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Speaker 1: This is the Fitting In with Kate Richie podcast.

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Speaker 2: I got a personal one here fits really tricky situation.

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Speaker 2: Friend of mine, let's call it Claire. Claire has been

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Speaker 2: on the dating scene for quite a while, tried a

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Speaker 2: couple of the apps and not a lot of luck. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: in recent times through some mutual friends, meets a guy

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Speaker 2: out and about his name is let's call him Kevin.

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Speaker 2: So Claire and Kevin and they have been dating, I

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Speaker 2: would say, or in the early stages of dating for

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Speaker 2: about three.

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Speaker 1: To four weeks.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so that's a good start and things are going

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Speaker 2: really well.

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Speaker 1: Then there's the next step in the relationship. Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: all know that next minute.

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Speaker 2: Where he says, Claire, maybe you should meet my family.

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Speaker 2: Everyone's a little bit nervous about that because it's kind

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Speaker 2: of like pulling back the curtain, isn't it.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, seeing what's behind.

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Speaker 3: You're cementing the relationship. That's a huge step. You're pretty

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Speaker 3: keen to maybe take it to the next level.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because you're saying to the family, here's someone I've

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Speaker 2: chosen and I'm not going to introduce them unless they

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Speaker 2: are considered a possibility all time, and someone who I

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Speaker 2: think the family would like anyway.

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Speaker 1: So they go over. It's Sunday Rice classic stuff. Great

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Speaker 1: to meet you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, Claire. Sorry.

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Speaker 2: Kevin then gets a phone call that night. So they've

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Speaker 2: had lunch that night, probably four hours after lunch and

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Speaker 2: they've left, gets a phone call from Kevin's mum who

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Speaker 2: rings and just says, you can do better than that. Now,

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Speaker 2: Kevin and Claire have been dating for a while and

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Speaker 2: from his own mum, he is from his own mum

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Speaker 2: who called and said, you can do better than that,

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Speaker 2: And that would just be heartbreaking because maybe you're completely

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Speaker 2: in love with girl and you see a future. And secondly,

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Speaker 2: you're insulting my judgment as well. And this happens in

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Speaker 2: families where people then go, well, I need to make

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Speaker 2: a decision. Am I going to push my family away

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Speaker 2: because I'm in love and my gut says I'm over here?

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Speaker 1: Or is blood thicker than water?

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Speaker 2: And you stay with your family because mum's been right

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Speaker 2: and knows best because that's what you brought up to believe.

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Speaker 3: So did Lisa blow up?

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Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no no sorry.

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Speaker 1: No situation, just a friend of mine.

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Speaker 2: I'm not suggesting that I'm just friends, forteen years down

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Speaker 2: the track of marriage and mum's decided to say Lisia

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Speaker 2: is not good enough.

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Speaker 1: He could have told me earlier. Got three kids with

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Speaker 1: her mum. So what would you do?

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Speaker 2: And have you been in a situation like this where

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Speaker 2: the family has said not good enough or I don't

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Speaker 2: think it's the right way forward. It happened to some

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Speaker 2: other friends of ours where he said to the daughter.

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Speaker 2: Dad said to the daughter, he will never.

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Speaker 3: Grow with you.

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Speaker 2: That's how he worded it. He'll never grow with you, darling.

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Speaker 2: And she chose to still marry him and he's.

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Speaker 1: A bit of a drip. But that's okay. These things happen,

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Speaker 1: Felicity in North Sydney. What did you want to say? Fits?

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Speaker 4: No, I was going to say, every family is protective

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Speaker 4: and it's very It takes a while to get the.

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Speaker 3: Trust from a family.

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Speaker 4: So you've got to push through that initial sort of response,

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Speaker 4: don't it?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: You do, you do, Felicity? Is it okay for a

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Speaker 2: mother to intervene like this?

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Speaker 5: Hi, guys, well, I think initially, I think an opinion

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Speaker 5: is a good thing. This happened with my husband and

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Speaker 5: I and it was his mom, not so keen on

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Speaker 5: me to begin with, and then he said, you know, sorry, Mum,

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Speaker 5: I'm just going to push on and give it a

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Speaker 5: bit more time. And thankfully he did, because we've been

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Speaker 5: made twenty years.

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Speaker 1: Now, right, Okay, So he pushed.

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Speaker 5: Through it, push through it, and now the mother in

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Speaker 5: law and I are super close and it's all worked

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Speaker 5: out really well.

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Speaker 2: What about the one, Felicity, because this happened to me too.

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Speaker 2: I was dating a girl for a while and then

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Speaker 2: we broke up, and then both my mother and two

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Speaker 2: sisters said we never liked her anyway, and so they

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Speaker 2: held back on hot telling me during the relationship and

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Speaker 2: just hoping that it wouldn't go anywhere you.

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Speaker 3: Need to do. But I agree with their decision. You

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Speaker 3: need to work that out for yourself.

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Speaker 4: I don't think family members should be getting involved.

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Speaker 3: I don't think no.

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Speaker 4: Mom and dad always all right with your very protect,

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Speaker 4: very protective early on BJ, it took BJ quite a

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Speaker 4: while to earn their trust. And like Felicity just said,

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Speaker 4: my mum and BJ now are best mates. They do

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Speaker 4: they do stuff with each other every single day now.

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Speaker 4: But it took what Dad was more protective than mum,

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Speaker 4: but they never said anything to me because they knew

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Speaker 4: that I had to work it out.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's true, Lena, welcome to the show. It's good involved, Lena.

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Speaker 6: So it's actually the officer. I'm not for the parents

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Speaker 6: getting involved. I think they've got to figure it out

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Speaker 6: her own. But my I actually started speaking to a

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Speaker 6: guy she was a bit hesitant about. But my mum

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Speaker 6: actually put her input and said, you know, I think

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Speaker 6: this is really good and pass forward five years later

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Speaker 6: they're still married, expecting their first child.

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Speaker 1: That's good, is Elena?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I quite like that.

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Speaker 3: So Elena, that that's great advice from mom.

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Speaker 4: I mean, it's you know, it's not it's usually they're

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Speaker 4: being protective of you and they're being negative about someone

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Speaker 4: that you've just met.

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Speaker 3: But if she's just gone, I really like this guy.

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Speaker 3: Stick with it. That's great.

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Speaker 5: Remember to stick through.

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Speaker 6: Go through all the troubles and stuff of a relationship,

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Speaker 6: and five years later worked out amazingly.

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Speaker 1: Tall We remember what your dad said to you?

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Speaker 3: Oh what did my dad definitely say to me.

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Speaker 1: You're a bit of a basic kid and she's into you.

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Speaker 1: Hang on to it.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, hang on to it. Yeah she did.

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Speaker 4: The pro would say that Brian would never get involved,

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Speaker 4: did he get involved with continue doing it for quite

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Speaker 4: a while, where your parents sort of saying to you,

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Speaker 4: to me, maybe make a move within and we really

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Speaker 4: like it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, moment mine were fine.

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Speaker 2: Her parents were a bit cautious of me because they

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Speaker 2: said I was suspiciously nice.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, suspiciously nice. I would agree with that. Yeah, they

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Speaker 1: thought there was something untoward.

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Speaker 2: You're the kind of guy who is ninety nine point

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Speaker 2: nine percent of the time perfect until he turns up

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Speaker 2: to work with an M sixteen.

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Speaker 4: You're that kind of It's like he's too nice and

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Speaker 4: there's got to be bodies buried somewhere. And there was

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Speaker 4: Victoria in Bourel. Tell us about your brothers, Vic, Yeah, look.

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Speaker 5: I think it was a good intentions, I believe, but

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Speaker 5: they just really heavily do not like my partner.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, I.

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Speaker 7: Like my older brother's dealing with it. But my younger brother,

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Speaker 7: every time I see him, it's always like last he

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Speaker 7: broke up, broke up, And I was like, why do

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Speaker 7: you ask? He just goes, oh, you could do better,

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Speaker 7: all right, what's better?

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Speaker 1: Protective?

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Speaker 4: You see, that's protective brothers. They shouldn't they should not

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Speaker 4: be getting involved.

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Speaker 3: So can you?

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Speaker 4: So can your boyfriend socialize with him at all or

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Speaker 4: not at all?

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Speaker 3: Victoria?

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Speaker 2: Oh he does, it just goes.

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Speaker 5: It's really awkward.

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Speaker 2: So thank you, Vick, appreciate the coronet and greenacre. What's

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Speaker 2: your situation?

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Speaker 7: Mother in laws? That's all I have to say. Toxic

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Speaker 7: mother in law's yes, Yet my mother in law does

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Speaker 7: not like me. My partner and I have been together

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Speaker 7: nearly ten years, and my god, the things that she

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Speaker 7: had started. She told my partner that I'm choosing to

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Speaker 7: be with him and I'm the one that's making the

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Speaker 7: decision to stay with him. Told my partner I'm not

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Speaker 7: good enough for him, told my partner and I that

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Speaker 7: I am not allowed to be pregnant next month in

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Speaker 7: July when her wedding is going to be and she

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Speaker 7: doesn't want the limelight on me. My partner and I

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Speaker 7: get married next month. She has removed herself from our wedding.

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Speaker 7: I hear our wedding is going to be too much

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Speaker 7: attention on her.

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Speaker 3: Give me.

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Speaker 1: She's a stinker.

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Speaker 4: Does your your your bloke he understands that.

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Speaker 3: Does he see where you're coming from? He backs you up.

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Speaker 7: I am one hundred percent blessed that I have the

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Speaker 7: best partner and she through it all, and unfortunately they

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Speaker 7: haven't spoken since January because of her own decisions. And

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Speaker 7: like I said, we're getting married next month, so this

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Speaker 7: is going to continue.

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Speaker 1: Rene.

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Speaker 2: That's really hard. I feel for you. It's hard for

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Speaker 2: you and for your husband.

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Speaker 7: Yeah. Yeah, that's her loss. Yeah, yeah, exactly exactly. And

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Speaker 7: she's going to miss out on the grandkids relationship.

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Speaker 1: That crazy fol She comes to her senses.

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Speaker 7: Renee hopefully, but I doubt it.

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Speaker 1: Tommy. I feel for a name. We've got to, like

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Speaker 1: a trading toilet paper or chicken.

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Speaker 3: I don't think chicken is not going to help. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: why don't we do?

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Speaker 4: Oh this is nice pathology?

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Speaker 3: No, we can do.

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Speaker 2: Why we do a pair of Specs Savers frames with

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Speaker 2: any lens options valued up to four hundred dollars.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, give it to your mother in law. Tell her

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Speaker 1: to get a new outlook on life.

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Speaker 6: I love that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, should have gone to spect So say that to

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Speaker 4: your partner, what's wrong?

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Speaker 3: What's up with your mum? Should have gone to Specs?

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Speaker 1: That good luck with everything, good luck for the wedding.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, I love you, and I'm going to.

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Speaker 4: Miss you don't do that because she doesn't have a

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Speaker 4: mother in law.

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Speaker 7: Mate, bye bye.

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Speaker 2: She's having a tough time, so I can't hugger over

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Speaker 2: the radio because huggs don't make sounds, so giving a

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Speaker 2: little quick So.

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Speaker 3: How many like, I mean, how many people? What did

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Speaker 3: you have to change in that story? When it's in?

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Speaker 2: Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast walk great

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Speaker 2: shows like this. Download the Nova Player via the App

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Speaker 2: Store or Google Play.

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Speaker 6: The