1 00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:09,160 Speaker 1: I'll get eighteen. How are you oh good? Really? Oh good? Anyway, 2 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,479 Speaker 1: I hope you will. I want to talk to you 3 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 1: about something today that I talk about pretty frequently, something 4 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 1: that I have had to deal with and acknowledge and 5 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:23,760 Speaker 1: navigate myself. And that, of course, you know, is self sabotage. 6 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 1: That is the old the process of getting in one's 7 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 1: own way, of shooting oneself in one's foot, of being 8 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 1: the fucking problem in one's own situation. So anyway, we 9 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 1: do that, we do that a lot. We get in 10 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: our own way. We don't intend to get in our 11 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: own way. We don't want it, we don't want to 12 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 1: get in our own way, we don't plan it, but 13 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 1: we do it. And we can't fix what we can't understand, 14 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,400 Speaker 1: and we can't fix what we don't acknowledge. We're not 15 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: going to fix in inverted commas this in ten seconds, 16 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: because we're always probably going to do a version of 17 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 1: it to some extent. But I guess, like many other things, 18 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,680 Speaker 1: slow down, harps. I guess, like many other things, it's 19 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 1: it's addressing it, and it's turning down the volume on 20 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 1: it and doing less of it. We're not aiming for perfection. 21 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: We're aiming for growth and development and improvement. So I 22 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 1: want to run through with you the ways that I 23 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: have or pretty much all of these I've done. I 24 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,520 Speaker 1: don't know about you, but I think you might. If 25 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,080 Speaker 1: you put on your big boy slash big girl pants 26 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 1: and be super brave, you might hear some of you. 27 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 1: You might recognize some of you, hear some of your 28 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 1: story in what I'm about to share. So I want 29 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: to go through. I just want to think out loud 30 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: about all of this stuff. I don't know that there 31 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 1: are going to be any standalone, universally appropriate solutions, per se. 32 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 1: But we can't get better at the thing that we, 33 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 1: like I said, understand or won acknowledge. So it starts 34 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: with talking about it, starts with acknowledging, it starts with 35 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 1: trying to understand it. When we understand it, we can 36 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 1: start to do something about it. So let's just recover 37 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,040 Speaker 1: what I term. I don't know what the dictionary says. 38 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: I didn't look it up. I don't know what the 39 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: interwebs or chat GPT or bloody claude or any of those, 40 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: hey I say. But for me self, sabotage is that 41 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:26,880 Speaker 1: thing that I see all of the time, and I 42 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 1: mean fucking daily, where somebody has a story or a 43 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 1: habit or a behavior or a way of doing or 44 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:43,239 Speaker 1: being or thinking or operating which is essentially stopping them 45 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,959 Speaker 1: from getting where they want to go. It is stopping 46 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:50,639 Speaker 1: them or inhibiting them from being their best self, whatever 47 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:59,520 Speaker 1: that means physically, mentally, emotionally, professionally, personally, sociologically, intellectually, academically, 48 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,639 Speaker 1: whatever it is. But it's when we are doing something 49 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,359 Speaker 1: or perhaps not doing something. So we're doing a thing 50 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,520 Speaker 1: or we're not doing a thing, and the doing of 51 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 1: that thing, or the avoidance of that thing that we 52 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 1: should be doing is get out your pens and papers. 53 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 1: Fucking us up. It's that process of fucking oneself up 54 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 1: or getting in one's own way that we don't want to. 55 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 1: So at the top of my list, not because it's 56 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,800 Speaker 1: the most important, but the top of my list, on 57 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 1: my little page in front of me, is overthinking. We 58 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,920 Speaker 1: all overthink. It is not a terrible thing, It is 59 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 1: not a sign of weakness or being flawed or hopeless 60 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:44,119 Speaker 1: or useless. Is very much part of the human experience. 61 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: But I think the thing about overthinking is to try 62 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 1: to recognize it and then lean into it, like, what 63 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 1: is the thing that I am overthinking? Why am I 64 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: overthinking that thing? How can I understand that? What is 65 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 1: the underlying driver or cause? And can I address that? 66 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:16,039 Speaker 1: Because while the overthinking is in and of itself a problem, 67 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:21,239 Speaker 1: it is also a symptom or a byproduct of something else. 68 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 1: So generally, when we talk about overthinking, we're talking about 69 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 1: obsessing about something, or focusing on something, or replaying something, 70 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:37,479 Speaker 1: agonizing over something that has happened, or something that we 71 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 1: are fearful of happening. So there's often with overthinking, there's 72 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: often an underlying cause that links to fear, that links 73 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 1: to something that we are afraid of happening. And so 74 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:58,280 Speaker 1: that is again, no, I can't say to you, hey, 75 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 1: you're an overthinker. Stop overthinking, right because, like I said, 76 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 1: the overthinking, the rumination, the obsession, the mental chaos, the 77 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: groundhog danus of repetition of that story replaying in your mind. 78 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,840 Speaker 1: I can't say stop that, just like I can't say 79 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: to you, you know, be taller, of course, but well, 80 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 1: I guess as opposed to height, we can actually manipulate 81 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 1: the contents of our mind and the operating system of 82 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,720 Speaker 1: our mind over time, and so it starts with recognizing 83 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 1: the things. So for example, for example, I used to 84 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:44,840 Speaker 1: overthink the fact that I wasn't good enough. I had 85 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:50,159 Speaker 1: extreme self doubt about many things. And so when I 86 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 1: started personal training, even though I had already worked in 87 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 1: the fitness industry for five or six years before I 88 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 1: did my first personal training client, the fact that I 89 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: was only twenty three or two twenty four years old, 90 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 1: I felt insecure. I was fearful of being embarrassed. I 91 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 1: was overthinking the fact that they might figure out that 92 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 1: I wasn't good enough or smart enough, or qualified enough, 93 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 1: or knowledgeable enough or competent enough to be well one 94 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:23,479 Speaker 1: to get them where they wanted to go, to help 95 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,640 Speaker 1: them achieve their outcomes and goals. Because fuck, I'm a 96 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,279 Speaker 1: twenty three year old kid from La Trivalley. What the 97 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,159 Speaker 1: fuck do I know? I didn't even have a degree 98 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 1: at that stage. I was essentially did I have some 99 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,279 Speaker 1: knowledge and experience? Well, yeah, I had five years of 100 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 1: knowledge and experience in that space, but I essentially thought 101 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:43,920 Speaker 1: I knew fuck all. Upon reflection, your honor, I probably 102 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: knew a bit, but then not that much. But I 103 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 1: constantly got in my own way with this overthinking and 104 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:56,520 Speaker 1: this kind of fear of rejection or embarrassment or being 105 00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 1: found out, how did I overcome that. I started to 106 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:10,000 Speaker 1: think about the fact that I started to realize that 107 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 1: although I was only twenty three or twenty four, the 108 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 1: people that I was working with, although they were forty 109 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,760 Speaker 1: forty five, fifty, some of them thirty five, which to me, 110 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 1: when you're twenty three, thirty five is a fucking dinosaur. 111 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 1: And they were smart, and they were successful, and they 112 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 1: owned companies, and some of them had a little bit 113 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:34,960 Speaker 1: of profile and all of that. But what I realized was, 114 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 1: in the context of the gym, I was actually smarter 115 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,240 Speaker 1: than them. In the context of the gym, I was 116 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 1: more competent than them. I knew more. I had more 117 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 1: skill and knowledge and understanding and awareness. So as I 118 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 1: started to lean into the thing that I was scared 119 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 1: of and I tried to understand it, I realized that 120 00:07:54,800 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 1: it was a fear that was probably reasonable, definitely not necessary, 121 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 1: and one that had really been created by something in me, 122 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:14,320 Speaker 1: rather than any kind of external need or any external 123 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 1: experience or situation. Because the truth was, despite the fact 124 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,680 Speaker 1: that I was overthinking the shit out of it, I 125 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 1: didn't demonstrate that to my clients. Of course, I was 126 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 1: like the little fucking duck that was all calm on 127 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 1: the surface above the water, but you know, crazy underneath it. 128 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:36,840 Speaker 1: But over time I tried to separate the anxiety and 129 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 1: the emotion around that to actually see the data, and 130 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:44,560 Speaker 1: the data was I was producing pretty good results and 131 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 1: most of my clients were pretty happy. All right, So 132 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:55,479 Speaker 1: let's go to self doubt and self loathing, the experience 133 00:08:55,600 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 1: of not feeling good enough or feeling like crap arm 134 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 1: a piece of crap, I'm not good enough, I'm not 135 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: smart enough. That's also pervasive. That's most of us at 136 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,439 Speaker 1: some stage. I don't think it's most of us most 137 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,720 Speaker 1: of the time, but I think it's nearly all of 138 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 1: us some of the time where we have that experience. 139 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 1: And this ties into what I was just talking about 140 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:23,679 Speaker 1: with overthinking. They'd probably intersect. But you know, this self doubtness, 141 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:28,479 Speaker 1: self kind of loathing, it can come out of an experience, 142 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: or it can just be a projection that we have. 143 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 1: It might be a result of the way that we've 144 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 1: been programmed or spoken to, or the environment that we 145 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:42,360 Speaker 1: grew up in, or a situation or a circumstance or 146 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 1: a social group or a school or peers where we 147 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 1: were made to feel not enough or not smart, or 148 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:53,960 Speaker 1: not something enough, and then that imprints on our version 149 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 1: of how we see the world and how we see 150 00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 1: us in the world. And while well that is understandable, 151 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 1: that becomes a big problem, That becomes a big form 152 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:09,760 Speaker 1: of self sabotage when we believe that story, when we 153 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:14,439 Speaker 1: believe that story, and this requires courage that we challenge 154 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,920 Speaker 1: those stories. And so if I feel I'm not good enough, 155 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:24,439 Speaker 1: for example, self doubt or self loathing, that's okay, But 156 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: I also need to be brave enough to go maybe 157 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 1: that's not true. Or have I tried? Have I done 158 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 1: everything possible? Have I really explored my talent and my 159 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 1: potential and my possibilities? Have I really made hard decisions, 160 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 1: done hard things? Have I really really tried to exploit 161 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: what I have to? And generally the answer is no, 162 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:52,160 Speaker 1: I haven't. And that's because of that fear based self 163 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:56,640 Speaker 1: doubt and self loathing, that irrational kind of internal dialogue 164 00:10:56,720 --> 00:11:01,440 Speaker 1: of I'm not enough, which keeps me trapped on the 165 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,440 Speaker 1: wrong side of the door, so I never open the 166 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:06,719 Speaker 1: door and step into my power and possibilities because my 167 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 1: story that I believe. Remember, we talk all the times 168 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,439 Speaker 1: about all the time about what is your story, Where 169 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:16,000 Speaker 1: did the story come from? What's the underlying kind of 170 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 1: mechanism for that story? Usually fear, self doubt, self loathing, 171 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 1: all of that stuff, of course, And then is that 172 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 1: story actually true or do I just think it's true? Now, 173 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 1: if you actually have a lot of ability, or you 174 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 1: have more ability than you know, or more potential than 175 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:37,560 Speaker 1: you know, and more possibilities than you know, but you 176 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 1: never even entertain the thought that that could be possible, 177 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:45,560 Speaker 1: then that becomes your ceiling. Your ceiling in this instance 178 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 1: is not what's possible for you. That's not your ceiling 179 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:53,319 Speaker 1: what is actually possible for you, but rather your understanding 180 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: of or belief about what is possible for you, Which 181 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 1: is why we see people go through their whole life 182 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: living in a self created psychological and emotional and behavioral 183 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:07,440 Speaker 1: prison where they never get out of that prison. Not 184 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 1: because they don't have the potential for freedom or for growth, 185 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 1: or for improvement, or for success or for joy, but 186 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 1: because for a range of usually fear based let's talk 187 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:23,520 Speaker 1: about fear in a moment, but fear based reasons they 188 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 1: stay in there. You have to remember, right, with all 189 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 1: of this stuff, there's what's going on in the world, 190 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 1: and then there's our version of what's going on in 191 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:34,559 Speaker 1: the world. So there's the thing, and then there's my 192 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 1: story of the thing. You and I are around a 193 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:41,440 Speaker 1: situation or event, you and me, and the thing happens, 194 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 1: and then there's you over there and you're watching it, 195 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 1: and I'm watching it, and you're telling yourself a story 196 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,679 Speaker 1: about what's going on, and I'm telling myself a story 197 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 1: about what's going on. So you're in your self created 198 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: reality about that external event or situation or stimulus, and 199 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 1: I'm over here in my story, which is my reality. 200 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:07,079 Speaker 1: So there's your reality, my reality, then the objective data 201 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 1: or the objective reality of what the fuck is actually 202 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 1: going on outside of your story and my story. And 203 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 1: being able to understand ourselves and understand the way that 204 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 1: the world works. One what is objectively happening, and then 205 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:29,320 Speaker 1: two to understand how we subjectively and often unconsciously and 206 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 1: unknowingly navigate this objective reality through our subjective lens. That 207 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:39,120 Speaker 1: is our brain, that is our mind, that is our filter, 208 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,240 Speaker 1: that is our beliefs, that is our ideas, that is 209 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:47,200 Speaker 1: our biases while not actually in the moment realizing that 210 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,320 Speaker 1: we're even fucking looking through that lens. That's why we 211 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 1: think our reality is the reality. And so this is 212 00:13:56,160 --> 00:14:01,439 Speaker 1: crucial for us, is to is to even to begin 213 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 1: to recognize that we are running a program. You know, 214 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:13,120 Speaker 1: your brain is the hardware, Your brain is the hard drive. 215 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 1: I should say, I'm not a computer guy, so if 216 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:19,120 Speaker 1: I fuck up this analogy a little bit. But the 217 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 1: program is the software that's been punched into your brain 218 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 1: and your mind and your physiology. And sometimes we grow 219 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:30,520 Speaker 1: up running a program that we didn't choose. We're running 220 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:34,720 Speaker 1: someone else's program. That person who said to you your 221 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:39,520 Speaker 1: shit a thousand times, and now you believe that your shit. Well, 222 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:43,560 Speaker 1: the truth is you are not shit. But also the 223 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:47,080 Speaker 1: truth is you think you are, or you believe you are. 224 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 1: So guess what you live in. You live in this 225 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:55,720 Speaker 1: self created and influenced by others, of course, But this 226 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 1: self created story, or this self created belief that is 227 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:05,040 Speaker 1: in itself a form of self sabotage. Now that's no 228 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 1: criticism from me to you. We can't overcome the things 229 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,760 Speaker 1: that we don't see. And so if we don't know, 230 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 1: like if I don't know, if Craig Harper doesn't know 231 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,280 Speaker 1: that he is looking at the world through a lens, 232 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:24,200 Speaker 1: I'm not looking at the world. I'm looking at a 233 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:29,520 Speaker 1: version of the world that I create. I am looking 234 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 1: through the lens, or through the window, or through the filter, 235 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 1: or whatever fucking metaphor you want to use. I'm looking 236 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:39,000 Speaker 1: through something. And what is that something that lends that window, 237 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 1: that filter? What is that built of? That is built 238 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,520 Speaker 1: of all of the shit that's in my mind, my 239 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 1: ideas and beliefs and fears and phobias and bullshit and 240 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 1: biases and likes and dislikes and faith and religious programming 241 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:58,080 Speaker 1: and experiences and relationships and self doubt and all of 242 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 1: that fucking in turn, and all kind of stuff that 243 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 1: that shapes and influences and to a degree controls what 244 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:12,400 Speaker 1: I'm seeing and how I am making meaning of and 245 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 1: interpreting what goes on outside my head. And you're doing 246 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 1: the same. You're doing the same. You've been programmed. I've 247 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 1: been programmed. Some of the programming has been good for 248 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,480 Speaker 1: some of us. Some of us had really good programming. 249 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,360 Speaker 1: We got programmed with great shit. Some of it was 250 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:35,840 Speaker 1: somewhat neutral or innocuous, and some of it was really 251 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 1: fucking limiting and debilitating and horrible. I didn't have any 252 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,320 Speaker 1: of the horrible. I had some that wasn't so good, 253 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 1: But I know some of you had the horrible. And 254 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,800 Speaker 1: if we could wave a wand and that would be 255 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: all undone and gone, we would do that. But we can't. 256 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 1: And so what we do is we acknowledge what is 257 00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 1: was it isn't now now. That doesn't fix it or 258 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 1: change it, but just being able to start to see you. 259 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 1: My question to you is where does your programming finish? 260 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 1: And where do you start? Where are you the critical, beautiful, 261 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 1: amazing conscious, critical thinking, amazing, beautiful human right Where are you? 262 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 1: And where is that programming? Where's the space between you 263 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,719 Speaker 1: and it? Because you don't have to be it, You 264 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 1: don't have to become it. You don't need to continue 265 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 1: to be a version of your programming. You can change 266 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 1: your mind, you can learn new things, you can unlearn 267 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 1: old things, you can detox your brain and your mind. 268 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,719 Speaker 1: It is an easy, quick, fun or painless, but you 269 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 1: can fucking do it, and a lot of you want 270 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,440 Speaker 1: to do it, which is why you listen to this. 271 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,800 Speaker 1: I am not the answer to anything or for anybody. 272 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,240 Speaker 1: Of course, I am just a guy who talks about 273 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:01,959 Speaker 1: these things. The answer is not Craig Harper or any individual. 274 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,760 Speaker 1: The answer, well, there is an individual and you are 275 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,399 Speaker 1: the answer. The individual is you. The individual is you, 276 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:14,960 Speaker 1: and you think about this. How many people listen to, 277 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,520 Speaker 1: for example, me talk. Let's say one hundred people come 278 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:21,119 Speaker 1: and hear me talk. And let's say I kill it. 279 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,679 Speaker 1: Let's say I'm on this particular day, I'm fucking flying, 280 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:28,320 Speaker 1: I crush it, I'm wise, I'm funny. The story is 281 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,840 Speaker 1: a great, the information it's great. Most of what gets 282 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,520 Speaker 1: said is kind of broadly relevant to the group. It's 283 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,080 Speaker 1: a bit inspiring, it's a bit fucking interesting. There's some 284 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:41,120 Speaker 1: awesome science. And let's say that a hundred people out 285 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:44,399 Speaker 1: of one hundred people can take away significant stuff on 286 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 1: that day. Let's also say that one hundred people that 287 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,719 Speaker 1: showed up actually want to do, be and think different. 288 00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:54,400 Speaker 1: They came because they wanted to change. Now, with all 289 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:59,440 Speaker 1: of those things that I just said, how many lives 290 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:03,720 Speaker 1: and how many people will actually change off the back 291 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:08,320 Speaker 1: of that day, like I mean changed, not like a 292 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,840 Speaker 1: bit of a momentary change of direction, and back on 293 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 1: the status quo or back into that operational or psychological 294 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,919 Speaker 1: or neural groove, like that brain groove that we just 295 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:20,400 Speaker 1: that habitual groove that we live in. But how many 296 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 1: people will actually really fucking change even though everyone said 297 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,159 Speaker 1: I want to change, I want to think different, I 298 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,639 Speaker 1: want to be different, I want to do different. I 299 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:34,199 Speaker 1: don't have a number for you, but I do I 300 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,639 Speaker 1: do know that the number would be somewhere between zero 301 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 1: and fucking three or four. Despite the fact right now, 302 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 1: let's say three people change their life after this three 303 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 1: hour encounter with Craig Harper. Did I do that? I 304 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 1: sure didn't. And am I responsible for the ninety seven 305 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:59,159 Speaker 1: that didn't change their life? I'm sure not. I didn't 306 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,720 Speaker 1: do it. I didn't do it either way. I was 307 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,400 Speaker 1: just a guy who showed up and said a lot 308 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 1: of stuff. And then you the listener, you the attendee, 309 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,280 Speaker 1: you the viewer, whatever the thing is, or the one 310 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,639 Speaker 1: hundred people or the person watching the video or the 311 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: person on YouTube, or the person doing the PhD or 312 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,399 Speaker 1: the person reading the book or the person on the 313 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,920 Speaker 1: end of the podcast. Always it comes down to what 314 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:24,639 Speaker 1: we do. What we do. Yes, we've got to know stuff, 315 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,679 Speaker 1: Yes we need the odd support system and you know, 316 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 1: the odd pad on the back. But it still comes 317 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:37,120 Speaker 1: down to what we do. And you know, the hard 318 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:40,960 Speaker 1: truth is that it's like stuff happens to us that 319 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 1: kind of sucks and isn't fair and isn't nice. And 320 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:48,439 Speaker 1: we're not pretending that it's easy. It fucking isn't easy. 321 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 1: And that's the truth. It's not easy to change your life. 322 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,399 Speaker 1: And this is not a very smart thing for me 323 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,240 Speaker 1: to say, because a lot of people really want us 324 00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,200 Speaker 1: to say, oh, you can fucking do anything and be 325 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,360 Speaker 1: anything and anything. Well, that's not true either. That's bullshit. 326 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,920 Speaker 1: That's just self help, fucking fairy floss that people think 327 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,280 Speaker 1: will sell programs and books and whatever. It isn't true. 328 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,040 Speaker 1: Can most people do more than they're currently doing and 329 00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:17,520 Speaker 1: achieve better than they're currently achieving? I believe so yes? 330 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:23,040 Speaker 1: Are you probably in that majority? Probably? Yes? Can you 331 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,400 Speaker 1: do fucking anything? No? Can I do anything? No? Can 332 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,480 Speaker 1: I do a lot more? Yeah? Can you do a 333 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 1: lot more? Can you be braver? Can you make harder decisions? 334 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,719 Speaker 1: Can you get out of your own way? Can you 335 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:38,120 Speaker 1: stop procrastinating? Can you stop chasing pleasure? Can you stop 336 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,479 Speaker 1: wasting your potential? Can you stop being a perfectionist and 337 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:45,359 Speaker 1: inventing problems? Can you be a lifelong learner? Can you 338 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 1: be the person who stops avoiding things? Can you be 339 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,520 Speaker 1: the person who doesn't start and stop thirteen times the 340 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,959 Speaker 1: same process? Yes, you can. You can be that, You 341 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,880 Speaker 1: can do that, you can change that, you can become. 342 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:04,840 Speaker 1: That is that easy? No Ah, I'm out? Then, see 343 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 1: this is the problem. Everyone's all fucking you know, rah rah, 344 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,560 Speaker 1: Let's walk on fucking hot coals and let's pump the 345 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 1: smoke screen and get the rock music going, and let's 346 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:19,440 Speaker 1: high five each other, and let's be all fucking positive 347 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:25,480 Speaker 1: until until the bullshit fades and we go okay. So 348 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,359 Speaker 1: the next six months for me is going to be 349 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:31,199 Speaker 1: uncomfortable at times, or the next three months, or this 350 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,880 Speaker 1: thing that I need to do to live my values, 351 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 1: remember my values, those things I identified, Well, the things 352 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,359 Speaker 1: that I need to do are not the things I 353 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,879 Speaker 1: want to do. And the things that I need to 354 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,960 Speaker 1: do won't be fun or quick or easy or painless. 355 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:49,880 Speaker 1: I have this real obsession with instant gratification and pleasure 356 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:54,440 Speaker 1: in the moment and hedonism. I love self indulgence, I 357 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:58,960 Speaker 1: love dopamine. Fucking cascading through my brain. I love that. 358 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,560 Speaker 1: I just want to feel good, and I'm going to 359 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,680 Speaker 1: just do whatever the fuck feels good. And then I'm 360 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 1: fifty and I'm fucked because what I've been doing for 361 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,560 Speaker 1: twenty years is just whatever feels good in the moment. 362 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:15,800 Speaker 1: Because I can't delay gratification. I can't wait, I can't 363 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,359 Speaker 1: get out of my own way. So I am self 364 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 1: sabotaging with hedonism. I am self sabotaging with this drive 365 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:28,760 Speaker 1: for instant gratification and pleasure. I can't I can't fucking wait. 366 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 1: I can't wait. And this is what we the collective. 367 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,960 Speaker 1: We not all all of us and not all of 368 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,040 Speaker 1: the time, but a lot of us do. We need 369 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:44,720 Speaker 1: to stop avoiding things that we should start. We need 370 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:50,520 Speaker 1: to practically acknowledge what is well? What is is? I 371 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:54,960 Speaker 1: am at least part of the problem. I need to 372 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,240 Speaker 1: take my head out of the sand. I need to 373 00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:01,760 Speaker 1: be brave. Yes, I'm scared. Guess what. Welcome to the 374 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 1: world's biggest club. Put up your hand. If you're in 375 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,200 Speaker 1: the I Get Scared club. That's fucking every human because 376 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:11,240 Speaker 1: we all get scared. Guess what. Courage can only operate 377 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:14,200 Speaker 1: in the presence of fear? Is that a lame fucking 378 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:17,920 Speaker 1: cliche things say don't care? Is it true? Absolutely true? 379 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,120 Speaker 1: Do you want to be If you were in front 380 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:22,400 Speaker 1: of me and I said to you, do you want 381 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,119 Speaker 1: to be courageous? I'm almost positive that every one of 382 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,520 Speaker 1: you would say, Yeah, I want to be courageous, Which 383 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:32,320 Speaker 1: is not to say I want to be fearless, which 384 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 1: is not say I feel brave, which is not to 385 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,439 Speaker 1: say I don't get scared every day. It's not to 386 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,480 Speaker 1: say that. It's to say I want to be courageous. Well, 387 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:45,680 Speaker 1: I'm telling you you being courageous is part of the solution. 388 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:51,800 Speaker 1: You allowing fear and overthinking and self loathing and self 389 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:55,560 Speaker 1: doubt to run your life. That is you self sabotaging, 390 00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 1: That is you letting something other than your potential contry things, 391 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:06,200 Speaker 1: manage things. We need to you need to. I need 392 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:10,200 Speaker 1: to stop waiting for the mystical, mythical, magical right time. 393 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:14,880 Speaker 1: We need to stop avoiding and procrastinating and waiting and 394 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 1: telling ourselves stories about the thing that we're going to 395 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:22,680 Speaker 1: do for fucking ten years, and then we look up 396 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,560 Speaker 1: and it's years later and we're still not doing the 397 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:29,520 Speaker 1: thing that we've been talking about doing, but a lightbulb 398 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,199 Speaker 1: never comes on where we go, Oh, hang on the 399 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:37,280 Speaker 1: problem as me, because the problems always for some people, 400 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:42,120 Speaker 1: the problems always anything except them. If there's any way 401 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,840 Speaker 1: I can blame someone or something for what I'm not doing, 402 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,800 Speaker 1: for what I'm not addressing, for what I'm not owning 403 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:53,000 Speaker 1: up to, then I will blame something or someone else 404 00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:56,320 Speaker 1: because that takes the spotlight off me, and I don't 405 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,639 Speaker 1: want the spotlight off me. And by the way, Craig, 406 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:03,479 Speaker 1: fuck you, you don't understand my situation. Giddy up and 407 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:07,680 Speaker 1: now it's another five years. We don't need to beat 408 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,359 Speaker 1: ourselves up. We don't need to be self loathing. We 409 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:14,800 Speaker 1: just need to be self aware. We need to be brave, 410 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,600 Speaker 1: we need to be courageous. We need to own up 411 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:27,280 Speaker 1: to our own bullshit. Things don't work themselves out. I 412 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:32,080 Speaker 1: fell off the wagon. No, you didn't fall and there 413 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:36,920 Speaker 1: is no wagon. You made a decision to do something, 414 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,879 Speaker 1: and then you did the something. That is a critically 415 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:44,119 Speaker 1: thought through and a conscious process where you made a decision, 416 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,600 Speaker 1: you did a thing, and there was a consequence to that. 417 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:51,879 Speaker 1: I'm not insulting you or criticizing you. I am acknowledging 418 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,520 Speaker 1: what is real. What is real is that there is 419 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:58,040 Speaker 1: no metaphoric or literal fucking wagon that you fell off. 420 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,639 Speaker 1: What is real is that and I've done it? Have 421 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,400 Speaker 1: I eaten food? Have I made decisions? Have I spoken 422 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,160 Speaker 1: to people in a way that or have I been 423 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,760 Speaker 1: inconsistent with my goals and my intentions? Yes? I have. 424 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:17,959 Speaker 1: Did somebody make me do it? No? Was it was 425 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:23,600 Speaker 1: anything or anyone the problem other than me? No? Are 426 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:27,560 Speaker 1: their challenges? Yes? Are their speed, humps and bumps? Yes? 427 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:32,680 Speaker 1: Are there? Are there things that complications that went? Yes? Fuck? Yes? 428 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:38,280 Speaker 1: Is it easy? Fuck? No? Of course? Of course it's hard. 429 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 1: Of course, people get sick. Of course, people will bully you. 430 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,840 Speaker 1: Of Course, shit is unfair. Of course, it's going to 431 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:46,840 Speaker 1: rain when you want it to be sunny. Of Course, 432 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,160 Speaker 1: it's going to be fuck fucking dark when you want 433 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,199 Speaker 1: it to be light. Of course, this is the messiness 434 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 1: of life. But if you wait, and I wait till 435 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:58,439 Speaker 1: everything's fucking great, till it's sunny, till the birds are chirping, 436 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:01,440 Speaker 1: the bees are buzzing, there there is no problem. There 437 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:05,640 Speaker 1: is no mess, there is no mayhem, there are no obstacles. 438 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:07,480 Speaker 1: You'll be dead, and I'll be dead and you will 439 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:12,800 Speaker 1: have done fuck all. And you know that, you know that, 440 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 1: you know some of you maybe you're the exception to this. 441 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:22,920 Speaker 1: And if you are the exception, then genuinely, fucking I'm 442 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,040 Speaker 1: jealous and I'm proud of you. But if you like me, 443 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,960 Speaker 1: and you like most people, you're wasting something right now. 444 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 1: You're wasting your potential, or you're wasting your genetics, or 445 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:37,520 Speaker 1: you're wasting your time or some of your time. You're 446 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:41,120 Speaker 1: not developing and exploring what you have to work with. 447 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:44,640 Speaker 1: You're not optimizing your genetics or your courage, or your 448 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 1: intelligence or your creativity. You're not You're not even close. 449 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:56,320 Speaker 1: You're wasting that. And there's some story somewhere that's stopping 450 00:28:56,360 --> 00:29:07,000 Speaker 1: you from doing that. I guess I'm not going to 451 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:12,200 Speaker 1: bang on too much longer, but I mean one it's 452 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:16,360 Speaker 1: going to apologize. Do I need to apologize? Okay, well, 453 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,240 Speaker 1: maybe I don't need to apologize, but I just want 454 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:22,160 Speaker 1: to say my intention with these episodes, with these solo 455 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,200 Speaker 1: ones is and I know I bang on and there 456 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,520 Speaker 1: may be a bit of repetition I apologize, but is 457 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 1: that I want to help you to understand yourself I 458 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 1: want to encourage you and support you that you are 459 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,600 Speaker 1: the answer I want. I want you know if you 460 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,240 Speaker 1: listen to me, and if you connect with me and 461 00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:41,760 Speaker 1: you follow me because you want to be a better 462 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:45,640 Speaker 1: version of you, then then it is my intention to 463 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 1: be real with you, to be practical with you. To 464 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,600 Speaker 1: you know, as I've said many times, if you never 465 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,760 Speaker 1: buy a book, if you never come to a workshop, 466 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,160 Speaker 1: if you never spend one cent in the world of 467 00:29:56,200 --> 00:30:00,160 Speaker 1: Craig Harper, you have just as much of my my 468 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:06,160 Speaker 1: commitment and energy and integrity as anyone. As anyone I 469 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,360 Speaker 1: don't give a flying fuck if you never buy anything. 470 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,960 Speaker 1: But if you listen to me and you follow me 471 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:16,160 Speaker 1: and you respect me, one, thank you. You don't need 472 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:20,760 Speaker 1: to that's a choice. But two, I genuinely I feel 473 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 1: my calling is to do what I'm doing right now. 474 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,520 Speaker 1: My calling is not to make money. I need to 475 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,200 Speaker 1: make money because that's how the world works, and go 476 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,720 Speaker 1: pays the bills and motorbikes aren't free, of course, we 477 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:40,600 Speaker 1: know that. But you know, maybe maybe this podcast is 478 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:45,720 Speaker 1: an opportunity for you to to do a little bit 479 00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:50,360 Speaker 1: of a stock take and to maybe think about a 480 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:55,200 Speaker 1: few things that I've said, and to maybe bravely try 481 00:30:55,200 --> 00:31:00,120 Speaker 1: to identify some of the ways specifically that you are 482 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,960 Speaker 1: getting in your own way, that you are self sabotaging, 483 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:09,080 Speaker 1: that you are you know. Another one just popped into 484 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:12,800 Speaker 1: my mind, which I still do sometimes but far less, 485 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,440 Speaker 1: but the way that you people please the way that 486 00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,400 Speaker 1: I people please, Please love me, please like me, please 487 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,240 Speaker 1: accept me, please let me belong. And then it's in 488 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,360 Speaker 1: all of that neediness and that anxiety and that drive 489 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,640 Speaker 1: to be part of something that's bigger than me and 490 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:30,720 Speaker 1: to be recognized and loved and accepted, that I compromise 491 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:35,360 Speaker 1: my own fucking self. I become a patch of a 492 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,920 Speaker 1: group rather than just me. It's like, how about this. 493 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,880 Speaker 1: I'm just going to live my values. I'm still going 494 00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:43,200 Speaker 1: to be a thoughtful person and a kind person. I'm 495 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,040 Speaker 1: not going to be a fucking island in the middle 496 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,960 Speaker 1: of humanity. I'm not going to be that. But I'm 497 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:51,240 Speaker 1: not going to pretend to be something to fit into 498 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,680 Speaker 1: your group. And I'm not going to agree with you 499 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:56,840 Speaker 1: just for the sake of agreeing with you. If I 500 00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,720 Speaker 1: don't agree with you, that doesn't mean I'm right and 501 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:01,640 Speaker 1: you're wrong, or I'm good and you're bad. That just 502 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:04,080 Speaker 1: means we don't think the same on that. And guess what, 503 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:09,320 Speaker 1: that's fucking okay. Feeling compelled to please everyone and agree 504 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:14,000 Speaker 1: with everyone, Oh my god self, sabotage one oh one 505 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 1: that'll probably do. Love your collective guts to see you 506 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:18,560 Speaker 1: next time.