Speaker 1: I've definitely dated my fair share of douchebags.
Speaker 2: My time.
Speaker 3: I just get tingling, healing my balls.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm spiraling. Oh my God, tell us everything.
Speaker 3: Flame emojis cleft right center.
Speaker 2: Matt loves a bit of God and I need affection back.
Speaker 3: I really need you with that.
Speaker 1: I know I'm jealous. I'm the most jealous person ever.
Speaker 3: Relationships like a fart. If you have to force it,
Speaker 3: it's probably.
Speaker 1: Shit hisity dot com for you. I'll be a bloody
Speaker 1: single and alone with ten cats for the rest of
Speaker 1: my life.
Speaker 2: Lie.
Speaker 3: Hey, guys, it's Ana and Matt here.
Speaker 2: And on today's episode, we're talking about how fucked it
Speaker 2: is to date.
Speaker 1: In twenty twenty one, stay tuned.
Speaker 2: Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all
Speaker 2: things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.
Speaker 4: This is your new go to destination for last gossip,
Speaker 4: intimate details, advice, and much more.
Speaker 1: Okay, how do we know each other?
Speaker 4: So we did a couple of photo shoots together back
Speaker 4: in the day. So the first time we met was
Speaker 4: on the Maya Catwalk.
Speaker 1: The Maya Catwalk.
Speaker 3: Yeah, in two thousand and sixteen.
Speaker 1: I think I was twenty one and you were twenty sixteen.
Speaker 3: That makes me nineteen a baby. So I was a baby?
Speaker 4: Yeah, baby, I remember your You were opposite me, like
Speaker 4: our diressing things were opposite each other.
Speaker 1: How do you remember that?
Speaker 3: I just remember that, God, this girl's cute.
Speaker 2: And because we all get naked in Chames, so you're
Speaker 2: probably herving on me, right.
Speaker 3: I may have quart a glance.
Speaker 1: It doesn't even surprise.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I remember that we were chatting in the line
Speaker 4: before we walked out one time as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then while you slid into the DMS.
Speaker 3: Was it not? I think it was not like straight away,
Speaker 3: I think a little bit after.
Speaker 2: To give it some time, some time, let's start by
Speaker 2: saying that I'm like a hopeless romantic. I love love,
Speaker 2: I want the fairy tale, I want the Prince Charming.
Speaker 1: And what would we say about you?
Speaker 4: Well, I think that I've come out of a situation
Speaker 4: relationship where I thought I wanted that, but it just
Speaker 4: ended up being way too toxic and way too draining
Speaker 4: on my soul my heart.
Speaker 3: So right now I'm just exploring just what Matt, exploring
Speaker 3: my options and seeing what's out there, I guess.
Speaker 1: So does that make you a bit of a fuck boy.
Speaker 4: Well, it depends. It's about perspective, isn't it. I wouldn't
Speaker 4: think I am.
Speaker 1: It is about perspective.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wouldn't think.
Speaker 1: I am something a boy would say, right, Am.
Speaker 3: I digging myself in a hole?
Speaker 2: Early?
Speaker 1: Early?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Very early?
Speaker 1: I thought you would have called it a bit longer.
Speaker 4: No, I mean that, I wouldn't sayny like I'm going around.
Speaker 4: I'm just not emotionally investing anyone because emotionally I'm not.
Speaker 4: I'm not there, not ready to emotionally invest in anything
Speaker 4: that's there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're also romantic at the end of the day.
Speaker 3: I am, and I would.
Speaker 4: I would love to find someone romantic. I love being
Speaker 4: in love. I love love as well.
Speaker 3: Love, But it's got to be missus right, and.
Speaker 2: She's got to be like, yeah, missus Kowski, where you at?
Speaker 3: Where's your head out?
Speaker 2: But you're a bit of a serial DM slider in right?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I do love to slide into a couple of dms.
Speaker 4: I mean that's how I slid into your d ms
Speaker 4: back in the day.
Speaker 1: You did, you slid into my d ms a lot,
Speaker 1: like a lot.
Speaker 3: Did I get any success? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to pull them off. Should we play?
Speaker 2: When I first walked into Love Island and your reaction,
Speaker 2: let's hear that.
Speaker 3: My heart kids stopped for a second there.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh no, I ain't good. You know,
Speaker 4: I don't know yet.
Speaker 3: A Jesus, I know, Anna. I actually sent her a
Speaker 3: DM a couple of weeks ago. To be honest, flame
Speaker 3: emojis left frighton center.
Speaker 4: I just want to say that I have stopped using
Speaker 4: the flame emoji. Now I've moved on to a wave.
Speaker 4: You have a volt, so I just I just send
Speaker 4: a wave. I did try the other day, a kitten
Speaker 4: like a with love heart Ice.
Speaker 1: Okay, how did that go for you?
Speaker 4: Successful? She replied back, me ow wow, Okay, I did
Speaker 4: enjoy that.
Speaker 2: Look, I want to pull up these dms because I've
Speaker 2: had a lot of people ask me what were these
Speaker 2: like mysterious dms that Matt sent you? And I mean
Speaker 2: persistence is Matt's strong point. I would say, I don't
Speaker 2: think I quit, did I know? So?
Speaker 1: The first one was in twenty sixteen, so.
Speaker 3: It would have been how long after we met then?
Speaker 3: Probably months? Weeks, no hours.
Speaker 2: Look, I'm not sure, but the first DM was a
Speaker 2: photograph of your wrestling, and then you said, do you
Speaker 2: want me to get some tickets to watch me wrestle?
Speaker 1: I know you'll enjoy it. Hah.
Speaker 2: Is that a line that you use on lots of girls, like, hey,
Speaker 2: come watch me wrestle.
Speaker 1: It could be fun. I know you'll enjoy it. Hah.
Speaker 3: Yeah I think I have.
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Did you reply?
Speaker 1: I didn't reply. I was absolutely not interested. Are you
Speaker 1: ready for this? Okay?
Speaker 2: So it's me in twenty seventeen. It says you are hot.
Speaker 2: I didn't reply. Wait, what's the photo of it's me dancing?
Speaker 2: Then it says looking super hot, and I said, oh,
Speaker 2: thank you. And then he said how's life being? I
Speaker 2: said yeah, goodyear? You said yeah, same old. Really you're
Speaker 2: still modeling heaps.
Speaker 1: I didn't reply. Then I put up a bikini.
Speaker 2: Post and you said, raise your hands, Resian hands.
Speaker 3: But I've sent you the photo. It's not even a story.
Speaker 1: I reply to, Yeah, it is a story.
Speaker 3: Oh, it is a story. It's nice. Actually, oh my god?
Speaker 2: Okay, and then when can I take you on a
Speaker 2: date night? No response by me.
Speaker 3: You didn't respond to me asking you on a date?
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely not.
Speaker 2: I knew you were a serial slider in, and then
Speaker 2: you are too hot Anna, no reply, and then the
Speaker 2: flame emojis, the love heart emojis.
Speaker 1: You just literally kept going. It was never ending.
Speaker 4: Yeah, give me that. I have precision. What's the word precision? Persistence, persistency, yeast?
Speaker 4: It works to me sometimes and sometimes not hoestly, not
Speaker 4: with a classy, well respected girl like yourself.
Speaker 3: It didn't work.
Speaker 1: Play that.
Speaker 3: Back to the drawing board for that one.
Speaker 2: Back to the Okay, I don't know what do you
Speaker 2: think dating in twenty twenty one?
Speaker 1: Sliding into the dms? Does that work?
Speaker 3: It has worked for me a fair bit. Has it
Speaker 3: worked for you? Do you slide into guy's DMS?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: Not at all?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: Then how would you open a conversation with them?
Speaker 1: I wouldn't.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't look to meet someone on Instagram. But that's
Speaker 2: just my personal preference.
Speaker 3: Really, Okay, that's strange.
Speaker 4: You know. I use Instagram like to meet people they
Speaker 4: signed to mine. I'll slide into their Yeah, So blokes
Speaker 4: don't slide into your DMS at all?
Speaker 1: I mean they do, I just don't really respond.
Speaker 3: What's the best sliding you reckon you've had?
Speaker 2: I don't think they're that exciting like it's like a
Speaker 2: wave like you used to do, or hey, how's.
Speaker 1: It going or such like a compliment.
Speaker 3: But yeah, what would be something that would draw your attention?
Speaker 2: Then?
Speaker 4: For a guy for the listeners listening at home, to
Speaker 4: get your attention and his attention, what would you say
Speaker 4: would be get your attention?
Speaker 2: I don't really think there's anything that anyone could say.
Speaker 1: I feel like, I mean, if it was like my type,
Speaker 1: he was.
Speaker 2: Like tall, tanned, long hair, my vibemselle. No, not you,
Speaker 2: I'm not sure. I just don't really like meeting guys
Speaker 2: on Instagram.
Speaker 3: You'd rather meet them out.
Speaker 1: I'd rather meet them on a daily app.
Speaker 2: I feel like that works for me because it's like
Speaker 2: a bit more you know, anymous as well, Yeah, they're
Speaker 2: wanting to meet someone. I just feel like if a
Speaker 2: guy sliding into my dms, and like, how many other
Speaker 2: girls dms are they sliding into? Probably a lot from experience, Yeah,
Speaker 2: well exactly right. I mean you're what I base a
Speaker 2: lot of that on. And I'm like, if Matt sliding
Speaker 2: in that much, let's.
Speaker 4: Be like a particular. I don't slide into every girls.
Speaker 4: I'm a lot to find something that I find attractive
Speaker 4: with them just sliding first, yeah, like I'm not just
Speaker 4: going like, oh, I try my lucking and then like
Speaker 4: I'm not shooting nine and then see if one like
Speaker 4: you know, I mean the tenth one years ago.
Speaker 3: I just stiff. I think there's something like they're cute,
Speaker 3: then what's hip? I just slide in and react.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, look, you meet girls on Instagram.
Speaker 2: I'd say I would meet guys on like a dating
Speaker 2: app or if I meet them out.
Speaker 3: I prefer to meet a girl out at a club.
Speaker 3: I'd prefer that.
Speaker 2: Get the vibes, get the energy, you.
Speaker 1: Get to know people more.
Speaker 4: Well. Just to put to I've never met up with
Speaker 4: a girl a dating app ever, never ever, really no,
Speaker 4: I've never had I'm on obviously dating apps, but I'm
Speaker 4: using more as if I'm hungover in bed, just swiping to.
Speaker 3: See what a Sunday morning like, just to see what's
Speaker 3: in my area.
Speaker 4: But no, I've never I've never met up or anything
Speaker 4: with a girl for dating app.
Speaker 2: Okay, the question how many girls have you met up
Speaker 2: with from Instagram.
Speaker 4: Cricket scene, that's a very I'd have to go to
Speaker 4: a talent like account. It wouldn't be as many. Obviously,
Speaker 4: I have met up with girls off Instagram. I think
Speaker 4: Instagram is more authentic than a dating app because on
Speaker 4: a dating app, I know, the Instagram, you're only putting
Speaker 4: your best photos forward, but on a dating app you
Speaker 4: have one.
Speaker 2: Dating apps you're doing exactly the same thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's like four we're on Instagram, you could
Speaker 4: have up to like five hundred stories highlights and you
Speaker 4: get a better idea of the girl.
Speaker 2: Do you think your track record is better on Instagram
Speaker 2: now or before Love Islands?
Speaker 3: Definitely?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: There you go.
Speaker 2: So, I mean, I don't know what you want to
Speaker 2: take from that, but that's why I wouldn't really want
Speaker 2: to be meeting people on Instagram. So you are an
Speaker 2: avid slider into the dms, But how many girls are
Speaker 2: actually slide into your dms?
Speaker 1: And what's like the best lines that you get?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I obviously have a lot of girls slide into mine.
Speaker 4: I don't Yeah, I won't reply to it any like
Speaker 4: all of them.
Speaker 1: Any that's not actually true.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Well they have to be like my type, Like
Speaker 4: I'll look through them, and if they're on private, I
Speaker 4: won't like, I'll be like, oh, like I don't know
Speaker 4: what you look like like, I don't know what you're like,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, I can't get an idea
Speaker 4: of just a display picture. So but the best pickup
Speaker 4: I've had was definitely a couple of months ago, maybe
Speaker 4: like early last year, when like the whole COVID thing
Speaker 4: was going down, and the girls said to me, if
Speaker 4: coronavirus doesn't take you out, can.
Speaker 3: I that's actually pretty good, it's pretty good.
Speaker 4: Unfor unfortunately she was in America, so yeah, she couldn't
Speaker 4: take me.
Speaker 1: Out, but she could end maybe in the future.
Speaker 3: Ye, I'll put her on the back when they opened
Speaker 3: up the border.
Speaker 4: I thought that was very impressive, to the point that
Speaker 4: I may or may not have used that. So yeah,
Speaker 4: thank you to that anonymous girl.
Speaker 3: You're going to say the name then? No, no, not yet, okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So like obviously dating in twenty twenty one, there's lots
Speaker 2: of different stages of dating, shall we say. So there's
Speaker 2: obviously the first date when someone asks you out, so
Speaker 2: it's like we're going on a first day, exciting time.
Speaker 3: It's full of lies and butterflies.
Speaker 2: Full of lies from the guys, full of butterflies.
Speaker 1: From the girl.
Speaker 3: I get a tingly feeling in my balls, not not butterflies.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, then so that's obviously like the first dating.
Speaker 4: And then what, well, every relationship is different, we don't
Speaker 4: it move into situationship?
Speaker 3: What's a situationship?
Speaker 1: Let me let me define it for you.
Speaker 3: You've got a definition, I do.
Speaker 2: So a situationship is basically an undefined romantic relationship, unlike
Speaker 2: a friends with benefit situation. There can be feelings involved
Speaker 2: in a situationship, but in terms of the relationship, the
Speaker 2: end goal is a relationship.
Speaker 1: Does that make sense?
Speaker 4: So you guys, well, whoever together are sleeping together. They
Speaker 4: like each other, but I guess they haven't had the
Speaker 4: exclusive chat.
Speaker 3: Yet, the exclusion. So there's a massive gray area between.
Speaker 1: It's very grey.
Speaker 3: It is very great. Weren't you weren't you in a situationship?
Speaker 1: I was? I wasn't very.
Speaker 3: Close to that recently that I was.
Speaker 2: And that's the problem is when you don't define things,
Speaker 2: if that's what you want, I feel like there's so
Speaker 2: many gray areas.
Speaker 1: But yes, I was in a situationship recently.
Speaker 4: Can you before you tell me about your situationship? But
Speaker 4: a lot of people don't like to have that conversation. I,
Speaker 4: for one, am not big on having that conversation with
Speaker 4: someone in that thing unless they are literally like I
Speaker 4: want to lock them down, They're not going nowhere sort
Speaker 4: of thing, you know what I mean? I feel just yeah,
Speaker 4: actually hanging out. I'm going to avoid that conversation at
Speaker 4: all costs.
Speaker 2: I feel like males avoid that conversation and girls are
Speaker 2: kind of like do I bring it up?
Speaker 1: Like should I say something?
Speaker 2: And then if the girl says it too soon, then
Speaker 2: the guy's like bash catching never ye?
Speaker 4: Or if it's sometimes I actually are into it. If
Speaker 4: it's it's toxic.
Speaker 2: I don't think a lot of people are into toxic
Speaker 2: behavior as much as you are.
Speaker 1: You love toxic why, I don't know.
Speaker 4: It keeps me on my toes, keeps me, keeps me guessing,
Speaker 4: keeps things fresh. But I want to hear about your
Speaker 4: situationship before we get too carried away. Yeah, I think
Speaker 4: it's I think that everyone's now itching to hear it.
Speaker 1: Okay, So basically I was seeing this guy.
Speaker 2: He's from interstate, so I met him when I was
Speaker 2: in Byron.
Speaker 3: How did you just meet him at a club?
Speaker 2: So we met on a dating app back in December,
Speaker 2: and then your trip to Byron was what in my
Speaker 2: trip to Byron was April.
Speaker 3: So you spoke for We spoke on and off.
Speaker 1: The whole time.
Speaker 2: And then I was going to buy Ron for my
Speaker 2: birthday and he came up from the Gold Coast to
Speaker 2: meet me and we just got.
Speaker 1: What are you laughing at? I'm keen on okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So then we ended up catching up. We caught
Speaker 2: up another time up there, and then he started flying
Speaker 2: to Melbourn back and forth. He did yeah, like I said, keen, Yeah,
Speaker 2: you didn't get asleep over good signs. And then he
Speaker 2: started flying to Melbourne to see me.
Speaker 3: So he even flew down to Melbourne to see multiple.
Speaker 1: Times, like maybe three or four times.
Speaker 3: This guy sounds like he's keen. Yeah, he's keen. He's
Speaker 3: putting in a lot of.
Speaker 1: The hard I mean that's what you think.
Speaker 3: It definitely sounds it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I think just before the most recent
Speaker 2: Melbourne lockdown, he was like, come to the Gold Coast
Speaker 2: to see me to escape.
Speaker 3: From the lockdown, because we know how much she struggled
Speaker 3: with the lockdown.
Speaker 1: I can't deal with them too much. Yeah kind of.
Speaker 2: But it was just like a day before we had
Speaker 2: the lockdown, was announced, and yeah, he was. I hadn't
Speaker 2: been to the Gold Coast. He'd been to Melbourn multiple times.
Speaker 2: I was like, it's probably my turn just to make
Speaker 2: the effort.
Speaker 1: So I was heading. I was at the airport.
Speaker 2: I was sitting at the boarding gate and then my
Speaker 2: phone started ringing from a random number, and as you know,
Speaker 2: I don't answer random numbers.
Speaker 1: And then all of a.
Speaker 2: Sudden, twenty messages came through all at once.
Speaker 1: I was like, who was blowing up my phone?
Speaker 2: So I clicked on the messages and there was multiple
Speaker 2: screen grabs of him talking to this miscellaneous girl and
Speaker 2: I was just so confused.
Speaker 1: I was like, what is going on?
Speaker 3: So who sent me these messages?
Speaker 1: So it turns out it was his ex girlfriend.
Speaker 3: And he was talking to her.
Speaker 2: The whole time he was talking to me. And so
Speaker 2: I'm sitting at the boarding gate at the airport and
Speaker 2: I'm like, my bag, my thirty kilos of luggage you
Speaker 2: a weekend for a weekend, My thirty kilos of luggage
Speaker 2: is currently heading to Brisbane, or is about to be
Speaker 2: heading to Brisbane.
Speaker 1: Like this can't happen.
Speaker 2: So I was just like called the number and I
Speaker 2: was like, Hi, who am I talking to, And the
Speaker 2: girl was basically like, Hey, I'm the guys ex girlfriend,
Speaker 2: and I just wanted you to know that he's been
Speaker 2: saying us both the whole time.
Speaker 1: I've known about you the whole time, and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's been sleeping with us both, and so obviously
Speaker 2: I really like this guy, you know. And so I
Speaker 2: was like quite upset, like I started crying in the airport.
Speaker 3: At the airport, was anyone looking at you?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes they were.
Speaker 2: And I went up to the air possess and I
Speaker 2: was like, there's been an emergency and I need, as
Speaker 2: in need to get my bags off this flight. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I cannot go to the Gold Coast like I will
Speaker 2: not and cannot go to the Gold Coast. Please get
Speaker 2: my bag off the flight. And I ended up holding
Speaker 2: up the flight by ten minutes. So the flight ended
Speaker 2: up being late because they were pulling my bag.
Speaker 3: There'd be some angry people on that plane.
Speaker 2: Not more angry than not more angry than me.
Speaker 3: A right, So let me get this straight.
Speaker 4: He was sleeping with you, yeah, and sleeping with his ex, yes,
Speaker 4: And she knew that he was going down to Melbourne
Speaker 4: to sleep with you.
Speaker 2: He lied some of the times that he came down,
Speaker 2: but then other times he told her he came to Melbourne.
Speaker 1: Okay, so he was sugarcoating this story, like.
Speaker 2: How long ago had he broken up with this miscellaneous
Speaker 2: e I loves. He broke up with her about eight
Speaker 2: months prior.
Speaker 4: I think had they continued talking and sleeping together the
Speaker 4: whole time after?
Speaker 2: I think so now in hindsight, But I didn't know
Speaker 2: that at the time. But there was definitely some flaws
Speaker 2: in the story that I started.
Speaker 4: Okay, So when I originally first heard this story, I
Speaker 4: was like, what a fuck with?
Speaker 3: Like what a dog? You know what I mean? Doing
Speaker 3: dirty on Anna, my girl? But then I thought to myself,
Speaker 3: hang on, this.
Speaker 4: Guy has put himself in a really shit situation because
Speaker 4: he's probably still was sleeping hanging out with his ex
Speaker 4: and then things have obviously snowballed with you. And because
Speaker 4: he still cared for his ex, he didn't want to
Speaker 4: cut her off straight away, and I think the whole
Speaker 4: situation maybe just got away from him.
Speaker 3: I know you don't like to hear it.
Speaker 1: No, I agree, and he got caught up.
Speaker 4: I don't like the guy, I don't get me wrong,
Speaker 4: but like I just I got a little understanding of
Speaker 4: what happened, and I've been pretty close to that situation.
Speaker 2: So first happens said to me, I think that he's
Speaker 2: still sleeping with his ex before before we see him
Speaker 2: came out.
Speaker 3: I remember having lunch and I said.
Speaker 2: There was a few like things where he got a
Speaker 2: bit annoyed when I asked questions, and that said, straight up,
Speaker 2: I reckon he's sleeping with his ex.
Speaker 3: Men's intuition. It takes on to no one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it takes on to no one who's anything like you.
Speaker 1: I'm worried.
Speaker 4: Well, no, I mean yeah, I think this whole situation
Speaker 4: just got away from you. Didn't expect things to snowball,
Speaker 4: was you? Obviously it did put himself in an a position. Yeah,
Speaker 4: he was scared to break things off with his X.
Speaker 4: It's shit out's behavior. Yeah, it's not it's not acceptable,
Speaker 4: but yeah.
Speaker 2: But then it's bringing it back to the whole situation ship,
Speaker 2: which it's it's kind of like free reign. It's kind
Speaker 2: of like nothing's defined. We're not exclusive, we're not boyfriend
Speaker 2: and girlfriend. If you're in like an undefined situation situationship, do.
Speaker 1: You think people can do what they want?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: I think in.
Speaker 4: Hindsight, you should have asked him about the exclusive chat
Speaker 4: or it wasn't moving that way. I mean you were
Speaker 4: about to fly up to the Gold Coast, he was
Speaker 4: flying down.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, look, I just think that if the
Speaker 2: guy hasn't initiated that, then I tend not to because
Speaker 2: I'm like, if you're not there, then I don't want
Speaker 2: to be pressuring or putting that onto you. And maybe
Speaker 2: that's a flow of mine, and maybe I do need
Speaker 2: to step up in future, but.
Speaker 1: For me, I just find that conversation.
Speaker 2: Uncomfortable or I feel like I'm pressuring someone into doing
Speaker 2: something that they don't want to do, Like they should
Speaker 2: know that I'm a cat and they're lucky they can't
Speaker 2: see it.
Speaker 3: That's the end.
Speaker 4: Well, I have a little story from a situationship last year.
Speaker 4: I was obviously seeing this girl sleeping together, hanging out,
Speaker 4: and I went onto a radio station and I had
Speaker 4: a date with a girl this story. So I went
Speaker 4: and had a date with her, and obviously things snowballed
Speaker 4: from there and we started talking off air and we
Speaker 4: started talking.
Speaker 3: Like on FaceTime.
Speaker 4: She obviously didn't live in Australia and we were chatting,
Speaker 4: exchanging messages and the girl I was seeing at the
Speaker 4: time found out yeah, and she cracked it at me
Speaker 4: and I was like, but there was no conversation about
Speaker 4: us being exclusive. You knew I was doing that date.
Speaker 4: I actually did it in your lound room while you
Speaker 4: were asleep, Like you knew it was happening. You knew
Speaker 4: what was going to happen.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? You knew.
Speaker 2: And I think the thing that we have to be
Speaker 2: careful with is that it doesn't make it less hurtful.
Speaker 3: Yes, because if the tables were turned, you'd be hear me,
Speaker 3: I feel like I'd be quite mad.
Speaker 4: But again, there was no conversation, so I probably if
Speaker 4: she said to me, there was no conversation, let's have
Speaker 4: the conversation now, which eventually I turned that in and
Speaker 4: I said, let's have the conversation now. Are like that,
Speaker 4: are we exclusive now?
Speaker 1: And so you said it there?
Speaker 3: I said, so I because we were arguing.
Speaker 4: So I said, let's have the come exclusive and we
Speaker 4: dated like the next week.
Speaker 2: I asked, your girlfriend, so that was your most recent girlfriend?
Speaker 4: Yes, I just thought that was my most recent situationship
Speaker 4: that I caught myself in after hearing yours.
Speaker 2: I mean, so, do you think that the guy should
Speaker 2: be the one to initiate the exclusivity or boyfriend and
Speaker 2: girlfriend chat or do you think that a girl needs
Speaker 2: to step up to the play and be like, hey,
Speaker 2: this has gone on for too long.
Speaker 1: What are we let's define this.
Speaker 3: I think it comes down to a lot of things.
Speaker 4: It comes down to if you're going on dates, if
Speaker 4: you're like doing romantic things, you're introducing them to your friends,
Speaker 4: even your family, introducing him to your family. They're staying
Speaker 4: over multiple nights in a week. I mean, if you're
Speaker 4: they're just coming around after a night out for a
Speaker 4: glass of wine.
Speaker 2: The what you're doing text there the WYD if you're
Speaker 2: getting a w.
Speaker 4: I D friends you're going to it's not going to
Speaker 4: go the way you want it to go. But if
Speaker 4: it turns on that, and then if it's a girl,
Speaker 4: Gray's responsibility, I think that falls into whoever's feeling like
Speaker 4: they want to have that conversation.
Speaker 2: Right, do you think that that conversation is like a
Speaker 2: make or break Like that's definitely broke up a lot
Speaker 2: of situationships that we're going really smooth sailing into the sunset,
Speaker 2: and that conversation puts like a huge boulder in the way, right, Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a tricky conversation.
Speaker 4: It is, and I'm not here to tell anyone to
Speaker 4: go do it just and then don't take.
Speaker 3: My advice and come at in.
Speaker 1: Don't that situation, that conversation.
Speaker 4: She's not messaging you, just yeah, just pick your moments,
Speaker 4: see where it's going, see if they like you, and
Speaker 4: then take it.
Speaker 1: Depends what you're looking for, depends what you want.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: And then I feel like going forward, I'm going to
Speaker 4: be a lot more transparent with women i'm seeing and
Speaker 4: say that I'm not looking for anything right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't.
Speaker 1: And I think that's important.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that is very important. Okay, So this miscellaneous guy
Speaker 4: that kept flying down to Melbourne, I've got no idea
Speaker 4: what his name is. He kept flying down to Malovine.
Speaker 4: So you're flying down to malim putting in all this effort.
Speaker 4: Is that the most effort a guy has put in
Speaker 4: for you? Or has a guy put in more effort
Speaker 4: than that?
Speaker 2: I mean, look, I've had a sixth and a half
Speaker 2: year relationship. I don't know if a lot of people
Speaker 2: know that about me, And we used to do amazing things.
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna say no, I'm talking about at the.
Speaker 4: Start, at the start when they're trying to get you
Speaker 4: in a relationship, because I'm I've been known to be
Speaker 4: guilty of putting in a lot at the start, and then.
Speaker 2: I thought, you put it in the minimum effort that
Speaker 2: I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 3: No, I put in a lot of effort I do
Speaker 3: with some girls.
Speaker 1: What's the most amount of effort you put in?
Speaker 4: I probably can't tell you off the top of my
Speaker 4: head the most amount of effort I've put in. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but I can definitely tell you the most minimum amount
Speaker 4: of effort I've put in.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you can. That's exactly what I just said.
Speaker 3: Would you like me?
Speaker 1: I would like to know the minimum amount of effort
Speaker 1: that you.
Speaker 4: Put in a right, So, straight off the bat, I
Speaker 4: asked you girls, go on to walk with me.
Speaker 3: So I got I actually picked her up, picked up and.
Speaker 4: Drove her so somewhere We went for a walk pretty
Speaker 4: much around the block, went for a walk around our
Speaker 4: black local block.
Speaker 1: So what you're telling me is you picked her up
Speaker 1: from her house house and then went for a walk
Speaker 1: around the block.
Speaker 4: The zeros and heroes of it don't make much sense.
Speaker 4: The logistics are pretty off. But this is what happened.
Speaker 4: I think there was not much planning on my behalf.
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of planning and taking her
Speaker 1: to your house.
Speaker 3: So I got her back to so then we went
Speaker 3: for a walk around the block. It was all good.
Speaker 4: Then I was like, hey, do you it's been like
Speaker 4: a forty five minute walk. I was like, I don't
Speaker 4: want to. We've been good chats, good, good banter. I was, I,
Speaker 4: you want to come in for dinner? And she's like, oh,
Speaker 4: you're going to cook me in? I said, I'll see
Speaker 4: what I've got at home, see what I can whip
Speaker 4: up for you.
Speaker 1: So she's sitting in there, Chef Matt in the house.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Chef Matt. I was like, let's see what I
Speaker 3: can do.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's sitting in the lounde room watching whatever was
Speaker 4: on foxtail. So we're sitting there and that's.
Speaker 1: Putting a zapor non ready to cook her in ass.
Speaker 4: So I looked through the fridge, not much going on.
Speaker 4: Wasn't going to dash out to the shops. I'd been
Speaker 4: sent out some you know, refrigerated meals. Like, you eat
Speaker 4: in three minutes?
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: So I had two of the same so I was like,
Speaker 3: all right, we're on here.
Speaker 4: So I put them both in the microwave, eated them
Speaker 4: both up, and served her off like one of the
Speaker 4: refrigerated meals, and claimed it as my own, and I
Speaker 4: just cooked it. I think she was a bit suspicious
Speaker 4: when she walked in the kitchen though, and saw no evidenced,
Speaker 4: no evidence of cooking whatsoever, and it took six minutes
Speaker 4: to do. But I don't think she asked questions. I
Speaker 4: think she didn't want to know answers to fair enough.
Speaker 4: Let's say that I was safe not to get a
Speaker 4: second day.
Speaker 1: So you didn't get a second day? How did you
Speaker 1: get ghosted?
Speaker 3: I asked her.
Speaker 1: I would have go Did you just be honest?
Speaker 4: I asked her for a second one. I said, yeah,
Speaker 4: do you want me to cook your dinner? And I said, so,
Speaker 4: what do you want you?
Speaker 3: Guys?
Speaker 4: Don't worry, I'll cook myself dinner. I said, Okay, she is,
Speaker 4: so okay, what's up? I said, Okay, what's up? She goes,
Speaker 4: I'm not really down for a guy who puts in
Speaker 4: the bare minimum, even if it's just for a cuddle.
Speaker 4: Have a good night XX.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's a pie straight in your face.
Speaker 2: She never wants to see your face again. And to
Speaker 2: be honest, I'm with her like I feel like me.
Speaker 3: That's here, guy, have a refrigerated meal.
Speaker 1: It's a strong note from me.
Speaker 4: Well maybe, yeah, maybe for the next all right, the
Speaker 4: next girl I invite for dinner, I'm going to cook
Speaker 4: her a nice steak. I'll figure something out my signature meal.
Speaker 2: Oh god, I'm stressed. I'm stressed for anyone dating that
Speaker 2: right now. So would you say you're emotionally unavailable at
Speaker 2: the moment.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would.
Speaker 4: I'm I mean, if I say that and then this
Speaker 4: amazing girl comes along and she ticks a lot of
Speaker 4: my boxes, let's hope I can open up emotionally to her.
Speaker 4: But right now I need to I need to break
Speaker 4: I know that with your actually did it a lot
Speaker 4: differently to the way I did it when we broke off. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but mine wasn't an easy break wasn't an easy cut off.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So just to update people, when I broke up
Speaker 2: with Josh, we cut communication. And then when you broke
Speaker 2: up with your ex, you guys, we kept Captain contact
Speaker 2: kept captain contact. You were saying before, if your perfect
Speaker 2: girl came along, like, describe her pains as a picture.
Speaker 3: Who is she?
Speaker 1: What does she look like? What's her personality?
Speaker 3: So I'll start with looks. So she would be I'll
Speaker 3: get to that. So she would be tallish yep, because
Speaker 3: I'm a tall guy. She would be. She'd have brown hair,
Speaker 3: should be very easy on the eyes, she'd have her
Speaker 3: co and the main thing.
Speaker 4: And I think the thing we're looking for here is
Speaker 4: I like boobs. I'm a massive boobsman, so she has
Speaker 4: to have it. Has boobs.
Speaker 3: I have boobs.
Speaker 4: I have dated girls with obviously not the biggest boobs
Speaker 4: on the bigg boob.
Speaker 2: Sidety bitty titty committee. But yeah, so it's like a
Speaker 2: common thing.
Speaker 1: Guys are rather a bum guy or a boobs guy.
Speaker 4: Right, Well, I don't know any other boobs guys. I've
Speaker 4: never actually met another guy who looks at boobs like
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 2: I do you do?
Speaker 1: So the guy who I the Gold Coast guy shall
Speaker 1: we call it, was a boobs guy.
Speaker 2: Okay, but I actually think, and this is maybe really
Speaker 2: bad of me to say, but I've found that boobs
Speaker 2: guys are so toxic, Like, just from my personal experience,
Speaker 2: This is not factual, this is just personal experience.
Speaker 1: I find that toxic men are boom men.
Speaker 4: I think that's very unfair to put me in the
Speaker 4: same category. I think that's very I think that's very
Speaker 4: unfair to put me in the same category as mister
Speaker 4: Flyer and Australia for you.
Speaker 2: Which kind of also brings me to the point, is
Speaker 2: romance dead in twenty twenty one? Like, think about when
Speaker 2: our parents were young.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there was a lot, Well there wasn't It wasn't
Speaker 4: as easy to meet someone or to gain access to someone.
Speaker 4: We can just jump on the phone and, like we
Speaker 4: said earlier, slide into someone's dams and then it's white
Speaker 4: left or right.
Speaker 3: And then you're in. You've got actual communication with them
Speaker 3: with no distractions.
Speaker 4: No like you have to wait what time they're back
Speaker 4: from work to call them, have to worry about calling
Speaker 4: their home phone, their parents, or their younger brother or
Speaker 4: younger sister ants older brother answering, Yeah, no, you don't
Speaker 4: have to worry about anything like that.
Speaker 3: You could just literally call them FaceTime when I'm obile.
Speaker 1: What about writing letters to each other? How romantic?
Speaker 4: You do?
Speaker 3: Love it?
Speaker 1: I haven't even looked like getting a letter.
Speaker 2: Ever. If there's any guy out there who wants to
Speaker 2: send me a letter, that could be my alternative to
Speaker 2: sliding into the DMS.
Speaker 1: How cute would that be?
Speaker 3: I actually I don't want to put myself over here,
Speaker 3: but I have wrote letters.
Speaker 2: You have it.
Speaker 3: My ex.
Speaker 4: I wrote her a three page one when we broke up.
Speaker 4: My mum told me that was probably the best thing
Speaker 4: to do, even cute. It out made the the card cute.
Speaker 4: I put like our favorite character on the front. It
Speaker 4: was sad, it's breaking my heart with you, you know,
Speaker 4: Michael Mys the Halloween guy. He was like your favorite
Speaker 4: character and it was like I will always be hunting
Speaker 4: for you or something like.
Speaker 3: Just it was.
Speaker 4: It was a bit weird, if she told me. Even
Speaker 4: even she said that her moum when she read it
Speaker 4: was like, well should be concerned. But it was like
Speaker 4: our favorite characters, like a serial killer, you know.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 3: It was cute and she found the cuteness in it.
Speaker 3: But I wrote her a three page letters.
Speaker 2: So she told you.
Speaker 3: Yes, she told me she's like, look at this guy.
Speaker 1: What this stalker is doing? Blog restraining order?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: So I agree. Yeah, the romance back in the day was.
Speaker 2: A lot more like how cute would it be if
Speaker 2: you just had someone's phone number and you call them
Speaker 2: and then you fall asleep on the phone together, Like.
Speaker 1: That doesn't happen?
Speaker 3: Did you experience that growing up?
Speaker 1: I mean no, because I wasn't really allowed to date
Speaker 1: growing up, like I was.
Speaker 2: My parents were very strict, Like I didn't have my
Speaker 2: first kiss until I think I was sixteen, so I
Speaker 2: didn't really have boys calling the house. And by the time,
Speaker 2: I mean by the time I was sixteen, there was
Speaker 2: mobile phone so we.
Speaker 4: Could text so well, so I would have been thirteen,
Speaker 4: so I would have been calling my girlfriend early bloomer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, hey you dated.
Speaker 3: An older girl. Surprise, surprise.
Speaker 1: So I wasn't even allowed to have like boys over
Speaker 1: at the house.
Speaker 2: I wasn't allowed to have sleepovers at friend's houses as
Speaker 2: soon as I turned like fourteen, because my parents were
Speaker 2: like wrapper and bubble wrap, she's not going anywhere.
Speaker 3: I think that's backfired for you, or I mean no,
Speaker 3: I think it was good.
Speaker 2: I ended up losing my virginity when I was seventeen,
Speaker 2: but I was one day off being eighteen, So the
Speaker 2: only reason I really did it was because I was like,
Speaker 2: I don't want to be an eighteen year old virgin,
Speaker 2: which if you are an eighteen year old virgin, there
Speaker 2: is nothing wrong with that. But in my mindset at
Speaker 2: the time, and because I had a boyfriend of like
Speaker 2: three or four months, I was like, why not, let's
Speaker 2: just do it.
Speaker 1: Happy birthday to me.
Speaker 3: You're like, wow, that was a shit present.
Speaker 2: When I thought it was, I mean it was fun,
Speaker 2: but yeah, yes, I was seventeen almost eighteen.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 4: So after your most recent experience with the Gold Coast guy,
Speaker 4: have you taken a different approach like I said, to
Speaker 4: dating guys or are you still all in on one guy?
Speaker 3: Or are you.
Speaker 4: Scattering for a different word of expression that we like
Speaker 4: to use. Are you're putting your eggs in different baskets
Speaker 4: like I said too?
Speaker 2: I mean I would say that I have put most
Speaker 2: of ths into one basket because you know what, I'm like,
Speaker 2: all or nothing, Like if unless I'm really into someone,
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even look like talking to them, and so
Speaker 2: I think I would say that I definitely wouldn't like
Speaker 2: close conversations with other people, but mainly my eggs would
Speaker 2: be in one basket.
Speaker 3: Okay, but not you right?
Speaker 4: Uh, Well, like I keep saying, I came out of
Speaker 4: a relationship where I don't want to emotionally invest in
Speaker 4: a basket and put all my eggs in there.
Speaker 1: So how many baskets are your eggs in? How many?
Speaker 3: How many baskets are I running?
Speaker 1: How many eggs do you have?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm running out of I'm not.
Speaker 4: When you put eggs into When you put eggs in
Speaker 4: someone's basket, you have to be I feel getting invested
Speaker 4: in that, and you have to feel emotions towards yeah,
Speaker 4: somewhat so like, but then you say that even talking
Speaker 4: to someone is putting energy into that totally.
Speaker 2: And that's and that's the thing is when you're putting
Speaker 2: all of your energy into multiple people, I feel like
Speaker 2: you would be depleted by the end of it because
Speaker 2: you're giving so much of yourself to people.
Speaker 1: And also, like, how did guys date more than one girl?
Speaker 1: Like how would you remember what everyone said?
Speaker 3: I played the card. I don't have a ship memory.
Speaker 2: No you don't, So you tell girls that you have
Speaker 2: like a short term memory loss or something.
Speaker 4: Well, in my defense, a lot of things I say,
Speaker 4: as you know me is off the cuff. So a
Speaker 4: lot of things. I don't put much thought into saying.
Speaker 2: But if you've had a conversation with one person, surely,
Speaker 2: oh remember that, I'll recall that. But if you're having
Speaker 2: the same conversation with multiple girls, then you just use this.
Speaker 1: It's more the memory loss.
Speaker 3: It's chats with people and you know, just off the
Speaker 3: cuff stuff that I say.
Speaker 1: See, I think that's a toxic male trait.
Speaker 2: The moment that you confront a guy about something and
Speaker 2: then they all of a sudden have amnesia.
Speaker 1: I feel like that's a red flat.
Speaker 3: How did your mate go? Did he did something like that?
Speaker 1: Oh, he had amnesia and then all of a sudden
Speaker 1: it all became clear.
Speaker 4: Was there a situation where he called that card? Or
Speaker 4: what do you mean that he didn't remember? Or he
Speaker 4: said something true enough to you and he got his
Speaker 4: wires crossed?
Speaker 1: Oh totally.
Speaker 2: And as a girl, you pick up on it instantly,
Speaker 2: and it's a huge red flag, you know.
Speaker 1: I feel like when.
Speaker 2: Those moments come, ladies, be aware, be on take note,
Speaker 2: write a red flags list.
Speaker 1: I think that all girls should write down.
Speaker 2: A list of the red flags, even if you really
Speaker 2: like a guy, just in case, Just in case, it
Speaker 2: doesn't work out, and then you can look at all
Speaker 2: the red flags and be like, actually, maybe because it's
Speaker 2: not that good, and it'll make yourself feel a little
Speaker 2: bit better. And that's our relationship suck. And dating in
Speaker 2: twenty twenty one sucks because everyone gets.
Speaker 4: I've spoken to you, I've spoken to a girl, and
Speaker 4: I could literally tell I was not her main priority.
Speaker 4: Real I was not the main guy she was talking to.
Speaker 4: I was literally she would take up till like twenty
Speaker 4: four hours. A reply flaked on me a couple of times,
Speaker 4: not keen, and I was just like, you know what
Speaker 4: it is, what it is. I'm not in this boat
Speaker 4: where I want to go full ball to the wall
Speaker 4: with her.
Speaker 3: So I was like, it is what it is.
Speaker 2: I mean it was like, yeah, yeah, that would have
Speaker 2: definitely your ego, your ego that put her on a
Speaker 2: big old pedestal for you.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about that. Let's talk about how playing hard
Speaker 1: to get, Like, does playing hard to get work?
Speaker 4: It depends on the girl. Sometimes it plays hard to get,
Speaker 4: I'll play forget. It depends on the girl, depends on the.
Speaker 1: Situation, depends the value that you're placing on this.
Speaker 3: Girl, on that girl. What about yourself.
Speaker 2: I mean, look, I was seeing someone months back and
Speaker 2: he was playing a little bit hard to get with me.
Speaker 4: And now.
Speaker 3: That look, that's a brave move how.
Speaker 2: That plays, And honestly, I actually think it kind of works.
Speaker 2: But at the end of the day, if you're going
Speaker 2: to like someone, you're going to like them, and if
Speaker 2: you're not, you're not. And what I think happened was
Speaker 2: it just prolonged the inevitable, Like me and him were
Speaker 2: never going to work out because it was a different
Speaker 2: some personality, but him playing hard to get probably extended
Speaker 2: our situationship period maybe by two months.
Speaker 3: So many how did he play hard to get? Just
Speaker 3: so I know.
Speaker 4: Implementing this, No, I'm just trying to figure out because
Speaker 4: I'd feel that a girl might say play hard to get,
Speaker 4: where honestly I'm.
Speaker 3: Just not interested.
Speaker 1: Maybe you are to get I just haven't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I'm not easy, but like sometimes I
Speaker 4: could feel that like a girl's messaging me, like messaging
Speaker 4: mess with me, and like maybe I'm not interested and
Speaker 4: I'm not a ghoster, so I'm not I'm not just
Speaker 4: I'm too I'm too I'm too nice and to consider
Speaker 4: it because I would hate to be ghosted. So I'll reply,
Speaker 4: but pick up that this isn't going anywhere, you know
Speaker 4: what I mean. There's not much energy being put into
Speaker 4: these masters that much thought. Do you know I recently
Speaker 4: got ghosted. I'll express that on another episode.
Speaker 1: I'll express that.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 3: I was explain that story, and so coming up I
Speaker 3: got ghosted. I just took that. I was like, all right,
Speaker 3: that's how you want to play, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Seem a bit salty about that.
Speaker 3: Play hard to get. I'll play forget.
Speaker 2: But I'm feeling a bit of salt coming from you
Speaker 2: about that. You are a bit upset about it, Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean, you don't just not reply. We've been chatting
Speaker 3: for a bit pretty intensely.
Speaker 2: So I went on a first date with someone recently,
Speaker 2: somewhat recently, and then I was after the day being
Speaker 2: very distant, like I was replying twelve hours later, and
Speaker 2: he wasn't really getting the hint. So I might have
Speaker 2: ghosted him. But now I'm starting to feel bad about it.
Speaker 2: So I feel like I should message him and just say, hey,
Speaker 2: probably look down that barrel and give him a nice apology.
Speaker 2: Oh it's just it's so uncomfortable having these conversations with people,
Speaker 2: especially when you don't notice people that well. But it
Speaker 2: is the wrong thing to do by me, and I
Speaker 2: feel like after this episode gonna I'm going to rectify
Speaker 2: that situation and maybe send them a message because I
Speaker 2: do feel bad about it.
Speaker 1: But sometimes like putting your head in the sand and
Speaker 1: just forgetting that it happened.
Speaker 4: But this is what it's about dating in twenty twenty one.
Speaker 4: These things happen. People get ghosted people. You know, you
Speaker 4: ghost people, you burn people. It is what it is.
Speaker 2: It's just like, I feel like we live in such
Speaker 2: a fast paced world and society and we just all
Speaker 2: get things so quickly. It's the instant gratification, and when
Speaker 2: something doesn't work out, we're just like next, Like let's
Speaker 2: let's head, let's let's keep like fowling forward to.
Speaker 3: The He's next in the dan, He's the next in
Speaker 3: the tens.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, on our next.
Speaker 4: Episode, we're going to be talking about breakups. My breakup
Speaker 4: with Josh, my breakup with Kira.
Speaker 1: But yeah, stay tuned. It's going to be really fun.
Speaker 2: If you have a friend who is recently going through
Speaker 2: a breakup, if you are going through a breakup, if.
Speaker 1: You know someone send them the episode. We'd love for you,
Speaker 1: guys to chune in and see you next time.
Speaker 3: See you next time, guys.
Speaker 2: Bye bye, y
Speaker 1: M hm