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Speaker 1: Apodjeke Production.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode of Am I A Bad Mom?

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Speaker 1: Podcast?

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Speaker 2: That's the question we constantly ask, am I a bad mum?

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Speaker 2: Sometimes we are and sometimes we're not.

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Speaker 1: I have great days and I have shitty days. That's okay.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, as long as there's some good ones in between,

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Speaker 3: that's all that matters.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it does baffle me. I know I say this

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Speaker 2: all the time, but there's no kind of like training

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Speaker 2: course or anything like that you have to go, and

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Speaker 2: you don't even have to like do an online read this.

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Speaker 2: Think about the amount of fucking up our kids we

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Speaker 2: do and have done over the years, like our parents.

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Speaker 2: And when you look into trauma and whenever you go

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Speaker 2: to see a counselor it's from stuff that your parents

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Speaker 2: have passed on. Usually Yeah, and we're still doing that

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Speaker 2: to our kids. So at what point are they going

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Speaker 2: to go, Okay, let's start trading pairents.

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Speaker 1: Well, let's just filter through. You can have one, you can't,

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Speaker 1: you can have one, you can't, you can have one.

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Speaker 1: It's like a process of elimination.

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Speaker 3: I was twenty eight, twenty seven, twenty eight when I

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Speaker 3: had our first so that I would have been considered

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Speaker 3: like back in the day up late moum oh. Do

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Speaker 3: you think back in the day whenever I was having them,

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Speaker 3: like suep Like my mom had her first child when

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Speaker 3: she was eighteen or nineteen.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, yeah, But then I would say twenty seven,

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Speaker 2: twenty eight these days is.

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Speaker 1: Young young, yeah, I know. And I was twenty five

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Speaker 1: and I feel like that was young. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But then I've got friends these days. I've got a

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Speaker 2: friend who is a year older than me, So she's

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Speaker 2: forty ish forty ish forty two and has a two

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Speaker 2: year old. So she had a baby at forty Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Some people choose to do that. Geez, I think that

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Speaker 1: would be exhausting. I just think of my body.

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Speaker 3: Actually, I just remember the impact that my body took.

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Speaker 3: And I was what twenty eight and thirty when I

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Speaker 3: had the girls, My hips everything was just like WHOA wrecked.

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Speaker 2: Over the years, I've definitely had my kids go why

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Speaker 2: is your tummy like that?

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Speaker 1: Why is it?

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Speaker 2: I'm like, it's you, It's your fault.

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Speaker 1: I get that a lot.

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Speaker 3: It's gone from being you know, like fun and cute

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Speaker 3: when they're younger and they have a shower with you,

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Speaker 3: and it's like fun and cute and they go like, oh, mommy,

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Speaker 3: why does your JJ look like that?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 2: What's the string hanging? O?

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Speaker 3: What?

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Speaker 1: Why are you taking so long in the toilet?

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Speaker 3: All of those funny, like little quirky things that they

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Speaker 3: used to say when they were little. And then now

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Speaker 3: I will be having a shower and they'll come down

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Speaker 3: because it's the time that you talk to mum. Right

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Speaker 3: for our household is like Mum's in the shower, quick,

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Speaker 3: she's locked in a small cube space. I need to

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Speaker 3: talk to her now now. With their ages, they sorted

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Speaker 3: don't look at you fun and inquisitively. They look at

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Speaker 3: you like they're almost like analyzing every inch of your body,

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Speaker 3: to the point that I feel like you're like, what

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Speaker 3: are you staring at?

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Speaker 1: Are you good?

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Speaker 3: You sort of start questioning like what's wrong?

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Speaker 1: Is my boop hanging lower than the other?

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Speaker 3: Like, and I'm standing there just genuinely looking around for

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Speaker 3: what's wrong, rather than it being fun and inquisitive anymore.

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Speaker 2: Rice, This is what I tell you about teenagers. This

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Speaker 2: is the transition period you're going through at the moment

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Speaker 2: from kids to teenagers, and your self esteem will slowly

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Speaker 2: get lower and lower and less and less, and you'll

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Speaker 2: feel more shit about yourself, to the point where they

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Speaker 2: will walk out one day and go, what the fuck

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Speaker 2: are you wearing? And you'll cry, am I about Mum

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Speaker 2: for leaving them to it?

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Speaker 1: Leaving them to it?

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Speaker 2: I mean a real cool today.

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Speaker 1: Just really, what you think? I'm in a pickle today

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Speaker 1: and I really don't know what to do about it. Well,

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Speaker 1: what do you want me to do?

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Speaker 2: I don't think I've said I'm in a pickle for years.

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Speaker 1: That language come from. I'm in a real pickle.

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Speaker 2: Today, Pip, Pip, tell you how if we go.

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Speaker 1: I really don't know. I don't know what. I really

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Speaker 1: just don't know. I don't know if I'm a pickle

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Speaker 1: or in a pickle or.

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Speaker 3: So.

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Speaker 2: This wasn't going to be the topic of conversation, but

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Speaker 2: this is relevant for right now, right because we are

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Speaker 2: about to get a cyclone.

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Speaker 1: Apparently apparently they reckon.

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Speaker 2: It's the first time in fifty years or something cyclone

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Speaker 2: has hit the city and it hasn't just been offshore,

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Speaker 2: and so there's all this hype around it. This morning,

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Speaker 2: Worths had no bottled water or toilet paper left.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh God, it's giving real covies here

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Speaker 1: it is.

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Speaker 2: But it's the not knowing, right because I remember this

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Speaker 2: happened a while ago, a few years ago, and there

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Speaker 2: was an email from the school and it said, come

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Speaker 2: and get the kids. We're closing the school. Big storm coming.

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Speaker 2: You know, everybody stay safe, shut your doors, window And

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Speaker 2: I remember picking the kids up from school and we

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Speaker 2: were driving home and I looked up and it was

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Speaker 2: blue skies, sunshine, not a breeze in the air, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, what.

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Speaker 1: Are we doing? What is all this hype about?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I get it, And it was a nothing event,

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Speaker 2: nothing happened.

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Speaker 1: However, you just.

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Speaker 2: Don't know because everyone's saying we're going to lose power.

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Speaker 2: Make sure you've got batteries and.

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Speaker 1: Your torches and charged, and.

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Speaker 2: You've got charge enough food, and they're talking about getting

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Speaker 2: sandbags because it's gonna flood and all the rest of it. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: that's what's happening right now. Okay, let's go back six

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Speaker 2: months when I find out that the girls are doing

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Speaker 2: a hospitality course up in NUSA for three nights. They're

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Speaker 2: going to be away for three nights. They're not going

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Speaker 2: to need us, and so Jay and I got super

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Speaker 2: excited and went, oh, my.

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Speaker 1: Goodness, what should we do? Let's go to Fiji? Yeah

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Speaker 1: for three nights. Perfect.

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Speaker 2: We had up until Sunday night at midnight for free cancelation.

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Speaker 2: Monday morning, the nooser trip for the girls is canceled.

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Speaker 1: So they're not going now.

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Speaker 3: No, so are canceled because of the cyclone that's coming.

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Speaker 1: It's meant to me this week.

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Speaker 3: By next week it's new news, Like what what?

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Speaker 1: This is crazy? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Anyway, they're crossing the t's dotting the eyes, making sure

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Speaker 2: everybody's safe, and they've canceled the trip. So like, okay,

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Speaker 2: well that's okay. My girls are sixteen, they'll figure something out.

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Speaker 2: They can be home, they can have a friend over,

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Speaker 2: they can they can get to and from. Yeah, look

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Speaker 2: like school's probably going to be closed too. And so

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Speaker 2: now in my mind, rate is I'm like, first of all,

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Speaker 2: do I want to fly to Fiji in a cyclone?

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Speaker 2: And secondly do I want to leave my kids? Who, yes,

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Speaker 2: they're sixteen and can look after themselves, But still do

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Speaker 2: I want to leave them.

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Speaker 1: In a cyclone? In a cyclone I think.

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Speaker 2: Where they might have no power, there may be some flooding.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like I think that you're putting them up again

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Speaker 3: some tough odds by themselves.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So I mean, I'm just saying, like if it does

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Speaker 3: really come to fruition of what they're saying, like, I'm

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Speaker 3: just saying this because we've been through it a few

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Speaker 3: times growing up in Townsville.

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Speaker 1: Like we've gone through this cycle of go.

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Speaker 3: The shops by everything, come home, no cyclone or you know,

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Speaker 3: go the shops, don't have anything, come home, just go

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Speaker 3: through the cyclone and then everything's back to normal the

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Speaker 3: next day. Obviously a few more trees down, a few

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Speaker 3: things you have to clean up, and all the rest.

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Speaker 1: But it was like we.

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Speaker 3: Went through I think it was a Cat three and

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Speaker 3: a Cat four.

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Speaker 1: One of them was super spicy.

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Speaker 3: It was just like felt like when it had finished,

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Speaker 3: like everything sort of went back to normal, Which is

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Speaker 3: why I'm saying like this is very relevant definitely, But

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Speaker 3: why are we canceling next week?

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Speaker 1: I thought it was just this week, like I thought

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Speaker 1: it was well.

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Speaker 2: And I also feel like they don't know very much,

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Speaker 2: so they're going, Okay, so by Thursday afternoon, it's going

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Speaker 2: to turn.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, how do you know what's going to turn? Hey,

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Speaker 1: Afrid's going to turn? What if he changes his mind.

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Speaker 1: What if he goes the other way.

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Speaker 3: I had another friend saying the same thing, Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 3: I'm booked to go to.

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Speaker 1: Melbourne and booked to go to Melbourne on the day

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Speaker 1: that the.

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Speaker 3: Cyclone's meant to hear it. And I was like, well,

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Speaker 3: just change it and go the night before. You have

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Speaker 3: like twenty minutes of bumps going out, but you'll be

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Speaker 3: fine after that.

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Speaker 1: Same with you, kd just get on a plane.

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Speaker 3: I think by the time you're getting on a plane,

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Speaker 3: I think we're going to be through quite the thick

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Speaker 3: of it. And I think, if I'm really gauging right,

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Speaker 3: and I'm hoping, I am gunning towards it, next week

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Speaker 3: school will be back.

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Speaker 2: This was going to be a topic for the podcast anyway,

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Speaker 2: before I knew about the cyclone.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is just an ad blone.

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Speaker 2: And before I got into a pickle, because it wasn't

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Speaker 2: a pickle beforehand. The only pickle was my kids going,

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Speaker 2: why you have to go away somewhere. Every time we're

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Speaker 2: going to be away, all our friends are like, your

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Speaker 2: parents are going to Fiji. I'm like, your friends don't

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Speaker 2: understand how it was having kids for sixteen years with

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Speaker 2: no family around and no one to have you. Guys,

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Speaker 2: we took you on our freaking honeymoon and now you're

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Speaker 2: having a gun and shaving me.

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Speaker 3: Just don't judge me. Judgment judgment free zone, bro. Just

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Speaker 3: go off to your thing, be quiet, and go back

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Speaker 3: to school.

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Speaker 1: And especially if.

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Speaker 2: I get on the plane and there's like the cyclone's

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Speaker 2: hit there's a blackout, it's.

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Speaker 1: Going to be done.

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Speaker 3: All I'm saying is by the time I think the

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Speaker 3: anticipation obviously, yes, I absolutely am not taking away from

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Speaker 3: everything that you're feeling right now about the possibility of

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Speaker 3: leaving a kids home in a cyclone all the rest,

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Speaker 3: I get it.

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Speaker 1: I'm not taking away from that.

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Speaker 3: But I'm saying that I think that the heat of

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Speaker 3: it is going to be here and Fiji's over here, okay.

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Speaker 1: And it's resilience. Yeah, it's resilience. I mean, what is resilient.

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Speaker 2: Mum left us at home on our own cyclone we

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Speaker 2: had no power and it flooded.

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Speaker 3: It'll definitely show up things that you might need to

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Speaker 3: work on later on in life about resilience building.

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Speaker 2: And then off we go to Fiji.

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Speaker 1: Might, yeah, I might come to Fiji.

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Speaker 3: I mean I'd rather have people waiting on me and

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Speaker 3: for three days than being here in this cyclonic bullshit.

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Speaker 3: Just wrapping up with this though, like, let's do a pole.

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Speaker 3: Do you think I've got enough life saving storage of food,

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Speaker 3: toilet paper, and water and milk in my house still?

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Speaker 1: Are you asking? You're answering my pole?

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Speaker 3: Yes? No, none, No, I'll get a few bottles of champagne.

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Speaker 1: Put them in that they can eat eggs.

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Speaker 2: I got eggs, eggs, and champagne.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna have a party, girls, Zo