WEBVTT - Touching Kim Kardashians butt and parenting with chronic health issues 0:00:06.760 --> 0:00:13.720 It's our chronic with brook and Mounties today. 0:00:13.840 --> 0:00:18.960 Brookie, I was just waiting for your beautiful tones. 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:21.239 I know it's dulcet tones. 0:00:21.760 --> 0:00:27.000 I'm Monty and I have chronic fatigue, chronic migraines and 0:00:27.280 --> 0:00:28.280 pot syndrome. 0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:31.120 God do you want to metal? I know I do 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:34.560 it actually, and I'm Brooke and I have multiple sclerosis 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:38.720 and chronic fatigue and indomititiosis and everything else. 0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:41.319 Anyway, we'll start every podcast with that, just so if 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:44.120 you knew, you know, all these girls are legit sitch. 0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:48.680 This podcast is all about chronic health because if you 0:00:49.280 --> 0:00:52.680 don't laugh, you'll cry, which we do plenty of boys anyway, 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:54.920 So we love to hear from you guys. We want 0:00:54.960 --> 0:00:57.560 you to message our Show and Tell Podcasts is where 0:00:57.600 --> 0:00:59.320 you can find us on Instagram, and we want to 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:03.360 hear any questions, any thoughts, anything like that. Hit us 0:01:03.440 --> 0:01:06.640 up and we'll get to one of your questions really soon. 0:01:06.720 --> 0:01:10.000 But I just want to start chooking with my thirteen 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:13.240 year old boy. BackStar is so into music. 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:14.559 Like all he does. 0:01:14.600 --> 0:01:17.720 He's got this hoverboard which drives me fucking bonkers. He 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:21.000 just hovers around the house with his headphones on singing, 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:24.080 and it's so beautiful because it's a sign that he's 0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:28.360 happy when he's singing. But he's sing so loud that 0:01:28.440 --> 0:01:30.240 it does my head in. So I'll be trying to 0:01:30.280 --> 0:01:32.200 have a nap and I'll just hear him belting out 0:01:32.200 --> 0:01:33.440 a tune and I'm like, just let. 0:01:33.520 --> 0:01:35.119 Him go any good. I'll let him right. 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:37.640 He can hold a tune better than me. But you 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:40.200 know when it's just like I just need silence, but 0:01:40.440 --> 0:01:43.200 I can't turn him down from singing. But he's got 0:01:43.200 --> 0:01:48.160 into Lenny Kravitz. Yeah, he taste is really eclectic. It's 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:50.880 way above his age. He's got his dad's music taste. 0:01:50.920 --> 0:01:55.200 So they completely connect over music, which is beautiful. But 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:58.320 I've told this story on Show and Tale before with 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:00.640 Mal but I want to tell it again now because 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:02.120 you haven't heard it, and I'm sure a lot of 0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:05.600 you haven't as well. But it's about Lenny Kravitz. This 0:02:05.680 --> 0:02:07.880 is Leni Kravitz story. He was on my Instagram the 0:02:07.960 --> 0:02:11.880 other day. The guy's sixty. He's so ripped and still 0:02:12.120 --> 0:02:14.639 so hot. I mean, he's the size, he's a good man. 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:17.360 He's the size of a poly pocket though, like you 0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:19.640 could literally perch him on your shoulder like a parrot. 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:20.520 He's so tiny. 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:24.280 Have you ever interviewed No, but my friend. 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:28.400 Kez who is was a producer at a radio station, 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:32.280 like it was Fox FM, which is TODAYFM, and I 0:02:32.320 --> 0:02:35.120 don't know the other ones anyway, So she was a producer. 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:37.160 I forget what team she was working on at the time, 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:40.919 but Lenny Kravitz was coming to be interviewed. 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:42.400 So normally with. 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:45.920 A stark kind of that caliber, you normally would go 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:49.399 to a hotel room, remember those junkets. Yeah, when you'd 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:52.120 go to a hotel room, they'd have cameras set up 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:55.560 for a TV and also radio. You'd take your gear 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:59.160 and you'd chat to the celebrity. You'd get sometimes like 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:01.720 three minus to talk to them. 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:02.280 Yeah. 0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:06.160 Yeah, the big stars generally do that. Although Kim Kardashian. 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:09.480 We interviewed Kim Kardashian on The Circle at Channel ten 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:13.920 and she came into the studio and was bloody lovely, 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:16.720 like so sweet when everyone touch her bar. 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:18.600 Did you touch it or did someone touch it? 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:21.400 No, but Chrissy did. Christis one who was one of 0:03:21.440 --> 0:03:22.160 the hosts on the shows. 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:24.519 She touched her, but she wasn't as huge like, there's 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:26.720 no way she would come in now, she wasn't as huge. 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:29.320 It was the same as the first time Lady Gaga 0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:31.960 toured for the Pussy Cap Doles. She came into the studio, 0:03:32.520 --> 0:03:34.280 she was so awesome. I was doing a show with 0:03:34.360 --> 0:03:36.560 Ryan and Whipper at the time, and she her right 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:39.280 Whipper were just eating lollies and really connected. She went 0:03:39.320 --> 0:03:41.600 over the road to the food court with her team 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:45.320 and got food. Then the next time she came, literally 0:03:45.360 --> 0:03:48.600 twelve months later, we had to move our whole show 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:49.240 to rob. 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:52.520 Laver Arena, a big arena in Melbourne. Wait at the back. 0:03:52.720 --> 0:03:54.080 Our show finished at six. 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:59.080 She didn't come in until like seven, and she was 0:03:59.120 --> 0:04:00.600 still epic awesome. 0:04:00.640 --> 0:04:03.400 But it's like within a year it just totally changed. 0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:04.520 That's such a shit. 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:04.920 Anyway. 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:07.880 The thing is with Lenny Kravitz, he came into the 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:13.080 studio and he had a huge entourage, and so Kerrie 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:15.880 as the producer, went out to meet them all and 0:04:15.920 --> 0:04:18.440 then was going to escort them into the studio to 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:21.360 meet the talent and do the interview. So she walks 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:23.640 out and she said there was like ten of them. 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:27.400 So she went up and she shook the hand of 0:04:27.839 --> 0:04:30.919 like Lenny's pa, And as soon as she started to 0:04:30.960 --> 0:04:32.960 shake the hand, she's like, shit, I've got a lot 0:04:33.000 --> 0:04:35.080 of handshakes I've got to do here. No, so she 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:38.520 went along and shook the hand of every person there, 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:42.160 and then Lenny's sitting on the chair looking down at 0:04:42.160 --> 0:04:45.760 his phone, and he gazed up and then put his 0:04:45.800 --> 0:04:48.960 head down. Kerry put her hand out to shake his hand, 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:52.560 and he just lifted up his phone and Kerry reached 0:04:52.600 --> 0:04:54.760 out and just shook his phone. 0:04:55.960 --> 0:05:01.520 Ah, how embarrassing is that she shook his phone? Like 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:03.160 did he put his phone up? Because if to say, 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:03.920 I don't want to shake his. 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:06.359 Hand, Yeah, he had his phone in his hand. He 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:08.880 didn't even look at it and lifted his hand with 0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:09.960 the phone in it, and she. 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:11.960 Just grabbed the hand and gave it like a two 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:14.440 shake and then was mortified. 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:16.520 All she could think of the whole interview was I 0:05:16.640 --> 0:05:19.320 just shook Lanny's phone, Like, I just shook his phone. 0:05:19.120 --> 0:05:24.760 In stud his hand, the poor thing. But look, I 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:27.799 have to say I get it. Like, you know, having 0:05:28.120 --> 0:05:31.880 been a producer TV radio for a long time, it 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:34.880 can be awkward sometimes when you have these big stars 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:37.960 coming and you don't know quite you know how they're 0:05:37.960 --> 0:05:40.560 going to respond and react and you do say. 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:41.080 Some weird shit. 0:05:41.240 --> 0:05:44.880 Totally, it's just so awkward. Yes, it's so awkward. And 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:48.240 sometimes they don't make you feel very comfortable, so there's 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:50.120 like it can be a bit awkward. So I mean, 0:05:50.120 --> 0:05:51.960 I'm sure I've done many awkward things like that. 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:53.040 So yeah, I. 0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:55.680 Would over talk and try and be their friends, like 0:05:55.800 --> 0:05:58.120 kind of swear and show them that we will you know. 0:05:58.480 --> 0:06:00.919 The last and so whatever on our show. 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:04.479 So funny, do you remember that time we had Liz 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:05.640 Cambridge on? 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:09.880 Yes, so the basketballer. Oh my god. 0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:13.200 Oh god, this is like I don't even know where 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:14.920 this came from. But we were having her on the 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:18.360 show and we were chatting beforehand about how tall she is. 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:21.640 Obviously she's a basketball player, she's tall, and I remember 0:06:21.680 --> 0:06:24.359 you saying, let's not make sure we don't comment on 0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:26.120 how tall she is because that would be so annoying, 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:26.600 you know what. 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:30.480 Hold on, she walks into her manager said. 0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:33.000 You will be gone away by how tall she is, 0:06:33.360 --> 0:06:37.200 so please don't mention it. So this was I not 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:39.120 there for that brain with the one who was speaking 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:41.640 to the manager. So you go and answer my front 0:06:41.680 --> 0:06:43.840 door because This is when we were doing interviews with 0:06:44.040 --> 0:06:46.320 well known women on my couch at home, like we 0:06:46.320 --> 0:06:50.160 were videos. Yep, like budget, we would put the camera 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:52.160 up on my kids high chair. 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:57.120 So biokie, you go and answer the door. What happened? 0:06:57.960 --> 0:07:00.840 I do? I answered the door and the first thing 0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:03.880 I say is, oh my god, you're so tall. 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:07.839 And of course, as if she hasn't heard that, what 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:08.600 are more on? 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:11.560 Oh my god? And then I literally spent the rest 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:13.240 of the interview just going, oh my god, why the 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:16.480 hell that idiot not believe it? 0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:19.240 That's all I thought about the whole interview as well, 0:07:19.440 --> 0:07:21.080 Oh my god, it's so funny. 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:22.600 So embarrassing. 0:07:23.200 --> 0:07:25.520 Anyway, I've got to tell back Sat. I remember to 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:28.559 tell him that Lenny Kravitz story. But let's get into 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:30.800 like the chronic health side of you know. 0:07:31.720 --> 0:07:34.960 Oh yes, yep, the reason why we're here. Okay, Well, look, 0:07:35.040 --> 0:07:37.640 I received an email this week which I want to 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:41.440 read out. It's from a beautiful lady called Anna, and 0:07:41.480 --> 0:07:47.240 this is Anna's email. Hi girls, I've been recently diagnosed 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:50.040 with MS and I'm now pregnant. I've been wanting to 0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:52.320 have a baby for a long time, so I'm very excited, 0:07:52.880 --> 0:07:56.120 but that feeling of excitement is being overshadowed by fear. 0:07:56.400 --> 0:07:58.960 I'm really nervous about how I'll manage being a mom 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:02.040 with this disability. How do you both experience being a 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:03.640 mum with your conditions? 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:08.280 Do you have any tips? I ain't born with MS 0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:09.400 or does it come on? 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:15.800 No develops okay? Yeah? Yeah, And they don't know how 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:20.280 it develops, but it develops, but it's usually around the 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:24.960 ages of like twenty five to forty. Yeah, I've never 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:27.440 heard of like sometimes you might hear of a teenager, 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:30.480 like in their late teens, but usually it's like thirty 0:08:30.520 --> 0:08:31.440 year okay, Because. 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:33.800 I was wondering if something you're born with that's kind 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:36.800 of stagnant and then becomes active if you get older 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:40.800 or yeah, okay, but because you had your babies before 0:08:40.840 --> 0:08:44.440 you had MS, yes, right, yeah, So I. 0:08:44.520 --> 0:08:47.080 Really feel for you, Anna, because I know it's a 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:51.040 really tough decision. But I think as long as you've 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:53.959 got all your ducks in a row and you've got 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:58.440 a good support system, I think go ahead and do it. 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:01.280 Will it be easy? No? But is having a newborn 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:03.440 or a tolder or a child ever easy? 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:03.840 Like? 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:08.160 No, No, it's not easy anyway. But I think as 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:11.480 long as you have a good support system around you, 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:15.319 you're not afraid to ask for help. You know, when 0:09:15.320 --> 0:09:18.680 people offer help, say yes, put your hand up, and 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:21.640 take all the help you can get. I think it 0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:23.600 would be a real shame to miss out on that 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:25.080 experience of having a child. 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:27.960 Yeah, it's hard, isn't it, Because it is like parenting 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:32.079 is such a challenging thing on its own, So then 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:34.520 you throw your chronic health issues in the mist, and 0:09:34.559 --> 0:09:38.080 it's terrifying because I think also before you're doing it, 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:40.400 the thought of going, can I do this? How am 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:42.480 I going to get by? Am I going to be okay? 0:09:43.080 --> 0:09:45.360 I think the reality of it is you kind of 0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:49.000 have no choice when the baby born anyway to go, well. 0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:50.800 I've just got to do this. I've got to get through. 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:53.720 But I think it is putting those things in place 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:56.200 where it's like, Okay, I need to rest, I know 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:58.320 what I need to do in order to try and 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:01.840 minimize my flare ups. I need help, and you probably 0:10:01.840 --> 0:10:05.480 will need more help and more strategies than the average person. 0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:11.400 I don't have MS, but I find parenting extremely challenging 0:10:11.960 --> 0:10:15.280 because I feel like I have and this isn't to 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:17.600 turn you off. And oh my gosh, my children are older, 0:10:17.640 --> 0:10:20.360 and I found the baby stage just absolutely glorious. I'd 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:22.079 have a million babies, but as soon as they turn 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:23.080 to I'd give them away. 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:25.079 Oh for totally you. 0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:34.080 I find because I'm unwell and when my headaches aren't 0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:36.720 there where they come in patches and then I can 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:38.520 do that thing I spoke about the other week, where 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:39.880 I go to hospital and get rid of them for 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:43.560 a couple months. It's the fatigue that kills me. And 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:49.720 I find that being chronically tired zap's me of any resilience, 0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:56.200 any reserve, any compassion and patience. And I find it's 0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:58.400 almost sometimes when I'm talking to my kids, I have 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:02.319 this almost out of body experience where I hear myself 0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:05.400 and I'm like, that's you being that awful bitch to 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:08.280 your kids right now. And even though I know that 0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:11.920 I have such low capacity and I'm so disregulated so 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:14.760 much of the time because I have ADHD on top 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:18.880 of that, which can make you really disregulated, and I 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:24.199 just can I find, especially at the moment because I've 0:11:24.240 --> 0:11:27.479 got a teenager, and that brings a whole other ballgame 0:11:27.679 --> 0:11:33.240 of challenging issues like navigating puberty, navigating a whole lover 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:36.319 ballgame of emotional fuckness. 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:39.800 Yeah, I just find that I've got nothing there. 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:45.520 I'm soone empty and I keep going, Just find something 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:48.600 so you can be kinder. And you know, like this morning, 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:52.120 before we did this, I was feeling really disregulated. Baxter's 0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:56.080 home from school today and everything he was doing was 0:11:56.640 --> 0:11:59.920 upsetting me and irritating me. And then there's a ripple 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:03.120 effect because he needs me to help him regulate, and 0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:04.240 I'm so disregulated. 0:12:04.320 --> 0:12:06.440 I can't. I can't be a person for him. 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:08.440 So I went for a walk and as I'm walking, 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:11.280 I'm like, Okay, you've got this, you can do this. 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:14.000 And the endorphins helped me as soon as I walked 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:16.120 in the door. And two minutes later, I'm like, oh, 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:19.199 my spoon's are all gone again. I've got nothing left. 0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:21.640 Just going through those stages. 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:25.480 It's hard, but I think that's important to remember, too, right, 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:28.960 They are all stages. And when you're in these stages 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:31.720 sometimes you feel like they'll never pass, but they do, 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:32.600 they always do. 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:35.800 It's just so hard when you're in them, you know, 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:39.360 it's like, yeah, I just that's when I really resent 0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:43.360 my chronic house because I'm like, I feel like dealing 0:12:43.400 --> 0:12:46.480 with kids and their emotions and everything like that is 0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:50.160 hard enough for people, So then to have added stuff 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:52.160 on that you have to deal with and when it's 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:54.800 invisible and no one can see it and truly know 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:57.120 what's going on in your brain or your mind or 0:12:57.160 --> 0:13:01.360 how you're feeling, feels really isolated and really wanly, and 0:13:01.480 --> 0:13:04.520 it frustrates me. I find myself really angry. I do 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:06.880 think it's pairing me pause as well. Like Melan, I 0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:08.720 talk about this bit where I'm like, I feel like 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:10.679 Marian's going fucking insane. 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:14.720 Maybe, yeah, I'm sure they are. I'm sure they are. Yeah, 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:18.520 it's really it's a really tricky tricky thing. But first 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:22.480 and foremost, I would say, for the stage you're in now, Anna, 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:26.720 you need to have a really big important talk with 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:30.640 your partner, because you need to have a supportive partner 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:34.199 because she will hit the fan as it does, and 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:36.880 he might need to pick up the parenting batten or 0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:39.040 he you know, he might need to you know, do 0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:42.520 the drop offs and pickups or whatever. But I think 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:45.760 you need to have that really kind of real candid 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:49.120 conversation and make sure that you're on the same team 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:53.520 and that he expects that these things will come up 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:57.040 and is on board to make it all work. It 0:13:57.080 --> 0:14:00.880 can be really hard sometimes, like with all the activities 0:14:00.960 --> 0:14:05.199 kids have on after school and parties and whatever. And 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:09.360 I'm just slowly learning sometimes to say to my girls, no, 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:12.800 we can't commit to that because I know that I'm 0:14:12.800 --> 0:14:15.240 not going to be able to do it, and it's 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.360 hard to do that. But I was talking to someone 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:20.480 else recently who also has a chronic killners and she 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:23.000 is a mum of three girls, and she was saying, 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:25.920 like I say to them, you can do one sport 0:14:26.000 --> 0:14:28.680 or one instrumental, you know, whatever it is, but I 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:30.960 do not have the capacity to be able to run 0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:35.200 you around. And she said, the kids like, take it. 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:38.920 Running, that's good moment, Like they are you kidding men, 0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:40.720 Get in the car, bitch. 0:14:41.760 --> 0:14:44.600 But I think in general they want you to be well, 0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:48.120 like they want that more than anything. And so I 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:50.160 think if they think, you know, we're going to do 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:52.840 something potentially that's going to make you more unwell or 0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:55.480 more tied or whatever it is, they don't want to 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:56.080 do that either. 0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:58.600 It's funny, though, isn't it, Because then because of our 0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:00.760 chronic health, our kids miss out on a lot. 0:15:01.040 --> 0:15:03.840 Like I, yeah, you know, my middle. 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:06.560 Kid is so sport Alo is so sport crazy. He 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:09.440 has an activity on every night and I find that 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:12.240 I will drop him there, but I always rely on 0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:15.360 a parent to bring him home, which sometimes makes me 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:17.960 feel uncomfortable. Like last night, he had soccer practices in 0:15:18.000 --> 0:15:20.760 a new team, and I from the WhatsApp group. I 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:22.160 don't know a lot of the mums in there, and 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:23.880 I don't have any of their numbers save but I 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:25.960 found this one lady who lives near us, and I 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:27.760 reached out to her and I was like, can you 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:31.600 please bring Alo home? Which I felt kind of uncomfortable about. 0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:34.840 But I'm like, I can't stand at the trainings and 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:40.120 chit chat to people either, because that is so exhausting 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:43.480 to me. It's not just a driving and the logistics 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:45.760 of getting your kids places. It's like, oh, there's so 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:49.080 much social interaction around all of that as well, which 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:50.040 I might no chance. 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:54.040 Yeah, absolutely, but you need to rely on those people, 0:15:54.120 --> 0:15:56.120 you know, and you would do it for somebody else 0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:58.040 that was in a bad spot and you know, needed 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:00.720 help with drop offs and pickups and thing yeah. It's 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:04.680 also like I think another episode we should talk about 0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:09.320 chronic fatigue because it's just something that I think is 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:14.040 so not understood because people like they see you out 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:16.120 doing things and they think it's fine, or you know, 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:20.200 they organize a dinner at my God like APM go. 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:24.640 I think they don't get that it's not like being 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:27.120 really tired. It's not the same as being tired. But 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:29.160 we definitely shame because I. 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:31.600 Do think that chronic fatigue goes hand in hand with 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:33.680 most chronic illnesses. 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:34.160 Most chronic illnesses. 0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:35.720 Yeah, yeah, but I. 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:39.240 Think it is definitely leaning on that support network as well. 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:42.000 I would be completely stuffed. We've moved away from all 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:45.400 of our family so all and you have two trucks, 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:49.720 so all of our support network is friends and even 0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:54.640 like not even friends, but the kids, you know, they're friends, parents. 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:55.280 And stuff like that. 0:16:55.360 --> 0:16:58.200 Otherwise it just wouldn't get done, and it wouldn't get 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:01.640 done purely because of the capacity that we have. Do 0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:04.280 you find so exhausting when you see on your in 0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:07.200 your diary stuff that you have to get done? 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:10.160 Oh yeah, of course, which I. 0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:11.120 Know everyone does. 0:17:11.200 --> 0:17:11.960 It's overwhelmed. 0:17:12.920 --> 0:17:15.440 I'm like, if I've got one appointment for the day, 0:17:15.640 --> 0:17:18.760 and then I've got to drop all off to soccer. 0:17:18.840 --> 0:17:21.600 I'm like, that's a big day, that's exhausting. That's enough, 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:24.000 And I will never speak anything in the middle of 0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:26.560 the day because that is like strictly an appointment to 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:27.159 nap for me. 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:30.879 Yes, but I think that's really important. It's good that 0:17:31.000 --> 0:17:33.840 you recognize that and you know that, because it's taken 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:36.239 me a while to get to the place where I 0:17:36.359 --> 0:17:39.120 know that I if I do too much in a day, 0:17:39.160 --> 0:17:40.920 I'm going to pay for it for the next two 0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:43.160 days or three days and four days or however long, 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:46.800 and it's not it's not worth it. So I've slowly 0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:50.000 learning how to pace myself and what to kind of 0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:52.520 put my energy and time into. But it does. It 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:54.960 takes some time, but I think once you figure that out, 0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:58.159 you really have to kind of stay and stick to us. 0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:01.400 Yesterday I felt like it's where I have a whole 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:03.600 day where I've got energy, and I was like, I 0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:05.679 feel really good, like I'm maybe I'll going and do this, 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:07.719 maybe you're going and do that. But I forced myself 0:18:07.760 --> 0:18:10.199 to lay down, which is hard because then I know, 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:12.960 come four or five o'clock, I'm going to crash even 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:14.760 though I feel good during the day, But it's hard 0:18:14.800 --> 0:18:18.040 when you actually have the energy and feel good to 0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:21.280 stick to what you've set. You know that your rules 0:18:21.600 --> 0:18:23.720 set for yourself, but you just got to otherwise we 0:18:23.840 --> 0:18:27.440 just fall apart. We're fragile little bits, aren't we. 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:30.320 We are. The other thing an I'll just quickly mention 0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:35.320 is the ndis because it's a huge process. But the 0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:41.000 NDAs are amazing. And I've just recently been accepted for 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:43.120 the like for NDAs. 0:18:42.800 --> 0:18:43.800 I don't thought it went through. 0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:46.280 So did you get a good plan because sometimes they're 0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:48.320 so shit Again. 0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:52.160 No, they've been. It's amazing, Like they've been really amazing, 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:54.800 and they can help with like they can have like 0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:57.840 support workers for different all different kinds of things. But 0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:00.240 like if you need help around the house, you know, 0:19:00.280 --> 0:19:03.920 with cleaning and things like that, or depending on how 0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:07.800 your MS affects you, you can have like different help, 0:19:07.920 --> 0:19:10.720 you know, for different kinds of things. Like my hands 0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:14.920 don't work as well as they used to very well. 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:17.439 I mightn't have like any kind of sensation in my 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:19.800 hands and stuff, and so I used to love cooking. 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:22.639 I still do, but it takes me a lot longer. 0:19:23.320 --> 0:19:25.399 You know, it might take me like two hours to 0:19:25.760 --> 0:19:29.679 make dinner because I've got to chop and open things 0:19:29.760 --> 0:19:31.960 and stuff like that, you know, and it might have 0:19:32.160 --> 0:19:34.520 taken me, like, you know, half an hour or an 0:19:34.560 --> 0:19:36.880 hour before. So it takes a lot longer. And I'm 0:19:36.960 --> 0:19:39.080 finding that the girls get home from school and then 0:19:39.119 --> 0:19:41.880 I start making dinner, and then I don't get that 0:19:42.000 --> 0:19:44.120 time with them, and I don't you know, I miss 0:19:44.160 --> 0:19:47.000