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Speaker 1: Coming up on Relatables.

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Speaker 2: My boyfriend of six plus years stayed over in another

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Speaker 2: girl's hotel room for two nights whilst out of country

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Speaker 2: on a work trip. Nothing except clothes on, spooning, a

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Speaker 2: kiss on the head, and hand holding happened and he

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Speaker 2: doesn't understand why I can't get over it. Relatable The

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Speaker 2: Relatables podcast is hosted by myself, Jake Craig aka Jake Craig,

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Speaker 2: my partner in crime, Audie Clark Akadi Clark.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back, everybody to another relatable episode.

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Speaker 3: So stupid not funny, Yes it is.

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Speaker 1: Come on, man, I thought it funny.

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Speaker 2: I guess if we think it's funny, then I guess

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Speaker 2: it's funny to someone.

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Speaker 1: As long as we're laughing, as long as we're laughing.

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Speaker 1: But there's something that's happening in the world, Jake, you

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Speaker 1: know what that is? Fear terror, that's propaganda. That's probably

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Speaker 1: all happening. It's steep for things happening in the world.

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Speaker 1: But one thing in particular that's happening is there's one

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Speaker 1: document on the Internet that's getting flooded. It is, and

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Speaker 1: that is Relatables Dilemmas document. The completely anonymous document where

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Speaker 1: you leave a brief description of dilemma that's happening in

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Speaker 1: your life, and we do our best to help you.

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Speaker 1: We're savage, sometimes we're nice, sometimes we're mean. Sometimes we help,

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Speaker 1: sometimes we don't. But this is going to be a

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Speaker 1: full Dilemmas episode because you guys are flooding the Dilemma's document.

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Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, so clearly you have spoken and you

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Speaker 3: want this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and we are a podcast of the people. Yes,

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Speaker 1: And if you don't know where Dilemmas originated from, it

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Speaker 1: actually came from ages ago when we were in the

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Speaker 1: wooden log studio.

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Speaker 2: About twenty meters that way, and we're sitting here in

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Speaker 2: the garage currently at my house.

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Speaker 1: Twenty meters do.

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Speaker 3: That actual direction? Yeah, twenty meters do east.

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Speaker 1: That's sick, is uh.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to get the manliness to the directions. Twenty

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Speaker 2: meters due east that way.

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Speaker 1: I tell you what, this isn't a garage, more man,

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Speaker 1: it's a studio. Yeah, yeah, you renovated this. It's a studo.

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Speaker 3: It's a studio.

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Speaker 1: But back in the old the log cabin Jeue East.

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Speaker 1: I came to the pod with a dilemma one day

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Speaker 1: and then I randomly said I might do ADDIE's weekly dilemma.

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Speaker 2: Well, I think you came like three weeks and you

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Speaker 2: were like, I'm just going to bring one every week.

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Speaker 1: I had a lot of shit going on in my life, guys,

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Speaker 1: And what ended up happening was people's I was sending

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Speaker 1: in their dilemmas, and then this whole thing formed from

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Speaker 1: you guys.

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Speaker 2: We started getting mad dms.

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Speaker 1: Why we love it so much, so to help you

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Speaker 1: guys out, let's do some dilemmas.

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Speaker 2: Do you remember we were like, hey, guys, we're getting

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Speaker 2: a fair few messages with dilemmas and we don't want

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Speaker 2: them to go missing. So when you when you send

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Speaker 2: a dilemma, title it all caps dilemma. So and when

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Speaker 2: we look up in the search bar of the chats dilemma,

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Speaker 2: only dilemmas come up. And then I remember the transition

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Speaker 2: of doing that and then going into the Google docs, right,

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Speaker 2: I remember doing it, and I remember like we had

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Speaker 2: to keep on mentioning it because we were like, okay, guys,

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Speaker 2: it's getting ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: We're actually going to ignore dms now and only go

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Speaker 3: to the Google docs because they've they've listened to.

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Speaker 1: Us, literally people still dm as. With dilemmas, we do

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Speaker 1: get the odd one. Do you check out hidden? No,

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Speaker 1: there's heaps in there.

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Speaker 2: Well the hidden is like they think it's like Instagram

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Speaker 2: thinks they spambots, But.

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Speaker 1: It's not that many people must be nice. But also

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Speaker 1: that brings up what to do to submit a dilemma.

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Speaker 1: It will be the description of this episode that links

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Speaker 1: straight to the document or link in bio and scull

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Speaker 1: at the bottom. It will say dilemmas. There you go.

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Speaker 2: I really really think we should go back and find

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Speaker 2: the first ever dilemma.

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Speaker 1: And it was there's no way we're finding that.

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Speaker 3: It's somewhere in the art drive.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but there's no you remember what it is?

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, like yours.

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Speaker 2: My first evident, the thing that started dilemmas was the

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Speaker 2: first one you brought in.

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Speaker 1: He'll be dumb. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I was trying, what's it gonna be like I fucking

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Speaker 2: went to work yesterday, or it'd be something like I

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Speaker 2: went to the gym yesterday and I found out when

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Speaker 2: I got there I had two different socks on.

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Speaker 1: No, that's not what it would have been. I remember

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Speaker 1: one of them. Actually, I don't think that was my

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Speaker 1: first one though, was My dilemma was, I don't know

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Speaker 1: how to feel. I'm not good. I'm not bad, but

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Speaker 1: I don't know how to feel I'm a good.

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Speaker 2: Cost a bit of actual ganda, too much actual ganda.

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Speaker 1: You've gone fucking manly and then signs on this mate,

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Speaker 1: Who are you? You've been reading books or something that's

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Speaker 1: help some people out. Yeah, you want me to go first?

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Speaker 3: Or you and you go first?

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Speaker 1: Dilemma higher just want to say first that I'm dyslexic,

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Speaker 1: So I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense. I'm putting

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Speaker 1: all faith in spellcheck hashtagger relatable from another dyslexic king.

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Speaker 1: I hope I can read this for you. I'm a

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Speaker 1: twenty two year old girl and a virgin who's never

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Speaker 1: been in a relationship, been on a date, or even

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Speaker 1: kissed the guy. My lack of experience doesn't worry me.

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Speaker 1: Kissing sex seems pretty straightforward. Pretty straightforward enough, and I'm

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Speaker 1: cool with the fact that I've done more important stuff

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Speaker 1: in my personal life and focused on that up until

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Speaker 1: this point. Also, please to say I've finally grown out

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Speaker 1: of my ugly duckling teens, so that's no longer a worry.

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Speaker 3: Either what guy.

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Speaker 1: What worries me is the way guys have reacted when

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Speaker 1: I've told them my lack of experience. There are always

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Speaker 1: guys I've talked to you online and in person. I've

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Speaker 1: found they react in a few different ways. First is

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Speaker 1: the guys say that it's cool, but then start talking

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Speaker 1: to me as I'm super naive, like I'm a nun,

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Speaker 1: or that I've run away to convert.

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Speaker 3: Yes, so this gets hard, that gets wet, and then

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Speaker 3: I put it.

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Speaker 1: In it's like a man splating sex. Second is the

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Speaker 1: guys don't think it's a big deal beyond how I

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Speaker 1: feel about it. And third the guys that have that

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Speaker 1: virgin fetish. They start off seeming cool, but all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden you realize they're talking to you as though

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Speaker 1: they've stepped into one of their fantasies, and you feel

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Speaker 1: quite preyed upon. I've had bad luck and spoken to

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Speaker 1: two guys in person who have reacted like this. Not fun.

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Speaker 1: So I have a few questions. Why do you think

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Speaker 1: some guys feta size is that a word? Feticize about

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Speaker 1: virginity in girls so much? How would you guys in

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Speaker 1: brackets as decent blokes feel about dating girls with his

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Speaker 1: little experience as me, and can you think of any

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Speaker 1: questions to ask as a way to test which type

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Speaker 1: of guy they are without actually telling them I'm a

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Speaker 1: virgin And she said peers, thank you from Ireland and

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Speaker 1: she loves the pot, so thank you very much much

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Speaker 1: good glamoae shit.

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Speaker 2: Okay, first of all, first question was why do we

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Speaker 2: think guys some guys, sorry guys, some guys fetter size

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Speaker 2: the virginity thing.

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Speaker 1: Which episode was it that we touched on that we

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Speaker 1: touched on this? Was it a Patreon? I think it was. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was. It was damn so you gotta go listen.

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Speaker 2: To that as being fucking.

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Speaker 1: It actually was. But so what we said on Patreon

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Speaker 1: was we had a mad discussion of we didn't know

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Speaker 1: it went on from body count and then we also

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Speaker 1: talked about how guys care about virginity. I think it's

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Speaker 1: a big immaturity thing. Where we were.

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Speaker 3: We were virgins once.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we were virgins once, but we also had the

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Speaker 1: same mindset when we're going through high school thinking that like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, a body count was something that like

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Speaker 1: was to turn off to a girl. But as we matured,

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Speaker 1: we realized that sex is fun and it's a part

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Speaker 1: of life, and that everybody should have it as much

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Speaker 1: as possible because orgasm is good. But why guys have fetishes?

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Speaker 1: I think shows a little bit of immaturity. And I

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Speaker 1: can't say.

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Speaker 2: I think this is one reason. I don't think this

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Speaker 2: would be every guy's reason. That So every guy that

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Speaker 2: has a little fetish for like virginity, I have a

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Speaker 2: joke one too after Okay, I don't think this is

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Speaker 2: every guy's reason. But some guys that have a little

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Speaker 2: virginity finish, I have a feeling they have like this

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Speaker 2: like God complex about thinking, you know, I am a man,

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Speaker 2: I'm the one that spreads my seed. I need her

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Speaker 2: to be pure. I agree, not all guys that have

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Speaker 2: that fetish, but I think I think some would be

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Speaker 2: like I need her to be pure like this like

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Speaker 2: God complex shit.

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Speaker 1: And I think the other end responsibility is like you

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Speaker 1: can't really understand people's fetishes, like when people have like

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Speaker 1: nothing against it, like foot fetishes, or like that's something

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Speaker 1: that turns them on for unknown reason.

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Speaker 2: Again, I think when it comes to virginity, I just

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Speaker 2: feel like I gotta be Sundy with a God complex

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Speaker 2: of like oh, she's untouched.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's like I get to.

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Speaker 1: Like, like she's mine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like, oh she's untouched, Like.

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Speaker 1: Like I get to be the one to take it. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It's definitely some type of god complex or other end

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Speaker 1: of the spectrum is he's going to be really knows

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Speaker 1: he's really bad at sex, so he wants a version

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Speaker 1: because you don't know any better.

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Speaker 3: See that. Actually, also is good that you said, Joe answer,

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Speaker 3: that's a good answer.

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Speaker 1: I honestly think that.

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Speaker 3: I don't honestly think that's a good answer.

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Speaker 1: Fair, fair, Okay, that's reasons.

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Speaker 3: That's why.

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Speaker 1: Question two is how do you guys feel about dad

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Speaker 1: and girls with his little experience as me.

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Speaker 3: We we've said it once and we will say it again.

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Speaker 3: We wouldn't give a shit.

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Speaker 1: No, we wouldn't give a shit at all. If I like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not, I don't get I don't understand that, like

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Speaker 1: how that changes the dynamic in a relationship. Like if

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Speaker 1: I'm on a date, I really like this girl and

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Speaker 1: then she mentions, I don't know, second or third day

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Speaker 1: because she feels comfortable with me, by the way, I'm

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Speaker 1: a virgin, or I've never had sex.

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Speaker 3: Before, like I've kissed a few guys, but I've never

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Speaker 3: gone all the way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I would be like, oh, thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for telling me. I'm glad you felt like safe enough

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Speaker 1: to do that. And then I'll be like, well, if

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Speaker 1: it ever gets to that, just make sure we're doing

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Speaker 1: it in a comfortable way and the way you want

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Speaker 1: to lose your virginity. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: No, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I think I don't think.

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Speaker 3: I mean, here, let me rephrase what I said.

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Speaker 2: I said we wouldn't give a shit like I feel

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Speaker 2: like that means like we just don't care about you,

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Speaker 2: like we would care about the person.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but it doesn't affect We.

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Speaker 1: Had another dilemma, and I think this is exactly what

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Speaker 1: would happen to me. A girl said to the boy

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Speaker 1: she was saying that she was a virgin and he

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Speaker 1: was afraid to make a move because he wanted her

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Speaker 1: to be completely comfortable. I remember this dilemma, and that

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Speaker 1: would be me because I would be I would like,

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Speaker 1: be nice, and then I'd also be like I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I would be like, oh, I'm just gonna take this

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Speaker 1: super super slow, and she would probably be like, fukay,

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Speaker 1: let's have that sex. To me, already hurry h bay

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Speaker 1: like fuck me, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think the

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Speaker 1: biggest thing is when you find a nice guy, you

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Speaker 1: might like a nice guy might be like slow down

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Speaker 1: the process a little bit too much to what you

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Speaker 1: actually want.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder if it's like I don't know, I

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Speaker 2: actually I like I'm saying now like we wouldn't care,

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Speaker 2: but I think I think, yeah, we would definitely you

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Speaker 2: would take it slower because in the back of your

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Speaker 2: head it's like, oh, you're not doing it with you know,

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Speaker 2: you're not doing it when you're you're sixteen and you're

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Speaker 2: with your sixteen year old boyfriend and you're both innocent.

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Speaker 3: Like, I think a lot of guys will be.

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Speaker 2: Like, oh, they don't need to be doing this, but

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Speaker 2: they'll be like, oh, now they might feel some pressure

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Speaker 2: to make it good for you.

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Speaker 1: There should be no expect But I don't virginity ever.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, look, but I mean I don't think that's all

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Speaker 2: that valid. But I don't know what do you reckon?

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Speaker 2: Like do you reckon?

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Speaker 1: Fuck?

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Speaker 2: If she says on a first couple of days, like

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Speaker 2: I'm actually a virgin, you know, but I'm ready, Like

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Speaker 2: I don't know, Well.

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Speaker 1: She said how do I bring it up without actually

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Speaker 1: or how does she fish out these bad guys first?

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Speaker 1: Or how do you fish out the bad guys? Do

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Speaker 1: we have any tips on that? How do we fish

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Speaker 1: out some guys? You have that weird God complex? Fetishers,

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Speaker 1: you should be able to tell. I'm thinking in my head,

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Speaker 1: like some of my friends probably have that God complex.

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Speaker 1: Who would be like, yeah, okay, how to fish I'm

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Speaker 1: honestly it's like reading your ability to read people in

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Speaker 1: a sense. Yeah, but also some guys put on like

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Speaker 1: they tell you what you want to hear, and it's

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Speaker 1: hard to tell.

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Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, they're very some guys are very manipulative.

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Speaker 1: They're good at it. So I don't really know on

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Speaker 1: that point, but I think we can think of a

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Speaker 1: good way to bring it up with guys to know

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Speaker 1: they're that weird got God complex guy. I think your

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Speaker 1: an answer.

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Speaker 3: Go with that.

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Speaker 2: But I think, like, okay, I think there is one

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Speaker 2: thing this is like all people in general, is someone

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Speaker 2: that does have this fetish. Let's say let's say the

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Speaker 2: fetish bleeds from a God complex, right, they also would

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Speaker 2: be falling into like narcissism as a category of what

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Speaker 2: they are, and so they're like masters at manipulating, manipulating, right,

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Speaker 2: So I think I don't think we are equipped with

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Speaker 2: the ah knowledge or fucking advice to actually be able

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Speaker 2: to sniff him out.

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Speaker 1: You know, I think that's probably a great point.

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Speaker 2: I mean also, honestly, like a lot of advice we've

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Speaker 2: been been given lately is this, go with your gut,

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Speaker 2: trust it. Trust your gut, like seriously it is wise m.

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Speaker 1: And going off your gut. You can't maybe understand what

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Speaker 1: these guys is doing when they're telling you what you

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Speaker 1: want to hear. But what you can do is be

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Speaker 1: true to yourself and be transparent. So maybe there isn't

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Speaker 1: a good or bad way to tell someone you're a virgin,

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Speaker 1: but just make sure you tell them and see how

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Speaker 1: they react no matter what. Yeah, and then you can

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Speaker 1: make that judgment call with your gut. Yeah definitely, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Yeah your gut feels I say, yeah, I think, and

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Speaker 1: have fun losing it. Yeah, when you're.

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Speaker 2: Ready, Okay, next day. Lem Mark, My husband has started

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Speaker 2: paying his work colleague a lot of attention that I

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Speaker 2: would say crosses the boundaries. They have been going to

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Speaker 2: dinner after work, having coffees before work, getting lunches here

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Speaker 2: and there. He claims he does this with all his

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Speaker 2: fellow workers. However, it's only been her I've seen. She's

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Speaker 2: also been snapchatting and calling him non stop, which I've

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Speaker 2: also said numerous times I'm not okay with, and I

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Speaker 2: mean non stop. She even called to see where we

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Speaker 2: were together when we were out with friends on a Saturday.

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Speaker 2: These all occur outside of work times. There's a lot

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Speaker 2: more that's happening, but it's too much to write. He's

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Speaker 2: now paying me no attention, instead calling me insecure and crazy.

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Speaker 2: Am I being crazy? He doesn't take me for coffee

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Speaker 2: anymore or make any effort, and he says he doesn't

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Speaker 2: want to do anything for me because of how I act.

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Speaker 2: He also refuses to introduce us, saying he doesn't know

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Speaker 2: how I'll behave. I just feel like he's making excuses

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Speaker 2: for his crappy behavior. I know age doesn't matter, but

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Speaker 2: I should mention she is fourteen years younger than him.

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Speaker 2: I don't see how they could possibly be friends or

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Speaker 2: just talking quote unquote work, especially after ten pm. He's

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Speaker 2: telling his friends I'm paranoid and crazy. So I feel

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Speaker 2: so crappy right now? Please give some insight, What did she.

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Speaker 1: Say that at the like in the middle there, he's

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Speaker 1: not taking her out because of what she says.

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Speaker 2: No, he doesn't take her out because how she acts.

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Speaker 1: That is fucking manipulation at its finest. I know, No,

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Speaker 1: that's fucking not on a.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think when I read this, this is just

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Speaker 2: where my brain kind of instantly went. Anyways, is so

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Speaker 2: she said husband, right, And when you hear the word husband,

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Speaker 2: you think, like, you know, they've gone through the process

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Speaker 2: of committing and like saying I will be with you

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Speaker 2: till death, doeel's part through sickness and through health all that,

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Speaker 2: and like when there's the word like husband and wife,

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Speaker 2: like you think it's it's just so like it understand

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Speaker 2: it's a huge thing. Yes, it is a huge thing.

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Speaker 1: But like.

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Speaker 2: Let's say he was just your boyfriend and he was

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00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:14,040
Speaker 2: doing these things, you wouldn't have married him, no, you know,

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Speaker 2: so like what's the difference between like where like where's

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Speaker 2: the line of like how many chances do you give him?

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Speaker 1: It's like in sickness and in health or when a

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Speaker 1: fourteen year younger blonde Bardi comes along. Yeah, like come on,

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Speaker 1: I think the amount of disrespect manipulation. We'll never tell

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Speaker 1: anyone to break up with someone on the pod, but

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Speaker 1: the fact that he's like gaslighting you to making it

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Speaker 1: feel like you're the problem.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so definitely, well, definitely have to point out.

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Speaker 3: That he is gas lighting you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you feel okay when whenever someone comes

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Speaker 1: to like even say let's give him the benefit of doubt,

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Speaker 1: which I don't think we should. If you come to

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Speaker 1: your partner saying all these things you're doing are making

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00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:04,040
Speaker 1: me feel this way and he says you're overreacting, that

353
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,280
Speaker 1: is the most terrible response ever. You can't say that

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Speaker 1: to a person that's just devaluing your emotions.

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Speaker 3: That's yeah, your your emotions are not valid in his lifes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like fuck you and because and the reason they're

357
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,960
Speaker 2: not valid is because he fucking.

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Speaker 3: Doesn't give a fuck.

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Speaker 1: And even if he wasn't cheating, he's disrespecting you with

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Speaker 1: the sheer amount of time he's spending with her and

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Speaker 1: communication with her when he's in it, when he's fucking

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Speaker 1: married to you. Dumb.

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Speaker 2: Look, I think like from my perspective that like, I

364
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Speaker 2: just hate every single thing that I read, like, I

365
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:49,479
Speaker 2: really hate it. It's very much like just sounds very

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Speaker 2: much like emotional Ah yeah, just emotional manipulation. And like

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Speaker 2: I know, I'm sure there's like a million good things

368
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,000
Speaker 2: you could say about your husband as the reason why

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Speaker 2: you married him or or this stuff.

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Speaker 3: I don't know though.

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Speaker 2: It just it's just like I think that if it

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Speaker 2: didn't start with my husband and it started with my boyfriend,

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Speaker 2: this would be a scenario.

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Speaker 3: I would be like, oh no, percent break up with him.

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Speaker 3: So I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe that's the question you should ask yourself the

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Speaker 1: person who's sending this to the lemma is if you

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Speaker 1: weren't married and had that title, would you break up

379
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Speaker 1: with him? And if your answers yes, maybe you say

380
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,720
Speaker 1: fucking call him out in his bullshit. But like, you

381
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,800
Speaker 1: can't be treating me this way. I deserve better. You

382
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:33,960
Speaker 1: obviously don't value me.

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Speaker 3: He's the thing. It sounds like he doesn't give a shit.

384
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Speaker 3: Ah yeah, and he's really he doesn't give a ship.

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Speaker 1: Well yeah, he's a strategy. He's got a young girl

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Speaker 1: in front of him, so he's just gonna It's bad

387
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,400
Speaker 1: too because if she breaks off breaks it off, she's

388
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Speaker 1: heartbroken and lonely, whereas he's just going to go and

389
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Speaker 1: have sex with his cheek. Yeah, so she can't really win.

390
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,680
Speaker 2: But look, I mean I think look, yes, I don't

391
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,680
Speaker 2: think that there's a win in this for the person.

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Speaker 2: That's say, the dilemma in apart from the fact that

393
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,400
Speaker 2: you know three years down the track you will be

394
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,400
Speaker 2: recovered from the heartbreak is the wind.

395
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Speaker 1: You call him out and your bullshit, make him realize

396
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,760
Speaker 1: that your emotions are valid. Yeah, and hopefully he somehow

397
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,400
Speaker 1: proves that he's not cheating on you and then respects

398
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 1: your feelings and takes a step back from this. Learn't

399
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 1: call it a relationship with this coworker, and then your

400
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:31,000
Speaker 1: relationship can be healed with him. That's the win if

401
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,240
Speaker 1: you're willing to do that. And what I dare say

402
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,119
Speaker 1: what happened is still stand up for yourself, call him

403
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,320
Speaker 1: out in his bullshit, validate like you don't have to,

404
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,520
Speaker 1: but validate your emotions to him and say these are valid,

405
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 1: stop fucking manipulating me, and then realize that he's cheating.

406
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 3: I had an answer to a dilemma the other day

407
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 3: that I thought was good.

408
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,639
Speaker 2: I don't know if it imply if it applies to

409
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,520
Speaker 2: this as well, But what do you think of like

410
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 2: if she was to go to him and just be like, look,

411
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:58,440
Speaker 2: this is this is like so bullshit that it's a joke, right,

412
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:03,119
Speaker 2: this is like you invalidate my feelings so much that

413
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,359
Speaker 2: it's like actually laughable, Like it's actually a joke.

414
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,119
Speaker 3: I just want you to know.

415
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 2: I am not going to be putting up with this, like,

416
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,239
Speaker 2: and I like, do you think that applies to this one? Like,

417
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,240
Speaker 2: I just I just want you to know that I

418
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,159
Speaker 2: am actually I will not be putting up with this.

419
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 2: And so however way you decide to take that is

420
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,360
Speaker 2: how you decide to take it. It's up to you

421
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,239
Speaker 2: to fix this, but I will not be putting up

422
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 2: with it.

423
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 1: I think that puts yourself first.

424
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you think that? Do you think that that

425
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:33,919
Speaker 2: applies the same way.

426
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Speaker 1: The other the other day a certain extent? Yeah, that's

427
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 1: like I think that puts yourself first, puts the ball

428
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 1: in he's court and he's got to make a decision. Yeah,

429
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 1: but I think maybe you owe that to yourself. It's

430
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 1: not bad of us at all.

431
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:47,639
Speaker 2: I think, Yeah, I don't know. I think it would

432
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,920
Speaker 2: just would suck to say, but I bet you would be.

433
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,720
Speaker 1: Fucking and I bet it. Yeah, it feel good because

434
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,680
Speaker 1: of how this guy's treated you to like just stand

435
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 1: up for yourself even if the result isn't good. If

436
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:00,560
Speaker 1: you stand up for yourself and you did that for

437
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 1: yourself and tell them how you feel. But no, this

438
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 1: is how I feel, and this is I'm not going

439
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:07,440
Speaker 1: to cop any of this anymore. I bet you they'll

440
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 1: feel good. That's a win too.

441
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like he's gonna try and fight it and make

442
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,479
Speaker 2: you feel like shit, make your feelings gaslight you. Now

443
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 2: he'll gaslight you, and then you're just gonna have to

444
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:16,880
Speaker 2: be like no, no, no, I told you, like, I'm

445
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,119
Speaker 2: not arguing with you. Yeah, this is a statement. This

446
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:20,880
Speaker 2: is a statement, not a question. Yeah, I'm not I'm

447
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,240
Speaker 2: not starting an argument. I will not be talking about

448
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,880
Speaker 2: it further. All you need to know is I will

449
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:26,720
Speaker 2: not be putting in with this.

450
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 1: How we talked about in another episode, how to bring

451
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,159
Speaker 1: up tough conversations and start with that topic sentence and

452
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:35,439
Speaker 1: say I am not copying this anymore. You make me

453
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 1: feel this way in the first two sentences. Yeah, and

454
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 1: then just go from there so he gets all the

455
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 1: information before we can.

456
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 3: Gas like you fuck it's fools today.

457
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 1: Next dilemma. Alrighty, not a relationship question, but probably the

458
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,040
Speaker 1: question all the ladies wonder about. So, first of all,

459
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:52,919
Speaker 1: Love the Pod. When I started running to you, guys,

460
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 1: I cut five minutes off my time. I don't know why,

461
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,879
Speaker 1: but time is this flying. Let's go fun with you guys.

462
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:04,119
Speaker 1: So my question is to how boys really think about

463
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:07,360
Speaker 1: girls and their bodies. Personally, I am a girl who

464
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:13,119
Speaker 1: is absolutely flat regarding my top half, like like Mosquito

465
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 1: bites flat. Although I am lucky to have a bit

466
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:19,439
Speaker 1: more to offer when it comes to the booty, I

467
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:22,720
Speaker 1: am still really I am still really insecure when it

468
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,679
Speaker 1: comes to my boobs when being intimate with someone. I

469
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 1: know I shouldn't care about it, but I can't control

470
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 1: those things. But hearing boys can sistently talk about girls' bodies,

471
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,120
Speaker 1: it's quite hard not to think about it. Of course,

472
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 1: it comes down to preference. But do boys really care

473
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:40,399
Speaker 1: about how much is up there? Or it just sounds

474
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 1: like they do just by the way boys talk. Again,

475
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 1: Love the Pod.

476
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 3: Let me think about this for a second.

477
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 2: Actually, like, like an easy cop out answer is no,

478
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 2: we don't care.

479
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 3: But I'm trying to think of an equivalent for females.

480
00:23:56,119 --> 00:24:02,639
Speaker 1: No, I got the answer. Nice guys don't care. Those

481
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 1: misogynistic god complex useholes we are talking about who see

482
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 1: girls as objects do care.

483
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeh yeah.

484
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 1: So we can't put like a broad statement over all

485
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 1: guys saying they don't care, because some guys really really

486
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 1: do care.

487
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 3: Some guys might care.

488
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 1: But a nice guy talking from I don't like calling

489
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 1: myself a nice guy.

490
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:24,359
Speaker 3: A nice guy you don't want.

491
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:30,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, But from my experience talking to girls, I fall

492
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 1: in love with the personality and like the essence of

493
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 1: the person and I fall in love with like that

494
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:41,120
Speaker 1: person as a whole big boob, small boobs, big bump,

495
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,639
Speaker 1: small bum and then like I'm in love with this

496
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:48,159
Speaker 1: person and it's just them as a whole. It's like

497
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 1: a whole thing. It's like a whole package.

498
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 3: Here's one way to put it.

499
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 2: Is the person that you want to be with, right,

500
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 2: isn't in tested in you for your features?

501
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 3: True?

502
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 1: That's a good way to say it.

503
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, Just like you know, I don't think girls don't

504
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 2: speak about it as widely as men, which and the

505
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,639
Speaker 2: fact that men do talk about it and they really

506
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,880
Speaker 2: objectify it is just the worst that it is very

507
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 2: very shit, right, But I mean the thing I was

508
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 2: trying to think about was like, Okay, I don't know

509
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 2: if this even applies and all, just trying to think

510
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 2: of it, like if if girl, I mean girls like

511
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 2: a decent sized dick, you know, thinking about it, right,

512
00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:40,200
Speaker 2: like so for a girl like but I.

513
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:43,880
Speaker 1: Think that's different though, because that helps sex. I mean, yeah,

514
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 1: I guess, but like, Okay.

515
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:50,439
Speaker 2: If you wanted a guy with a big dick, but

516
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 2: you met a guy that you fucking really liked just

517
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 2: so happens it wasn't very big, like you probably wouldn't care.

518
00:25:59,160 --> 00:25:59,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, you wouldn't.

519
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 3: Does that make sense?

520
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:04,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, here's a good way to look at it.

521
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 1: A nice guy falls in love with your characteristics as

522
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 1: a person, yeah, and an asshole will fall in love

523
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:17,440
Speaker 1: with what your body has to offer. So because you're

524
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 1: part of the itty bitty titty committee, yeah, you have

525
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: a little bit of a superpower in a way, because

526
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 1: if this guy's generally they're falling for you, he's like

527
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:30,439
Speaker 1: falling in love for your essence.

528
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 3: It's a good question.

529
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think like that's going to cross out

530
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,360
Speaker 1: a lot of dudes who are just like Oh yeah,

531
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 1: it's been for a big thake titty.

532
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

533
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 2: So wait, what was a real question? It was like

534
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 2: what do guys like, do guys actually care? Some guys do,

535
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 2: some guys do, and some guys don't. Just like how

536
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 2: some girls, some girls care if a guy has money

537
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 2: some guy. Some girls care if a guy needs to

538
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 2: be over six foot. Some dudes care if you have

539
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:03,159
Speaker 2: big or small tits. Us we don't. And there is

540
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 2: a lot of people out there that are like us

541
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 2: that would prefer to go for someone that they actually

542
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 2: see like a future with and like you don't. Yeah,

543
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,919
Speaker 2: it's it's a good question, but it's like an easy

544
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 2: answered question if that makes sense.

545
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 1: Do one thing that I've thought about before. If I

546
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,880
Speaker 1: was a girl, I would actually way prefer small boobs,

547
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 1: like they fucked for your back and like just like

548
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:28,679
Speaker 1: running and like any type of activity, gun on the gym,

549
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,640
Speaker 1: Like it's just like it would be so like.

550
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:34,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, can I say something If I had the option,

551
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:35,400
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have a ball sack.

552
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,479
Speaker 3: It's a thing that's hanging off my body.

553
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:38,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the same thing.

554
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 3: And they do look it.

555
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

556
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,879
Speaker 3: I will also say one more thing. It sounds like

557
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 3: you make up for it with your eyes.

558
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 1: You're cheering. Also, there's another thing there. Guys are bum guys,

559
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:54,680
Speaker 1: there's boob guys, there's different guys everything. And I think,

560
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 1: no matter what, when you find the nice guy that

561
00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,919
Speaker 1: you're looking for, that's the only thing that matters is

562
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 1: he's trying to fall in love with everything you've got

563
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 1: to offer, not just one individual thing. Look.

564
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, me personally never ever looked at it like that,

565
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:12,439
Speaker 2: Like it's never been like a game changer if you

566
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 2: meet I've never met somebody gone on a date and

567
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 2: like looked at their chest and thought really small and

568
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,199
Speaker 2: thought that won't be a second date.

569
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:22,360
Speaker 3: Like, it's not how we think. It's not how we think.

570
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 2: Again, to reiterate on what you said, it is probably

571
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 2: how some guys think. But that's not the guy.

572
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: You want to be with, not at all. Nah. No,

573
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 1: I just don't see how a guy would think that either, Like.

574
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 2: How No, I can't wrap.

575
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be er. How are you consciously on a

576
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 1: date You're having a great time, having some good conversations,

577
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 1: and you're like, he's going to be a second one

578
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 1: of that chest?

579
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 3: WHOA?

580
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 1: How's that a thing? I don't get a day. No, no,

581
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 1: I don't get it, and I don't get where like

582
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 1: we went wrong in objectifying girls bodies like that. I

583
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: don't get it, Like the porn industry fucked it, like

584
00:28:56,240 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 1: I don't understand. Yeah, I don't get it. Messed up, man,

585
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 1: messed up?

586
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 3: All right, this one, this is a this one's kind

587
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 3: of funny. I'm gonna read it.

588
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 2: And then about three down there was a follow up

589
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 2: from this person. I'm recently single after a four year relationship,

590
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 2: and my friends have been trying to set me up

591
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 2: with their guy friend. Both during and after the four

592
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 2: year relationship. My friends have continued to make jokes about

593
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 2: us hooking up and all that as well. Fast forward

594
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 2: to a few weeks ago when we did hook up

595
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 2: multiple times by the way out one night with friends

596
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 2: and it was caught on camera.

597
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 1: By the club pap.

598
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 3: I have evidence.

599
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 2: Since then, I have tried to shoot my shot through

600
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 2: messaging the first two times, which he replied with some enthusiasm.

601
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,320
Speaker 2: He has since been over to our house with just

602
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 2: me and my friend and her partner, and him and

603
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 2: me were in a convo about that we weren't doing

604
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 2: much for the Friday evening me again trying to shoot

605
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 2: my shot. After talking with my friends, they said he

606
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 2: seems keen, but it's just a little shy and awkward.

607
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 2: This has happened over the last three Fridays, which is

608
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 2: also so weird.

609
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 1: Haha.

610
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 2: My dilemma is am I delulu for wanting to keep

611
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 2: shooting my shot? Or should I just wait until slash?

612
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:22,560
Speaker 2: If he does?

613
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 3: The answer there was the follow up made me laugh.

614
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 2: Hi me again from the dilemma about the guy I

615
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,720
Speaker 2: was waiting to hear back from after shooting my shot twice,

616
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 2: we fucked, he stayed over, took me on a date,

617
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 2: and now we're all good. You guys must be gods

618
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 2: or something. So thanks, we're doing I see. Here's the

619
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 2: thing is like new Yeah, like so this one was

620
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 2: sent in and then like a couple days later, this

621
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:54,760
Speaker 2: one was sent like the bottom was sent in and

622
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 2: I was like.

623
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 1: You know what happened? Oh, she manifested it by saying

624
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 1: it into the world. Yeah, manifestation, I truly believe.

625
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 2: I was like, this has to be going with this dilemma.

626
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 2: There's no other dilemma where I was.

627
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,719
Speaker 3: Like, did someone shoot their shot twice? I was like, no,

628
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 3: this has to be with thishi.

629
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 1: We fucked.

630
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 2: Hey, so yeah, we fucked. It took me on a date.

631
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 2: We're all good, Yeah, and I was like fuck.

632
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 1: To be fair, that's relatable. I remember back when I

633
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 1: was single, Like, I was so scared to initiate that

634
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 1: first move, especially if it was a Friday night and

635
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:25,480
Speaker 1: like all you want to do is hard sex. Yeah,

636
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 1: like I was never making that move. I was scared.

637
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 3: But John, I'll do my actual dilemma.

638
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:36,520
Speaker 2: Okay, my boyfriend of six plus years stayed over in

639
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 2: another girl's hotel room for two nights whilst out of

640
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 2: country on a work trip. Nothing except clothes on, spooning,

641
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 2: a kiss on the head, and hand holding happened.

642
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 1: Nothing.

643
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 3: Wait, I think this is it.

644
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 2: Sorry, I think this is both physical and emotional cheating.

645
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 2: All his friends have called it subjective and done nothing wrong.

646
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 2: Therefore that's his narrative, and he doesn't understand why I

647
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 2: can't get over it.

648
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 1: Is that the whole dilemma?

649
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 3: Yeah?

650
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 1: Subjective? This is fucking facts. This is emotional and physical cheating.

651
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 3: That is cheating.

652
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 1: Subjective? In what world is that subjective?

653
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 3: You're being manipulated by a fucking group of men. Yeah,

654
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 3: break up with him.

655
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 1: This is the classic pack mentality that men have.

656
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 3: That like they've convinced him that he did nothing wrong.

657
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 1: Yes, And this is the thing that we're trying to

658
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 1: change with this whole podcast is like when men are

659
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 1: erring groups, they somehow justify their actions when they do

660
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 1: these terrible things like cheat, cat call. They fucking objectify women.

661
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 1: They say, oh, wouldn't I like to fuck her? Like

662
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 1: shit like that, and they think it's okay because there's

663
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: all these other men say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck

664
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,880
Speaker 1: you didn't cheat, mate, when that's completely wrong. So he's

665
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 1: the validation that you're looking for. Your boyfriend is a cheater.

666
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,479
Speaker 1: Your boyfriend cheated on you, yeah, and you are valid

667
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 1: to feel all these feelings you're feeling. I genuinely believe.

668
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 2: Okay, if you broke up with your boyfriend, okay, for

669
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 2: cheating on you, by the way, if you when you

670
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 2: went so win, Okay, if you break up with your

671
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 2: boyfriend and then someone in a.

672
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 1: For some people get over cheating and some people are.

673
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 2: Tat if he apologizes, if you want to get over it,

674
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 2: but he needs to actually see what he did was wrong.

675
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 3: Yeah he doesn't know.

676
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:34,480
Speaker 2: But okay, Let's say, if you break up with your

677
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 2: boyfriend and then someone says, oh, how's your where we going?

678
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 2: You're like, how are we actually break up? She's like, oh,

679
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:44,240
Speaker 2: so sorry, Oh what happened? He cheated on me? Oh?

680
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:44,720
Speaker 1: Really?

681
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 2: And then you're like, yeah, he was on a work

682
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 2: trip and he actually stayed in a hotel room with

683
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 2: a girl that he works with for two nights.

684
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 3: But and they were like spooning.

685
00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 2: They didn't have sex or anything, but they like spooned

686
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 2: and like kiss on the forehead and stuff like.

687
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 1: That's what.

688
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 2: That's all he told me. No person that is like

689
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 2: of a normal brain is going to say.

690
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 3: Oh, why do you break up with him? He didn't

691
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:10,720
Speaker 3: actually chill. You're like, what the fuck?

692
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 1: I'm just looking up subjective meaning and what the exact definition?

693
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 3: Yeah?

694
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:20,280
Speaker 2: Did they even use that? Correct subjective way? Subjective means

695
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 2: here we go.

696
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:24,319
Speaker 1: This is so manipulative. Subjective refers to something based on

697
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 1: personal feelings, opinions, experiences, or perspective rather than objective facts.

698
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 1: It is influenced by an individual's emotions or viewpoints, making

699
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 1: it unique to that person.

700
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,279
Speaker 2: They didn't even use the definition of subject They didn't

701
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:39,920
Speaker 2: use the words subjective.

702
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 1: Correctly if because what they believe they said they did

703
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:44,839
Speaker 1: use it right, which is completely wrong. Though.

704
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:47,319
Speaker 2: Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait I feel okay, well,

705
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 2: that's that's pure and outright.

706
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:52,879
Speaker 1: It's maniplative. Yeah, that's like outright manipulation because.

707
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 2: It's they are trying to say that, okay, so he

708
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 2: cheated on you. They trying to say, in their opinion,

709
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 2: he didn't cheat. That's like saying, okay, what if there

710
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:05,760
Speaker 2: was dick in vagina action?

711
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 3: But they were like, well, in.

712
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 2: Our opinion, because it was in a different country, it

713
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:10,839
Speaker 2: doesn't counter cheating.

714
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:12,759
Speaker 3: So it's all subjective. That's not subjective.

715
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:16,880
Speaker 1: No, no, well, basically what they're saying is what you

716
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:21,800
Speaker 1: believe is wrong. That's what the fuck is insane? Yes,

717
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 1: what was the what did she want out of us?

718
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:25,919
Speaker 2: I think she was just telling us she probably wants

719
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 2: us to hyper up, to break up with him.

720
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:30,200
Speaker 1: Oh, well you should do that, you know what.

721
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:31,719
Speaker 2: No. I feel like what she wants is validation that

722
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:33,920
Speaker 2: it was cheating, and for us you get that validation.

723
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:37,799
Speaker 1: Percent And I think this plus year is crazy, six

724
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 1: years I've forgot about that. This like really highlights that

725
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 1: pack mentality. Also that it's always hard when you don't

726
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 1: like your boyfriend's friends. But to me, the way that

727
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 1: they've sided with him in this, it's probably something I

728
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 1: personally couldn't come back from knowing that they're always going

729
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 1: to say he's in the right, which they friends do that,

730
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,439
Speaker 1: but this is so one sided that they're like all

731
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 1: manipulating you. Just yeah, only you know what to do.

732
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:10,680
Speaker 1: But I think you've got the validation you needed. He

733
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 1: cheated to the amount of disrespect on that and then

734
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 1: continuing by gas lighting.

735
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 2: You if you want more validation, I tell you where

736
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,360
Speaker 2: to go, like if you need if you just like

737
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:22,919
Speaker 2: feel like the validation from.

738
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:24,399
Speaker 3: Us is good, but I just need a bit more.

739
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:26,799
Speaker 3: Fuck it and not to plug it.

740
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 2: But if she sent this anonymously into the Facebook group,

741
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:33,840
Speaker 2: the amount of people that would comment like that is cheating.

742
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 1: I thought it was going to say like slept on

743
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,160
Speaker 1: a friend a girlfriend's couch like the one night, but

744
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:41,760
Speaker 1: all that other shit, and I still would call that cheating.

745
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 1: Like the amount of disrespect this is also like highlights

746
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:49,799
Speaker 1: the you probably shouldn't have to have this conversation. But

747
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 1: for anyone else out there who's got a partner like

748
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 1: draw the line where cheating is before it happens.

749
00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:59,319
Speaker 3: Like, I don't think they should fuck me.

750
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 2: You shouldn't have to start a relationship and be like, well,

751
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 2: what's your definition of cheating?

752
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,279
Speaker 1: But I think that's healthy because there's been good for us, Like,

753
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 1: that's such a dumb thing to do. True, But some

754
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 1: girls have boyfriends like this who think spooning, kissing on

755
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 1: the forehead, holding hands, sleeping overy night for two nights

756
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 1: isn't cheating. What do you mean? You have showers in

757
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 1: there and shit, and you're fucking naked all the time,

758
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 1: Like what do you just.

759
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 3: Like to point out that there was one more than that?

760
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's crazy. But also but also he's like, also,

761
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 1: I don't like how he's obviously what he's done terrible,

762
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,880
Speaker 1: but he's planted a seed of doubt in your mind

763
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:35,880
Speaker 1: that he didn't have sex.

764
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 3: Ask yourself if you can trust him?

765
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't. No, I couldn't. Which is so if

766
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 1: you think you're like I can't trust him on being

767
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:44,279
Speaker 1: too much? No, you know I couldn't trust me either.

768
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 1: Fuck that al right, next dilemma, do I have the

769
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:55,120
Speaker 1: biggest dilemma ever? We'll answer that the girls think we

770
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: need help from the in quotes the pros. Oh shit,

771
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 1: I'm currently in a five year relationship. We have been

772
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:09,879
Speaker 1: together since I was fifteen and he was seventeen. I

773
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 1: love him and all that jazz, but I have been

774
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:18,880
Speaker 1: with him since I was fifteen. I don't know any different,

775
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 1: and I kind of want to dilemma. My friend's brother

776
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 1: is rather attractive to me. Nothing has come from it

777
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 1: or anything, but whenever I see him, I get thrown

778
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 1: into a whirlwind of do I want to be single

779
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 1: or stay in a relationship. Please keep me anonymous on

780
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 1: the pod, but if you have any questions, can you

781
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,439
Speaker 1: message me and ask? And then she said her name.

782
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 1: Please help a girl out. I'm up and down and

783
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:52,319
Speaker 1: around and around even more. This little brain can't handle it.

784
00:38:53,600 --> 00:39:02,279
Speaker 3: Whah, come on here, Okay this actually I think this

785
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:03,360
Speaker 3: is a relatable dilemma.

786
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:05,839
Speaker 1: I think so too. It's talking about what we were

787
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 1: talking about on Monday in a relationship perspective, the grass

788
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:13,399
Speaker 1: is always greener. You're saying, like you've only known your

789
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 1: boyfriend and like, in a sense, that's also like is

790
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 1: something else better or is it different? What does it

791
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,239
Speaker 1: feel like? And that's like human nature.

792
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 3: At its core or one hundred percent.

793
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that is so relatable and you're human to

794
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:35,840
Speaker 1: have that feeling, and I think it's tricky.

795
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:43,200
Speaker 2: I don't think you're a bad person for having fantasies. No, no,

796
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 2: But what you have to ask yourself is.

797
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:51,240
Speaker 1: How much do you value your boyfriend?

798
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:52,400
Speaker 3: Yeah?

799
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:55,600
Speaker 2: Good question. So you're twenty, she said, she's really fifteen

800
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 2: five years, so you're twenty. Obviously he was your first

801
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 2: for everything because you said yep, or you've known.

802
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 1: He couldn't know you're having these thoughts either.

803
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:07,520
Speaker 3: No, no, no, never been this up. It's okay to have

804
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:08,879
Speaker 3: these thoughts, but just never voice them.

805
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, And honestly, this happens a lot in relationships. Is

806
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,520
Speaker 1: this exact thing happens maybe not five years but high

807
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:18,400
Speaker 1: school sweetheart's perfect for each other and they're having the

808
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 1: best time ever. Everything's great, just assuming everything's great, and

809
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,799
Speaker 1: then one of you thinks, oh, maybe I want to

810
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 1: sleep with someone else because I've only ever had sex

811
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,480
Speaker 1: with this person. They do it. It's not what they

812
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 1: thought it would be, and they realize what they have

813
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 1: was really special, but they ruined it. And I don't

814
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 1: want this to happen to you.

815
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,280
Speaker 2: No, But it's so hard.

816
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:40,560
Speaker 1: But I'm also saying that there's no way of knowing

817
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,320
Speaker 1: you just basically maybe write a little pros and cons

818
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 1: list of like it sounds so simple everything your boyfriend

819
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,360
Speaker 1: has to offer. If it's this perfect relationship where you

820
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,480
Speaker 1: could spend the rest of your life with him, obviously

821
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 1: don't sleep with him. But if there's all these problems

822
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 1: in there that, like the little things that are adding up,

823
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 1: maybe assess the problems and if you can't deal with them,

824
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:00,840
Speaker 1: break up with him, sleep with him and sleep with

825
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:02,839
Speaker 1: someone else because you have an these thoughts. The thoughts

826
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,399
Speaker 1: are valid. But if he's this perfect guy, definitely don't

827
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,240
Speaker 1: do it and don't sprow away something that's so special

828
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:10,600
Speaker 1: to you. But only you can make up that decision

829
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:11,080
Speaker 1: in your mind.

830
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, look, I don't know.

831
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 2: I mean fuck thinking about like I'm just like, as

832
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 2: you were saying that, I was just thinking, like, imagine

833
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 2: your fucking like Beth is just like at work making

834
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:28,120
Speaker 2: a pros and cons list because she thinks she wants

835
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:29,400
Speaker 2: to fuck another dude.

836
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 1: Is it too late? Okay?

837
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:49,319
Speaker 2: But here's what I think, genuinely right, it is your life, Okay.

838
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 3: In the end, like genuinely. You know, you're twenty twenty

839
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 3: years old. It actually doesn't really matter what you do

840
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 3: as long as you are okay with what you do.

841
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 3: M whatever decision you make.

842
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 2: Okay, let's say you choose to stay with your boyfriend.

843
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 2: Do not ever ever make that his problem, Okay, because

844
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 2: you have chosen to stay with him. Yeah, that's what

845
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 2: I trying to say, Like, don't get resentment because you

846
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:27,839
Speaker 2: chose to stay with him and not go fuck this guy.

847
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:31,759
Speaker 2: But if you go the other way and you're like,

848
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 2: fuck it, I want a bit of freedom. I'm twenty

849
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 2: everyone does. We wouldn't judge you for wanting that. It

850
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 2: is what it is, as long as you do the

851
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:40,920
Speaker 2: right thing by your boyfriend and break up with him

852
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 2: before it happens. And then you do go fuck this

853
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 2: guy and it sucks and you're like, ah shit, and

854
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:52,320
Speaker 2: then you're going through the breakup.

855
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:53,839
Speaker 1: It might also be like what you wanted.

856
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:56,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, if it's regardless, but yeah, but like if it

857
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:59,840
Speaker 2: sucks and and you're kind of like.

858
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:04,759
Speaker 3: Fuck, like shit, my boyfriend is actually pretty good. I

859
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:05,279
Speaker 3: miss him.

860
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:08,279
Speaker 2: You have to sit with the fact that you chose

861
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 2: to leave him because you can't go fucking around with

862
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:14,399
Speaker 2: his feelings because it's not fair. So yeah, what I'm

863
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,319
Speaker 2: saying is it doesn't really like it doesn't matter to

864
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,960
Speaker 2: anyone apart from you. I understand that your boyfriend's gonna

865
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 2: be hurt if you break up, but like you have

866
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 2: to go through with it, and you have to go

867
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:26,200
Speaker 2: through that door and close it behind you.

868
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:28,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that answer, bet of mine.

869
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:32,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's what That's just what I think.

870
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 1: Like, No, it's also playing on the fact that it's

871
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 1: also okay. I want to say it's okay to not

872
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:44,359
Speaker 1: want to be with someone even if they are a

873
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 1: good a good person. It's like playing on what we

874
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:50,239
Speaker 1: talked about the other day, like feeling sad when everything's good.

875
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,279
Speaker 1: Like I feel like a lot of people think they

876
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:55,839
Speaker 1: have to have something wrong with their partner to break

877
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:59,359
Speaker 1: up with them. That's a good point, a yeah, when

878
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: like it's okay two want more for yourself even when

879
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 1: you have a really good partner and realize that he

880
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 1: can't give you what you want. It's a hard thing

881
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:11,880
Speaker 1: to accept.

882
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 3: It's a very mature thing to find out.

883
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like you just have to explain that to

884
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 1: your partner when you break up. With him. But I

885
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 1: think that's okay as well. Like at I fully agree,

886
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:24,200
Speaker 1: a lot of people just think there has to be

887
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:26,319
Speaker 1: a reason and they stand in a relationship because of that.

888
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:28,560
Speaker 1: But what Jake said, whether it's going on, what's this?

889
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 1: What's the saying like, whatever cake you bake, you have

890
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 1: to eat it? Is that right?

891
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 3: Whatever cake you bake you have to eat it.

892
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:38,440
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's right or you made your head.

893
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:40,839
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, you've got to sleep in the bed,

894
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:43,280
Speaker 2: You've made that type of one. But if you whatever

895
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 2: cake you bake, you gotta eat the same thing.

896
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:47,799
Speaker 1: It's one I don't know if I came out that

897
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:51,439
Speaker 1: one I have, I had something else someone to say,

898
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 1: like fuck, what was it?

899
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, one more thing is like.

900
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:58,840
Speaker 2: It's also very normal to go through phases in a

901
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:00,520
Speaker 2: relationship where you dislike your partner.

902
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

903
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:04,399
Speaker 2: That's not trying to tell you how you're currently feeling,

904
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:06,600
Speaker 2: but it is like I like to reassure people that

905
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:07,200
Speaker 2: that's the thing that.

906
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 1: I'll finish the whole episode on another analogy, because I've

907
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 1: got him in my head. You can either make your

908
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 1: bed with him in it, or you can make your

909
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 1: bed by yourself with someone else sleeping in it?

910
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 3: What the fuck was that was terrible?

911
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:27,799
Speaker 1: Come on, well that makes sense.

912
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 2: You literally didn't actually have that thought out until it

913
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 2: started coming out of your mouth.

914
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:32,839
Speaker 1: Did you start was good?

915
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 2: No?

916
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:34,759
Speaker 1: I had the start bit where it was.

917
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 3: Like, so you thought yourself is what happened with you

918
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:38,759
Speaker 3: in your head was?

919
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:41,600
Speaker 1: Oh, you can make your bed with him in it.

920
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 3: That's good.

921
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:43,360
Speaker 1: There's got to be something off that.

922
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,040
Speaker 3: I'll start talking and see what.

923
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,680
Speaker 1: Let me go for the second. So you can even

924
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 1: make it, make your bed with your boyfriend in it? Oh,

925
00:45:54,600 --> 00:46:03,920
Speaker 1: you can get this couple? Or yeah you maybe this

926
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 1: is no, this isn't. Maybe you you don't make your

927
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 1: bed for a while until you figure out what you

928
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:29,120
Speaker 1: want A fuck me, good eye, Mike or d You're welcome.

929
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 1: See I bet that help