1
00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281
Speaker 1: Appogie production.

2
00:00:11,081 --> 00:00:15,601
Speaker 2: Ooh if she rises. Twelve Days of Christmas.

3
00:00:15,401 --> 00:00:20,241
Speaker 1: Oh Ho Ho Mary, I wish I could sing I

4
00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:23,281
Speaker 1: love Christmas carols. Oh we should do it. No, you

5
00:00:23,281 --> 00:00:25,841
Speaker 1: guys don't want to hear me sing anyways. Welcome back

6
00:00:25,881 --> 00:00:28,761
Speaker 1: to twelve Days of Christmas. We are halfway day six oh,

7
00:00:29,201 --> 00:00:33,121
Speaker 1: and today's title is ho ho no no, no no no.

8
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:38,321
Speaker 1: During the line with family this Christmas. It's tough with family,

9
00:00:38,361 --> 00:00:40,201
Speaker 1: isn't it? Because I feel like a lot of families

10
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,481
Speaker 1: are brought up like blood is blood and you stick

11
00:00:42,521 --> 00:00:44,281
Speaker 1: by them no matter what. But I just have a

12
00:00:44,321 --> 00:00:46,280
Speaker 1: different opinion to that. I just don't believe it is.

13
00:00:46,321 --> 00:00:48,520
Speaker 1: If someone's not aligned with you or they're not respecting you,

14
00:00:48,521 --> 00:00:51,361
Speaker 1: you're allowed to have boundaries in place. But around Christmas,

15
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,841
Speaker 1: there's this extra pressure to make everyone happy and to

16
00:00:54,881 --> 00:00:57,560
Speaker 1: do what everyone wants and bring everyone together, and at

17
00:00:57,561 --> 00:01:00,721
Speaker 1: cost of your peace, a cost of the awkwardness, a

18
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:04,121
Speaker 1: cost of you feeling uncomfortable, and your whole Christmas day

19
00:01:04,161 --> 00:01:05,840
Speaker 1: is ruined because you're just trying to make everyone else

20
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:06,761
Speaker 1: happy and keep the peace.

21
00:01:07,281 --> 00:01:09,520
Speaker 2: No, thank you, absolutely, Oh no.

22
00:01:09,681 --> 00:01:12,001
Speaker 1: I remember my Christmas are pretty small these days, and

23
00:01:12,041 --> 00:01:14,161
Speaker 1: my house is normally their house where everyone comes to

24
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,560
Speaker 1: people that don't have family around. So though his mum's

25
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,000
Speaker 1: in Germany and makes his families in Perth and Megan

26
00:01:19,081 --> 00:01:21,200
Speaker 1: Jared came around last year because their families and adelaide,

27
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:22,761
Speaker 1: so our house is kind of the house where everyone

28
00:01:22,761 --> 00:01:26,321
Speaker 1: comes to. But growing up, I don't know, I just

29
00:01:26,321 --> 00:01:28,840
Speaker 1: didn't really love Christmas with my stepdad. I don't know.

30
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,401
Speaker 1: We always feel like we were too much. He was

31
00:01:30,401 --> 00:01:33,440
Speaker 1: more worried about the mess over the memories. We were

32
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,001
Speaker 1: too loud. It was like you were not grateful enough.

33
00:01:36,041 --> 00:01:37,641
Speaker 1: There was still the list of chores to do. It

34
00:01:37,721 --> 00:01:40,441
Speaker 1: just was not fun as a kid. So I remember

35
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:41,961
Speaker 1: once I got to a certain age, was in my

36
00:01:42,081 --> 00:01:44,640
Speaker 1: teen years, and my parents would always have a mid

37
00:01:44,681 --> 00:01:46,641
Speaker 1: day nap at Christmas, as you do and judgment. I

38
00:01:46,681 --> 00:01:48,681
Speaker 1: love a good nap. I love that cut with small

39
00:01:48,721 --> 00:01:50,921
Speaker 1: kids now. But I got to a certain age where

40
00:01:50,961 --> 00:01:52,321
Speaker 1: I go for the nap then I'll fuck off to

41
00:01:52,361 --> 00:01:54,201
Speaker 1: my friend's house. I'm like, no way, I'm going to

42
00:01:54,241 --> 00:01:56,041
Speaker 1: sit here and just be bored out of my brains

43
00:01:56,641 --> 00:01:58,161
Speaker 1: and wait for you to get up and start yelling

44
00:01:58,161 --> 00:02:00,121
Speaker 1: at me again for whatever reason. Yeah, I want to

45
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:01,801
Speaker 1: go to my friend's house, and it just felt so

46
00:02:01,921 --> 00:02:03,921
Speaker 1: nice to be an environment whereas it was about the

47
00:02:03,961 --> 00:02:08,241
Speaker 1: memories and fun, joy and just being together. And yeah.

48
00:02:08,321 --> 00:02:10,001
Speaker 1: Then I got kicked out at home when I was sixteen,

49
00:02:10,201 --> 00:02:11,960
Speaker 1: and there was a little period there where I wasn't

50
00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:13,601
Speaker 1: talking to my mum because she was still with him,

51
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:14,801
Speaker 1: and I just didn't want to go back home because

52
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,281
Speaker 1: he was scary. And it was so nice for me

53
00:02:17,321 --> 00:02:19,201
Speaker 1: to put that boundary and just say, no, I don't

54
00:02:19,201 --> 00:02:20,680
Speaker 1: actually go I have to go around there for Christmas.

55
00:02:20,721 --> 00:02:23,440
Speaker 1: I'm going to stay here with my partner's family where

56
00:02:23,441 --> 00:02:26,000
Speaker 1: I feel safe, I feel welcomed, there's no pressure, and

57
00:02:26,041 --> 00:02:28,201
Speaker 1: I just get to eat and chill and we open

58
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,081
Speaker 1: our presents and we just hang out and listen to music.

59
00:02:30,121 --> 00:02:32,041
Speaker 1: And it was so nice. So I just like, we

60
00:02:32,081 --> 00:02:34,241
Speaker 1: wanted to bring this in today because I know a

61
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,321
Speaker 1: lot of you listening will be feeling pressure to show

62
00:02:36,441 --> 00:02:38,361
Speaker 1: up and to be a certain way and ort to

63
00:02:38,361 --> 00:02:40,721
Speaker 1: spend lots of money on all the food and go

64
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,680
Speaker 1: get the prawns at fucking three am in the morning.

65
00:02:42,881 --> 00:02:45,121
Speaker 1: You don't want to do that, you don't have to

66
00:02:45,161 --> 00:02:47,761
Speaker 1: do that. You can say, actually, no, I'm not going

67
00:02:47,841 --> 00:02:49,201
Speaker 1: to do that this year. You want to go get

68
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,441
Speaker 1: your prawns, go for it. Like you're allowed to put

69
00:02:51,481 --> 00:02:53,921
Speaker 1: boundaries in place, even with family, because at the end

70
00:02:53,921 --> 00:02:55,561
Speaker 1: of the day, like you have to put yourself first.

71
00:02:55,561 --> 00:02:57,560
Speaker 1: No one else is going to You have to take

72
00:02:57,601 --> 00:02:58,601
Speaker 1: care of you. Yeah.

73
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,641
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Oh it's so interesting as well. You're right, there

74
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,481
Speaker 2: is an additional pressure around Christmas because there's the pressure

75
00:03:04,481 --> 00:03:06,081
Speaker 2: of like, oh, Christmas family time.

76
00:03:06,281 --> 00:03:06,561
Speaker 1: Yeah.

77
00:03:06,601 --> 00:03:08,361
Speaker 2: But then it's like if you haven't been building a

78
00:03:08,401 --> 00:03:10,401
Speaker 2: relationship with your family for the last twelve months and

79
00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:12,800
Speaker 2: Christmas comes around, why the fuck is anything any different.

80
00:03:12,841 --> 00:03:14,641
Speaker 1: It's like weddings. Why are you inviting all your third

81
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:15,881
Speaker 1: cousins that you've never met in your life.

82
00:03:15,921 --> 00:03:17,560
Speaker 2: You don't even I haven't even seen them in fifteen years.

83
00:03:17,921 --> 00:03:20,601
Speaker 1: You don't even like them, but you're gonna pay for

84
00:03:20,641 --> 00:03:22,921
Speaker 1: them to have a seat and watch the most special

85
00:03:23,281 --> 00:03:24,241
Speaker 1: day of your life.

86
00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:26,601
Speaker 2: Nahn, Mine's gonna be an intimate wedding, I.

87
00:03:26,601 --> 00:03:28,161
Speaker 1: Tell you right now, Yeah, one hundred percent. Yeah.

88
00:03:28,561 --> 00:03:30,520
Speaker 2: I mean growing up, I feel like my experience of

89
00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:32,961
Speaker 2: Christmas was a better one. Like I felt like it

90
00:03:33,001 --> 00:03:35,281
Speaker 2: was a good experience. I loved Christmas, and because there

91
00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:37,001
Speaker 2: were so many of us like they were. It was

92
00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:38,841
Speaker 2: always something to do, and there was always so much

93
00:03:38,881 --> 00:03:41,081
Speaker 2: just play, so many people around and all of the things.

94
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:43,761
Speaker 2: So my parents really I feel like they really did

95
00:03:43,761 --> 00:03:45,961
Speaker 2: the best they could all the time to go above

96
00:03:45,961 --> 00:03:48,201
Speaker 2: and beyond for us for Christmas, which is so nice.

97
00:03:48,481 --> 00:03:50,521
Speaker 2: Then I think as I got older, and like obviously

98
00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:53,921
Speaker 2: all of me and my siblings, we all grow and change,

99
00:03:54,081 --> 00:03:56,121
Speaker 2: and you know, there were periods of time where like

100
00:03:56,281 --> 00:03:59,081
Speaker 2: there's two of my sisters where we both didn't talk

101
00:03:59,081 --> 00:04:01,241
Speaker 2: for either six years or twelve years, do you know

102
00:04:01,281 --> 00:04:02,521
Speaker 2: what I mean. So it's like, you know, as you

103
00:04:02,521 --> 00:04:05,961
Speaker 2: grow up, like not everyone stays as intertwined is what

104
00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:08,161
Speaker 2: you would like, you know. And so like if you're

105
00:04:08,321 --> 00:04:10,281
Speaker 2: listening and maybe you're you know, in an argument with

106
00:04:10,281 --> 00:04:12,561
Speaker 2: a sibling, or you know, the dynamic is off where

107
00:04:12,561 --> 00:04:15,121
Speaker 2: you're not talking to your mom, or there's moments around

108
00:04:15,201 --> 00:04:18,121
Speaker 2: when Christmas comes around, how confronting that can feel to

109
00:04:18,161 --> 00:04:19,961
Speaker 2: be like why aren't we the way that we used

110
00:04:20,001 --> 00:04:21,921
Speaker 2: to be yea, or why don't we have the relationship

111
00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:23,640
Speaker 2: that we used to because I miss that.

112
00:04:24,001 --> 00:04:25,161
Speaker 1: You know, I have to go back to that.

113
00:04:25,401 --> 00:04:28,361
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I think that sometimes can feel Christmas

114
00:04:28,361 --> 00:04:30,321
Speaker 2: can be one of those moments where it brings up

115
00:04:30,361 --> 00:04:32,400
Speaker 2: a lot of stuff that kind of sits there underneath

116
00:04:32,401 --> 00:04:35,801
Speaker 2: the surface, especially when you're not in a good relationship

117
00:04:35,801 --> 00:04:37,921
Speaker 2: with someone that you love. And that's where I feel

118
00:04:37,961 --> 00:04:40,161
Speaker 2: like the pressure also comes into is like let's say

119
00:04:40,201 --> 00:04:42,761
Speaker 2: if your grandparents host Christmas, then you're expected to all

120
00:04:42,761 --> 00:04:44,440
Speaker 2: go sit in a room and you haven't spoken for

121
00:04:44,481 --> 00:04:46,201
Speaker 2: six months, and you're like, oh my god, this is so.

122
00:04:46,241 --> 00:04:47,441
Speaker 1: Awkward, like what do we do?

123
00:04:47,961 --> 00:04:50,241
Speaker 2: And I think there have definitely been times because I

124
00:04:50,281 --> 00:04:52,801
Speaker 2: have a big family, like between me and then my

125
00:04:53,081 --> 00:04:54,841
Speaker 2: mom is one of like seven or something like that,

126
00:04:55,481 --> 00:04:58,201
Speaker 2: I'm one of five and there's just kids everywhere, and

127
00:04:58,241 --> 00:05:01,080
Speaker 2: I remember even there being like family TIFFs between like

128
00:05:01,121 --> 00:05:02,801
Speaker 2: the uncles and things like that, are being like, well,

129
00:05:02,841 --> 00:05:04,641
Speaker 2: they haven't spoken and they're not happy with each other,

130
00:05:05,081 --> 00:05:07,721
Speaker 2: the all being forced into this room together, and everyone's

131
00:05:07,761 --> 00:05:10,720
Speaker 2: just like this is fucking awkward ass And everyone's like, Okay,

132
00:05:10,761 --> 00:05:13,440
Speaker 2: do we get frunt now because this is weird? Yeah?

133
00:05:13,601 --> 00:05:14,440
Speaker 1: You know. Yeah.

134
00:05:14,641 --> 00:05:15,961
Speaker 2: But I think, like I want to give like an

135
00:05:15,961 --> 00:05:19,320
Speaker 2: example of like family pressure. It's not necessarily to do

136
00:05:19,401 --> 00:05:21,401
Speaker 2: with Christmas, but like I feel like my parents of

137
00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:24,721
Speaker 2: my mum, especially my mom and my nanna especially have

138
00:05:24,801 --> 00:05:27,481
Speaker 2: been and say the narrative of like many hands make

139
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:29,841
Speaker 2: light work. Yeah, And I think I've mentioned this once before,

140
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,320
Speaker 2: but it's something that's always been like because there's always

141
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,561
Speaker 2: so many of us, like more hands are always so

142
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:36,801
Speaker 2: helpful for their weight. Yeah, everyone pulled their weight, and

143
00:05:36,841 --> 00:05:38,320
Speaker 2: we were always taught that from a young age, Like

144
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,520
Speaker 2: I was doing washing from like fucking six, I don't

145
00:05:40,521 --> 00:05:42,161
Speaker 2: even know how old I was, Like we were always

146
00:05:42,161 --> 00:05:44,801
Speaker 2: helping out. And I think as I've become an adult

147
00:05:44,841 --> 00:05:47,241
Speaker 2: now as well, like there are things and boundaries that

148
00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:49,321
Speaker 2: I have that like maybe my mom doesn't agree with,

149
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,641
Speaker 2: but because I have like my own life as well,

150
00:05:51,681 --> 00:05:53,681
Speaker 2: in my business and all the things, it's like I've

151
00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:56,721
Speaker 2: had to start setting more boundaries. And so it's interesting.

152
00:05:56,761 --> 00:05:59,080
Speaker 2: I feel like this makes shore for you around Christmas

153
00:05:59,081 --> 00:06:01,481
Speaker 2: time or maybe even just all throughout the year, where

154
00:06:01,521 --> 00:06:05,041
Speaker 2: you're not honoring yourself in what you want simply because

155
00:06:05,161 --> 00:06:06,681
Speaker 2: you feel like you need to please the people that

156
00:06:06,721 --> 00:06:09,841
Speaker 2: you're around. And so with my mum, especially, like I've

157
00:06:09,841 --> 00:06:12,281
Speaker 2: went through this period where we actually didn't talk all

158
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,761
Speaker 2: that much for like a year and a half two

159
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,561
Speaker 2: years because I was really stepping into my independence and

160
00:06:16,601 --> 00:06:18,681
Speaker 2: I was really clashing with her because she was like

161
00:06:18,721 --> 00:06:21,241
Speaker 2: will Tiana, many hands make light work. And so it

162
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:26,361
Speaker 2: was always expected every family holiday, every birthday, every you know,

163
00:06:26,481 --> 00:06:29,641
Speaker 2: somebody moving, Like if my fucking third uncle moved or

164
00:06:29,921 --> 00:06:31,561
Speaker 2: with third cousin moved, we would have to help.

165
00:06:31,601 --> 00:06:33,721
Speaker 1: Oh, everyone's expected to jump in and help pack for.

166
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:36,361
Speaker 2: Like four days, right, you know, and like that was

167
00:06:36,401 --> 00:06:38,721
Speaker 2: just something. As I got older, I was like, fuck this, no,

168
00:06:39,721 --> 00:06:40,880
Speaker 2: I have to I've also got a.

169
00:06:40,961 --> 00:06:41,601
Speaker 1: Business in life.

170
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:43,001
Speaker 2: I've got to go to work and do all these things.

171
00:06:43,001 --> 00:06:45,361
Speaker 2: And I understand, like, don't get me wrong, I want

172
00:06:45,401 --> 00:06:47,001
Speaker 2: to be able to help, But do I want to

173
00:06:47,001 --> 00:06:48,161
Speaker 2: give up four days of my time?

174
00:06:48,281 --> 00:06:51,041
Speaker 1: Absolutely fucking not. You know. I think if you use

175
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,241
Speaker 1: this example before, like instead of going to pack your

176
00:06:53,241 --> 00:06:56,200
Speaker 1: boardevery one lunch, so yeah, contributed it, yeah, slave away

177
00:06:56,201 --> 00:06:57,361
Speaker 1: for four days? Yeah? Absolutely.

178
00:06:57,361 --> 00:06:59,801
Speaker 2: It was like finding ways that you can contribute that

179
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,281
Speaker 2: aren't going to put you out now. Say, for example,

180
00:07:02,281 --> 00:07:04,440
Speaker 2: this has shown up around Christmas too, where it's like, okay,

181
00:07:04,521 --> 00:07:07,281
Speaker 2: we've got a the food we're hosting Christmas, We're cooking

182
00:07:07,281 --> 00:07:08,441
Speaker 2: all the food, and I'm like I don't want to

183
00:07:08,481 --> 00:07:12,121
Speaker 2: fucking do that. So I'm like, Okay, I'll go buy this, this, this, this,

184
00:07:12,321 --> 00:07:14,401
Speaker 2: and I'll contribute that. But like, I'm not going to

185
00:07:14,441 --> 00:07:16,921
Speaker 2: sit slaboring over the kitchen while everybody else is having

186
00:07:16,961 --> 00:07:18,001
Speaker 2: a great Christmas, like no.

187
00:07:18,041 --> 00:07:20,921
Speaker 1: Offense, but like cater at that year.

188
00:07:21,081 --> 00:07:22,801
Speaker 2: I was so strong in my no that I was like,

189
00:07:22,801 --> 00:07:24,721
Speaker 2: this doesn't feel good for me. But then the year

190
00:07:24,721 --> 00:07:25,921
Speaker 2: after that, I was like, you know what, I fucking

191
00:07:25,921 --> 00:07:27,280
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm in a nurturing energy.

192
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:29,201
Speaker 1: I want to do this this year cook, you know.

193
00:07:29,441 --> 00:07:32,401
Speaker 2: So it's just like learning where your boundaries lie, and

194
00:07:32,441 --> 00:07:34,561
Speaker 2: it's really just paying attention to like wear the line

195
00:07:34,601 --> 00:07:36,961
Speaker 2: where it starts to feel really really good versus where

196
00:07:36,961 --> 00:07:37,801
Speaker 2: it starts to feel.

197
00:07:37,601 --> 00:07:38,761
Speaker 1: Really really key. Yeah.

198
00:07:38,841 --> 00:07:41,641
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that might even apply to you if you

199
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,241
Speaker 2: don't want to go somewhere for Christmas, you don't want

200
00:07:44,241 --> 00:07:46,041
Speaker 2: to go spend time in a room with someone that

201
00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:48,681
Speaker 2: you've been arguing with or fighting with for however long enough,

202
00:07:48,961 --> 00:07:51,081
Speaker 2: or maybe there's always these expectations of you, you always

203
00:07:51,081 --> 00:07:52,481
Speaker 2: have to give your time up and it just is

204
00:07:52,521 --> 00:07:53,641
Speaker 2: no longer feeling good for you.

205
00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:55,921
Speaker 1: You're allowed to put your foot down absolutely you're allowed

206
00:07:55,961 --> 00:07:58,641
Speaker 1: to say no, absolutely yeah, and that whole Let them through,

207
00:07:58,721 --> 00:08:00,561
Speaker 1: let them be disappointed, let them be upset, let them

208
00:08:00,561 --> 00:08:02,961
Speaker 1: make up assumptions about you. Just let them.

209
00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:05,001
Speaker 2: The biggest thing with this, I feel like with family,

210
00:08:05,241 --> 00:08:08,321
Speaker 2: it's hard to if it's not willingly taught, it's hard

211
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,681
Speaker 2: to step into your individuality, especially when you come from

212
00:08:11,721 --> 00:08:12,521
Speaker 2: a big family, like.

213
00:08:12,481 --> 00:08:14,401
Speaker 1: Minds expectations that everyone does the same thing.

214
00:08:14,441 --> 00:08:16,561
Speaker 2: We all do it, we move as one unit, we

215
00:08:16,601 --> 00:08:18,601
Speaker 2: think the same, we move the same, we have the

216
00:08:18,601 --> 00:08:20,961
Speaker 2: same beliefs on everything, And so when you step outside

217
00:08:20,961 --> 00:08:22,121
Speaker 2: of it, that's like, what do you I.

218
00:08:22,121 --> 00:08:23,881
Speaker 1: Have an experience that because it's such a small family,

219
00:08:24,201 --> 00:08:25,041
Speaker 1: I can see.

220
00:08:24,801 --> 00:08:27,521
Speaker 2: How that would play out absolutely, And like when you're

221
00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:29,641
Speaker 2: such a tight knit community and like you're trying to

222
00:08:29,641 --> 00:08:31,361
Speaker 2: like move all as one and then one person's like

223
00:08:31,481 --> 00:08:34,441
Speaker 2: conflicting in that, it's like it creates conflict. So it's

224
00:08:34,441 --> 00:08:37,361
Speaker 2: like I feel like moments like this and Christmas especially,

225
00:08:37,881 --> 00:08:40,881
Speaker 2: is a really cool moment for you to really understand,

226
00:08:41,081 --> 00:08:42,921
Speaker 2: like how to step into your individuality?

227
00:08:43,161 --> 00:08:43,961
Speaker 1: What does that look like?

228
00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:47,001
Speaker 2: What do you think, what do you believe? What traditions

229
00:08:47,041 --> 00:08:49,481
Speaker 2: do you want for Christmas? Like, how do you want

230
00:08:49,481 --> 00:08:52,161
Speaker 2: this experience of a Christmas to be when it comes

231
00:08:52,201 --> 00:08:54,081
Speaker 2: to the people that you love and the connections you make,

232
00:08:54,121 --> 00:08:56,761
Speaker 2: and how you want to show up within those connections.

233
00:08:57,241 --> 00:08:59,761
Speaker 2: I think that's been a huge thing for me as

234
00:08:59,761 --> 00:09:02,601
Speaker 2: a woman who always felt like I couldn't do anything

235
00:09:02,681 --> 00:09:03,681
Speaker 2: without my family unit.

236
00:09:03,921 --> 00:09:05,281
Speaker 1: Yeah, like all my dad.

237
00:09:05,521 --> 00:09:07,401
Speaker 2: Like I literally felt like I couldn't do anything on

238
00:09:07,401 --> 00:09:09,481
Speaker 2: my own, couldn't go out on my own, couldn't spread

239
00:09:09,521 --> 00:09:12,121
Speaker 2: my own wings. Until I've forced myself to do that,

240
00:09:12,481 --> 00:09:14,841
Speaker 2: step into my individuality and go like, oh my god,

241
00:09:14,881 --> 00:09:16,161
Speaker 2: I can actually think for myself.

242
00:09:16,361 --> 00:09:18,561
Speaker 1: I can speak for myself. Yeah. The question is is

243
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,521
Speaker 1: Christmas at your house? And are you hosting? Absolutely? Let's

244
00:09:21,521 --> 00:09:24,921
Speaker 1: fucking go happy for it. Yeah yeah, yeah, in your

245
00:09:25,001 --> 00:09:27,881
Speaker 1: nurturing energy this year. I am in my energy this year. Yeah,

246
00:09:27,881 --> 00:09:29,721
Speaker 1: you're not hosting, but we also.

247
00:09:29,561 --> 00:09:30,721
Speaker 2: I don't know, like mom and Dad an't going to

248
00:09:30,761 --> 00:09:32,201
Speaker 2: be here this Christmas. They're going to be in BALI

249
00:09:32,721 --> 00:09:34,201
Speaker 2: I think Nick's coming up over Christmas.

250
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,081
Speaker 1: Actually you don't find brother? Yeah, I love him.

251
00:09:36,121 --> 00:09:36,841
Speaker 2: It's my little faith.

252
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:40,361
Speaker 1: So you're hosting, yeah, Like Meghan Jared will be in Adelaide,

253
00:09:40,921 --> 00:09:43,481
Speaker 1: Megsie and Thor will be in Perth. Oh wow, be

254
00:09:43,561 --> 00:09:46,241
Speaker 1: Quie Christy this year combine ours? Oh my god? Done?

255
00:09:47,001 --> 00:09:49,961
Speaker 1: Have we not planned this already? No, anything's happening by yes,

256
00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:51,721
Speaker 1: seriously done? That'd be cool.

257
00:09:51,801 --> 00:09:53,601
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, we're gonna plan this after this episode.

258
00:09:53,641 --> 00:09:57,441
Speaker 1: Yeah done. Oh I hope you guys enjoyed this and

259
00:09:57,641 --> 00:09:59,241
Speaker 1: just every episode we're doing. We want you to have

260
00:09:59,361 --> 00:10:02,161
Speaker 1: massive self reflection. Don't just push this and then go

261
00:10:02,241 --> 00:10:04,081
Speaker 1: about your day. Actually sit down and go, Wow, what

262
00:10:04,121 --> 00:10:06,041
Speaker 1: come up for me there? How is this playing out

263
00:10:06,081 --> 00:10:07,801
Speaker 1: in my family dynamic? Does this feel good for me?

264
00:10:08,081 --> 00:10:10,561
Speaker 1: Maybe I might do things differently this year? And you

265
00:10:10,601 --> 00:10:12,441
Speaker 1: have full permission to do that. You're a grown ass

266
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:14,081
Speaker 1: adult yourself first.

267
00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:17,041
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and on the boundary front as well. If you

268
00:10:17,041 --> 00:10:20,121
Speaker 2: feel a bit overwhelmed, to be confused, just write it down. Yes,

269
00:10:20,401 --> 00:10:23,161
Speaker 2: what is happening right now in your family dynamic? What's

270
00:10:23,201 --> 00:10:25,881
Speaker 2: not feeling good? What do you either want to speak

271
00:10:25,881 --> 00:10:27,801
Speaker 2: to or what do you want to just like completely

272
00:10:27,841 --> 00:10:30,201
Speaker 2: remove yourself entirely. And I just want to remind you

273
00:10:30,241 --> 00:10:33,201
Speaker 2: as well, like I'm not condoning like taking time from

274
00:10:33,201 --> 00:10:35,081
Speaker 2: your family and all the things, but like if you're

275
00:10:35,081 --> 00:10:37,241
Speaker 2: at a point in your life within your dynamics where

276
00:10:37,241 --> 00:10:39,641
Speaker 2: you feel like you need space, honor that. Yeah, it's

277
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,401
Speaker 2: okay to want that. It doesn't mean that you're going

278
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,801
Speaker 2: to have space from them forever. It just means whatever

279
00:10:43,841 --> 00:10:45,641
Speaker 2: it is that you're moving through right now, you need

280
00:10:45,641 --> 00:10:47,601
Speaker 2: a little bit of space, and that's okay because you'll

281
00:10:47,641 --> 00:10:48,721
Speaker 2: likely always come back.

282
00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:51,641
Speaker 1: And if you're thinking you would like something different, like

283
00:10:51,721 --> 00:10:53,961
Speaker 1: maybe there's four other family members that are also feeling

284
00:10:54,041 --> 00:10:55,561
Speaker 1: like this, So if you like put in the group chap,

285
00:10:55,601 --> 00:10:57,721
Speaker 1: be like, hey, this year, could we do this instead

286
00:10:57,721 --> 00:11:00,001
Speaker 1: of what we did last year? You might be surprised,

287
00:11:00,121 --> 00:11:01,841
Speaker 1: might be like, oh my gosh, yes, a sleep in,

288
00:11:02,281 --> 00:11:05,321
Speaker 1: don't rush beat after lunch or your presence, yeah in

289
00:11:05,401 --> 00:11:08,201
Speaker 1: the afternoon or Boxing day celebration, like they could be

290
00:11:08,241 --> 00:11:10,241
Speaker 1: open for something as well. Switch it out, lead the way,

291
00:11:10,361 --> 00:11:10,801
Speaker 1: switch it up.

292
00:11:10,881 --> 00:11:11,041
Speaker 2: Yeah.

293
00:11:11,081 --> 00:11:12,721
Speaker 1: And if they're not okay with that, that's also okay.

294
00:11:12,761 --> 00:11:14,601
Speaker 1: Like you can be okay with them not being okay

295
00:11:14,601 --> 00:11:15,321
Speaker 1: with what you suggested.

296
00:11:15,401 --> 00:11:17,401
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And if you're feeling like the boundaries are feeling

297
00:11:17,401 --> 00:11:20,481
Speaker 2: a little bit too stretchy, Nope, I'm gonna call you forward.

298
00:11:20,481 --> 00:11:21,041
Speaker 1: Do it anyway.

299
00:11:21,441 --> 00:11:23,601
Speaker 2: But also something that's really fun that is an addition

300
00:11:23,961 --> 00:11:25,161
Speaker 2: do Christmas games.

301
00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:26,721
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so much fun.

302
00:11:26,801 --> 00:11:28,761
Speaker 2: One of my girlfriends introduced it to us when our

303
00:11:28,881 --> 00:11:31,281
Speaker 2: joined Christmas a couple of years ago, and like, I

304
00:11:31,361 --> 00:11:33,521
Speaker 2: literally watched my dad's work a tissue box on his

305
00:11:33,561 --> 00:11:35,561
Speaker 2: bumb to get it to get like a golf ball

306
00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:37,161
Speaker 2: out of it, and it was the funniest thing I've

307
00:11:37,161 --> 00:11:39,521
Speaker 2: ever seen. It's all like it was just so, it

308
00:11:39,561 --> 00:11:42,081
Speaker 2: was such good energy and it really brought like a

309
00:11:42,161 --> 00:11:46,041
Speaker 2: lightheartedness to Christmas. So if Christmas is feeling, for whatever reason,

310
00:11:46,121 --> 00:11:48,041
Speaker 2: a little bit heavy, a little bit like, oh this

311
00:11:48,081 --> 00:11:49,801
Speaker 2: feels a bit stale, I don't want to do this again,

312
00:11:50,241 --> 00:11:50,961
Speaker 2: bring fun.

313
00:11:51,121 --> 00:11:54,161
Speaker 1: Yes, you bring the energy, the game, set the standard.

314
00:11:53,761 --> 00:11:56,841
Speaker 2: Invite everybody up to your level, bring the games, do

315
00:11:56,961 --> 00:11:57,761
Speaker 2: whatever you want to do.

316
00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,721
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be the way that it's always been.

317
00:11:59,921 --> 00:12:01,321
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can create new tradition.

318
00:12:01,441 --> 00:12:04,401
Speaker 1: That's so cool. Yeah I love that. Alright it guys,

319
00:12:04,401 --> 00:12:07,961
Speaker 1: we'll see day seven tomorrow, whole week. That's crazy. Get ready,

320
00:12:08,121 --> 00:12:12,361
Speaker 1: love it. Bye bye,