Speaker 1: I'll get at it's Harps and Melissa, it's the Bloody Daniel's,
Speaker 1: it's all of us. It's the U Project. It's a Tuesday.
Speaker 1: I'm sitting in bare feet pair of jocks. I could
Speaker 1: be wearing shorts. I might not. Melissa high Hello, I'm
Speaker 1: so good. I'm so good. I'm on my third cup
Speaker 1: of tea for the morning because I'm a fucking crazy
Speaker 1: man and life is good. It's going to be twenty
Speaker 1: nine degrees today. I'm going to get one of the
Speaker 1: motorbikes out of the garage, punts around Beach Road like
Speaker 1: a big dickhead, and interview a few people and do
Speaker 1: a bit of work. That is my day, So I
Speaker 1: think very exciting.
Speaker 2: But I am happy given what you just said, I
Speaker 2: am happy that it's kind of from the chest up
Speaker 2: that we've got happening on sale today.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you who's disappointed, Chezy Dana. I don't think
Speaker 1: you could say that. I'm pretty sure she's curious at
Speaker 1: the very least good a family. How are you?
Speaker 3: Hello, I am curious. Do you have nice toenails?
Speaker 2: Is that a benchmark or something for you?
Speaker 1: Is it?
Speaker 2: I didn't even know this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just really I'm really off yellow Tina lately.
Speaker 1: All right, do you want to have a look. I
Speaker 1: don't want to be bragging at bragster, but I have
Speaker 1: world class feet. Right, this is terrible on a podcast.
Speaker 1: Hey on, cheersy, I don't know, I'm not that hang on, hell,
Speaker 1: I just nearly dislocated me. Hip, I'll send you a shot.
Speaker 1: I'll send you a shot. Enough about my toes? How
Speaker 1: are you both well?
Speaker 2: I'm pretty horny now those beautiful trotters.
Speaker 1: In the queue. Hey, I could have Melissa. What's that
Speaker 1: called with the special OnlyFans? Only fans?
Speaker 2: Why did Melissa know that?
Speaker 1: Ye? Are you talking about it the other day? That's bullshit.
Speaker 1: She's got her own No, she's the most camera shy
Speaker 1: person in the world. I put up a photo of
Speaker 1: her yesterday in our Facebook kind of thing, and that
Speaker 1: would be about the second photo in about five years,
Speaker 1: and she wasn't happy with me. But anyway, nonetheless, I'm.
Speaker 2: Not happy with you because when you when you put
Speaker 2: your foot up in the air like that, one of
Speaker 2: your balls for that of your shorts, I know.
Speaker 1: But two were all right? Geez cheys, he can you
Speaker 1: rain him in? Please?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I'm pinching him under the chair.
Speaker 1: Is that you know? Like, am I mistaken thinking that
Speaker 1: you guys started out working together and that you were
Speaker 1: producing slash wrangling him in a TV capacity and that
Speaker 1: maybe that hasn't stopped.
Speaker 3: Yes, you are absolutely correct.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we hated each other. We worked together. She was
Speaker 2: a strong minded, determined person and I was an arrogant
Speaker 2: little go getter, and we clashed a lot because her
Speaker 2: ideas were supposedly, in her eyes, amazing, but mine were better.
Speaker 2: And then one day we brushed hands and then we
Speaker 2: weirdly fell in love, and I had this crazy tingling
Speaker 2: feeling that hit me from head to toe and I
Speaker 2: was like, I can't live without this woman.
Speaker 1: Is that a metaphor we brushed hand or you literally
Speaker 1: physically brushed hands?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I remember I brushed hands as I was turning
Speaker 2: around and just sort of brushed hands with her and
Speaker 2: I was like, WHOA, what was that? Yeah, but she
Speaker 2: still hasn't stopped looking after me. That you are correct.
Speaker 2: I came in this podcast and I had one condition
Speaker 2: that I have nothing to do with the organization of it.
Speaker 1: M Yeah, well that's pretty much my arrangement as well.
Speaker 1: I get a list each day of all the things
Speaker 1: that I need to do, and that covers everything from
Speaker 1: breakfast to podcasting, showering, and I'm allowed to have two
Speaker 1: shits a day and Welsa, thanks for scheduling that in.
Speaker 2: Anytime, because we're still in the phase of having a
Speaker 2: two year old, so we can't go to the bathroom
Speaker 2: without like these sort of like alien apocalyptic fingers underneath
Speaker 2: the door, you know, sort of reaching through like it's
Speaker 2: an alien attack.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or asking to look in the bowl, trying to.
Speaker 1: Go mmmmmm yeah. Well, I mean, it's all about the learning.
Speaker 1: It's their sponges at that stage. And here's Mum's poof
Speaker 1: for anyone who's interested in You're welcome. He's corn Corn Sorn.
Speaker 1: And now all of our five remaining listeners have jumped
Speaker 1: out cheersy. What was your first impression of the the
Speaker 1: insecure bloke lacking self esteem and confidence was? What was
Speaker 1: your impression of him?
Speaker 3: He was very distracted, He was very focused on motorsport,
Speaker 3: and what I didn't realize was that he was quite shy.
Speaker 3: He really wanted to do motorsport, he enjoyed doing TV,
Speaker 3: but I didn't really care that much about his motorsport
Speaker 3: career because I was there to produce a television segment
Speaker 3: and an important one, so trying to get him to
Speaker 3: focus on what we were doing, I found that extremely frustrating.
Speaker 1: It's one of the hard things about producing talent that
Speaker 1: they're creative and they've got lots of potential and charisma
Speaker 1: and all of that stuff. Some of them, not all
Speaker 1: of them, let's be honest, but it's like trying to
Speaker 1: wrangle a bunch of fucking cats. It's like a dog
Speaker 1: with three dicks, like he's all over the joint.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yes, I've produced a lot of people in my lifetime,
Speaker 3: and most of them are like that. But I think
Speaker 3: Grant was different because he was essentially extremely nice and
Speaker 3: very humble, much more humble than people realized, and he
Speaker 3: was just so naturally talented, and yet never really backed
Speaker 3: himself or felt that he was that talented. He was
Speaker 3: just kind of more focused on the motorsport. I think
Speaker 3: for a reason there something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is a fair assumption, because motorsport was my
Speaker 2: first love since I was a kid, and you got
Speaker 2: to remember, I only got into television because we weren't
Speaker 2: from a wealthy family to get started in motorsport. You know,
Speaker 2: it's an expensive sport from go karting to whatever level
Speaker 2: until the sponsors start flowing. So like I got into
Speaker 2: motorsport purely to just find sponsors to continue in further
Speaker 2: my motorsport career. So it held my heart and TV
Speaker 2: I never felt like I fit in, you know, I wasn't.
Speaker 2: I wasn't as serious as the rest of them. They
Speaker 2: were all quite you know, particularly in those early days.
Speaker 2: They were a little bit more pompous really than I
Speaker 2: felt comfortable being. And for all those listening that I've
Speaker 2: walked alongside.
Speaker 1: Shout out to the wankers and their names are alphabetically
Speaker 1: Larry am Darne. Shout out to Laze. We love Larry.
Speaker 1: Just fucking with you, Larry.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh good, No, give it back twice as hard.
Speaker 1: No worry about that.
Speaker 2: So I kind of felt like I was a pretender
Speaker 2: in that scene and not the real deal. I didn't. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So motorsport was was my crowd, that was my community,
Speaker 2: and I never felt like I had one until I
Speaker 2: got into motorsport and I found I found my people
Speaker 2: and I found my confidence. So TV I could kind
Speaker 2: of take or leave, which actually ended up working for
Speaker 2: me because you'd be a little bit naughtier, or you
Speaker 2: take some risks, or you do things a little bit differently,
Speaker 2: you talk a little bit differently. And that worked for me,
Speaker 2: and that's because I actually just didn't give as much
Speaker 2: of a shit about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I reckon the more desperate you are to do
Speaker 1: something sometimes the worse, because the more desperate you are,
Speaker 1: the less you are yourself, and the less we see
Speaker 1: the authentic.
Speaker 2: Queue, particularly in television in those days, you know, like
Speaker 2: it's it's still pretty formal, but you no one would
Speaker 2: to be successful in television, you need as many people
Speaker 2: to not hate you as possible, right, So you need
Speaker 2: to round off a lot of rough edges so for
Speaker 2: your show to have the most amount of viewers, which
Speaker 2: is our only gauge of success really in this game,
Speaker 2: people have to kind of at least not hate you.
Speaker 2: So therefore you end up sort of putting yourself into
Speaker 2: a gray zone where you don't necessarily go out on
Speaker 2: a limb and you take no chances, so you end
Speaker 2: up just being this vanilla product. So I didn't value
Speaker 2: it as much because I could take her to leave
Speaker 2: it because I had something else going on, which was
Speaker 2: the most, so I was like, fuck it, I'll just
Speaker 2: say it, or I'll just do it, or I'll just
Speaker 2: go nude, or I'll jump out of a helicopter a
Speaker 2: bungee jumping or you know what I mean. Like if
Speaker 2: my barometer was when I was on Sunrise as the
Speaker 2: weather man, if I could make Koshi or Mel, who
Speaker 2: was the host at that time, uncomfortable, I would gain
Speaker 2: an extra ten thousand fans. So that was my yardstick
Speaker 2: every day, which I pushed.
Speaker 1: I think people would pigeonhole you as I'm doing a
Speaker 1: very long range assessment, but an extrovert, But I don't
Speaker 1: actually think you are. I don't think you're a pure extrovert.
Speaker 1: I think you'd probably be closer to the introvert end
Speaker 1: of the scale. But you're very fucking socially adaptable and aware,
Speaker 1: am I right?
Speaker 3: Chez He he is not an extrovert at all. He
Speaker 3: is very socially aware. But he's also a huge impath
Speaker 3: and it's taken us a long time to recognize those.
Speaker 3: I guess, you know, parts of Grant because when he
Speaker 3: would go out in big group settings or you know,
Speaker 3: and people would expect this real high energy kind of
Speaker 3: full of himself, you know, full of confidence personality. That
Speaker 3: was a performance which took an extremely huge amount of
Speaker 3: energy and we didn't recognize that for a long time.
Speaker 3: But he's definitely not an extrovert, are you No?
Speaker 1: No, yeah, well I think that like I have, like you,
Speaker 1: whatever you do, right, if you're sting a TV show,
Speaker 1: you need to bring a certain energy and so there's
Speaker 1: a persona. But that's not being a fraud. That's like
Speaker 1: you're doing a job. You have to bring that energy
Speaker 1: and bring that personality, and you need to bring it
Speaker 1: all together and you need to make the show work.
Speaker 1: But that guy is not the same guy that's sitting
Speaker 1: at home with the kids, right.
Speaker 2: No, definitely not. I see some people think and believe,
Speaker 2: and I've been around a lot of these, particularly in
Speaker 2: the early days of my career coming up. Some people
Speaker 2: believe it's enough to just be on camera. I'm on camera,
Speaker 2: therefore I'm a big deal. Therefore I'm better than you.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of that. I look at it as
Speaker 2: this is a very fortunate opportunity for me to have
Speaker 2: a career and pay off my mortgage. People need to
Speaker 2: watch this show, so therefore I need to be so
Speaker 2: thankful that they're watching that I need to give them
Speaker 2: my absolute best right. People's lives are hard. Paying the
Speaker 2: bills is hard. Kids are hard. When if they sit
Speaker 2: down to watch, say your game show at six o'clock,
Speaker 2: to say family Feud, I feel like I owe them
Speaker 2: something special. I owe them a show. I want to
Speaker 2: take their mind off their troubles. I want to make
Speaker 2: them laugh if their day's being shit. So I feel
Speaker 2: that's my duty. You can't take that for granted. So
Speaker 2: that is the utmost of the highest of importance for me,
Speaker 2: is I need to deliver for that one audience member
Speaker 2: who's tuned in to watch, because that's a fortunate privilege.
Speaker 2: But some people aren't always like that. So but to
Speaker 2: turn it up to eleven like that does require a lot.
Speaker 2: So you know, Therefore, it's took me a long time,
Speaker 2: and it took me a lot of personal crashes, to
Speaker 2: be honest, I run into a brick wall a lot.
Speaker 3: Even when he was first doing Family Feud, he was
Speaker 3: really upbeaten, you know, high energy, and people would always
Speaker 3: comment on, God, how is he at home? Is this
Speaker 3: energizer bunny? And he'd come home and almost sleep for
Speaker 3: two days. It just took him that long to recover
Speaker 3: from being so on.
Speaker 1: I think also when you are very empathetic, which like
Speaker 1: I don't know, I feel like in the first five
Speaker 1: ten minutes just getting to know you a little bit,
Speaker 1: it's like I think that that doing as well you
Speaker 1: basically just said that cheers you, but doing that high
Speaker 1: energy stuff where you've got to go and you know,
Speaker 1: some days I do full day workshops with a company
Speaker 1: where I speak for eight hours, you know, and then
Speaker 1: coming home from that, I'm nearly in a coma because
Speaker 1: for eight hours you need to be fucking amazing because
Speaker 1: they're paying, you know, you to bring an energy, to
Speaker 1: create an experience, to coach, to share, to do what
Speaker 1: you do, and to create an experience that hopefully will
Speaker 1: be a catalyst for good stuff.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, you know, I'm very empathetic
Speaker 1: as well in that I feel what people feel. And
Speaker 1: if there's one person in the room who hates me,
Speaker 1: but nine hundred and ninety nine who loved me, the
Speaker 1: one affects me more than the nine to ninety nine
Speaker 1: because I'm a big fucking baby, right, And people don't
Speaker 1: realize that when you are confident on a mic or
Speaker 1: in front of a camera. People think that what they
Speaker 1: see on the telly is the totality of the person.
Speaker 1: But it's not the case.
Speaker 2: No, definitely not. And to prove your point and to
Speaker 2: agree with you that you're right, I can't MC events
Speaker 2: for that exact reason. So I can talk to two
Speaker 2: million and a barrel of a camera, but I can't
Speaker 2: talk to a room of twenty. It is paralyzingly crippling.
Speaker 2: And I'll spend a week leading up to it, like
Speaker 2: in agony in my stomach, in nerves and anxiety, and
Speaker 2: I can't do them for that one reason. What if
Speaker 2: this is a room that just doesn't give a shit,
Speaker 2: and that maybe they're all chatting and they're clinking glasses
Speaker 2: and they're having a great time, but no one's listening.
Speaker 2: And I feel like I'm not doing a very good
Speaker 2: job for the person who's paying me to be there,
Speaker 2: and I can't handle that. My skin's not thick enough
Speaker 2: to be able to just turn up and take the
Speaker 2: cash because I was taught the belief as a kid.
Speaker 2: Like I didn't go through university or anything like that.
Speaker 2: I worked in school holidays for free, so I would
Speaker 2: work in a country TV newsroom, washing the news cars, bloody,
Speaker 2: carrying the tripods. And I needed to find a way
Speaker 2: because I was never going to be smart enough to
Speaker 2: get an academic score to be able to go to
Speaker 2: UNI for journalism, so I had to find a backdoor.
Speaker 2: So I appreciate every rung of the ladder because it
Speaker 2: was unlikely that I would ever get there right, because
Speaker 2: it was against the odds. Everyone else was smart, was
Speaker 2: more worldly, was political. I had none of that. I
Speaker 2: was just a goofball. So when I now get to
Speaker 2: these roles, I feel like, because I was told the place,
Speaker 2: the way to get somewhere is to be a good
Speaker 2: person to be around, be the employee that they want
Speaker 2: you to be, and if you can't be good, be cheap. Right,
Speaker 2: So those three lessons I get to the top. So
Speaker 2: therefore I feel like I wanted to del for the company.
Speaker 2: If say six o'clock Family Feud, if those ratings are high,
Speaker 2: then the show afterwards is high and the advertising is high.
Speaker 2: I feel like, you know, I've got a bit of
Speaker 2: the company on my shoulders, and I'm responsible to deliver,
Speaker 2: So I kind of like you. I feel like I
Speaker 2: have to and they deserve me. My one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: But you know what I think is great about you
Speaker 1: saying what you're saying is it makes you relatable and
Speaker 1: real and authentic, and it's like, oh, Grant's insecure. Fuck
Speaker 1: good me too, Like I'm insecure when people because I'm
Speaker 1: confident and I can talk, people are blown away that
Speaker 1: I still have impluster syndrome, that I still feel not
Speaker 1: good enough, that I still all of those normal human things.
Speaker 1: And you can simultaneously be on Telly and nationally known
Speaker 1: and have a brand and have a profile and have
Speaker 1: people think highly of you while also feeling completely overwhelmed
Speaker 1: and anxious and unhappy and not sleeping and feeling like
Speaker 1: you're not good enough. Like those things not only can
Speaker 1: they coexist, they often coexist. No.
Speaker 2: I don't know why that is the case, but I
Speaker 2: think is it the insecurity and the lack of self
Speaker 2: belief that just made me try that extra ten percent
Speaker 2: harder than everyone else than the person next to me.
Speaker 2: Possibly the fact that I didn't think that I was
Speaker 2: enough meant I had to try harder to try and
Speaker 2: make up for that, And therefore you can you kind
Speaker 2: of just you're just going a little bit harder than
Speaker 2: everyone else at the same level as you, So you
Speaker 2: stand out from the pack a little bit. Possibly those
Speaker 2: painful things that you're talking about. Are you part of
Speaker 2: the success.
Speaker 1: As to why I reckon, there's two bits. So the
Speaker 1: first bit is I think that in our culture very much,
Speaker 1: we get our sense of self and identity and self
Speaker 1: worth from what we do. Right, So if you're awesome
Speaker 1: at something, oh, that's Grant the TV host, Chezi the
Speaker 1: produce said that whatever. Right, So that what you do
Speaker 1: becomes who you are and that can be taken away
Speaker 1: from you. That's my first thing. And when you and
Speaker 1: I'm not saying you did, but I know for a
Speaker 1: long time, for example, so I set up the first
Speaker 1: personal training centers in Australia, I wrote the first course.
Speaker 1: I was arguably maybe the first PT in Australia in
Speaker 1: nineteen eighty six, right, And for a whole long time,
Speaker 1: my sense of who I am came from my business
Speaker 1: and my brand and my body and my biceps and
Speaker 1: all this bullshit. But in the middle of that, I
Speaker 1: was fucking horribly insecure and riddled with self doubt and
Speaker 1: imposter syndrome. And it just took a long time to
Speaker 1: differentiate between what I did and what people thought of
Speaker 1: me and who I actually was in the middle of
Speaker 1: all of that. And when you do a deep dive
Speaker 1: on who am I beyond what people think of me?
Speaker 1: For me, that's the beginning of opening the door to
Speaker 1: self awareness.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would agree, and I've done a heck of
Speaker 2: a lot of work on that because I hid behind
Speaker 2: my identity for who I was, because I didn't believe
Speaker 2: there was any substance in here that worth two minutes,
Speaker 2: you know. So I surrounded myself in those vight Supercar
Speaker 2: race suit and trophies, and I surrounded myself in that
Speaker 2: family feud suit because I didn't think the sum of
Speaker 2: any of my parts were worth it. So, yeah, I
Speaker 2: needed those And I think that comes from, you know,
Speaker 2: a single mom. So I lived with my mom. We
Speaker 2: had a very very very modest means. I was living
Speaker 2: in an area where I looked around and no one
Speaker 2: had a life that I aspired to. No one was
Speaker 2: living a life while I was like, God, that's cool,
Speaker 2: look at that guy. Why wasn't that unreal? There wasn't
Speaker 2: a lot of aspiration around, And so I made a
Speaker 2: commitment to myself that I was like, I need to
Speaker 2: pull something out. I need to pull a rabbit out
Speaker 2: of a hat to get myself out of here and
Speaker 2: make a go of it. So every step was a
Speaker 2: precious step. But it was a conscious decision at about
Speaker 2: fourteen years of age to go, fuck this, there's got
Speaker 2: to be something better than this. I'm going to go
Speaker 2: for broke to try and reach it. Yeah, but it
Speaker 2: comes at a cost. It comes a cost of friendships,
Speaker 2: comes at a cost of family relationships. Yeah, you burn
Speaker 2: a lot in a way to make it, go for it.
Speaker 1: Without piercing in your pocket. What you have maybe deep
Speaker 1: down you know this. I'm sure shares you know that
Speaker 1: he has it. But what you do have, like you
Speaker 1: spoke about not being smart enough for UNI or this
Speaker 1: or that, I doubt. Firstly, there's fucking I'm in the
Speaker 1: middle of the academic system at the moment. Trust me, mate,
Speaker 1: There's a lot of people that are way fucking less
Speaker 1: intelligent than you, way less that they're doing good things academically.
Speaker 1: You could if you wanted to, but you don't need to.
Speaker 1: But what you do have in spades is emotional into us,
Speaker 1: emotional intelligence but also social intelligence. Like hardly anybody could
Speaker 1: stand in front of a TV or a bunch of
Speaker 1: TV cameras doing, for example, family feud, all the stuff
Speaker 1: that you did, like people don't. I did a tiny
Speaker 1: bit of Telly on Channel ten with David and Kim
Speaker 1: on the Morning Show. I used to go in each
Speaker 1: week for a few years and just sit on the
Speaker 1: couch and talk a bit of shit. But what you
Speaker 1: did and continue to do periodically is such an ability
Speaker 1: that very few wouldn't matter how much training, how much reading,
Speaker 1: how much prep, how much encouragement and coercion, ninety nine
Speaker 1: point nine per cent of the population got me included.
Speaker 1: We couldn't do what you can do, Like, that's an
Speaker 1: innate talent, and yes you've developed skill and knowledge and confidence,
Speaker 1: but that's an extreme form of intelligence. Social intelligence, emotional
Speaker 1: intelligence arguably the most important kind of intelligence you can have.
Speaker 1: It's just not rated in the academic kind of world
Speaker 1: as much as it should be. Anyway, steps down off soapbox.
Speaker 2: Well, I remember, I remember my family. I'd hear him
Speaker 2: on the phone, you know, when I'm in high school
Speaker 2: going what the fuck are we going to do with
Speaker 2: this kid?
Speaker 1: Like Jesus, what about Dumbo?
Speaker 2: What the fuck?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Well, like I was like, like I said, I was,
Speaker 2: I was working in school holidays, but they're like, we
Speaker 2: ain't going to get this kid into any anywhere, Like
Speaker 2: is he going to be is he going to be
Speaker 2: the bin collector? Like what kind of what are we
Speaker 2: going to do with him? And I could sense that,
Speaker 2: I could feel that hopelessness that they were, like, this
Speaker 2: kid doesn't fit in a system. He's not he's not
Speaker 2: he's not working in the system. He's not he's not
Speaker 2: going to make it in the system. And I just
Speaker 2: remember the remember I won't say it was disappointment, but
Speaker 2: fear that they had, like shit, we're concerned for this
Speaker 2: guy because what's he going to do? What's he going
Speaker 2: to contribute to society? And I think I heard that
Speaker 2: and it hurts so much that I was like, I'm
Speaker 2: going to have to manufacture something here, and that I
Speaker 2: think when you're working in the early days, I think
Speaker 2: you never The one thing I never did is always well,
Speaker 2: I made sure I always ask questions. I always asked
Speaker 2: for chances. Can I help you, can I can I
Speaker 2: do this? Can I work on weekends? Can I come
Speaker 2: in after an hours? Do this? And those little bits.
Speaker 2: It's amazing what opportunities come if you just go that
Speaker 2: extra extra bit, and they were the breaks. You know,
Speaker 2: I wasn't the smartest in the room, you know, when
Speaker 2: I was a cameraman, I wasn't the greatest shooter. When
Speaker 2: I was an editor, I certainly wasn't the fastest editor.
Speaker 2: When I was a journal you know, I could out
Speaker 2: one story today everyone else could knock out three. So
Speaker 2: I was underperforming in every single area. Yet that willingness
Speaker 2: to offer myself and just work that little bit harder
Speaker 2: or do someone a favor was the only thing that
Speaker 2: pulled me up the ladder. And because people you'd be
Speaker 2: surprised at how far someone will go to help you
Speaker 2: if you offer yourself. And that was the only ace
Speaker 2: that I had at my sleeve, the only ace, and
Speaker 2: no one else was doing it. Everyone would turn up
Speaker 2: and think that they were bigger than the role, or
Speaker 2: this is below me, or stuff this. I'm going home
Speaker 2: five minutes beforeward, dud to knock off, and I was
Speaker 2: the one that was there two hours later. And that
Speaker 2: was the only ace I had.
Speaker 1: Do you think people in the space that you played
Speaker 1: in for a long time and continue to have a
Speaker 1: sense of entitlement and because of that, maybe the work
Speaker 1: ethic and the the prepper or the ability to get
Speaker 1: uncomfortable or the willingness to get uncomfortable again and again
Speaker 1: is not there. Yeah, yep, because it's in the shit
Speaker 1: that you grow. Right, Like my background literally working with athletes,
Speaker 1: and you are slash. We're an athlete of sorts, believe
Speaker 1: it or not. Everyone motor car drivers are athletes. Don't
Speaker 1: worry about that. And like how you build strength in
Speaker 1: the gym literally is working against resistance. Is doing hard stuff.
Speaker 1: You go to the gym or whatever your training environment,
Speaker 1: you do hardship. The byproduct is physiological physiological adaptation. You
Speaker 1: get stronger, you build resilience, you build endurance, you build
Speaker 1: awareness and understanding, and then you come out the other
Speaker 1: side better. And so too emotionally and psychologically. You can't
Speaker 1: build strength in that space without doing hardship and without
Speaker 1: putting up your hand for what most people want.
Speaker 2: And working for free, working for free, but also putting
Speaker 2: in the effort to figure out what everyone else's roles
Speaker 2: are around you that all work together in unison to
Speaker 2: make you look good. Like I said before, people would
Speaker 2: go they do their piece to camera. Maybe they might
Speaker 2: be a news journo, and that was the biggest thing
Speaker 2: of the day, not how great an interview they did,
Speaker 2: not whether they did a good story, but it was
Speaker 2: just get about getting their head on camera. That's what
Speaker 2: they all looked forward to, because that made them famous. However,
Speaker 2: I was more interested in, Okay, how can I make
Speaker 2: the cameraman's job a little bit easier so we can
Speaker 2: get better stuff? How do I make sure the editor
Speaker 2: has what is needs so our story is just that
Speaker 2: little bit more engaging than the other journos. So you
Speaker 2: teach yourself to edit, teach yourself to shoot, so you
Speaker 2: have a broader understanding of all the pieces that conspire
Speaker 2: to make you who you are. So therefore you have
Speaker 2: a greater respect for the lighting crew, for the guy
Speaker 2: who pulls the cables, for the catering mob that keeps
Speaker 2: everyone fed to keep their motivation up and energy. You
Speaker 2: know you, it's I think a complete picture of those
Speaker 2: around Youunderstanding that you only are the sum of many parts,
Speaker 2: and you are a cog in the machine, I think
Speaker 2: is an important thing to learn and understand, because that's
Speaker 2: when you your rising tide lifts every boat.
Speaker 1: Then yeah, chezy, So you guys have a podcast on
Speaker 1: the same platform as us over shout out and over
Speaker 1: and over called it's all true? How wide? So I mean,
Speaker 1: you know this is a public thing right now. We
Speaker 1: have thousands and thousands of listeners today and shout out
Speaker 1: to our listeners, thanks your ace. How wide do you
Speaker 1: open the door on your real life, on your real thoughts, feelings, emotions, struggles?
Speaker 1: Do you open it all the way? Is it like
Speaker 1: ninety percent? How do you decide where to go and
Speaker 1: where not to go when you are talking to the
Speaker 1: public about personal stuff.
Speaker 3: That's a really good question. When we first started the podcast,
Speaker 3: I was quite pregnant and on a lot of medication
Speaker 3: to stop me from being sick because I had hyperemesis.
Speaker 3: So I was just very unwell.
Speaker 1: So I would like a really bad time to start
Speaker 1: a podcast, A very.
Speaker 3: Terrible time to start a podcast. I couldn't even drive
Speaker 3: properly at the time. A number of.
Speaker 2: She got six fines, six lines in a period of
Speaker 2: four weeks. So wow, that's right, Thank you?
Speaker 1: Do you want wine down the window? Window and guts?
Speaker 1: Did you do that?
Speaker 3: I was oblivious to the world.
Speaker 2: Our little baby though. When she did get pulled over
Speaker 2: and the police officer was standing at the door. It goes,
Speaker 2: please don't take my mom to jail.
Speaker 1: We need her.
Speaker 3: That's true. So at that point, I don't know, I
Speaker 3: was just I was very loose on you know, the
Speaker 3: on the stories, and just Grant would come in unprepared
Speaker 3: because that was kind.
Speaker 1: Of well, sit down.
Speaker 3: Really, that's what we wanted for the podcast because I
Speaker 3: think he's always been so prepared for everything that he does.
Speaker 3: You know, he tells family feud, he does TV, like
Speaker 3: he gets into the zone and he's fully prepared and
Speaker 3: he's you know, he knows what he's doing. Whereas what
Speaker 3: I really love about him and what I love in
Speaker 3: the podcast is him He's just a really great person
Speaker 3: and a really great talker, and I really wanted to
Speaker 3: kind of capture that, so, you know, having him just
Speaker 3: be his personal self and me being extremely loose, just
Speaker 3: you know, starting conversations that we probably should have started
Speaker 3: off air before we started on, and then Grant just
Speaker 3: patting them out. Nothing is really off limits. We have
Speaker 3: spoken about, you know, things that I wouldn't even tell
Speaker 3: my parents on the podcast.
Speaker 2: And most of the things, Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's like like give us a one for example, I.
Speaker 3: Always go back to this one story which I really
Speaker 3: wish that we didn't share, The.
Speaker 2: Time you shut yourself in the gold class cinema. No,
Speaker 2: that time, that one, that.
Speaker 1: Story, best story ever home, A lesson my days just
Speaker 1: got great. I can't believe Grant has just thrown his
Speaker 1: missus under the bus project.
Speaker 2: That's not thought you were going.
Speaker 1: But now I'm not that one you dighead the other one.
Speaker 3: People do come up and say to us often, you
Speaker 3: know that they remember that story. You know. I was
Speaker 3: just talking about how before we were getting married, I
Speaker 3: was on the road and somebody said, if you tried
Speaker 3: this Brazilian seed in water. You cut this Brazilian seed
Speaker 3: into eight parts and then you drink it and it
Speaker 3: basically absorbs all the fat in your guts. You're on
Speaker 3: the road, eating in pubs every night, traveling, right, So
Speaker 3: I thought, you try this and try and lose a
Speaker 3: bit of weight before the wedding.
Speaker 1: What could go wrong?
Speaker 3: And because I had diagnosed ADHD back then, I thought
Speaker 3: I'll take half a seed, not the eight. Yeah, so that,
Speaker 3: you know, ended up in an explosive situation that I'm
Speaker 3: not proud of. That Grant very kindly mentioned on the podcast,
Speaker 3: but that was not the story I was thinking of.
Speaker 3: But there's plenty, there's plenty. That's why we can't go
Speaker 3: back and listen to what we've said, whether it's.
Speaker 2: Like anxiety or post natal anxiety. And you know, Chezy's
Speaker 2: been very open about, you know, the things that she's encountered,
Speaker 2: you know, in our long life together.
Speaker 3: As we both have post traumatic stress. We've spoken about
Speaker 3: Grant with his impostor syndrome, you know that filters into
Speaker 3: every part of his life with.
Speaker 2: Broken backs, pain, medication, addictions. Yeah, it's just codependency, codependency.
Speaker 2: She's finishing my sentences, I says, codependency.
Speaker 1: So that's absolute. But don't you think though, when you
Speaker 1: are like, I don't know, I've never really met scripted, prepared,
Speaker 1: planned Grant. I've only met you now, right, And for me,
Speaker 1: this version, well, I guess it's a situation dependent. But
Speaker 1: I think in a podcast, the less planned, the less prepared,
Speaker 1: the less scripted, the less choreographed, the more people are
Speaker 1: going to connect, Like, the more raw and real the conversation.
Speaker 1: Like people say to us all the time, we're not
Speaker 1: the most I'm not the smartest, for sure, we're not
Speaker 1: the most polished. We're not the most professional podcast, but
Speaker 1: hopefully we're one of the most authentic in that there's
Speaker 1: zero prep. I'll have a bit of a read of
Speaker 1: who I'm chatting to, but there's no list of questions,
Speaker 1: there's no there's no pre planning. I don't bring up
Speaker 1: you guys, And like I get asked to come on
Speaker 1: other podcasts, they send me the questions. I go, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to read your questions. I'm not going to
Speaker 1: do a pre planned fucking conversation. And they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: but I go, no, just talk to me and see
Speaker 1: where we go. I think that's part of the appeal
Speaker 1: of you two.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 2: I think so it's not how we used to go
Speaker 2: about it, but because you know, if you were say
Speaker 2: the Sunrise, we're the person at the time you you
Speaker 2: were on for three minutes every half hour, so you
Speaker 2: had to make those three minutes short and sharp, scynct.
Speaker 2: And I was kind of the professional that was like,
Speaker 2: make sure leave no stone unturned and make sure that
Speaker 2: no matter what happens, you've got something, You've got something right.
Speaker 2: So particularly if you're if you're hosting like a Grand
Speaker 2: Final for Australia's got talent or something. It's a big,
Speaker 2: live thing and everything's resting on you. You're driving the ship,
Speaker 2: so you have to know everything about the show in
Speaker 2: case it goes wrong, because you're the one who's got
Speaker 2: to carry it when if it all falls apart. So
Speaker 2: I was always an over preparer who had a lot
Speaker 2: of things in his back pocket, and case this, I
Speaker 2: wanted to do the opposite because I found that actually
Speaker 2: quite an exhausting way to work. And then also, you,
Speaker 2: particularly for the early stages of your career, you end
Speaker 2: up acting like, you know, the saying you'd dress for
Speaker 2: the job you want, not the one you've got. I
Speaker 2: would sort of behave for the job that I wanted,
Speaker 2: not for the one I got. So you're sort of
Speaker 2: pretending like, all right, I was a little bit of
Speaker 2: Daryl Summers. I was a little bit of Larry end
Speaker 2: There was a little bit of Roe McManus. I take
Speaker 2: pizzas of other people and I put them together and go, well,
Speaker 2: I'll be that, but you're really still only the sum
Speaker 2: of other people's parts. But whereas this podcast came along,
Speaker 2: I don't have to talk in three minutes anymore, and
Speaker 2: I don't have the responsibility of saving a show if
Speaker 2: an act falls over, or the light drops from the
Speaker 2: sky or a camera doesn't work, and you still got
Speaker 2: to push through because it's live. It was like, fuck it.
Speaker 2: I don't want to work like that anymore. I can't
Speaker 2: just want to see I just want to riff. I
Speaker 2: want to see where it goes. I want to see
Speaker 2: where my mind goes. Whereas I needed to know the
Speaker 2: next three steps ahead of where I was previously, and
Speaker 2: this is you don't have to do that here, and
Speaker 2: it's so much more enjoyable.
Speaker 1: Doesn't come with the same risk, right CHESI, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Well it depends. It depends what we're talking about.
Speaker 2: One is one is paralyzing perfectionism, and one is just
Speaker 2: doing it for the pure enjoyment of doing it. And
Speaker 2: that's what we're doing with these podcasts.
Speaker 3: The authenticity that you were saying before is what I
Speaker 3: love about your podcast, Craig, and that's that's exactly what
Speaker 3: we we feel with our audience in our podcast as well.
Speaker 3: We just it's real and we over the years, we've
Speaker 3: had so much shit written about us that's so far fetched,
Speaker 3: and you know, the people who know us well, they
Speaker 3: know that, you know how far fetched it is, but
Speaker 3: you know it's it's fun.
Speaker 2: Our used to be our only chance of a right
Speaker 2: of reply because previously, you know, the magazines could write
Speaker 2: whatever they want and you had no say, you know,
Speaker 2: prior to Twitter, prior to social media, prior to podcasts,
Speaker 2: they could just have their absolute way with you, and
Speaker 2: they could determine whether your career failed or succeeded just
Speaker 2: by whatever they made up. But we tried to take
Speaker 2: the power back a little bit, and often our stories
Speaker 2: were actually way juicier than the ones they were making up,
Speaker 2: and that's a true So it ended up being you know, fun.
Speaker 2: And then we've evolved from that from being you know,
Speaker 2: let's tell our true stories to now let's get interesting
Speaker 2: people on and sort of and here we are because
Speaker 2: we've made a fuck ton of mistakes in our life
Speaker 2: and we're at a point where we're okay sharing those now.
Speaker 2: And we used to we were part of the problem.
Speaker 2: You know, we used to be a part of a
Speaker 2: breakfast television show, which is fake, it's made up. I
Speaker 2: think the damage that news does to us as a
Speaker 2: community and to humans is terrible, and I used to
Speaker 2: make those stories. You know, I think it trades in
Speaker 2: fear and and it hits our human impulses, which is,
Speaker 2: you know, back to our cavemen days, we had to
Speaker 2: be so hyper aware of what was going to kill
Speaker 2: us next that we're constant, you know, in a state
Speaker 2: of high alert, you know. And I think news delivers
Speaker 2: that up. Just what do I need to be afraid
Speaker 2: of next? And all they do is they give you
Speaker 2: so much fear so you return tomorrow night to find
Speaker 2: out what you need to be afraid of tomorrow night.
Speaker 2: And I don't I feel bad about that now, and
Speaker 2: I don't want to be that bloke. So I'd rather
Speaker 2: be offering something that might you know, maybe it helps someone,
Speaker 2: Maybe it makes a difference in someone's life, rather than
Speaker 2: just make them afraid of everyone and everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that well. And also I think people
Speaker 1: forget that the news is a product, Like it's a
Speaker 1: product and it needs sponsors, and it's you know, it's
Speaker 1: not objective, it's you know, it's not objective, it's it's
Speaker 1: it's anyway, let's not get into that. But you know,
Speaker 1: I think to your point that the brain is literally
Speaker 1: like the primary function of the brain is to keep
Speaker 1: you safe it's a risk risk detection machine, you know,
Speaker 1: and so you're always trying to navigate life from that
Speaker 1: point of view, you know, especially as parents for yourself,
Speaker 1: but then also for your kids. What how do you
Speaker 1: reckon both you, either of you or both of you?
Speaker 1: And to this like, how are you different now from say,
Speaker 1: five years ago, whether or not that's emotionally, whether or
Speaker 1: not that's your outlook, your operating system, your lifestyle, your
Speaker 1: intentions moving forward. How do you think you've changed?
Speaker 3: Well, me personally, I have in five years. The biggest
Speaker 3: change for me, I think was being diagnosed with ADHD.
Speaker 3: After the pandemic with Lockdown, we discovered that our eldest
Speaker 3: daughter had ADHD, and before we put her on medication,
Speaker 3: I thought, I better, you know, go down this route
Speaker 3: because I think that, you know, I possibly could have it.
Speaker 3: And even before I started medication, which was life changing
Speaker 3: for me, I started researching and listening to podcasts and
Speaker 3: watching webinars and learning all about ADHD and the things
Speaker 3: that I struggle with, you know, and kind of normalizing
Speaker 3: that for myself. It definitely had a huge effect on
Speaker 3: my confidence, which I you know, shared around the house
Speaker 3: and with my kids and you know, and then starting
Speaker 3: the medication. That was a massive change for me.
Speaker 2: It's huge.
Speaker 1: Yeah, tell us shares you pre and posts, so before
Speaker 1: what was happening and as much or as little as
Speaker 1: you want to share, but massive difference, how like what
Speaker 1: what was the post? You know? Medication life like?
Speaker 3: So I have all always been extreme, like extreme chazy,
Speaker 3: so very black and white thinking it's either all or nothing.
Speaker 3: It was always late to things because I had just
Speaker 3: loaded myself up with so much stuff. Chronically, I was
Speaker 3: a chronic worker, just constantly juggling probably ten things, but
Speaker 3: not doing any any one of those things particularly well.
Speaker 3: I was very stretched, really overthinker. Ah yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 3: would say I was an overthinker, but I'm more hyperactive,
Speaker 3: so just constantly moving like I was being driven by
Speaker 3: a motor. Do you say that even if I was tired,
Speaker 3: I was off doing you know, god knows what, always
Speaker 3: leaving covered doors open.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I didn't even know that that was an actual sign
Speaker 3: of ADHD. And so I just leave like kitchen cupboard
Speaker 3: doors open and will notice.
Speaker 2: Yeah first sort of, you know, ten years of our marriage,
Speaker 2: I'd be just get around just closing proper doors all
Speaker 2: the time.
Speaker 3: And I was. I was exceptionally good when when I
Speaker 3: was in full adrenaline mode, So if there was an emergency,
Speaker 3: I was extremely clear. I was great in emergencies. But
Speaker 3: I had real difficulty processing very emotional situations, which I
Speaker 3: always seemed to find myself in. You know, I kind
Speaker 3: of retained a lot of that emotion and just could
Speaker 3: not start jobs, jobs like cleaning out the kid's cupboards
Speaker 3: or unpacking boxes or things like that. I just found
Speaker 3: it was just so difficult to start, so paralyzing. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so that's a snapshot of what it was like beforehand.
Speaker 3: And then I just from remember the first day I
Speaker 3: started the medication, and remember I'd been doing podcasting and
Speaker 3: I'd been kind of really trying to work hard on
Speaker 3: myself before I started it. I also changed my diet,
Speaker 3: took sugar out, increased water, increased a Mega three supplements
Speaker 3: and flaxeed oil. Started the medication, and I remember looking
Speaker 3: around the house and thinking, oh my god, this place
Speaker 3: is a dump. How have we lived like this? It
Speaker 3: was like I can't even explain it. It was like somebody
Speaker 3: cleared the windscreen and I thought, oh, I've just got
Speaker 3: to I've just got to get stuck into this. So
Speaker 3: just started little jobs. You know, the kitchen draw that
Speaker 3: had been messy, and like every time I looked at
Speaker 3: it just felt chronically overstimulated by it. I just got
Speaker 3: in and cleaned it.
Speaker 1: Have you guys heard of that book by Gary Chapman
Speaker 1: called The Five Love Languages? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yes, I think we've got a copy of doing.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not familiar with it.
Speaker 1: Why so I think of you two, and I'm just curious.
Speaker 1: So this guy created this model for kind of explaining.
Speaker 1: It's science, it's around human behavior, it's psychology. It's about
Speaker 1: the way that people give an express love. I'm getting
Speaker 1: deep here, but I'm interested with you too, So I'll
Speaker 1: quickly explain to you and the listeners what it is. Melissa,
Speaker 1: If I fuck this up, can you because I might
Speaker 1: get one of the five wrong. Right. But so, the
Speaker 1: idea behind it is that we all show love and
Speaker 1: express love in a way that's unique to us, in
Speaker 1: that not everyone else does it exactly the same as us,
Speaker 1: so and we receive love differently. So if I want so,
Speaker 1: let's say we'll go through the five different love languages.
Speaker 1: One is physical touch, one is quality time, one is
Speaker 1: words of affirmation, One is gifts and one is acts
Speaker 1: of service. So what this means is physical touch might
Speaker 1: be romantic or sexual between a couple. It could be
Speaker 1: a hug or a cuddle from a friend. Could be
Speaker 1: a hand on the shoulder, could be a rub on
Speaker 1: the back. But it's physical where people find that comforting
Speaker 1: and people feel on some level loved through that quality
Speaker 1: time is obvious. What it is is I feel loved
Speaker 1: when the person that I love sits with me, gives
Speaker 1: me attention, spend time, spends time with me. Words of affirmation, grant,
Speaker 1: you're amazing, mate, I love you. You're so fucking good
Speaker 1: at what you do. I wish I was more like you.
Speaker 1: Blah blah, words of affirmation, gifts CHESI I made this
Speaker 1: for you. I hope you like it, blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: and acts of services. Mate. I'm going to come over
Speaker 1: to your joints, tomro and clean the gutters because there's
Speaker 1: shit hanging out everywhere. And I know you're as bud
Speaker 1: as handy as an ashtray on a motorbike. I'll see
Speaker 1: you at twelve, right, so we all. So, my old
Speaker 1: man's love language is words of affirmation. So if you're
Speaker 1: tell him he's fucking amazing, and he's an artist, the
Speaker 1: best artist in the world. He feels loved, but if
Speaker 1: you give him a hug, or try to give him
Speaker 1: a hug, he fucking runs into the backyard right now. Ironically,
Speaker 1: he never tells me great things like I'll tell him
Speaker 1: he is brilliant. He would never do that to me. Right,
Speaker 1: So my mum, for example, I bought my mum her
Speaker 1: last two cars, and it's not even about the cars.
Speaker 1: It's just that, well one she loves the cars, but
Speaker 1: she loves the fact that her son loves her enough
Speaker 1: to do that for her. Right, So I want to
Speaker 1: go through him again. And obviously acts of services doing
Speaker 1: stuff for people, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, So grant,
Speaker 1: what do you think your love language is?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: How do you like? What do you need from the
Speaker 1: people that are close to you that makes you feel
Speaker 1: most loved? So I'll go through in physical touch, quality time,
Speaker 1: words of affirmation, gifts, and acts of service.
Speaker 2: I think it's quality time or acts of service, right,
Speaker 2: physical touch, I've got an issue with that at the moment,
Speaker 2: which I'm trying to get to the bottom of, which
Speaker 2: I don't really like that.
Speaker 1: That's interesting.
Speaker 2: I can give it. I can hug anyone right, someone
Speaker 2: that I work with, someone that an acquaintance of a friend,
Speaker 2: I can hug. I hug in a professional sense, not
Speaker 2: a drama. I find hugging with my wife very different.
Speaker 3: And it's all true because everybody hug it in and
Speaker 3: he's like, I have to.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, what brought you together was
Speaker 1: physical touch your hand on hand.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I can't figure out what's happened to that
Speaker 2: as to why. I almost have an allergic reaction to it.
Speaker 2: And it's weird.
Speaker 1: And unless I cancel my next re appointments, we can't
Speaker 1: deep with this. Motherfucker fucking hell. Here we go, fucking
Speaker 1: batting down the hatches. Everyone, get yourself a beer, get
Speaker 1: the bean bag out. We're not going anywhere. I have a.
Speaker 2: Theory, and I'm not sure if this is actual right,
Speaker 2: and I'm moving away from this theory, but it's my
Speaker 2: most recent theory. My most recent theory is I won't
Speaker 2: let my wife hug me because if I come dependent
Speaker 2: on that, and if she leaves me, then I have nothing.
Speaker 2: So if I don't allow our connection to get stronger,
Speaker 2: it'll hurt less when she goes Wow.
Speaker 1: So that's that's mentally very insightful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that that plays back to the
Speaker 2: imposter syndrome. I'm not good enough, I'm unlovable. I'm unlovable.
Speaker 2: I think is a core belief that I have, which
Speaker 2: I've been working a hell of a lot on because
Speaker 2: i know that damage is my relationship with my wife
Speaker 2: because it makes you act in certain ways. But I
Speaker 2: think I'm not ensure. I'm not entirely sure this is right,
Speaker 2: and I'm still doing work on it, so it's all new.
Speaker 2: But I think I'm shutting down affection from my wife
Speaker 2: because I'm worried that I'm not good enough to love
Speaker 2: in the long term, so therefore I can't let her
Speaker 2: get closer to me. Wow.
Speaker 1: Man, I appreciate that so fucking honest and real. But
Speaker 1: vulnerability is strength, dude. So you know, even though that
Speaker 1: that's scary for you, we don't have to do anything,
Speaker 1: but I'd suggest you open that door and just be
Speaker 1: scared and let her fucking hug you in the morning.
Speaker 1: Just lean in, broy, what what about you? And tell,
Speaker 1: like one, what's your love language and what do you
Speaker 1: think about what Grant just said?
Speaker 3: I already picked Grant for quality time. Yeah, I definitely
Speaker 3: know that that's his. Yeah, because I've seen him sometimes
Speaker 3: when I'm out spraying weeds or something and he has
Speaker 3: to go away. I'm outside and I'm like, I've got
Speaker 3: a Dade's fans line, and he's like looking out the window, like,
Speaker 3: who like a little puppy.
Speaker 1: My dad's going off to war and he's fucking waving
Speaker 1: at the window.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so I know, and and I do try
Speaker 3: to take that into account. My love language, I feel
Speaker 3: like mine is it's sometimes a bit more fluid, like
Speaker 3: sometimes it's words, you know, but then maybe acts of service,
Speaker 3: you know, to back that up, because I do know
Speaker 3: people who just give, you know, spew rhetoric and there's
Speaker 3: nothing kind of behind it. Yeah, So I feel like
Speaker 3: mine's kind of flexible. But I don't remember reading that
Speaker 3: in that book.
Speaker 2: I gave two. You shifted between two. That's I think
Speaker 2: that's fine.
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, wow, Now I.
Speaker 1: Know you guys have got to go soon. I'm disappointed
Speaker 1: because I can talk to you for hours.
Speaker 2: Do you have diagnosed yet? You need to finish? Yeah, regardles.
Speaker 1: Yeah, now I'm we need to come back. We need
Speaker 1: about seventy four podcasters or you two fuck us out
Speaker 1: because there are so many I'm going to call this
Speaker 1: episode all the issues, So right, mad, I'm the captain
Speaker 1: of the issues. Do you two have a this is
Speaker 1: a fancy term that needs nothing. Do you have a
Speaker 1: parenting style or is it free range? Like do you strategize,
Speaker 1: do you talk about things or do you just do
Speaker 1: your own thing and it works out.
Speaker 2: I think if we thought about it, we probably do
Speaker 2: have a strategy, but it's not like a deliberate or
Speaker 2: we've sat down and dot pointed it on an a
Speaker 2: four piece of paper.
Speaker 3: That's pretty much. I am the boss. I'm the disciplinarian,
Speaker 3: and Grant is the fun parent.
Speaker 1: You have four kids chas, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Definitely, no, we're here the Yeah. I probably am the
Speaker 3: mean one, but that's more because Grant traveled a lot
Speaker 3: with the first two, and so I had to be
Speaker 3: kind of mum and dad you know when he was away,
Speaker 3: and so when he would come home he would get to,
Speaker 3: you know, play with them. But we both have a
Speaker 3: very strong moral compass. We we're flexible. We let our kids,
Speaker 3: you know, get away with some things, but you know,
Speaker 3: we're firm on other things. We just want them to
Speaker 3: be nice people to hang around when they grow up.
Speaker 2: I think self talk is something that we work on
Speaker 2: with them because I know that it's something I'm very
Speaker 2: guilty of. I have horrific self talk. So trying to
Speaker 2: ensure that they establish better relationships with themselves by how
Speaker 2: they refer to themselves in their mind is something we
Speaker 2: kind of work on a fair bit with them.
Speaker 3: And I think we've also learned to be quite open
Speaker 3: with them. You know, we're not exposing them to things
Speaker 3: that are well beyond the years, but being honest. That's
Speaker 3: something that you know, we definitely go into their rooms
Speaker 3: and say, hey, you know what, I was a real dick. Well,
Speaker 3: I might not say I was a real dick, but
Speaker 3: I was. You know, I was wrong. I yelled and
Speaker 3: it's just because I'm tired and I'm maxed out and
Speaker 3: i'm you know, x y Z and it wasn't your
Speaker 3: fault and I'm really sorry, I really love you.
Speaker 2: And that sort of lets him know that it's okay
Speaker 2: to make mistakes and mistakes are recoverable. I think knowing
Speaker 2: that mistakes are recoverable means that you won't do anything
Speaker 2: to avoid a mistake and mistakes are inevitable, as we know,
Speaker 2: but the best stuff that ever happens to you is
Speaker 2: often mistake, because it'll end up re routing you back
Speaker 2: down the path you're supposed to go. Mistakes are wonderful,
Speaker 2: like a roadblock that you reach and go, oh, thank god,
Speaker 2: now I realize I don't need to get on this path.
Speaker 2: I'll go down this one instead. So treating mistakes as
Speaker 2: gifts is what we're try instill.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it. I love it. We've done over
Speaker 1: eleven hundred of these eleven hundred episodes, and you too,
Speaker 1: are going straight into my top twenty. I loved it.
Speaker 1: I loved it. I loved it. You're both fucking great,
Speaker 1: and I you know this. I think this is an
Speaker 1: insult and a compliment. I didn't. I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: overthink it, but you guys are so so good to
Speaker 1: talk to, like really genuinely, and I loved it, and
Speaker 1: I love you both. You're both fucking awesome, and you're
Speaker 1: brutally authentic and real and lovable and grant. When I
Speaker 1: see I'm going to spoon you on the couch. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to let you go because I'm definitely fucking
Speaker 1: bigger and stronger than you, so watch out, your son.
Speaker 2: Of a bitch.
Speaker 1: You will too, Grand j Daniel. They have a podcast
Speaker 1: podcast called It's All True, which I don't believe. I
Speaker 1: think some of it's bullshit, but that's the name. Anyway,
Speaker 1: we'll stay there. We'll say goodbye, Affair, but thanks for
Speaker 1: coming to play on the You project.
Speaker 2: Thanks for having you my pleasure, Thanks for having me mate,
Speaker 2: Thanks for everyone listening. So hopefully we didn't lose you
Speaker 2: in the first couple minutes talking about Chezy shitting in
Speaker 2: the toilets. That's right, that his feet, that's.
Speaker 1: Right, Ulessa. You said that'd be shipped. I told you
Speaker 1: that'd be all right. But that was brilliant. Don't know me.
Speaker 1: See everyone