Speaker 1: Apodjay production.
Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the
Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects
Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect
Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today.
Speaker 3: Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara.
Speaker 3: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level
Speaker 3: up together.
Speaker 1: Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, and find the
Speaker 1: lessons to Grow and Glow. Nothing is off the table
Speaker 1: with Grow and Glow, and we're here to be your expander.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the show. Guys. I cannot wait for this episode.
Speaker 1: I need to hear every detail because I need to
Speaker 1: put my husband in. Tell us what today's we.
Speaker 3: Are talking about, Kurtie finally booking in. Gon't get it.
Speaker 3: I've had such mixed reviews. I've had women who have
Speaker 3: a messaged me and be like, this is the best
Speaker 3: decision we ever made, and then other people messaging I
Speaker 3: think because about age, maybe being like you seem really
Speaker 3: young to be like doing something like this. How old's
Speaker 3: Curdy for reference thirty one, Curty thirty one. I'm thirty
Speaker 3: almost thirty one. Yeah, but I mean we have three kids. Yes,
Speaker 3: we have very beautiful, beautiful kids. Were so happy, both genders. Yes.
Speaker 3: And how it kind of like came about was well,
Speaker 3: actually a year ago. So twelve months ago, Curtie went
Speaker 3: to the doctors and got a referral to go and
Speaker 3: get a vasectomy because we knew that we wanted to
Speaker 3: do it. He went and got it, but we weren't like, oh,
Speaker 3: we'll get it straight away. We just kind of like
Speaker 3: had it sitting there and we kept like pushing it off,
Speaker 3: pushing it off. And as time went on, more and
Speaker 3: more it's like we got more and more sure that
Speaker 3: it was the decision that we wanted to make. And
Speaker 3: then I was at a girlfriend's house and all of
Speaker 3: us girls were sitting around chatting and they were like
Speaker 3: talking about different scares and things that happened, and then
Speaker 3: they looked at me and they're like, what would you
Speaker 3: do if you happened to fell pregnant? And I was like, wow,
Speaker 3: I feel like personally myself in the situation I'm in,
Speaker 3: I believe like everything happens for a reason. I'm like,
Speaker 3: if something like that happened, I would kind of just
Speaker 3: go it's meant to be. But do I want to
Speaker 3: be in that situation?
Speaker 1: No, I don't.
Speaker 3: I am not a good pregnant woman.
Speaker 1: I'm not a good pregnant woman.
Speaker 3: I feel so content with three kids. In fact, sometimes
Speaker 3: in moments, I've been really honest with Ashi about this,
Speaker 3: but with having three that at this age, sometimes if
Speaker 3: one is needing you and then another one is needing you,
Speaker 3: it can be really tough to be there to support
Speaker 3: like two kids at once. In fact, I feel like
Speaker 3: they feed off the energy and sometimes all three are
Speaker 3: like that. And then Kurt and I like trying it.
Speaker 3: I'm like pulling him away from work and you know,
Speaker 3: trying to juggle them. And I feel like we have
Speaker 3: got such a beautiful balance and I'm really proud of
Speaker 3: the way that we parent. And I feel like if
Speaker 3: he threw one more into the mix, I feel like
Speaker 3: I couldn't give as much of me for two to
Speaker 3: go three.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't feel like I could do three. Well.
Speaker 3: There are moments that are tough. There definitely are sit
Speaker 3: out numbered. You are outnumbered.
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, you go with a taj, I've got
Speaker 1: Tala or vice versa, and you can give them all
Speaker 1: your attention, but like three but so I know what
Speaker 1: you mean. I feel like it's yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely. And I feel like even especially these first
Speaker 3: years before they've started school, like trying to be around
Speaker 3: a lot, and even you know, both of us with
Speaker 3: business and that we've made a lot of sacrifice wanting
Speaker 3: to be with our kids, and that's our choice and
Speaker 3: we're so grateful that we've had that choice. But we've
Speaker 3: only got another year and a couple months and then
Speaker 3: Reagan's in school two yeah, and we're like out of
Speaker 3: that zone and we can go more ham in our
Speaker 3: career if we want to, or I could go like, okay,
Speaker 3: I really want you this course. I can actually have
Speaker 3: the time and space to be able to, you know,
Speaker 3: expand or do something a bit different. So for us,
Speaker 3: we kind of just sat down and spoke about it,
Speaker 3: and Kurt was like, I definitely don't have the capacity
Speaker 3: to have another baby, and I was like, neither do
Speaker 3: I Even just the pregnancy alone freaks me out. So
Speaker 3: he was like, I'm just gonna call up. I'll see
Speaker 3: what they have to say. He phoned up and they
Speaker 3: were like, we literally just had a cancelation. We've got
Speaker 3: one next Wednesday to be so it was like six
Speaker 3: dam I know, you had like no time to really
Speaker 3: think about it a good thing. It was really good.
Speaker 3: So it was like six days later. Yeah, I didn't
Speaker 3: really know what to expect because not many of our
Speaker 3: friends have actually had a vasectomy. But Curtie was like,
Speaker 3: he put his hand up, he was like, I'll get
Speaker 3: it done. He's like, you had a C section, you
Speaker 3: have one of your tubes come out, you've been pregnanty charm.
Speaker 3: He's like, I'll do this one for you, baby, thank
Speaker 3: you for us, Yeah, for us. Yeah, I didn't really
Speaker 3: know what to expect, so I put it out of
Speaker 3: my stories and I was like, what am I in
Speaker 3: for guys? Like is this going to be like a
Speaker 3: two week thing? Is this going to be like a
Speaker 3: few day things Like, I have no idea, And I
Speaker 3: really got a mixed.
Speaker 1: Bag to say, it would have been a mixed bag.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think what I've really come to realize
Speaker 3: is it probably is really dependent on the person who
Speaker 3: actually does a job. Because I had some women being
Speaker 3: like it was so bruised it was black and like
Speaker 3: Kurd had no bruising, not any bruising at all. But anyway,
Speaker 3: he was pretty calm and cool and collected up until
Speaker 3: the day of and then he was like, Babe, I'm
Speaker 3: really nervous. I think it was just a fact of
Speaker 3: having to like get your package out in front of Yeah,
Speaker 3: like it's a lot to think about.
Speaker 1: It's something you do every day.
Speaker 3: No, So anyways, we drove in there and he went
Speaker 3: in and he thought it was only going to be
Speaker 3: quite a quick thing and end up actually taking a
Speaker 3: bit longer than what we thought. But he went and
Speaker 3: he laid in on the table and there's like a
Speaker 3: nurse in there, and they're like, get away your clothes off,
Speaker 3: and he had to be like little sheets, like this
Speaker 3: tiny little sheet just like covering his privates. And then
Speaker 3: the guy came in. He was like, I'm gonna put
Speaker 3: a thing in your arm and it's going to make
Speaker 3: you feel really drunk and you'll just like go to
Speaker 3: sleep like most people just get knocked out and fall asleep.
Speaker 1: Get put to sleep.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's not anesthetic. It's like a happy gas
Speaker 3: type thing, I'm guessing, but you have enough of a
Speaker 3: dose to like make you go to sleep, like you
Speaker 3: go in and out of sleep. You're just not with it.
Speaker 3: I think you can go under and get anesthetic though
Speaker 3: as well.
Speaker 1: Okay, but he.
Speaker 3: Had given him the stuff for it, and the guy
Speaker 3: starts doing everything, and Kurt must have fallen asleep at
Speaker 3: the start, I'm guessing. And then he's woken up halfway
Speaker 3: through and he's looked down and he's like, ah, he
Speaker 3: goes that fucking hats and the guy was burning because
Speaker 3: what they do is they open it. There's like these tubes,
Speaker 3: there's a three step process or something. He's like burning
Speaker 3: the thing and the guy looks at Kurt and he's like,
Speaker 3: you're not supposed to be awake. No, So then he
Speaker 3: had to grab this big needle and jamminykurts, don't let
Speaker 3: your husbands listen to this part Germany, Curt's nuts to
Speaker 3: numb it. They don't put the numbing stuff on you're asleep.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 3: But then Kurt said he was just chatting to him
Speaker 3: the whole time he was doing it.
Speaker 1: Is that not a common?
Speaker 3: Not common? He said normally that. He said, you just
Speaker 3: must have a really high tolerance to that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 3: So then Kurt's like, there's this guy, this older guy,
Speaker 3: just playing with my nuts and I'm having chatted to
Speaker 3: him for half an hour while he's doing everything.
Speaker 1: It's fully nam you can't feel a thing, no, fully numb.
Speaker 3: Like once he's stat at the needle, apparently he's a
Speaker 3: little bit painful. And yeah, he came out to me.
Speaker 3: He seemed like he was so drunk. He's like walking
Speaker 3: to and he's like, yeah, I told my wife, will
Speaker 3: come get it for like chatting to the nurse about
Speaker 3: all these things. I'm just so hungry, like just chatting
Speaker 3: about all different funny things. The recovery. Honestly, I had
Speaker 3: so were asking what it was like, and it was
Speaker 3: it was amazing.
Speaker 1: Out of ten? What is it? Five out of ten?
Speaker 1: Seven out of ten?
Speaker 3: Oh, I reckon, it's like a two. He did rest
Speaker 3: that afternoon when we got home. I say that he
Speaker 3: like sat on the chair. He wasn't even laying down.
Speaker 3: And then he still like would waddle up to go
Speaker 3: get stuff bottle, go to the toilet and get food
Speaker 3: and that. And then the next day he had a
Speaker 3: slower day where he just kind of hung out, but
Speaker 3: he came for a drive in the car. After that
Speaker 3: he was perfect. He was up doing everything. He was
Speaker 3: back at the gym, I think it was like five days. Wow,
Speaker 3: he didn't last five days? You know how you're not
Speaker 3: going to have sex for five days? Oh yeah, yeah no,
Speaker 3: And it was fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But then again, like I said, he didn't have any
Speaker 3: bruising or anything, and he's healed amazing, Like, yeah, there
Speaker 3: was no point that I looked at it and was like, oh,
Speaker 3: it was just like tiny little slice and now like
Speaker 3: there's like.
Speaker 1: Nothing incision was it? Yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 3: Tiny little incision. So I don't know if there's different
Speaker 3: ways of getting it done, but yeah, no, his was
Speaker 3: very straightforward. And it just feels so nice now that
Speaker 3: we're nearly at the place where we just don't have
Speaker 3: to worry about it. So what he has to do
Speaker 3: now is he has to wait three months and go
Speaker 3: and get a test done, so has to have like
Speaker 3: sperm in the car. The good thing as well these
Speaker 3: days is if your partner's a bit worried about that,
Speaker 3: is they actually you have an hour to get it there,
Speaker 3: so you can do it at home and drive it in.
Speaker 3: You don't have to do it actually in the waiting room.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've heard that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which is good because that was something Kurt was
Speaker 3: like a bit like ooh about and then if they
Speaker 3: still have live sperm in that, you don't have to
Speaker 3: get it redone or anything. You just got to wait longer.
Speaker 3: So you wait another month or two, it will eventually stop.
Speaker 1: Two weeks. It's actually a long.
Speaker 3: No, yes, three months yeah minimum to go back and
Speaker 3: start getting the test.
Speaker 1: Done happening inside.
Speaker 3: So what happens is it kills all the sperm that's
Speaker 3: been created, but they're still all that live sperm there,
Speaker 3: so you need to have all of it come out.
Speaker 3: I see there's only dead ones, so they're still live
Speaker 3: ones in there. Yeah, and then they would even mix
Speaker 3: with the dead ones. So it's like making sure that
Speaker 3: they all come out every single three months. Okay, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I know, but really straightforward. Good on KURTI, well done,
Speaker 3: well done the team.
Speaker 1: Definitely, yeah, ste he's been very resistant. He's worried if
Speaker 1: you've done any research on like your chakras, Like he's
Speaker 1: very worried it's kind of like disrupt his charkras. But
Speaker 1: I was also like, is that true through you're just scared. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But he just said to me because when Curtie was
Speaker 1: having it, I was like, look, Kat's doing so great bla.
Speaker 1: He was like, Babe, with your surgery, with Black Friday
Speaker 1: coming up, you go to Europe, Like, I just don't
Speaker 1: have the space this year, but let's like revisit next year.
Speaker 1: So January first, I'll be bringing it up. I would
Speaker 1: just love to not have to worry because I feel
Speaker 1: the same as you. If I was to fall pregnant,
Speaker 1: like I believe it would be a little boy. I
Speaker 1: know what the name would be. It would be meant
Speaker 1: to be, and I'd be like, Okay, this is meant
Speaker 1: to happen. But I'm so content with two.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I love our kids, I love dynamic. Steve's not getting
Speaker 1: any younger like he is older. I just don't see
Speaker 1: us having another one. So I'd rather just be able
Speaker 1: to not track what I'm populating and like not worry
Speaker 1: about it because each month I do have that moment
Speaker 1: of like, and if my periods like a day or
Speaker 1: two late, I do kind of panic a little bit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I've made that decision that I just want the
Speaker 1: two that we've got. Yeah, so I'm the same as you.
Speaker 1: I just don't want to I don't know, I don't
Speaker 1: want any negative feelings if I was to fall pregnant.
Speaker 3: And even when you're using protection, it doesn't work all
Speaker 3: the time. Like you don't eat condoms, they only work
Speaker 3: eighty percent of the time.
Speaker 1: We don't use condoms, we pull out method but even that,
Speaker 1: it's like it's like my nineties percentage is going to work.
Speaker 1: H but pre come, you can fall pregnant.
Speaker 3: It's so there's always that little rest, there's always that
Speaker 3: little niggle. And something I will say though, is on
Speaker 3: the day that I knew Kurt was getting it done,
Speaker 3: it does bring up those feelings of being like this
Speaker 3: is actually yes. So I did have that little bit
Speaker 3: of an emotional like I was so fine. I didn't
Speaker 3: cry or anything, but I was just kind of like, oh,
Speaker 3: like those were the best days of our life. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and I'm so glad we got them as amazing, but
Speaker 3: it's kind of like going like it's not going to
Speaker 3: happen again.
Speaker 1: Closing, Yeah, a whole new phase. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So there's not one part of me that was like
Speaker 3: I don't want to do this and I don't feel
Speaker 3: like this isn't the right choice. But it was just
Speaker 3: like I think, no matter what, it's always just feels like,
Speaker 3: oh that's it, Like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I still have micro moments where I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can't We're going to get to experience this again,
Speaker 1: like with Tiler being such a cute age, yes, and
Speaker 1: she's like starting to string your words together and she
Speaker 1: sprints when you walk in the door to you and
Speaker 1: just like so cute and always say this if like
Speaker 1: it's really sad, this is last time. So I had
Speaker 1: those moments too, But.
Speaker 3: Then you have a hard day and like not fuck
Speaker 3: that even the stuff going on, like actually knows the
Speaker 3: depth of what I've kind of been going through at
Speaker 3: the moment. But we've been going to doctor between two
Speaker 3: of our kids, doctor's appointments, pediatrician appoinments. Then you've got
Speaker 3: the after school activities and you know, it's a whole lot.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I just don't think I would be
Speaker 3: proud of the mother that I was if I had
Speaker 3: any more kids. And I want to give everything I
Speaker 3: can to my kids, you know, so lucky to have.
Speaker 1: Them, so lucky. Yeah, I feel very content as well.
Speaker 3: Oh go Curti, it's done, Go Curti or done all
Speaker 3: that's really cool.
Speaker 1: I'm glad to let you share that story. And hotually
Speaker 1: inspires some other men to go and get it because
Speaker 1: we were talking about I haven't told you too, You
Speaker 1: know how you were going through a phase where you
Speaker 1: were thinking about getting a hysterectomy or like something burnt.
Speaker 3: Yes, your periods.
Speaker 1: My mom's had an hysterect me. Yeah, and so has
Speaker 1: the Dean's mum. And my mum speaks so highly, but
Speaker 1: she's like, it is the best thing I ever did
Speaker 1: for myself. She used to get like you. She couldn't
Speaker 1: even walk out of the toilet, like with a power ten,
Speaker 1: and it would be like flooding, like it's very graphic.
Speaker 1: But most of our listeners are females, like heavy periods,
Speaker 1: really bad mood swings, so tired, super bad headaches, like
Speaker 1: every symptom you can think of. And she got a
Speaker 1: hys direct to me and all in a way, you
Speaker 1: never had any symptoms again. She felt so much happier,
Speaker 1: so much more regulated, like she was it was the
Speaker 1: best thing I ever did for myself. So I have
Speaker 1: kind of had in my head I don't really want
Speaker 1: to have periods for the rest of my life. I
Speaker 1: might not even that bad, but it's annoying.
Speaker 3: Do you go through early menopause right when you get
Speaker 3: the hysterectomy.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I think you do so. I think once she decided
Speaker 3: to get that, you would have a period of however
Speaker 3: long to navigate that. But if you had the space
Speaker 3: for it and you knew it was coming.
Speaker 1: I don't think my mom had that really. I even
Speaker 1: asked her about menopause and she's like, well, I've never
Speaker 1: had any of those symptoms. Anyways, I went to Levi
Speaker 1: because I was like, I'm gonna say to you, what
Speaker 1: are the cons It's got to be something.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I looked at him and I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: was talking to my girlfriend about his directed me my
Speaker 1: mum's had one. And the look on his face, Wow
Speaker 1: said it all. He was like, please promise me you
Speaker 1: will never get one of those. Like there is so
Speaker 1: many I'm going to butcher the way he said it.
Speaker 1: But with a woman's body, there's just so many hormones
Speaker 1: and like receptors and like messages and like the way
Speaker 1: it all flows together. He's like, you're completely going against
Speaker 1: everything natural that your body is supposed to be doing.
Speaker 1: You were ripping that out of your body and it
Speaker 1: cannot function.
Speaker 3: Well, apparently it can like lower your sex drive and stuff.
Speaker 1: Like that maybe probably yeah, But he was like he
Speaker 1: hasn't got the snip either yet, but he was like,
Speaker 1: this is something that men should be doing if like
Speaker 1: you don't want to have any more children. He's like,
Speaker 1: do not touch it. That's not meant to be removed.
Speaker 1: So I was like, oh, yeah, I had it in
Speaker 1: my head that I will get it done because my
Speaker 1: mum just felt so good from it.
Speaker 3: It's always pros and cons to everything, Yeah, And I
Speaker 3: always think, like, you know, it's even what I say
Speaker 3: all the time is like with my period, Yeah, like
Speaker 3: there's obviously other things going on there, and even like
Speaker 3: a lot of the things I've been doing lately, I've
Speaker 3: been learning about my womb healing. I feel like it's
Speaker 3: all coming from probably that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a short in that. It actually came up
Speaker 1: in conversation because we were talking about your periods. You
Speaker 1: told him a little bit about what was going on
Speaker 1: with your family and all of your stress, and he
Speaker 1: was like, of course she had those bad periods. She's
Speaker 1: just gone through something so traumatic in her life with
Speaker 1: her family that was dragged on for so long. Her
Speaker 1: body was in complete fight or flight. She was stressed.
Speaker 1: Twenty four seven. Those symptoms are responding to that stress. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and now she's regulating and she's doing things that help
Speaker 1: her body recover better. Of course the periods have gotten better. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, of course, yeah,
Speaker 1: it makes so much Yeah, it makes so much sense.
Speaker 1: You've got so much in place. But you also like
Speaker 1: your body feels safe now because back then, like you
Speaker 1: were so so bad anxious, upset, like just going through it.
Speaker 3: You know, I really intrigued to try my first one
Speaker 3: without medication. So when your last month, we'll hear, and
Speaker 3: then I was gonna do it this month, but I'll
Speaker 3: wait and see when we get back, because if it
Speaker 3: hasn't come by the time I go home, I'm just
Speaker 3: gonna let it do it. Seeing I want to see
Speaker 3: what happens, because want to see where it's at.
Speaker 1: Because you've still been knowing your saunas and you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because mine was so severe that I was
Speaker 3: literally like passing out. So as long as I'm not
Speaker 3: like that, yeah, I don't care about like if I
Speaker 3: if I know I have to have like one day
Speaker 3: at home and I'm real bad or whatever, I can
Speaker 3: try to work around that. If it's one day yeah,
Speaker 3: but it might be be That's what I mean. I've
Speaker 3: just got to see where it's at now.
Speaker 1: And each month might be so different too. Like I
Speaker 1: feel like if I've had months we'reing way busier at
Speaker 1: work or more stressed about something, yeah, I have more
Speaker 1: elevated symptoms. But then if I've got a cruisy month,
Speaker 1: like it's just like I don't even notice, I'm like
Speaker 1: start bleeding. I'm like, oh shit, my period.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And Kurt says it to me too, He said
Speaker 3: to me, Actually, he goes, I think you might have
Speaker 3: a bit of a not great one this month because
Speaker 3: of the stress of the kids. You're just so emotionally
Speaker 3: plunge in that when your kids aren't happy, all this
Speaker 3: thing's going on, you just.
Speaker 1: It's for me stress. Yeah, emotional stress is like one
Speaker 1: of the worst, so hard.
Speaker 3: It'll be interesting, but I'll let you guys know how
Speaker 3: it goes the first time.
Speaker 1: But it's all and around. You've done so well to
Speaker 1: take it from where it was to where it is now.
Speaker 1: And that's a credit to the work that you've done emotionally,
Speaker 1: mentally and physically daily consciously making choices that serve you.
Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, because you could have just gone I
Speaker 1: got to his direct me or got it burned or whatever.
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying not like some people. If that's
Speaker 1: what you've got to do, that's what you've gotta do.
Speaker 1: I encourage invite everyone to try a holistic way first. Definitely,
Speaker 1: it's much more kinder on your body. Yeah, and you
Speaker 1: did that, and if you've got an awesome outcome so far.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm interested as well. I told Ashley, I've just
Speaker 3: done some genetic testing and even just I'm so intrigued
Speaker 3: to see because there's anaturopath that's looking at it with
Speaker 3: me as well. Yeah, like what she has to say,
Speaker 3: and like see if there's things I can help with
Speaker 3: that le as well. So good, Yeah, awesome.
Speaker 1: Alright, guys, thanks for joining us. Don't forget every single Friday,
Speaker 1: we do have a little bonus episode. It's where our
Speaker 1: producer actually out like one of the best bits of
Speaker 1: a previous episode. So you might have heard it already
Speaker 1: or maybe you missed that episode, but it'll be like
Speaker 1: a bite sized chunk of just like a key takeaway. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So if you don't have much time or you're quickly
Speaker 1: jumping in the car and you want a little pick
Speaker 1: me up. Tune into our Friday episode when you drink
Speaker 1: your makeup.
Speaker 3: That's a great one for and you're getting ready in
Speaker 3: the morning because it only takes ten minutes to get
Speaker 3: yourself freight out.
Speaker 1: Yeah. We mentioned a little while ago, but we have
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Speaker 1: Yeah, so cool. Thanks guys, We'll see Friday see you then,
Speaker 1: Bye bye