Speaker 1: It's our chronic with brook and Mounties today.
Speaker 2: Brookie, I was just waiting for your beautiful tones.
Speaker 1: I know it's dulcet tones.
Speaker 3: I'm Monty and I have chronic fatigue, chronic migraines and
Speaker 3: pot syndrome.
Speaker 2: God do you want to metal? I know I do
Speaker 2: it actually, and I'm Brooke and I have multiple sclerosis
Speaker 2: and chronic fatigue and indomititiosis and everything else.
Speaker 3: Anyway, we'll start every podcast with that, just so if
Speaker 3: you knew, you know, all these girls are legit sitch.
Speaker 3: This podcast is all about chronic health because if you
Speaker 3: don't laugh, you'll cry, which we do plenty of boys anyway,
Speaker 3: So we love to hear from you guys. We want
Speaker 3: you to message our Show and Tell Podcasts is where
Speaker 3: you can find us on Instagram, and we want to
Speaker 3: hear any questions, any thoughts, anything like that. Hit us
Speaker 3: up and we'll get to one of your questions really soon.
Speaker 3: But I just want to start chooking with my thirteen
Speaker 3: year old boy. BackStar is so into music.
Speaker 1: Like all he does.
Speaker 3: He's got this hoverboard which drives me fucking bonkers. He
Speaker 3: just hovers around the house with his headphones on singing,
Speaker 3: and it's so beautiful because it's a sign that he's
Speaker 3: happy when he's singing. But he's sing so loud that
Speaker 3: it does my head in. So I'll be trying to
Speaker 3: have a nap and I'll just hear him belting out
Speaker 3: a tune and I'm like, just let.
Speaker 2: Him go any good. I'll let him right.
Speaker 3: He can hold a tune better than me. But you
Speaker 3: know when it's just like I just need silence, but
Speaker 3: I can't turn him down from singing. But he's got
Speaker 3: into Lenny Kravitz. Yeah, he taste is really eclectic. It's
Speaker 3: way above his age. He's got his dad's music taste.
Speaker 3: So they completely connect over music, which is beautiful. But
Speaker 3: I've told this story on Show and Tale before with
Speaker 3: Mal but I want to tell it again now because
Speaker 3: you haven't heard it, and I'm sure a lot of
Speaker 3: you haven't as well. But it's about Lenny Kravitz. This
Speaker 3: is Leni Kravitz story. He was on my Instagram the
Speaker 3: other day. The guy's sixty. He's so ripped and still
Speaker 3: so hot. I mean, he's the size, he's a good man.
Speaker 3: He's the size of a poly pocket though, like you
Speaker 3: could literally perch him on your shoulder like a parrot.
Speaker 1: He's so tiny.
Speaker 2: Have you ever interviewed No, but my friend.
Speaker 3: Kez who is was a producer at a radio station,
Speaker 3: like it was Fox FM, which is TODAYFM, and I
Speaker 3: don't know the other ones anyway, So she was a producer.
Speaker 3: I forget what team she was working on at the time,
Speaker 3: but Lenny Kravitz was coming to be interviewed.
Speaker 1: So normally with.
Speaker 3: A stark kind of that caliber, you normally would go
Speaker 3: to a hotel room, remember those junkets. Yeah, when you'd
Speaker 3: go to a hotel room, they'd have cameras set up
Speaker 3: for a TV and also radio. You'd take your gear
Speaker 3: and you'd chat to the celebrity. You'd get sometimes like
Speaker 3: three minus to talk to them.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the big stars generally do that. Although Kim Kardashian.
Speaker 2: We interviewed Kim Kardashian on The Circle at Channel ten
Speaker 2: and she came into the studio and was bloody lovely,
Speaker 2: like so sweet when everyone touch her bar.
Speaker 1: Did you touch it or did someone touch it?
Speaker 2: No, but Chrissy did. Christis one who was one of
Speaker 2: the hosts on the shows.
Speaker 3: She touched her, but she wasn't as huge like, there's
Speaker 3: no way she would come in now, she wasn't as huge.
Speaker 3: It was the same as the first time Lady Gaga
Speaker 3: toured for the Pussy Cap Doles. She came into the studio,
Speaker 3: she was so awesome. I was doing a show with
Speaker 3: Ryan and Whipper at the time, and she her right
Speaker 3: Whipper were just eating lollies and really connected. She went
Speaker 3: over the road to the food court with her team
Speaker 3: and got food. Then the next time she came, literally
Speaker 3: twelve months later, we had to move our whole show
Speaker 3: to rob.
Speaker 1: Laver Arena, a big arena in Melbourne. Wait at the back.
Speaker 1: Our show finished at six.
Speaker 3: She didn't come in until like seven, and she was
Speaker 3: still epic awesome.
Speaker 1: But it's like within a year it just totally changed.
Speaker 2: That's such a shit.
Speaker 1: Anyway.
Speaker 3: The thing is with Lenny Kravitz, he came into the
Speaker 3: studio and he had a huge entourage, and so Kerrie
Speaker 3: as the producer, went out to meet them all and
Speaker 3: then was going to escort them into the studio to
Speaker 3: meet the talent and do the interview. So she walks
Speaker 3: out and she said there was like ten of them.
Speaker 3: So she went up and she shook the hand of
Speaker 3: like Lenny's pa, And as soon as she started to
Speaker 3: shake the hand, she's like, shit, I've got a lot
Speaker 3: of handshakes I've got to do here. No, so she
Speaker 3: went along and shook the hand of every person there,
Speaker 3: and then Lenny's sitting on the chair looking down at
Speaker 3: his phone, and he gazed up and then put his
Speaker 3: head down. Kerry put her hand out to shake his hand,
Speaker 3: and he just lifted up his phone and Kerry reached
Speaker 3: out and just shook his phone.
Speaker 2: Ah, how embarrassing is that she shook his phone? Like
Speaker 2: did he put his phone up? Because if to say,
Speaker 2: I don't want to shake his.
Speaker 3: Hand, Yeah, he had his phone in his hand. He
Speaker 3: didn't even look at it and lifted his hand with
Speaker 3: the phone in it, and she.
Speaker 1: Just grabbed the hand and gave it like a two
Speaker 1: shake and then was mortified.
Speaker 3: All she could think of the whole interview was I
Speaker 3: just shook Lanny's phone, Like, I just shook his phone.
Speaker 2: In stud his hand, the poor thing. But look, I
Speaker 2: have to say I get it. Like, you know, having
Speaker 2: been a producer TV radio for a long time, it
Speaker 2: can be awkward sometimes when you have these big stars
Speaker 2: coming and you don't know quite you know how they're
Speaker 2: going to respond and react and you do say.
Speaker 1: Some weird shit.
Speaker 2: Totally, it's just so awkward. Yes, it's so awkward. And
Speaker 2: sometimes they don't make you feel very comfortable, so there's
Speaker 2: like it can be a bit awkward. So I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm sure I've done many awkward things like that.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Would over talk and try and be their friends, like
Speaker 3: kind of swear and show them that we will you know.
Speaker 1: The last and so whatever on our show.
Speaker 2: So funny, do you remember that time we had Liz
Speaker 2: Cambridge on?
Speaker 1: Yes, so the basketballer. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Oh god, this is like I don't even know where
Speaker 2: this came from. But we were having her on the
Speaker 2: show and we were chatting beforehand about how tall she is.
Speaker 2: Obviously she's a basketball player, she's tall, and I remember
Speaker 2: you saying, let's not make sure we don't comment on
Speaker 2: how tall she is because that would be so annoying,
Speaker 2: you know what.
Speaker 1: Hold on, she walks into her manager said.
Speaker 3: You will be gone away by how tall she is,
Speaker 3: so please don't mention it. So this was I not
Speaker 3: there for that brain with the one who was speaking
Speaker 3: to the manager. So you go and answer my front
Speaker 3: door because This is when we were doing interviews with
Speaker 3: well known women on my couch at home, like we
Speaker 3: were videos. Yep, like budget, we would put the camera
Speaker 3: up on my kids high chair.
Speaker 1: So biokie, you go and answer the door. What happened?
Speaker 2: I do? I answered the door and the first thing
Speaker 2: I say is, oh my god, you're so tall.
Speaker 1: And of course, as if she hasn't heard that, what
Speaker 1: are more on?
Speaker 2: Oh my god? And then I literally spent the rest
Speaker 2: of the interview just going, oh my god, why the
Speaker 2: hell that idiot not believe it?
Speaker 3: That's all I thought about the whole interview as well,
Speaker 3: Oh my god, it's so funny.
Speaker 2: So embarrassing.
Speaker 3: Anyway, I've got to tell back Sat. I remember to
Speaker 3: tell him that Lenny Kravitz story. But let's get into
Speaker 3: like the chronic health side of you know.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, yep, the reason why we're here. Okay, Well, look,
Speaker 2: I received an email this week which I want to
Speaker 2: read out. It's from a beautiful lady called Anna, and
Speaker 2: this is Anna's email. Hi girls, I've been recently diagnosed
Speaker 2: with MS and I'm now pregnant. I've been wanting to
Speaker 2: have a baby for a long time, so I'm very excited,
Speaker 2: but that feeling of excitement is being overshadowed by fear.
Speaker 2: I'm really nervous about how I'll manage being a mom
Speaker 2: with this disability. How do you both experience being a
Speaker 2: mum with your conditions?
Speaker 1: Do you have any tips? I ain't born with MS
Speaker 1: or does it come on?
Speaker 2: No develops okay? Yeah? Yeah, And they don't know how
Speaker 2: it develops, but it develops, but it's usually around the
Speaker 2: ages of like twenty five to forty. Yeah, I've never
Speaker 2: heard of like sometimes you might hear of a teenager,
Speaker 2: like in their late teens, but usually it's like thirty
Speaker 2: year okay, Because.
Speaker 3: I was wondering if something you're born with that's kind
Speaker 3: of stagnant and then becomes active if you get older
Speaker 3: or yeah, okay, but because you had your babies before
Speaker 3: you had MS, yes, right, yeah, So I.
Speaker 2: Really feel for you, Anna, because I know it's a
Speaker 2: really tough decision. But I think as long as you've
Speaker 2: got all your ducks in a row and you've got
Speaker 2: a good support system, I think go ahead and do it.
Speaker 2: Will it be easy? No? But is having a newborn
Speaker 2: or a tolder or a child ever easy?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: No, No, it's not easy anyway. But I think as
Speaker 2: long as you have a good support system around you,
Speaker 2: you're not afraid to ask for help. You know, when
Speaker 2: people offer help, say yes, put your hand up, and
Speaker 2: take all the help you can get. I think it
Speaker 2: would be a real shame to miss out on that
Speaker 2: experience of having a child.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's hard, isn't it, Because it is like parenting
Speaker 3: is such a challenging thing on its own, So then
Speaker 3: you throw your chronic health issues in the mist, and
Speaker 3: it's terrifying because I think also before you're doing it,
Speaker 3: the thought of going, can I do this? How am
Speaker 3: I going to get by? Am I going to be okay?
Speaker 3: I think the reality of it is you kind of
Speaker 3: have no choice when the baby born anyway to go, well.
Speaker 1: I've just got to do this. I've got to get through.
Speaker 3: But I think it is putting those things in place
Speaker 3: where it's like, Okay, I need to rest, I know
Speaker 3: what I need to do in order to try and
Speaker 3: minimize my flare ups. I need help, and you probably
Speaker 3: will need more help and more strategies than the average person.
Speaker 3: I don't have MS, but I find parenting extremely challenging
Speaker 3: because I feel like I have and this isn't to
Speaker 3: turn you off. And oh my gosh, my children are older,
Speaker 3: and I found the baby stage just absolutely glorious. I'd
Speaker 3: have a million babies, but as soon as they turn
Speaker 3: to I'd give them away.
Speaker 2: Oh for totally you.
Speaker 3: I find because I'm unwell and when my headaches aren't
Speaker 3: there where they come in patches and then I can
Speaker 3: do that thing I spoke about the other week, where
Speaker 3: I go to hospital and get rid of them for
Speaker 3: a couple months. It's the fatigue that kills me. And
Speaker 3: I find that being chronically tired zap's me of any resilience,
Speaker 3: any reserve, any compassion and patience. And I find it's
Speaker 3: almost sometimes when I'm talking to my kids, I have
Speaker 3: this almost out of body experience where I hear myself
Speaker 3: and I'm like, that's you being that awful bitch to
Speaker 3: your kids right now. And even though I know that
Speaker 3: I have such low capacity and I'm so disregulated so
Speaker 3: much of the time because I have ADHD on top
Speaker 3: of that, which can make you really disregulated, and I
Speaker 3: just can I find, especially at the moment because I've
Speaker 3: got a teenager, and that brings a whole other ballgame
Speaker 3: of challenging issues like navigating puberty, navigating a whole lover
Speaker 3: ballgame of emotional fuckness.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just find that I've got nothing there.
Speaker 3: I'm soone empty and I keep going, Just find something
Speaker 3: so you can be kinder. And you know, like this morning,
Speaker 3: before we did this, I was feeling really disregulated. Baxter's
Speaker 3: home from school today and everything he was doing was
Speaker 3: upsetting me and irritating me. And then there's a ripple
Speaker 3: effect because he needs me to help him regulate, and
Speaker 3: I'm so disregulated.
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't be a person for him.
Speaker 3: So I went for a walk and as I'm walking,
Speaker 3: I'm like, Okay, you've got this, you can do this.
Speaker 3: And the endorphins helped me as soon as I walked
Speaker 3: in the door. And two minutes later, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: my spoon's are all gone again. I've got nothing left.
Speaker 3: Just going through those stages.
Speaker 2: It's hard, but I think that's important to remember, too, right,
Speaker 2: They are all stages. And when you're in these stages
Speaker 2: sometimes you feel like they'll never pass, but they do,
Speaker 2: they always do.
Speaker 3: It's just so hard when you're in them, you know,
Speaker 3: it's like, yeah, I just that's when I really resent
Speaker 3: my chronic house because I'm like, I feel like dealing
Speaker 3: with kids and their emotions and everything like that is
Speaker 3: hard enough for people, So then to have added stuff
Speaker 3: on that you have to deal with and when it's
Speaker 3: invisible and no one can see it and truly know
Speaker 3: what's going on in your brain or your mind or
Speaker 3: how you're feeling, feels really isolated and really wanly, and
Speaker 3: it frustrates me. I find myself really angry. I do
Speaker 3: think it's pairing me pause as well. Like Melan, I
Speaker 3: talk about this bit where I'm like, I feel like
Speaker 3: Marian's going fucking insane.
Speaker 2: Maybe, yeah, I'm sure they are. I'm sure they are. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's really it's a really tricky tricky thing. But first
Speaker 2: and foremost, I would say, for the stage you're in now, Anna,
Speaker 2: you need to have a really big important talk with
Speaker 2: your partner, because you need to have a supportive partner
Speaker 2: because she will hit the fan as it does, and
Speaker 2: he might need to pick up the parenting batten or
Speaker 2: he you know, he might need to you know, do
Speaker 2: the drop offs and pickups or whatever. But I think
Speaker 2: you need to have that really kind of real candid
Speaker 2: conversation and make sure that you're on the same team
Speaker 2: and that he expects that these things will come up
Speaker 2: and is on board to make it all work. It
Speaker 2: can be really hard sometimes, like with all the activities
Speaker 2: kids have on after school and parties and whatever. And
Speaker 2: I'm just slowly learning sometimes to say to my girls, no,
Speaker 2: we can't commit to that because I know that I'm
Speaker 2: not going to be able to do it, and it's
Speaker 2: hard to do that. But I was talking to someone
Speaker 2: else recently who also has a chronic killners and she
Speaker 2: is a mum of three girls, and she was saying,
Speaker 2: like I say to them, you can do one sport
Speaker 2: or one instrumental, you know, whatever it is, but I
Speaker 2: do not have the capacity to be able to run
Speaker 2: you around. And she said, the kids like, take it.
Speaker 3: Running, that's good moment, Like they are you kidding men,
Speaker 3: Get in the car, bitch.
Speaker 2: But I think in general they want you to be well,
Speaker 2: like they want that more than anything. And so I
Speaker 2: think if they think, you know, we're going to do
Speaker 2: something potentially that's going to make you more unwell or
Speaker 2: more tied or whatever it is, they don't want to
Speaker 2: do that either.
Speaker 3: It's funny, though, isn't it, Because then because of our
Speaker 3: chronic health, our kids miss out on a lot.
Speaker 1: Like I, yeah, you know, my middle.
Speaker 3: Kid is so sport Alo is so sport crazy. He
Speaker 3: has an activity on every night and I find that
Speaker 3: I will drop him there, but I always rely on
Speaker 3: a parent to bring him home, which sometimes makes me
Speaker 3: feel uncomfortable. Like last night, he had soccer practices in
Speaker 3: a new team, and I from the WhatsApp group. I
Speaker 3: don't know a lot of the mums in there, and
Speaker 3: I don't have any of their numbers save but I
Speaker 3: found this one lady who lives near us, and I
Speaker 3: reached out to her and I was like, can you
Speaker 3: please bring Alo home? Which I felt kind of uncomfortable about.
Speaker 3: But I'm like, I can't stand at the trainings and
Speaker 3: chit chat to people either, because that is so exhausting
Speaker 3: to me. It's not just a driving and the logistics
Speaker 3: of getting your kids places. It's like, oh, there's so
Speaker 3: much social interaction around all of that as well, which
Speaker 3: I might no chance.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, but you need to rely on those people,
Speaker 2: you know, and you would do it for somebody else
Speaker 2: that was in a bad spot and you know, needed
Speaker 2: help with drop offs and pickups and thing yeah. It's
Speaker 2: also like I think another episode we should talk about
Speaker 2: chronic fatigue because it's just something that I think is
Speaker 2: so not understood because people like they see you out
Speaker 2: doing things and they think it's fine, or you know,
Speaker 2: they organize a dinner at my God like APM go.
Speaker 2: I think they don't get that it's not like being
Speaker 2: really tired. It's not the same as being tired. But
Speaker 2: we definitely shame because I.
Speaker 3: Do think that chronic fatigue goes hand in hand with
Speaker 3: most chronic illnesses.
Speaker 2: Most chronic illnesses.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but I.
Speaker 3: Think it is definitely leaning on that support network as well.
Speaker 3: I would be completely stuffed. We've moved away from all
Speaker 3: of our family so all and you have two trucks,
Speaker 3: so all of our support network is friends and even
Speaker 3: like not even friends, but the kids, you know, they're friends, parents.
Speaker 1: And stuff like that.
Speaker 3: Otherwise it just wouldn't get done, and it wouldn't get
Speaker 3: done purely because of the capacity that we have. Do
Speaker 3: you find so exhausting when you see on your in
Speaker 3: your diary stuff that you have to get done?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, of course, which I.
Speaker 1: Know everyone does.
Speaker 2: It's overwhelmed.
Speaker 3: I'm like, if I've got one appointment for the day,
Speaker 3: and then I've got to drop all off to soccer.
Speaker 3: I'm like, that's a big day, that's exhausting. That's enough,
Speaker 3: And I will never speak anything in the middle of
Speaker 3: the day because that is like strictly an appointment to
Speaker 3: nap for me.
Speaker 2: Yes, but I think that's really important. It's good that
Speaker 2: you recognize that and you know that, because it's taken
Speaker 2: me a while to get to the place where I
Speaker 2: know that I if I do too much in a day,
Speaker 2: I'm going to pay for it for the next two
Speaker 2: days or three days and four days or however long,
Speaker 2: and it's not it's not worth it. So I've slowly
Speaker 2: learning how to pace myself and what to kind of
Speaker 2: put my energy and time into. But it does. It
Speaker 2: takes some time, but I think once you figure that out,
Speaker 2: you really have to kind of stay and stick to us.
Speaker 3: Yesterday I felt like it's where I have a whole
Speaker 3: day where I've got energy, and I was like, I
Speaker 3: feel really good, like I'm maybe I'll going and do this,
Speaker 3: maybe you're going and do that. But I forced myself
Speaker 3: to lay down, which is hard because then I know,
Speaker 3: come four or five o'clock, I'm going to crash even
Speaker 3: though I feel good during the day, But it's hard
Speaker 3: when you actually have the energy and feel good to
Speaker 3: stick to what you've set. You know that your rules
Speaker 3: set for yourself, but you just got to otherwise we
Speaker 3: just fall apart. We're fragile little bits, aren't we.
Speaker 2: We are. The other thing an I'll just quickly mention
Speaker 2: is the ndis because it's a huge process. But the
Speaker 2: NDAs are amazing. And I've just recently been accepted for
Speaker 2: the like for NDAs.
Speaker 1: I don't thought it went through.
Speaker 3: So did you get a good plan because sometimes they're
Speaker 3: so shit Again.
Speaker 2: No, they've been. It's amazing, Like they've been really amazing,
Speaker 2: and they can help with like they can have like
Speaker 2: support workers for different all different kinds of things. But
Speaker 2: like if you need help around the house, you know,
Speaker 2: with cleaning and things like that, or depending on how
Speaker 2: your MS affects you, you can have like different help,
Speaker 2: you know, for different kinds of things. Like my hands
Speaker 2: don't work as well as they used to very well.
Speaker 2: I mightn't have like any kind of sensation in my
Speaker 2: hands and stuff, and so I used to love cooking.
Speaker 2: I still do, but it takes me a lot longer.
Speaker 2: You know, it might take me like two hours to
Speaker 2: make dinner because I've got to chop and open things
Speaker 2: and stuff like that, you know, and it might have
Speaker 2: taken me, like, you know, half an hour or an
Speaker 2: hour before. So it takes a lot longer. And I'm
Speaker 2: finding that the girls get home from school and then
Speaker 2: I start making dinner, and then I don't get that
Speaker 2: time with them, and I don't you know, I miss
Speaker 2: out on doing those things. So you know, someone can
Speaker 2: come and help you, like prepare meals and things like that.
Speaker 2: So you should definitely look into that. Talk to your
Speaker 2: neurologists about that. A lot of disabilities you can get
Speaker 2: you careful.
Speaker 3: You can't if you've got chronic migraines, even though completely
Speaker 3: makes you out of the game. The NDI is to
Speaker 3: recognize that such a punish anyway, Thank you so much
Speaker 3: for listening. We hope you're getting something out of this podcast,
Speaker 3: and share it with your friends and family.
Speaker 1: Give us a rating if you can.
Speaker 3: Wherever you listen to your podcasts, if you can just
Speaker 3: give us a rating or a comment, it helps us
Speaker 3: so much because we want this podcast to reach as
Speaker 3: many people with chronic illnesses as possible and send us.
Speaker 2: You want to help as many people totally.
Speaker 3: And send us a message. Our Instagram is Show and
Speaker 3: Tell Podcasts. We love getting voice messages. We love getting
Speaker 3: just messages for you. Any questions, any topics you want
Speaker 3: us to cover, Hit us up and we'll make sure
Speaker 3: we get to that and we'll chat to you very soon.
Speaker 1: Bye for now, Bye,