WEBVTT - Healthy Hacks: How I Finally Stopped Starting Over Every Monday 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:02.719 When you think about all or nothing mindset in general, 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:05.320 it's actually kind of silly. I want you to pretend 0:00:05.320 --> 0:00:07.280 that you're in your kitchen and you accidentally drop a 0:00:07.280 --> 0:00:09.600 plate and that smashes. Are you then going to grab 0:00:09.640 --> 0:00:13.600 all your other plates and then smash them? No, you're not. Hey, 0:00:13.600 --> 0:00:15.720 it's your bestie Brogan. Steph and I am back and 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:19.479 this episode is probably going to be one of the 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:23.320 most important ones you may ever listened to on my 0:00:23.360 --> 0:00:26.000 show or listen to in general, because and it's not 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:31.720 because I am teaching you something revolutionary. I guess waking 0:00:31.800 --> 0:00:35.680 us up a little bit too. Why so many women 0:00:35.760 --> 0:00:40.800 in our lives, including ourselves, struggle with health, fitness, and 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:46.080 our body image. And if you're new here, you will 0:00:46.120 --> 0:00:48.279 listen to this episode and be like, Wow, Steph has 0:00:48.320 --> 0:00:50.199 done some things. Because I can tell you now my 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:54.040 health and fitness journey is vast. I've been on both 0:00:54.120 --> 0:00:58.080 ends of the spectrum, you know. I've been from binge 0:00:58.120 --> 0:01:01.720 eating unhealthy life. I literally ate noodle box for breakfast, 0:01:01.840 --> 0:01:06.600 It's horrific. I drank beer every day. I was unhealthy 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:08.560 and unhappy, and then I went to the other end 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:11.039 of the spectrum, where I was obsessive. You know, I 0:01:11.080 --> 0:01:13.520 did the bikini competitions. I was eating the chicken and 0:01:13.560 --> 0:01:19.160 the beans, and I completely lost myself. And from that, 0:01:19.480 --> 0:01:21.760 for the last fifteen years, I've been able to say 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:26.479 that my relationship with food, even my body, has been 0:01:28.160 --> 0:01:29.920 I'm not going to say perfect, but I'm going to 0:01:29.959 --> 0:01:34.200 say balanced and realistic. Because you need to remember, like 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:38.840 we grew up with magazines lining the aisles. I remember 0:01:39.000 --> 0:01:41.480 at age five being in the checkout line with my 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:45.000 nan and I looked over and saw magazines and plastered 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:48.360 across the front covers was titles like lose five kilos 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:52.680 in two days and zoomed in photos of cell your 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:56.560 lighte on celebrities, and I remember thinking, do you adults 0:01:56.720 --> 0:02:00.000 like this stuff? Like why are they showing her legs? 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:03.080 And you know, we lived in a time with the 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:06.480 Biggest Loser where on national TV we would tune in 0:02:06.520 --> 0:02:10.560 and watch people get weighed and shamed. And the more 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:13.920 weight you lost, then you become like the winner of 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:16.839 the Biggest Loser. And you remember sitting at home and 0:02:17.160 --> 0:02:19.359 even like people yelling at the screens, like saying like 0:02:19.360 --> 0:02:21.760 you should have lost more like it's actually insane when 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:24.040 you look back now to that time we grew up 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:28.400 in you know, everything was airbrushed and they would fat 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:33.440 shame celebrities who were literally a size ten. And then 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:37.160 we sit here as mothers and women or whatever age 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:39.520 you are now, and we wonder why we have such 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:42.639 issues with our own health and fitness and our bodies. 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:48.520 We were, you know, we never had a chance to 0:02:48.639 --> 0:02:51.359 have a healthy relationship with any of those things. Because 0:02:51.560 --> 0:02:54.760 of that. I remember the women in my life weighing 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:59.160 themselves on the scale every day, and whatever the number 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:03.560 on the scale said would dictate how they felt that day, 0:03:03.680 --> 0:03:06.359 if they were allowed to enjoy themselves that day, if 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:12.360 they could feel happy, if they were enough. And I 0:03:12.560 --> 0:03:14.760 write about this a lot in my book Muster in 0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:19.239 My Messy Life, and I write that from childhood me. 0:03:19.440 --> 0:03:23.320 I actually write those chapters as Childhood's steph because I 0:03:23.360 --> 0:03:26.399 remember thinking as a kid, you know, watching my mom 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:29.040 get on the scales and seeing her frustration with the 0:03:29.120 --> 0:03:31.680 number that apparently wasn't on there. And I remember thinking 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:34.480 to myself, I wonder what number I'm going to get. 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:37.520 I hope it's a good one, not one like mom has, 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:41.240 because it doesn't look very fun. And you hear that, 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:43.480 and I remember, like when I was writing my book, 0:03:43.520 --> 0:03:46.680 I remember that and thinking of it, and it was 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:50.400 just wild to think back to. Sometimes we need the 0:03:50.400 --> 0:03:54.520 simplicity of the child, your child brain, to see how 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:59.120 stupid we do things as adults. And it's fair, like, 0:03:59.600 --> 0:04:01.320 you know, I'm I'm not saying the women in my 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:04.000 life are stupid whatsoever. I'm saying the pressure that was 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:06.920 put upon them made them feel like they had to 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:09.880 jump on this clinical device every day, and that dictated 0:04:09.920 --> 0:04:15.160 their happiness, and that filtered through to me, of course. 0:04:15.440 --> 0:04:18.400 You know, even I remember the women in my life 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:19.919 like having a big lunch and saying, well, I'm not 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:23.080 gonna have dinner, like better not have dinner, and just 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:27.039 having that like cycle of self hatred and binge eating, 0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:30.960 and like, I remember that so clearly, and I didn't 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:36.480 escape that myself, you know. Today and I'm going to 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:38.640 be giving you the short version of my health and 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:43.960 fitness journey and then the seven hacks and mindset shifts 0:04:44.000 --> 0:04:46.599 that honestly changed my life with health and fitness and 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:49.040 allowed me to live the last fifteen years of my 0:04:49.080 --> 0:04:52.280 life going to the gym consistently not hating myself for 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:56.120 taking days off seeing food as food and not having 0:04:56.240 --> 0:04:59.080 an emotional attachment to it. Sure, like I'm not gonna 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:01.200 lie I had a had a bag of twelves last 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:04.159 night because I was stressed, And that's fine. But it's 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:07.040 not like a cycle of self hatred anymore or guilt. 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:10.359 Sure I shouldn't do that every day, but it doesn't 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:12.280 matter if I did it a few times. Like you 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:14.680 know what I mean, there's not you just kind of 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:16.679 need to detach yourself a little bit more and also 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:19.440 realize why we are the way we are. So if 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:21.719 you're someone who goes out to do a new fitness 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:24.400 routine or you want to you know, just feel better 0:05:24.400 --> 0:05:28.280 within yourself, because what I really want to say and 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:32.200 like highlight to you is that this episode isn't about 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:34.080 me saying this is how you lose twenty five kilos 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:36.560 or this is how I did this, Like it's about 0:05:37.800 --> 0:05:42.400 actually feeling better within your body and giving yourself permission. 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:44.440 But also like living a life that where you do 0:05:44.520 --> 0:05:47.360 have the energy to chase after your kids, you do 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:49.800 have the energy to like get through the day, and 0:05:50.640 --> 0:05:53.120 you feel comfortable in your body no matter what that 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:55.159 looks like, and how like that is going to be 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:57.839 different from person to person. But this is just so 0:05:57.920 --> 0:06:01.919 we can then live a healthy system, danable lifestyle, because 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:04.760 the problem we all have is that we keep thinking 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:06.840 that life is an eight week challenge, and whenever we 0:06:06.880 --> 0:06:10.159 want to like reset our health, we go so hard 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:13.560 and then we go home and grime and that's just 0:06:13.640 --> 0:06:16.560 not going to work. And I learned that kind of 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:19.400 early on, actually, but it's because I go very much 0:06:19.440 --> 0:06:21.680 all or nothing, so that's why I learned this earlier on. 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:24.800 But by the end of this episode, you are going 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:27.760 to learn the mindset shifts and the hacks and the 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:31.560 permission slips that will honestly change the way you see 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:33.600 your health and fitness and the way you approach it. 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:37.560 And it's going to allow you to hopefully put that 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:40.400 into your own lifestyle and then start feeling better as well. 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:43.480 But before we get into it, a little life update, 0:06:43.600 --> 0:06:45.920 and this is definitely tied to the topic today. And 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:49.280 I have just been feeling like really motivated at the 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:51.200 gym at the moment. And it's not because I feel 0:06:51.200 --> 0:06:53.679 like I got energy per se. If anything, I feel 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:55.600 like my sleep has gone really bad. Maybe it's the 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:58.760 late night twelves, but I've been, you know, getting stronger. 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:01.120 I've been feeling my body better and things like that, 0:07:01.240 --> 0:07:05.320 because although I have been working at consistently for fifteen years, 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:08.480 when I wrote the book last year, I took time 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:12.240 off so I could get it done, and I lost 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:14.880 like five kilos of muscle, which is devastating because as 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:19.160 we know, that's really hard and it was just a time. 0:07:20.440 --> 0:07:22.520 So you know now that I'm back in my rhythm 0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:26.720 again and I didn't it's actually I actually I am just 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:28.880 having a bit of a revelation on the show right now. 0:07:29.800 --> 0:07:33.240 If that was Steph before these mindset shifts and things, 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:34.840 and I had that much time off that I did 0:07:34.960 --> 0:07:37.960 last year, I would have crucified myself and I did, 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:39.760 and I was just like, cool, I've done this. I've 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:41.560 taken my time off. Now to get back into it, 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:45.080 it's just like removing the emotion behind it and sure 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:46.880 like I'm not going to sit here and pretend that 0:07:47.680 --> 0:07:51.040 everything's perfect and that I feel like I look good 0:07:51.080 --> 0:07:53.040 all the time. Like it's not that it's not because 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:56.080 it's like a superficial thing where I'm like, oh, look 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:58.080 I've gotten fits, so I feel good all the time. 0:07:58.120 --> 0:08:01.440 That's definitely not like I'm a female feel like shit 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:05.080 usually half of the month, and we have those times, 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:08.400 but it's like I don't sit in it for too 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:11.480 long and I don't crucify myself anymore, and I don't 0:08:11.800 --> 0:08:15.080 do the whole restriction and then like full just crazy 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:17.800 cycles I used to do anyway, So I've been feeling 0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:20.640 really good in the gym. I hit another personal bass 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:22.440 on like leg press the other day, which was all someone. 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:24.640 I was telling my friend about it, and then she 0:08:24.760 --> 0:08:27.080 said to me, like she confided in me, and she said, 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:29.360 I really want to get back into the gym, but 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:32.960 I just get in my head about it. And I 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:34.640 was like, what do you mean, And of course, like 0:08:34.679 --> 0:08:36.319 I understood, but I was like I wanted to give 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:38.600 her the floor to kind of dive deeper with me. 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:41.000 And she said, So the gym we have, the one 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:42.760 I go to, we used to have a women's section 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:45.640 and then it got like brought out by some new 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:47.559 owners and they took the women's section away, which for 0:08:47.679 --> 0:08:50.880 me that was a big deal as well, especially when 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:52.880 you're doing bloody glop bridges and you got your bum 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:54.840 in the air. But you know, it took time to 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:57.000 kind of get used to it again and she expressed 0:08:57.040 --> 0:08:59.480 that yes, since we lost the women's section in the gym, 0:08:59.559 --> 0:09:02.000 she just doesn't feel comfortable to go because she's scared 0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:04.480 of what people will think. And I told her the 0:09:04.520 --> 0:09:07.160 revelation that helped me with my gym anxiety years and 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:09.640 years ago, when I felt the exact same, but I 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:10.880 just kind of got to the point where I was like, 0:09:10.960 --> 0:09:12.840 enough's enough. I have to just do this thing for me. 0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:17.559 And I said to her that every single person in 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:19.840 that gym when you walk through the door, is there 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:22.479 for the exact same reason, and that is to better themselves. 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:25.280 They're there to work on themselves. And I want to 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:29.000 ask you something. When you're at Worse getting your groceries 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:31.439 for the week and you're going down the aisle, are 0:09:31.480 --> 0:09:35.040 you stressing about what other people there are thinking of 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:37.120 what's in your trolley? Are you worried that they're like 0:09:37.200 --> 0:09:40.959 judging your shopping cart? And unless it's filled with said 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:44.160 twirls and that's it, I'm pretty sure the answer is no. 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:47.040 And that's because you know they're there to do the 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:49.080 task at hand. It's to get their groceries, it's to 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:51.160 do their own thing. And you also know that when 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:53.160 you're there, you're just thinking about what are we having 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:54.720 for dinner? Or I need to get that snack for 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:56.960 the kids. You know that they're just worried about their 0:09:56.960 --> 0:09:59.120 own lives and their own things that are going on. 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:02.079 Is it exact same situation that happens at the gym. 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:06.160 Every single person in that gym is thinking about what 0:10:06.160 --> 0:10:10.280 they're having for dinner, replying back to that email, and 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:12.240 usually if they're a gym bro, they're looking in the 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:17.280 mirror admiring themselves. No one in that gym is looking 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:20.319 at you and thinking, oh, no, look she's wearing Kmart 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:23.400 tights and not Lorna Jane like. They're not thinking like that. 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:26.040 They're worried about and they're caught up in their own lives. 0:10:26.920 --> 0:10:30.120 And as soon as you realize, in the nicest way possible, 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:32.559 nobody is thinking about you as much as you think 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:36.040 they are, you will be set free. It really does 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:38.640 come down to the narrative that we tell ourselves and 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:42.040 what we essentially believe, even if that narrative is not true. 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:43.880 And this is going to lead into my first point 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:46.600 of this episode, in my first mindset shift. But first 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:48.320 I want to give you a bit of context about 0:10:48.360 --> 0:10:51.720 me and my health and fitness journey, and speaking of narratives, 0:10:51.760 --> 0:10:54.120 I had always grown up feeling like I was just 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:56.840 not a fitness person. I wasn't sporty. I was an athletic. 0:10:56.960 --> 0:11:01.040 I was a very awkward, scrawny child. I didn't play 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:03.360 ball sports because I didn't feel confident. I got bullied. 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:06.680 I was called Stiffanie because I couldn't catch a ball, which, 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:08.840 to be fair like, in my defense, I had the 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:12.640 son in my eyes. Okay, so just chill, and I 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:16.280 just had very little confidence as a kid. I barely 0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:18.520 spoke up. I was very quiet except when I was 0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:21.200 with my friends. I was pretty weird, still weird, and 0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:23.640 I just was not an athletic kind of girl. I 0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:27.560 didn't do any of those types of things. And don't 0:11:27.600 --> 0:11:30.200 hate me straight away, but growing up, I was blessed 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:33.319 to not have to really worry about the scales and 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:35.480 what I wait and things like that. Genetically, I was 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:37.520 very scrawny. As I said, I didn't have to think 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:40.320 about that, which is you know again, well, maybe I 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:42.920 could view watching the women in my life stepping on 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:46.319 the scale more objectively because I had to experience that myself. 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:50.840 Luckily enough, soon enough, after high school and after my 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:54.760 boobs came in and all the things, I went into 0:11:54.840 --> 0:11:57.199 my little partying era because growing up we didn't have 0:11:57.240 --> 0:11:59.280 a whole lot of food. There wasn't a whole lot 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:02.680 there whole what going on. So when I ran and 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:06.160 I moved out when we're eighteen, like, it was just 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:08.960 a free for all. I could eat wherever, I could 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:11.400 eat whatever I wanted within the budget I could have, 0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:16.160 and I did go all out. I was drinking every weekend. 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:18.760 I was drinking beer, which I don't know how I 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:21.199 did that, but it was delicious. At the time. I 0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:25.520 ate terribly. I the only I would pretty much only 0:12:25.520 --> 0:12:27.760 have like two meals a day, especially throughout Union things. 0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:31.079 I would have usually macas at about eleven and then 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:34.240 a really really big dinner that consisted of usually like 0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:37.240 a full foot long stub and like all twelve cookies 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:39.240 because I worked at Subway, and then you bet I 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:42.760 did like triple meat and everything, and within one year 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:45.240 I gained twenty five kilos. Now again, I don't I 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:48.600 try not to talk about weight because it's not like 0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:50.679 I don't want you guys to focus on the weight here. 0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:53.240 It's just me trying to show you the impact of 0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:56.440 this the help like the eating I was doing, and 0:12:56.480 --> 0:12:58.160 that's what it had done to me within a year. 0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:03.080 Now for me, before this, you know, my weight started 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:04.840 to kind of move around a little bit where I 0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:07.199 did try every diet under the sun. I did the 0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:09.600 cabbage I did the cabbage soup diet. And again I 0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:11.679 talk about all this in such detail in my book, 0:13:11.720 --> 0:13:14.120 and I even go into the time I ship myself 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:18.800 at the pub because of skinny tea. Just don't do that. Yeah, 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:21.040 So if you want to, like if I really do 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:23.160 go into the mindset stuff a lot more in the book, 0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:25.439 but if you want to read the context more and 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:26.920 I can do a podcast on it. But if you 0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:28.640 want to read my full health and fitness journey, it 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:31.000 is in the book as well. So, yeah, I lived 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.760 off energy drinks. You know, I was doing multiple jobs, 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:36.840 I was studying at UNI, all the things. But what 0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:41.840 changed this, I guess volcano of subway cookies was one 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:44.840 day I was at makeup school. So I just finished 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:47.480 graduating UNI, and of course naturally I'm onto the next thing. 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:49.760 So I was at makeup school and someone had taken 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:54.440 a photo of me, and our teacher would sometimes like 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:57.920 display our different makeup looks and things on the wall. Anyway, 0:13:57.960 --> 0:13:59.840 she popped the photo of me up on the wall, 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:03.080 and my friend at the time he was like, oh, look, step, 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:05.000 you're on the wall. And I walked over and I 0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:08.480 did not recognize the woman in the photo and I 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:12.880 just realized. I just thought to myself, how did I 0:14:12.920 --> 0:14:16.720 get here? And don't get me wrong, there was signs 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:18.520 like for me to even walk to make up school, 0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:20.440 I had to put band aids between my thighs to 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:24.400 stop them rubbing together. I was uncomfortable. I was so lethargic, 0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:28.960 I had headaches, My anxiety was terrible. But for me 0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:33.040 to actually change my ways, which I actually wrote, I 0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:34.400 don't want to go into the story too much because 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:36.080 it's in the book and it is really good to read. 0:14:36.440 --> 0:14:39.200 I had a man yell at me in the middle 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:41.120 of a Sydney pub, calling me a fat peak. So 0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:43.320 that was kind of like the day where I was like, Okay, 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:45.640 shit needs to change. And of course I was in 0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:47.560 my twenties. I wanted to just to look hot, I 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:50.960 wanted to look good. I wasn't just on my journey 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:54.440 to like feel better. It was definitely the superficial thing 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:57.200 back then, But I knew I had tried everything before. 0:14:57.320 --> 0:14:58.920 As I said, I did the skinny teas I did 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:00.280 the cabbage soup, and I was like, I have to 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:03.880 do something that's going to stick. So I knew that 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:07.480 whatever I decided to do in terms of this new lifestyle, 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:10.400 I had to run it through a filter. And that 0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:13.360 filter is what I call my cut the crap criteria. 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:17.440 And this criteria basically is something that I run through 0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:20.400 every new habit, every new routine to make sure it's 0:15:20.400 --> 0:15:24.960 actually sustainable. So the main question is can I picture 0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:27.640 myself doing this forever? And if the answer is no, 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:29.280 then you're not doing it because life is not an 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:32.120 eight week challenge. And from there, I just started moving 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:34.280 my body three times a week. I got a personal trainer, 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:37.320 I just stopped eating shit, and honestly, I did lose 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:39.640 the weight. But the problem is I went too far. 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:42.600 Then I went into like the bikini comp world, I 0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:46.560 did body building, and then I got so thin and 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:50.120 underweight that I lost my period for over a year. Now, 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:51.840 let me tell you, I was up on stage. I 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:54.200 somehow got into a calendar. All these things I never 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:56.840 would have dreamed of before. Like that's Steph who had 0:15:56.880 --> 0:15:58.760 band aids on her thighs. Would have never thought we 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:01.680 could be here. I was in magazines all that stuff. 0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:04.840 But you know what, I was more unhappy than I 0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:08.080 was before because I had no life, There was no balance. 0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:11.000 It was just I was just running myself into the 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:13.080 ground like a boot camp and there was no joy. 0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:17.520 And luckily enough, by that time Ryan and I like, 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:19.600 we wanted to get married, and we wanted to have babies, 0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:23.720 and luckily for that I stopped it because for once 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:26.320 my purpose was bigger than myself then just trying to 0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:28.920 look hot. It was to have children. So from there 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:31.840 I pulled myself out of the spiral. But it took 0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:33.960 a long time, and it definitely isn't the whole story, 0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:37.120 but there was disordered eating involved. There was like you know, 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:40.200 you know, laxities, all that type of stuff, and it 0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:43.720 was not good. But luckily for my kids, luckily for 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:45.640 my kids, I stopped doing that. But luckily for me, 0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:49.480 my kids pulled me out of that. And along the way, 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:53.560 and this is a short version, I had all these 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:57.640 revelations throughout and also hacks that I realized I was 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:00.360 making things so much harder for myself, as humans over 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:03.360 complicate everything, which leads me to my first point. So 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:06.680 get your notebooks out. These are not hard and these 0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:09.560 are not something that's gonna You can literally implement all 0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:13.000 these things today, but these are the shifts you need 0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:16.840 if you're serious about having a balanced relationship with your 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:20.159 health and fitness. Number one is the narrative that you 0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:23.159 tell yourself whether you think you can or you can't, 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:26.800 you're right, I want you to think about. There's a 0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:29.439 narrative we all have, we all carry one around. For me, 0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:32.680 as I said, I always thought I was an athletic. 0:17:33.000 --> 0:17:34.760 I was like, I'm just not this person. It's like 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:38.400 you're saying, I'm just not a runner. And if you 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:41.359 think you're not that, do you think there's any chance 0:17:41.400 --> 0:17:44.119 at all If someone says to themselves I'm not a runner, 0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:45.960 do you think they're then going to go grab a 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:47.480 pair of drugs, pull them on and then go for 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:51.040 a run. No, So therefore they never will be a 0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:53.800 runner because they've already decided they're not. And it's the 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:55.879 same for people who just think I'm just not a 0:17:55.920 --> 0:17:59.160 fitness person. You're never going to drag your butt into 0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:01.520 the gym and actually do a workout, or maybe go 0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:04.119 for a walk or try something new, because you've already 0:18:04.119 --> 0:18:07.640 decided that this is who you are. For example, I 0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:11.199 have always been terrible at public speaking, like in my 0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:13.879 childhood school. You know, when you're at high school and 0:18:13.880 --> 0:18:17.199 they'd make you do a speech, I would literally be 0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:21.080 sick with anxiety weeks beforehand. I would absolutely dread it. 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:25.719 And now, obviously I'm talking on a podcast, Obviously I'm 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:27.719 in a studio by myself, which makes it much easier. 0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:30.080 But you know, even for me at UNI, I would 0:18:30.080 --> 0:18:31.840 have to go to the unibar and scull a jug 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:33.960 of beer before I would talk in front and do 0:18:34.000 --> 0:18:37.280 a presentation at UNI, like I absolutely hated it. But 0:18:37.320 --> 0:18:39.719 then fast forward until you know my blog and everything 0:18:39.840 --> 0:18:42.360 and I do. I do live television, I do events, 0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:44.520 I do all these things, which yes I do still 0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:49.560 get really really nervous, but I stopped telling myself I 0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:51.680 just can't talk in front of other people. I can't 0:18:51.720 --> 0:18:54.719 do public speaking. Because if I kept telling myself and 0:18:54.760 --> 0:18:57.679 living by that narrative, I never would be doing the 0:18:57.720 --> 0:19:00.439 things I'm doing now. And part of that is I 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:04.600 had a bigger why, my why, and like my passion behind. 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:07.399 It drove me to do the thing and stop thinking 0:19:07.400 --> 0:19:10.480 the narrative that wasn't actually true. Another example for me 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:13.639 is which look, I'm still gonna be honest, I'm terrible 0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:18.479 at math. There's just sometimes there's facts. Okay, no, But seriously, 0:19:18.520 --> 0:19:20.960 with math, I've never been good at it. I would try. 0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:24.040 I did tutoring in high school. I just sucked. But 0:19:24.080 --> 0:19:26.840 for me, I had always thought there'd be no way 0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:29.399 I could run a business because I am bad at math. 0:19:30.160 --> 0:19:32.440 But here I am. I've got staff based Planners, which 0:19:32.480 --> 0:19:34.600 is a huge company, which look, granted, math is not 0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:38.440 my forte. But me thinking I just can't do it 0:19:38.520 --> 0:19:41.359 was not true at all. I'm actually quite good at 0:19:41.400 --> 0:19:44.000 looking at you know, business situations and that with numbers 0:19:44.040 --> 0:19:46.600 like that. But again it's not what I love. Like 0:19:46.640 --> 0:19:48.760 give me marketing, give me content any day, give me 0:19:48.800 --> 0:19:53.440 product design, socials, all that stuff. And even in terms 0:19:53.440 --> 0:19:55.639 of running, I never thought I could be a runner. 0:19:55.720 --> 0:19:57.400 And there was a period of my life where I 0:19:57.480 --> 0:19:59.679 literally got into running. I did that, you know that 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:02.359