1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:03,200 Speaker 1: Paul Taylor, Welcome back to the You project, my friend. 2 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:05,920 Speaker 2: Know that we're recording. Thank you for having me. 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 1: Yes, I did nearly get caught. Well, I did no nearly. Court. 4 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 3: I was about to introduce show everyone, and there's this 5 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 3: little thing that you've got to do. I mean, look, 6 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:18,160 Speaker 3: I'm no technical giant, but apparently you've got to press 7 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 3: the button that says record before you start talking on 8 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,600 Speaker 3: a podcast. Usually Melissa or Tiff or someone who's smarter 9 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 3: and better than me does that. But stupidly they gave 10 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,279 Speaker 3: me the control today. But fuckingly fuck we're under way, 11 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 3: we're recording. It's been an interesting time of late on 12 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 3: Planet Taylor. You and I have had a bit of 13 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 3: a chat, like we've chatted on the phone a bit, 14 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 3: but even I don't know all the story. So yeah, 15 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 3: tell us what's been going on for you. 16 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 2: Well, on Monday, the twentieth of January, I had urban 17 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:05,120 Speaker 2: heart surgery to correct day at birth defect what's called 18 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:09,319 Speaker 2: congenital heart defect. And I'm very lucky actually, And I 19 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 2: think the first lesson here is you've got to be 20 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 2: proactive about your health. And fortunately for me, I play 21 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 2: soccer with a cardiologist and one day I was sitting 22 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:21,760 Speaker 2: with him and I said, hey, ma, I want to 23 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 2: get the full mot that's a actually that's a British term. 24 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:30,039 Speaker 2: That's where you get your car all a big lunch. 25 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,119 Speaker 2: I said, what so you know, and he said, look, 26 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 2: come and see me. We'll do the lot. So did everything, basically, 27 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 2: did the stress test of cardiac MRI, all of that, 28 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,039 Speaker 2: and he came back and he, you know, talks about 29 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,479 Speaker 2: the plumbing, the electrics and one other thing. Can't remember, 30 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 2: but anyway, he was going like, your heart's could ship 31 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 2: you very fit. However, you have a bicuspid aortic valve 32 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 2: rather than a tri cuspid aortic valve, and we need 33 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,120 Speaker 2: to do a little bit of investigation. So what that 34 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 2: means is that the aorta that's the main artery, and 35 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:09,920 Speaker 2: so your left centrical pumps blood through that artery to 36 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,079 Speaker 2: the rest of the body in the valve, a one 37 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 2: way valve that's supposed to have three leaves, a tricuspid 38 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 2: mine had two leaves. And what happens over time is 39 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 2: it doesn't shock properly, so as the heart pumps the 40 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:28,600 Speaker 2: blood out, some of it regurgitates back in right, So 41 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:31,080 Speaker 2: they had to do some further investigation and find that 42 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 2: I had significant regurgitation. So this was that you need 43 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 2: to get this done and now now did you but soon? 44 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 2: And I went, let's just do it straight away? 45 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:49,640 Speaker 1: So when when did you? 46 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:49,800 Speaker 4: All? 47 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 2: Right? 48 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 1: So the operation was January twenty? When did you get 49 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: this information? 50 00:02:55,280 --> 00:03:00,519 Speaker 2: I got the information about a year earlier. That's when 51 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 2: we first noticed someone was wrong. I would have done 52 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,120 Speaker 2: the operation quicker, but I went and checked my health 53 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 2: insurance and I was covered for a lot of stuff, 54 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:14,519 Speaker 2: but not aortic valve, not heart valve surgery, and it 55 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 2: would have cost me probably fifty grand, right, so I 56 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 2: had to upgrade my thing and in weigh it for 57 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 2: a year. Look, the reality is there's probably, all in all, 58 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:28,800 Speaker 2: maybe a six month delay, which was fine. But by 59 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:32,920 Speaker 2: the time I ended up getting in my actually surgeon 60 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 2: say to me, your regurgitation level was over fifty percent, right, 61 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 2: which means that I was working on half capacity basically, Yeah, 62 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 2: and what symptoms? 63 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: What symptoms did you have a year ago? And what 64 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: symptoms did you have prior? 65 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 2: Right? So a year ago I had no symptoms whatsoever 66 00:03:54,840 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 2: because my regurgitation was significant but not horrendous. Look, I 67 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 2: reflecting back and probably you know, my fitness had gone. 68 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:11,080 Speaker 2: I was playing soccer, and last year, because Kira was playing, 69 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 2: I was playing over thirty fives, right, and I'm fifty 70 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 2: three now. But because Kira started playing on a Sunday, 71 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 2: I then stopped playing in the and a me and 72 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 2: of mine who was coaching another team, said hey, how 73 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:25,919 Speaker 2: about you come over and play for us on a 74 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,920 Speaker 2: Saturday because I know you're free. We got a lot 75 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 2: of young boys, but they need a couple of old heads, 76 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 2: so me and a tyrone went and played for them. 77 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 2: So that was open the inch, right, So it was 78 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 2: quite interesting playing against the eighteen year olds. But on reflection, 79 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:45,599 Speaker 2: you know what, I really noticed my speed was just gone, 80 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,600 Speaker 2: and that's the first thing to go. But actually I 81 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 2: think the heart had a fur bit to do with 82 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 2: that on reflection, but I didn't really start to notice 83 00:04:56,560 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 2: overtly any symptoms. I'm proved probably November and I'm thinking, 84 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 2: oh yeah, I'm starting to notice my exercise capacity in 85 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 2: December and I'm thinking maybe this is psychosomatic. But certainly January, 86 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 2: whenever I came back from the UK and was going 87 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 2: again the CrossFit, I was. 88 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,839 Speaker 5: Way down, like way dying, and he said, the surgeon 89 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 5: said to me, yeah, your regurgitation was over fifty percent. 90 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 5: Once your regurgitation hit sixty percent or so, you start 91 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,479 Speaker 5: to develop heart failure. 92 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:29,280 Speaker 2: Right. 93 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,599 Speaker 3: I'm not cardiologist, but I'm thinking of block with a 94 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,040 Speaker 3: congenital heart dayfection. 95 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:39,359 Speaker 1: Probably not be sprinting on a soccer field year olds. 96 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:42,160 Speaker 2: So, and it's really interesting because there's a bit of 97 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 2: a trade off. Right. So the first thing I wanted 98 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:49,040 Speaker 2: to do, I actually, let's reflect back, and you know, 99 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:53,040 Speaker 2: some stuff that that I sort of learned was you 100 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 2: got to be careful what you pay attention to, because 101 00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:00,200 Speaker 2: what you pay attention to creates your narrative and your 102 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:06,039 Speaker 2: belief systems. Right. And as whenever my correologist told me 103 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:09,400 Speaker 2: that I had to have open heart chargery, I remember 104 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 2: going out and getting into the car, and I sat 105 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,359 Speaker 2: into the car and the words of Seneca, the stoic 106 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:20,400 Speaker 2: philosopher came to me. I pity the man who has 107 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,839 Speaker 2: not faced adversity, because he has not faced an opponent, 108 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 2: and nobody, not even him, knows what he is capable of. Right. 109 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,359 Speaker 2: So I went straight home and I wrote on my 110 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 2: bathroom mirror worthy opponent, Right, because histoics talk about finding 111 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:43,039 Speaker 2: a worthy opponent to challenge and test you. And I 112 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:46,599 Speaker 2: wrote beside it my training program that I was going 113 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 2: to do to really get myself on tiptop ship. The 114 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 2: other thing that came to mind, I've got a good 115 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:59,480 Speaker 2: a guy called reg Ex, Lieutenant colonel Special Forces for Australia. 116 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:03,239 Speaker 2: He was a very, very senior guy in the First 117 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:06,080 Speaker 2: Iraq War. He was the first Australian to go into 118 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,280 Speaker 2: quit and I remember having a conversation with him and saying, man, 119 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 2: how did you feel? And he said, look, there was 120 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,920 Speaker 2: clearly a bit of anxiety going to warris Is, but 121 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 2: the overwhelming emotion was this perverse sense of excitement because 122 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 2: this is what I trained for. And as I was 123 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 2: driving home that just came into my head and it 124 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 2: just went, this is what I've trained for, and so 125 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 2: I've chose to view it as a challenge. And that's 126 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 2: why I'm saying, you got to be careful what you 127 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 2: pay attention to, because as you know, I'm doing my 128 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 2: paid steel and resilience and particularly something called heartiness and 129 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 2: listened to a lot of Stoic philosophy over the years, 130 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,840 Speaker 2: so straight away, because of all of that input into 131 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 2: my brain. My first instinctual reaction was, this is a 132 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 2: challenge and I need to lean into it, and I 133 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 2: need to embrace my worthy opponent, right, and all sorts 134 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 2: of negativity that come into your head, because obviously there 135 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 2: is some negative stuff that comes into your head. And 136 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 2: the fucking woul is me the whole victim mentality, and 137 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,720 Speaker 2: I just nipped that in the button. Then the other 138 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:19,760 Speaker 2: thing that came to mind straight away was that Carl's 139 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 2: idea from Japanese psychology of arigamama, with things as they are, 140 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 2: what needs to be done. 141 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:31,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, on a level, it's like stimulus response, right, So 142 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 3: there's the thing that happens, and then there's what you 143 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,679 Speaker 3: do about the things that happen. So here's what I 144 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,079 Speaker 3: know now based on what I know now, what am 145 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 3: I going to do now? 146 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 1: Right? It's kind of you know. 147 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 2: It's exactly that. And so from you know, looking at 148 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:47,560 Speaker 2: that negative and you've got to do a bit of 149 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:49,960 Speaker 2: a risk assessment, right, So so I think again, in 150 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:54,559 Speaker 2: my background in helicopters, we always did a thorough risk assessment, 151 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,679 Speaker 2: and I remember from my time in that you know, 152 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 2: what's the likelihood of it happening and what's the impact. 153 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 2: So I did all the research, you know, we decided 154 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,679 Speaker 2: to do something called the Ross procedure. I went and 155 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,679 Speaker 2: saw the surgeon. So he give me the options. Right, 156 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 2: one was mechanical valve and you'd be on warfare and 157 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,199 Speaker 2: blood tinners for the rest of your life. I'm like, 158 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,400 Speaker 2: nah's The other one is a tavvy, which is where 159 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 2: they just go through the thigh and they have this 160 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 2: fucking awesome, this little sort of balloon thing that goes 161 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 2: right up to your aota and they inflate at the 162 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,280 Speaker 2: valve and it pushes your own out of the way, 163 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:33,280 Speaker 2: and there's this like false valve. But he said, look, 164 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 2: you're not going to be able to exercise at maximum 165 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,200 Speaker 2: capacity if you get a tavvy. And the issue is 166 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:41,199 Speaker 2: they only last for about ten years. And you can 167 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,960 Speaker 2: have a tavvy on the tavy on the tavy and 168 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 2: that's you. So if you want to live more than 169 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 2: thirty years at tavy's not your thing. And then he 170 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 2: talked about the Ross procedure, which is is quite a 171 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:55,080 Speaker 2: rare one, but he is now the preferred one for 172 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 2: people my age, which is more complicated. What they do 173 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:02,360 Speaker 2: is they cut out your u minary valve, which doesn't 174 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 2: do a lot of work. Right, that's my surgeon said 175 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 2: to me. It's under about five millimeters of mercury pressure. 176 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 2: You know, your blood pressure one twenty over early, and 177 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:16,080 Speaker 2: that's what your aorta is under your pomonary valves under 178 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 2: bugger all. So he says, what we do is we 179 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 2: harvest that because it's your valve and it hasn't worked 180 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,320 Speaker 2: very hard, and we put that into your aorta. We 181 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 2: cut out your aortic valve, we put your own pulmonary 182 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:30,840 Speaker 2: one in there, and then we put a donor valve 183 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:35,080 Speaker 2: into your pulmonary. He says, it's a harder, more complex operation, 184 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 2: quite a longer recovery, but a much better prognosis in 185 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:41,439 Speaker 2: terms of long term. So I'm like, that's the one 186 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,200 Speaker 2: I want. And I went and researched everything to do 187 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 2: with it. Obviously, then research the death rates less than 188 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:52,840 Speaker 2: one percent, and I thought, well, that's really reasonably good, 189 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 2: and for somebody who's fit, I guess it would be 190 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,319 Speaker 2: about one in a thousand risk, which is pretty bloody low. Right, 191 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:04,719 Speaker 2: I'll take the risks, But when you're actually feaced with that, 192 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,360 Speaker 2: like if you were going walking out the house and 193 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,680 Speaker 2: they went, Craig, there's a one assize chance you're going 194 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:14,480 Speaker 2: to die today. It starts to sort of change your 195 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 2: mentality a little bit, right. 196 00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll be doing door dash and over rates to 197 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: my house. 198 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:26,559 Speaker 2: Yeah. But so it's like, well, okay, so what do 199 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,439 Speaker 2: I need to do? Right, You've got to sort out 200 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 2: all our first chat to Carly, you know, I had 201 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 2: a life insurance policy, had the conversation with Carly about 202 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 2: you know, what I'd like to be done with the kids, 203 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 2: all of that sort of stuff. And then, you know, 204 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:45,920 Speaker 2: the hardest thing in all of this was then filming 205 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 2: some videos for my kids just in case. That was 206 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 2: definitely the hardest thing of all of it. But I 207 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:59,480 Speaker 2: think the other the real lessons for me was, you know, 208 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,680 Speaker 2: you've got to embrace this stuff as a challenge, right, 209 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:07,520 Speaker 2: and embrace it and focus on what you can control. 210 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:11,160 Speaker 2: And the other thing I did a shit heap of research. 211 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 2: I've gone to see my surgeon, I'm both my cardiologists 212 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 2: and they say, look, you need to take six weeks 213 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:21,559 Speaker 2: off work, like six weeks get away. And started looking 214 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,840 Speaker 2: into it and it said, like everybody's fucked for six 215 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 2: weeks and I looked into it, about ninety five percent 216 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:31,840 Speaker 2: of people they end up anemic right because of your Yeah, 217 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,560 Speaker 2: a lot of people are low aren't going in because 218 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 2: of the heart issue. But then you lose a shit 219 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,040 Speaker 2: heap of blood, right, and they have to thin your blood. 220 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,959 Speaker 2: So they operation's pretty frigging amazing what they do. So 221 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 2: they cut your chest open with a saw, fries it open, 222 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:53,160 Speaker 2: and then they clamp your heart and they bypass it, right, 223 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 2: so all the blood gets bypassed from your heart so 224 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 2: as they can work on it, and then they thin 225 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:03,559 Speaker 2: it and it goes through like a false lung that 226 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:06,840 Speaker 2: oxygen nets it, and then they bring it back in 227 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 2: on the other side so as it goes around your body, right, 228 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:13,600 Speaker 2: which is fregging amazing stuff. But what end up is 229 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,839 Speaker 2: you lose for a bit of blood and they have 230 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 2: to thin your blood, so you end up with bugger 231 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:21,040 Speaker 2: all iron. Right, So part of my thing was I 232 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,320 Speaker 2: need to get my iron up right, and I'm so 233 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 2: glad I did. Right. So my hemoglobin levels which are 234 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,480 Speaker 2: supposed to be one thirty to I think one seventy 235 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 2: or something like that host operation. Five days post operation, 236 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:41,640 Speaker 2: they were down at about ninety then and then about 237 00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:45,040 Speaker 2: ten days ago they were about one hundred and seven. Wow, 238 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:50,679 Speaker 2: So I'm glad that I did that stuff. I also 239 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 2: did some research and found that there was a pro 240 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:56,320 Speaker 2: prebiotic that you could take, which I had the order 241 00:13:56,320 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 2: from the UK, that massively improved your gastro intestinal function, 242 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 2: because that's another reason, because your guts are just screwed 243 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 2: because you know, they carpet bomb your gut microbiome, and 244 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,720 Speaker 2: obviously there's a lot of stress. So I took that 245 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 2: pre and when I was in hospital and I restored 246 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 2: my bilefunction within two or three days, and were they 247 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 2: were shocked? 248 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, So you know, who would have thought you 249 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 1: and I'd be chatting about your pooing on a podcast 250 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:33,280 Speaker 1: and who would have thought that I'd be proud of 251 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:37,920 Speaker 1: you for backing one out so quickly. Well done. All right, 252 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:42,760 Speaker 1: So just to give our listeners context as we record this, 253 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 1: it's the twelfth, So my calculations are it's twenty two 254 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 1: to twenty three days since the operation. 255 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 2: Correct. 256 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,200 Speaker 3: Clearly you're not having six weeks off work because I 257 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 3: know you've already had enough. I'm meant to say this, 258 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:59,440 Speaker 3: you've already traveled and me doing work right, and it's 259 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,360 Speaker 3: not like that yesterday. That was a bit ago. 260 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 1: So what was their kind of projected recovery for you? 261 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,840 Speaker 1: And how have you compared, like how has it actually 262 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,440 Speaker 1: worked out? Like what are you right now? 263 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,640 Speaker 2: So my sergeant and my cardiologis book said you got 264 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 2: to take six weeks off work, right, and then they 265 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:22,040 Speaker 2: give you this book and it's like after four weeks 266 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 2: you can hang washing out, don't lift anything other than 267 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 2: one to two kilos for I can't remember it was 268 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 2: six or twelve weeks, right, I've already done a light 269 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:43,360 Speaker 2: weight training session, but it was twelve weeks before you know, 270 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:48,600 Speaker 2: return to full function. But and they said six weeks 271 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:51,440 Speaker 2: before you can go back to work maybe light office 272 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,720 Speaker 2: studis if you're lucky after four weeks. And I'm just 273 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,720 Speaker 2: looking at that going now, and. 274 00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 1: So we're three weeks now, we're three weeks. 275 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:07,280 Speaker 2: So day seventeen, I flew to Sydney, got a tree 276 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:12,520 Speaker 2: into the to the central coast, ran a to our workshop, 277 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 2: and then came back home in a day. So that 278 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:19,320 Speaker 2: was I hope. I sat, it's not listening to this, 279 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:20,880 Speaker 2: but I think. 280 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:23,240 Speaker 1: You just boy, did you warranty? 281 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:26,320 Speaker 2: But I you know that was my target because that 282 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,800 Speaker 2: that boxshot had been booked in penalties, like do we 283 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 2: need to cancel this? And I'm like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 284 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 2: not cancel it because that's my target. And so I 285 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 2: was incrementally going, here's what I need to do on 286 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,880 Speaker 2: the gateway right fourteen days. I need to be doing this. 287 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 2: On the Monday, I need to be able to record 288 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:45,520 Speaker 2: a twenty minute podcast, and then I need to be 289 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:49,880 Speaker 2: doing I need to do on the Wednesday. I was 290 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,160 Speaker 2: showing Tuesday two days before. I need to be doing 291 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 2: up around ten thousand steps and so I did that 292 00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 2: and then I took an easy day on the Wednesday, 293 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 2: traveled up. I also made it again. You know, I'm 294 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,280 Speaker 2: sitting I'm sitting to get to the airport out of 295 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,480 Speaker 2: a driver and I'm sitting in the plane. I'm sitting 296 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,400 Speaker 2: on the tree in it's you know, it's travel. Still 297 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,880 Speaker 2: a bit tiring, But I got a hotel room because 298 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,520 Speaker 2: I had two and a half hours. So I got 299 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:17,080 Speaker 2: a hotel room and had a sleep and that that 300 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,480 Speaker 2: really helped. So I did the workshop and was fine 301 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,960 Speaker 2: and then came home. I was tired because I didn't 302 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,040 Speaker 2: get home till half eleven, I think it was, and 303 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 2: I was pretty figure tired, and I earned my bed 304 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,240 Speaker 2: that day, and then the next day I had a 305 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:35,119 Speaker 2: real rest day. But then Saturday I felt great. Right. So, 306 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:39,919 Speaker 2: but I have also been I've been more invested in 307 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 2: my recovery than I think probably anybody would be. Right. 308 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,160 Speaker 2: I've got a red light panel. I was doing red 309 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 2: and near infra red light therapy every single day. I 310 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,080 Speaker 2: was doing saunas. I started off just with five minutes 311 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 2: because it's good for your cardiovascular system. I was also 312 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:03,879 Speaker 2: taking a Holypus supplements Klinac, which is has been clinically 313 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:07,320 Speaker 2: proven to combat inflammation and oxidut of stress. So I 314 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,080 Speaker 2: knew I got my seareactive protein measured right. They don't 315 00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,719 Speaker 2: measure in the hospital because it's off the church. So 316 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,080 Speaker 2: she reactive protein for the listeners is a level of 317 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,960 Speaker 2: inflammation in the body, and my whole history was it's 318 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,600 Speaker 2: less than one, and they like it to be less 319 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,480 Speaker 2: than five. It's above five, you're in trouble, you're inflamed. 320 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 2: Mine was fifty seven last Saturday, right, So I knew 321 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:33,920 Speaker 2: that my body was just a really low iron, really 322 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 2: low hemoglobin inflamed like crazy, Like my resting heart rate 323 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:43,840 Speaker 2: had gone from the mid forties to high eighties. So 324 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,680 Speaker 2: I know, I'm just in, you know, a sympathetic state. 325 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:50,800 Speaker 2: Your body's just fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting, and so it 326 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 2: needed all the help that it could get, you know, 327 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,640 Speaker 2: as well as the glinac. I was taking circumen, which 328 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,399 Speaker 2: is anti inflammatory. I was taking fish oil. I'm taking 329 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,840 Speaker 2: beef liver, which is best source of iron with vitamin C. 330 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,280 Speaker 2: I'm taking zinc. I'm taking vitamin D, I'm taking B vitamins. 331 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:09,399 Speaker 2: And then I actually been working with an integrative doctor 332 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 2: and I went and got an infusion and IV of gluedocione. 333 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 2: It's called a Meers cocktail, so glued tocione high, those 334 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:23,080 Speaker 2: vitamin C, B vitamins, zinc, and magnesium, and after that 335 00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:24,160 Speaker 2: I felt fucking amazing. 336 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 1: Tell me about through this journey cognitive function. How's your 337 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,200 Speaker 1: Brian going? How was your Brian going in the first week? 338 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,119 Speaker 2: Then I never had any issue like I was in 339 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,240 Speaker 2: the I was in the in the hospital. 340 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 1: I've got a video that says otherwise, oh. 341 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 6: Really, Ah, that was that was under the influence of 342 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:50,479 Speaker 6: a fair bit of morphine, but within by so I 343 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:54,919 Speaker 6: got out of ICU I mean I was reasonably like 344 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:59,640 Speaker 6: Monday night, I hardly remember Carly was there, oscar was there, 345 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,720 Speaker 6: and I might woke up and Tuesday I'm like. 346 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,400 Speaker 2: Were they there? And then I talked to the surgeon. 347 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,439 Speaker 2: Did he do the ross procedure or not? Because you know, 348 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,880 Speaker 2: there was still he had to check the geometry when 349 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,399 Speaker 2: he went in there, so you know, Tuesday it was like, 350 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 2: yes we were there, and yes you did get the 351 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:17,560 Speaker 2: ross procedure right. So but then I see my cognitive 352 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 2: function was fine, and I was doing some work on 353 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,840 Speaker 2: my PhD in hospital because I'm doing a lot of 354 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:27,840 Speaker 2: sitting around. But I had an interesting experience in hospital. 355 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:32,320 Speaker 2: You know, I've always said hospitals are dangerous places. I 356 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:36,119 Speaker 2: don't like them. I don't think they're optimal for recovery. 357 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:40,120 Speaker 2: And that was certainly the case. So I got out 358 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,840 Speaker 2: of icee. You I think it was here the Tuesday 359 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,960 Speaker 2: night of Wednesday morning. I got put in a room 360 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:50,359 Speaker 2: on Wednesday and had a fur bit of sleep on Wednesday, 361 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,439 Speaker 2: but did a fur bit of walking. I did I 362 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:58,960 Speaker 2: think about twelve hundred and fifty steps, which was reasonably good. Thursday, 363 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,959 Speaker 2: I was feeling quite good. I did over three thousand steps, 364 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,560 Speaker 2: and I'm thinking, actually, I'm doing quite well. I mean, 365 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 2: the breathing was really hard, but then thirsty nights. I 366 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:13,359 Speaker 2: had a fucking night from hell. Right, So I was 367 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:19,840 Speaker 2: in this room where the rcon was super large. Right, 368 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 2: So there's a bit of a bit of context to this. 369 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,160 Speaker 2: And as you know, a lot of listeners don't know. 370 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,159 Speaker 2: When I was in the military, I went through combat 371 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:32,920 Speaker 2: survival of Resistance to interrogation training, which was ten days 372 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:36,200 Speaker 2: of pretty hard core stuff. You know, they don't give 373 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,600 Speaker 2: you any food for ten days, they thrash the life 374 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 2: out of you, and then for five days you get 375 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,040 Speaker 2: hunted by a hunter force in them and you think 376 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:46,200 Speaker 2: it's all over. You're introduced to the shock of capture. 377 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:53,600 Speaker 2: And then we spent twelve hours and hoo did in 378 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:58,920 Speaker 2: this room in stress positions which are fucking evil, with 379 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:03,280 Speaker 2: white noise at the volume you'd hear music in a nightclub, right, 380 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:11,920 Speaker 2: and that ever since then, kitchen fans, bathroom fans, ceiling fans, 381 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,720 Speaker 2: I fucking hate them. I hate them with a passion, 382 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:17,440 Speaker 2: like if there's a fire, I walk into a room 383 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:20,000 Speaker 2: and I feel a bit edgy. And then I realized 384 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,120 Speaker 2: the fans on the kitchen fan, I turn it off. 385 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:26,320 Speaker 2: I'm like, ah. And the only ongoing argument that we 386 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,760 Speaker 2: have is the ceiling fan in the bedroom because Carlie 387 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,280 Speaker 2: loves it and I detest it. So she would go 388 00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:34,480 Speaker 2: to bed early put the ceiling fan on, and then 389 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,399 Speaker 2: I come to bed and I turn it off because 390 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 2: I just can't sleep with a ceiling fan. And this 391 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 2: thing was so loud, and I was laning there on 392 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:48,200 Speaker 2: thirsty and I'm I'm a side sleeper and you can't 393 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 2: sleep on your side when you've had your chest cut open, right, 394 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:56,440 Speaker 2: So by thirsty, I'm starting to get like massive paying 395 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,800 Speaker 2: all the way up my back and neck and stuff 396 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 2: like that. But then I'm lying trying to sleep in 397 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:05,840 Speaker 2: Thirstay night, and that fan get in my head big time, 398 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 2: and I I'm actually, I looked at my sleep. I 399 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:12,320 Speaker 2: got not one minute of sleep on Thursday night, and 400 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:16,200 Speaker 2: I was lying there and it just it fucking really 401 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 2: got in my head. And I'm like half the time 402 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,920 Speaker 2: I'm back in that room in fucking stress positions. I 403 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:23,920 Speaker 2: think the peeing in. 404 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:27,680 Speaker 3: The back and you know, it all amplified and wow, 405 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,440 Speaker 3: it's trauma, it's trauma, it's literal trauma. 406 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:35,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, look, I mean, Carli says, that's PTSD. I think 407 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,960 Speaker 2: it does a disservice to people who have reaped real PTSD, 408 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:43,200 Speaker 2: but it's I would describe it as very unpleasant memories. 409 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:46,080 Speaker 2: And it took it back there, right. Some people might 410 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 2: be listening to this going do this fucking PTSD, but 411 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:55,240 Speaker 2: you know, not outread just stuff. But it really it 412 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:59,960 Speaker 2: just fucking warned me up like a spring. And Carli 413 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 2: in on the Friday and she's like, Jesus, I've never 414 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:07,639 Speaker 2: seen you like this. And she actually said to me, 415 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:13,679 Speaker 2: You've got to channel your siege. And she thought I 416 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,720 Speaker 2: was going to bite her head off, and I went, oh, 417 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,480 Speaker 2: fuck it, right, because my gremlin is running the show. 418 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,600 Speaker 2: So for those who are not familiar with this me 419 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 2: and call, you have this concept of siege in gremlin gremlins, 420 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:28,080 Speaker 2: that negative thing in your head, all the negative self talk, 421 00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:31,479 Speaker 2: blah blah blah, everything that's negative, and siege is your 422 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 2: best version of you. And she actually joted me out 423 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,159 Speaker 2: of that because I was. I was, I was in 424 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,160 Speaker 2: a ship state on Friday. I was going to check 425 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,440 Speaker 2: myself out and all sorts of stuff. I'm like, I 426 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:42,840 Speaker 2: got to get out of here. I have to get 427 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:45,480 Speaker 2: out of here, and she's just like, pull your fucking 428 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:49,239 Speaker 2: head in and be your siege. So they ended up 429 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:51,760 Speaker 2: and I went and saw them and said, can we move? 430 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 2: Can we move rooms? And they moved me to another 431 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:58,280 Speaker 2: room which was a shit a little better and that 432 00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:02,240 Speaker 2: was really helpful. But then and on Saturday, the plan 433 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,440 Speaker 2: was that I was going to get home on Saturday, 434 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 2: and then the cardiologists came to see me and he said, look, 435 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 2: I don't like your home because he said, look, you've 436 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,639 Speaker 2: had a little bit of VT ventricular attack acardia, and 437 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 2: which is normal, and you know it's only a problem 438 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,280 Speaker 2: if you hit thirty seconds. Mine were two seconds. There 439 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,520 Speaker 2: was just a couple of little things, he said, But 440 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:29,680 Speaker 2: your rejection fraction, because they did an echo, was only 441 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,760 Speaker 2: about forty percent right, and they like. 442 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:35,240 Speaker 1: Mind people, what just explinds people? Rejection fraction? 443 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:39,159 Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's when you when your ventricle contracts, like 444 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,679 Speaker 2: how much of the blood actually gets out and around 445 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:46,040 Speaker 2: your body. And mine was at forty a typical one. 446 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:49,359 Speaker 2: Most people walk around fifty to seventy percent, right, and 447 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,400 Speaker 2: they like it postop to get to sixty. So they said, look, 448 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,879 Speaker 2: you'r's a bit low. It's understandable because you've had the 449 00:25:54,960 --> 00:26:00,240 Speaker 2: Ross procedure, which is more traumatic. But given the those 450 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,040 Speaker 2: two things, he said, I want to put you on 451 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,479 Speaker 2: this drug ammy of their own right that will just 452 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:11,080 Speaker 2: kill off those little taki cardias and just give you 453 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:13,720 Speaker 2: the best chance of recovery and you can go home tomorrow. 454 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 2: And I rather stupidly and didn't ask what you should 455 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:24,000 Speaker 2: ask on every medication, What are the side effects? What 456 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:27,720 Speaker 2: are all the side effects? High often those side effects? 457 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:32,480 Speaker 2: And if there's bad side effects, is there any alternative treatment? Right? 458 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,639 Speaker 2: So I got a dose of the drug Sorday afternoon 459 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:40,480 Speaker 2: or Saturday evening, and then on Sunday another one. And 460 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,680 Speaker 2: I woke up Sunday and I was feeling shit harsh, 461 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,640 Speaker 2: so I'm like, fuck, I've gone backwards here, and then 462 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,479 Speaker 2: Cardi was was there, her and Oscar visiting me, and 463 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,920 Speaker 2: then they left and I hardly get out of bed, 464 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:53,960 Speaker 2: and I thought I need to get up and move 465 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,960 Speaker 2: because they tell you need to move. And there was 466 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,159 Speaker 2: this walk that I was doing lots of down to 467 00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,879 Speaker 2: the fish tank back down and I was kind of 468 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:02,120 Speaker 2: doing and laps, so I thought I'll just walk there. 469 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:05,360 Speaker 2: I walk slowly and I was walking. I was really 470 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,879 Speaker 2: struggling to walk, and my breathing was labored. And I 471 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,080 Speaker 2: got to the fish tank and I sat down and 472 00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:14,560 Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck, I'm I'm screwed. And this this guy 473 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,399 Speaker 2: walked past me and he went, are you okay? And 474 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,440 Speaker 2: I went, nah, I'm not okay, and he said, okay, 475 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 2: let me go and get a chair, and he got 476 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,119 Speaker 2: a chair, and that's when I twigged this, this is 477 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,080 Speaker 2: the drug. It's just wipe man. And I told him 478 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:31,400 Speaker 2: he was obviously a senior medical guy, and I just went, 479 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,000 Speaker 2: I'm not taking that tug again. And he brought me 480 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:37,600 Speaker 2: back and he said to the nurse, call, call the cardiologist, 481 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,520 Speaker 2: stop that medication, and let's get him in the bay. 482 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:43,560 Speaker 2: I'd get him monitored. And then it really hit me. 483 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:47,000 Speaker 2: It so this drug on me, on their own is 484 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:53,200 Speaker 2: a sympathetic nervous system suppressant. But I had a bad 485 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:58,639 Speaker 2: reaction to it. It dropped my heart rate low, dropped 486 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 2: my blood pressure, and I was being monitored and my 487 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,639 Speaker 2: breathing fuck. I was struggling to breathe. And I was 488 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,560 Speaker 2: lying in bed Saturday night and I was frigging her 489 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:12,840 Speaker 2: or something. I think this was. It was herrndous and 490 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,439 Speaker 2: I was in pain. I could hardly breathe, and I 491 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,840 Speaker 2: was trying to move and then get up, and it 492 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:21,199 Speaker 2: was fucking so people, and I'm just like, you just 493 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:23,040 Speaker 2: got to get through this. She just got to breathe. 494 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,800 Speaker 2: They came and they did an EKG on me at 495 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,800 Speaker 2: four in the morning, and the nurse was like, ooh, 496 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:33,639 Speaker 2: this has changed. And then I'm just trying to just 497 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,320 Speaker 2: say and get through the morning, doing all my breath work, 498 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,800 Speaker 2: trying to control it. And then I managed to get 499 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 2: some sleep and I woke up and I thought I 500 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,239 Speaker 2: actually started to feel a bit better. And she came in. 501 00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:45,560 Speaker 2: My heart rate had gone back up, my blood pressure 502 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 2: gone back up. She checked my EKG and she said, oh, 503 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:53,400 Speaker 2: you're back to normal. Man. So then the cardiologist came 504 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:58,040 Speaker 2: in and he said, look, sorry, that clearly didn't work 505 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,040 Speaker 2: out as planned. He said, the good news is that 506 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,720 Speaker 2: your VT's all gone. And he said the bad news 507 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:08,480 Speaker 2: is you've obviously had a reaction to that drug. So 508 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,640 Speaker 2: you're not going home today because we need to observe you. 509 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:15,120 Speaker 2: And I went, incorrect, I'm going home. 510 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,680 Speaker 1: She did, Can I just can I pause you? 511 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:20,800 Speaker 2: Yeah? 512 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 3: In the middle of the night because the first night 513 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,320 Speaker 3: you had no sleep. All the second night so you 514 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:30,720 Speaker 3: had zero minutes sleep. And then when you're when the 515 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,080 Speaker 3: shit hit the fan and you got to the fish tank. 516 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,800 Speaker 1: And you're rooted in the and then you were in 517 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:39,120 Speaker 1: agony and you couldn't breathe. And did you at any 518 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,240 Speaker 1: moment think is this it? 519 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:45,800 Speaker 2: No? No, I didn't because I knew I was being monitored. 520 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:48,360 Speaker 2: I knew I was having a reaction to the drug. 521 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 2: I'd looked the drug up at that stage on a 522 00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 2: drug data piece. I knew that it peaked three to 523 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:59,040 Speaker 2: seven hours afterwards. But then I started reading the fucking 524 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:02,600 Speaker 2: side effects. Twenty percent of neurological issues, twenty percent of 525 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 2: pulmonary issues, seventy percent of people who are on it 526 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:09,040 Speaker 2: long term have to come off it because of the 527 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:13,160 Speaker 2: side effects. Right now, it's normally used for people with 528 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:19,000 Speaker 2: life threatening arrhythmias. But you know, he decided to use 529 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 2: it on me. I've heard a cardiologist said he used 530 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,959 Speaker 2: a sledge hammer to crack a knot. But you know, 531 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:28,160 Speaker 2: it is what it is. I get the reasons that 532 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 2: he did it, and I didn't give many shit. I 533 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:32,480 Speaker 2: was just like and he was apologetic. I just went, 534 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:35,560 Speaker 2: I'm done, I'm out of here, because I looked at 535 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,080 Speaker 2: my sleep as well. I had in five days, I 536 00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:41,160 Speaker 2: had a total vie at our sleep track of my sleep, 537 00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:41,600 Speaker 2: and I'm. 538 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,880 Speaker 1: Like, that's that's going to kill you without mesurgery. 539 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:48,280 Speaker 2: Well, that's exactly my thing. I'm massively sleep deprived. I 540 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:50,680 Speaker 2: cannot fucking sleep in this hospital. They've give me sleeping 541 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 2: tablets didn't work. I'm like, I've got insomnia. I've got 542 00:30:54,440 --> 00:31:00,320 Speaker 2: industrial insomnia here that is massively driving inflammaus in an 543 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,720 Speaker 2: oxyd of stress in my body. I know all the 544 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,440 Speaker 2: negative effects of sleep. The food is shit in this place. 545 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,440 Speaker 2: It is so low protein. You know protein as you 546 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:14,920 Speaker 2: know you need more protein when you're sick. I ordered 547 00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:17,840 Speaker 2: steak and it was about fifty grams of steak. And 548 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,560 Speaker 2: then the next night I ordered pron linguini. I thought 549 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,239 Speaker 2: I'd get some seafood. There was two fucking prawns on it. 550 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,480 Speaker 2: There would have been about five grams of protein in 551 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:30,280 Speaker 2: the main meal. I'm like, and the ox there's no 552 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:34,240 Speaker 2: fresh air in this place. I'm not outside in nature, 553 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,200 Speaker 2: you know. If I go home, I'm out looking at 554 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:39,600 Speaker 2: the water. I mean in a great environment, I can 555 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,840 Speaker 2: release all of my back and all of that stuff. 556 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,400 Speaker 2: I'll get sleep. So I'm just like, I'm out of here. 557 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:50,480 Speaker 2: I'm like, you guys have lost the right to be 558 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:55,160 Speaker 2: in control of my recovery. That was my view, and 559 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:57,080 Speaker 2: my surgeon didn't take it too well. We had a 560 00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,880 Speaker 2: bit of a robust conversation, so we said, and I 561 00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,840 Speaker 2: just said to him and he had his run and 562 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,200 Speaker 2: I said, you done and he said yeah, and I said, 563 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:06,960 Speaker 2: I'm out of here. 564 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:09,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, you said, thanks for your feedback. 565 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:10,760 Speaker 2: So I was. 566 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,760 Speaker 3: My man had a heart attack and he's a diabetic, 567 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:19,760 Speaker 3: and he was I don't know, three or four days 568 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 3: post top open art surgery and I'm in standing next 569 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:27,640 Speaker 3: to him and one of the catering staff brings a 570 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:32,400 Speaker 3: snack and the snack is scones and cream and jam. 571 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,000 Speaker 2: For an taribatic fucking love it. 572 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:37,640 Speaker 3: And I'm like, who's I'm like, oh, he can't eat that. 573 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:40,840 Speaker 3: She's like why, I go, well, he's a diabetic. It 574 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,320 Speaker 3: says it right there. And she's like, oh, well, I 575 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,080 Speaker 3: just bring what they tell me to bring. I'm like, 576 00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:49,880 Speaker 3: well take that away. My man's like, shut the funk up. 577 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,360 Speaker 3: So Cartie was bringing in my food. 578 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,600 Speaker 2: Lucky enough, there was a Vietnamese across the road, so 579 00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 2: she was bringing me in a protein cheek both I hope, 580 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:03,200 Speaker 2: collagen and berries and all of that stuff. And then 581 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,520 Speaker 2: I was getting my food from the Vietnamese. I was 582 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,040 Speaker 2: getting far from across the road and stuff like that. 583 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:13,080 Speaker 2: So I didn't eat in the hospital again from I 584 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 2: think Thursday or Friday. But I was just like, and 585 00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:19,720 Speaker 2: you know, some people go Jesus, that was irresponsible. But 586 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:21,800 Speaker 2: I knew I was out of the woods. I knew 587 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:23,720 Speaker 2: I was out of the woods, and I knew I 588 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:27,120 Speaker 2: had to get out of there for my sanity and 589 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:28,520 Speaker 2: for my recovery as well. 590 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,280 Speaker 1: If ten out of ten is you when you're normal 591 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,240 Speaker 1: and healthy and fit and strong and robust like two 592 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,880 Speaker 1: years ago, you with no symptoms, just healthy, that's you. 593 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:39,640 Speaker 1: Ten out of ten? What do you reckon you are 594 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:44,040 Speaker 1: at the minute as we record, look. 595 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:49,840 Speaker 2: I'd say I'm probably a five, right, so normal function, talking, walking, 596 00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:53,640 Speaker 2: moving around. When I get up, I'm got to be 597 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,479 Speaker 2: a little bit careful because my blood pressure, I had 598 00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:57,480 Speaker 2: to stop my blood pressure medication, so they put me 599 00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:02,880 Speaker 2: on three different heads, aspiring blood pressure medication and SGL 600 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:07,200 Speaker 2: two inhibitor the strengthen my heart and the blood pressure. 601 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,160 Speaker 2: I've been taking my blood pressure four times a day 602 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:12,400 Speaker 2: and it was getting really really low, so I've stopped that. 603 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,839 Speaker 2: So I've just got to be worry if I spring up. 604 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:19,960 Speaker 2: But you know, normal function, I can walk around and 605 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:21,560 Speaker 2: go up and down the stairs and go out for 606 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:23,640 Speaker 2: a walk. But you know, I'm doing half four walks 607 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,439 Speaker 2: every morning. Going up a hill is really interesting. Right. 608 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:31,400 Speaker 2: I hit one hundred and three beats a minute and 609 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:36,239 Speaker 2: I'm in zone three, right, zone three, zone four. I'm breathing, 610 00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:39,960 Speaker 2: starting to breathe really heavy. That used to be one 611 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:43,000 Speaker 2: hundred and twenty two beats a minute just when I 612 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,640 Speaker 2: was doing that. So but that I think is a 613 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:49,279 Speaker 2: combination of my ejection fractions still not there, and my 614 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:54,160 Speaker 2: hemic globein and iron are really low. Right, So if 615 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,200 Speaker 2: you've got low iron and low heemic globe in, anybody who's 616 00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:59,240 Speaker 2: in namic notes you've got fucking no energy and also 617 00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:04,120 Speaker 2: in the cold, and that's a low hemoglobin thing as well. 618 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,880 Speaker 1: Right, But do you know I have anicious tsunamia? Did 619 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:07,719 Speaker 1: you know that? No? 620 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,080 Speaker 2: I didn't, Jesus Christ. 621 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:13,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I have to jet myself with a twelve. 622 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:17,560 Speaker 2: Right, okay, yeah, because I'm taking too. Yeah, geez, anybody's 623 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:22,160 Speaker 2: got any maya, I feel them, I really do. But 624 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:26,480 Speaker 2: I've got that combined with low ejection fraction. So and look, 625 00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:29,200 Speaker 2: the great thing you know for me was going and 626 00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:33,680 Speaker 2: doing that workshop. I did another workshop yesterday, and I reckon, 627 00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:38,319 Speaker 2: I was probably ninety five percent on yesterday. Wow, so 628 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:42,720 Speaker 2: that was pretty good. I reckon, I was probably eighty 629 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:48,239 Speaker 2: percent eighty five last week, and I did a very 630 00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:52,880 Speaker 2: light resistance training. Sess. I'm just I'm curling nine kilo 631 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,319 Speaker 2: dumbbells when I used to be doing eighteen. I'm doing 632 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,560 Speaker 2: twenty four kilos on the tricep push dump. But I'm 633 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:02,800 Speaker 2: just like, my body needs stimulation. I reckon, I've lost 634 00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,440 Speaker 2: between two and two and a half keels a muscle. 635 00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:11,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, you'll get tell me about your your wounds, tell 636 00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:14,759 Speaker 1: me about that big bloody slice and dice down there. 637 00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:20,280 Speaker 1: Oh god, wow, well you know you've just made my primo. 638 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,839 Speaker 1: Thank you. So that looks to me like that is 639 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:26,719 Speaker 1: fuck twenty centimeters is that? 640 00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:28,480 Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah? 641 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:32,520 Speaker 1: Definitely definitely, maybe more maybe so we're looking at like 642 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,879 Speaker 1: an eight nine ten inch scar. Everyone Wow. 643 00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,640 Speaker 2: And then you see those two little things down there, yeah, wow, 644 00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,400 Speaker 2: where they had tubes. So they have tubes and your 645 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:46,160 Speaker 2: dreamage tubes about as thick as your finger. And then 646 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,080 Speaker 2: on the I think it was on the Friday or 647 00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,640 Speaker 2: maybe the Saturday, they pulled the tubes out. 648 00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:56,080 Speaker 1: Yeah I bet that, I bet you, mother fucker. 649 00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,440 Speaker 2: And there was a boat four or five inches of 650 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:02,280 Speaker 2: tube and are so they're pulling and it just keeps coming. 651 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:05,960 Speaker 2: It was like, that's smarted, I can tell you. And now, 652 00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:08,520 Speaker 2: of course the second one hurt twice as much as 653 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,040 Speaker 2: the first one did. 654 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:11,960 Speaker 1: Well, you got Marcus really. 655 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:19,560 Speaker 6: You know, it's like fuck, be a Stoic, lean into 656 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,279 Speaker 6: it and then like fox stoicism this. 657 00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,200 Speaker 2: I think there might have been an f ball that 658 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:26,560 Speaker 2: sneaked out for sure. 659 00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:33,960 Speaker 1: Did you have any did you have any philosophical moments. 660 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:39,000 Speaker 2: Like why yes, so so pre so. You know, I'm 661 00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:41,920 Speaker 2: a fan of the Stoics. I'm a fan of Memento Mary. 662 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,920 Speaker 2: I've got a tattoo on me. You know that's Marcus 663 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:48,399 Speaker 2: really is you know, it was all the Stoics. Remember death, 664 00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:52,719 Speaker 2: Remember that you are mortal. So I've always I've always 665 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:58,240 Speaker 2: been very aware of my mortality and very grateful every 666 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:04,759 Speaker 2: day that I'm alive. But what I did deliberately was 667 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,200 Speaker 2: meditated on my death, and I actually think it's a 668 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:13,239 Speaker 2: really good exercise for people. I thought a lot about, 669 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:17,960 Speaker 2: not from a morose perspective, but just like, well, if 670 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:21,720 Speaker 2: this was to be it, you know, how would you feel? 671 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:27,680 Speaker 2: And my reflection, I think was I would be really 672 00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:31,719 Speaker 2: content with the life that I had, but changed with 673 00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:35,359 Speaker 2: a huge bit of sadness that I would not get 674 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:39,240 Speaker 2: to see my kids grow up and that I wouldn't 675 00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:41,960 Speaker 2: get to enjoy my retirement with Carly. And I think 676 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:45,439 Speaker 2: the third bit of sadness for me would be that 677 00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,960 Speaker 2: my parents would have to bury one of their children, 678 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:51,080 Speaker 2: because that is now my major goal in life is 679 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:54,440 Speaker 2: not to bury one of my children. Right. But when 680 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:57,200 Speaker 2: I reflected on it, I thought, fucking hell, I've had 681 00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,560 Speaker 2: a good life, and I've had an action field. I've 682 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:05,560 Speaker 2: crammed a shitload in right. I had a pretty good 683 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:10,040 Speaker 2: upbringing that also prepared me for the world, you know, 684 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:14,640 Speaker 2: being brought up as an Irish Catholic and a Protestant neighborhood. 685 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:18,560 Speaker 2: I think that helped them. In university, I absolutely loved it. 686 00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:22,239 Speaker 2: I did a shit heap of travel. I joined the military. 687 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,320 Speaker 2: I had a wonderful time in the military, but also 688 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,200 Speaker 2: saw quite a lot of stuff and it prepared me 689 00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,879 Speaker 2: really well. You know, I've visited over sixty countries. I've 690 00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:37,879 Speaker 2: explored consciousness in numerous different ways. I've done you know, 691 00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:44,359 Speaker 2: shit poison. I've had toad poison. I've had shamanic rituals 692 00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:47,600 Speaker 2: and deep in the Amazon jungle with this Italian guy 693 00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:51,640 Speaker 2: thousand kilometers from the nearest road, no sat phones. Like, 694 00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:56,279 Speaker 2: I've done some really cool shit in my life. But 695 00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:01,480 Speaker 2: you know, just reflecting on it, it's like, well, if 696 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,440 Speaker 2: I do get on the other side, well, I do differently. 697 00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:07,120 Speaker 2: Last time on my phone, right, even though well probably 698 00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:09,160 Speaker 2: not my phone, I'm not that big of my phone, 699 00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:13,400 Speaker 2: but last time watching news and sport, that's probably my weakness. 700 00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,200 Speaker 2: I think the other thing that would that I was 701 00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:18,200 Speaker 2: a bit rueful of if it had been all over, 702 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:20,720 Speaker 2: was that got so close to my PhD but didn't 703 00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:26,000 Speaker 2: do it right. And I was actually trying to get 704 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:30,960 Speaker 2: it submitted before just so I might get a posthumous PhD. 705 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:37,040 Speaker 1: That's hilarious, but that's that's crossed my mind. 706 00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:40,800 Speaker 3: If I die before I finished this, I'll be pissed off. 707 00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,080 Speaker 2: But the other thing was, you know, if if my 708 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:48,080 Speaker 2: time is up, I get to see I get to 709 00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:52,400 Speaker 2: go on life's last great adventure and find out is 710 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:56,320 Speaker 2: there another side? And more? All the fucking Holy Joe's, 711 00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:59,279 Speaker 2: have they just wasted their lives because there's fuck all 712 00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:04,319 Speaker 2: on the other you know? What is it like? So 713 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:09,799 Speaker 2: I think that's philosophically and I actually think coming out 714 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:13,960 Speaker 2: of this, everybody should meditate on their death and actually go, fuck, 715 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:18,040 Speaker 2: if I was today tomorrow, what would I really regret? 716 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:22,160 Speaker 2: And if I did get a second chance, what would 717 00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:26,920 Speaker 2: I do differently? I think that's importantly do that. 718 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:31,160 Speaker 1: I think it's a really I mean, it is people. Obviously, 719 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:34,640 Speaker 1: people are scared. We're scared at times, and it's uncomfortable 720 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:37,600 Speaker 1: and it's not you know. I did an episode about 721 00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:40,480 Speaker 1: three weeks ago called in the Proximity of Death and 722 00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:43,879 Speaker 1: I call her my second mom. 723 00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:46,960 Speaker 3: She calls she called me her fifth kid, because she's 724 00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:50,040 Speaker 3: got four daughters and me and our families grew up 725 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:53,279 Speaker 3: intertwined with each other. She was very much my second mom. 726 00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:57,240 Speaker 3: I was always at their house, four sisters, four pseudo sisters, 727 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:02,520 Speaker 3: and she passed away about three or four days after Christmas, 728 00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:06,840 Speaker 3: and our families spend every Christmas Day together. And I 729 00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,279 Speaker 3: left the barbecue or the Christmas lunch and I went 730 00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:14,880 Speaker 3: to hospital and sat with her for an hour and 731 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:18,080 Speaker 3: it was just, without trying to be weird, but it 732 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:23,319 Speaker 3: was so fucking profound. And I'm like, I'm sitting with 733 00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,600 Speaker 3: this person that I love, that this is it. This 734 00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:30,799 Speaker 3: is the last conversation, this is the last hour that 735 00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:32,520 Speaker 3: I will spend with her. And she knew that and 736 00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:37,200 Speaker 3: I knew that, and yeah, it's like, oh, this, like 737 00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:41,560 Speaker 3: everything else melts away like nothing. 738 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,080 Speaker 1: And I know this sounds cliche. I don't mean it too, 739 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:48,520 Speaker 1: but truly all that I couldn't fucking I couldn't get 740 00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:52,839 Speaker 1: enough of her, I couldn't get enough of It's like 741 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:57,520 Speaker 1: that hour went really quick but really slow. And I 742 00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:00,480 Speaker 1: can remember that hour more vividly than maybe any other 743 00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:04,400 Speaker 1: hour I've had in the last decade. Right, Yeah, And 744 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:10,239 Speaker 1: it's just oh, and it's funny how certain I don't 745 00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:14,719 Speaker 1: know situations or events or whatever, environments or can just 746 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:19,920 Speaker 1: give you a level of perspective that you seemingly can't 747 00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:20,759 Speaker 1: have unless you're in. 748 00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:23,600 Speaker 4: That Yes, that's right, you know, imagine if you could 749 00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:27,600 Speaker 4: have that like in that Like towards the end, I 750 00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:29,759 Speaker 4: was I was about to go, and her name's Ray, 751 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,239 Speaker 4: and she goes, you know how much I love you? 752 00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:36,319 Speaker 1: And I'm like, well that was it. I was fucked right. 753 00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:41,120 Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm I'm out, and I go like a 754 00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:46,040 Speaker 3: sun does dismissively. Yeah, I know, like yeah, I know, 755 00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:50,120 Speaker 3: like a fucking alpha male moron. And then she grabs 756 00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:55,440 Speaker 3: my hand with her skinny, little cancer ridden body and 757 00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:59,120 Speaker 3: and makes me look at her and then says it again. 758 00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:04,080 Speaker 3: And then that was it because I knew that would 759 00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:07,319 Speaker 3: never happen again, you know, and she knew that, and 760 00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:10,480 Speaker 3: she wanted to make sure that I left knowing that. 761 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:16,640 Speaker 3: And what was interesting was I feel fucking she was more. 762 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:20,600 Speaker 1: Worried about me. She wasn't worried about herself at all. 763 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,640 Speaker 1: She wanted to sue me, at peace with it. She 764 00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,960 Speaker 1: wanted me to be okay. And I came out of 765 00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:31,720 Speaker 1: there going, fuck, I've got so much to evolve. 766 00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:34,839 Speaker 3: And learn, And you know, I felt like I wish 767 00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:39,040 Speaker 3: I could be a bit like her, you know, so interesting, 768 00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:39,920 Speaker 3: so interesting. 769 00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:45,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I really don't you know, that experience of really 770 00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:49,680 Speaker 2: thinking about your death. I think everybody should do it 771 00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:54,480 Speaker 2: and really think deeply about it, right, and think about 772 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:59,319 Speaker 2: then through that lands. Where are you spending your time? Right? 773 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:03,160 Speaker 2: You know, how much of your time is spent fucking 774 00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:06,560 Speaker 2: doom scrawling? How much of your time is spent doing 775 00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:09,920 Speaker 2: a shit job you don't want to do, or particularly 776 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:14,640 Speaker 2: around your your free time? Right? Are you using your 777 00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:18,960 Speaker 2: free time in an optimal manner or close to an 778 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,279 Speaker 2: optimal manner? Right? 779 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:25,440 Speaker 3: And even turning up the volume on things that really 780 00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:28,040 Speaker 3: don't matter? And you like, this is a one out 781 00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:30,080 Speaker 3: of an issue. I'm making it a nine. 782 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:31,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you go. 783 00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:34,080 Speaker 1: This is not a nine, you fucking idiot. This is 784 00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:35,319 Speaker 1: maybe not even a one. 785 00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:40,000 Speaker 3: Yes, but your get like whatever's got your attention's got 786 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:43,000 Speaker 3: your mind, has got your body, has got you. Like 787 00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:47,920 Speaker 3: you are literally creating an emotional and psychological prison for yourself. 788 00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:51,719 Speaker 1: Like there isn't a problem, but you're inventing one. We're 789 00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:55,160 Speaker 1: so good at that, absolutely, you. 790 00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:59,879 Speaker 3: Know, just plucking a problem from mid air. 791 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:05,680 Speaker 1: He tell my listeners about you and your stuff? How 792 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,400 Speaker 1: can they find you? And I know we're doing a 793 00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,200 Speaker 1: co share, but for my audience, how can they find 794 00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:12,960 Speaker 1: you and follow you? When by your book. He has 795 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:15,640 Speaker 1: written a fucking brilliant book, Thank you. 796 00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:20,840 Speaker 2: And my book is called Death by Comfort and my 797 00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,480 Speaker 2: second book I'm just about to start once I get 798 00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:26,200 Speaker 2: my PhD submitted, but we'll keep that one on the wraps. 799 00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:31,719 Speaker 2: My podcast is the Paul Taylor Podcast and website is 800 00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:34,399 Speaker 2: Paul Taylor dot bisbeei z. 801 00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:41,120 Speaker 1: Perfect, perfect, Well mate, it's been good. In the words 802 00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:42,879 Speaker 1: of the greats, I'm glad you're not dead. 803 00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,520 Speaker 2: That's it. Glad to be on the other side. 804 00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:50,560 Speaker 1: I'm glad you're not dead. And yeah, we'll chat again. 805 00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,000 Speaker 2: Thanks buddy, cheers, good to see you.