WEBVTT - 251. Why most women are struggling with these THREE things 💛 0:00:05.881 --> 0:00:11.801 Apodjay Production. Quick little favor from us. If you've been 0:00:11.881 --> 0:00:14.201 loving the podcast, can you please hit the follow button. 0:00:14.481 --> 0:00:16.721 It might seem small, but it actually helps us so much. 0:00:16.801 --> 0:00:19.121 This podcast is completely free, and every follow means that 0:00:19.161 --> 0:00:21.681 we can keep showing up, keep having these real conversations, 0:00:21.721 --> 0:00:24.281 and keep bringing you two episodes every single week. 0:00:24.401 --> 0:00:26.881 It honestly means the absolute world to us, and we 0:00:26.881 --> 0:00:28.721 don't take a single one of you for granted. So 0:00:28.841 --> 0:00:30.921 if you're here, if you're loving it, come and join 0:00:31.001 --> 0:00:33.201 us properly and hit that follow button. Let's get into it. 0:00:34.441 --> 0:00:37.761 Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy and I'm Tiana. 0:00:37.881 --> 0:00:40.881 This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to 0:00:40.881 --> 0:00:44.361 be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself. 0:00:44.521 --> 0:00:46.841 We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 0:00:46.881 --> 0:00:49.800 We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 0:00:49.801 --> 0:00:51.361 else is too afraid to talk about. 0:00:51.921 --> 0:00:55.921 Get ready for your next level of self. Hello and 0:00:55.961 --> 0:00:57.961 welcome back to another episode of She Rises with your 0:00:57.961 --> 0:01:01.801 favorite hosts Ashi and Tiana. Whether you're plugging in morning, evening, 0:01:01.961 --> 0:01:04.601 or afternoon, we have got another episode for you, and 0:01:04.641 --> 0:01:07.841 today's episode is all about the most common three things 0:01:07.840 --> 0:01:10.401 that we see in women's self sabotaging themselves in twenty 0:01:10.441 --> 0:01:12.560 twenty six, and we'll share all about it in a second. 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:14.880 But otherwise, what is your share of the week. 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:17.560 It's something that I say from a page. Her name 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:21.961 is Alexandra dot Eden's eid E and s if your 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:25.481 emotions could talk. So if you're feeling angry, means something 0:01:25.521 --> 0:01:29.281 needs to change. If you're feeling jealous, it highlights this 0:01:29.321 --> 0:01:31.720 is something that you really want. Let it inspire you 0:01:31.961 --> 0:01:34.840 and ask yourself, are you doing the things together? If 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:37.401 you're feeling guilt, it is showing up because you did 0:01:37.441 --> 0:01:41.161 something that doesn't match your values. If you're feeling fearful, 0:01:41.441 --> 0:01:44.321 your greatest strength is hiding here, So just look closer 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:47.161 and dig a little bit deeper. If you're feeling shame, 0:01:47.441 --> 0:01:49.841 this is a part of you that needs love and acceptance. 0:01:50.281 --> 0:01:53.681 And if you're feeling frustrated, you are feeling stuck, try 0:01:53.721 --> 0:01:57.001 a new way. Oh, I like that isn't it? 0:01:57.001 --> 0:01:59.961 It's so beautiful. Yeah, it's a good perspective, it is. 0:02:00.041 --> 0:02:01.841 It's like so simple but so effective. 0:02:02.121 --> 0:02:03.881 Yeah. It's probably things we'd kind of if we really 0:02:03.921 --> 0:02:07.641 dug deep enough. It's so activated. We know logically, but 0:02:07.801 --> 0:02:09.081 just to read it out it's like, oh. 0:02:09.041 --> 0:02:10.841 So true, and like remembering it in the moments. 0:02:10.921 --> 0:02:12.441 Yeah, that's the hard part. Yeah. 0:02:12.521 --> 0:02:15.120 It's like so easy to do it when you're feeling regulated, 0:02:15.401 --> 0:02:17.561 and it matters most on the hard days. 0:02:17.680 --> 0:02:17.880 Yeah. 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:21.240 Yeah, this is why we love sticky notes. Yes, reminders. 0:02:22.081 --> 0:02:24.121 My share of the week this week is actually just 0:02:24.401 --> 0:02:27.521 about mood lighting. So something that I recently did in 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:30.641 my bedroom a couple of months ago was stop using 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:33.841 my harsh down lights. Yeah, and I honestly can't tell 0:02:33.841 --> 0:02:35.321 you last night turned them on and I got my 0:02:35.361 --> 0:02:37.761 brother to help me put in these LED strips in 0:02:37.800 --> 0:02:38.121 my room. 0:02:38.361 --> 0:02:38.761 Difference. 0:02:38.841 --> 0:02:40.721 I've got a lamp now and I've got an LED strip, 0:02:40.761 --> 0:02:42.881 And honestly, I can't tell you how good it feels 0:02:42.881 --> 0:02:45.321 on my nervous system to not have harsh lights in 0:02:45.361 --> 0:02:48.401 my bedroom. It just feels so much more moody. It 0:02:48.401 --> 0:02:51.441 feels like my little safe space where it's just like, no, 0:02:51.561 --> 0:02:54.041 this is for me. Pillows are done nice like it, 0:02:54.601 --> 0:02:56.961 got new curtains. And then also on the back end 0:02:56.960 --> 0:02:58.881 of that, something else has been really helpful is actually 0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:02.161 showering in the dark. So I've been reading a little 0:03:02.161 --> 0:03:04.721 bit more about this recently online, but apparently showering in 0:03:04.721 --> 0:03:06.481 the dark is such a good reset for your nervous 0:03:06.481 --> 0:03:09.161 system because you can one feel the water on your body, 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:11.921 you can breathe, and also you don't have those harsh 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:14.800 downlines where it feels like a hospital room feels like 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:17.441 a hospital room. Yeah, So just like removing those elements 0:03:17.481 --> 0:03:18.961 so that by the end of the day, at the 0:03:19.041 --> 0:03:20.601 end of the night where you can come home and 0:03:20.641 --> 0:03:23.161 you can just like fully let go and allow your 0:03:23.161 --> 0:03:24.921 body to soften and kind of come back to like 0:03:24.921 --> 0:03:27.800 a really beautiful, regulated baseline. And that for me has 0:03:27.841 --> 0:03:30.321 honestly been so helpful, especially in the moments when I 0:03:30.321 --> 0:03:31.161 feel really triggered. 0:03:31.281 --> 0:03:33.561 I love that you've been sharing with a lit candle. 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:35.241 It's so nice, so nice. 0:03:35.561 --> 0:03:37.921 I love your rooms now, like the LEDs is so relaxing. 0:03:37.961 --> 0:03:40.241 Oh it looks so much better. Oh it's beautiful, look 0:03:40.361 --> 0:03:41.121 shocking before. 0:03:41.401 --> 0:03:42.481 Yeah, I love it. 0:03:43.121 --> 0:03:45.481 We've recently have started something called the Accelerator. Now, the 0:03:45.481 --> 0:03:48.321 Accelerator is our online program, and we have some really 0:03:48.361 --> 0:03:51.321 incredible women inside the best Oh my gosh. But one 0:03:51.361 --> 0:03:53.801 of the biggest common themes that we see in these 0:03:53.841 --> 0:03:57.601 women are these three self sabotaging patterns. And I don't 0:03:57.601 --> 0:03:59.721 know if you're still self sabotaging in twenty twenty six, 0:03:59.801 --> 0:04:01.201 but let's talk about it. 0:04:01.361 --> 0:04:03.641 Yeah, it's crazy how you can work with so many women, 0:04:04.121 --> 0:04:06.321 even online and offline, even though they retreat. Like the 0:04:06.401 --> 0:04:08.841 same three things kept coming out. We kept talking about 0:04:08.841 --> 0:04:10.881 like wow, like we all struggle with the same stuff. 0:04:11.161 --> 0:04:13.401 It just looks very different to everyone, but it's all 0:04:13.521 --> 0:04:15.001 underlying the same thing. 0:04:15.001 --> 0:04:19.200 Absolutely, and in different seasons of different lives with different challenges. 0:04:19.681 --> 0:04:21.440 But it could be in work, it could be in business, 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:23.521 it could be in your relationship, could be in your friendship. 0:04:23.521 --> 0:04:26.481 But the three common things keep coming up. And the 0:04:26.481 --> 0:04:29.640 first one is that most women really struggle to stick 0:04:29.681 --> 0:04:33.640 to things. Yes, like they struggle to keep their word. 0:04:33.681 --> 0:04:35.880 It's like they set these new goals or you know, 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:38.801 they want to do the fitness program and they just 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:41.200 the business yeah whatever it is, and they start for 0:04:41.241 --> 0:04:43.041 three weeks and then after three weeks they drop off 0:04:43.041 --> 0:04:46.241 the bandwagain out and it's like this common theme of consistency, 0:04:46.361 --> 0:04:48.881 like really struggling to be consistent with the things that 0:04:48.921 --> 0:04:51.401 are actually really important to them or that they say 0:04:51.401 --> 0:04:53.801 that are really important to them. I think we all 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:55.441 can say at least one point in our lives that 0:04:55.481 --> 0:04:56.001 we've been there. 0:04:56.721 --> 0:04:59.041 But you know, with consistency always Like using a wedding 0:04:59.081 --> 0:05:02.161 as an example, if a bride knows her wedding date, 0:05:02.641 --> 0:05:04.320 nothing will get in the way of her getting her 0:05:04.401 --> 0:05:06.241 dream body right. You've seen it over and over again 0:05:06.241 --> 0:05:08.361 because I've got a strong enough why. I think if 0:05:08.401 --> 0:05:10.721 you don't have a strong enough why and they inspired 0:05:10.841 --> 0:05:13.361 energy to get there, it's so easy for life to 0:05:13.401 --> 0:05:15.520 just get in the way. Things get busy, the kids 0:05:15.561 --> 0:05:17.400 get sick, I got a bad night's sleep last night. 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:20.281 That's where discipline comes in and meets consistency to get 0:05:20.281 --> 0:05:23.801 your results. Without discipline and without consistency, you'll just keep 0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:27.001 falling off the bandwagon. You have to show up even 0:05:27.041 --> 0:05:28.520 on the hard days. And it's not that you don't 0:05:28.521 --> 0:05:30.401 listen to your body. Like That's where I think a 0:05:30.401 --> 0:05:31.881 lot of women get confused. It's like, oh, but I 0:05:31.921 --> 0:05:33.721 felt tired and when my period and dah da dah, 0:05:33.761 --> 0:05:35.921 like I need to listen to my body. But sometimes 0:05:35.921 --> 0:05:38.401 it goes so far that you're not actually getting anything done, 0:05:38.521 --> 0:05:41.200 and it's like how long do you let that carry on? 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:43.681 For yeah, like if your appearan's that bad that you 0:05:43.761 --> 0:05:46.001 literally cannot get out of bed, you need to saw 0:05:46.041 --> 0:05:48.081 some help, go to a match path, get all your 0:05:48.081 --> 0:05:50.640 blood work done, go to a holistic doctor, get that 0:05:50.721 --> 0:05:52.961 checked out. That's not normal, Like we should still be 0:05:53.041 --> 0:05:54.760 able to function, and yes, you can take things. So 0:05:54.921 --> 0:05:57.601 I recommend working with your cycle and like not training 0:05:57.681 --> 0:06:00.400 is heavy, or going through a gentle yoga instead, or 0:06:00.761 --> 0:06:02.561 getting a lot more sleep if you can, eating so 0:06:02.601 --> 0:06:04.801 much more warming foods, jumping in the sauna, using a 0:06:04.841 --> 0:06:08.081 heat pack, like getting acupuncture. There's so many beautiful things 0:06:08.081 --> 0:06:10.440 that you can support your cycle with. But for me, 0:06:10.521 --> 0:06:12.041 it doesn't mean falling off the face of the planet. 0:06:12.681 --> 0:06:15.161 I still have responsibilities. Yeah, I still have big goals 0:06:15.201 --> 0:06:16.520 I want to achieve. I still have to show up 0:06:16.521 --> 0:06:19.201 as a mum. I still know that exercise helps me 0:06:19.201 --> 0:06:22.121 mentally feel better. So even if I'm not hitting PBS, 0:06:22.521 --> 0:06:23.201 I'm still going. 0:06:23.361 --> 0:06:23.561 Yeah. 0:06:23.561 --> 0:06:26.481 I literally say to Georgia, George, I am bleeding today. 0:06:27.001 --> 0:06:28.481 He's like, cool, We're going to go a lot lighter, 0:06:28.521 --> 0:06:30.001 like take it easy, but it's still bigger warm up. 0:06:30.041 --> 0:06:31.640 Like he's so in tune with women's bodies and he 0:06:31.681 --> 0:06:34.721 only trains females. He works with us, and that's so beautiful. 0:06:35.201 --> 0:06:37.601 But I'm just very big on still being able to 0:06:37.641 --> 0:06:40.321 show up. If you really want something, you've got to 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:42.481 put their work in. You've got to keep showing up. 0:06:42.521 --> 0:06:43.601 You've got to be consistent. 0:06:43.841 --> 0:06:45.601 And what we've seen as well with the accelerated girls, 0:06:45.641 --> 0:06:47.961 I mean, this is a conversation we've even brought forward 0:06:47.961 --> 0:06:49.880 to them. Yeah, you know, when we hit the three 0:06:49.921 --> 0:06:52.200 week mark, we were like, okay, girls, who's dealing with 0:06:52.201 --> 0:06:53.801 this problem right now? And a few of the girls 0:06:53.841 --> 0:06:56.041 actually put their hand up before we'd even are so, 0:06:56.521 --> 0:06:58.841 oh my gosh, I noticed I'm not really being accountable 0:06:58.921 --> 0:07:00.721 this week. I haven't really, you know. And then they're 0:07:00.721 --> 0:07:02.601 like cool, and they pick themselves back up again and 0:07:02.641 --> 0:07:04.760 they get back on the bandwagon. Yeah, and that's exactly 0:07:04.761 --> 0:07:06.801 what the space is for. It is for that level 0:07:06.801 --> 0:07:09.801 of accountability. It's right. But what we've noticed as well 0:07:09.841 --> 0:07:12.081 in what these women who maybe weren't fully aware of 0:07:12.121 --> 0:07:13.961 this pattern and how it shows up in their life, 0:07:14.361 --> 0:07:16.561 is really starting to see it now because we've put 0:07:16.601 --> 0:07:17.561 like a spotlight on it. 0:07:17.601 --> 0:07:18.281 They're facing it. 0:07:18.481 --> 0:07:20.961 Yeah, so in three weeks they're like, oh my gosh, 0:07:21.001 --> 0:07:23.121 I didn't realize that I'm doing the same pattern that 0:07:23.161 --> 0:07:26.761 I've always done. Oftentimes, as it's saying that goes around it, 0:07:26.801 --> 0:07:28.641 that's how you do one thing is often how you 0:07:28.761 --> 0:07:31.441 do everything. I think that the truth, right, So it's like, 0:07:31.521 --> 0:07:33.681 how cool for us to look at this as not 0:07:33.721 --> 0:07:36.681 just women but just humans in general who want for 0:07:36.761 --> 0:07:39.041 what we want? Where are we actually getting in our 0:07:39.121 --> 0:07:42.121 own way and stopping ourselves the moment that we start 0:07:42.161 --> 0:07:44.521 something and we ride the high of excitement, but then 0:07:44.521 --> 0:07:47.401 once motivation drops off, we get bored, you know, or 0:07:47.441 --> 0:07:49.561 then we get distracted and go to the next shiny 0:07:49.601 --> 0:07:51.601 object and then go, oh, this feels too hard, and 0:07:51.601 --> 0:07:52.961 then you're onto the next thing. 0:07:53.681 --> 0:07:56.561 That's the power of the group as well. That accountability 0:07:56.601 --> 0:07:58.921 is everything. And I remember when I first started working 0:07:58.921 --> 0:08:00.321 with Taylor and I was going to him three times 0:08:00.361 --> 0:08:02.361 a week for my back. I was in so much 0:08:02.361 --> 0:08:04.121 pain with my back that I had so much motivation 0:08:04.281 --> 0:08:07.361 to go, but I was so accountable. Yeah, that's where 0:08:07.361 --> 0:08:11.441 I think a coach or a personal trainer or anyone 0:08:11.441 --> 0:08:14.161 that you have an appointment with, you've got that level 0:08:14.161 --> 0:08:15.801 of accountability. You don't want to let them down. But 0:08:15.841 --> 0:08:18.761 we don't treat ourselves that same level of respect. So 0:08:18.921 --> 0:08:21.041 if you are struggling to keep showing up for yourself, 0:08:21.041 --> 0:08:22.561 this is when you need to get help. And there's 0:08:22.561 --> 0:08:24.441 no shame in that, not at all. Like even if 0:08:24.441 --> 0:08:26.481 you we're hoping for our girls, like we hope they 0:08:26.521 --> 0:08:28.441 do this ninety days and then they're good on their own, 0:08:28.641 --> 0:08:30.561 and if they want to do another ninety days with us, cool. 0:08:30.561 --> 0:08:32.201 If they love that level of support and it's helping 0:08:32.241 --> 0:08:34.521 them build some habits and break some old ones, to 0:08:34.601 --> 0:08:36.401 rewire the way that they think, the way that they 0:08:36.441 --> 0:08:38.561 do things. That's the power of the group. That's the 0:08:38.601 --> 0:08:41.761 power of having people that hold you accountable and allow 0:08:41.801 --> 0:08:44.081 you to bring your quote unquote mess or the things 0:08:44.081 --> 0:08:46.041 that you're struggling with forward so it can be seen 0:08:46.161 --> 0:08:48.161 we can dissolve the shame and make a wordy map 0:08:48.241 --> 0:08:50.401 to move forward to get that needle moving absolutely. 0:08:50.721 --> 0:08:53.001 Even like us, like a really light example is like 0:08:53.041 --> 0:08:54.761 us going to the gym together in the morning, Like 0:08:54.801 --> 0:08:56.521 when we walk in the mornings and we go training, 0:08:56.601 --> 0:08:58.481 it's like we keep each other accountable in that area 0:08:58.561 --> 0:09:00.881 because one it's really important to both of us and 0:09:00.921 --> 0:09:02.641 also because we know the other person who's going like, 0:09:02.681 --> 0:09:05.001 we don't want to let the other person down accountability. 0:09:05.201 --> 0:09:07.281 Before I met you, I was in such a slump 0:09:07.281 --> 0:09:10.161 of training and I was too dark or too cold. 0:09:10.281 --> 0:09:13.161 I'll walk later, like and I'm someone who really values 0:09:13.201 --> 0:09:14.881 help and finished. And when I found myself with those 0:09:15.081 --> 0:09:17.721 you just had a baby all the excuses. And then 0:09:17.721 --> 0:09:19.161 once we got into a Retaine and I was like, 0:09:19.161 --> 0:09:22.121 oh my gosh, the power of accountability is everything. And 0:09:22.121 --> 0:09:23.401 then we were training for a while and we were like, 0:09:23.441 --> 0:09:25.761 we want to step things up. Let's get a pete. Yeah, 0:09:25.801 --> 0:09:27.161 he's going to keep us account well, he's going to 0:09:27.201 --> 0:09:29.601 track our workouts, he's going to track our weights. I 0:09:29.681 --> 0:09:31.321 tracked my macros for a little bit. It's so much 0:09:31.321 --> 0:09:32.721 about my body and what I was eating, what I 0:09:32.761 --> 0:09:34.841 needed to eat more of. And it's like, once again, 0:09:35.081 --> 0:09:37.441 they're worth their money in gold. Yeah, it's so cool. 0:09:37.521 --> 0:09:40.121 So yeah, consistency and sticking to something is definitely a 0:09:40.201 --> 0:09:42.401 very common problem, and we wanted to bring this forward 0:09:42.441 --> 0:09:44.481 to for anyone listening that feels alone in it, like, oh, 0:09:44.521 --> 0:09:46.921 I'm such a failure, can't stick to anything. I keep 0:09:46.921 --> 0:09:50.201 trying giving up. You're not alone. We all go through it. 0:09:50.241 --> 0:09:52.721 We are seeing this all the time, but we're also 0:09:52.761 --> 0:09:56.001 helping women see their true potential and that they can 0:09:56.081 --> 0:09:56.721 break through that. 0:09:56.761 --> 0:09:57.201 Absolutely. 0:09:57.321 --> 0:10:00.521 Yeah, we're like week six now. Oh they're doing incredible. 0:10:00.041 --> 0:10:03.041 Oh my god, aren't they. Yeah, it's powerful and it is. 0:10:03.121 --> 0:10:05.241 It's a pattern interrupter. You've got to be in the 0:10:05.281 --> 0:10:07.841 right environment, with the right support and the people who 0:10:07.921 --> 0:10:09.561 know what it is that you want to achieve to 0:10:09.641 --> 0:10:11.361 hold you accountable to what it is that you say. 0:10:11.441 --> 0:10:13.801 And then you know, it's cool about getting yourself into 0:10:13.801 --> 0:10:17.001 an environment that encourages you to be better. Is that, 0:10:17.121 --> 0:10:19.001 like what you said after the accelerator, these girls are 0:10:19.001 --> 0:10:21.761 going to be sweet on their own like yourself. When 0:10:21.801 --> 0:10:24.481 you learn from other people and you learn how to 0:10:24.521 --> 0:10:26.641 show up in a different way, you carry that out 0:10:26.641 --> 0:10:28.881 to the rest of your life. Once you see it, 0:10:28.921 --> 0:10:31.481 you can't unsee it. And once you start to change 0:10:31.481 --> 0:10:33.961 the way that you behave, you won't go back to 0:10:33.961 --> 0:10:36.401 the way that you used to behave because one, it 0:10:36.401 --> 0:10:38.561 feels really good and you're really proud of yourself now, 0:10:38.801 --> 0:10:40.321 but also too because you know that you can do 0:10:40.361 --> 0:10:43.281 really hard things. And then shifting and breaking the pattern 0:10:43.401 --> 0:10:46.721 of that old behavior of procrastination or delaying it, or 0:10:46.761 --> 0:10:49.521 starting and stopping, or shining object syndrome. It's like you 0:10:49.561 --> 0:10:51.881 don't fall into those patterns anymore because you're now training 0:10:51.921 --> 0:10:54.881 yourself to behave a different way. It's how powerful, so 0:10:54.961 --> 0:10:57.481 power to know that something that once held you back 0:10:57.561 --> 0:11:02.001 for days, months, maybe even years, is something that doesn't 0:11:02.041 --> 0:11:03.481 even touch the sides for you anymore. 0:11:03.801 --> 0:11:06.121 How powerful is that love that you mentioned that, because 0:11:06.121 --> 0:11:08.161 it's so true. Back to when I was working with Taylor, 0:11:08.481 --> 0:11:09.961 I put him on a pedestal. It's not many people 0:11:09.961 --> 0:11:11.441 that I put on a pedestal, but I really did 0:11:11.441 --> 0:11:14.321 put him on a pedestal. Just the way he does life, 0:11:14.321 --> 0:11:16.441 the way he parents, the way he trains, the way 0:11:16.481 --> 0:11:19.761 he treats his health, his perspective and everything, how grounded 0:11:19.841 --> 0:11:23.081 he is, how loving and non judgmentally is is really 0:11:23.081 --> 0:11:26.001 an incredible human. I want to be around people like 0:11:26.041 --> 0:11:28.201 that so I become more like that. That's why I 0:11:28.241 --> 0:11:30.521 paid him the money I did. Yes, he's expensive, but 0:11:30.561 --> 0:11:32.321 I saw the value in what I was going to 0:11:32.361 --> 0:11:34.681 learn and who I was going to become by being 0:11:34.681 --> 0:11:37.881 around that. The proximity. I wanted to be close to him, 0:11:37.961 --> 0:11:39.801 and I learned so much from him, and I still 0:11:39.841 --> 0:11:41.641 to this day, carry so much of what he's taught me. 0:11:42.041 --> 0:11:45.641 It's incredible. It's powerful put yourself in those environments. I 0:11:45.721 --> 0:11:47.801 had the accountability for three and a half years I 0:11:47.841 --> 0:11:50.761 coached with him. I loved having his accountability. And it 0:11:50.801 --> 0:11:52.361 wasn't just to fix my back. It was like the 0:11:52.361 --> 0:11:56.041 accountability of different emotional things, different ways I was reacting 0:11:56.121 --> 0:11:58.801 or responding in certain situations, like even friendship breakdowns. He 0:11:58.801 --> 0:12:01.321 helped me navigate because in how I would normally react 0:12:01.321 --> 0:12:04.401 and respond, he gave me different alternative perspectives around it, 0:12:04.441 --> 0:12:05.721 and I was like, this is It's so cool having 0:12:05.801 --> 0:12:08.401 that plug in to someone who's living how I want 0:12:08.401 --> 0:12:10.561 to live, even on the hard days, you. 0:12:10.601 --> 0:12:13.721 Know, especially on the hard days. Yeah, having them around 0:12:13.801 --> 0:12:16.441 when you are struggling, when it is you said this 0:12:16.521 --> 0:12:19.521 exactly before, it's being held in your mess. Yes, being 0:12:19.521 --> 0:12:21.281 held in the hard days. And when you do get 0:12:21.281 --> 0:12:22.801 held in the hard days, you learn how to show 0:12:22.841 --> 0:12:24.281 up in a better way that's more productive. 0:12:24.441 --> 0:12:26.241 And the way they love you through it and teaches 0:12:26.281 --> 0:12:27.281 you to love yourself through it. 0:12:27.281 --> 0:12:29.601 It's so true. So what I love coaching. That's why 0:12:29.641 --> 0:12:31.481 I do what I do, because I fucking love it. 0:12:31.841 --> 0:12:34.281 Coaching completely change my life for me too, turn my 0:12:34.321 --> 0:12:36.681 life around complete one eighty from the person I used 0:12:36.681 --> 0:12:38.921 to be to who I am now. And that's why 0:12:38.961 --> 0:12:40.321 it's so fulfilling when I get to do that for 0:12:40.361 --> 0:12:41.881 my clients too, and now what we get to do 0:12:41.921 --> 0:12:44.521 for our accelerator girls and also our retreat girls. Everyone 0:12:44.521 --> 0:12:46.841 who's in the Shite Rises community, like, Yeah, all of 0:12:46.881 --> 0:12:49.641 it is because we understand the power of one being 0:12:49.641 --> 0:12:51.321 able to have that with each other, you know, having 0:12:51.361 --> 0:12:53.481 other people support us and then ask being able to 0:12:53.761 --> 0:12:56.361 relate everything that we've learned so that we can support 0:12:56.401 --> 0:12:57.441 you in that way as well. 0:12:57.801 --> 0:13:02.561 Create the environment, the energy, the vibration, the frequency, the proximity, 0:13:03.201 --> 0:13:06.441 the support, the accountability, all that all so powerful. Oh, 0:13:06.521 --> 0:13:10.321 isn't it like our community? The next thing that we 0:13:10.361 --> 0:13:13.001 see come through with most women, I think it's one 0:13:13.001 --> 0:13:15.321 of the most common things is people are feeling like 0:13:15.361 --> 0:13:18.561 they're a failure or feeling like they're enough. We always, 0:13:18.681 --> 0:13:22.121 especially women, we always feel like we're never enough enough 0:13:22.161 --> 0:13:26.361 for what what's the baseline here? Good enough for who? 0:13:26.401 --> 0:13:26.601 Who? 0:13:26.641 --> 0:13:29.001 Says? You know? But a lot of it does stem 0:13:29.041 --> 0:13:32.281 down to our childhood and comparison, and I think we 0:13:32.321 --> 0:13:35.521 always feel like we're falling behind. I think social media 0:13:35.521 --> 0:13:37.161 has played a big role in this too, because everyone 0:13:37.201 --> 0:13:39.601 posts their highlights. So you compare someone your age or 0:13:39.601 --> 0:13:41.721 in the same industry doing what you're doing, or another mother, 0:13:41.841 --> 0:13:43.481 and you see what they're doing and how they're doing, like, oh, 0:13:43.521 --> 0:13:45.401 my gosh, I should be doing that too, and then 0:13:45.441 --> 0:13:47.161 it makes us feel like, oh, if they're doing that, 0:13:47.201 --> 0:13:49.361 what I'm doing is not enough. It's so sad to 0:13:49.401 --> 0:13:52.041 see so many women just like never quite never really 0:13:52.321 --> 0:13:54.601 celebrating their wins and being proud of who they are 0:13:54.641 --> 0:13:56.801 and where they've come from, and forgetting what they've actually 0:13:56.801 --> 0:13:58.721 overcome to get to where they are. 0:13:59.241 --> 0:14:01.121 I think you're right about social media. I definitely think 0:14:01.121 --> 0:14:04.201 it plays a huge role in the current level of comparison, 0:14:05.161 --> 0:14:07.881 something we've spoken about in a previous conversation around you 0:14:07.961 --> 0:14:09.801 damned if you do, damned if you don't. And I 0:14:09.801 --> 0:14:11.641 think when it comes to comparison, it's like there are 0:14:11.641 --> 0:14:13.961 a lot of people who maybe want to live a 0:14:14.001 --> 0:14:16.121 life that they want to live, but then on social 0:14:16.121 --> 0:14:18.361 media feel pressure to show up a certain way and 0:14:18.401 --> 0:14:21.121 then buy into that narrative or buy into the narrative 0:14:21.201 --> 0:14:22.961 of being the CEO baddy when they want to be 0:14:23.001 --> 0:14:25.401 a stay at home mum or vice versa. You know, 0:14:25.521 --> 0:14:27.241 that's like I feel like that's a good example of 0:14:27.281 --> 0:14:29.641 how that shows up. And I feel like that's where 0:14:29.681 --> 0:14:32.001 like the not enoughness comes in of like, but most 0:14:32.081 --> 0:14:35.161 people want this, so maybe I should want this. Or 0:14:35.321 --> 0:14:38.161 maybe you know, somebody wants to run a business and 0:14:38.241 --> 0:14:39.841 you know, work sixteen hour days and then they're like, 0:14:39.881 --> 0:14:41.481 oh now I feel pressure that I have to do 0:14:41.521 --> 0:14:43.161 that too, when really all they want to do is 0:14:43.201 --> 0:14:45.841 like raise three children and be a beautiful stay at 0:14:45.881 --> 0:14:47.321 home mum who takes care of the home. 0:14:48.241 --> 0:14:48.481 Yeah. 0:14:48.521 --> 0:14:50.961 I think it's a really interesting thing because we're just 0:14:51.361 --> 0:14:54.921 so stuck in comparison. And I think it also comes 0:14:54.921 --> 0:14:56.961 down to how we choose to see it too, or 0:14:57.001 --> 0:14:59.281 how we're taught to see it. Maybe maybe there's not 0:14:59.521 --> 0:15:03.081 enough correction when it comes to comparison. Say, for example, 0:15:03.081 --> 0:15:04.961 when you can pay yourself to somebody instead of going 0:15:05.081 --> 0:15:07.481 if that person is successful, that person is powerful, that 0:15:07.561 --> 0:15:09.841 means that I am not powerful or successful. 0:15:09.721 --> 0:15:10.721 Or it takes away from you. 0:15:10.801 --> 0:15:12.841 It takes away it's almost like there's not enough room 0:15:12.881 --> 0:15:15.041 for me. But if we were taught which I believe 0:15:15.041 --> 0:15:18.161 is a really beautiful thing to see it as something 0:15:18.201 --> 0:15:20.481 that we don't need to take on for ourselves, Like 0:15:20.641 --> 0:15:23.481 we can appreciate somebody else without it taking away from us. Yes, 0:15:23.601 --> 0:15:26.561 how much powerful we would feel in ourselves to know 0:15:26.641 --> 0:15:27.961 that there is no right or wrong. 0:15:28.121 --> 0:15:30.281 Yeah, just what you want for yourself. And everyone has 0:15:30.321 --> 0:15:32.841 their strengths and weaknesses. Tasha's just sometimes two come up 0:15:32.841 --> 0:15:34.721 for him. You'll come home from school and if they've 0:15:34.761 --> 0:15:36.841 been practicing his handwriting, it's like, I'm just so bad 0:15:36.881 --> 0:15:39.441 at it, and this person's so much better at drawing, 0:15:39.481 --> 0:15:41.041 and I'm just so bad at it. My teacher like 0:15:41.041 --> 0:15:42.681 it's always trying to help me, and I just feel 0:15:42.681 --> 0:15:44.481 like a loser when it comes to handwriting. I'm like, 0:15:44.521 --> 0:15:47.081 oh yeah, and guess who's the best speller in your class? 0:15:47.681 --> 0:15:50.721 He's like, who am like you? You are incredible. When 0:15:50.761 --> 0:15:53.241 people's laptops die, who do they come to fix it 0:15:53.481 --> 0:15:56.601 for you? Everyone's got their strengths. And when you were 0:15:56.601 --> 0:15:58.881 growing up, who was surrounded by it? We all five 0:15:58.881 --> 0:16:00.321 of us that had kids at the same time, and 0:16:00.721 --> 0:16:02.601 he was the last one to walk and do some 0:16:02.641 --> 0:16:04.121 of the things that the girls were doing. He was 0:16:04.121 --> 0:16:06.041 the only boy, but it was the first one that 0:16:06.041 --> 0:16:08.401