 the joy. I think there would need to be more acceptance. 0:12:33.280 --> 0:12:36.520 And so I have bursts where I have fifteen days, 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:39.679 I've had six weeks in bed. At the moment, I've 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:42.760 got something that's working, so I'm out of bed more 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:45.000 often than fifteen days. But I had a four day 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:48.080 bender the other day and I was really angry. I 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:50.240 was angry the whole time, and I was fighting it 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:52.640 and I was scared. I'm like, shit, it's back full time. 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:55.280 I'm going to have to go into hospital. I think 0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:57.400 when those kind of things come up, I need to 0:12:57.440 --> 0:12:59.600 be more accepting and go these happen. These are a 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:01.640 part of life. You might be out for four to 0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:04.600 five days now, so just surrender to it. I find 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:07.640 it really hard to surrender. But in healing, I also 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:09.760 want to get the duration of stuff down. I want 0:13:09.760 --> 0:13:12.760 to get longer out of my day by midday I 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:15.360 need to lay down with chronic fatigue, like I want 0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:19.720 to get more slabs of time where I'm well. 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:22.880 Yeap, yeah, I think that's a good goal to walk 0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:24.120 to work towards. 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:28.040 So in terms of the fact that you can't heal 0:13:28.520 --> 0:13:32.640 or get rid of MS? How do you compartmentalize? This 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:35.520 is what I find incredible about you is you're like, 0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:37.400 I'm just going to get on with it. Do you 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:39.760 think because it is black and white in terms of 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:42.480 you can't get rid of it, that you have to 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:44.920 accept it more? Possibly? 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:50.800 Actually, Yeah, because I am a real doer and I 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:54.280 am a solutions driven person. So if I knew I 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:57.240 had something that I could fix, I would do everything 0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:00.480 in my power to fix it. But I know that 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:02.760 I can't do that. But I can do things to 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:07.400 make my life and my day easier. So I still 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:10.520 I'm into anything the healing, and we've talked about all 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:12.920 the loose stuff that I love. I do all of 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:16.560 those things to help myself and to put myself in 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:19.120 the best fighting position. Like I go to my strength 0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:22.000 classes three times a week. I try and eat the 0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:25.200 right foods, do all those things I can to keep 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:28.920 the inflammation in my body low. But I can't fix it. 0:14:29.080 --> 0:14:33.440 So I think from pretty much, I would say straight away, 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:36.080 after I had a few days or a week to 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:40.520 digest what had happened, I just went into this is 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:44.840 my life mode. Yeah, Yeah, it's pretty amazing. 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:48.040 We do have another message from one of you, Courtney, 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:49.760 thanks for sending this in and you can send us 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:53.600 anything at any time, any comments, any questions, voice memos. 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:56.040 We love Show and Tell podcasts. Is where you find 0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:58.760 us on Instagram. Even though I did just fully can 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:00.000 the oh. 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:02.880 It is so fine to do it in this context 0:15:02.960 --> 0:15:04.520 because it isn't welcoming. 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:05.880 That's not welcoming at all. 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:09.440 But in this context it's different because it is so nice. 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:11.640 Like when I heard Courtney's voice note, and there's been 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:14.360 other people that have sent voice notes, it's so beautiful 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:16.280 and I feel like I can connect with there on 0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:19.280 a different level totally with voice notes, whereas I connect 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:21.200 with you anyway. So whatever, I don't send you a 0:15:21.280 --> 0:15:21.800 voice note. 0:15:21.920 --> 0:15:24.160 Here we go again. Okay, here's caught Iny's message. 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:29.240 I'm only part of the way through today's app, but 0:15:29.560 --> 0:15:32.560 I thought I drop your voice note because you love them. 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:38.160 And share some wisdom from my specialist who said to 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:41.240 me that most people who live with chronic illness and 0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:47.640 autoimmune disease are overachievers. He actually calls it the overachievers 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:52.520 disease because we put our bodies and our minds on 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:57.120 a level of stress that other people may not, and 0:15:57.160 --> 0:16:01.760 we're really bad being sick. We continually push ourselves and 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:04.000 so that's something that we all really need to be 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:07.960 mindful of and treat ourselves with more kindness through the 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:09.040 hell's journey. 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:13.160 I think that's so interesting, isn't it? 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:17.080 Again? I was like, Oh God, because we've talked about before, 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:22.040 how you know so many people view the word ambitious dirty. 0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:24.960 If there was three words we could use to sum 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:26.760 up you, and I took it, one of them would 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:29.720 be ambitious. Like we've always had goals with like you, 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:32.640 I'm like often say you're a dog at a bone 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:35.840 with stuff. What we want to guess? Brooke will fucking 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:39.120 message the manager sixty four times to get that guest on. Yeah. 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:42.520 I have that in me a bit for sure. I 0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:44.240 think a lot of people that I've worked with would 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:50.360 probably say I'm a very nice, fair person manager, but 0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:53.000 also like I will get shit done and I will 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:56.720 make it happen. That's definitely my personality. And this is 0:16:56.800 --> 0:17:00.880 interesting because I have heard a lot about high achievers 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:05.280 but also people who were perfectionists and how that can 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:09.160 lead to chronic illness because you put so much pressure 0:17:09.200 --> 0:17:13.280 on yourself and you take on so much stress, but 0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:16.960 because you have this whole kind of demeanor of perfectionism, 0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:18.960 you don't want anyone to know when you're stressed or 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:21.600 you're weak, so you don't take the days off and 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:23.760 you don't do those kinds of things. Do you reckon 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:27.720 the people you do? Yeah? Look, I would say one 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:32.040 hundred percent, not anymore, not at all. I have slowed 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:35.720 down a ridiculous amount and I'm so much happier for 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:39.359 having done that. But yeah, possibly, I think it's also 0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:41.440 would you say you're a taybe a personality? 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:45.160 So can you explain the personalities? Again? I always get confused. 0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:48.720 So taybe A is like perfectionist. You can be a 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:53.480 bit of a control freak, ambitious, driven, know what you want, 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:55.720 that kind of personality. 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:56.840 Would you say that down? 0:17:57.160 --> 0:17:59.240 Yeah, I would say that's you part of me. 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:01.800 I don't know about the perfectionist thing. I think a 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:05.040 lot for me is get it done, and it's often wrong, 0:18:05.160 --> 0:18:08.000 Like the other day, like I'm the one who posts 0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:11.200 our stuff on social and I fuck up constantly because 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:13.800 I put it up and I'm like, oh god, and 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:16.480 then I'll post another one and not realize my brain 0:18:16.640 --> 0:18:20.080 works at such a crazy speed that I make mistakes 0:18:20.280 --> 0:18:22.280 so often, so I don't know if I'm a perfectionist, 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:25.240 But then I get down on myself for making those mistakes, 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:27.640 So I guess that is a perfectionist kind of I think. 0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:29.560 So I would say you are a bit. Yeah, I 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:31.720 would say we both are quite a bit. But I 0:18:31.720 --> 0:18:34.560 think that's different because that's a big part of that's 0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:38.440 your career side of things. Yeah, I think from a 0:18:38.520 --> 0:18:42.200 personal life point of view, I've really let that go. 0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:44.760 But I think I was in the past, but I've 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:48.480 really succumbed to that because just by the nature of 0:18:48.560 --> 0:18:51.679 this podcast and us talking about Connie Gilness, it's not perfect. 0:18:51.720 --> 0:18:56.720 It's completely messy. And I think because at first, well, 0:18:56.760 --> 0:18:59.800 I tried to still work full time and do all 0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:03.560 the thing things because I wanted to still I didn't 0:19:03.600 --> 0:19:06.240 want to be weak or be perceived as being weak. 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:09.639 But in the end I couldn't do that, and I 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:12.320 think that's been good for me in a sense, just 0:19:12.359 --> 0:19:15.960 to let my guard down a bit and not care, 0:19:16.119 --> 0:19:18.560 like I don't care what people think. 0:19:19.080 --> 0:19:23.520 I feel like you with this have almost like you've 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:26.800 always been like this, But I feel like this has 0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:31.200 made you so much stronger, and I'm going to get emotional, 0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:37.720 but I just like I admire how you just get 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:40.440 shited done. You know that you have had to alter 0:19:40.520 --> 0:19:44.320 your life in ways that you never thought imaginable, and 0:19:44.359 --> 0:19:49.880 your strength is fucking phenomenal, chick, It's just unbelievable, really, 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:53.080 And I just I envy you because I don't. 0:19:52.880 --> 0:19:53.560 Feel like that. 0:19:53.680 --> 0:19:55.560 I feel like you're the one out of the two 0:19:55.600 --> 0:19:58.200 of us that lifts us up and we can get 0:19:58.240 --> 0:20:00.840 on with this, We can do this anyway. 0:20:01.119 --> 0:20:05.480 I just I likewise think that you're amazing in the 0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:08.480