1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281 Speaker 1: Apoday production. 2 00:00:10,121 --> 00:00:13,521 Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the 3 00:00:13,601 --> 00:00:16,441 Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects 4 00:00:16,481 --> 00:00:19,641 Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect 5 00:00:19,721 --> 00:00:25,441 Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today. Welcome 6 00:00:25,481 --> 00:00:28,801 Speaker 2: to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara. 7 00:00:28,961 --> 00:00:31,321 Speaker 2: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level 8 00:00:31,361 --> 00:00:31,841 Speaker 2: up together. 9 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,641 Speaker 1: Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, and find the 10 00:00:34,681 --> 00:00:37,481 Speaker 1: lessons to grow and Glow. Nothing is off the table 11 00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:44,281 Speaker 1: with Grow and Glow, and we're here to be your expander. Hey, guys, 12 00:00:44,321 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 1: welcome back to our show. 13 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:46,481 Speaker 2: Welcome back. 14 00:00:46,561 --> 00:00:47,321 Speaker 1: Let's a share of the week. 15 00:00:47,361 --> 00:00:47,921 Speaker 2: Share of the week. 16 00:00:48,001 --> 00:00:50,921 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, what's yours? 17 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,520 Speaker 2: Mine is what you just ate? 18 00:00:54,641 --> 00:00:57,481 Speaker 1: Guys. So delicious, But it's not even going to sound 19 00:00:57,561 --> 00:00:59,481 Speaker 1: that good. I gotta try it. 20 00:00:59,481 --> 00:01:02,721 Speaker 2: It's so so good. I've been absolutely hooked. We've been 21 00:01:02,721 --> 00:01:05,761 Speaker 2: having it every single morning and then this morning I 22 00:01:05,761 --> 00:01:06,681 Speaker 2: said to ask You'm like, I'm. 23 00:01:06,521 --> 00:01:07,401 Speaker 1: Bringing you this breakfast. 24 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,121 Speaker 2: You're going to be obsessed with it. 25 00:01:09,121 --> 00:01:11,121 Speaker 1: It was amazing, Like shock. 26 00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,041 Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't sound like good when you think about 27 00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:13,601 Speaker 2: the ingredient. 28 00:01:13,761 --> 00:01:15,761 Speaker 1: Sounds like it's got WeetBix and it's soggy wheatbix. 29 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 2: No, they go like creamy, nearly thick, guey. So basically 30 00:01:22,481 --> 00:01:25,201 Speaker 2: all it is is it's two weetbis crushed up. Then 31 00:01:25,241 --> 00:01:28,281 Speaker 2: you add milk, pat it down. You add in some 32 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,681 Speaker 2: yo pro yogurt, some vanilla one vanilla yep for the 33 00:01:31,721 --> 00:01:33,961 Speaker 2: vanilla one, I have tried with sold caramel as well. 34 00:01:34,041 --> 00:01:37,321 Speaker 2: Vanilla's definitely better, yes, and then some vanilla protein powder. 35 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,961 Speaker 2: Mix it all in, layer it on top, and then 36 00:01:40,041 --> 00:01:43,001 Speaker 2: you drizzle some bisc off and crush up a biscof 37 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,720 Speaker 2: picky and guys, it tastes like a cheesecake, like a 38 00:01:45,761 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 2: Biscof cheesecake. 39 00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:50,281 Speaker 1: It's delicious, the whole texture experience, and it's so filling. 40 00:01:50,481 --> 00:01:53,041 Speaker 1: It's so filling. Really, I'm protein like probably at least 41 00:01:53,081 --> 00:01:55,961 Speaker 1: twenty twenty five grams I'm assuming with the yogurt and protein. 42 00:01:56,201 --> 00:01:57,281 Speaker 1: It's so good and. 43 00:01:57,161 --> 00:01:58,961 Speaker 2: It's so easy, Like it's one of those ones where 44 00:01:58,961 --> 00:02:00,121 Speaker 2: you can just take it on the run, so. 45 00:02:00,241 --> 00:02:02,401 Speaker 1: Meal prep go. It's so good to meal prep with. 46 00:02:02,601 --> 00:02:05,321 Speaker 2: So that's just been my new go to. We've been 47 00:02:05,321 --> 00:02:07,321 Speaker 2: doing it probably like a month now and we're just hooked. 48 00:02:07,041 --> 00:02:08,601 Speaker 1: And yeah, if you don't have a lot of time 49 00:02:08,961 --> 00:02:10,481 Speaker 1: to make breaky in the morning. That's something you can 50 00:02:10,521 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 1: do the night before and like, I'll literally take you 51 00:02:11,961 --> 00:02:12,601 Speaker 1: a couple of minutes. 52 00:02:12,641 --> 00:02:14,161 Speaker 2: Actually, that's one thing you do need to live at 53 00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 2: rest overnight in the fridge. 54 00:02:15,281 --> 00:02:17,361 Speaker 1: Yeah, you said it's better when it's straight out, straight 55 00:02:17,401 --> 00:02:18,001 Speaker 1: out of the fridge. 56 00:02:18,041 --> 00:02:19,321 Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, next time you try it, you're gonna like 57 00:02:19,361 --> 00:02:21,481 Speaker 2: it even Yeah. 58 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,481 Speaker 1: My Share of the Week is just a lip combo. 59 00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,241 Speaker 1: Every time I wear it, everyone asks what it is, 60 00:02:25,281 --> 00:02:28,761 Speaker 1: but it's literally a lipliner and balm. So it's the 61 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,601 Speaker 1: mac whirl, which I feel like with lipliners and lipsticks, 62 00:02:32,601 --> 00:02:34,321 Speaker 1: you do have to find one that suits your lip 63 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,201 Speaker 1: because it depending on the pigment in your natural lip. 64 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,081 Speaker 1: Well for me is like my natural lip but a 65 00:02:38,161 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 1: bit darker. Yeah, but that with the hideaway lip bum. 66 00:02:40,721 --> 00:02:44,481 Speaker 1: Oh cool there like balmie a little bit glossy, super hydrated, 67 00:02:44,561 --> 00:02:46,281 Speaker 1: but you've got the liner to just give a little 68 00:02:46,281 --> 00:02:48,481 Speaker 1: bit more depth. Yes, that combo is like one of 69 00:02:48,481 --> 00:02:49,761 Speaker 1: my favorite combos at the moment. 70 00:02:50,321 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, a little bit more like a natural looking like 71 00:02:53,401 --> 00:02:54,641 Speaker 2: when you have a barm or something. It just looks 72 00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:55,361 Speaker 2: a little bit more natural. 73 00:02:55,441 --> 00:02:57,321 Speaker 1: Yeah, like, there's times where I want a more bolder 74 00:02:57,321 --> 00:02:59,121 Speaker 1: lip and I'll use lipstick as well, but I from 75 00:02:59,121 --> 00:03:00,441 Speaker 1: just like day to day or like the lip line 76 00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,161 Speaker 1: is smuge, just for a bit of color, and then 77 00:03:02,161 --> 00:03:04,400 Speaker 1: the barm just to be hydrated. Oh so good. 78 00:03:04,481 --> 00:03:06,161 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love my lipsticks and wliplines. 79 00:03:06,281 --> 00:03:13,281 Speaker 1: We both do like lipsticks, liplinerslip arms. All right, buckling guys, 80 00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:17,520 Speaker 1: buckle in. We've got a lot to talk about today, 81 00:03:17,641 --> 00:03:21,481 Speaker 1: and I suppose the main whole episode in a Nutshell 82 00:03:21,641 --> 00:03:25,761 Speaker 1: is about change and just some questions we've been asking ourselves. 83 00:03:25,761 --> 00:03:27,241 Speaker 1: And one of the biggest ones that Kara and I 84 00:03:27,281 --> 00:03:29,881 Speaker 1: keep discussing is are we missing out on the best 85 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,201 Speaker 1: years of our kids' lives because we work a lot 86 00:03:33,641 --> 00:03:37,521 Speaker 1: and just once again finding that balance and juggling at all. 87 00:03:37,921 --> 00:03:40,121 Speaker 1: And I feel like you and I do do a 88 00:03:40,241 --> 00:03:42,361 Speaker 1: really good job at it because we get a lot 89 00:03:42,401 --> 00:03:44,001 Speaker 1: of quality time with our kids. And I think that 90 00:03:44,081 --> 00:03:45,761 Speaker 1: is one of the benefits of having your own businesses. 91 00:03:45,761 --> 00:03:48,681 Speaker 1: You've got that flexibility, you can work your own hours. 92 00:03:49,121 --> 00:03:53,201 Speaker 1: But it's still a lot. And for the last month, 93 00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:56,401 Speaker 1: I've just been feeling out of alignment. I've been not 94 00:03:56,441 --> 00:04:01,561 Speaker 1: feeling good I've been feeling really exhausted, really stretched, stressed, 95 00:04:01,961 --> 00:04:04,401 Speaker 1: and things that I used to enjoy I'm just not 96 00:04:04,521 --> 00:04:07,241 Speaker 1: enjoying any more in my work life. And it's not 97 00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:10,241 Speaker 1: the product, it's not the brand, it's not anything like that. 98 00:04:10,321 --> 00:04:12,881 Speaker 1: It's just I'm doing so much, and I've done so 99 00:04:13,041 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 1: much for so long. I'm just tired. I'm tired. I 100 00:04:16,961 --> 00:04:19,241 Speaker 1: feel like I'm like burnt out, and I've had my 101 00:04:19,241 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 1: foot on the pedal for so long. And I feel 102 00:04:21,641 --> 00:04:25,161 Speaker 1: like the bigger your brand grows, the more logistics and 103 00:04:25,201 --> 00:04:28,601 Speaker 1: stress that comes with it. And I'm a very creative 104 00:04:28,641 --> 00:04:33,041 Speaker 1: person and my passion lies within creation, adding value to 105 00:04:33,041 --> 00:04:38,241 Speaker 1: people's lives, education, inspiration, connection, community. But I feel like 106 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,961 Speaker 1: the last couple of years I've been more involved in 107 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: running the business, especially since I've taken over Baseline without 108 00:04:44,681 --> 00:04:48,481 Speaker 1: my own business partner, cash flow, managing a big team, 109 00:04:48,921 --> 00:04:51,721 Speaker 1: and there's just so much to do all the time 110 00:04:51,761 --> 00:04:53,601 Speaker 1: that it's kind of I feel like I've lost my 111 00:04:53,681 --> 00:04:56,960 Speaker 1: creative sparkle. And I feel like I'm so stressed so 112 00:04:57,121 --> 00:05:00,241 Speaker 1: often now. And I do have quite a large capacity 113 00:05:00,241 --> 00:05:02,201 Speaker 1: to be able to handle a lot of stress, but 114 00:05:02,241 --> 00:05:05,481 Speaker 1: even if I mentally can handle it, my body to 115 00:05:05,521 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 1: not Yeah, I just started having moments where I was just, yeah, 116 00:05:08,921 --> 00:05:11,601 Speaker 1: crying and just feeling a bit lost and not knowing 117 00:05:11,601 --> 00:05:13,641 Speaker 1: how to change things up because I feel like I've 118 00:05:13,641 --> 00:05:16,321 Speaker 1: got all these responsibilities on my shoulders and a lot 119 00:05:16,361 --> 00:05:18,161 Speaker 1: of the work that I do, no one else can 120 00:05:18,161 --> 00:05:21,201 Speaker 1: be ashy binds like I can't just like delegate to someone. 121 00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 1: And I felt really stuck and yeah, really really tired. 122 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,721 Speaker 1: And then it's funny how the universe works. I feel 123 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,281 Speaker 1: like I've been getting these little messages and whispers to 124 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,361 Speaker 1: slow down or to change things up, but I've kind 125 00:05:32,361 --> 00:05:34,561 Speaker 1: of not been ignoring them. I know they're there, but 126 00:05:34,641 --> 00:05:36,481 Speaker 1: I didn't know how to change them. I was like, 127 00:05:36,521 --> 00:05:38,161 Speaker 1: this is how I run the business. I don't know 128 00:05:38,201 --> 00:05:40,241 Speaker 1: how to slow down or not work as much. If 129 00:05:40,241 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 1: I don't work as much, won't get as much done, 130 00:05:42,081 --> 00:05:43,721 Speaker 1: we won't hit our deadlines, our goals. And I just 131 00:05:43,721 --> 00:05:46,600 Speaker 1: get so caled off in my head. But then, yeah, 132 00:05:46,841 --> 00:05:50,721 Speaker 1: last week I lost my eyesight three times in a week. 133 00:05:50,961 --> 00:05:53,641 Speaker 1: The first time it happened after I trained, so I thought, 134 00:05:53,681 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: and my neck was really tight, so I thought it 135 00:05:55,241 --> 00:05:57,601 Speaker 1: was just my tight neck that had caused it. But 136 00:05:57,641 --> 00:05:59,921 Speaker 1: it's really scary. It was like my whole left side 137 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:04,401 Speaker 1: went almost like pixelated and blurry, and then like little 138 00:06:04,481 --> 00:06:07,001 Speaker 1: shots of blacking out, but my right side I could 139 00:06:07,001 --> 00:06:10,161 Speaker 1: see anyways, I'd take a voltaire and lay down for 140 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,721 Speaker 1: an hour. It went away, And then two days later 141 00:06:12,761 --> 00:06:16,041 Speaker 1: I trained again, same thing happened, but on the other eye. 142 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,241 Speaker 1: I was like, this is so weird. So I panicked 143 00:06:18,281 --> 00:06:19,961 Speaker 1: quickly took a voltaire and I had a full day 144 00:06:20,001 --> 00:06:22,121 Speaker 1: of work. I had podcasts with Levi, I had a 145 00:06:22,201 --> 00:06:24,801 Speaker 1: team meeting, I had planning like I could not be 146 00:06:24,841 --> 00:06:27,121 Speaker 1: at work. Took a voltaire and got rid of it, 147 00:06:27,201 --> 00:06:30,561 Speaker 1: carried on with my day, and then that day Levi 148 00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:32,481 Speaker 1: actually said to me, I think you should go get 149 00:06:32,481 --> 00:06:35,161 Speaker 1: a scan. Yeah that's not normal, like go get it 150 00:06:35,241 --> 00:06:37,561 Speaker 1: checked down. I was like, yeah, I should. Hey, I'm sure. 151 00:06:37,561 --> 00:06:39,041 Speaker 1: I had intentions to get it done, but it was 152 00:06:39,041 --> 00:06:41,401 Speaker 1: not a priority that day. Then the Sunday, I was 153 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:45,721 Speaker 1: sitting at breakfast with Steve Talatage and Steve's mom and stepdad, 154 00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:48,681 Speaker 1: and as I'm talking to my father in law Stan, 155 00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I can't see the right hand side 156 00:06:52,761 --> 00:06:55,441 Speaker 1: of your body. And I couldn't see Marie Steve's mom. 157 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,121 Speaker 1: I was like, it's going blurry again, and he's like, 158 00:06:57,201 --> 00:06:59,121 Speaker 1: I get this all the time as well. It's migraines. 159 00:06:59,401 --> 00:07:02,361 Speaker 1: I was like, but there's no headache. And she had neurofins, 160 00:07:02,401 --> 00:07:04,640 Speaker 1: so she gave me neuropins straight away. But like once again, 161 00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:07,481 Speaker 1: it was pigged sated, blacking out, dark, and I had 162 00:07:07,521 --> 00:07:09,681 Speaker 1: to sit back, and at one point it started to 163 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,721 Speaker 1: migrate over to the left as well. So both were 164 00:07:11,761 --> 00:07:14,761 Speaker 1: going like that, and then I started getting really big headache, 165 00:07:15,041 --> 00:07:16,681 Speaker 1: so I just kind of put my head back. Tyler's 166 00:07:16,681 --> 00:07:18,281 Speaker 1: all over me, of course, but put my head back 167 00:07:18,281 --> 00:07:20,721 Speaker 1: and just close my eyes for a bit. And Steve's like, 168 00:07:20,761 --> 00:07:22,481 Speaker 1: let's just take you to the doctor. I just three 169 00:07:22,521 --> 00:07:24,401 Speaker 1: times in a week, like let's just go get it 170 00:07:24,481 --> 00:07:26,481 Speaker 1: checked out. So went straight to a doctor, walked in 171 00:07:26,561 --> 00:07:28,121 Speaker 1: hoping I coul get in, got in straight away to 172 00:07:28,161 --> 00:07:30,641 Speaker 1: this guy doctor I've never been to. He checked my 173 00:07:30,681 --> 00:07:32,121 Speaker 1: eyes and everything and he goes, look, I'm going to 174 00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:33,761 Speaker 1: send you to the hospital. I just don't think this 175 00:07:33,881 --> 00:07:36,481 Speaker 1: is worth stucking around, like I'm not sure what it is. 176 00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:39,241 Speaker 1: He called someone must have been someone that's more knowledge 177 00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:41,241 Speaker 1: on eyes and asked him a bunch of questions and 178 00:07:41,281 --> 00:07:43,521 Speaker 1: he said, get it at the hospital. So I went 179 00:07:43,561 --> 00:07:45,601 Speaker 1: straight to the hospital. Had to wait there for like 180 00:07:45,641 --> 00:07:48,241 Speaker 1: three hours. They took me through and asked me a 181 00:07:48,241 --> 00:07:51,361 Speaker 1: bunch of questions, what had happened? Has this ever happened before? 182 00:07:51,401 --> 00:07:54,001 Speaker 1: It's like never in my life. And then they took 183 00:07:54,001 --> 00:07:56,121 Speaker 1: me for a CT scan. I got a bunch of 184 00:07:56,161 --> 00:07:58,121 Speaker 1: eye tests done as well. All the eye stuff came 185 00:07:58,161 --> 00:08:00,241 Speaker 1: back clear, got like photos of my eyes, had to 186 00:08:00,321 --> 00:08:03,161 Speaker 1: like read from a far, got everything tested these weird machines. 187 00:08:03,161 --> 00:08:06,721 Speaker 1: I went in CT scan and then probably eight hours later, 188 00:08:06,721 --> 00:08:08,481 Speaker 1: I'm sitting still in the hospital, Stephen the kids are 189 00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:11,321 Speaker 1: at home now, and the doctor comes out and he said, 190 00:08:11,601 --> 00:08:15,041 Speaker 1: we've found an aneurysm, but it's incidental and it's nothing 191 00:08:15,041 --> 00:08:19,121 Speaker 1: to do with your eyesight. So I'm like, huh. And 192 00:08:19,161 --> 00:08:20,841 Speaker 1: I was a bit annoyed because I was kind of 193 00:08:20,841 --> 00:08:22,761 Speaker 1: hoping that if they found something cool, like, then I 194 00:08:22,841 --> 00:08:25,081 Speaker 1: know what's causing this loss of sight. So I was 195 00:08:25,161 --> 00:08:27,241 Speaker 1: one upset. Now I've got an aneurism. When you hear 196 00:08:27,281 --> 00:08:29,041 Speaker 1: that word, and I'll go into this in a second, 197 00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:31,921 Speaker 1: when you hear that word, it's really scary to hear it. 198 00:08:32,001 --> 00:08:34,401 Speaker 1: Kills a lot of people, but actually one in twenty 199 00:08:34,401 --> 00:08:36,161 Speaker 1: people are walking around with one and they have no idea. 200 00:08:36,241 --> 00:08:38,601 Speaker 1: A lot of the time it might not do anything. Yeah, okay, 201 00:08:39,081 --> 00:08:40,761 Speaker 1: but to hear that, I was really scared. But then 202 00:08:40,761 --> 00:08:43,161 Speaker 1: I was also like frustrated. I was like, okay, so 203 00:08:43,281 --> 00:08:45,681 Speaker 1: what about my loss of vision? And he's like, that's 204 00:08:45,681 --> 00:08:47,401 Speaker 1: what we don't have answers to. We're gonna admit you 205 00:08:47,481 --> 00:08:49,681 Speaker 1: overnight because we want to do an MRI scam. We 206 00:08:49,681 --> 00:08:51,401 Speaker 1: don't want you're walking out of here without any answers, 207 00:08:51,441 --> 00:08:54,201 Speaker 1: because three times in a week's a lot. Yeah, And 208 00:08:54,281 --> 00:08:56,401 Speaker 1: we think it could be a specific type of migraines, 209 00:08:56,401 --> 00:08:58,241 Speaker 1: and I didn't know there was a lot of different 210 00:08:58,281 --> 00:09:01,441 Speaker 1: types of migraines or a migraines stress migraine. There's all 211 00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,481 Speaker 1: these different types, and they thought it might be that, 212 00:09:03,601 --> 00:09:06,881 Speaker 1: but I was like, there's no actual headache anyway. So 213 00:09:07,321 --> 00:09:09,761 Speaker 1: went into hospital and stayed there all the next day 214 00:09:09,761 --> 00:09:13,001 Speaker 1: and get an MRI till the following night and got 215 00:09:13,041 --> 00:09:16,081 Speaker 1: an MRI that all came back clear, and I had 216 00:09:16,121 --> 00:09:18,121 Speaker 1: a neurologist come and speak to me and they said, yeah, 217 00:09:18,161 --> 00:09:20,001 Speaker 1: the loss of eyesight, it's nothing to do with your 218 00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:22,561 Speaker 1: aneurism because of where it's placed and the size of it. 219 00:09:22,561 --> 00:09:24,761 Speaker 1: It's four by four, so at the moment it's not 220 00:09:24,881 --> 00:09:27,761 Speaker 1: huge and it's not tiny's but it's okay. So you'll 221 00:09:27,841 --> 00:09:29,121 Speaker 1: just have to come and get that checked for the 222 00:09:29,121 --> 00:09:31,761 Speaker 1: rest of your life. Now in this process, when I 223 00:09:31,801 --> 00:09:33,801 Speaker 1: call mom, she was like, I know my mom. She 224 00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:35,561 Speaker 1: will listen to this and be like, yep, that was me. 225 00:09:35,721 --> 00:09:37,961 Speaker 1: She's super cool and calm and like, you know, trying 226 00:09:37,961 --> 00:09:39,161 Speaker 1: to keep it together. I think she would have been 227 00:09:39,201 --> 00:09:42,121 Speaker 1: so worried, but she's like, oh, that's what your grand 228 00:09:42,161 --> 00:09:45,041 Speaker 1: died of. And my real father I don't talk to, 229 00:09:45,481 --> 00:09:47,441 Speaker 1: but I've spoken to all of his family my whole life, 230 00:09:47,561 --> 00:09:49,601 Speaker 1: so his mom and dad I was quite close with. 231 00:09:50,121 --> 00:09:52,441 Speaker 1: So she passed away from my anneurism. She ate some 232 00:09:52,481 --> 00:09:55,521 Speaker 1: food one day, lost a vision, got a headache, went 233 00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:58,201 Speaker 1: to go have a nap, and then passing her nap. 234 00:09:58,961 --> 00:10:01,441 Speaker 1: My nun and pop had three sons, my uncle, my 235 00:10:01,521 --> 00:10:03,481 Speaker 1: real father, and my other uncle. So I've got an 236 00:10:03,521 --> 00:10:05,441 Speaker 1: uncle that's still here and he's got annual that he 237 00:10:05,481 --> 00:10:07,161 Speaker 1: has to keep an eye on. I don't know if 238 00:10:07,161 --> 00:10:09,321 Speaker 1: my father has any but my other uncle's actually passed 239 00:10:09,321 --> 00:10:12,001 Speaker 1: my aneurism, and if you saw my grand you would 240 00:10:12,041 --> 00:10:14,321 Speaker 1: be like, oh my gosh, you guys are twins. If 241 00:10:14,321 --> 00:10:17,361 Speaker 1: I take after anyone, it's my Gran. Our height, our bodies, 242 00:10:17,401 --> 00:10:20,561 Speaker 1: our smiles, our noses, like everything was identical. I'm very 243 00:10:20,641 --> 00:10:23,241 Speaker 1: much take after my father's side of genetics, Like me 244 00:10:23,241 --> 00:10:26,121 Speaker 1: and Mom don't look anything alike. I'm like tall, Mom's 245 00:10:26,161 --> 00:10:28,401 Speaker 1: like short. She's got bright blue eyes, I've got green eyes. 246 00:10:28,441 --> 00:10:30,481 Speaker 1: Like We're just very different. So I'm definitely on that side. 247 00:10:30,521 --> 00:10:32,801 Speaker 1: So that was really scary to hear. Yeah, but the 248 00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:36,561 Speaker 1: great thing is it's like everything happens at the exact 249 00:10:36,921 --> 00:10:39,641 Speaker 1: time it's meant to. And if I didn't lose my sight, 250 00:10:39,961 --> 00:10:41,601 Speaker 1: I would never have gone and got checked for a 251 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:45,001 Speaker 1: scan for an anneurism. My uncle Craig, when he lost 252 00:10:45,041 --> 00:10:48,441 Speaker 1: his mom, mine Gran, he was really stressing for me 253 00:10:48,521 --> 00:10:50,641 Speaker 1: and Matt to go and get checked because he's like, 254 00:10:50,641 --> 00:10:52,041 Speaker 1: it runs in our family. And I was like, oh, 255 00:10:52,121 --> 00:10:54,441 Speaker 1: I'm so young, Like an age has got nothing to 256 00:10:54,481 --> 00:10:56,041 Speaker 1: do with it, by the way, but it just was 257 00:10:56,121 --> 00:10:57,921 Speaker 1: in denial, like I just didn't think I would ever 258 00:10:58,121 --> 00:11:00,761 Speaker 1: have that. But then goodness, because now it's there, so 259 00:11:00,801 --> 00:11:02,081 Speaker 1: I've got to go back in three months to get 260 00:11:02,081 --> 00:11:02,521 Speaker 1: it checked. 261 00:11:02,681 --> 00:11:02,921 Speaker 2: Yep. 262 00:11:03,201 --> 00:11:06,241 Speaker 1: But yeah, it's just crazy how life kind of pushes you. 263 00:11:06,601 --> 00:11:08,401 Speaker 1: If you don't listen to the signs and signals to 264 00:11:08,441 --> 00:11:11,281 Speaker 1: slow down, to stop, to reevaluate, to get grounded, to 265 00:11:11,401 --> 00:11:13,161 Speaker 1: check what's in alignment and what's not and make the 266 00:11:13,201 --> 00:11:16,441 Speaker 1: necessary changes, life will force you to stop. And it did. 267 00:11:16,641 --> 00:11:18,801 Speaker 1: It forced me to stop. It forced me to go 268 00:11:18,841 --> 00:11:21,001 Speaker 1: to the hospital, sit in the waiting room and just 269 00:11:21,041 --> 00:11:24,041 Speaker 1: be with my own thoughts and then stay in hospital 270 00:11:24,081 --> 00:11:26,441 Speaker 1: two nights by myself Steve bought the kids were like 271 00:11:26,521 --> 00:11:28,761 Speaker 1: a moment, but otherwise than by myself, the whole time 272 00:11:29,041 --> 00:11:31,401 Speaker 1: gave me that time to really reflect on like what 273 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,241 Speaker 1: am I doing at the moment and what's not feeling 274 00:11:33,281 --> 00:11:36,401 Speaker 1: good and what can I change? How can I get 275 00:11:36,481 --> 00:11:39,281 Speaker 1: back to feeling really really good about getting up each 276 00:11:39,361 --> 00:11:41,761 Speaker 1: day and going to work and spending the time here 277 00:11:41,761 --> 00:11:44,441 Speaker 1: and there and where my energy is going. So yeah, 278 00:11:44,441 --> 00:11:48,801 Speaker 1: there's been so much change and Steve I just deserves 279 00:11:48,801 --> 00:11:52,641 Speaker 1: a freaking gold medal. He has been incredible. Even from 280 00:11:52,641 --> 00:11:54,561 Speaker 1: the moment that I was starting to feel like, oh, 281 00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:56,481 Speaker 1: I'm just not enjoying this part of the business or 282 00:11:56,481 --> 00:11:57,921 Speaker 1: this part of the business, so I feel like I'm 283 00:11:57,961 --> 00:12:00,321 Speaker 1: working too much. He already was taking on little bits 284 00:12:00,321 --> 00:12:03,281 Speaker 1: and pieces, but as soon as this happened, like I 285 00:12:03,321 --> 00:12:06,561 Speaker 1: went into hospital, he just changedthing and took so much 286 00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:09,681 Speaker 1: off my plate. Got all the team like involved, just 287 00:12:09,841 --> 00:12:13,081 Speaker 1: see where they can assist and help, and the structure 288 00:12:13,081 --> 00:12:14,921 Speaker 1: of how we're going to be doing things moving forward 289 00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:17,761 Speaker 1: is a lot less pressure on me, which is feeling 290 00:12:17,801 --> 00:12:21,561 Speaker 1: really really nice. And I've just naturally been craving more 291 00:12:21,601 --> 00:12:23,601 Speaker 1: time at home and with my kids as well this 292 00:12:23,681 --> 00:12:26,281 Speaker 1: last couple of months, but I've found it hard to 293 00:12:26,401 --> 00:12:29,641 Speaker 1: find more time. So now I'm going to be taking basically, 294 00:12:29,841 --> 00:12:31,961 Speaker 1: and I know saying this out loud, I sound very 295 00:12:31,961 --> 00:12:34,441 Speaker 1: privileged that I can do this, but this is my situation. 296 00:12:34,561 --> 00:12:37,081 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful I cam and I'm gonna be working Monday, Tuesday, 297 00:12:37,081 --> 00:12:40,961 Speaker 1: Wednesday really hard and a lot more productively too, really 298 00:12:41,001 --> 00:12:43,041 Speaker 1: structuring my day out to push it all in those 299 00:12:43,081 --> 00:12:46,121 Speaker 1: three days, and then Thursday Friday taking off with Tyler 300 00:12:46,161 --> 00:12:49,041 Speaker 1: Girl and being able to just go slow. So the 301 00:12:49,121 --> 00:12:51,761 Speaker 1: last couple of weeks, even on a Thursday, I was saying, 302 00:12:51,841 --> 00:12:53,961 Speaker 1: she's so nice to not have any plans with her 303 00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:56,121 Speaker 1: like we went, came up one day and just floated 304 00:12:56,121 --> 00:12:57,881 Speaker 1: around there for two hours and just I don't even 305 00:12:57,921 --> 00:12:59,881 Speaker 1: know what the fuck we did, just looking at shit, 306 00:12:59,961 --> 00:13:01,601 Speaker 1: and she's putting things in the trolley and she's walking 307 00:13:01,601 --> 00:13:04,081 Speaker 1: around and we're dancing and just having a nice time. 308 00:13:04,161 --> 00:13:06,481 Speaker 1: Like I feel like I've had my foot on the 309 00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:09,881 Speaker 1: pedal since i was thirteen years old. I've been in 310 00:13:09,921 --> 00:13:12,761 Speaker 1: that fight or flight and hustle and it served me 311 00:13:12,881 --> 00:13:15,401 Speaker 1: and I don't regret any of it. If I didn't 312 00:13:15,441 --> 00:13:18,801 Speaker 1: have that drive and that passion and that fire in 313 00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:21,681 Speaker 1: my belly, I wouldn't be where I'm at right now. 314 00:13:21,721 --> 00:13:24,601 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have the success, I wouldn't have all these 315 00:13:24,681 --> 00:13:27,161 Speaker 1: jobs to supply for people. I wouldn't have been able 316 00:13:27,161 --> 00:13:29,321 Speaker 1: to do all the amazing opportunities I've done, all the travel, 317 00:13:29,361 --> 00:13:34,041 Speaker 1: like it's all been amazing until now, and now how 318 00:13:34,041 --> 00:13:37,161 Speaker 1: I've been running doesn't feel good anymore. And it's really 319 00:13:37,201 --> 00:13:41,881 Speaker 1: confronting because change is uncomfortable and it's painful. But I 320 00:13:41,881 --> 00:13:44,161 Speaker 1: tell you what, nothing is as painful as staying somewhere 321 00:13:44,161 --> 00:13:46,561 Speaker 1: that you don't belong and staying in a place where 322 00:13:46,601 --> 00:13:49,921 Speaker 1: you don't truly feel happy. But it's really hard to 323 00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:52,561 Speaker 1: unpack because I love my life, I love my business, 324 00:13:52,561 --> 00:13:54,441 Speaker 1: I love my staff like I love all of that, 325 00:13:55,121 --> 00:13:57,761 Speaker 1: but just how it was running wasn't feeling good. So 326 00:13:57,761 --> 00:14:02,841 Speaker 1: it's been a really massive week and I'm so emotionally exhausted. 327 00:14:03,001 --> 00:14:05,401 Speaker 1: Like me and here, I talk every single we don't 328 00:14:05,401 --> 00:14:08,521 Speaker 1: see each other much. We talk literally daily. And I 329 00:14:08,561 --> 00:14:10,241 Speaker 1: was saying to her last night, something I really wanted 330 00:14:10,281 --> 00:14:13,201 Speaker 1: to talk about was just like normalizing being honest with 331 00:14:13,241 --> 00:14:16,321 Speaker 1: how you feel in society. I think a lot of 332 00:14:16,401 --> 00:14:19,481 Speaker 1: us are so not authentic and genuine when someone asks 333 00:14:19,521 --> 00:14:22,841 Speaker 1: you how you are right. Because in the Highaway yesterday 334 00:14:22,841 --> 00:14:24,521 Speaker 1: I walked in and all the Hideaway team were there. 335 00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:26,761 Speaker 1: My baseline staff don't work in the office every day, 336 00:14:26,761 --> 00:14:29,041 Speaker 1: but the Hideaway team do, and they're like, oh, how 337 00:14:29,121 --> 00:14:31,921 Speaker 1: are you feeling better? Like you know, I looked at 338 00:14:31,921 --> 00:14:33,441 Speaker 1: all three of them, and I was like, you know, 339 00:14:33,561 --> 00:14:35,681 Speaker 1: my instant reaction was going to be like, yeah, good 340 00:14:35,801 --> 00:14:37,761 Speaker 1: at a hospital feeling good, because I even have that 341 00:14:37,801 --> 00:14:39,881 Speaker 1: expectation myself. I'm out of hospital, I'm back with my family. 342 00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:43,001 Speaker 1: I should be feeling better, right, but I'm not. And 343 00:14:43,041 --> 00:14:44,921 Speaker 1: I said to them, I said, to be completely honest, 344 00:14:45,161 --> 00:14:47,201 Speaker 1: I feel like a broken records. I'm sick of complaining. 345 00:14:47,201 --> 00:14:49,121 Speaker 1: I'm sick of saying I'm tired and I'm emotional, but 346 00:14:49,481 --> 00:14:52,001 Speaker 1: I'm just not okay yet. I feel like I'm really 347 00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:54,841 Speaker 1: exhausted and processing everything and now I'm navigating all the 348 00:14:54,881 --> 00:14:57,761 Speaker 1: new changes and just trying to figure out my new 349 00:14:57,801 --> 00:15:01,761 Speaker 1: normal and it's really hard. And Galen, he's so beautiful. 350 00:15:02,081 --> 00:15:04,601 Speaker 1: He runs all the website a hideaway. And he said 351 00:15:04,641 --> 00:15:07,601 Speaker 1: to me normalizing not being okay, good on you for 352 00:15:07,601 --> 00:15:10,561 Speaker 1: being honest. He's like, I really appreciate that. I was like, 353 00:15:10,601 --> 00:15:12,561 Speaker 1: thank you, because I just don't want to not be 354 00:15:12,641 --> 00:15:14,201 Speaker 1: authentic when people ask me. But then, you know, when 355 00:15:14,201 --> 00:15:15,841 Speaker 1: everyone is asking you all the time, you don't want 356 00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:18,081 Speaker 1: to just like sound like a winge machine or like 357 00:15:18,121 --> 00:15:20,561 Speaker 1: I'm complaining and on social media. I don't know if 358 00:15:20,561 --> 00:15:22,721 Speaker 1: you feel it some time, it's like everyone wants you 359 00:15:22,761 --> 00:15:25,641 Speaker 1: to be really honest and authentic and raw. But then 360 00:15:25,681 --> 00:15:27,841 Speaker 1: if you complain about something or you say you're tired, 361 00:15:27,841 --> 00:15:29,801 Speaker 1: it's like, oh, if I say I'm tired, it's like, oh, 362 00:15:29,961 --> 00:15:31,961 Speaker 1: your kid sleeps all night, yeah, you know, and you 363 00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:34,121 Speaker 1: get the comparison. So then you shut down. You're like well, 364 00:15:34,161 --> 00:15:37,001 Speaker 1: I don't want to upset them and sound like I'm complaining. 365 00:15:37,041 --> 00:15:39,401 Speaker 1: But then I'm like, no, I need to honor exactly 366 00:15:39,441 --> 00:15:43,721 Speaker 1: how I'm feeling. But in this time too, there's so 367 00:15:43,761 --> 00:15:45,561 Speaker 1: many beautiful blessings that have come out of this, Like 368 00:15:45,561 --> 00:15:48,641 Speaker 1: I said, finding the aneurysm, Steve stepping up, changing how 369 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,841 Speaker 1: we're doing everything and work, like it's so good. I'm 370 00:15:50,881 --> 00:15:53,281 Speaker 1: so grateful for it. But once again, I don't think 371 00:15:53,281 --> 00:15:55,921 Speaker 1: I ever take my friends and family for granted at all. 372 00:15:56,401 --> 00:15:58,961 Speaker 1: My appreciation for the level of support that I have, 373 00:15:59,481 --> 00:16:01,921 Speaker 1: and I know it's not something everyone has. I said 374 00:16:01,921 --> 00:16:03,921 Speaker 1: to Steve last night as I was having another cry, 375 00:16:05,041 --> 00:16:06,961 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm just so thankful for you, Like 376 00:16:07,001 --> 00:16:08,641 Speaker 1: the way that you hold space to me and love 377 00:16:08,681 --> 00:16:10,441 Speaker 1: on me and you never make me feel like a burden. 378 00:16:10,801 --> 00:16:13,801 Speaker 1: He's so validating, Like the way that he validates and 379 00:16:13,841 --> 00:16:16,801 Speaker 1: sees every feeling that I have. I was like, not 380 00:16:16,881 --> 00:16:20,561 Speaker 1: everyone has this, and like, how do single mums do this? Like, honestly, 381 00:16:20,561 --> 00:16:22,881 Speaker 1: if you're a single mum right now at home juggling 382 00:16:22,921 --> 00:16:25,761 Speaker 1: the kids and juggling work, you deserve a fucking medal. Yeah, 383 00:16:25,801 --> 00:16:29,361 Speaker 1: because I have not coped this last month. Without Steve 384 00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:31,721 Speaker 1: just holding me and holding the fort too, of like 385 00:16:32,081 --> 00:16:35,681 Speaker 1: the household, all the work me, the kids, like it's 386 00:16:35,721 --> 00:16:39,041 Speaker 1: a lot, yeah, and all my friends, like even the community, 387 00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:41,961 Speaker 1: Like when I was in hospital, it was just so beautiful. 388 00:16:42,041 --> 00:16:44,201 Speaker 1: How many people care and take the time out of 389 00:16:44,201 --> 00:16:46,521 Speaker 1: their days checking on how you're going and everything. It's 390 00:16:46,601 --> 00:16:49,761 Speaker 1: just beautiful. So it's been a really hard month, but 391 00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:51,681 Speaker 1: now when I talk about it out loud like this, 392 00:16:51,721 --> 00:16:53,641 Speaker 1: it's making me smile because there's been so much good 393 00:16:53,681 --> 00:16:56,281 Speaker 1: out of it as well. And I hope anyone listening 394 00:16:56,361 --> 00:16:59,201 Speaker 1: it just gives you hope to know that if you're 395 00:16:59,241 --> 00:17:01,161 Speaker 1: in the darkness right now, there is light at the 396 00:17:01,201 --> 00:17:02,921 Speaker 1: end of the tunnel, and you just have to stay 397 00:17:02,961 --> 00:17:05,521 Speaker 1: strong and keep going and know, like I always have 398 00:17:05,561 --> 00:17:07,801 Speaker 1: this inner knowing that even when I'm in the thig 399 00:17:07,881 --> 00:17:09,761 Speaker 1: of it, that it's because I'm about to level up, 400 00:17:09,761 --> 00:17:11,761 Speaker 1: all things are going to change and shift for the better. 401 00:17:12,001 --> 00:17:15,121 Speaker 1: I know that deep down. But I'm also human. I'm 402 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 1: not a robot, and I'm going to allow myself to 403 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,481 Speaker 1: feel it all. But i know that it's just a 404 00:17:19,561 --> 00:17:22,201 Speaker 1: season and it will pass. It's like every dark, cloudy 405 00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:25,160 Speaker 1: storm it comes and it's loud, and it's thundery and 406 00:17:25,201 --> 00:17:27,680 Speaker 1: it's like shaky, and then the rainbow comes down, the 407 00:17:27,721 --> 00:17:30,360 Speaker 1: sun shines again and you can feel good again. But 408 00:17:30,481 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 1: life is just full of times like this, so many 409 00:17:33,681 --> 00:17:36,401 Speaker 1: ups and so many downs. And I think it's really 410 00:17:36,441 --> 00:17:38,360 Speaker 1: cool that we talk about this on our socials and 411 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,640 Speaker 1: on this podcast, so that you know you're not just 412 00:17:40,721 --> 00:17:43,200 Speaker 1: looking on someone's highlight reel. We always say this, but 413 00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:46,000 Speaker 1: social media it can be such a trap to look 414 00:17:46,041 --> 00:17:47,960 Speaker 1: at someone's glamorous life and all the cool things they 415 00:17:47,961 --> 00:17:49,641 Speaker 1: get to do, and me and you show that all 416 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,761 Speaker 1: the time. I love showing the fun bits of my life, 417 00:17:52,041 --> 00:17:55,321 Speaker 1: but everyone's human and everyone goes through things, and I'm 418 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:59,641 Speaker 1: in the thick of it right now cry most days. Yeah, 419 00:17:59,681 --> 00:18:00,241 Speaker 1: it's hard. 420 00:18:00,521 --> 00:18:03,200 Speaker 2: So you've put a lot of changes and things in 421 00:18:03,241 --> 00:18:05,281 Speaker 2: place moving forward. It's exciting. But I did you just 422 00:18:05,281 --> 00:18:08,081 Speaker 2: hear you say before. I'm very privileged, but I want 423 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:10,521 Speaker 2: you to know you've actually worked your ass off and 424 00:18:10,561 --> 00:18:12,881 Speaker 2: you deserve to take a break. And I'm really really 425 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,001 Speaker 2: proud of you for like making this decision to take 426 00:18:15,001 --> 00:18:17,761 Speaker 2: a step back, because I know how important it is 427 00:18:17,961 --> 00:18:20,640 Speaker 2: to you and how much you like love everything that 428 00:18:20,681 --> 00:18:22,720 Speaker 2: you do. But I can really just see you like 429 00:18:22,761 --> 00:18:25,401 Speaker 2: putting yourself first and chatting to you back and forth 430 00:18:25,441 --> 00:18:27,041 Speaker 2: and just seeing all the things you're putting in place, 431 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,120 Speaker 2: and how you're really just like you're just valuing you. 432 00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 2: You're listening to what you need to what your body needs. 433 00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:34,161 Speaker 2: And it's been so nice to see from the outside 434 00:18:34,201 --> 00:18:34,801 Speaker 2: as well. 435 00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:37,041 Speaker 1: Really appreciate that. And I was saying a Kiera on 436 00:18:37,041 --> 00:18:39,080 Speaker 1: the way up here, I've been feeling so guilty this 437 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 1: last month, and Guilt's not really something I feel often, 438 00:18:42,921 --> 00:18:46,160 Speaker 1: but even taking the Thursday and Friday off work and 439 00:18:46,201 --> 00:18:48,120 Speaker 1: I'm still available for my team, but I'm going to 440 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,721 Speaker 1: be with my kids and just having me time. Even 441 00:18:50,761 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 1: I've got lots of friends with babies. Like I said Steve, 442 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,440 Speaker 1: I'm so excited to be able to go around and 443 00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:56,920 Speaker 1: take them food and just like visit them more, you know, 444 00:18:57,001 --> 00:18:59,081 Speaker 1: just run my errands or go get my fucking tonails 445 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:02,360 Speaker 1: done if I want to. Yeah, I'm feeling already feeling 446 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,561 Speaker 1: guilty and this is nothing on my team. They have 447 00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,160 Speaker 1: not done anything to make you feel like. This is 448 00:19:06,201 --> 00:19:08,241 Speaker 1: all my staff, But I feel guilty that I'm not 449 00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:10,041 Speaker 1: at work on a Thursday because they're all working on 450 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:13,160 Speaker 1: a Thursday, and Steve was like, doesn't work like that, baby. 451 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 1: You've worked so hard for so long to create this 452 00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:17,680 Speaker 1: life and create this business and create these jobs for 453 00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:20,481 Speaker 1: everyone so that you can have that flexibility. And yeah, 454 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,120 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, my health and my 455 00:19:23,201 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: mental health, even the medical team were just like, you 456 00:19:25,801 --> 00:19:28,840 Speaker 1: need to slow right down, yep, Like these migraines are 457 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,641 Speaker 1: loss of sight, even the aneurysm, like everything, like your 458 00:19:31,681 --> 00:19:33,681 Speaker 1: health is speaking to you and you need to pull 459 00:19:33,761 --> 00:19:36,120 Speaker 1: back on the way that you do things. And I 460 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,400 Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I've already known that, it just hasn't 461 00:19:38,441 --> 00:19:40,241 Speaker 1: been until now being in hospital, but I'm like, wow, 462 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:43,961 Speaker 1: actually I don't have a choice anymore. But yeah, it's 463 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,561 Speaker 1: just been a time. Holy moly, I haven't cried this 464 00:19:46,681 --> 00:19:49,440 Speaker 1: much in so long. Yeah. It's tough, isn't it. 465 00:19:50,441 --> 00:19:52,160 Speaker 2: And you're just honoring the season that you're in, Like 466 00:19:52,241 --> 00:19:53,760 Speaker 2: this is how you're feeling right now, this is what 467 00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:55,920 Speaker 2: works for you right now, this is where you need 468 00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,600 Speaker 2: to be right now, And in six months time or 469 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,920 Speaker 2: a year's time, like things might completely change. Yeah, and 470 00:19:59,921 --> 00:20:01,400 Speaker 2: you'd be like, I want to do this more now, 471 00:20:01,761 --> 00:20:03,361 Speaker 2: And it's really cool to just see you go with 472 00:20:03,441 --> 00:20:04,561 Speaker 2: what you feel like you're needing. 473 00:20:04,721 --> 00:20:06,920 Speaker 1: I think what's really helped me too, is watching you 474 00:20:06,961 --> 00:20:11,920 Speaker 1: do that, because I feel like you change your seasons often. Yeah, 475 00:20:12,001 --> 00:20:13,921 Speaker 1: And you know what, at first, when you would change 476 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:16,321 Speaker 1: so much, I think I found that uncomfortable because I 477 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,360 Speaker 1: don't change a lot, and I get so set in 478 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,120 Speaker 1: my ways of doing things how I do them, and 479 00:20:22,201 --> 00:20:25,481 Speaker 1: being structured and routined and not really flowing as much 480 00:20:25,481 --> 00:20:28,121 Speaker 1: and maybe not listening into what I actually want to do. 481 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,921 Speaker 1: I generally think I have really enjoyed it up until now, 482 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,641 Speaker 1: but watching you go through all of that now I'm 483 00:20:33,681 --> 00:20:37,521 Speaker 1: experiencing it. It's made me go, oh, this is okay. 484 00:20:37,721 --> 00:20:40,000 Speaker 1: It's okay to change your mind. It's okay to do 485 00:20:40,041 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 1: things differently. It's okay to say nah, that doesn't feel 486 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,680 Speaker 1: good anymore. And this is not just in work life. 487 00:20:45,721 --> 00:20:48,720 Speaker 1: If you're in an intimate relationship, if you have a friendship, 488 00:20:48,961 --> 00:20:52,160 Speaker 1: if you have a situation that all of a sudden 489 00:20:52,201 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 1: it's like, wow, nah, that doesn't feel good anymore, you 490 00:20:56,961 --> 00:21:00,360 Speaker 1: can choose to say no. You can choose yourself. And 491 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,080 Speaker 1: it's cool when you surround yourself a care around people 492 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,240 Speaker 1: like you. It gives other people permission and inspires them 493 00:21:06,241 --> 00:21:07,561 Speaker 1: to be able to do the same and not carry 494 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,360 Speaker 1: that guilt. Yeah. So it's really cool that you've spoken 495 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,640 Speaker 1: about it because I love watching you change a different season. 496 00:21:12,681 --> 00:21:16,161 Speaker 1: I admire it because I'm like change, Yeah, I think, 497 00:21:16,201 --> 00:21:18,120 Speaker 1: how does she do it? How do you do it? 498 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,961 Speaker 1: But it's so cool to just see you go evan 499 00:21:20,041 --> 00:21:22,761 Speaker 1: flof whatever feels good and what you need in that season, 500 00:21:22,801 --> 00:21:24,680 Speaker 1: whether it's what you need financially, whether it's what you 501 00:21:24,681 --> 00:21:26,241 Speaker 1: need for your family or what you need for yourself 502 00:21:26,321 --> 00:21:28,720 Speaker 1: or your relationship. Do you dip and dad where you 503 00:21:28,761 --> 00:21:32,001 Speaker 1: need to? And I love that? Oh, thank you? Fucking cool. 504 00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,480 Speaker 2: Sometimes I look at it and I think it's like 505 00:21:33,561 --> 00:21:36,041 Speaker 2: a bit of a bad thing. I think it's putting 506 00:21:36,041 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 2: myself first. Yes, so I'm going like, oh, no, I 507 00:21:38,281 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 2: really want to do this, and I'll jump into a 508 00:21:39,681 --> 00:21:40,761 Speaker 2: challenge or like oh I. 509 00:21:40,761 --> 00:21:42,201 Speaker 1: Feel like I want more of that. I think it's 510 00:21:42,281 --> 00:21:45,640 Speaker 1: just yeah, but you constantly check in. Yeah, You're always 511 00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 1: checking in with what feels good, what do I need, 512 00:21:47,961 --> 00:21:51,041 Speaker 1: what's required? What does everyone else need? How can I 513 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:53,561 Speaker 1: juggle all of that? And I think that's been the 514 00:21:53,561 --> 00:21:56,241 Speaker 1: cool thing over watching you over the last I suppose 515 00:21:56,761 --> 00:21:59,080 Speaker 1: year or two, I feel like the most change has 516 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,480 Speaker 1: been implemented. You've really been checking in with you. But 517 00:22:01,561 --> 00:22:04,481 Speaker 1: before that it was just everyone else but me one 518 00:22:04,561 --> 00:22:08,681 Speaker 1: hundred everyone else's mental health, energy time. You would say 519 00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,561 Speaker 1: yes to anything and everything, whereas now it's like you've 520 00:22:11,561 --> 00:22:15,281 Speaker 1: got firm boundaries and you communicate it so well. It's 521 00:22:15,321 --> 00:22:18,640 Speaker 1: like firm but really loving. So I think that's really cool. 522 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:21,601 Speaker 1: So I hope everyone listening, like us sharing all of this, 523 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,920 Speaker 1: We hope you take a lot away in ways that 524 00:22:23,961 --> 00:22:26,521 Speaker 1: you can implement this into your life and how important 525 00:22:26,521 --> 00:22:28,521 Speaker 1: it is to surround yourself with people that support you 526 00:22:28,561 --> 00:22:30,881 Speaker 1: and inspire you and challenge you in those ways. 527 00:22:31,201 --> 00:22:33,041 Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's the one thing, like Ash you and 528 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,801 Speaker 2: I always say to a like, change is the number 529 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,360 Speaker 2: one thing that's always going to happen. 530 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:40,520 Speaker 1: It's the only thing we're guaranteed. Right. You think some 531 00:22:40,561 --> 00:22:42,240 Speaker 1: things are forever, Like you think you're locked in your 532 00:22:42,281 --> 00:22:45,761 Speaker 1: job forever. You think you're locked in your marriage forever, friendships, 533 00:22:45,761 --> 00:22:49,441 Speaker 1: like your house, none of that's guaranteed. Anything could change 534 00:22:49,481 --> 00:22:52,360 Speaker 1: and happen overnight, like we've experienced in the last through 535 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,200 Speaker 1: the spicy flu. How much of the world can just 536 00:22:54,281 --> 00:22:57,761 Speaker 1: flip upside down and change so much. Right, nothing is 537 00:22:57,801 --> 00:23:01,321 Speaker 1: guaranteed except for change, so buckle in, besties. 538 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:07,041 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's such an uncomfortable feeling sometimes when you've always 539 00:23:07,041 --> 00:23:11,321 Speaker 2: done something a certain way, feel like holy shit. And 540 00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:13,960 Speaker 2: just the scarcity I think around the unknown when you're 541 00:23:14,001 --> 00:23:16,361 Speaker 2: first moving from one to another. Like, but I think 542 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:17,761 Speaker 2: that's the thing is not getting out of head of 543 00:23:17,761 --> 00:23:19,281 Speaker 2: being like what if I don't like it, It's like cool, 544 00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:23,480 Speaker 2: go back, Yeah, do what you did before exactly, Like 545 00:23:23,721 --> 00:23:25,401 Speaker 2: you know, having the extra days at home. You might 546 00:23:25,521 --> 00:23:26,960 Speaker 2: love this for the next six months. You might love 547 00:23:27,001 --> 00:23:29,441 Speaker 2: the next five fucking years. Yeah, but also you might 548 00:23:29,481 --> 00:23:31,321 Speaker 2: go two months in and be like, actually, I kind 549 00:23:31,321 --> 00:23:32,801 Speaker 2: of want to work on a Friday again. Yeah, And 550 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,920 Speaker 2: that's okay if you're feeling good and you're not friggin 551 00:23:36,201 --> 00:23:38,521 Speaker 2: having all these signs and symptoms from your body. Yeah, 552 00:23:38,561 --> 00:23:39,440 Speaker 2: and that's what you want to do. 553 00:23:39,721 --> 00:23:40,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's fine. 554 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:41,281 Speaker 2: Yeah. 555 00:23:41,281 --> 00:23:42,961 Speaker 1: And one of the other things when you were talking 556 00:23:43,001 --> 00:23:44,681 Speaker 1: about was are we missing out on the best years 557 00:23:44,681 --> 00:23:46,521 Speaker 1: of their lives? Because we look at our little kids lately, 558 00:23:46,561 --> 00:23:49,121 Speaker 1: we're just like, they're growing so fast. Every Thursday, take 559 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,041 Speaker 1: Taala to a library class. It's fucking cute to see another. 560 00:23:52,561 --> 00:23:54,440 Speaker 1: They just sing a bunch of nursery rhymes. It's just 561 00:23:54,481 --> 00:23:57,440 Speaker 1: like a bunch of baby She's the oldest one. She 562 00:23:57,561 --> 00:24:00,801 Speaker 1: like steals the toys, just dances. It's so funny. But 563 00:24:00,961 --> 00:24:03,400 Speaker 1: Tarj's on school holidays, so I brought him along. Because 564 00:24:03,441 --> 00:24:06,840 Speaker 1: Steve was at work and watching Taj be around babies 565 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,041 Speaker 1: and toddlers, I was tearing up. I went home Steve 566 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,120 Speaker 1: and I was like, baby, he is so tall and 567 00:24:13,281 --> 00:24:16,561 Speaker 1: so big and so grown up, and these years are 568 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,001 Speaker 1: flying by. And he's like, I know, in a couple 569 00:24:18,041 --> 00:24:20,680 Speaker 1: of years, he's going to be a teenager. We're halfway through. 570 00:24:20,761 --> 00:24:23,001 Speaker 1: Like they say, the first twelve years of their lives 571 00:24:23,001 --> 00:24:24,681 Speaker 1: is when they spend the most, like weekends and time 572 00:24:24,681 --> 00:24:25,960 Speaker 1: with you, and after that they obviously want to do 573 00:24:25,961 --> 00:24:27,401 Speaker 1: things with their friends or whatever. And he's like, we're 574 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,920 Speaker 1: nearly at that next stage. And it's so sad. So 575 00:24:31,481 --> 00:24:33,880 Speaker 1: even all this stuff happening, I've been feeling like I 576 00:24:33,921 --> 00:24:36,801 Speaker 1: want to step more into mum life. Lesson to work 577 00:24:36,921 --> 00:24:39,561 Speaker 1: because I work Monday to Friday, like most people do. 578 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,761 Speaker 1: That's pretty much the norm. Like most people, you speak 579 00:24:41,761 --> 00:24:43,281 Speaker 1: to They work Monday to Friday, and I'm the same. 580 00:24:43,561 --> 00:24:44,920 Speaker 1: And then I have my weekends with my kids and 581 00:24:44,921 --> 00:24:46,721 Speaker 1: I finish work at like two to three each AVO, 582 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,881 Speaker 1: so I get the arvos with the kids. But yeah, 583 00:24:48,921 --> 00:24:51,080 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm in this position where I can be 584 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,360 Speaker 1: more flexible with my hours, and I do have a 585 00:24:53,441 --> 00:24:56,081 Speaker 1: great team that can help. Steve is happy to take 586 00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:57,961 Speaker 1: on a lot of that workload. He's got a very 587 00:24:57,961 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 1: big capacity and he's just very skilled in a lot 588 00:25:00,761 --> 00:25:04,080 Speaker 1: of areas, like even managing a team and running a meeting. 589 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:05,801 Speaker 1: Like the way he does it. To me, I'm like, 590 00:25:06,441 --> 00:25:10,401 Speaker 1: it doesn't with such ease. I'm like, he's such a natural. 591 00:25:10,801 --> 00:25:12,360 Speaker 1: But yeah, I want to be more at home with 592 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,440 Speaker 1: my kids. Yeah, it's feeling really nice and exciting for me. 593 00:25:15,921 --> 00:25:18,001 Speaker 1: Who knows she's not gonna go to daycare two and 594 00:25:18,041 --> 00:25:19,840 Speaker 1: how nanny is going to be trying to fell pregnant. Well, 595 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,041 Speaker 1: she's trying to fell pregnant now, which is exciting. But 596 00:25:22,201 --> 00:25:24,241 Speaker 1: I'm excited to have more time with my kids because 597 00:25:24,241 --> 00:25:27,360 Speaker 1: it just goes by so quickly it's heartbreaking. Yeah, I 598 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,481 Speaker 1: said to Steve, but honestly, which we could freeze time 599 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:30,801 Speaker 1: and just have them this age forever. 600 00:25:31,201 --> 00:25:31,441 Speaker 2: Yeah. 601 00:25:31,481 --> 00:25:33,080 Speaker 1: I know each age is going to be special and 602 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,520 Speaker 1: amazing and like pros and cons to both, but I 603 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,400 Speaker 1: just want to like keep them young, keep them safe, 604 00:25:37,441 --> 00:25:39,200 Speaker 1: and keep them close and keep them in the house 605 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:41,041 Speaker 1: when they move out. 606 00:25:41,120 --> 00:25:42,801 Speaker 2: Well, Kurt and I always talk about too. We're like, 607 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,841 Speaker 2: imagine when all three kids are in school, Like we've 608 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,561 Speaker 2: already got two in school, Like when Reagan's at school, 609 00:25:47,721 --> 00:25:49,641 Speaker 2: We're gonna have so much more time. So we will 610 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:51,600 Speaker 2: often have these days where like Reagan's wanting us or 611 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:52,761 Speaker 2: we wanted to do this, blah bah blah, and we 612 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,360 Speaker 2: just go like just fucking do it. Yeah, Like work 613 00:25:55,360 --> 00:25:57,281 Speaker 2: can wait, yes, you know, like I know we have 614 00:25:57,321 --> 00:25:58,761 Speaker 2: these goals and things we want to do, but also 615 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:00,561 Speaker 2: like we can work our ours off once the kids 616 00:26:00,561 --> 00:26:02,240 Speaker 2: are in school if we want to, you know, you 617 00:26:02,241 --> 00:26:04,600 Speaker 2: can and flow and change to what feels good. 618 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:05,801 Speaker 1: And definitely it does. 619 00:26:05,921 --> 00:26:07,961 Speaker 2: It really does go so fast. Like Reagan's got two 620 00:26:07,961 --> 00:26:09,680 Speaker 2: more years and we have three kids in school. 621 00:26:09,761 --> 00:26:10,481 Speaker 1: It's nae. 622 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:11,521 Speaker 2: Yeah. 623 00:26:11,561 --> 00:26:13,640 Speaker 1: And just even in hospital, I cried one night because 624 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,401 Speaker 1: I missed out on her. It sounds so stupid because 625 00:26:15,441 --> 00:26:17,721 Speaker 1: I'm away tonight with you I go away, it's fine, 626 00:26:18,201 --> 00:26:20,080 Speaker 1: but I think when it's not your choice to be away, 627 00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:23,360 Speaker 1: it's even harder. But there's little moments like I love 628 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: doing bad time, I love giving her bottle. I love 629 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,321 Speaker 1: putting her to bed, like I don't even like Steve 630 00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 1: putting her bed because I want to do that, Like 631 00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:32,041 Speaker 1: I want to do all those things. I don't want 632 00:26:32,041 --> 00:26:34,521 Speaker 1: to miss out on those moments with my kids. It's 633 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,801 Speaker 1: the more time, the more slow time I can get. 634 00:26:37,801 --> 00:26:41,041 Speaker 1: We're going to do another episode actually on relationships, so 635 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:42,720 Speaker 1: I won't touch it too much in here, but the 636 00:26:42,761 --> 00:26:47,000 Speaker 1: polarity and how much it's impacted Steve's and I's intimate relationship. 637 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:50,920 Speaker 1: Of this switch of feminine and masculine and our roles 638 00:26:50,961 --> 00:26:51,840 Speaker 1: really interesting. 639 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:53,961 Speaker 2: But I want to read that poem on this episode. 640 00:26:54,041 --> 00:26:56,160 Speaker 2: I think, oh, I've got this motherhood poem, and I 641 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,681 Speaker 2: think about talking about all of this. You've probably seen 642 00:26:58,721 --> 00:27:02,120 Speaker 2: this girl on Instagram. It's at j E S s 643 00:27:02,441 --> 00:27:05,400 Speaker 2: U R lic HS and she does all the different 644 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,200 Speaker 2: poems and I came across this one and I just 645 00:27:07,201 --> 00:27:08,641 Speaker 2: had to screenshot itsse I was like, I just want 646 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:09,121 Speaker 2: to share this. 647 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,160 Speaker 1: She's pre warned me, I'm gonna cry and I'm already 648 00:27:11,201 --> 00:27:11,880 Speaker 1: so emotional. 649 00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:16,801 Speaker 2: So okay, so it's called there's a mother somewhere. I'm 650 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:21,761 Speaker 2: getting emotional already, Yeah, I know, I mean my good time. 651 00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:22,480 Speaker 1: Okay. 652 00:27:23,041 --> 00:27:25,840 Speaker 2: There is a mother somewhere whose grown child lives on 653 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,080 Speaker 2: the other side of the world. She holds him in 654 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,761 Speaker 2: her heart because of the distance between their arms. There's 655 00:27:30,761 --> 00:27:33,521 Speaker 2: a mother somewhere whose baby won't stop crying. They want 656 00:27:33,561 --> 00:27:36,041 Speaker 2: to be held, fed, to sleep. They need her so much, 657 00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:38,920 Speaker 2: and all she wants is a moment alone. There's a 658 00:27:38,961 --> 00:27:41,521 Speaker 2: mother somewhere who has a child that may never say 659 00:27:41,561 --> 00:27:44,841 Speaker 2: the word mama. She's faced more challenges than imaginable and 660 00:27:44,921 --> 00:27:48,481 Speaker 2: dreams of that sound. Often there's a mother somewhere who 661 00:27:48,481 --> 00:27:50,200 Speaker 2: has heard the word mummy on repeat. 662 00:27:50,321 --> 00:27:51,161 Speaker 1: She's touched out. 663 00:27:51,201 --> 00:27:54,200 Speaker 2: It's also loud, and she's desperate for a moment of silence. 664 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,441 Speaker 2: There is a mother somewhere awake, tiptoeing out the door 665 00:27:57,481 --> 00:28:01,120 Speaker 2: of the nursery, her tears not long dried. She dreams 666 00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:03,481 Speaker 2: of sleep, and she adores her baby and steal thinks 667 00:28:03,521 --> 00:28:06,880 Speaker 2: back to those carefree days. Sometimes there's a mother somewhere 668 00:28:06,921 --> 00:28:09,840 Speaker 2: awake who hears tiptoeing down the hallway because her teenager 669 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:12,360 Speaker 2: got in late. She loves watching them grow, but she 670 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,520 Speaker 2: thinks back to the days they were little and climbing 671 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,440 Speaker 2: into a bed for cuddles. There's a mother somewhere. Her 672 00:28:17,441 --> 00:28:19,840 Speaker 2: house is full of noise and mess, lived in and loved. 673 00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:22,841 Speaker 2: There is a mother somewhere. Her house is clean and silent, 674 00:28:22,921 --> 00:28:25,721 Speaker 2: and memories hang on the walls. There's a mother somewhere 675 00:28:25,721 --> 00:28:28,200 Speaker 2: telling her children about when they were little. There's a 676 00:28:28,241 --> 00:28:30,680 Speaker 2: mother somewhere asking her own mother what it was like. 677 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,880 Speaker 2: It's heart achingly beautiful and sometimes a beautiful heartache. She 678 00:28:34,961 --> 00:28:37,521 Speaker 2: tells you this is incredible, the best thing she's ever done. 679 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:38,201 Speaker 1: Believe her. 680 00:28:38,441 --> 00:28:40,321 Speaker 2: If she tells you this is hard, the hardest thing 681 00:28:40,361 --> 00:28:41,641 Speaker 2: she's ever done, believe her. 682 00:28:42,841 --> 00:28:47,520 Speaker 1: Wow, everything is so relatable, Oh my gosh. 683 00:28:47,561 --> 00:28:50,401 Speaker 2: And it's just, you know, it just hits like everyone's 684 00:28:50,401 --> 00:28:52,401 Speaker 2: in different seasons and everyone's going through different challenges. 685 00:28:52,401 --> 00:28:55,841 Speaker 1: We all experienced most of that. I know, like most 686 00:28:55,841 --> 00:28:58,521 Speaker 1: of that. I'm like, yeah, like the tiptoeing out that 687 00:28:58,761 --> 00:29:00,720 Speaker 1: being on newt like I'm going through with Tarla, like 688 00:29:00,841 --> 00:29:03,001 Speaker 1: just a bit tapped out. She's only twenty four seven. 689 00:29:03,041 --> 00:29:04,841 Speaker 1: I couldn't even get dressed last night because she was 690 00:29:04,881 --> 00:29:07,801 Speaker 1: just Mammy maybe Mammy maye mayy on me all the time. 691 00:29:07,841 --> 00:29:10,521 Speaker 1: But then there's the thought of them not being there 692 00:29:10,521 --> 00:29:13,520 Speaker 1: and they're out being a teenager like, nah, can't I 693 00:29:13,561 --> 00:29:17,321 Speaker 1: can't know. I don't know how I'm gonna cope. Steve's like, 694 00:29:17,481 --> 00:29:19,241 Speaker 1: you know, the good thing about all these interest rates 695 00:29:19,241 --> 00:29:20,601 Speaker 1: and everything, it's gonna be a lot harder for our 696 00:29:20,681 --> 00:29:24,681 Speaker 1: children to buy houses. Maybe they'll stay at home. Want 697 00:29:24,721 --> 00:29:26,921 Speaker 1: the kids moving out, so I needed to worry. I 698 00:29:26,921 --> 00:29:29,401 Speaker 1: feel like my parents couldn't. Step Dad kicked me out 699 00:29:29,401 --> 00:29:31,161 Speaker 1: when I was sixteen, But I feel like if my 700 00:29:31,241 --> 00:29:33,081 Speaker 1: mom would have been like pretty stoked for us to be. 701 00:29:33,041 --> 00:29:35,041 Speaker 2: Out, I'm going to be so emotional. 702 00:29:35,361 --> 00:29:37,720 Speaker 1: I do not want them moving out. But then when 703 00:29:37,761 --> 00:29:39,281 Speaker 1: we change our mind when they're eighteen, we'll be like, 704 00:29:39,361 --> 00:29:43,361 Speaker 1: get out, go get a job, stop leaching off me. 705 00:29:43,721 --> 00:29:45,841 Speaker 2: Maybe because there's a mother out there that's probably film 706 00:29:45,921 --> 00:29:46,561 Speaker 2: that right now. 707 00:29:47,961 --> 00:29:51,961 Speaker 1: There would be Oh, there's just so much hay and. 708 00:29:51,961 --> 00:29:54,240 Speaker 2: It's so emotional and being a parent, like you know 709 00:29:54,481 --> 00:29:56,081 Speaker 2: all of this, you know that's come up for you, 710 00:29:56,161 --> 00:29:59,321 Speaker 2: and it's just yeah, it goes so freaking fast. It 711 00:29:59,481 --> 00:30:02,921 Speaker 2: really is such emotional rollercoaster. There's so much guilt that 712 00:30:03,001 --> 00:30:05,601 Speaker 2: can like come from you know, one if you're doing 713 00:30:05,601 --> 00:30:07,161 Speaker 2: things right or and like, I don't know, I just 714 00:30:07,201 --> 00:30:08,961 Speaker 2: read that. I was like, that is so fucking validating. 715 00:30:09,121 --> 00:30:09,801 Speaker 1: Yes it is. 716 00:30:09,961 --> 00:30:12,921 Speaker 2: Everyone's going through their own thing. And just because your 717 00:30:12,961 --> 00:30:15,361 Speaker 2: season might look completely different to someone else's. Like even 718 00:30:15,361 --> 00:30:17,121 Speaker 2: when you think about that, people go get so much 719 00:30:17,161 --> 00:30:18,641 Speaker 2: easier when they're older, and then. 720 00:30:18,481 --> 00:30:19,200 Speaker 1: Like does it do it? 721 00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:21,121 Speaker 2: Because then you're worrying about them being out, You're worrying 722 00:30:21,121 --> 00:30:22,480 Speaker 2: about this, Like it's just different. 723 00:30:22,641 --> 00:30:25,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, and there's pros and comes to both, and 724 00:30:25,201 --> 00:30:28,081 Speaker 1: there's so many easier aspects of them get older, but 725 00:30:28,121 --> 00:30:30,520 Speaker 1: also harder. Like even when I was crying the other 726 00:30:30,561 --> 00:30:32,961 Speaker 1: day on the couch, like just Tarji was like, what's wrong, Mummy, 727 00:30:33,001 --> 00:30:35,881 Speaker 1: and like trying to explain to him what I'm feeling, 728 00:30:36,041 --> 00:30:38,921 Speaker 1: like how much can his brain actually process and understand? 729 00:30:38,961 --> 00:30:40,641 Speaker 1: But I also, I'm not going to treat him like 730 00:30:40,681 --> 00:30:42,440 Speaker 1: two year old. I'm gonna be really honest and be like, 731 00:30:42,481 --> 00:30:44,241 Speaker 1: you know, mummy's really struggling with life at the moment. 732 00:30:44,241 --> 00:30:46,641 Speaker 1: I'm feeling quite stressed and I'm really really tired. And 733 00:30:46,761 --> 00:30:51,401 Speaker 1: he was just like, okay, did invade them one bit, 734 00:30:51,841 --> 00:30:54,841 Speaker 1: but like, yeah, there's just so much to it, Hey, 735 00:30:55,041 --> 00:31:00,561 Speaker 1: so much motherhood, life, working, career and change change, the 736 00:31:00,641 --> 00:31:04,121 Speaker 1: amount of changes we go through far out. Yeah, it's 737 00:31:04,161 --> 00:31:08,361 Speaker 1: a lot. But ps, oh yes, you don't have to 738 00:31:08,361 --> 00:31:11,561 Speaker 1: have it all figured out all the time. Give yourself 739 00:31:11,601 --> 00:31:13,121 Speaker 1: some space. Ps. 740 00:31:13,521 --> 00:31:15,440 Speaker 2: You're going to start pissing off a lot of people 741 00:31:15,441 --> 00:31:17,081 Speaker 2: when you start doing what's right for you. 742 00:31:17,601 --> 00:31:20,361 Speaker 1: Oh I hate that the truth. Thank you so much 743 00:31:20,401 --> 00:31:22,281 Speaker 1: for joining us, guys. But if a catch up episode, 744 00:31:22,521 --> 00:31:24,440 Speaker 1: very relatable episode. I know so many of you be 745 00:31:24,481 --> 00:31:28,000 Speaker 1: experiencing so much change and having those questions of like, 746 00:31:28,161 --> 00:31:30,121 Speaker 1: you know, what can I do differently? Or am I 747 00:31:30,161 --> 00:31:32,001 Speaker 1: missing out on time with my kids? Or how can 748 00:31:32,081 --> 00:31:35,641 Speaker 1: I make this work? It's a lot of navigators and 749 00:31:35,721 --> 00:31:38,561 Speaker 1: everyone's situation is so different. Obviously, I'm speaking from a 750 00:31:38,601 --> 00:31:41,321 Speaker 1: position of owning your own business. If you're in a 751 00:31:41,521 --> 00:31:43,201 Speaker 1: nine to five job for someone else, it's a lot 752 00:31:43,241 --> 00:31:46,881 Speaker 1: trickier and harder, and that's a lot to process. But 753 00:31:47,161 --> 00:31:50,241 Speaker 1: there's always options and choices. It's just figuring it out. 754 00:31:50,121 --> 00:31:51,721 Speaker 2: That's it, and you're always checking in. 755 00:31:51,961 --> 00:31:55,801 Speaker 1: Definitely, just the powerhood of support, whether that's your sisterhood, 756 00:31:55,841 --> 00:31:59,321 Speaker 1: your family, your friends, your community, Like it is just everything. 757 00:31:59,361 --> 00:32:01,561 Speaker 1: I could not have got through this last month without you, 758 00:32:01,641 --> 00:32:04,440 Speaker 1: without Steve, without my mom, without my community, just everyone 759 00:32:04,521 --> 00:32:07,721 Speaker 1: just loving me. It's so beautiful. So please make sure 760 00:32:07,721 --> 00:32:09,961 Speaker 1: you're surrounding yourself with the right people. 761 00:32:10,001 --> 00:32:14,121 Speaker 2: Getting emotional for you. Even hearing how amazing Steve's been, 762 00:32:14,201 --> 00:32:15,480 Speaker 2: Like when you're talking about in the car, I was 763 00:32:15,481 --> 00:32:17,121 Speaker 2: like getting a bit tears. I was like, that's just 764 00:32:17,161 --> 00:32:17,641 Speaker 2: so nice. 765 00:32:17,801 --> 00:32:20,720 Speaker 1: I know, it's just it's the validation, like because I 766 00:32:20,761 --> 00:32:23,041 Speaker 1: feel guilty at the moment. And I said that to him, 767 00:32:23,041 --> 00:32:24,921 Speaker 1: and he was like, you are never a burden, But 768 00:32:24,961 --> 00:32:26,681 Speaker 1: I said, I feel guilty because you know me, I'm 769 00:32:26,681 --> 00:32:29,161 Speaker 1: a pretty high vi person. My glass is pretty full. 770 00:32:29,201 --> 00:32:30,721 Speaker 1: Like I don't like to be a victim. I don't 771 00:32:30,761 --> 00:32:33,841 Speaker 1: like complaining about things. I love my life. I'm super grateful. 772 00:32:33,881 --> 00:32:36,481 Speaker 1: I feel like I live in that emotional home yeah 773 00:32:36,521 --> 00:32:39,480 Speaker 1: pretty naturally, yeah, full of beans. Whereas now I'm like, 774 00:32:40,161 --> 00:32:41,601 Speaker 1: I don't know when I'm going to cry, and it's 775 00:32:41,641 --> 00:32:44,041 Speaker 1: like every other day I'm crying and I'm not feeling 776 00:32:44,081 --> 00:32:46,321 Speaker 1: like myself, and I'm feeling stuck and lost and I 777 00:32:46,321 --> 00:32:48,081 Speaker 1: don't even know why, or I'm trying to figure it 778 00:32:48,121 --> 00:32:50,801 Speaker 1: out and I'm like a broken record sometimes to you 779 00:32:50,841 --> 00:32:52,841 Speaker 1: and Steve or whatever. And I said to Steve, I 780 00:32:52,881 --> 00:32:55,000 Speaker 1: feel really guilty that I'm not the wife that I 781 00:32:55,001 --> 00:32:56,681 Speaker 1: want to be and I'm not the wife that you're 782 00:32:56,761 --> 00:32:59,081 Speaker 1: used to and I feel like a burden just coming 783 00:32:59,081 --> 00:33:00,601 Speaker 1: in crying to you all the time. And he was like, 784 00:33:00,681 --> 00:33:03,720 Speaker 1: you are not a burden. Get her back. Yeah, And 785 00:33:03,761 --> 00:33:06,481 Speaker 1: he's like, I just so understand where you're feeling. Like 786 00:33:06,601 --> 00:33:09,760 Speaker 1: He's like any entrepreneur or business owner, if you were 787 00:33:09,841 --> 00:33:11,921 Speaker 1: to tell this to them, they would one hundred percent 788 00:33:11,921 --> 00:33:13,961 Speaker 1: of experiences. He's like, I experienced this last year, Like 789 00:33:14,001 --> 00:33:15,520 Speaker 1: he went through a hard time where he was feeling 790 00:33:15,521 --> 00:33:18,281 Speaker 1: like this and just wanting to give up. He's like, 791 00:33:18,321 --> 00:33:19,841 Speaker 1: it's just so hard when you feel like you're doing 792 00:33:19,881 --> 00:33:21,681 Speaker 1: all the right things and this is stressing you, and 793 00:33:21,681 --> 00:33:24,361 Speaker 1: it's just He's like, it's a lot, but that validation, Hey, 794 00:33:24,401 --> 00:33:27,681 Speaker 1: it's so important. I think every human just wants to 795 00:33:27,681 --> 00:33:30,681 Speaker 1: be seen, heard and validated. Yeah. You know, it's just 796 00:33:31,041 --> 00:33:33,760 Speaker 1: sometimes when you go to someone you don't even need advice, 797 00:33:33,841 --> 00:33:36,281 Speaker 1: you just need them to hold that space. Yeah. Yeah, 798 00:33:36,321 --> 00:33:40,561 Speaker 1: he's been incredible, so so lucky. Oh anyways, guys, thanks 799 00:33:40,561 --> 00:33:42,841 Speaker 1: so much for listening and we'll see it on Wednesday. 800 00:33:42,961 --> 00:33:43,720 Speaker 1: Bye bye