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Speaker 1: I'll get at it's Harps and Melissa, it's the Bloody Daniel's,

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Speaker 1: it's all of us. It's the U Project. It's a Tuesday.

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Speaker 1: I'm sitting in bare feet pair of jocks. I could

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Speaker 1: be wearing shorts. I might not. Melissa high Hello, I'm

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Speaker 1: so good. I'm so good. I'm on my third cup

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Speaker 1: of tea for the morning because I'm a fucking crazy

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Speaker 1: man and life is good. It's going to be twenty

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Speaker 1: nine degrees today. I'm going to get one of the

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Speaker 1: motorbikes out of the garage, punts around Beach Road like

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Speaker 1: a big dickhead, and interview a few people and do

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Speaker 1: a bit of work. That is my day, So I

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Speaker 1: think very exciting.

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Speaker 2: But I am happy given what you just said, I

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Speaker 2: am happy that it's kind of from the chest up

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Speaker 2: that we've got happening on sale today.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you who's disappointed, Chezy Dana. I don't think

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Speaker 1: you could say that. I'm pretty sure she's curious at

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Speaker 1: the very least good a family. How are you?

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Speaker 3: Hello, I am curious. Do you have nice toenails?

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Speaker 2: Is that a benchmark or something for you?

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Speaker 1: Is it?

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Speaker 2: I didn't even know this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just really I'm really off yellow Tina lately.

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Speaker 1: All right, do you want to have a look. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to be bragging at bragster, but I have

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Speaker 1: world class feet. Right, this is terrible on a podcast.

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Speaker 1: Hey on, cheersy, I don't know, I'm not that hang on, hell,

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Speaker 1: I just nearly dislocated me. Hip, I'll send you a shot.

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Speaker 1: I'll send you a shot. Enough about my toes? How

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Speaker 1: are you both well?

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty horny now those beautiful trotters.

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Speaker 1: In the queue. Hey, I could have Melissa. What's that

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Speaker 1: called with the special OnlyFans? Only fans?

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Speaker 2: Why did Melissa know that?

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Speaker 1: Ye? Are you talking about it the other day? That's bullshit.

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Speaker 1: She's got her own No, she's the most camera shy

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Speaker 1: person in the world. I put up a photo of

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Speaker 1: her yesterday in our Facebook kind of thing, and that

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Speaker 1: would be about the second photo in about five years,

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Speaker 1: and she wasn't happy with me. But anyway, nonetheless, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Not happy with you because when you when you put

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Speaker 2: your foot up in the air like that, one of

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Speaker 2: your balls for that of your shorts, I know.

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Speaker 1: But two were all right? Geez cheys, he can you

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Speaker 1: rain him in? Please?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I'm pinching him under the chair.

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Speaker 1: Is that you know? Like, am I mistaken thinking that

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Speaker 1: you guys started out working together and that you were

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Speaker 1: producing slash wrangling him in a TV capacity and that

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Speaker 1: maybe that hasn't stopped.

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Speaker 3: Yes, you are absolutely correct.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we hated each other. We worked together. She was

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Speaker 2: a strong minded, determined person and I was an arrogant

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Speaker 2: little go getter, and we clashed a lot because her

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Speaker 2: ideas were supposedly, in her eyes, amazing, but mine were better.

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Speaker 2: And then one day we brushed hands and then we

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Speaker 2: weirdly fell in love, and I had this crazy tingling

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Speaker 2: feeling that hit me from head to toe and I

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Speaker 2: was like, I can't live without this woman.

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Speaker 1: Is that a metaphor we brushed hand or you literally

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Speaker 1: physically brushed hands?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I remember I brushed hands as I was turning

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Speaker 2: around and just sort of brushed hands with her and

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Speaker 2: I was like, WHOA, what was that? Yeah, but she

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Speaker 2: still hasn't stopped looking after me. That you are correct.

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Speaker 2: I came in this podcast and I had one condition

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Speaker 2: that I have nothing to do with the organization of it.

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Speaker 1: M Yeah, well that's pretty much my arrangement as well.

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Speaker 1: I get a list each day of all the things

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Speaker 1: that I need to do, and that covers everything from

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Speaker 1: breakfast to podcasting, showering, and I'm allowed to have two

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Speaker 1: shits a day and Welsa, thanks for scheduling that in.

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Speaker 2: Anytime, because we're still in the phase of having a

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Speaker 2: two year old, so we can't go to the bathroom

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Speaker 2: without like these sort of like alien apocalyptic fingers underneath

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Speaker 2: the door, you know, sort of reaching through like it's

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Speaker 2: an alien attack.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, or asking to look in the bowl, trying to.

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Speaker 1: Go mmmmmm yeah. Well, I mean, it's all about the learning.

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Speaker 1: It's their sponges at that stage. And here's Mum's poof

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Speaker 1: for anyone who's interested in You're welcome. He's corn Corn Sorn.

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Speaker 1: And now all of our five remaining listeners have jumped

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Speaker 1: out cheersy. What was your first impression of the the

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Speaker 1: insecure bloke lacking self esteem and confidence was? What was

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Speaker 1: your impression of him?

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Speaker 3: He was very distracted, He was very focused on motorsport,

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Speaker 3: and what I didn't realize was that he was quite shy.

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Speaker 3: He really wanted to do motorsport, he enjoyed doing TV,

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Speaker 3: but I didn't really care that much about his motorsport

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Speaker 3: career because I was there to produce a television segment

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Speaker 3: and an important one, so trying to get him to

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Speaker 3: focus on what we were doing, I found that extremely frustrating.

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Speaker 1: It's one of the hard things about producing talent that

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Speaker 1: they're creative and they've got lots of potential and charisma

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Speaker 1: and all of that stuff. Some of them, not all

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Speaker 1: of them, let's be honest, but it's like trying to

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Speaker 1: wrangle a bunch of fucking cats. It's like a dog

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Speaker 1: with three dicks, like he's all over the joint.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yes, I've produced a lot of people in my lifetime,

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Speaker 3: and most of them are like that. But I think

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Speaker 3: Grant was different because he was essentially extremely nice and

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Speaker 3: very humble, much more humble than people realized, and he

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Speaker 3: was just so naturally talented, and yet never really backed

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Speaker 3: himself or felt that he was that talented. He was

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Speaker 3: just kind of more focused on the motorsport. I think

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Speaker 3: for a reason there something.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that is a fair assumption, because motorsport was my

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Speaker 2: first love since I was a kid, and you got

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Speaker 2: to remember, I only got into television because we weren't

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Speaker 2: from a wealthy family to get started in motorsport. You know,

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Speaker 2: it's an expensive sport from go karting to whatever level

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Speaker 2: until the sponsors start flowing. So like I got into

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Speaker 2: motorsport purely to just find sponsors to continue in further

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Speaker 2: my motorsport career. So it held my heart and TV

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Speaker 2: I never felt like I fit in, you know, I wasn't.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't as serious as the rest of them. They

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Speaker 2: were all quite you know, particularly in those early days.

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Speaker 2: They were a little bit more pompous really than I

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Speaker 2: felt comfortable being. And for all those listening that I've

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Speaker 2: walked alongside.

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Speaker 1: Shout out to the wankers and their names are alphabetically

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Speaker 1: Larry am Darne. Shout out to Laze. We love Larry.

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Speaker 1: Just fucking with you, Larry.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh good, No, give it back twice as hard.

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Speaker 1: No worry about that.

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Speaker 2: So I kind of felt like I was a pretender

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Speaker 2: in that scene and not the real deal. I didn't. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: So motorsport was was my crowd, that was my community,

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Speaker 2: and I never felt like I had one until I

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Speaker 2: got into motorsport and I found I found my people

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Speaker 2: and I found my confidence. So TV I could kind

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Speaker 2: of take or leave, which actually ended up working for

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Speaker 2: me because you'd be a little bit naughtier, or you

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Speaker 2: take some risks, or you do things a little bit differently,

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Speaker 2: you talk a little bit differently. And that worked for me,

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Speaker 2: and that's because I actually just didn't give as much

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Speaker 2: of a shit about it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I reckon the more desperate you are to do

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Speaker 1: something sometimes the worse, because the more desperate you are,

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Speaker 1: the less you are yourself, and the less we see

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Speaker 1: the authentic.

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Speaker 2: Queue, particularly in television in those days, you know, like

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Speaker 2: it's it's still pretty formal, but you no one would

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Speaker 2: to be successful in television, you need as many people

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Speaker 2: to not hate you as possible, right, So you need

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Speaker 2: to round off a lot of rough edges so for

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Speaker 2: your show to have the most amount of viewers, which

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Speaker 2: is our only gauge of success really in this game,

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Speaker 2: people have to kind of at least not hate you.

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Speaker 2: So therefore you end up sort of putting yourself into

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Speaker 2: a gray zone where you don't necessarily go out on

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Speaker 2: a limb and you take no chances, so you end

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Speaker 2: up just being this vanilla product. So I didn't value

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Speaker 2: it as much because I could take her to leave

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Speaker 2: it because I had something else going on, which was

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Speaker 2: the most, so I was like, fuck it, I'll just

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Speaker 2: say it, or I'll just do it, or I'll just

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Speaker 2: go nude, or I'll jump out of a helicopter a

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Speaker 2: bungee jumping or you know what I mean. Like if

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Speaker 2: my barometer was when I was on Sunrise as the

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Speaker 2: weather man, if I could make Koshi or Mel, who

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Speaker 2: was the host at that time, uncomfortable, I would gain

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Speaker 2: an extra ten thousand fans. So that was my yardstick

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Speaker 2: every day, which I pushed.

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Speaker 1: I think people would pigeonhole you as I'm doing a

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Speaker 1: very long range assessment, but an extrovert, But I don't

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Speaker 1: actually think you are. I don't think you're a pure extrovert.

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Speaker 1: I think you'd probably be closer to the introvert end

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Speaker 1: of the scale. But you're very fucking socially adaptable and aware,

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Speaker 1: am I right?

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Speaker 3: Chez He he is not an extrovert at all. He

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Speaker 3: is very socially aware. But he's also a huge impath

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Speaker 3: and it's taken us a long time to recognize those.

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Speaker 3: I guess, you know, parts of Grant because when he

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Speaker 3: would go out in big group settings or you know,

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Speaker 3: and people would expect this real high energy kind of

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Speaker 3: full of himself, you know, full of confidence personality. That

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Speaker 3: was a performance which took an extremely huge amount of

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Speaker 3: energy and we didn't recognize that for a long time.

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Speaker 3: But he's definitely not an extrovert, are you No?

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Speaker 1: No, yeah, well I think that like I have, like you,

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Speaker 1: whatever you do, right, if you're sting a TV show,

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Speaker 1: you need to bring a certain energy and so there's

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Speaker 1: a persona. But that's not being a fraud. That's like

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Speaker 1: you're doing a job. You have to bring that energy

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Speaker 1: and bring that personality, and you need to bring it

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Speaker 1: all together and you need to make the show work.

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Speaker 1: But that guy is not the same guy that's sitting

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Speaker 1: at home with the kids, right.

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Speaker 2: No, definitely not. I see some people think and believe,

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Speaker 2: and I've been around a lot of these, particularly in

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Speaker 2: the early days of my career coming up. Some people

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Speaker 2: believe it's enough to just be on camera. I'm on camera,

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Speaker 2: therefore I'm a big deal. Therefore I'm better than you.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot of that. I look at it as

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Speaker 2: this is a very fortunate opportunity for me to have

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Speaker 2: a career and pay off my mortgage. People need to

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Speaker 2: watch this show, so therefore I need to be so

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Speaker 2: thankful that they're watching that I need to give them

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Speaker 2: my absolute best right. People's lives are hard. Paying the

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Speaker 2: bills is hard. Kids are hard. When if they sit

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Speaker 2: down to watch, say your game show at six o'clock,

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Speaker 2: to say family Feud, I feel like I owe them

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Speaker 2: something special. I owe them a show. I want to

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Speaker 2: take their mind off their troubles. I want to make

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Speaker 2: them laugh if their day's being shit. So I feel

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Speaker 2: that's my duty. You can't take that for granted. So

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Speaker 2: that is the utmost of the highest of importance for me,

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Speaker 2: is I need to deliver for that one audience member

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Speaker 2: who's tuned in to watch, because that's a fortunate privilege.

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Speaker 2: But some people aren't always like that. So but to

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Speaker 2: turn it up to eleven like that does require a lot.

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Speaker 2: So you know, Therefore, it's took me a long time,

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Speaker 2: and it took me a lot of personal crashes, to

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Speaker 2: be honest, I run into a brick wall a lot.

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Speaker 3: Even when he was first doing Family Feud, he was

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Speaker 3: really upbeaten, you know, high energy, and people would always

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Speaker 3: comment on, God, how is he at home? Is this

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Speaker 3: energizer bunny? And he'd come home and almost sleep for

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Speaker 3: two days. It just took him that long to recover

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Speaker 3: from being so on.

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Speaker 1: I think also when you are very empathetic, which like

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I feel like in the first five

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Speaker 1: ten minutes just getting to know you a little bit,

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Speaker 1: it's like I think that that doing as well you

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Speaker 1: basically just said that cheers you, but doing that high

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Speaker 1: energy stuff where you've got to go and you know,

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Speaker 1: some days I do full day workshops with a company

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Speaker 1: where I speak for eight hours, you know, and then

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Speaker 1: coming home from that, I'm nearly in a coma because

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Speaker 1: for eight hours you need to be fucking amazing because

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Speaker 1: they're paying, you know, you to bring an energy, to

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Speaker 1: create an experience, to coach, to share, to do what

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Speaker 1: you do, and to create an experience that hopefully will

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Speaker 1: be a catalyst for good stuff.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But at the same time, you know, I'm very empathetic

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Speaker 1: as well in that I feel what people feel. And

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Speaker 1: if there's one person in the room who hates me,

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Speaker 1: but nine hundred and ninety nine who loved me, the

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Speaker 1: one affects me more than the nine to ninety nine

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Speaker 1: because I'm a big fucking baby, right, And people don't

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Speaker 1: realize that when you are confident on a mic or

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Speaker 1: in front of a camera. People think that what they

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Speaker 1: see on the telly is the totality of the person.

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Speaker 1: But it's not the case.

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Speaker 2: No, definitely not. And to prove your point and to

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Speaker 2: agree with you that you're right, I can't MC events

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Speaker 2: for that exact reason. So I can talk to two

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Speaker 2: million and a barrel of a camera, but I can't

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Speaker 2: talk to a room of twenty. It is paralyzingly crippling.

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Speaker 2: And I'll spend a week leading up to it, like

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Speaker 2: in agony in my stomach, in nerves and anxiety, and

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Speaker 2: I can't do them for that one reason. What if

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Speaker 2: this is a room that just doesn't give a shit,

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Speaker 2: and that maybe they're all chatting and they're clinking glasses

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Speaker 2: and they're having a great time, but no one's listening.

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Speaker 2: And I feel like I'm not doing a very good

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Speaker 2: job for the person who's paying me to be there,

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Speaker 2: and I can't handle that. My skin's not thick enough

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Speaker 2: to be able to just turn up and take the

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Speaker 2: cash because I was taught the belief as a kid.

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Speaker 2: Like I didn't go through university or anything like that.

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Speaker 2: I worked in school holidays for free, so I would

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Speaker 2: work in a country TV newsroom, washing the news cars, bloody,

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Speaker 2: carrying the tripods. And I needed to find a way

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Speaker 2: because I was never going to be smart enough to

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Speaker 2: get an academic score to be able to go to

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Speaker 2: UNI for journalism, so I had to find a backdoor.

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Speaker 2: So I appreciate every rung of the ladder because it

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Speaker 2: was unlikely that I would ever get there right, because

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Speaker 2: it was against the odds. Everyone else was smart, was

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Speaker 2: more worldly, was political. I had none of that. I

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Speaker 2: was just a goofball. So when I now get to

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Speaker 2: these roles, I feel like, because I was told the place,

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Speaker 2: the way to get somewhere is to be a good

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Speaker 2: person to be around, be the employee that they want

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Speaker 2: you to be, and if you can't be good, be cheap. Right,

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Speaker 2: So those three lessons I get to the top. So

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Speaker 2: therefore I feel like I wanted to del for the company.

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Speaker 2: If say six o'clock Family Feud, if those ratings are high,

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Speaker 2: then the show afterwards is high and the advertising is high.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, you know, I've got a bit of

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Speaker 2: the company on my shoulders, and I'm responsible to deliver,

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Speaker 2: So I kind of like you. I feel like I

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Speaker 2: have to and they deserve me. My one hundred percent.

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Speaker 1: But you know what I think is great about you

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Speaker 1: saying what you're saying is it makes you relatable and

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Speaker 1: real and authentic, and it's like, oh, Grant's insecure. Fuck

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Speaker 1: good me too, Like I'm insecure when people because I'm

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Speaker 1: confident and I can talk, people are blown away that

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Speaker 1: I still have impluster syndrome, that I still feel not

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Speaker 1: good enough, that I still all of those normal human things.

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Speaker 1: And you can simultaneously be on Telly and nationally known

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Speaker 1: and have a brand and have a profile and have

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Speaker 1: people think highly of you while also feeling completely overwhelmed

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Speaker 1: and anxious and unhappy and not sleeping and feeling like

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Speaker 1: you're not good enough. Like those things not only can

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Speaker 1: they coexist, they often coexist. No.

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Speaker 2: I don't know why that is the case, but I

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Speaker 2: think is it the insecurity and the lack of self

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Speaker 2: belief that just made me try that extra ten percent

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Speaker 2: harder than everyone else than the person next to me.

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Speaker 2: Possibly the fact that I didn't think that I was

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Speaker 2: enough meant I had to try harder to try and

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Speaker 2: make up for that, And therefore you can you kind

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Speaker 2: of just you're just going a little bit harder than

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Speaker 2: everyone else at the same level as you, So you

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Speaker 2: stand out from the pack a little bit. Possibly those

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Speaker 2: painful things that you're talking about. Are you part of

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Speaker 2: the success.

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Speaker 1: As to why I reckon, there's two bits. So the

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Speaker 1: first bit is I think that in our culture very much,

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Speaker 1: we get our sense of self and identity and self

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Speaker 1: worth from what we do. Right, So if you're awesome

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Speaker 1: at something, oh, that's Grant the TV host, Chezi the

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Speaker 1: produce said that whatever. Right, So that what you do

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Speaker 1: becomes who you are and that can be taken away

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Speaker 1: from you. That's my first thing. And when you and

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying you did, but I know for a

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Speaker 1: long time, for example, so I set up the first

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Speaker 1: personal training centers in Australia, I wrote the first course.

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Speaker 1: I was arguably maybe the first PT in Australia in

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Speaker 1: nineteen eighty six, right, And for a whole long time,

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Speaker 1: my sense of who I am came from my business

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Speaker 1: and my brand and my body and my biceps and

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Speaker 1: all this bullshit. But in the middle of that, I

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Speaker 1: was fucking horribly insecure and riddled with self doubt and

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Speaker 1: imposter syndrome. And it just took a long time to

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Speaker 1: differentiate between what I did and what people thought of

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Speaker 1: me and who I actually was in the middle of

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Speaker 1: all of that. And when you do a deep dive

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Speaker 1: on who am I beyond what people think of me?

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Speaker 1: For me, that's the beginning of opening the door to

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Speaker 1: self awareness.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would agree, and I've done a heck of

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Speaker 2: a lot of work on that because I hid behind

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Speaker 2: my identity for who I was, because I didn't believe

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Speaker 2: there was any substance in here that worth two minutes,

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Speaker 2: you know. So I surrounded myself in those vight Supercar

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Speaker 2: race suit and trophies, and I surrounded myself in that

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Speaker 2: family feud suit because I didn't think the sum of

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Speaker 2: any of my parts were worth it. So, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: needed those And I think that comes from, you know,

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Speaker 2: a single mom. So I lived with my mom. We

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Speaker 2: had a very very very modest means. I was living

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Speaker 2: in an area where I looked around and no one

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Speaker 2: had a life that I aspired to. No one was

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Speaker 2: living a life while I was like, God, that's cool,

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Speaker 2: look at that guy. Why wasn't that unreal? There wasn't

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Speaker 2: a lot of aspiration around, And so I made a

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Speaker 2: commitment to myself that I was like, I need to

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Speaker 2: pull something out. I need to pull a rabbit out

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Speaker 2: of a hat to get myself out of here and

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Speaker 2: make a go of it. So every step was a

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Speaker 2: precious step. But it was a conscious decision at about

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Speaker 2: fourteen years of age to go, fuck this, there's got

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Speaker 2: to be something better than this. I'm going to go

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Speaker 2: for broke to try and reach it. Yeah, but it

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Speaker 2: comes at a cost. It comes a cost of friendships,

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Speaker 2: comes at a cost of family relationships. Yeah, you burn

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Speaker 2: a lot in a way to make it, go for it.

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Speaker 1: Without piercing in your pocket. What you have maybe deep

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Speaker 1: down you know this. I'm sure shares you know that

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Speaker 1: he has it. But what you do have, like you

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Speaker 1: spoke about not being smart enough for UNI or this

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Speaker 1: or that, I doubt. Firstly, there's fucking I'm in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the academic system at the moment. Trust me, mate,

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of people that are way fucking less

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Speaker 1: intelligent than you, way less that they're doing good things academically.

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Speaker 1: You could if you wanted to, but you don't need to.

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Speaker 1: But what you do have in spades is emotional into us,

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Speaker 1: emotional intelligence but also social intelligence. Like hardly anybody could

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Speaker 1: stand in front of a TV or a bunch of

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Speaker 1: TV cameras doing, for example, family feud, all the stuff

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Speaker 1: that you did, like people don't. I did a tiny

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Speaker 1: bit of Telly on Channel ten with David and Kim

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Speaker 1: on the Morning Show. I used to go in each

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Speaker 1: week for a few years and just sit on the

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Speaker 1: couch and talk a bit of shit. But what you

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Speaker 1: did and continue to do periodically is such an ability

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Speaker 1: that very few wouldn't matter how much training, how much reading,

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Speaker 1: how much prep, how much encouragement and coercion, ninety nine

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Speaker 1: point nine per cent of the population got me included.

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Speaker 1: We couldn't do what you can do, Like, that's an

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Speaker 1: innate talent, and yes you've developed skill and knowledge and confidence,

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Speaker 1: but that's an extreme form of intelligence. Social intelligence, emotional

389
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Speaker 1: intelligence arguably the most important kind of intelligence you can have.

390
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Speaker 1: It's just not rated in the academic kind of world

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Speaker 1: as much as it should be. Anyway, steps down off soapbox.

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Speaker 2: Well, I remember, I remember my family. I'd hear him

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Speaker 2: on the phone, you know, when I'm in high school

394
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Speaker 2: going what the fuck are we going to do with

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Speaker 2: this kid?

396
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Speaker 1: Like Jesus, what about Dumbo?

397
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Speaker 2: What the fuck?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

399
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Speaker 2: Well, like I was like, like I said, I was,

400
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Speaker 2: I was working in school holidays, but they're like, we

401
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Speaker 2: ain't going to get this kid into any anywhere, Like

402
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Speaker 2: is he going to be is he going to be

403
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Speaker 2: the bin collector? Like what kind of what are we

404
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Speaker 2: going to do with him? And I could sense that,

405
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Speaker 2: I could feel that hopelessness that they were, like, this

406
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Speaker 2: kid doesn't fit in a system. He's not he's not

407
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Speaker 2: he's not working in the system. He's not he's not

408
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Speaker 2: going to make it in the system. And I just

409
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Speaker 2: remember the remember I won't say it was disappointment, but

410
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Speaker 2: fear that they had, like shit, we're concerned for this

411
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Speaker 2: guy because what's he going to do? What's he going

412
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Speaker 2: to contribute to society? And I think I heard that

413
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Speaker 2: and it hurts so much that I was like, I'm

414
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Speaker 2: going to have to manufacture something here, and that I

415
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Speaker 2: think when you're working in the early days, I think

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Speaker 2: you never The one thing I never did is always well,

417
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Speaker 2: I made sure I always ask questions. I always asked

418
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Speaker 2: for chances. Can I help you, can I can I

419
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Speaker 2: do this? Can I work on weekends? Can I come

420
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Speaker 2: in after an hours? Do this? And those little bits.

421
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Speaker 2: It's amazing what opportunities come if you just go that

422
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Speaker 2: extra extra bit, and they were the breaks. You know,

423
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Speaker 2: I wasn't the smartest in the room, you know, when

424
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Speaker 2: I was a cameraman, I wasn't the greatest shooter. When

425
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Speaker 2: I was an editor, I certainly wasn't the fastest editor.

426
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Speaker 2: When I was a journal you know, I could out

427
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Speaker 2: one story today everyone else could knock out three. So

428
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Speaker 2: I was underperforming in every single area. Yet that willingness

429
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Speaker 2: to offer myself and just work that little bit harder

430
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Speaker 2: or do someone a favor was the only thing that

431
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Speaker 2: pulled me up the ladder. And because people you'd be

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Speaker 2: surprised at how far someone will go to help you

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Speaker 2: if you offer yourself. And that was the only ace

434
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 2: that I had at my sleeve, the only ace, and

435
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 2: no one else was doing it. Everyone would turn up

436
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 2: and think that they were bigger than the role, or

437
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,399
Speaker 2: this is below me, or stuff this. I'm going home

438
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:45,159
Speaker 2: five minutes beforeward, dud to knock off, and I was

439
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,359
Speaker 2: the one that was there two hours later. And that

440
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 2: was the only ace I had.

441
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 1: Do you think people in the space that you played

442
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 1: in for a long time and continue to have a

443
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 1: sense of entitlement and because of that, maybe the work

444
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:04,280
Speaker 1: ethic and the the prepper or the ability to get

445
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 1: uncomfortable or the willingness to get uncomfortable again and again

446
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: is not there. Yeah, yep, because it's in the shit

447
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:17,640
Speaker 1: that you grow. Right, Like my background literally working with athletes,

448
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:21,119
Speaker 1: and you are slash. We're an athlete of sorts, believe

449
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 1: it or not. Everyone motor car drivers are athletes. Don't

450
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 1: worry about that. And like how you build strength in

451
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 1: the gym literally is working against resistance. Is doing hard stuff.

452
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 1: You go to the gym or whatever your training environment,

453
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 1: you do hardship. The byproduct is physiological physiological adaptation. You

454
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 1: get stronger, you build resilience, you build endurance, you build

455
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,680
Speaker 1: awareness and understanding, and then you come out the other

456
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 1: side better. And so too emotionally and psychologically. You can't

457
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:54,399
Speaker 1: build strength in that space without doing hardship and without

458
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,679
Speaker 1: putting up your hand for what most people want.

459
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 2: And working for free, working for free, but also putting

460
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:04,440
Speaker 2: in the effort to figure out what everyone else's roles

461
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 2: are around you that all work together in unison to

462
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 2: make you look good. Like I said before, people would

463
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,639
Speaker 2: go they do their piece to camera. Maybe they might

464
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 2: be a news journo, and that was the biggest thing

465
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 2: of the day, not how great an interview they did,

466
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 2: not whether they did a good story, but it was

467
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 2: just get about getting their head on camera. That's what

468
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,800
Speaker 2: they all looked forward to, because that made them famous. However,

469
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,959
Speaker 2: I was more interested in, Okay, how can I make

470
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,479
Speaker 2: the cameraman's job a little bit easier so we can

471
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,160
Speaker 2: get better stuff? How do I make sure the editor

472
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 2: has what is needs so our story is just that

473
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 2: little bit more engaging than the other journos. So you

474
00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:39,359
Speaker 2: teach yourself to edit, teach yourself to shoot, so you

475
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 2: have a broader understanding of all the pieces that conspire

476
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 2: to make you who you are. So therefore you have

477
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,200
Speaker 2: a greater respect for the lighting crew, for the guy

478
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 2: who pulls the cables, for the catering mob that keeps

479
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 2: everyone fed to keep their motivation up and energy. You

480
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:59,119
Speaker 2: know you, it's I think a complete picture of those

481
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 2: around Youunderstanding that you only are the sum of many parts,

482
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 2: and you are a cog in the machine, I think

483
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 2: is an important thing to learn and understand, because that's

484
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 2: when you your rising tide lifts every boat.

485
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 1: Then yeah, chezy, So you guys have a podcast on

486
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,280
Speaker 1: the same platform as us over shout out and over

487
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:25,080
Speaker 1: and over called it's all true? How wide? So I mean,

488
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:27,359
Speaker 1: you know this is a public thing right now. We

489
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 1: have thousands and thousands of listeners today and shout out

490
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:33,679
Speaker 1: to our listeners, thanks your ace. How wide do you

491
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 1: open the door on your real life, on your real thoughts, feelings, emotions, struggles?

492
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,679
Speaker 1: Do you open it all the way? Is it like

493
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 1: ninety percent? How do you decide where to go and

494
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 1: where not to go when you are talking to the

495
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:50,120
Speaker 1: public about personal stuff.

496
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:56,159
Speaker 3: That's a really good question. When we first started the podcast,

497
00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 3: I was quite pregnant and on a lot of medication

498
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 3: to stop me from being sick because I had hyperemesis.

499
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 3: So I was just very unwell.

500
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 1: So I would like a really bad time to start

501
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 1: a podcast, A very.

502
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 3: Terrible time to start a podcast. I couldn't even drive

503
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 3: properly at the time. A number of.

504
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 2: She got six fines, six lines in a period of

505
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 2: four weeks. So wow, that's right, Thank you?

506
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 1: Do you want wine down the window? Window and guts?

507
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 1: Did you do that?

508
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 3: I was oblivious to the world.

509
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:36,640
Speaker 2: Our little baby though. When she did get pulled over

510
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 2: and the police officer was standing at the door. It goes,

511
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:40,679
Speaker 2: please don't take my mom to jail.

512
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 1: We need her.

513
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 3: That's true. So at that point, I don't know, I

514
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,639
Speaker 3: was just I was very loose on you know, the

515
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:56,360
Speaker 3: on the stories, and just Grant would come in unprepared

516
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:57,679
Speaker 3: because that was kind.

517
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 1: Of well, sit down.

518
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 3: Really, that's what we wanted for the podcast because I

519
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 3: think he's always been so prepared for everything that he does.

520
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 3: You know, he tells family feud, he does TV, like

521
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,480
Speaker 3: he gets into the zone and he's fully prepared and

522
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,880
Speaker 3: he's you know, he knows what he's doing. Whereas what

523
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:24,119
Speaker 3: I really love about him and what I love in

524
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 3: the podcast is him He's just a really great person

525
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,719
Speaker 3: and a really great talker, and I really wanted to

526
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:36,439
Speaker 3: kind of capture that, so, you know, having him just

527
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:40,959
Speaker 3: be his personal self and me being extremely loose, just

528
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 3: you know, starting conversations that we probably should have started

529
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 3: off air before we started on, and then Grant just

530
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 3: patting them out. Nothing is really off limits. We have

531
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 3: spoken about, you know, things that I wouldn't even tell

532
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 3: my parents on the podcast.

533
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 2: And most of the things, Yeah.

534
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 1: And it's like like give us a one for example, I.

535
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 3: Always go back to this one story which I really

536
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 3: wish that we didn't share, The.

537
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 2: Time you shut yourself in the gold class cinema. No,

538
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 2: that time, that one, that.

539
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 1: Story, best story ever home, A lesson my days just

540
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 1: got great. I can't believe Grant has just thrown his

541
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 1: missus under the bus project.

542
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 2: That's not thought you were going.

543
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 1: But now I'm not that one you dighead the other one.

544
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 3: People do come up and say to us often, you

545
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 3: know that they remember that story. You know. I was

546
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 3: just talking about how before we were getting married, I

547
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 3: was on the road and somebody said, if you tried

548
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 3: this Brazilian seed in water. You cut this Brazilian seed

549
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 3: into eight parts and then you drink it and it

550
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 3: basically absorbs all the fat in your guts. You're on

551
00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 3: the road, eating in pubs every night, traveling, right, So

552
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 3: I thought, you try this and try and lose a

553
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 3: bit of weight before the wedding.

554
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 1: What could go wrong?

555
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 3: And because I had diagnosed ADHD back then, I thought

556
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 3: I'll take half a seed, not the eight. Yeah, so that,

557
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 3: you know, ended up in an explosive situation that I'm

558
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 3: not proud of. That Grant very kindly mentioned on the podcast,

559
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 3: but that was not the story I was thinking of.

560
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 3: But there's plenty, there's plenty. That's why we can't go

561
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 3: back and listen to what we've said, whether it's.

562
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 2: Like anxiety or post natal anxiety. And you know, Chezy's

563
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 2: been very open about, you know, the things that she's encountered,

564
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 2: you know, in our long life together.

565
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 3: As we both have post traumatic stress. We've spoken about

566
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 3: Grant with his impostor syndrome, you know that filters into

567
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 3: every part of his life with.

568
00:30:53,800 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 2: Broken backs, pain, medication, addictions. Yeah, it's just codependency, codependency.

569
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 2: She's finishing my sentences, I says, codependency.

570
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 1: So that's absolute. But don't you think though, when you

571
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 1: are like, I don't know, I've never really met scripted, prepared,

572
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 1: planned Grant. I've only met you now, right, And for me,

573
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 1: this version, well, I guess it's a situation dependent. But

574
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 1: I think in a podcast, the less planned, the less prepared,

575
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 1: the less scripted, the less choreographed, the more people are

576
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 1: going to connect, Like, the more raw and real the conversation.

577
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 1: Like people say to us all the time, we're not

578
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 1: the most I'm not the smartest, for sure, we're not

579
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 1: the most polished. We're not the most professional podcast, but

580
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:53,760
Speaker 1: hopefully we're one of the most authentic in that there's

581
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:56,640
Speaker 1: zero prep. I'll have a bit of a read of

582
00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: who I'm chatting to, but there's no list of questions,

583
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 1: there's no there's no pre planning. I don't bring up

584
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 1: you guys, And like I get asked to come on

585
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:11,440
Speaker 1: other podcasts, they send me the questions. I go, I'm

586
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 1: not going to read your questions. I'm not going to

587
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 1: do a pre planned fucking conversation. And they're like, oh,

588
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 1: but I go, no, just talk to me and see

589
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 1: where we go. I think that's part of the appeal

590
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 1: of you two.

591
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 3: Thank you.

592
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 2: I think so it's not how we used to go

593
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 2: about it, but because you know, if you were say

594
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 2: the Sunrise, we're the person at the time you you

595
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 2: were on for three minutes every half hour, so you

596
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 2: had to make those three minutes short and sharp, scynct.

597
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 2: And I was kind of the professional that was like,

598
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 2: make sure leave no stone unturned and make sure that

599
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 2: no matter what happens, you've got something, You've got something right.

600
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 2: So particularly if you're if you're hosting like a Grand

601
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 2: Final for Australia's got talent or something. It's a big,

602
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 2: live thing and everything's resting on you. You're driving the ship,

603
00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 2: so you have to know everything about the show in

604
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 2: case it goes wrong, because you're the one who's got

605
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 2: to carry it when if it all falls apart. So

606
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 2: I was always an over preparer who had a lot

607
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 2: of things in his back pocket, and case this, I

608
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 2: wanted to do the opposite because I found that actually

609
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 2: quite an exhausting way to work. And then also, you,

610
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 2: particularly for the early stages of your career, you end

611
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 2: up acting like, you know, the saying you'd dress for

612
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,360
Speaker 2: the job you want, not the one you've got. I

613
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 2: would sort of behave for the job that I wanted,

614
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 2: not for the one I got. So you're sort of

615
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 2: pretending like, all right, I was a little bit of

616
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:35,680
Speaker 2: Daryl Summers. I was a little bit of Larry end

617
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 2: There was a little bit of Roe McManus. I take

618
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 2: pizzas of other people and I put them together and go, well,

619
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 2: I'll be that, but you're really still only the sum

620
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 2: of other people's parts. But whereas this podcast came along,

621
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 2: I don't have to talk in three minutes anymore, and

622
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 2: I don't have the responsibility of saving a show if

623
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 2: an act falls over, or the light drops from the

624
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 2: sky or a camera doesn't work, and you still got

625
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 2: to push through because it's live. It was like, fuck it.

626
00:33:58,120 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 2: I don't want to work like that anymore. I can't

627
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 2: just want to see I just want to riff. I

628
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 2: want to see where it goes. I want to see

629
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 2: where my mind goes. Whereas I needed to know the

630
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 2: next three steps ahead of where I was previously, and

631
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:10,920
Speaker 2: this is you don't have to do that here, and

632
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:12,320
Speaker 2: it's so much more enjoyable.

633
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:18,359
Speaker 1: Doesn't come with the same risk, right CHESI, Yeah, yeah.

634
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 3: Well it depends. It depends what we're talking about.

635
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 2: One is one is paralyzing perfectionism, and one is just

636
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 2: doing it for the pure enjoyment of doing it. And

637
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,719
Speaker 2: that's what we're doing with these podcasts.

638
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 3: The authenticity that you were saying before is what I

639
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 3: love about your podcast, Craig, and that's that's exactly what

640
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 3: we we feel with our audience in our podcast as well.

641
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 3: We just it's real and we over the years, we've

642
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 3: had so much shit written about us that's so far fetched,

643
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 3: and you know, the people who know us well, they

644
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 3: know that, you know how far fetched it is, but

645
00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,640
Speaker 3: you know it's it's fun.

646
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,319
Speaker 2: Our used to be our only chance of a right

647
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 2: of reply because previously, you know, the magazines could write

648
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 2: whatever they want and you had no say, you know,

649
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 2: prior to Twitter, prior to social media, prior to podcasts,

650
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 2: they could just have their absolute way with you, and

651
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,759
Speaker 2: they could determine whether your career failed or succeeded just

652
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,839
Speaker 2: by whatever they made up. But we tried to take

653
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 2: the power back a little bit, and often our stories

654
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 2: were actually way juicier than the ones they were making up,

655
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 2: and that's a true So it ended up being you know, fun.

656
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 2: And then we've evolved from that from being you know,

657
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 2: let's tell our true stories to now let's get interesting

658
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:35,360
Speaker 2: people on and sort of and here we are because

659
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 2: we've made a fuck ton of mistakes in our life

660
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 2: and we're at a point where we're okay sharing those now.

661
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 2: And we used to we were part of the problem.

662
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 2: You know, we used to be a part of a

663
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 2: breakfast television show, which is fake, it's made up. I

664
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,920
Speaker 2: think the damage that news does to us as a

665
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 2: community and to humans is terrible, and I used to

666
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:58,880
Speaker 2: make those stories. You know, I think it trades in

667
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 2: fear and and it hits our human impulses, which is,

668
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 2: you know, back to our cavemen days, we had to

669
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 2: be so hyper aware of what was going to kill

670
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 2: us next that we're constant, you know, in a state

671
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:16,280
Speaker 2: of high alert, you know. And I think news delivers

672
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 2: that up. Just what do I need to be afraid

673
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 2: of next? And all they do is they give you

674
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 2: so much fear so you return tomorrow night to find

675
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 2: out what you need to be afraid of tomorrow night.

676
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 2: And I don't I feel bad about that now, and

677
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,839
Speaker 2: I don't want to be that bloke. So I'd rather

678
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 2: be offering something that might you know, maybe it helps someone,

679
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 2: Maybe it makes a difference in someone's life, rather than

680
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 2: just make them afraid of everyone and everything.

681
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that well. And also I think people

682
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 1: forget that the news is a product, Like it's a

683
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:53,279
Speaker 1: product and it needs sponsors, and it's you know, it's

684
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:57,320
Speaker 1: not objective, it's you know, it's not objective, it's it's

685
00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:00,480
Speaker 1: it's anyway, let's not get into that. But you know,

686
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 1: I think to your point that the brain is literally

687
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 1: like the primary function of the brain is to keep

688
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 1: you safe it's a risk risk detection machine, you know,

689
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:14,360
Speaker 1: and so you're always trying to navigate life from that

690
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 1: point of view, you know, especially as parents for yourself,

691
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 1: but then also for your kids. What how do you

692
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 1: reckon both you, either of you or both of you?

693
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:27,680
Speaker 1: And to this like, how are you different now from say,

694
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: five years ago, whether or not that's emotionally, whether or

695
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 1: not that's your outlook, your operating system, your lifestyle, your

696
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 1: intentions moving forward. How do you think you've changed?

697
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 3: Well, me personally, I have in five years. The biggest

698
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 3: change for me, I think was being diagnosed with ADHD.

699
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 3: After the pandemic with Lockdown, we discovered that our eldest

700
00:37:55,719 --> 00:38:00,400
Speaker 3: daughter had ADHD, and before we put her on medication,

701
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,320
Speaker 3: I thought, I better, you know, go down this route

702
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 3: because I think that, you know, I possibly could have it.

703
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 3: And even before I started medication, which was life changing

704
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:15,799
Speaker 3: for me, I started researching and listening to podcasts and

705
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 3: watching webinars and learning all about ADHD and the things

706
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:25,880
Speaker 3: that I struggle with, you know, and kind of normalizing

707
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 3: that for myself. It definitely had a huge effect on

708
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:35,120
Speaker 3: my confidence, which I you know, shared around the house

709
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:38,480
Speaker 3: and with my kids and you know, and then starting

710
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,319
Speaker 3: the medication. That was a massive change for me.

711
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:42,320
Speaker 2: It's huge.

712
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:47,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, tell us shares you pre and posts, so before

713
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,480
Speaker 1: what was happening and as much or as little as

714
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:53,520
Speaker 1: you want to share, but massive difference, how like what

715
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 1: what was the post? You know? Medication life like?

716
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 3: So I have all always been extreme, like extreme chazy,

717
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 3: so very black and white thinking it's either all or nothing.

718
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 3: It was always late to things because I had just

719
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 3: loaded myself up with so much stuff. Chronically, I was

720
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:23,279
Speaker 3: a chronic worker, just constantly juggling probably ten things, but

721
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:27,720
Speaker 3: not doing any any one of those things particularly well.

722
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:35,360
Speaker 3: I was very stretched, really overthinker. Ah yeah, yeah, I

723
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 3: would say I was an overthinker, but I'm more hyperactive,

724
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 3: so just constantly moving like I was being driven by

725
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:48,400
Speaker 3: a motor. Do you say that even if I was tired,

726
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:51,800
Speaker 3: I was off doing you know, god knows what, always

727
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 3: leaving covered doors open.

728
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

729
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 3: I didn't even know that that was an actual sign

730
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 3: of ADHD. And so I just leave like kitchen cupboard

731
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:03,279
Speaker 3: doors open and will notice.

732
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 2: Yeah first sort of, you know, ten years of our marriage,

733
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 2: I'd be just get around just closing proper doors all

734
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 2: the time.

735
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:16,320
Speaker 3: And I was. I was exceptionally good when when I

736
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 3: was in full adrenaline mode, So if there was an emergency,

737
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 3: I was extremely clear. I was great in emergencies. But

738
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 3: I had real difficulty processing very emotional situations, which I

739
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:32,359
Speaker 3: always seemed to find myself in. You know, I kind

740
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:38,920
Speaker 3: of retained a lot of that emotion and just could

741
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 3: not start jobs, jobs like cleaning out the kid's cupboards

742
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 3: or unpacking boxes or things like that. I just found

743
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 3: it was just so difficult to start, so paralyzing. Yeah,

744
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 3: so that's a snapshot of what it was like beforehand.

745
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 3: And then I just from remember the first day I

746
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 3: started the medication, and remember I'd been doing podcasting and

747
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 3: I'd been kind of really trying to work hard on

748
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 3: myself before I started it. I also changed my diet,

749
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 3: took sugar out, increased water, increased a Mega three supplements

750
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 3: and flaxeed oil. Started the medication, and I remember looking

751
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:27,760
Speaker 3: around the house and thinking, oh my god, this place

752
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 3: is a dump. How have we lived like this? It

753
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:34,400
Speaker 3: was like I can't even explain it. It was like somebody

754
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,919
Speaker 3: cleared the windscreen and I thought, oh, I've just got

755
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:39,920
Speaker 3: to I've just got to get stuck into this. So

756
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:45,799
Speaker 3: just started little jobs. You know, the kitchen draw that

757
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 3: had been messy, and like every time I looked at

758
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:51,359
Speaker 3: it just felt chronically overstimulated by it. I just got

759
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 3: in and cleaned it.

760
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 1: Have you guys heard of that book by Gary Chapman

761
00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 1: called The Five Love Languages? Oh?

762
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:02,479
Speaker 3: Yes, I think we've got a copy of doing.

763
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 2: No, I'm not familiar with it.

764
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:07,760
Speaker 1: Why so I think of you two, and I'm just curious.

765
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 1: So this guy created this model for kind of explaining.

766
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 1: It's science, it's around human behavior, it's psychology. It's about

767
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:20,320
Speaker 1: the way that people give an express love. I'm getting

768
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 1: deep here, but I'm interested with you too, So I'll

769
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:25,880
Speaker 1: quickly explain to you and the listeners what it is. Melissa,

770
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 1: If I fuck this up, can you because I might

771
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 1: get one of the five wrong. Right. But so, the

772
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:36,080
Speaker 1: idea behind it is that we all show love and

773
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:40,239
Speaker 1: express love in a way that's unique to us, in

774
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 1: that not everyone else does it exactly the same as us,

775
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 1: so and we receive love differently. So if I want so,

776
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:51,360
Speaker 1: let's say we'll go through the five different love languages.

777
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 1: One is physical touch, one is quality time, one is

778
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 1: words of affirmation, One is gifts and one is acts

779
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:01,960
Speaker 1: of service. So what this means is physical touch might

780
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 1: be romantic or sexual between a couple. It could be

781
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:07,360
Speaker 1: a hug or a cuddle from a friend. Could be

782
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 1: a hand on the shoulder, could be a rub on

783
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:12,320
Speaker 1: the back. But it's physical where people find that comforting

784
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:15,720
Speaker 1: and people feel on some level loved through that quality

785
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 1: time is obvious. What it is is I feel loved

786
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 1: when the person that I love sits with me, gives

787
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:27,280
Speaker 1: me attention, spend time, spends time with me. Words of affirmation, grant,

788
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,879
Speaker 1: you're amazing, mate, I love you. You're so fucking good

789
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 1: at what you do. I wish I was more like you.

790
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 1: Blah blah, words of affirmation, gifts CHESI I made this

791
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:39,359
Speaker 1: for you. I hope you like it, blah blah blah,

792
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 1: and acts of services. Mate. I'm going to come over

793
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,879
Speaker 1: to your joints, tomro and clean the gutters because there's

794
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 1: shit hanging out everywhere. And I know you're as bud

795
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:48,879
Speaker 1: as handy as an ashtray on a motorbike. I'll see

796
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:52,879
Speaker 1: you at twelve, right, so we all. So, my old

797
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:58,719
Speaker 1: man's love language is words of affirmation. So if you're

798
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 1: tell him he's fucking amazing, and he's an artist, the

799
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:04,440
Speaker 1: best artist in the world. He feels loved, but if

800
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 1: you give him a hug, or try to give him

801
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 1: a hug, he fucking runs into the backyard right now. Ironically,

802
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:15,960
Speaker 1: he never tells me great things like I'll tell him

803
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: he is brilliant. He would never do that to me. Right,

804
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 1: So my mum, for example, I bought my mum her

805
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 1: last two cars, and it's not even about the cars.

806
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 1: It's just that, well one she loves the cars, but

807
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 1: she loves the fact that her son loves her enough

808
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 1: to do that for her. Right, So I want to

809
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,839
Speaker 1: go through him again. And obviously acts of services doing

810
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 1: stuff for people, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, So grant,

811
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,239
Speaker 1: what do you think your love language is?

812
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 2: Like?

813
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,360
Speaker 1: How do you like? What do you need from the

814
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 1: people that are close to you that makes you feel

815
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:56,760
Speaker 1: most loved? So I'll go through in physical touch, quality time,

816
00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 1: words of affirmation, gifts, and acts of service.

817
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 2: I think it's quality time or acts of service, right,

818
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 2: physical touch, I've got an issue with that at the moment,

819
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 2: which I'm trying to get to the bottom of, which

820
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:17,720
Speaker 2: I don't really like that.

821
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:18,400
Speaker 1: That's interesting.

822
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 2: I can give it. I can hug anyone right, someone

823
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:28,320
Speaker 2: that I work with, someone that an acquaintance of a friend,

824
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 2: I can hug. I hug in a professional sense, not

825
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,720
Speaker 2: a drama. I find hugging with my wife very different.

826
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:40,440
Speaker 3: And it's all true because everybody hug it in and

827
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:43,319
Speaker 3: he's like, I have to.

828
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:46,840
Speaker 1: But at the same time, what brought you together was

829
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 1: physical touch your hand on hand.

830
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:53,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I can't figure out what's happened to that

831
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 2: as to why. I almost have an allergic reaction to it.

832
00:45:58,680 --> 00:45:59,520
Speaker 2: And it's weird.

833
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,919
Speaker 1: And unless I cancel my next re appointments, we can't

834
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 1: deep with this. Motherfucker fucking hell. Here we go, fucking

835
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 1: batting down the hatches. Everyone, get yourself a beer, get

836
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:14,560
Speaker 1: the bean bag out. We're not going anywhere. I have a.

837
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 2: Theory, and I'm not sure if this is actual right,

838
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 2: and I'm moving away from this theory, but it's my

839
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 2: most recent theory. My most recent theory is I won't

840
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:25,960
Speaker 2: let my wife hug me because if I come dependent

841
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,840
Speaker 2: on that, and if she leaves me, then I have nothing.

842
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:32,880
Speaker 2: So if I don't allow our connection to get stronger,

843
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 2: it'll hurt less when she goes Wow.

844
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 1: So that's that's mentally very insightful.

845
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that that plays back to the

846
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:48,879
Speaker 2: imposter syndrome. I'm not good enough, I'm unlovable. I'm unlovable.

847
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:51,440
Speaker 2: I think is a core belief that I have, which

848
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 2: I've been working a hell of a lot on because

849
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 2: i know that damage is my relationship with my wife

850
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:58,839
Speaker 2: because it makes you act in certain ways. But I

851
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 2: think I'm not ensure. I'm not entirely sure this is right,

852
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 2: and I'm still doing work on it, so it's all new.

853
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 2: But I think I'm shutting down affection from my wife

854
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 2: because I'm worried that I'm not good enough to love

855
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:16,839
Speaker 2: in the long term, so therefore I can't let her

856
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,120
Speaker 2: get closer to me. Wow.

857
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:21,920
Speaker 1: Man, I appreciate that so fucking honest and real. But

858
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:26,400
Speaker 1: vulnerability is strength, dude. So you know, even though that

859
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:29,840
Speaker 1: that's scary for you, we don't have to do anything,

860
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 1: but I'd suggest you open that door and just be

861
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 1: scared and let her fucking hug you in the morning.

862
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 1: Just lean in, broy, what what about you? And tell,

863
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 1: like one, what's your love language and what do you

864
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 1: think about what Grant just said?

865
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:50,160
Speaker 3: I already picked Grant for quality time. Yeah, I definitely

866
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 3: know that that's his. Yeah, because I've seen him sometimes

867
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:55,839
Speaker 3: when I'm out spraying weeds or something and he has

868
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,400
Speaker 3: to go away. I'm outside and I'm like, I've got

869
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 3: a Dade's fans line, and he's like looking out the window, like,

870
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:07,959
Speaker 3: who like a little puppy.

871
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:09,280
Speaker 1: My dad's going off to war and he's fucking waving

872
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:09,960
Speaker 1: at the window.

873
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:14,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so I know, and and I do try

874
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:21,720
Speaker 3: to take that into account. My love language, I feel

875
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:26,759
Speaker 3: like mine is it's sometimes a bit more fluid, like

876
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 3: sometimes it's words, you know, but then maybe acts of service,

877
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 3: you know, to back that up, because I do know

878
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:39,879
Speaker 3: people who just give, you know, spew rhetoric and there's

879
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 3: nothing kind of behind it. Yeah, So I feel like

880
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 3: mine's kind of flexible. But I don't remember reading that

881
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:48,640
Speaker 3: in that book.

882
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:50,799
Speaker 2: I gave two. You shifted between two. That's I think

883
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:51,320
Speaker 2: that's fine.

884
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, wow, Now I.

885
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 1: Know you guys have got to go soon. I'm disappointed

886
00:48:58,239 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 1: because I can talk to you for hours.

887
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 2: Do you have diagnosed yet? You need to finish? Yeah, regardles.

888
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, now I'm we need to come back. We need

889
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 1: about seventy four podcasters or you two fuck us out

890
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:11,440
Speaker 1: because there are so many I'm going to call this

891
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:15,760
Speaker 1: episode all the issues, So right, mad, I'm the captain

892
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,880
Speaker 1: of the issues. Do you two have a this is

893
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:21,319
Speaker 1: a fancy term that needs nothing. Do you have a

894
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:26,399
Speaker 1: parenting style or is it free range? Like do you strategize,

895
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 1: do you talk about things or do you just do

896
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 1: your own thing and it works out.

897
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,440
Speaker 2: I think if we thought about it, we probably do

898
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 2: have a strategy, but it's not like a deliberate or

899
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:42,080
Speaker 2: we've sat down and dot pointed it on an a

900
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 2: four piece of paper.

901
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:47,280
Speaker 3: That's pretty much. I am the boss. I'm the disciplinarian,

902
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:50,400
Speaker 3: and Grant is the fun parent.

903
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:54,839
Speaker 1: You have four kids chas, Yeah.

904
00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:58,920
Speaker 3: Definitely, no, we're here the Yeah. I probably am the

905
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 3: mean one, but that's more because Grant traveled a lot

906
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 3: with the first two, and so I had to be

907
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:09,800
Speaker 3: kind of mum and dad you know when he was away,

908
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:12,719
Speaker 3: and so when he would come home he would get to,

909
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:15,279
Speaker 3: you know, play with them. But we both have a

910
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:22,920
Speaker 3: very strong moral compass. We we're flexible. We let our kids,

911
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 3: you know, get away with some things, but you know,

912
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:28,960
Speaker 3: we're firm on other things. We just want them to

913
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 3: be nice people to hang around when they grow up.

914
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:36,040
Speaker 2: I think self talk is something that we work on

915
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:38,359
Speaker 2: with them because I know that it's something I'm very

916
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 2: guilty of. I have horrific self talk. So trying to

917
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 2: ensure that they establish better relationships with themselves by how

918
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:51,719
Speaker 2: they refer to themselves in their mind is something we

919
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:54,680
Speaker 2: kind of work on a fair bit with them.

920
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:57,840
Speaker 3: And I think we've also learned to be quite open

921
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:01,200
Speaker 3: with them. You know, we're not exposing them to things

922
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:05,800
Speaker 3: that are well beyond the years, but being honest. That's

923
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 3: something that you know, we definitely go into their rooms

924
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:13,880
Speaker 3: and say, hey, you know what, I was a real dick. Well,

925
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:15,200
Speaker 3: I might not say I was a real dick, but

926
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,400
Speaker 3: I was. You know, I was wrong. I yelled and

927
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:21,120
Speaker 3: it's just because I'm tired and I'm maxed out and

928
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 3: i'm you know, x y Z and it wasn't your

929
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:26,600
Speaker 3: fault and I'm really sorry, I really love you.

930
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:29,319
Speaker 2: And that sort of lets him know that it's okay

931
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 2: to make mistakes and mistakes are recoverable. I think knowing

932
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,920
Speaker 2: that mistakes are recoverable means that you won't do anything

933
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:38,239
Speaker 2: to avoid a mistake and mistakes are inevitable, as we know,

934
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:40,560
Speaker 2: but the best stuff that ever happens to you is

935
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 2: often mistake, because it'll end up re routing you back

936
00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:47,760
Speaker 2: down the path you're supposed to go. Mistakes are wonderful,

937
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 2: like a roadblock that you reach and go, oh, thank god,

938
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:52,839
Speaker 2: now I realize I don't need to get on this path.

939
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:56,120
Speaker 2: I'll go down this one instead. So treating mistakes as

940
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,920
Speaker 2: gifts is what we're try instill.

941
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:02,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it. I love it. We've done over

942
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:06,279
Speaker 1: eleven hundred of these eleven hundred episodes, and you too,

943
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:09,239
Speaker 1: are going straight into my top twenty. I loved it.

944
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:12,760
Speaker 1: I loved it. I loved it. You're both fucking great,

945
00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:15,040
Speaker 1: and I you know this. I think this is an

946
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:18,359
Speaker 1: insult and a compliment. I didn't. I mean, I don't

947
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 1: overthink it, but you guys are so so good to

948
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:26,160
Speaker 1: talk to, like really genuinely, and I loved it, and

949
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:28,279
Speaker 1: I love you both. You're both fucking awesome, and you're

950
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 1: brutally authentic and real and lovable and grant. When I

951
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,080
Speaker 1: see I'm going to spoon you on the couch. I'm

952
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:36,280
Speaker 1: not going to let you go because I'm definitely fucking

953
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 1: bigger and stronger than you, so watch out, your son.

954
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:39,399
Speaker 2: Of a bitch.

955
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 1: You will too, Grand j Daniel. They have a podcast

956
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,560
Speaker 1: podcast called It's All True, which I don't believe. I

957
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:48,800
Speaker 1: think some of it's bullshit, but that's the name. Anyway,

958
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:52,839
Speaker 1: we'll stay there. We'll say goodbye, Affair, but thanks for

959
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 1: coming to play on the You project.

960
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 2: Thanks for having you my pleasure, Thanks for having me mate,

961
00:52:57,120 --> 00:52:59,360
Speaker 2: Thanks for everyone listening. So hopefully we didn't lose you

962
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 2: in the first couple minutes talking about Chezy shitting in

963
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 2: the toilets. That's right, that his feet, that's.

964
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 1: Right, Ulessa. You said that'd be shipped. I told you

965
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:12,360
Speaker 1: that'd be all right. But that was brilliant. Don't know me.

966
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:14,000
Speaker 1: See everyone