WEBVTT - #2100 Bridging The 'You' Gap - Harps 0:00:00.680 --> 0:00:04.360 Hello, t yp family. I hope you're good. I think 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:10.200 this might be my first solo for the year. Now 0:00:10.880 --> 0:00:15.160 that could be good or bad depending on your predilection. 0:00:15.400 --> 0:00:20.759 Is that the word preference? Anyway? So I want to 0:00:20.840 --> 0:00:24.720 talk to you about a thing that I call the 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:29.040 U gap. And the U gap just means on planet 0:00:29.080 --> 0:00:33.920 Crag anyway. It means the space between the metaphoric or 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:38.120 literal space in some senses, between where you are now 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:42.400 listening to this and where you want to be. So, 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:47.600 where am I, say, physically or mentally, or financially or professionally, 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:50.920 or personally or sociologically, like, where am I in my 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:54.560 life in that part of my life? How am I going, 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:56.560 what's going great? What's not going great? What are my 0:00:56.640 --> 0:01:00.640 results telling me? All that? Where am I? And where 0:01:00.640 --> 0:01:02.960 do I want to be? Let's just round it up 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:04.960 or down and let's just go a year. It could 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:07.440 be three weeks, it could be three months, six months, 0:01:07.520 --> 0:01:11.040 could be ten years, right, but just a future version 0:01:11.080 --> 0:01:15.160 of you, and I think it's good to try to 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:22.039 identify what is the gap between where I am and 0:01:22.040 --> 0:01:24.880 where I want to be, or who I am behaviorally 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:27.880 or practically or financially, and who I want to be. 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:32.000 We all have a gap so well. I don't think 0:01:32.000 --> 0:01:34.160 I've met anyone who doesn't. I don't think I've ever 0:01:34.200 --> 0:01:38.520 met anyone who has zero aspiration or ambition or intention 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:42.080 or hope to be a slightly better version of themselves 0:01:42.120 --> 0:01:45.520 in some way at some point in the future. So 0:01:45.600 --> 0:01:49.240 I think we all have that gap. But it's trying 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:53.280 to identify what that gap is, what that means to us, 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:56.480 how important it is to us, and what's at the 0:01:57.400 --> 0:01:59.560 what's the underlying cause of the gap. What are we 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:01.640 doing too much of or not enough of, or what 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:05.760 are we not thinking about or not addressing, and what 0:02:05.800 --> 0:02:08.240 do we need to do? And like the tough thing 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:10.400 about one of the many tough things about being a 0:02:10.480 --> 0:02:15.360 human is that we're emotional, and when it comes to us, 0:02:15.440 --> 0:02:20.000 we're often very unreasonable. We're often very hard on ourselves, 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:22.880 or at other times the other end of the scale. 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:26.560 We just want instant gratification and fun and easy and 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:29.600 quick and painless, so we just hit up on all 0:02:29.639 --> 0:02:33.760 the fun stuff, the comfortable stuff. But there's always some 0:02:33.880 --> 0:02:39.079 kind of underlying reason or cause or mechanism that's keeping 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:45.600 us behaviorally or psychologically or physiologically or financially trapped in 0:02:45.639 --> 0:02:48.200 a spot that we don't want to be, which is 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:50.480 not say life is currently shit. It's not say that 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:53.120 at all. It's just to say that many of us 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:57.440 have wanted to be in inverted commas b in another 0:02:57.480 --> 0:03:02.760 place for a very long time, but we're not there 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:05.480 for whatever reason, you know, Like there was a time 0:03:05.520 --> 0:03:07.799 when I was working on the gym floor and then 0:03:07.919 --> 0:03:09.760 I realized I wanted to own a business. I want 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:11.680 to work for me. So there's the oh, well, here 0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:14.040 I am working in this place for this much though, 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:19.840 for this bloke, in these circumstances, in this culture, it's okay, 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:21.800 but I don't love it. You know, it's a five 0:03:21.840 --> 0:03:23.600 out of ten. I don't love it. It's not My 0:03:23.639 --> 0:03:26.520 life is not horrible, but this is not where I 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:28.960 want to be. So then I would and I did. 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:34.680 In that moment, I'd go, well, this is my current status, situation, income, environment, circumstance, 0:03:34.800 --> 0:03:38.520 level of responsibility, level of power. I wasn't running the show. 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:40.640 I couldn't run the show because it wasn't my business. 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:43.080 And this is where I would like to be at 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:46.040 some stage in the future. I don't necessarily think I 0:03:46.120 --> 0:03:48.480 timelined it to win it within a day or a 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:52.560 month even, but just to recognize that this ain't it 0:03:52.720 --> 0:03:55.320 for me. This is okay, but this ain't it in 0:03:55.320 --> 0:03:58.960 inverted commas for me. And then what does it look like? 0:04:00.400 --> 0:04:03.440 You know? And you're always redefining and kind of realigning 0:04:03.480 --> 0:04:05.800 and thinking about what that means over time, and that 0:04:05.960 --> 0:04:08.280 you know that what it will look like, what will 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:14.960 be the ideal situation, circumstance, scenario, income, culture, environment, task, role, 0:04:15.200 --> 0:04:18.520 job that will be different for you at different times, 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:20.840 just as it has been for me. But right now 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:23.320 I'm listening to this. You know, where are you at 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:26.120 and where would you like to be? And what is 0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:29.400 that gap? And let's see if we can talk about 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:33.760 bridging it. So what I've done, Groovers, is I have 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:37.599 broken it down into kind of like the macro and 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:44.920 the micro. There's the big rocks and the pebbles, and 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:49.760 the big rocks of which I speak grasshoppers are ah 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:54.560 for today anyway. They are these physical health, mental health, 0:04:55.440 --> 0:05:06.160 lifestyle habits, career financial stuff, relationships stuff, brain function and 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:11.720 mental health stuff. And putting our current operating system under 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:14.400 the spotlight as well, so we can take a look 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:17.680 at all of these kind of individual kind of components 0:05:17.720 --> 0:05:22.920 of the US experience, and then maybe the the micro 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:26.839 that sits underneath the macro of each of those headings. 0:05:28.240 --> 0:05:30.640 So I'm not going to make this too long. It's 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:33.320 just kind of, I guess, an introduction to this concept 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:37.719 between bridging the gap, and obviously there are a lot 0:05:37.720 --> 0:05:39.920 of gaps for many of us. Some of them are 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:43.040 really important. Some of them are like, yeah, I wouldn't 0:05:43.080 --> 0:05:44.920 like I wouldn't mind being a bit better at that, 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:47.279 that would be nice. But if I don't get any 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:50.520 better at playing my guitar, that's okay. Or if I 0:05:50.520 --> 0:05:53.919 don't lose three more kilos, that's okay. Or if my 0:05:54.640 --> 0:05:58.920 income stays at you know, whatever it is or whatever 0:05:58.960 --> 0:06:01.839 it is plus ten percent, I'm probably going to be okay. 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:03.839 So it's not a big thing, but there will be 0:06:03.880 --> 0:06:10.080 big things like I cannot currently or I can't continue 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:12.880 on my current workload, so the hours I work, the 0:06:12.960 --> 0:06:18.720 stress that it puts me under the level of sleep 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:21.160 that I'm getting, like, it's just not working. So that's 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:25.240 something that really needs to be addressed and immediately. So 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:29.800 top of the list is physical health, and in that 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:33.760 like no surprises here, I think When I think about 0:06:33.800 --> 0:06:38.800 my physical health, I think about the impact of food 0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:42.760 and everyone's physical health. Is how I frame it food? 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:46.640 How much am I eating? Am I overeating? Am I 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:52.719 under eating? And am I eating high quality food? Where 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:54.960 do I get it from? Do I prepare it? Is 0:06:55.000 --> 0:07:03.080 it ultra processed? Is it somewhat wholesome and closer towards 0:07:03.080 --> 0:07:07.920 the organic end of the spectrum? How do I eat 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:12.480 in terms of my relationship with food? What about social eating? 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:17.920 What about compulsive eating? What about reactive eating? What about 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:20.840 numbing out with food? What about all of those things? 0:07:20.840 --> 0:07:23.840 So I think it's just to be. And as most 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:26.280 of you know, my biggest challenge for a lot of 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:29.000 my life has been food in terms of me keeping 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:33.840 my shit together, managing me, making good choices, and giving 0:07:33.880 --> 0:07:38.520 myself the best chance to live a long, healthy life. 0:07:38.600 --> 0:07:41.920 Food has been my number one priority because that was 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:46.000 my biggest issue. That was my biggest kind of emotional, psychological, 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:50.760 behavioral tipping point. So think about the things. If food 0:07:50.800 --> 0:07:54.960 is an issue for you, don't beat yourself out, don't 0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:59.280 jump up and down. As emotional as we all are, 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:02.880 recognize the emotion around it, feel it. That's all cool. 0:08:02.880 --> 0:08:05.040 But then try to turn that volume down a little 0:08:05.040 --> 0:08:09.920 bit and start to be a bit strategic, just practically, 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:12.240 what am I doing that doesn't work? What am I 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:16.360 bullshitting myself about? What am I telling people that isn't true? 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:20.760 What am I currently doing pretty regularly that is dumb 0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:23.960 as fuck? You know that this is You don't need 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:28.120 to be super educated or highly intelligent. I know most 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:31.480 of you are, But you don't need to be a 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:35.160 genius to figure this stuff out. You don't need to 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:39.959 be a genius to know that you are doing things 0:08:39.960 --> 0:08:41.840 which don't align with who and how you want to be. 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:44.360 So food is a biggie under the banner of physical 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:47.520 health exercise, of course, I don't really need to explain 0:08:47.559 --> 0:08:52.120 it to you. But more than how much do you exercise, 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:55.800 or do you have the perfect program, or how hard 0:08:55.880 --> 0:09:01.960 or how easy, my kind of number one priority for 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:07.760 people is that they exercise consistently. Most people that I 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:11.240 have met over the years I'm talking about the totality 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:15.000 of the people I meet in life are not consistent. 0:09:15.800 --> 0:09:21.559 And that's very reflective of the stats around exercise consistency 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:25.240 generally speaking in the research. So we know that a 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:28.120 lot of people start a lot of people stop. A 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:30.040 lot of people do a whole thing for a while, 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:32.920 they get results, then they stop, then they lose results, 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:35.719 and then a whole bunch of stuff happens, and then 0:09:36.200 --> 0:09:39.720 we're getting to October November, it's getting warm in Australia anyway, 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:43.200 and then people go, right, that's it, I'm back baby, 0:09:43.320 --> 0:09:50.080 And there's another cycle. It's hard to be consistent. And 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:54.640 it doesn't mean it's hard for everyone all the time, 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:56.640 but it means it's hard for a period of time 0:09:56.960 --> 0:10:01.240 until that exercise that works for you, until that exercise 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:05.559 that produces the outcomes that you want becomes ingrained into 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:09.560 who you are, Like, this is part of your operating system. Now, 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:13.120 this is part of your hardwiring. This is you on default. 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:18.719 This is normal mode you, NM you why sorry, n 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:22.400 M why normal mode you? Because then once that exercise 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:25.959 gets integrated into our subconscious and our day to day 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:29.000 patterns and rules and rituals, and now this is just 0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:33.160 us doing us. This is not us trying to be 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:39.800 spectacular or become an Olympian or being credible. This is 0:10:39.880 --> 0:10:43.000 us just trying to build an operating system around As 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:45.880 I said, initially, food and exercise, which is going to 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:47.720 work for us, And by work for us, I don't 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:50.440 mean get us in the Olympic team or some kind 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:56.720 of physiological specimen that's superhuman, but rather just a version 0:10:56.760 --> 0:10:59.920 of you that is consistently as healthy as you can be, 0:11:01.000 --> 0:11:04.920 optimizing your physical potential. Of course, under the banner of 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:08.920 physical health is sleep and stress and relationships. Sleep and stress. 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:12.360 You kind of get it. If we're under sleep, we're 0:11:12.400 --> 0:11:16.640 not recharging the batteries. And I actually just read an 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:20.800 interesting paper talking about or abstract of a paper, I'll 0:11:20.840 --> 0:11:24.800 be more accurate about how you know, there's a thing 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:28.360 that happens with sleep, and that is that over time. 0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:32.959 You know, people say I'm really good with five hours. 0:11:33.400 --> 0:11:37.280 What happens is when you under sleep. Now, virtually nobody, 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:43.360 very very few people can be consistently physiologically healthy on 0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:47.400 five hours sleep. There may be a few unicorns out there. 0:11:48.520 --> 0:11:51.120 But what's happened with many people who go, oh, I'm 0:11:51.160 --> 0:11:54.520 great with five or six hours is that their body 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:58.040 has adapted so that they feel good, so they have 0:11:58.160 --> 0:12:02.960 the perception of I'm okay, while below the surface physiologically 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:07.520 things are not okay. So we don't even know sometimes 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:10.840 because we can't pick up on the data on the 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:14.680 biodata that our body is sending us so sleep, even 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:18.319 if you think you're going okay sometimes with four or 0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:22.440 five six hours sleep, the research seems to suggest, and 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:25.320 my observation and work with people seems to suggest that 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:31.720 there are very few people who can consistently live on 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:36.720 somewhere in the five to six hour range and be 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:45.480 genuinely healthy optimal immune function, cellular energy, cellular health, cognitive 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:49.480 function on very little sleep. And then the last one 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:53.520 on the list here on the physical health as relationships 0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:56.840 and just because you know what's happening in your relationships 0:12:57.120 --> 0:13:04.120 more specifically you'll or close relationships, it impacts you. And 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:07.679 this is an interesting thing because it's not something I 0:13:07.800 --> 0:13:11.439 used to think about a whole lot. I didn't really 0:13:11.520 --> 0:13:16.559 think about it, you know what. I didn't actually understand 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:21.319 it as being such an important factor in physical health 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:24.360 in mental health, because if your mental health is not great, 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:26.720 your physical health it's not going to be great, and 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:30.199 vice versa, like they're intertwined to think that, as I've 0:13:30.200 --> 0:13:33.640 said many times, to think that you know, psychological, emotional 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:39.200 and physiological kind of states or outcomes are not intertwined 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:42.320 with each other. Is ignorant. It's not science, And the 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:46.560 only place that those three things exist in isolation. You know, 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:52.480 emotional stuff, psychological stuff, cognitive stuff, physiological stuff. More broadly, 0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:56.120 the only place they operate in isolation is in research, 0:13:56.200 --> 0:13:59.200 as in science. But as a human being just fucking 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:06.360 navigating life on the big spinning rock, navigating the blue. No, 0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:10.840 all that shit's intertwined. That if something bad happens, I worry, 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:13.800 that affects my body, That affects my cognitive function, That 0:14:13.880 --> 0:14:18.160 affects my nervous system, my emotional state, my ability to 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:22.880 think clearly, to communicate rationally. Everything is intertwined with everything 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:30.840 with us humans. So having relationship problems and ranging from 0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:38.840 not great through to horribly horribly destructive and toxic, that 0:14:39.000 --> 0:14:43.360 has a big physical health, probably bigger than everything else 0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:47.880 in the short term, in the short term sleep maybe 0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:52.640 the exception. All right, mental health. So where am I 0:14:52.720 --> 0:14:56.400 with my mental health? If I could, you know, crag 0:14:56.480 --> 0:14:58.280 a fight and just go well, ken is I feel 0:14:58.320 --> 0:15:00.280 fucking great? Most of the time? I don't. I feel 0:15:00.320 --> 0:15:03.680 very stressed, very anxious. I don't feel saddy, make sad stuff. 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:08.640 I don't feel depressed. I kind of process life pretty 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:12.280 good and you know, overall, like not perfect, but overall 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:16.440 actually genuinely pretty good. Well, that's amazing, and I think 0:15:16.480 --> 0:15:21.320 that's obviously possible. And I think for me, most of 0:15:21.360 --> 0:15:23.880 the time, not all the time, but most of the time, 0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:27.400 I'm near that end of the scale. I think if 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:30.720 we averaged it out for me ten being at the 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:33.040 end of the scale, I would think most of the 0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:36.760 time I'm a seven to nine, And there are times 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:39.840 when I'm a one like you, or a three like you, 0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:41.920 or a five like you, and maybe now and then 0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:46.800 a ten like you for a minute. But just trying 0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:50.480 to understand, remember I metacognition, thinking about how I think 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:52.200 and how I feel and who I am the way 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:54.600 I am trying to understand your mental health from an 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:57.960 anxiety point of view, from an overthinking point of view, 0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:02.600 from the decisions that you're making every day, from the 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:08.080 reactions that you manifest to certain stimuli, like the way 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:10.920 that you respond to stuff good and bad, or people 0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:16.320 good and bad, or situations and circumstances. Your ability that 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:19.840 equanimity thing that we speak about, your ability to be 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:22.560 the calm and the chaos. Can I be in the 0:16:22.560 --> 0:16:25.480 middle of a shit fest and not be in a 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:28.960 shit state? How do I do that? And maybe that's 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:31.640 something you want to or need to develop over time. 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:35.440 How does the firefighter who's in the middle of complete 0:16:35.520 --> 0:16:39.360 chaos and turmoil and smoke and fire and panic and 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:43.720 screaming people and uncertainty and danger, how does he or 0:16:43.800 --> 0:16:47.680 she run into that environment and be exactly the person 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:52.000 that we need in that moment to be our best 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:56.360 chance of saving lives. That's fucking amazing. I love that. 0:16:57.200 --> 0:17:00.280 So how do I become more of that? Do I 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:06.160 process experiences? What is do I process things? Something happens. 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:09.399 My go to is negative, this is bad, this is 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:12.280 going to end badly. There's not good, blah blah blah 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:16.600 blah blah, I'm an idiot, I fucked up. Whatever. So 0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:19.040 there's the thing that happens, and there's our response, and 0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:21.760 our response is based on our story that we tell 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:27.720 ourselves about the thing. An event happens and ten people 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:31.679 are there, so it happens to all ten. Nine people 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:37.640 respond absolutely fine, no major drama, trauma, stress, anxiety, and 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:41.560 one person in the middle of that interprets it differently, 0:17:41.680 --> 0:17:45.440 has a very negative reaction. This is not weakness or 0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:49.280 badness or you know, this is a human response. This 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:53.800 is that person's response. So thinking about how do I 0:17:54.000 --> 0:17:58.840 change that? We can't. We can't fix that in this podcast. 0:17:58.840 --> 0:18:04.200 But I've I've thought about these things forever. When someone 0:18:04.240 --> 0:18:07.240 says something, why do I want to impress them? Or 0:18:07.280 --> 0:18:10.400 when someone's around me that I think is impressive, Why 0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:13.400 then do I try to boill? That's ego, that's insecurity, 0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:16.920 that's self doubt, that's fear, that's all my bullshit. Now, 0:18:16.920 --> 0:18:20.159 this is not me beating me up. This is me 0:18:20.400 --> 0:18:24.159 understanding me. This is me recognizing how I am and 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:27.439 what I do and trying to park that in the 0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:30.840 logical space, turned down on the emotion, on all my bullshit, 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:34.760 of which there is much, and then try and create 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:40.520 some kind of approach to or method or system to 0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:44.199 do something about that. But to do something about that, 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:49.480 I need to understand that. I need to understand me. 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:53.760 I need to understand why I make the decisions I do, 0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:57.800 Why I process things the way I do, Why I 0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:01.040 react and respond the way I do, Why I over 0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:06.800 or underreact, Why I blame instead of thinking, well, maybe 0:19:06.840 --> 0:19:09.720 I'm part of the problem. Why I do that? Why 0:19:09.800 --> 0:19:14.760 we do that. Next on my list is lifestyle, which 0:19:14.800 --> 0:19:18.400 is more practical, so it's kind of almost a big 0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:20.160 picture of how do I manage me in the middle 0:19:20.160 --> 0:19:24.040 of my life? I reckon one of the most important questions. 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:27.919 It's very broad and it covers everything. But you know, 0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:30.399 often even when I could be talking to one hundred 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:34.760 lawyers or one hundred blokes who work on a construction site, 0:19:34.840 --> 0:19:38.040 or one hundred nurses or a thousand doesn't matter. But 0:19:38.440 --> 0:19:41.520 even though I work in different professional environments with different 0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:45.080 kinds of people who do different kinds of jobs and 0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:50.639 different incomes under different circumstances, really I rarely go in 0:19:50.640 --> 0:19:53.320 there and talk about their job or work or productivity 0:19:54.080 --> 0:20:01.480 or you know, outcomes on a business level about how 0:20:01.480 --> 0:20:04.359 do you manage you? Like how do you manage you 0:20:05.440 --> 0:20:08.920 at work? And we can extrapolate this to at life. 0:20:09.440 --> 0:20:11.120 How do you manage you? How do you manage your 0:20:11.119 --> 0:20:14.280 mind and body and emotions and choices and actions and 0:20:14.320 --> 0:20:17.240 reactions and energy? How do you manage that stuff? Do 0:20:17.240 --> 0:20:19.920 you have a plan? Do you have a plan or 0:20:19.960 --> 0:20:21.679 you just get up today and kind of do what 0:20:21.720 --> 0:20:24.639 you did yesterday, even though yesterday was shit and the 0:20:24.720 --> 0:20:26.920 day before was pretty shit in the last hundred days 0:20:26.920 --> 0:20:30.840 have been somewhere between not awesome and kind of average. 0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:35.800 Maybe for some people. Again, that's not a criticism, that's 0:20:36.000 --> 0:20:41.000 just for some people their reality. Now, there's no magic fairy. 0:20:41.359 --> 0:20:43.520 No one's going to come in and magic up your life. 0:20:44.280 --> 0:20:47.520 Nobody's going to come and fix it for you. Nobody's 0:20:47.560 --> 0:20:50.440 going to come and solve it for you. Nobody's going 0:20:50.480 --> 0:20:53.400 to come and sprinkle happiness dust all over your s Gone. 0:20:53.560 --> 0:20:56.560 It ain't going to happen. So we acknowledge it, we 0:20:56.640 --> 0:20:59.760 realize it, we see it for what it is, and 0:21:00.320 --> 0:21:03.479 we try to practically address it. And I might say, okay, 0:21:03.560 --> 0:21:06.880 so how often do you drink booze? Someone says every night? 0:21:07.400 --> 0:21:10.360 I go cool, Well, that's something we can change, perhaps 0:21:10.359 --> 0:21:14.080 not easily. But do you think drinking alcohol every day 0:21:14.200 --> 0:21:17.359 is good for your mental and emotional and physical health? 0:21:17.840 --> 0:21:20.399 And they know the answer is no. Great, Well, now 0:21:20.440 --> 0:21:24.840 we're starting to understand maybe one part of what the 0:21:24.880 --> 0:21:27.440 problem might be. If we're talking on this macro level 0:21:27.480 --> 0:21:30.560 of your life, then we talk about maybe caffeine, and 0:21:30.720 --> 0:21:34.439 caffeine's fine but not for some people. Coffee or two 0:21:34.480 --> 0:21:38.560 a day's great, but not seven or eight for most people. Drugs, well, 0:21:39.080 --> 0:21:41.919 the odd voltaire and for your saren probably okay, the 0:21:41.960 --> 0:21:47.080 odd aspro or panandole or paracetamol probably fine, depending on 0:21:47.080 --> 0:21:51.280 the individual, of course, not recommending anything, but consistently using 0:21:51.400 --> 0:21:57.960 drugs that are mind altering or physiologically altering in not 0:21:58.040 --> 0:22:02.639 a good way. Well, that's problematic. And what about rest 0:22:02.680 --> 0:22:06.440 and what about relaxing, and what about recovering? How's what's 0:22:06.480 --> 0:22:10.199 your plan around that? How do you reset? How do 0:22:10.200 --> 0:22:12.840 you push the reset button? How do you come back 0:22:12.840 --> 0:22:16.119 to work all the kids or the whatever it is. 0:22:16.720 --> 0:22:22.040 What's your little kind of metaphoric retreat from the manic? 0:22:22.640 --> 0:22:26.240 What's your metaphoric retreat from the chaos and the busyness 0:22:26.720 --> 0:22:29.520 and the responsibilities and the demands. And I know some 0:22:29.560 --> 0:22:32.600 of you are going you don't understand my life, blah blah. 0:22:32.640 --> 0:22:34.639 I get it. I get it. I understand you are 0:22:34.800 --> 0:22:40.000 very busy. I understand. And it isn't a contest. But 0:22:40.040 --> 0:22:43.320 for the last six years I've been working a lot. 0:22:43.359 --> 0:22:46.760 I've been recording mostly seven podcasts a week. I've been 0:22:46.760 --> 0:22:50.840 doing a PhD. I've been navigating old age with my parents. 0:22:50.920 --> 0:22:54.719 I've been you know, I get it, it's and we 0:22:54.800 --> 0:22:58.399 can either say, yeah, I'm fucking busy, Shut up, you 0:22:58.400 --> 0:23:00.600 don't understand my life. Fuck off. We can go yeah, 0:23:00.600 --> 0:23:03.880 I'm fucking I'm busy. But is there something I can 0:23:03.960 --> 0:23:06.640 do out of the fourteen hundred and forty minutes a day? 0:23:08.240 --> 0:23:10.560 Is there ten minutes a day that I could do something? 0:23:11.520 --> 0:23:14.280 Is there something little? Maybe it's five minutes that might 0:23:14.400 --> 0:23:17.959 move the needle If I do that five minutes every 0:23:18.080 --> 0:23:21.360 day and build it in six or seven or eight 0:23:21.440 --> 0:23:23.760 or ten or who knows, maybe one day thirty minutes. 0:23:24.080 --> 0:23:26.000 So we're doing this thing for thirty minutes a day, 0:23:26.000 --> 0:23:29.359 that's so fucking great for us. But we're not doing 0:23:29.359 --> 0:23:31.480 it for fourteen one hundred and ten minutes. That's great, 0:23:31.520 --> 0:23:35.639 that's not a massive request. When we'd be brutally honest 0:23:35.680 --> 0:23:38.560 and we go, well, like if I said, even though 0:23:38.600 --> 0:23:40.159 I just told you how busy I am, do I 0:23:40.280 --> 0:23:45.680 waste time on the phone? Fucking yes? Is it good 0:23:45.680 --> 0:23:49.119 for me? No? Am I a dumbass? Yes? Will I 0:23:49.200 --> 0:23:54.240 do it today later? Yes? Right? But do I do 0:23:54.280 --> 0:23:57.480 it less than I used to? Yes? Am I working 0:23:57.520 --> 0:24:01.359 on it? Yes? Can I find thirty minutes? Twenty minutes, 0:24:01.400 --> 0:24:04.520 ten minutes a day if I had to, well, if 0:24:04.520 --> 0:24:07.560 I had to, I could, well, let's just pretend that 0:24:07.640 --> 0:24:11.399 you have to. So lifestyle is a big one. Now 0:24:11.920 --> 0:24:14.040 these ones are a little well, the next one's a 0:24:14.080 --> 0:24:16.760 little closer to the macro, but it's still massively important 0:24:16.800 --> 0:24:21.080 in terms of the quality of the results that we're 0:24:21.080 --> 0:24:23.960 producing now and will in the future, and in terms 0:24:24.000 --> 0:24:27.280 of bridging the gap, the U gap of which we 0:24:27.320 --> 0:24:31.320 speak grasshoppers. And that's just your current habits. Like you've 0:24:31.359 --> 0:24:34.879 got lots of habits around the way you communicate, the 0:24:34.880 --> 0:24:37.119 way you do your job, the way you drive to work, 0:24:37.160 --> 0:24:40.000 the way your little rules and rituals that you do 0:24:40.080 --> 0:24:42.040 every morning. You get up, you do this, then you 0:24:42.080 --> 0:24:44.119 do that, then you do that, then you check that, 0:24:44.280 --> 0:24:46.880 then you check that, then you do this, and then 0:24:46.920 --> 0:24:49.080 eventually you walk out the door and jump in the car, 0:24:49.280 --> 0:24:51.359 or you go to the office upstairs at home, or 0:24:51.400 --> 0:24:53.800 you whatever it is that you do. You have rules 0:24:53.800 --> 0:24:57.800 and rituals and habits and behaviors that are programmed into 0:24:57.800 --> 0:24:59.840 your hard drive. And that's not good or bad, that's 0:24:59.880 --> 0:25:02.919 just thing. So what is great for us to do 0:25:03.000 --> 0:25:06.840 is to put our habits, good and bad, under the 0:25:06.840 --> 0:25:11.080 spotlight what am I doing all the time that's for 0:25:11.119 --> 0:25:14.119 the most part good for me. I can recognize that 0:25:14.160 --> 0:25:16.240 I can go well. I walk ten thousand steps plus 0:25:16.240 --> 0:25:19.520 a day. I lift some weights every day. I try 0:25:19.520 --> 0:25:21.720