1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,241 Speaker 1: Apoda Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy 2 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:16,881 Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment. 3 00:00:16,441 --> 00:00:19,160 Speaker 2: And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most 4 00:00:19,201 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 2: authentic version of yourself. 5 00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 6 00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 7 00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:29,321 Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about. Get ready for 8 00:00:29,361 --> 00:00:32,480 Speaker 1: your next level of self. Hello everybody, Welcome back to 9 00:00:32,601 --> 00:00:36,441 Speaker 1: she Rises. A beautiful Wednesday morning, afternoon, midday evening. Wherever 10 00:00:36,481 --> 00:00:38,641 Speaker 1: you're watching this, We've got a pretty fun episode for 11 00:00:38,681 --> 00:00:39,121 Speaker 1: you today. 12 00:00:39,441 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 2: You absolute attention seeking saucy Minx. You did a lap 13 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,921 Speaker 2: dance and you posted on social media? Oh shoot me, 14 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,961 Speaker 2: how dare you? How dare you trigger the people? 15 00:00:50,361 --> 00:00:54,841 Speaker 1: Honestly, this was such a big ordeal, And you know what, 16 00:00:55,081 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: I was a little bit hesitant to post because I 17 00:00:57,241 --> 00:00:58,801 Speaker 1: knew that people were going to be triggered by this. 18 00:00:58,921 --> 00:01:02,161 Speaker 1: I knew it would bring pushback. I took it to you. 19 00:01:02,241 --> 00:01:03,281 Speaker 1: I took it to Steve. I was like, what do 20 00:01:03,321 --> 00:01:05,241 Speaker 1: you think about this caption? Yeah, posts and both you 21 00:01:05,481 --> 00:01:08,001 Speaker 1: like post the damn video. Since I showed Steve, he 22 00:01:08,081 --> 00:01:10,601 Speaker 1: was like, this is amazing like post it. So I 23 00:01:10,681 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 1: did straight away then, and I'm so glad I did. Now. 24 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,481 Speaker 1: There's many reasons why I posted this. There's a lot 25 00:01:15,481 --> 00:01:17,840 Speaker 1: of assumptions, and we're actually going to read out the 26 00:01:17,881 --> 00:01:21,481 Speaker 1: pushback comments, and before we go into those, I'm not 27 00:01:21,521 --> 00:01:24,481 Speaker 1: offended by them. They didn't touch me to the slightest. 28 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,761 Speaker 1: I feel completely neutral. If anything, I just had a 29 00:01:26,761 --> 00:01:29,481 Speaker 1: lot of compassion for these comments coming through because I 30 00:01:29,521 --> 00:01:32,481 Speaker 1: really understand how they're feeling. Yeah, because I used to 31 00:01:32,521 --> 00:01:35,321 Speaker 1: feel like that, But I suppose in a nutshell, the 32 00:01:35,401 --> 00:01:37,520 Speaker 1: last couple of years, I feel like I've been doing 33 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,560 Speaker 1: a lot of inner work and peeling back my layers 34 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,081 Speaker 1: and wanting to get to know who Ash is at 35 00:01:41,081 --> 00:01:44,241 Speaker 1: her core, and trying to undo the old conditioning that 36 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,201 Speaker 1: I put on myself for societies contributed to or my 37 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 1: upbringing and all that kind of stuff. As we all are. 38 00:01:50,121 --> 00:01:52,281 Speaker 1: And I feel like I've been surrounding myself with people 39 00:01:52,281 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: they're very open minded, and I'm very drawn to women 40 00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:58,761 Speaker 1: who are very authentic and are very sexually embodied. Yeah, 41 00:01:59,121 --> 00:02:01,481 Speaker 1: and when I say drawn to, yes, I'm drawn to 42 00:02:01,761 --> 00:02:05,681 Speaker 1: but equally it's triggered, right, I find quite challenging and 43 00:02:05,721 --> 00:02:08,201 Speaker 1: Megs He's been that for me our whole friendship. She's 44 00:02:08,321 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 1: very sexually embodied. She's a very sexual essential person. She's 45 00:02:11,201 --> 00:02:14,361 Speaker 1: very open, very fluid. She talks about it just like 46 00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 1: she talks about how she makes a sandwich, like it's 47 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,201 Speaker 1: just super casual and chill. And I kind of grew 48 00:02:19,281 --> 00:02:21,081 Speaker 1: up and put myself in a box of being the 49 00:02:21,121 --> 00:02:23,041 Speaker 1: good girl, not the slutty girl, not the dirty girl, 50 00:02:23,121 --> 00:02:25,641 Speaker 1: not the girl that sleeps around. I've only sat with 51 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,361 Speaker 1: three men, and I wanted my husband to feel special 52 00:02:28,401 --> 00:02:30,801 Speaker 1: and didn't want to be someone that everybody had access to. 53 00:02:30,881 --> 00:02:33,441 Speaker 1: I had this story of what that needed to look like. Yeah, 54 00:02:33,561 --> 00:02:36,041 Speaker 1: and now I realize it's obviously just all stories. I've 55 00:02:36,081 --> 00:02:38,281 Speaker 1: been trying to peel those back, and I don't know, 56 00:02:38,401 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 1: like the last what do you reckon? Like six months? 57 00:02:40,881 --> 00:02:43,481 Speaker 1: Six months? I would say, yeah, the last six minute journey. 58 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,761 Speaker 1: I've just been shedding all the shame that I've put 59 00:02:45,761 --> 00:02:48,881 Speaker 1: on myself. I've been exploring myself more. I think the 60 00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:52,921 Speaker 1: last maybe year or two, i've like self pleasured more 61 00:02:52,921 --> 00:02:55,561 Speaker 1: than I ever have been having beautiful experiences with myself, 62 00:02:55,841 --> 00:02:59,161 Speaker 1: deepening my connection and relationship with Steve, we've been talking 63 00:02:59,161 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 1: more about fantasies and just trying different things together because 64 00:03:02,001 --> 00:03:04,361 Speaker 1: we've been together seventeen years, and I believe in my 65 00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:07,161 Speaker 1: own experience so that it takes conscious effort to keep 66 00:03:07,201 --> 00:03:10,441 Speaker 1: that spark alive and to keep that fire in your relationship, 67 00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:13,921 Speaker 1: that passion, that pull, that magnetic like feel. I always 68 00:03:13,921 --> 00:03:15,800 Speaker 1: want that in my relationship, and I don't think it's 69 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,641 Speaker 1: something that's always going to naturally be there, especially in 70 00:03:18,721 --> 00:03:22,401 Speaker 1: seasons of parenthood and stress, growing a business, wearing all 71 00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:25,361 Speaker 1: the different hats, it can be really tough sometimes, So 72 00:03:25,481 --> 00:03:27,761 Speaker 1: something I've been very conscious of and so is Steve. 73 00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 1: And yeah, our intimate life, our relationship is better than ever. 74 00:03:31,601 --> 00:03:33,761 Speaker 1: And one thing I've always wanted to do once again. 75 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,441 Speaker 1: Magazine thought this years ago. I actually baby sat Sunny 76 00:03:36,441 --> 00:03:38,361 Speaker 1: when they went and did it, and I remember I 77 00:03:38,401 --> 00:03:40,001 Speaker 1: remember when she went to did the class. I remember 78 00:03:40,041 --> 00:03:43,361 Speaker 1: saying to her I would never do that. Steve would 79 00:03:43,401 --> 00:03:45,521 Speaker 1: never do that, and she's like, hey, cool, can you 80 00:03:45,521 --> 00:03:48,041 Speaker 1: watch Sunny for me? Though I was like yeah, after 81 00:03:48,081 --> 00:03:51,561 Speaker 1: you go, but I remember just like feeling, I don't know, 82 00:03:51,721 --> 00:03:53,561 Speaker 1: just feeling like, yeah, I would never do that. That 83 00:03:53,721 --> 00:03:56,561 Speaker 1: just seems like a lot, but I love watching their routine. 84 00:03:56,641 --> 00:03:58,801 Speaker 1: It was cool or whatever, and just I've just been 85 00:03:58,841 --> 00:04:00,401 Speaker 1: shedding the shame. So one thing I've always wanted to 86 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:02,881 Speaker 1: do is to do a class with Steve. A dance class. 87 00:04:03,001 --> 00:04:04,761 Speaker 1: Now he is not a dancer, he's got no rhythm. 88 00:04:05,041 --> 00:04:07,441 Speaker 1: I want to learn to dance. But these classes that 89 00:04:07,561 --> 00:04:10,601 Speaker 1: our dance teacher runs, he was by Misha, is a 90 00:04:10,601 --> 00:04:13,281 Speaker 1: couple's class where the girl learns the dance and then 91 00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:15,121 Speaker 1: the husband comes in and you perform it on them. 92 00:04:15,561 --> 00:04:17,441 Speaker 1: And our girlfriend Amy did it maybe like a year 93 00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:19,561 Speaker 1: or two ago, and ever since I saw her post hers, 94 00:04:19,601 --> 00:04:21,281 Speaker 1: I was like, I really want to do that. You've 95 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,361 Speaker 1: been talking about it for a while so long. And 96 00:04:23,401 --> 00:04:25,441 Speaker 1: then I was messaging my dance teacher, Misha. I was like, 97 00:04:25,481 --> 00:04:27,241 Speaker 1: please do one of these classes. Please do one of 98 00:04:27,241 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: these classes. She's like, what dates do you want? And 99 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,921 Speaker 1: I sent us some dates and finally she booked it in. 100 00:04:31,241 --> 00:04:33,521 Speaker 1: So I booked it in and it was the best 101 00:04:33,521 --> 00:04:35,521 Speaker 1: thing ever. It was so much fun. So we learned 102 00:04:35,521 --> 00:04:37,641 Speaker 1: the dance for forty five minutes on just a chair, 103 00:04:38,041 --> 00:04:39,841 Speaker 1: and then all the husbands and partners came in and 104 00:04:39,841 --> 00:04:42,241 Speaker 1: we performed it twice. For them fun in a room 105 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 1: full of everyone else. We're all in LAINGDERI like. Some 106 00:04:44,961 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 1: girls were in full g strings and a bra I 107 00:04:46,801 --> 00:04:49,721 Speaker 1: had like a body suit on. Some girls in stockings, 108 00:04:50,001 --> 00:04:51,921 Speaker 1: some girls are in active, rare, whatever you're comfortable with. 109 00:04:52,641 --> 00:04:55,841 Speaker 1: And it was just so empowering. I'm a dancer. I 110 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,281 Speaker 1: did dancing my whole life. I love performing. I love 111 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,961 Speaker 1: being in that energy, the lights on, everyone's in this beautiful, 112 00:05:00,961 --> 00:05:04,441 Speaker 1: like sensual fun vibe and it was so much fun. 113 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:08,521 Speaker 1: And Steve I loved it, absolutely loved it. I've danced 114 00:05:08,521 --> 00:05:10,841 Speaker 1: for him at home before, but I have felt a 115 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:13,721 Speaker 1: little bit like I don't know in my head, like 116 00:05:13,761 --> 00:05:15,401 Speaker 1: what if I get the moods wrong or I couldn't 117 00:05:15,401 --> 00:05:18,241 Speaker 1: slide around on the carpet, or space isn't right, Space 118 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:21,041 Speaker 1: wasn't right. The kids in the neck next door, the mood, Yeah, 119 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: the mood so being there it was just so empowering 120 00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:27,881 Speaker 1: and so beautiful and just yeah, connected us even more. 121 00:05:27,921 --> 00:05:28,881 Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my gosh, I wish we 122 00:05:28,921 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 1: could do this more often. And I've recorded it. Everyone 123 00:05:31,201 --> 00:05:35,441 Speaker 1: records their dance for their own personal use. Yeah, A 124 00:05:35,521 --> 00:05:38,840 Speaker 1: girl and I uploaded onto my stories, which felt edgy, 125 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,521 Speaker 1: but not as edgy as having on my page and 126 00:05:41,601 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 1: the feedback I got. I tell you what, in my 127 00:05:44,041 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 1: fifteen years of being online, I have never received so 128 00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:50,721 Speaker 1: much positive feedback. It was wild, But a lot of 129 00:05:50,761 --> 00:05:54,481 Speaker 1: it was curiosity. Oh my gosh, where did you do this? 130 00:05:54,561 --> 00:05:57,161 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, were you nervous? What did your husband think? 131 00:05:57,241 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: Was he nervous? How do you have the confidence to 132 00:05:59,521 --> 00:06:00,961 Speaker 1: do that? Where'd you get you out for it from? 133 00:06:01,041 --> 00:06:03,600 Speaker 1: Was it hard to learn the dance? Did anyone laugh 134 00:06:03,761 --> 00:06:05,681 Speaker 1: like I feel like I would have the confidence? Just 135 00:06:05,721 --> 00:06:08,401 Speaker 1: so many questions around or so for the next week, 136 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,001 Speaker 1: I struggled keep up. That would have been over a 137 00:06:10,041 --> 00:06:12,761 Speaker 1: thousand DMS. It was insane, But I loved replying to everyone. 138 00:06:12,801 --> 00:06:14,801 Speaker 1: I voice messaged so many women and just tried to 139 00:06:14,801 --> 00:06:17,001 Speaker 1: give them the courage to go and do something like 140 00:06:17,041 --> 00:06:20,081 Speaker 1: this because it's so beautiful. And then yeah, I posted 141 00:06:20,081 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: it on my actual page, and that's where the pushback 142 00:06:22,001 --> 00:06:24,801 Speaker 1: came through. And I was always waiting for it because 143 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:28,280 Speaker 1: I'm in this era of I'm almost wanting to invite 144 00:06:28,601 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 1: the uncomfortable, and this discomfort of my own triggers in 145 00:06:31,801 --> 00:06:34,561 Speaker 1: because when I get triggered, it's my invitation to heal it. 146 00:06:35,361 --> 00:06:38,160 Speaker 1: So we've spoken about other episodes, but even like healthy 147 00:06:38,201 --> 00:06:41,521 Speaker 1: jealousy within my relationship with Steve, when that arises, like 148 00:06:41,561 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 1: I want to see what's there for me? Like why 149 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,841 Speaker 1: do I feel like that? What am I making? That? Mean? 150 00:06:46,561 --> 00:06:48,561 Speaker 1: Is that my own stuff? Am I projecting onto him? 151 00:06:48,601 --> 00:06:50,841 Speaker 1: And I'd love to sit with that now and unpack it. 152 00:06:51,761 --> 00:06:53,361 Speaker 1: So Yeah, when the comments came through, which we're going 153 00:06:53,401 --> 00:06:55,921 Speaker 1: to read them out, it was just really interesting. And 154 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: like I said at the start, all these comments came through, 155 00:06:59,161 --> 00:07:01,641 Speaker 1: I had a lot of compassion because I was like, oh, fuck, 156 00:07:01,681 --> 00:07:04,481 Speaker 1: this is how I used to feel. I really hope 157 00:07:04,561 --> 00:07:07,321 Speaker 1: that whether it's in a month's time, six months time, 158 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,801 Speaker 1: or twelve months time, that women that made these comments 159 00:07:11,161 --> 00:07:12,961 Speaker 1: are going to step into this era where they get 160 00:07:12,961 --> 00:07:15,681 Speaker 1: to strip back their layers and peel the onion back 161 00:07:15,721 --> 00:07:17,641 Speaker 1: and find out what's underneath it for them, Because if 162 00:07:17,641 --> 00:07:20,761 Speaker 1: you're triggered or you're making these comments, there's a limiting 163 00:07:20,921 --> 00:07:23,401 Speaker 1: story as to why you can't feel that, be that 164 00:07:23,561 --> 00:07:25,641 Speaker 1: and do that, and all it does is hold you 165 00:07:25,721 --> 00:07:29,881 Speaker 1: back from experiencing more pleasure and experiencing more fun and 166 00:07:30,001 --> 00:07:32,921 Speaker 1: play and connection with yourself. Your body and your partner. 167 00:07:33,441 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 1: So we're going to read out some of the comments 168 00:07:34,841 --> 00:07:38,521 Speaker 1: and just like give our opinions. So just remember that 169 00:07:38,521 --> 00:07:40,921 Speaker 1: your triggers are not your truth, they are your teachers. 170 00:07:41,681 --> 00:07:43,561 Speaker 1: We've got written here too, which is really cool. Other 171 00:07:43,601 --> 00:07:47,161 Speaker 1: women's freedom isn't your threat, it's your invitation. Yeah, how powerful? 172 00:07:47,281 --> 00:07:48,001 Speaker 1: Is so beautiful? 173 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,961 Speaker 2: It's so true, such a beautiful opportunity for you to 174 00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:52,761 Speaker 2: grow within yourself as well. 175 00:07:52,801 --> 00:07:53,921 Speaker 1: It's like, how beautiful that. 176 00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:56,641 Speaker 2: You can utilize the things that you see in everyday 177 00:07:56,681 --> 00:07:59,241 Speaker 2: life and turn them into something that's productive for you 178 00:07:59,321 --> 00:08:01,481 Speaker 2: so that you can grow as a woman exactly. A 179 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,801 Speaker 2: conversation that we've been having a lot lately is that 180 00:08:03,841 --> 00:08:06,241 Speaker 2: a lot of women a limitted in their current lives 181 00:08:06,281 --> 00:08:08,401 Speaker 2: because they're disconnected from their sexual energy. 182 00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:11,521 Speaker 1: Yes, and that's a whole conversation in itself. So is 183 00:08:11,561 --> 00:08:13,601 Speaker 1: your sexual energy is just like your driving force that 184 00:08:13,641 --> 00:08:15,561 Speaker 1: makes you feel so alive, Like I can't tell you 185 00:08:15,601 --> 00:08:18,521 Speaker 1: how much we're lit up, happy and light I feel. 186 00:08:18,961 --> 00:08:20,521 Speaker 1: I said this in a post that I wrote to 187 00:08:21,161 --> 00:08:23,041 Speaker 1: now that I don't judge myself for it, and I 188 00:08:23,081 --> 00:08:26,241 Speaker 1: feel free to fully express I have zero judgment for 189 00:08:26,281 --> 00:08:28,241 Speaker 1: any other woman and how they express themselves. I could 190 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:32,201 Speaker 1: see someone naked dancing rubbing period blood on their faces 191 00:08:32,241 --> 00:08:35,001 Speaker 1: are facial and it's like, I'm mutual towards it, Yes, 192 00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:37,361 Speaker 1: you do you? Whereas years ago I would have so 193 00:08:37,481 --> 00:08:39,641 Speaker 1: much judgment on them because I'm judging myself. I wouldn't 194 00:08:39,641 --> 00:08:41,081 Speaker 1: allow myself to do that, Like, oh my god, I 195 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,281 Speaker 1: would never. Yeah, it's so nice to feel free and 196 00:08:43,401 --> 00:08:46,121 Speaker 1: just not have that judgment on anyone, including yourself. You know, 197 00:08:46,721 --> 00:08:50,921 Speaker 1: it's one of the comments some things should be kept private. 198 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:55,681 Speaker 1: I agree for sure it's not for everyone. But my 199 00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:59,161 Speaker 1: intention to post this video one because of the feedback 200 00:08:59,161 --> 00:09:01,001 Speaker 1: I got to my DMS. I'm like, wow, this needs 201 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:05,481 Speaker 1: to be a conversation more. Yeah. Two, I want to 202 00:09:05,561 --> 00:09:08,401 Speaker 1: trigger people because I know when IRIS triggered by Megsie 203 00:09:08,441 --> 00:09:11,521 Speaker 1: or by anyone else online. Once again, that's the invitation 204 00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:14,561 Speaker 1: to explore why you're triggered, whether it's now or in 205 00:09:14,601 --> 00:09:16,401 Speaker 1: six months or in five years time. I hope they 206 00:09:16,441 --> 00:09:18,841 Speaker 1: reflect back and go, oh, this is what actually was 207 00:09:18,841 --> 00:09:21,001 Speaker 1: talking about. I want to be a leader in that 208 00:09:21,081 --> 00:09:22,881 Speaker 1: and not just in this energy but anything. That's why 209 00:09:22,921 --> 00:09:25,321 Speaker 1: we talk about so many things on this podcast. We're 210 00:09:25,801 --> 00:09:28,361 Speaker 1: not here to just sugarcoat everything and pretend everything's rosy 211 00:09:28,361 --> 00:09:30,721 Speaker 1: and dandy. We want you to be like, oh, I 212 00:09:30,721 --> 00:09:32,721 Speaker 1: don't know about that for me, and just start to 213 00:09:32,721 --> 00:09:36,201 Speaker 1: ask questions and get more curious. So you might think 214 00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:38,161 Speaker 1: that a dance like this should be kept private, but 215 00:09:38,281 --> 00:09:40,361 Speaker 1: there was a deeper intention for me posting it. And 216 00:09:40,401 --> 00:09:42,601 Speaker 1: also just remember I'm in a class with eighty people. 217 00:09:42,961 --> 00:09:45,561 Speaker 1: There's forty of us that learnt that dance, and then 218 00:09:45,681 --> 00:09:48,881 Speaker 1: forty partners that came in. Wow, it's not private. It's 219 00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:52,641 Speaker 1: not private. This isn't only fans. It's not porn. It's 220 00:09:52,721 --> 00:09:58,921 Speaker 1: a dance. Literally, it's not that deep. I want to 221 00:09:58,921 --> 00:09:59,521 Speaker 1: read that one. 222 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:03,761 Speaker 2: Yes, you're performing for social media. This isn't sacred anymore 223 00:10:03,761 --> 00:10:07,321 Speaker 2: because two thousand people have s edit to men. So funny, 224 00:10:07,401 --> 00:10:10,401 Speaker 2: they were a fair few shares, but who's to say 225 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,161 Speaker 2: that they were all shared to men like for the 226 00:10:12,161 --> 00:10:15,321 Speaker 2: most part. And I know from myself, I'm always sharing 227 00:10:15,361 --> 00:10:17,321 Speaker 2: stuff to you. When I share stuff about I'm like, 228 00:10:17,361 --> 00:10:18,521 Speaker 2: oh my god, how cool is this? 229 00:10:18,721 --> 00:10:20,881 Speaker 1: Oh my god? Look how good does she look on? Yeah? 230 00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:22,641 Speaker 2: Good? The way that she dances, look at her out 231 00:10:22,681 --> 00:10:26,721 Speaker 2: shows So yes, there's an element of course, there's going 232 00:10:26,761 --> 00:10:28,721 Speaker 2: to be men on there. There's men on social media, 233 00:10:28,881 --> 00:10:31,761 Speaker 2: but it's predominantly going to be more women. You know, 234 00:10:32,001 --> 00:10:33,081 Speaker 2: what are your thoughts on that one? 235 00:10:33,161 --> 00:10:35,161 Speaker 1: Well, there was tons of wives that said, I sent 236 00:10:35,241 --> 00:10:36,681 Speaker 1: this to my husband, I want to do a class 237 00:10:36,721 --> 00:10:38,321 Speaker 1: like this. Yeah, I love so. Yeah, I'm sure it 238 00:10:38,361 --> 00:10:42,641 Speaker 1: was shared men, but like so, yeah, this is what 239 00:10:42,681 --> 00:10:44,801 Speaker 1: I mean about getting curious, Like what does that mean? 240 00:10:44,841 --> 00:10:46,601 Speaker 1: And no, it's it's not sacred. What I do in 241 00:10:46,601 --> 00:10:48,801 Speaker 1: the bedroom with Steve is sacred. I'm not videoing any 242 00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:50,361 Speaker 1: of that. You guys have no idea what we do 243 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:54,161 Speaker 1: in the bedroom. But a beautiful, empowering dance and seeing 244 00:10:54,201 --> 00:10:56,161 Speaker 1: me connect my body and connect with my partner in 245 00:10:56,201 --> 00:10:58,881 Speaker 1: that way. I can do that with a strong intention 246 00:10:58,961 --> 00:11:01,361 Speaker 1: behind why. And I can also do that behind closed doors. 247 00:11:01,721 --> 00:11:03,601 Speaker 1: I don't share everything. I share a lot, but there's 248 00:11:03,601 --> 00:11:04,521 Speaker 1: a lot that I don't share. 249 00:11:04,721 --> 00:11:07,761 Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting you're performing for social media, you're 250 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:11,201 Speaker 2: not actually just living your life and then sharharing snippets 251 00:11:11,241 --> 00:11:14,161 Speaker 2: of your life. And it's this automatic when someone does 252 00:11:14,161 --> 00:11:16,881 Speaker 2: something sexual, it's like I've got to look away. I've 253 00:11:16,881 --> 00:11:18,961 Speaker 2: got to look away because it's dirty, it's wrong. It's 254 00:11:19,521 --> 00:11:21,201 Speaker 2: to be private. We're not allowed to talk about this 255 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,121 Speaker 2: in public, you know. And that's something we've talked about 256 00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:28,761 Speaker 2: a lot recently, is how this conversation isn't had this 257 00:11:28,801 --> 00:11:33,321 Speaker 2: conversation around sex, this conversation around intimacy, around sensual energy, 258 00:11:33,361 --> 00:11:37,401 Speaker 2: around women being embodied in their feminine sensual energy, and 259 00:11:37,441 --> 00:11:41,321 Speaker 2: then like life force energy, it's so taboo that it 260 00:11:41,441 --> 00:11:44,641 Speaker 2: triggers everything in everyone. Every little thing that somebody has 261 00:11:44,681 --> 00:11:47,281 Speaker 2: in terms of their sexual energy, a little bit of shame, 262 00:11:47,521 --> 00:11:51,121 Speaker 2: bad experience, you know, don't let themselves experience anything. Grew 263 00:11:51,201 --> 00:11:54,081 Speaker 2: up with really strict parents who didn't have the sex conversation. 264 00:11:54,561 --> 00:11:56,961 Speaker 2: All of those little things lead to this moment of 265 00:11:57,041 --> 00:11:59,081 Speaker 2: like when you see it and somebody posting it on 266 00:11:59,121 --> 00:12:03,201 Speaker 2: social media, immediately you're getting triggered by it because you 267 00:12:03,241 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 2: are holding onto that shame around sex or around intimacy. 268 00:12:07,441 --> 00:12:10,401 Speaker 1: A lot of these comments too, I'm like, I mean, personally, 269 00:12:10,641 --> 00:12:13,041 Speaker 1: I enjoy watching women dance. I've been to a strip 270 00:12:13,041 --> 00:12:16,361 Speaker 1: club with girlfriends. I've on movies. I enjoy it, even 271 00:12:16,401 --> 00:12:18,601 Speaker 1: sex scenes on movies. I don't love porn, but like sex. 272 00:12:18,881 --> 00:12:20,681 Speaker 1: These comments, I'm like, gosh, I hope you don't watch 273 00:12:20,721 --> 00:12:23,281 Speaker 1: Netflix because it's actual, real sex scenes on there, legit. 274 00:12:23,321 --> 00:12:26,161 Speaker 1: How did that feel for me? I personally really enjoy that. Yeah, 275 00:12:26,201 --> 00:12:28,321 Speaker 1: I love watching people. I was at Burly Headland on 276 00:12:28,401 --> 00:12:30,801 Speaker 1: Sunday and there's this beautiful couple in front of me 277 00:12:30,841 --> 00:12:33,481 Speaker 1: just having a makeout session. I was like, that's beautiful, Like, 278 00:12:33,601 --> 00:12:36,641 Speaker 1: I actually really enjoy it. So why does it always 279 00:12:36,641 --> 00:12:38,721 Speaker 1: have to be so private and shamed and like only 280 00:12:38,761 --> 00:12:40,761 Speaker 1: done in the dark room with no one watching, Like. 281 00:12:40,681 --> 00:12:43,001 Speaker 2: It's in the eye of the beholder, Like the perspective 282 00:12:43,001 --> 00:12:45,561 Speaker 2: and the way that you perceive that situation. Yeah, it's 283 00:12:45,561 --> 00:12:47,241 Speaker 2: like you know, when you showed me that video, I 284 00:12:47,241 --> 00:12:48,721 Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, I watched it ten times. 285 00:12:48,721 --> 00:12:50,921 Speaker 2: That was a you looks so good and like, yeah 286 00:12:50,961 --> 00:12:52,801 Speaker 2: for me, when I watch the video I watch you 287 00:12:52,881 --> 00:12:55,761 Speaker 2: and Steve, I'm like, oh my god, the connection, the chemistry, 288 00:12:55,801 --> 00:12:58,921 Speaker 2: the intimacy between you two when you are dancing, so 289 00:12:58,961 --> 00:13:01,081 Speaker 2: Steve's locked in on you. No one else in the 290 00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:03,361 Speaker 2: world mattered except for that moment, And I was like, 291 00:13:03,641 --> 00:13:05,761 Speaker 2: what a beautiful thing to be able to you see 292 00:13:05,761 --> 00:13:08,881 Speaker 2: and witness as an outsider, to go wout. How beautiful 293 00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:11,081 Speaker 2: that is. And that's something that not a lot of 294 00:13:11,121 --> 00:13:12,881 Speaker 2: people can say after seventeen years of being together. 295 00:13:12,921 --> 00:13:15,881 Speaker 1: I think that's impressive. It's incredible. And I felt exactly 296 00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:19,041 Speaker 1: the same so our dance teacher, Misha. Her partner had 297 00:13:19,081 --> 00:13:22,241 Speaker 1: never been into the dance studio, and he ever, he's 298 00:13:22,281 --> 00:13:24,601 Speaker 1: never never been in the dance studio. So he came 299 00:13:24,601 --> 00:13:26,321 Speaker 1: in first and we all made a circle and she 300 00:13:26,481 --> 00:13:28,681 Speaker 1: performed the dance where you're about to learn on him. 301 00:13:28,761 --> 00:13:31,721 Speaker 1: Oh I love that. Oh my god, She's insane. It 302 00:13:31,801 --> 00:13:35,001 Speaker 1: was so hot, so hot. I was like wow, and 303 00:13:35,041 --> 00:13:38,921 Speaker 1: I just felt so inspired and empowered and same thing 304 00:13:39,081 --> 00:13:41,721 Speaker 1: watching his eyes lock on, being like that is my 305 00:13:41,801 --> 00:13:44,241 Speaker 1: fucking wife, Like oh just see. He was like, felt 306 00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,841 Speaker 1: so lucky. I was just like, that's amazing. I was 307 00:13:46,841 --> 00:13:48,361 Speaker 1: a man. I would hope my girl did that for me, 308 00:13:48,601 --> 00:13:52,521 Speaker 1: Like mezzirized, Hey, yeah, why can that not be celebrated 309 00:13:52,601 --> 00:13:55,521 Speaker 1: and seen more and be forward more and enjoyed more? 310 00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:58,681 Speaker 2: Its perspective, right is when you do? I mean for us, Like, well, 311 00:13:58,681 --> 00:14:01,081 Speaker 2: we're having this conversation. When I see a man look 312 00:14:01,121 --> 00:14:03,601 Speaker 2: at his partner like that, I think that's so incredible. 313 00:14:03,681 --> 00:14:04,921 Speaker 1: I'm like, how beautiful. 314 00:14:05,121 --> 00:14:08,641 Speaker 2: They have a connection so deep that that's how mesmerized 315 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,361 Speaker 2: he is in that moment by her, and then for 316 00:14:10,441 --> 00:14:12,881 Speaker 2: other people it's like trigger and gott to look away. No, oh, 317 00:14:12,921 --> 00:14:16,041 Speaker 2: that's lutty, that's this, you know. There's so many judgments 318 00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:18,921 Speaker 2: and their own projections around what that is. Yeah, you know, 319 00:14:18,961 --> 00:14:21,961 Speaker 2: And this is the conversation around bringing in your triggers 320 00:14:22,041 --> 00:14:25,361 Speaker 2: and being curious about them so that you can start 321 00:14:25,401 --> 00:14:27,961 Speaker 2: to unpack them, because it's like, yes, it triggers you 322 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:31,241 Speaker 2: for a reason, Does it mean that you disagree with 323 00:14:31,281 --> 00:14:34,241 Speaker 2: what's happening. No, it's likely just because there's judgment underneath 324 00:14:34,281 --> 00:14:36,801 Speaker 2: it and you're scared of what's actually underneath that. 325 00:14:37,081 --> 00:14:40,321 Speaker 1: And even if you would never upload it to social media, 326 00:14:40,361 --> 00:14:42,441 Speaker 1: that's so fine. Yeah, be a teacher or police obviously 327 00:14:42,561 --> 00:14:44,841 Speaker 1: not even allowed to show anything on social media. But 328 00:14:44,921 --> 00:14:47,361 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean you have the right to say that 329 00:14:47,401 --> 00:14:50,081 Speaker 1: it's wrong, yes, or judge someone else for doing it. 330 00:14:50,201 --> 00:14:52,241 Speaker 1: I've shared my life for fifteen years. I talk on 331 00:14:52,281 --> 00:14:54,361 Speaker 1: a podcast, I share a lot about my second live 332 00:14:54,401 --> 00:14:57,361 Speaker 1: and everything. It's pretty normalized. Yeah, like a lot of 333 00:14:57,401 --> 00:14:59,801 Speaker 1: my friends don't share any of their life on social media. 334 00:14:59,841 --> 00:15:02,641 Speaker 1: That's cool too, But I just think the shaming and 335 00:15:02,681 --> 00:15:04,961 Speaker 1: the projections. That's what we want to talk about today, 336 00:15:05,201 --> 00:15:07,601 Speaker 1: like when these comments come through or when you feel them. 337 00:15:07,961 --> 00:15:10,561 Speaker 1: I never projected mine onto Megsie or other women. I 338 00:15:10,641 --> 00:15:13,081 Speaker 1: just felt them internally, and then I felt shame for 339 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,881 Speaker 1: feeling them. Yeah, so I was like, I don't want 340 00:15:14,921 --> 00:15:17,321 Speaker 1: to feel that about her, but oh oh did I do? 341 00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:19,721 Speaker 1: And I feel that about myself too, And I would 342 00:15:19,761 --> 00:15:21,441 Speaker 1: just shove it under the rug and sweep it because 343 00:15:21,441 --> 00:15:23,881 Speaker 1: it felt too uncomfortable. And I would just say, oh, 344 00:15:23,921 --> 00:15:25,601 Speaker 1: it's just the way it is, or it's just wrong, 345 00:15:25,681 --> 00:15:28,561 Speaker 1: or she shouldn't do that. But why, yeah said who 346 00:15:29,081 --> 00:15:31,761 Speaker 1: said who? When you make those comments, it's cringe. It 347 00:15:31,761 --> 00:15:34,961 Speaker 1: shouldn't be on social media. It's not sacred. Is that facts? 348 00:15:35,841 --> 00:15:39,441 Speaker 1: It's not. No, that's your own made up story, right. 349 00:15:39,841 --> 00:15:41,601 Speaker 1: Another comment that I want to talk about a lot 350 00:15:41,601 --> 00:15:43,921 Speaker 1: of women message me about this too, was I'm too 351 00:15:43,961 --> 00:15:46,321 Speaker 1: insecure for this, or I wish I had your confidence, 352 00:15:46,401 --> 00:15:48,601 Speaker 1: or comments like if I had your body, I'd be 353 00:15:48,641 --> 00:15:51,281 Speaker 1: doing that too. I was still nervous too. Even if 354 00:15:51,321 --> 00:15:55,041 Speaker 1: you're insecure, quote unquote not confident, you do it anyway. Yeah, 355 00:15:55,201 --> 00:15:58,001 Speaker 1: you have to start somewhere, I promise you. If you 356 00:15:58,081 --> 00:16:00,121 Speaker 1: keep sitting back just saying I'm not confident for that. 357 00:16:00,201 --> 00:16:02,441 Speaker 1: I don't have her body or never look as good 358 00:16:02,441 --> 00:16:05,481 Speaker 1: as her. You're right, Yeah, that'll always be you. It'll 359 00:16:05,481 --> 00:16:07,401 Speaker 1: always be your story and you always be sitting on 360 00:16:07,441 --> 00:16:09,761 Speaker 1: the sideline. There was other girls in there that were 361 00:16:09,801 --> 00:16:12,121 Speaker 1: way better dances than me, that were way more experience, 362 00:16:12,161 --> 00:16:14,961 Speaker 1: that are way more confident. But it's about getting back 363 00:16:15,001 --> 00:16:17,761 Speaker 1: to your body and just connecting to yourself and being 364 00:16:17,761 --> 00:16:20,681 Speaker 1: there in the moment with your partner. And honestly, like 365 00:16:21,041 --> 00:16:23,161 Speaker 1: I definitely loved watching the other girls dance, but when 366 00:16:23,161 --> 00:16:25,401 Speaker 1: it was my turn, I was just so locked into 367 00:16:25,441 --> 00:16:27,441 Speaker 1: the moves and like moving with my body and locked 368 00:16:27,481 --> 00:16:30,481 Speaker 1: into Steve. That was just our experience. It was beautiful, 369 00:16:30,961 --> 00:16:34,081 Speaker 1: but I think all of us have insecurities in our bodies. 370 00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:36,281 Speaker 1: And also, you can choose outfits that feel good for you. 371 00:16:36,361 --> 00:16:38,041 Speaker 1: Like Amy had a full geshow next to me, and 372 00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:39,521 Speaker 1: I wasn't quite ready for that. I wanted like a 373 00:16:39,521 --> 00:16:41,801 Speaker 1: bodysuit with a little bit more coverage. Yeah, you just 374 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:42,921 Speaker 1: wear what feels good for you. 375 00:16:43,161 --> 00:16:45,921 Speaker 2: This is the whole purpose of this conversation is that 376 00:16:46,401 --> 00:16:47,921 Speaker 2: it's not about anybody else. 377 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:51,201 Speaker 1: No, it is about you. Reconnecting with your sexual energy. 378 00:16:51,281 --> 00:16:53,521 Speaker 2: Because when you are in that safe space and you 379 00:16:53,521 --> 00:16:56,801 Speaker 2: can connect with yourself from a loving place, you allow 380 00:16:56,841 --> 00:17:00,401 Speaker 2: yourself to really own all of that sexual energy. You 381 00:17:00,481 --> 00:17:04,201 Speaker 2: allow yourself to own what feels good, yeah, what feels pleasurable, 382 00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:07,281 Speaker 2: what you in moments like this that you want and 383 00:17:07,321 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 2: desire to share with your partner that you're too scared 384 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,001 Speaker 2: to do. And for as long as you allow that 385 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:14,281 Speaker 2: story to kind of dictate your life, you will always 386 00:17:14,321 --> 00:17:16,601 Speaker 2: feel like you need to stay behind the lines of 387 00:17:16,921 --> 00:17:20,481 Speaker 2: what's right or what's good or what's acceptable in society. 388 00:17:20,801 --> 00:17:23,641 Speaker 2: Pushing beyond that edge of what feels comfortable for you 389 00:17:24,241 --> 00:17:27,160 Speaker 2: is what allows you to stop judging yourself and to 390 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,521 Speaker 2: stop judging others as well. 391 00:17:28,761 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 1: I don't know about you, guys, but when I watch 392 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:34,200 Speaker 1: women dance, it's not about how lean they are or 393 00:17:34,201 --> 00:17:36,441 Speaker 1: if they have a six pack. It's how they feel 394 00:17:36,481 --> 00:17:39,640 Speaker 1: from the inside shines on the outside, right, Like if 395 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,721 Speaker 1: they're just moving away and they're so common, you will 396 00:17:41,801 --> 00:17:44,080 Speaker 1: naturally be drawn to them. Compared to a girl that 397 00:17:44,241 --> 00:17:46,561 Speaker 1: feels insecure and is like judging herself and like awkward. 398 00:17:46,561 --> 00:17:49,041 Speaker 1: If she stuffs up, she's like, oh, you know, it's 399 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,160 Speaker 1: like in her head, in her head. When the woman's 400 00:17:51,201 --> 00:17:53,400 Speaker 1: in her body and just like moving in that flowy, 401 00:17:53,441 --> 00:17:56,281 Speaker 1: beautiful state, you're drawn to her. You're not worried about 402 00:17:56,281 --> 00:17:59,120 Speaker 1: whether she has saalde or if she's a size fourteen 403 00:17:59,201 --> 00:18:01,201 Speaker 1: or a size eight. It's not even a thought. No, 404 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,120 Speaker 1: So the girls that are saying, oh dude, if I 405 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,240 Speaker 1: had your body or I'm too insecure for this, like 406 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,561 Speaker 1: give rid of those stories because it's not what it's about. 407 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,001 Speaker 2: And everyone has that, like we said, everyone securities. When 408 00:18:11,001 --> 00:18:13,840 Speaker 2: I first did my first heels class, I was so 409 00:18:14,041 --> 00:18:17,321 Speaker 2: in my head. I was like all of my judgments 410 00:18:17,321 --> 00:18:19,201 Speaker 2: that I have on myself came up in that room, 411 00:18:19,281 --> 00:18:22,680 Speaker 2: in that classroom. Healing' so healing because after about three 412 00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:25,160 Speaker 2: or four times, you're like, wow, I really understand what 413 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,321 Speaker 2: it feels like to drop into my body. With the 414 00:18:27,441 --> 00:18:29,360 Speaker 2: very first session, I was like, oh my god, if 415 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,441 Speaker 2: people watch me, they're gonna care about how I move, 416 00:18:31,481 --> 00:18:33,241 Speaker 2: what if I fuck up, what if I make a mistake. 417 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,400 Speaker 2: Like all of my own the things that go in 418 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,080 Speaker 2: my head every single day came up in that moment. 419 00:18:37,521 --> 00:18:39,441 Speaker 2: But you're never going to be able to push through 420 00:18:39,441 --> 00:18:42,521 Speaker 2: them until you continue doing something consistently exactly, because then 421 00:18:42,561 --> 00:18:45,441 Speaker 2: what happens is you become confident at it with time 422 00:18:45,481 --> 00:18:48,761 Speaker 2: and repetition. Like anything, never do it, never explore it, 423 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,041 Speaker 2: never open that up or feel like, oh nope, that's 424 00:18:51,241 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 2: too hard, basket ye never going to grow in that area. 425 00:18:54,241 --> 00:18:56,361 Speaker 2: And this is about pushing your edges, it is. 426 00:18:56,521 --> 00:18:58,281 Speaker 1: And even in the dance class we went to one 427 00:18:58,521 --> 00:19:01,440 Speaker 1: couple of months ago, I definitely felt embarrassed. But do 428 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,721 Speaker 1: you remember when she was like, how's everyone going? Yeah, 429 00:19:03,721 --> 00:19:05,761 Speaker 1: I put my hand up. I was like terrible, Yeah, 430 00:19:05,761 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 1: like I can't get it? Yes, And everyone kind of 431 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,360 Speaker 1: turned and had a little giggle, and I was like, okay, yeah, cool, 432 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:12,521 Speaker 1: this is actually hard. It was humbling. That was a 433 00:19:12,561 --> 00:19:15,440 Speaker 1: humbling session. And in this lap dance there was I 434 00:19:15,441 --> 00:19:18,041 Speaker 1: think three moves that I just couldn't get so I 435 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:19,960 Speaker 1: changed it. Yeah, So I just made it work for me. 436 00:19:19,961 --> 00:19:21,840 Speaker 1: And that's the beautiful thing about dancing is it's like 437 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,521 Speaker 1: you're not there to be perfect, You're not there to 438 00:19:23,521 --> 00:19:25,201 Speaker 1: look like your dance teacher or the girl next to you. 439 00:19:25,241 --> 00:19:26,920 Speaker 1: There to like make your own and it's about a 440 00:19:26,921 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 1: freedom of expression through your body. And I grew up 441 00:19:29,921 --> 00:19:31,840 Speaker 1: dancing and a lot of you know that I didn't 442 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,281 Speaker 1: love my home life, but dancing for me was my outlet. 443 00:19:34,321 --> 00:19:36,640 Speaker 1: It's where I found peace. It's where I felt like 444 00:19:36,681 --> 00:19:39,080 Speaker 1: I could just escape what I was dealing with at home. 445 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,321 Speaker 1: I could just feel to the music. We connected to 446 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:44,400 Speaker 1: my body, be with myself. I felt strong, I felt empowered. 447 00:19:44,801 --> 00:19:46,840 Speaker 1: It's just feels so good. And until you go and 448 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,041 Speaker 1: do a dance class like this, you just can't explain it. 449 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's also a really beautiful way for you to 450 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,281 Speaker 2: connect with your body and get out of your head 451 00:19:53,281 --> 00:19:56,001 Speaker 2: because predominantly, like think about how busy and overstimulated we 452 00:19:56,001 --> 00:19:57,761 Speaker 2: are all little, all of us, right, and you don't 453 00:19:57,801 --> 00:20:01,201 Speaker 2: have time for pleasure, slowing down, being present, all those things. 454 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:04,201 Speaker 2: It's one of those activities that fully pulls you out 455 00:20:04,201 --> 00:20:05,561 Speaker 2: of your head and in body. 456 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,120 Speaker 1: It does powerful a Now, the one that came through 457 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,161 Speaker 1: which got a lot of pushback was around my kids 458 00:20:11,241 --> 00:20:14,000 Speaker 1: seeing this dance so your kids will love that when 459 00:20:14,041 --> 00:20:17,680 Speaker 1: they're older, or like, how embarrassing for Taj. You know, 460 00:20:17,681 --> 00:20:20,241 Speaker 1: your kids shouldn't see you opening your legs to their father. 461 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 1: Lots of comments like that, And when I came home, 462 00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:25,121 Speaker 1: Taj was still awake. Meggsie actually looked after the kids 463 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,600 Speaker 1: for us, and he asked to see the dance and 464 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,120 Speaker 1: I was hesitant at first, and I said to Megsie, like, 465 00:20:30,281 --> 00:20:31,680 Speaker 1: what do you think because I just go to her 466 00:20:31,681 --> 00:20:33,360 Speaker 1: for advice like that, and she's like, got sunny seeing 467 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:36,561 Speaker 1: me dance Moon times. Kids don't sexualize everything. Yeah, So 468 00:20:36,561 --> 00:20:38,481 Speaker 1: I just showed him and Taj is like, it looks 469 00:20:38,481 --> 00:20:40,241 Speaker 1: like you guys had a lot of fun. You look 470 00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:43,841 Speaker 1: really happy, mummy. Oh he's nine. Yeah. I don't think 471 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:47,361 Speaker 1: Tyler saw it actually, but even so, like she loves dancing, 472 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,920 Speaker 1: she's not old enough to like sexualize that, and also 473 00:20:51,201 --> 00:20:54,640 Speaker 1: when she is an appropriate age, Like I want my 474 00:20:54,801 --> 00:20:59,321 Speaker 1: children to never feel like sex is shameful, right. I 475 00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:01,960 Speaker 1: want to have a conversation with them that it is beautiful, 476 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,641 Speaker 1: it's pleasurable, it's the way we connect, it's a way 477 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,200 Speaker 1: we make, we all do it. I don't want it 478 00:21:07,201 --> 00:21:10,041 Speaker 1: to be this like taboo thing that no one talks about. 479 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,601 Speaker 1: Look away, look away, don't watch this, And that's where 480 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,001 Speaker 1: the sexual shame starts. Is so much like that. 481 00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:18,761 Speaker 2: Don't want to have the sex conversation or no think 482 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,840 Speaker 2: with Yeah, I don't know how to answer that question, Well, yeah, 483 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,680 Speaker 2: why does it have to be like that exactly? Why 484 00:21:23,721 --> 00:21:26,081 Speaker 2: does it have to be that conversation? And then that 485 00:21:26,281 --> 00:21:28,640 Speaker 2: only accumulates with time until they get older, and then 486 00:21:28,681 --> 00:21:30,640 Speaker 2: you're like, Okay, this is too far gone. This is 487 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,161 Speaker 2: so uncomfortable to talk about. But it's just a reflection 488 00:21:33,281 --> 00:21:35,001 Speaker 2: I believe, at least, and I don't have kids, so. 489 00:21:35,321 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 1: You bang on, you know what I mean. 490 00:21:36,761 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 2: It's a reflection of where you are at in your 491 00:21:38,281 --> 00:21:40,521 Speaker 2: own sexuality is what you're going to pass down to 492 00:21:40,521 --> 00:21:41,081 Speaker 2: your children. 493 00:21:41,241 --> 00:21:45,001 Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, safety and sex, knowing your boundaries, knowing 494 00:21:45,001 --> 00:21:47,200 Speaker 1: your body, that's all a conversation as well. But I 495 00:21:47,281 --> 00:21:50,600 Speaker 1: never want it to be shameful or this dirty thing 496 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,481 Speaker 1: that they can't talk about. I hope they feel safe 497 00:21:52,481 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 1: to come and ask me questions and ask Steve or 498 00:21:54,761 --> 00:21:57,321 Speaker 1: go to their aunties and like just have conversations around 499 00:21:57,721 --> 00:22:00,161 Speaker 1: what that looks like and what it means and help 500 00:22:00,241 --> 00:22:03,880 Speaker 1: shape positive beliefs around sexuality. 501 00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 2: Closeness, connection being a positive relationship with sex and intimacy 502 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,001 Speaker 2: and connection. Yeah, it starts in the home. I want 503 00:22:10,001 --> 00:22:11,400 Speaker 2: my kids to be like, oh, mom and dad are 504 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,481 Speaker 2: always all over each other. Yeah, they love each other 505 00:22:13,521 --> 00:22:15,281 Speaker 2: so much. They can't keep their hands off each other. Yes, 506 00:22:15,521 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 2: I had the opposite growing up, Like they never stopped 507 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,281 Speaker 2: yelling each other. They fucking hate each other. Why are 508 00:22:20,281 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 2: they together? 509 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,561 Speaker 1: They literally yell at each other like they're the worst 510 00:22:23,561 --> 00:22:26,961 Speaker 1: person on earth. Like it was just complete opposite. I 511 00:22:27,001 --> 00:22:29,240 Speaker 1: hope Tarla finds a man that is so obsessed with 512 00:22:29,281 --> 00:22:31,440 Speaker 1: her and treats her so nicely and just loves the 513 00:22:31,441 --> 00:22:33,441 Speaker 1: shit out of her. And I hope Taj does that 514 00:22:33,481 --> 00:22:36,561 Speaker 1: to his partner, you know. And there's even the conversation 515 00:22:36,681 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 1: around sexuality too, like if Taj was gay or Tarla 516 00:22:41,721 --> 00:22:43,640 Speaker 1: was gay too, that's all good. I don't want this 517 00:22:43,721 --> 00:22:46,080 Speaker 1: ever being uncomfortable or naughty or bad or something to 518 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,001 Speaker 1: be shameful of. It's like, bring it all in, Yeah, 519 00:22:48,041 --> 00:22:51,520 Speaker 1: how do you feel? Cool? Loves love, let's chat about it, 520 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,321 Speaker 1: you know. So I just think we need to be 521 00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:56,241 Speaker 1: super mindful of these type of comments and projections because 522 00:22:56,321 --> 00:22:59,640 Speaker 1: they have impact, and that's your own stuff that you 523 00:22:59,801 --> 00:23:01,600 Speaker 1: need to unpack. And I know some people are gonna 524 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:03,641 Speaker 1: be rolling their eyes just being like, no, it's just wrong. 525 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,001 Speaker 1: Issu'd opposed that. Yeah, I get it because I used 526 00:23:06,001 --> 00:23:07,921 Speaker 1: to think like that, but I really hope, I really 527 00:23:07,961 --> 00:23:10,401 Speaker 1: hope if you're listening, you're here because you're open minded, 528 00:23:10,921 --> 00:23:12,840 Speaker 1: and yeah, like I said, it's in a month, six months, 529 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:14,480 Speaker 1: or a year's time, you'd be like, oh, I can 530 00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:16,160 Speaker 1: see why she did that. I'm really glad she did 531 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:17,640 Speaker 1: because it made me think, or it made me question, 532 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,001 Speaker 1: It made me open up a conversation with my partner, 533 00:23:20,041 --> 00:23:22,400 Speaker 1: or made me put on some music and have a dance, 534 00:23:22,481 --> 00:23:24,080 Speaker 1: or made me want to, you know, try and do 535 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,120 Speaker 1: something different, or. 536 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,880 Speaker 2: Create some freedom for yourself and allay yourself to live 537 00:23:27,921 --> 00:23:30,121 Speaker 2: outside of the box that you live in. Yeah. I'm 538 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,121 Speaker 2: not saying that you do that, but for the most part, 539 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,120 Speaker 2: we all do it. I do it, or like my 540 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,481 Speaker 2: whole life, I put myself in a box, especially when 541 00:23:36,481 --> 00:23:38,840 Speaker 2: it came to being sexual, especially because of the video. 542 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 2: It's like, well, now that I was slut shamed for 543 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,200 Speaker 2: that experience, and because I did like sex and I 544 00:23:44,241 --> 00:23:46,281 Speaker 2: was having sex with my intimate partner at the time 545 00:23:46,441 --> 00:23:49,041 Speaker 2: of like, however many years it was like oh, wow, 546 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:50,960 Speaker 2: now you're not allowed to have that. Yeah, you know, 547 00:23:51,041 --> 00:23:52,720 Speaker 2: and then I wull myself in a box. And so 548 00:23:53,001 --> 00:23:55,400 Speaker 2: seeing videos like this was super triggering for me. In 549 00:23:55,441 --> 00:23:58,521 Speaker 2: the beginning because I shut down my sexuality and I 550 00:23:58,561 --> 00:24:00,960 Speaker 2: told myself I wasn't allowed to have that. And it 551 00:24:01,001 --> 00:24:02,961 Speaker 2: wasn't until I started to open that back up again 552 00:24:02,961 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 2: did I start to feel a sense of and within 553 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,401 Speaker 2: myself again. And it is the most freeing thing when 554 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,881 Speaker 2: you're not living by this invisible rule book that you've 555 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 2: got for yourself of like how you should be based 556 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,360 Speaker 2: on what everyone thinks you should be. 557 00:24:16,521 --> 00:24:19,241 Speaker 1: The feeling of being free to be who you are 558 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:23,120 Speaker 1: and loving yourself, sick through it and loving every moment 559 00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:26,801 Speaker 1: of it. It's crazy, this one layer of sexual shame 560 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:28,961 Speaker 1: that I didn't even realize I had. Did I have 561 00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:30,640 Speaker 1: sexual shame? I'm not sure just how I put myself 562 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:34,120 Speaker 1: into a box, but just shedding that has brought so 563 00:24:34,201 --> 00:24:37,561 Speaker 1: much joy into every other area of my life, but 564 00:24:37,681 --> 00:24:41,321 Speaker 1: mainly my intimate relationship after seventeen years, to be better 565 00:24:41,321 --> 00:24:43,761 Speaker 1: than we ever have. That's wild to me, and it's 566 00:24:43,801 --> 00:24:46,521 Speaker 1: also really exciting. Yeah. So I just like, that's the 567 00:24:46,561 --> 00:24:49,041 Speaker 1: reason I share it because how I feel right now, 568 00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:52,360 Speaker 1: how Steve and I are. I want other couples and 569 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,761 Speaker 1: other women to be able to feel this good and 570 00:24:54,801 --> 00:24:57,281 Speaker 1: for every day to feel this alive and this free. 571 00:24:57,561 --> 00:24:59,761 Speaker 1: And also the less we can judge ourselves, the less 572 00:24:59,761 --> 00:25:01,160 Speaker 1: we're going to judge other people. That will make the 573 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,360 Speaker 1: world a better place. So there's so much good that's 574 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:07,041 Speaker 1: come from this video. Yeah. Another comment I want to 575 00:25:07,041 --> 00:25:09,721 Speaker 1: talk about, which has been a really cool, big conversation 576 00:25:09,801 --> 00:25:11,640 Speaker 1: for you and I is a lot of people just 577 00:25:11,681 --> 00:25:14,080 Speaker 1: said like attention seeking. One was like, you're an attention 578 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:19,360 Speaker 1: seeking whole, damn straight. Yeah. Actually, we love this right 579 00:25:19,441 --> 00:25:20,961 Speaker 1: attention all the time. 580 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:24,000 Speaker 2: People think that that's criticism and criticism like, oh my god, 581 00:25:24,001 --> 00:25:26,360 Speaker 2: you're such an attention seeking I'm like, damn straight, I am. Yeah, 582 00:25:27,041 --> 00:25:29,761 Speaker 2: And this is the conversation we've had to allow both 583 00:25:29,761 --> 00:25:32,160 Speaker 2: of us to step into more of that. Like, the 584 00:25:32,201 --> 00:25:36,041 Speaker 2: reason why people get attention in unproductive ways is because 585 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,080 Speaker 2: they shame it and they shame themselves for it being 586 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:42,360 Speaker 2: something that is wrong. Yeah, and we when we're together, 587 00:25:42,561 --> 00:25:43,561 Speaker 2: damn straight, I want attention. 588 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,440 Speaker 1: Of course, I want attention. I want more of it. 589 00:25:45,481 --> 00:25:47,600 Speaker 2: I need more of it all twenty four to seven, 590 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,400 Speaker 2: every single we love it. We love it and giving 591 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,561 Speaker 2: ourselves permission in our friendship to be able to explore 592 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,201 Speaker 2: all of that and be seen in that and loved 593 00:25:55,241 --> 00:25:58,561 Speaker 2: in that it's like those comments don't even touch the signs. 594 00:25:59,080 --> 00:25:59,961 Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, I can. 595 00:26:00,041 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 1: Eventually right back I write, yeah I do. 596 00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:04,841 Speaker 2: I love it, And the moment you own it, it's 597 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:08,801 Speaker 2: a dissolved I actually had a conversation with somebody recently 598 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,680 Speaker 2: about that, and he was saying, like I made a 599 00:26:11,761 --> 00:26:13,001 Speaker 2: joke about him liking attention. 600 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,321 Speaker 1: He was like, well, you like attention and I was like, damn. 601 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,761 Speaker 2: Straight, yeah, I al And he just like went completely silent, yeah, 602 00:26:18,801 --> 00:26:21,920 Speaker 2: because he was like surprised that I responded in that way. Yeah, 603 00:26:21,721 --> 00:26:24,521 Speaker 2: but own it. You own every part of who you are. 604 00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 2: It no longer is this big scary thing that you 605 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:28,281 Speaker 2: need to fear judgment around. 606 00:26:28,001 --> 00:26:30,761 Speaker 1: And it doesn't come out in an unhealthy way exactly 607 00:26:31,001 --> 00:26:33,321 Speaker 1: Tran I joke about with Steve too. He's like, how 608 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,840 Speaker 1: much attention you need? I'm like ten times more giving, 609 00:26:35,921 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 1: more and more more bad. It's never enough. It's like 610 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:42,401 Speaker 1: a golden retriever. That's what Steve like, our golden retriever Taco. 611 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,001 Speaker 1: It's like his cup. It's never enough, it's never full. 612 00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,041 Speaker 1: Like you could pat him all day, he will still 613 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:48,360 Speaker 1: come up to you and put his pour up on 614 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,761 Speaker 1: you and just look at you with these puppy dog eyes. 615 00:26:50,761 --> 00:26:52,961 Speaker 1: It looks so stuffed. It just wants more love. Yeah, 616 00:26:52,961 --> 00:26:55,041 Speaker 1: it's like all about the attention and love, Like, yeah. 617 00:26:54,921 --> 00:26:56,561 Speaker 2: You know, what's the more that we get at the 618 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:57,521 Speaker 2: threshold increases. 619 00:26:57,681 --> 00:27:00,801 Speaker 1: It feels so good. Just validation but in a healthy, 620 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:04,321 Speaker 1: positive way, Like I love getting validation and I'm making impact. Yeah, 621 00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:06,281 Speaker 1: I love you telling that I've changed your mind or 622 00:27:06,321 --> 00:27:09,120 Speaker 1: changed your life, or that I've opened up a new perspective. 623 00:27:09,281 --> 00:27:10,521 Speaker 1: That kind of attention I love. 624 00:27:10,801 --> 00:27:13,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, like getting a response back that that was the 625 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:14,361 Speaker 2: reason the woman went and did that. 626 00:27:14,321 --> 00:27:16,721 Speaker 1: With her husbandly so freaking cool. 627 00:27:16,561 --> 00:27:18,880 Speaker 2: Or healed a layer of sexual shame for her epic 628 00:27:19,001 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 2: by triggering that from this one post perfect incredible love 629 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:26,360 Speaker 2: it all for. It's what we're here for. This makes 630 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,001 Speaker 2: me uncomfortable to watch, Yes, a good one. 631 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 1: Let's talk about that. This makes me uncomfortable to watch. 632 00:27:31,521 --> 00:27:33,360 Speaker 1: I feel you for sure, Like I said, I used 633 00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,840 Speaker 1: to feel uncomfortable watching this too. But like that's the question, 634 00:27:35,921 --> 00:27:38,521 Speaker 1: why what about that makes you feel uncomfortable? Is it 635 00:27:38,561 --> 00:27:40,880 Speaker 1: watching another woman with that many clothes on? Is it 636 00:27:40,921 --> 00:27:43,961 Speaker 1: the way she moves? Is it because you've shamed your 637 00:27:44,001 --> 00:27:46,720 Speaker 1: sexual energy? Is it because it's highlighting that maybe you 638 00:27:46,721 --> 00:27:49,001 Speaker 1: don't have that connection with your partner, Like there's reasons 639 00:27:49,041 --> 00:27:51,240 Speaker 1: like get curious, get out of journal? Why does this 640 00:27:51,281 --> 00:27:54,440 Speaker 1: make feeluncomfortable? This makes you feel uncomfortable because I can 641 00:27:54,481 --> 00:27:57,120 Speaker 1: see how she's asked. This makes you feel uncomfortable because 642 00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,600 Speaker 1: she's body rolling with her legs. Bread. This makes you 643 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,600 Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable because I'm assuming Steve has a heart on. Yeah. 644 00:28:03,001 --> 00:28:06,400 Speaker 1: This makes you feel uncomfortable because I've never seen anything 645 00:28:06,441 --> 00:28:08,840 Speaker 1: like this. Yes, this makes you feel uncomfortable because actually 646 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,920 Speaker 1: feels like a best friend and I don't know, I 647 00:28:10,961 --> 00:28:14,480 Speaker 1: shouldn't see this. Yeah, Like what about that makes you 648 00:28:14,481 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable and peel are back? Yeah, there's a reason there, 649 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,121 Speaker 1: and there's like so many hidden gems within that, Yeah, 650 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:23,001 Speaker 1: that you then can explore and free yourself off. 651 00:28:23,041 --> 00:28:25,561 Speaker 2: And especially the unpacking the judgments too, of like I 652 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:27,840 Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable because I would never do this. 653 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:29,600 Speaker 1: Yes, that is a good one. 654 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:33,161 Speaker 2: Like because if you would never do that, like there's 655 00:28:33,201 --> 00:28:36,121 Speaker 2: something there under that. Okay, what about it is super triggering? 656 00:28:36,201 --> 00:28:38,881 Speaker 2: Why would you never do that? What is the judgment 657 00:28:38,961 --> 00:28:40,521 Speaker 2: that you associate that with? 658 00:28:40,761 --> 00:28:41,081 Speaker 1: Okay? 659 00:28:41,081 --> 00:28:43,081 Speaker 2: Cool, I would never do that because people would think 660 00:28:43,081 --> 00:28:46,161 Speaker 2: I'm a slot. Yes, because I think this is derogatory. 661 00:28:46,321 --> 00:28:48,161 Speaker 2: People will assume that I. 662 00:28:48,161 --> 00:28:50,321 Speaker 1: Just want a tention, Like my coworkers won't like me, 663 00:28:50,401 --> 00:28:53,521 Speaker 1: my family won't accept me, my son will judge me, 664 00:28:53,681 --> 00:28:56,240 Speaker 1: like all those things. It's all fear based. Yeah, so 665 00:28:56,361 --> 00:28:58,561 Speaker 1: then it's like this big shiny light that you are 666 00:28:58,561 --> 00:29:00,960 Speaker 1: living in fear. When you're living in fear, you're a 667 00:29:01,041 --> 00:29:03,521 Speaker 1: prisoner in your own mind. And that's what we're talking about, 668 00:29:03,601 --> 00:29:05,961 Speaker 1: is like setting yourself free, your life will change. 669 00:29:06,241 --> 00:29:10,441 Speaker 2: And yeah, and this is the conversation, Like when you 670 00:29:10,601 --> 00:29:13,881 Speaker 2: understand what it is that your own judgments are of 671 00:29:13,921 --> 00:29:16,761 Speaker 2: why you don't allow yourself to do it, you'll understand 672 00:29:16,761 --> 00:29:19,401 Speaker 2: why you judge other people for it too, Because if 673 00:29:19,401 --> 00:29:21,881 Speaker 2: the judgment is people will perceive me as a slut, 674 00:29:21,921 --> 00:29:24,681 Speaker 2: people will perceive me as attention seeking, people will perceive 675 00:29:24,761 --> 00:29:28,121 Speaker 2: me as dirty or naughty or whatever the story is, 676 00:29:28,801 --> 00:29:31,161 Speaker 2: you're automatically projecting that onto other people who do that, 677 00:29:31,601 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 2: which is why you don't allow yourself to do it, 678 00:29:33,481 --> 00:29:37,201 Speaker 2: because it's actually your own internalized judgments on being sexually expressed. 679 00:29:37,361 --> 00:29:40,041 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know what's funny too, Those words just 680 00:29:40,081 --> 00:29:43,961 Speaker 1: spark something for me, like dirty, naughty, slutty. Say people 681 00:29:44,001 --> 00:29:45,561 Speaker 1: to call me that a year ago, I'll be like, 682 00:29:45,641 --> 00:29:48,601 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, like, no, I'm not dirty, No, I'm 683 00:29:48,641 --> 00:29:51,161 Speaker 1: not slutty. I've only been with three men, like no, no, no. 684 00:29:51,281 --> 00:29:53,481 Speaker 1: Whereas now if someone calls me dirty, slutty and naughty, 685 00:29:53,561 --> 00:29:55,281 Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, damn straight, I am. You're like a 686 00:29:55,361 --> 00:29:58,241 Speaker 1: muscle see me. I'm a good girl. That's a good girl. 687 00:29:58,681 --> 00:30:01,721 Speaker 1: Damn straight, I am right. Stee's little naughty slutty girl. 688 00:30:02,041 --> 00:30:04,481 Speaker 1: I'm like and I love it. Yeah, being in that energy, 689 00:30:04,641 --> 00:30:07,401 Speaker 1: Like why why is that so wrong to feel naughty, 690 00:30:07,481 --> 00:30:09,001 Speaker 1: to feel slutty? You know? 691 00:30:09,161 --> 00:30:11,641 Speaker 2: And it's funny because we all do it. Every are 692 00:30:11,641 --> 00:30:14,041 Speaker 2: doing it behind closed doors, but nobody talks about it publicly. 693 00:30:14,121 --> 00:30:16,321 Speaker 2: And it's like, why do you have to be just 694 00:30:16,401 --> 00:30:16,921 Speaker 2: one thing? 695 00:30:17,841 --> 00:30:18,641 Speaker 1: This is what I like? 696 00:30:18,921 --> 00:30:22,641 Speaker 2: Is this whole being multiple things? Yeah, you can be 697 00:30:22,721 --> 00:30:25,240 Speaker 2: somebody who is kind, you can also be innocent, you 698 00:30:25,281 --> 00:30:28,121 Speaker 2: can also be playful, you can be the funny one, 699 00:30:28,121 --> 00:30:30,161 Speaker 2: but you can also be naughty. Yeah, and you can 700 00:30:30,201 --> 00:30:33,641 Speaker 2: also be super sexual and you can be a saucy 701 00:30:33,681 --> 00:30:37,521 Speaker 2: minx who likes reading smart books. There's so many ways 702 00:30:37,561 --> 00:30:40,921 Speaker 2: that you can express yourself and ways to express yourself, 703 00:30:41,241 --> 00:30:44,241 Speaker 2: that you are not just one thing, not one thing, 704 00:30:44,281 --> 00:30:47,081 Speaker 2: and to limit yourself as one thing is to literally 705 00:30:47,121 --> 00:30:47,720 Speaker 2: live alive. 706 00:30:48,481 --> 00:30:52,161 Speaker 1: That is dull, dull, so dull, so boring. Yeah. I 707 00:30:52,161 --> 00:30:53,960 Speaker 1: don't want to just be the good girl or just 708 00:30:54,001 --> 00:30:56,601 Speaker 1: be the mum, or just be known as the hustler. Yeah, 709 00:30:56,641 --> 00:30:59,241 Speaker 1: oh way, let me be known as naughty as well. 710 00:30:59,241 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 2: It's like, you want to post your smoothie videos with Tyler, 711 00:31:01,481 --> 00:31:03,481 Speaker 2: but you also want to be a spicy minx, you. 712 00:31:03,481 --> 00:31:07,321 Speaker 1: Say, Betty Crocker, I'm like, oh my god. One day, 713 00:31:07,481 --> 00:31:09,721 Speaker 1: I'm like, it's smoothie time, I'm playing au title and 714 00:31:09,801 --> 00:31:12,081 Speaker 1: next but I'm posting up dance and I love all 715 00:31:12,121 --> 00:31:15,681 Speaker 1: sides of myself. We love variety, we do. We love variety. 716 00:31:16,281 --> 00:31:18,481 Speaker 1: If you don't follow me on Instagram, what are you doing? 717 00:31:20,361 --> 00:31:22,761 Speaker 1: But I want to read out the caption that I put. 718 00:31:22,761 --> 00:31:24,561 Speaker 1: And I also read another caption the other day that 719 00:31:24,641 --> 00:31:28,121 Speaker 1: I just thought was a bit empowering. A couple's lop 720 00:31:28,201 --> 00:31:30,521 Speaker 1: dance class. Say what, yep, we did that? It was 721 00:31:30,561 --> 00:31:32,361 Speaker 1: so much fun. I already know what some people might 722 00:31:32,361 --> 00:31:34,561 Speaker 1: be thinking, why would you post this? I could never 723 00:31:34,761 --> 00:31:36,520 Speaker 1: that's too much. And I get it because I used 724 00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:38,761 Speaker 1: to be that person. I used to judge. I used 725 00:31:38,761 --> 00:31:40,921 Speaker 1: to cringe at things that made me feel uncomfortable, not 726 00:31:40,961 --> 00:31:43,121 Speaker 1: out loud, but in my own mind, because deep down 727 00:31:43,161 --> 00:31:45,440 Speaker 1: I was suppressing that part of me. For most of 728 00:31:45,481 --> 00:31:47,321 Speaker 1: my life, I lived in a box. I built myself 729 00:31:47,361 --> 00:31:49,681 Speaker 1: the good girl, the not too much girl, the fitness girl, 730 00:31:49,801 --> 00:31:52,720 Speaker 1: the mum entrepreneur, the relatable girl, the one who had 731 00:31:52,761 --> 00:31:55,961 Speaker 1: to stay polished, proper and quote unquote normal. But over 732 00:31:55,961 --> 00:31:57,761 Speaker 1: the last few years, even more so in the past 733 00:31:57,841 --> 00:32:00,440 Speaker 1: few months, I've been peeling back those layers, asking myself 734 00:32:00,481 --> 00:32:03,401 Speaker 1: deeper questions. Well, why have I thought that? Where did 735 00:32:03,401 --> 00:32:06,481 Speaker 1: that judgment come from? Is that the actual truth? Why 736 00:32:06,521 --> 00:32:09,161 Speaker 1: do I feel uncomfortable when I'm triggered? What is this 737 00:32:09,201 --> 00:32:12,121 Speaker 1: showing me within? Maybe there is another way. Maybe I 738 00:32:12,161 --> 00:32:14,720 Speaker 1: do want that, or to be that or express in 739 00:32:14,761 --> 00:32:17,881 Speaker 1: that way. I began a new era of me reclaiming 740 00:32:17,881 --> 00:32:21,841 Speaker 1: my expression, my sensuality, my playful, cheeky, sexy side that's 741 00:32:21,881 --> 00:32:24,960 Speaker 1: always been there, just hidden under fear, shame, and the 742 00:32:25,001 --> 00:32:28,241 Speaker 1: pressure to be the example. And here's the wildest part. 743 00:32:28,481 --> 00:32:30,641 Speaker 1: The less that I judge myself the less I judge 744 00:32:30,681 --> 00:32:33,641 Speaker 1: anyone else, and how beautiful to free myself and others 745 00:32:33,681 --> 00:32:36,440 Speaker 1: of that. I feel free in my body, safe and 746 00:32:36,481 --> 00:32:39,161 Speaker 1: solid in my relationship, and grounded in who I am. 747 00:32:39,441 --> 00:32:42,721 Speaker 1: And it's not just freeing, it's electrifying. I feel alive, 748 00:32:42,881 --> 00:32:45,281 Speaker 1: I feel awake, I feel at peace, and I know 749 00:32:45,401 --> 00:32:47,801 Speaker 1: this is just the beginning. I'm showing this not for 750 00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:50,440 Speaker 1: attention or approval, but because once upon a time I 751 00:32:50,521 --> 00:32:52,521 Speaker 1: saw a video like this and I felt so much. 752 00:32:52,801 --> 00:32:56,720 Speaker 1: I felt jealousy, curiosity, shame, and I was intrigued. It 753 00:32:56,801 --> 00:32:58,961 Speaker 1: stirred something inside me because a part of me wanted 754 00:32:58,961 --> 00:33:01,441 Speaker 1: that kind of freedom, that kind of connection to my body, 755 00:33:01,641 --> 00:33:04,761 Speaker 1: my power, my partner, and my truth. So if this 756 00:33:05,281 --> 00:33:07,601 Speaker 1: something inside you, I want you to lean in, ask 757 00:33:07,641 --> 00:33:10,561 Speaker 1: yourself why, and maybe just maybe give yourself permission to 758 00:33:10,601 --> 00:33:13,801 Speaker 1: feel more, express more, and be more. Because we get 759 00:33:13,801 --> 00:33:15,841 Speaker 1: to write our own rule book, and mine includes a 760 00:33:15,921 --> 00:33:19,440 Speaker 1: lap dance, more deeper conversations, more sensuality, and helping other 761 00:33:19,481 --> 00:33:22,881 Speaker 1: women break free from their own judgments. Oh every word, 762 00:33:23,281 --> 00:33:25,561 Speaker 1: thank you. Even reading that back, I'm like, oh, it 763 00:33:25,601 --> 00:33:28,161 Speaker 1: just feels so good. And then I posted another one 764 00:33:28,161 --> 00:33:30,961 Speaker 1: the other day which is similar, just about how I said, 765 00:33:31,081 --> 00:33:34,081 Speaker 1: Now I've unlocked this and freed myself, it's kind of 766 00:33:34,121 --> 00:33:36,041 Speaker 1: overpoured into every other area of my life, and I 767 00:33:36,121 --> 00:33:39,121 Speaker 1: just want us to have more conversations around feeling alive, 768 00:33:39,281 --> 00:33:41,321 Speaker 1: Like every day you can feel alive when you're in 769 00:33:41,321 --> 00:33:44,961 Speaker 1: this energy. Right, Yeah, So this is my next caption. 770 00:33:45,521 --> 00:33:47,561 Speaker 1: There's a fire inside of you that's begging to come 771 00:33:47,561 --> 00:33:49,720 Speaker 1: back to life, not just to cope or function, but 772 00:33:49,801 --> 00:33:52,881 Speaker 1: to feel, to burn, to come alive. We've been told 773 00:33:52,921 --> 00:33:56,761 Speaker 1: to prioritize being productive, polished, and put together, But what 774 00:33:56,841 --> 00:33:59,321 Speaker 1: if the real magic is in being turned the fuck on, 775 00:33:59,961 --> 00:34:02,281 Speaker 1: not just by someone else, but by your own life, 776 00:34:02,521 --> 00:34:05,480 Speaker 1: by your morning routine, by your creativity, the way your 777 00:34:05,481 --> 00:34:07,801 Speaker 1: body moves, your day to day living, the way you 778 00:34:07,801 --> 00:34:10,041 Speaker 1: feel when the sun touches your skin, or you overflow 779 00:34:10,081 --> 00:34:12,161 Speaker 1: with good energy to anybody and everyone you come in 780 00:34:12,201 --> 00:34:14,681 Speaker 1: contact with. But how good it feels to say no 781 00:34:14,841 --> 00:34:17,081 Speaker 1: to what drains you and yes to what lights you up. 782 00:34:17,441 --> 00:34:21,721 Speaker 1: You deserve a life that feels like foreplay, anticipation, excitement, pleasure, 783 00:34:21,841 --> 00:34:24,321 Speaker 1: and play. A life where you're using and desire for 784 00:34:24,361 --> 00:34:27,241 Speaker 1: your dreams, your passions, your body, and your truth. Because 785 00:34:27,241 --> 00:34:30,521 Speaker 1: when a woman is turned on. She's unapologetic, she's electric, 786 00:34:30,681 --> 00:34:34,401 Speaker 1: she's magnet. She's dangerous in all the best ways. So 787 00:34:34,481 --> 00:34:37,401 Speaker 1: start asking yourself what turns me on emotionally? What turns 788 00:34:37,401 --> 00:34:40,481 Speaker 1: me on spiritually? What turns me on physically? What parts 789 00:34:40,521 --> 00:34:42,601 Speaker 1: of me have I been dimming that are desperate to 790 00:34:42,641 --> 00:34:46,000 Speaker 1: be seen, touched and explored? And why have I dimmed 791 00:34:46,001 --> 00:34:49,241 Speaker 1: this part of myself for so long? You don't need permission, 792 00:34:49,521 --> 00:34:51,681 Speaker 1: you don't need to be ready. You just need to 793 00:34:51,681 --> 00:34:54,401 Speaker 1: be willing to say yes to your desires, to your pleasure, 794 00:34:54,521 --> 00:34:56,881 Speaker 1: to your power, to a life that is fully yours 795 00:34:57,401 --> 00:34:59,841 Speaker 1: that sometimes you stop and think, wow, is this my 796 00:34:59,881 --> 00:35:02,521 Speaker 1: actual life? Because whoever is reading this, you weren't born 797 00:35:02,561 --> 00:35:04,841 Speaker 1: to just survive. You're here to thrive. You were born 798 00:35:04,881 --> 00:35:06,841 Speaker 1: to feel all and there's only one person who can 799 00:35:06,881 --> 00:35:09,321 Speaker 1: peel back the layers, make the changes, and stop making 800 00:35:09,361 --> 00:35:11,761 Speaker 1: yourself small and missing out on all of life's pleasures. 801 00:35:12,241 --> 00:35:14,921 Speaker 1: Oh so cool. I love that, so cool, I love 802 00:35:14,961 --> 00:35:17,481 Speaker 1: this arab here, It's so fun. Thanks for joining us. 803 00:35:17,641 --> 00:35:22,441 Speaker 1: Feeling passionate, oh, feeling ferry, feeling excited. Yeah, I'm like 804 00:35:22,441 --> 00:35:25,561 Speaker 1: my underwear went. I was gonna say, I am hornie 805 00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:31,001 Speaker 1: gotta go anyway, moving on and bye.