1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281 Speaker 1: Apoda production. 2 00:00:10,121 --> 00:00:13,521 Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the 3 00:00:13,601 --> 00:00:16,441 Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects 4 00:00:16,481 --> 00:00:19,641 Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect 5 00:00:19,721 --> 00:00:22,921 Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today. 6 00:00:25,081 --> 00:00:28,801 Speaker 3: Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara. 7 00:00:29,001 --> 00:00:31,321 Speaker 3: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level 8 00:00:31,401 --> 00:00:31,841 Speaker 3: up together. 9 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,641 Speaker 1: Let's go deep, let the emotions flow and find the 10 00:00:34,721 --> 00:00:37,481 Speaker 1: lessons to grow and Glow. Nothing is off the table 11 00:00:37,521 --> 00:00:44,561 Speaker 1: with Grow and Glow and we're here to be your expander. Hello, guys, 12 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:48,520 Speaker 1: welcome back to Grow And I feel like me to 13 00:00:48,521 --> 00:00:50,160 Speaker 1: be so giggy in this one. And it's going to 14 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,601 Speaker 1: be so relatable if you are a mum or if 15 00:00:52,641 --> 00:00:56,361 Speaker 1: you have a relationship. Yes, oh my gosh, guys have 16 00:00:56,401 --> 00:00:59,241 Speaker 1: seen me talk about four years and years and years 17 00:00:59,281 --> 00:01:01,761 Speaker 1: just like talking about choosing your heart because in life 18 00:01:01,801 --> 00:01:03,561 Speaker 1: has so many different hearts. It's like, jus your hard, 19 00:01:04,001 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 1: I've got this new thing with Like Steve, we always 20 00:01:06,241 --> 00:01:09,281 Speaker 1: just say, like choose your battle with the kids. Is 21 00:01:09,441 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: it worth a battle? Is it worth the energy? Is 22 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,761 Speaker 1: it worth the fire? Is it worth them getting upset 23 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,881 Speaker 1: and so many things. Now that we're speaking about it more, 24 00:01:15,881 --> 00:01:19,320 Speaker 1: I'm like, it's not worth it. No, keep everyone happy, 25 00:01:19,401 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 1: Like does it really matter? Like why are we obsessing 26 00:01:22,121 --> 00:01:25,401 Speaker 1: over that? And just fucking chill. Yeah. So we've made 27 00:01:25,481 --> 00:01:26,961 Speaker 1: a whole list and. 28 00:01:26,881 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 3: It's mum life but also like relates to radition too. 29 00:01:30,321 --> 00:01:32,521 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a bit of both. Yeah, so both at 30 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 1: a list. We'll just go one for one and see 31 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,761 Speaker 1: how many you relate to. And also, if you're in 32 00:01:36,801 --> 00:01:39,201 Speaker 1: our private forum and there's some that you have, let 33 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,121 Speaker 1: us know because I feel like we could learn more 34 00:01:41,161 --> 00:01:43,280 Speaker 1: that be like, oh true, that doesn't really matter. Yeah, 35 00:01:43,321 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 1: so posted the forum as well. If you're not a 36 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,761 Speaker 1: member there, you can just literally go to Facebook type 37 00:01:46,761 --> 00:01:49,281 Speaker 1: and grow and glow and we accept everyone in there. 38 00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:50,321 Speaker 1: So join us. 39 00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:53,521 Speaker 3: Yeah, come join us, such a beautiful space. All right, 40 00:01:53,561 --> 00:01:54,401 Speaker 3: what's your first one? 41 00:01:54,401 --> 00:01:56,601 Speaker 1: Actually my first one? And so many mums are probably 42 00:01:56,601 --> 00:01:58,681 Speaker 1: gonna be like, oh my god, who cares? But I 43 00:01:58,721 --> 00:02:01,401 Speaker 1: love dressing my kids. Taj doesn't really care what I 44 00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:03,841 Speaker 1: dress him in or actually lately he's more so wanting 45 00:02:03,881 --> 00:02:05,921 Speaker 1: to wear everything dragons because he goes to the dragon. 46 00:02:06,441 --> 00:02:08,241 Speaker 1: But he's literally allowed me to dress him like up 47 00:02:08,321 --> 00:02:11,241 Speaker 1: until now, and I like my nice clothesman. Even it 48 00:02:11,281 --> 00:02:13,401 Speaker 1: was just like a black shirt and denim shorts and 49 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:15,761 Speaker 1: a cute hat with matching shoes, Like I just like 50 00:02:15,841 --> 00:02:18,761 Speaker 1: him to look matching and cute. Tarlte girls are just 51 00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:23,001 Speaker 1: the funnest to dress, so much fun. But she's already like, 52 00:02:23,281 --> 00:02:26,721 Speaker 1: don't want to wear that, like this my mummy, this shoes. Yeah, 53 00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:30,201 Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, doesn't go like I to put 54 00:02:30,201 --> 00:02:32,361 Speaker 1: the pink bow in here, and she's like orange bow, 55 00:02:32,601 --> 00:02:35,801 Speaker 1: like no hair. And now I'm just like, oh, whatever, 56 00:02:36,041 --> 00:02:38,161 Speaker 1: live your life. You want to choose your clothes. Choose 57 00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:38,841 Speaker 1: your clothes. 58 00:02:38,881 --> 00:02:41,041 Speaker 3: You know. It's like the odd colorful socks and stuff 59 00:02:41,041 --> 00:02:42,401 Speaker 3: like that. For me, it's so funny. 60 00:02:42,481 --> 00:02:45,280 Speaker 1: Has a different people always putting out on social media too. 61 00:02:45,601 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 1: He'll wear odd shoes. 62 00:02:47,121 --> 00:02:48,561 Speaker 3: That's any trending thing, isn't it. 63 00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:49,881 Speaker 1: I don't know. He just likes to do it. 64 00:02:49,921 --> 00:02:52,001 Speaker 3: I thought I've seen someone like trendy doing that. 65 00:02:52,081 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 1: Oh there you go. He's done it for years and 66 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:57,161 Speaker 1: it still annoys me. But it's like it's not worth 67 00:02:57,161 --> 00:02:59,601 Speaker 1: the battle. Alpose, you're gettingto an argument with an eight 68 00:02:59,641 --> 00:03:02,841 Speaker 1: year old about wearing matching shoes, Like, who fucking cares? Like, 69 00:03:03,281 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 1: You've got more important things to worry about. So that's 70 00:03:05,561 --> 00:03:07,281 Speaker 1: my first one. Just letting go of what they want 71 00:03:07,281 --> 00:03:09,121 Speaker 1: to wear and just let them be comfy whatever. 72 00:03:09,321 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 3: That's so funny. So mine's kind of similar to yours. 73 00:03:11,641 --> 00:03:14,921 Speaker 3: I got a lot of pushback for this online. Letting 74 00:03:14,921 --> 00:03:17,321 Speaker 3: my kids just wear their pajamas. I get people message 75 00:03:17,321 --> 00:03:19,081 Speaker 3: all the time. In winter, we'll go out for a 76 00:03:19,121 --> 00:03:20,400 Speaker 3: walk and like we'll go down the beach and that, 77 00:03:20,881 --> 00:03:23,601 Speaker 3: and I even go down to my pajama sometimes and 78 00:03:23,721 --> 00:03:25,161 Speaker 3: they go down to their jummis and people are like, 79 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:26,881 Speaker 3: I can't believe you let them leave the house of 80 00:03:26,921 --> 00:03:29,921 Speaker 3: their pajamas on. Not worth a battle. It's cold outside. 81 00:03:30,041 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 3: Their pajamas are so nice and warm and cozy. Matter 82 00:03:32,881 --> 00:03:34,761 Speaker 3: of fact, like if Reagan she's having it at home day, 83 00:03:34,961 --> 00:03:36,841 Speaker 3: her favorite thing ever, Like she goes to me all 84 00:03:36,921 --> 00:03:38,961 Speaker 3: day it's a time for my jummis. Yet it's a 85 00:03:38,961 --> 00:03:41,401 Speaker 3: time for my Jami's. Yeah, like loves her jarmis. She'll 86 00:03:41,441 --> 00:03:43,681 Speaker 3: get up some mornings out of bed, take her pajamas 87 00:03:43,721 --> 00:03:46,081 Speaker 3: off and then put another set of pajamas on, and yeah, 88 00:03:46,201 --> 00:03:48,241 Speaker 3: not worth the battle. I'm like, she's so happy, she's 89 00:03:48,281 --> 00:03:48,841 Speaker 3: so comfy. 90 00:03:48,961 --> 00:03:50,761 Speaker 1: Yeah, what's the matter? I think people forget how close 91 00:03:50,801 --> 00:03:52,441 Speaker 1: you lived to the beach too, Like for a lot 92 00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:55,321 Speaker 1: of people to go to the beach, it's an actual event, 93 00:03:55,481 --> 00:03:57,681 Speaker 1: like getting your bag ready, getting all the towers, packing 94 00:03:57,721 --> 00:03:59,401 Speaker 1: into the car, getting the kids in the car, like, 95 00:03:59,521 --> 00:04:01,441 Speaker 1: whereas few guys, it's just you walk down there. Yeah, 96 00:04:01,481 --> 00:04:03,321 Speaker 1: you forget that's very close. It's part of your life. 97 00:04:03,361 --> 00:04:04,841 Speaker 1: That's like, what do we do. Let's go to the beach. 98 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,041 Speaker 3: But even like when we go to cooling out of beach, 99 00:04:07,201 --> 00:04:08,641 Speaker 3: drive the car, still taking. 100 00:04:08,401 --> 00:04:09,921 Speaker 1: Down the pajama especially if. 101 00:04:09,881 --> 00:04:12,681 Speaker 3: It's early Yeah, I think if it's early morning and 102 00:04:12,721 --> 00:04:15,801 Speaker 3: their comfy linky though, he's so funny. The girls love 103 00:04:15,841 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 3: being in the pjs all day. He's the first thing 104 00:04:17,361 --> 00:04:19,961 Speaker 3: that can I get changed. Really hates having his pajamas 105 00:04:19,961 --> 00:04:21,481 Speaker 3: on and like doesn't like anyone seeing them with his 106 00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:24,601 Speaker 3: jarm he's on. He's so funny, he's so cute. 107 00:04:25,001 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 1: My next one I find very challenging, but I fully 108 00:04:28,361 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 1: have let go, and I think I pushed it too 109 00:04:31,161 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 1: much with taj Is forcing them to eat a meal, 110 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,041 Speaker 1: and not that I've literally physically forced, but we would 111 00:04:37,161 --> 00:04:40,561 Speaker 1: really heavily encourage charge to eat more because he just 112 00:04:40,601 --> 00:04:43,080 Speaker 1: hasn't been that interested in food. He's not a massive foodie. 113 00:04:43,161 --> 00:04:45,001 Speaker 1: I was not growing up either. I was happy if 114 00:04:45,001 --> 00:04:47,121 Speaker 1: you gave me orange juice, like I wouldn't even notice 115 00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,761 Speaker 1: for I didn't eat. I just was not interested until 116 00:04:48,801 --> 00:04:51,281 Speaker 1: I got to like older. Now you never stopped seeing 117 00:04:51,281 --> 00:04:53,921 Speaker 1: me eating. I'm eating twenty four seven. But yeah, I 118 00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:55,481 Speaker 1: think I just put a lot of pressure on him 119 00:04:55,481 --> 00:04:57,841 Speaker 1: getting enough nutrients and making sure he was eating enough. 120 00:04:57,921 --> 00:05:00,881 Speaker 1: And he's very very tall, and he's very very lean, 121 00:05:00,921 --> 00:05:03,761 Speaker 1: which people are also awful online about. It's quite a 122 00:05:03,801 --> 00:05:05,641 Speaker 1: lot more now that he's older and like more active. 123 00:05:06,161 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 1: But with Tala, she's going through a stage where she's 124 00:05:09,241 --> 00:05:10,841 Speaker 1: a great eater, but all of a sudden, she doesn't 125 00:05:10,841 --> 00:05:13,201 Speaker 1: want to eat a proper meal. She's more like a grazer. 126 00:05:13,241 --> 00:05:14,841 Speaker 1: So I'm trying to hold back from the snacks, but 127 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: like even the dinner, she'll pick a little bit and 128 00:05:16,401 --> 00:05:18,440 Speaker 1: then run around. And I was trying to get her 129 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,321 Speaker 1: to like sit on the chair and sit as a family, 130 00:05:20,801 --> 00:05:22,401 Speaker 1: and Steve wants her to do it as well, because 131 00:05:22,401 --> 00:05:24,481 Speaker 1: it's like a nice time to catch up. But I 132 00:05:24,521 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 1: just look at him. I'm like, cheese, you batter, babe, 133 00:05:26,081 --> 00:05:28,601 Speaker 1: It's not worth it. She's hungry, she will eat. If 134 00:05:28,641 --> 00:05:31,281 Speaker 1: he is hungry, he will eat. Sometimes we're not hungry. 135 00:05:31,481 --> 00:05:32,841 Speaker 1: And later on if they're like, oh, I want to 136 00:05:32,841 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: snack her an ice pole, it's like, no, good dinner 137 00:05:34,921 --> 00:05:36,601 Speaker 1: is still on the table. You're hungry, you can eat that, 138 00:05:37,281 --> 00:05:40,041 Speaker 1: but it's not worth the battle of us getting upset 139 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:44,001 Speaker 1: them having a negative experience around the dinner table, around food, 140 00:05:44,121 --> 00:05:45,761 Speaker 1: around their family, like I don't want that. 141 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,441 Speaker 3: And the dinner table thing will come back with each 142 00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:50,441 Speaker 3: of our kids have all gone around that age where 143 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,561 Speaker 3: they've disappeared and we haven't had us all at the 144 00:05:52,801 --> 00:05:55,921 Speaker 3: dinner table because we love it too. It comes back, yeah, yeah, 145 00:05:56,641 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 3: the phases of eating well, yeah, I feel like so 146 00:05:58,801 --> 00:06:00,720 Speaker 3: many mums have said they were great eaters up until 147 00:06:00,721 --> 00:06:01,961 Speaker 3: two and the same thing. 148 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:04,401 Speaker 1: Now she's turned too. She's like, it's a big roll 149 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 1: of past us and shouldn't avow the whole thing, like 150 00:06:07,001 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 1: we roll a rice. She's a carb gal. So I'm like, 151 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,041 Speaker 1: it's just not worth it. No, it's not. And I 152 00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:13,801 Speaker 1: know there's a lot of other mums who will relate 153 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,281 Speaker 1: to this and feel this because you just want them 154 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,721 Speaker 1: to be healthy and have the nutrients and to be full. 155 00:06:18,041 --> 00:06:20,841 Speaker 1: We get so worried. But kids are the best intuitive eaters. 156 00:06:20,961 --> 00:06:21,161 Speaker 3: Yeah. 157 00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,681 Speaker 1: Really, we as adults are not great. We've been taught 158 00:06:23,721 --> 00:06:25,561 Speaker 1: to eat everything on your plate, don't waste it. Like 159 00:06:25,601 --> 00:06:27,361 Speaker 1: my Stepdag used to say to me, you know the 160 00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:29,761 Speaker 1: children in Africa are starving. That would kill for your food, 161 00:06:29,801 --> 00:06:31,440 Speaker 1: Like make me feel so bad for not eating, and 162 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,361 Speaker 1: I would force it down and like even if I 163 00:06:33,361 --> 00:06:35,801 Speaker 1: felt sick. We are not good at intuitive eaters. We 164 00:06:35,801 --> 00:06:38,601 Speaker 1: don't want to waste food. We overeat. It's so easily accessible. 165 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,001 Speaker 1: You watch kids. They will stop when they're full. Yeah, 166 00:06:41,081 --> 00:06:44,801 Speaker 1: they will let you know. They're crying, screaming, begging, snatching. 167 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,361 Speaker 1: They will tell you that they're hungry. We need to 168 00:06:47,401 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: trust them more. 169 00:06:48,601 --> 00:06:50,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, and our kids, like depending what we're doing, if 170 00:06:50,521 --> 00:06:53,361 Speaker 3: we're really active, they eat so much food and then 171 00:06:53,401 --> 00:06:56,161 Speaker 3: other days with that slow they barely eat. But you 172 00:06:56,281 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 3: just got to know it comes in waves. 173 00:06:57,761 --> 00:06:59,881 Speaker 1: Hey. Yeah, it's just not worth the battle of trying 174 00:06:59,921 --> 00:07:01,241 Speaker 1: to force something. 175 00:07:03,001 --> 00:07:05,601 Speaker 3: Okay, So my next one is one about hubby. So 176 00:07:05,681 --> 00:07:09,400 Speaker 3: if he is off, rather than questioning him straight away, 177 00:07:09,881 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 3: just giving him time. 178 00:07:11,201 --> 00:07:11,641 Speaker 1: Love that. 179 00:07:11,761 --> 00:07:13,641 Speaker 3: So when he's off, instead of being like, babe, why 180 00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:16,361 Speaker 3: are you stappy? What's going on? And asking, I just 181 00:07:16,361 --> 00:07:18,481 Speaker 3: bite my tongue and I go not with the battle, 182 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,401 Speaker 3: because then half the time what happens is an hour 183 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:22,121 Speaker 3: or so later he cools off. He's just in like 184 00:07:22,161 --> 00:07:24,481 Speaker 3: a crappy mood, as we all do. Yeah, and he 185 00:07:24,521 --> 00:07:26,601 Speaker 3: turns around, he's like, I'm sorry about this morning. Yeah, 186 00:07:26,641 --> 00:07:30,041 Speaker 3: but if I question it, it makes him more agitated. 187 00:07:30,561 --> 00:07:32,681 Speaker 3: So choosing my battles off when he's off, just letting 188 00:07:32,721 --> 00:07:34,681 Speaker 3: him have his mood and not trying to like pull 189 00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:37,521 Speaker 3: him higher, just let him have it, yeah, and just 190 00:07:37,561 --> 00:07:39,361 Speaker 3: accepting that that's the little mood that he's in at 191 00:07:39,401 --> 00:07:41,641 Speaker 3: the moment, and yeah, I made the mistake too. Similar 192 00:07:41,681 --> 00:07:43,481 Speaker 3: Sometimes I'll try and like make it about me? 193 00:07:44,121 --> 00:07:46,041 Speaker 1: What have I done? Why you upset? Like are you 194 00:07:46,081 --> 00:07:48,081 Speaker 1: angry at me? He's like, this isn't about you. I'm 195 00:07:48,121 --> 00:07:50,281 Speaker 1: just like stretched at work and I need to compress 196 00:07:50,321 --> 00:07:52,081 Speaker 1: for the day. So now I'm the same, I'm like, 197 00:07:52,121 --> 00:07:53,721 Speaker 1: read the room. Okay. Maybe he just needs a bit 198 00:07:53,761 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 1: more space, or he's touched out, or he's got million 199 00:07:56,321 --> 00:07:58,481 Speaker 1: things in his mind. Just give them a bit of time. Yeah, 200 00:07:58,721 --> 00:08:02,641 Speaker 1: like men need that. Yeah, I love that. My next 201 00:08:02,641 --> 00:08:04,961 Speaker 1: one at the moment which someone's going to be like, 202 00:08:05,241 --> 00:08:07,321 Speaker 1: that's disgusting. When I was telling you, like Kurt would 203 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,721 Speaker 1: not allow this. But it's just like the bath time. 204 00:08:09,841 --> 00:08:11,681 Speaker 1: She doesn't want to have a bath every night. I'm like, 205 00:08:11,761 --> 00:08:14,281 Speaker 1: choose your battles. She's not filthy, muddy. She's like we 206 00:08:14,321 --> 00:08:16,921 Speaker 1: can wipe down her face in her hands whatever. She 207 00:08:17,081 --> 00:08:18,721 Speaker 1: is like crying, she doesn't want to get in the 208 00:08:18,721 --> 00:08:21,201 Speaker 1: bath or shower. Cool, you can skip it. It's not 209 00:08:21,241 --> 00:08:22,961 Speaker 1: worth the battle anymore. With Papa jams On, we go 210 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,321 Speaker 1: on the lounge, we get extra time with the lounge 211 00:08:24,401 --> 00:08:27,201 Speaker 1: into play and hangs the family. Yeah. Yeah, so that's 212 00:08:27,281 --> 00:08:28,041 Speaker 1: just not worth it. 213 00:08:28,361 --> 00:08:30,441 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I feel like I'm more leaning your way. 214 00:08:30,881 --> 00:08:32,881 Speaker 3: But then to Kurt, it's really important because he's like, 215 00:08:32,961 --> 00:08:34,361 Speaker 3: I feel like I have such a good night's sleep 216 00:08:34,361 --> 00:08:37,801 Speaker 3: when I'm clean. It's like his story. So I'm like, okay, 217 00:08:37,801 --> 00:08:43,481 Speaker 3: then you look after bath them. Yeah, but he's really 218 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:46,081 Speaker 3: adamant about it. But there's been a couple of times 219 00:08:46,081 --> 00:08:47,321 Speaker 3: where I've been able to twist his arms. I was 220 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,121 Speaker 3: like a change his sheets in the morning, I don't. 221 00:08:48,921 --> 00:08:51,361 Speaker 1: Want to change it. Warning. So for him it is 222 00:08:51,401 --> 00:08:53,401 Speaker 1: worth the battle of his kids getting upset to make 223 00:08:53,441 --> 00:08:53,961 Speaker 1: sure they're clean. 224 00:08:54,081 --> 00:08:56,761 Speaker 3: He'll come up with a different strategy. So he'll go, Okay, 225 00:08:56,761 --> 00:08:58,201 Speaker 3: you don't want a bath, you in a shower, or 226 00:08:58,201 --> 00:08:59,641 Speaker 3: you don't come upstairs dad, you. 227 00:08:59,601 --> 00:09:01,361 Speaker 1: Have a shower with you won't have any of it. 228 00:09:01,561 --> 00:09:04,521 Speaker 3: Yeah, Kurt will try like five even things like I'll 229 00:09:04,521 --> 00:09:06,721 Speaker 3: put a bath and I'll do this. He won't be like, no, 230 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:09,241 Speaker 3: too bad, you're getting in. He won't like force obviously 231 00:09:09,281 --> 00:09:11,681 Speaker 3: them in. So this next one is so funny, but 232 00:09:11,761 --> 00:09:13,561 Speaker 3: Kurt is hilarious with crumbs on the floors. This is 233 00:09:13,561 --> 00:09:15,001 Speaker 3: a hubby one again. I've kind of tried to go 234 00:09:15,041 --> 00:09:18,161 Speaker 3: one for age. Ye. He will vacuum fifty million times 235 00:09:18,201 --> 00:09:20,041 Speaker 3: a day and I used to be like, babe, just 236 00:09:20,161 --> 00:09:22,161 Speaker 3: leave it, just leave it. And now I'm like Chushie 237 00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,361 Speaker 3: battles if it makes him happy, yeah, just let him 238 00:09:24,401 --> 00:09:27,041 Speaker 3: more relaxed, let him go. But it's like it's literally 239 00:09:27,161 --> 00:09:28,721 Speaker 3: the kids will eat and he will not let it 240 00:09:28,721 --> 00:09:30,361 Speaker 3: because he's like then they travel it through the house. 241 00:09:30,881 --> 00:09:33,481 Speaker 3: So he's just out with the vacuum. 242 00:09:33,481 --> 00:09:35,081 Speaker 1: But the dice and it is kind of easy to 243 00:09:35,081 --> 00:09:36,401 Speaker 1: get it done. Yeah. 244 00:09:36,521 --> 00:09:38,721 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I would even just wait till like all 245 00:09:38,761 --> 00:09:39,681 Speaker 3: the kids are finished eating. 246 00:09:39,801 --> 00:09:42,281 Speaker 1: Yeah, he is like doing it like three times. 247 00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:44,681 Speaker 3: Yes, So yeah, I used to be like babe because 248 00:09:44,721 --> 00:09:45,961 Speaker 3: it used to I think it's the noise in that 249 00:09:46,321 --> 00:09:47,921 Speaker 3: I used to get frustrated, like just leave it, Babe, 250 00:09:47,961 --> 00:09:49,441 Speaker 3: to leave it. Now, I'm like, you know what, let 251 00:09:49,521 --> 00:09:52,481 Speaker 3: him go. They let him go makes him happy. 252 00:09:53,401 --> 00:09:55,761 Speaker 1: This is a hobby and the kid one. But how 253 00:09:55,841 --> 00:09:59,361 Speaker 1: Steve makes Taj's lunch compared to how I make Taj's lunch, 254 00:09:59,961 --> 00:10:02,401 Speaker 1: I'm like very particular on his lunch. I like to 255 00:10:02,441 --> 00:10:04,961 Speaker 1: have lots of variety, lots of nutrients, like a little 256 00:10:05,121 --> 00:10:08,001 Speaker 1: treat in there. It's very well balanced. There's healthy fats, 257 00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:10,041 Speaker 1: there's a bit of protein, there's calves, like there's everything 258 00:10:10,041 --> 00:10:12,721 Speaker 1: that he needs. I feel to have a well nourished day. 259 00:10:13,201 --> 00:10:16,161 Speaker 1: Whereas when I was in Bali, Taj was like mom, 260 00:10:16,481 --> 00:10:18,801 Speaker 1: Dad made a lunchbox and it was just two sandwiches 261 00:10:18,801 --> 00:10:21,521 Speaker 1: and two Milo bars and an apple, and like the 262 00:10:21,601 --> 00:10:23,441 Speaker 1: rule is you have one Milo barba day. 263 00:10:23,641 --> 00:10:26,161 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I was like, oh, I was. 264 00:10:26,121 --> 00:10:28,361 Speaker 1: Like not worth the battle. Don't need to bring it up. 265 00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:31,001 Speaker 1: Like just let him do things how he wants to 266 00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:34,041 Speaker 1: do it. He's fed, he's okay, he survived, It's all good. 267 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:36,041 Speaker 1: But something like that at home, like I'm very particular 268 00:10:36,081 --> 00:10:38,081 Speaker 1: about but it's just not worth the battle making Steve 269 00:10:38,121 --> 00:10:39,801 Speaker 1: feel shit when he's just trying to help him doing 270 00:10:39,801 --> 00:10:40,401 Speaker 1: the best he can. 271 00:10:40,521 --> 00:10:42,001 Speaker 3: Yeah, when you're not there, and maybe he. 272 00:10:41,961 --> 00:10:44,081 Speaker 1: Doesn't think it's like as important as what I do. 273 00:10:44,161 --> 00:10:46,761 Speaker 1: And that's also okay. Mine isn't right or wrong, and 274 00:10:46,801 --> 00:10:48,721 Speaker 1: neither is his way. Yeah, it's just how he. 275 00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:50,441 Speaker 3: Does it, isn't it crazy? All of our values? Hey, 276 00:10:50,481 --> 00:10:53,201 Speaker 3: it comes back to everything, like at those core values. 277 00:10:52,881 --> 00:10:55,721 Speaker 1: Which health is like so high for me and Steve's 278 00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:56,321 Speaker 1: a bit more chill. 279 00:10:56,721 --> 00:11:00,921 Speaker 3: Yes, okay, So this is something that really like pet 280 00:11:00,921 --> 00:11:05,081 Speaker 3: peeves me so badly when the kids finish eating and 281 00:11:05,121 --> 00:11:07,841 Speaker 3: I'm with them, similar to like you with Steve, with 282 00:11:07,921 --> 00:11:09,721 Speaker 3: like the hairty staying in and stuff like that with Tala. 283 00:11:10,161 --> 00:11:13,641 Speaker 3: So he will never clean Reagan's face, So Reagan to 284 00:11:13,721 --> 00:11:17,041 Speaker 3: walk around the whole day with Veggie might smearth all 285 00:11:17,081 --> 00:11:19,761 Speaker 3: down her cheeks, spaghetti, bolonnaise all over her chin, all 286 00:11:19,801 --> 00:11:23,401 Speaker 3: over her face. He doesn't clean it. So now rather 287 00:11:23,441 --> 00:11:25,681 Speaker 3: than saying a comment after she finishes eating. Just as 288 00:11:25,721 --> 00:11:27,121 Speaker 3: soon as I see her, I'm like, okay, I'll just 289 00:11:27,161 --> 00:11:29,161 Speaker 3: clean her face now, I'll just do it now. Yeah, 290 00:11:29,201 --> 00:11:31,721 Speaker 3: because it annoys me, it doesn't annoy him. Yes, yeah, 291 00:11:31,761 --> 00:11:32,801 Speaker 3: it's just not worth a battle. 292 00:11:33,001 --> 00:11:36,961 Speaker 1: No, No, I love that what style my kids want 293 00:11:36,961 --> 00:11:39,441 Speaker 1: their hair like. Taj is at the moment wanting to 294 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:42,401 Speaker 1: grow it out and not super long, not a mullet, 295 00:11:42,441 --> 00:11:44,961 Speaker 1: but he wants it longer. But it's like always in 296 00:11:45,041 --> 00:11:47,281 Speaker 1: his eyes. So I'm trying to like encourage him to 297 00:11:47,361 --> 00:11:48,921 Speaker 1: cut it, but he's like, no, I want to grow 298 00:11:48,961 --> 00:11:49,801 Speaker 1: it out. I want to be ab to put it 299 00:11:49,841 --> 00:11:51,881 Speaker 1: behind my ear, and that's just what he wants to do. 300 00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:54,441 Speaker 1: But it just looks so messy and annoying in his eyes. 301 00:11:54,521 --> 00:11:56,041 Speaker 1: It annoys me. But I'm just like, at the end 302 00:11:56,041 --> 00:11:58,161 Speaker 1: of the day, that's not worth getting another battle about. 303 00:11:58,201 --> 00:12:01,241 Speaker 1: I've tried, it hasn't worked. He's very certain with what 304 00:12:01,281 --> 00:12:02,481 Speaker 1: he wants to do. I want him to be his 305 00:12:02,481 --> 00:12:05,321 Speaker 1: own person, to have his own style. Just leave it. 306 00:12:05,361 --> 00:12:07,361 Speaker 1: And same with her. Sometimes she's like no hair, no 307 00:12:07,481 --> 00:12:09,201 Speaker 1: hairs in her eyes and it's just like. 308 00:12:11,201 --> 00:12:11,801 Speaker 3: But no hair. 309 00:12:11,841 --> 00:12:12,001 Speaker 1: Thing. 310 00:12:12,041 --> 00:12:14,681 Speaker 3: With Reagan, we went through that as well, and you 311 00:12:14,681 --> 00:12:17,041 Speaker 3: can see it in their face and you think it's annoying. 312 00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:20,441 Speaker 1: So annoying. Some days I'm just like, nah, it's not 313 00:12:20,481 --> 00:12:22,761 Speaker 1: worth it. No, with your life. Yeah, have hair in 314 00:12:22,761 --> 00:12:24,601 Speaker 1: your eyes and you deal with it. 315 00:12:24,721 --> 00:12:26,881 Speaker 3: Definitely. I think too, because Reggie had her helmet on 316 00:12:26,881 --> 00:12:29,201 Speaker 3: for so long, I felt bad doing her hair. When 317 00:12:29,201 --> 00:12:31,361 Speaker 3: she just wanted it out, I was like, sweet, babe, 318 00:12:31,441 --> 00:12:36,241 Speaker 3: more comfy, you have it out. Something that I am 319 00:12:36,281 --> 00:12:39,161 Speaker 3: happy to do now is just like feed the kids 320 00:12:39,281 --> 00:12:42,041 Speaker 3: messy foods if it's healthy. I feel like certain foods 321 00:12:42,041 --> 00:12:44,081 Speaker 3: like even rice and stuff like that, which your kids love. 322 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,361 Speaker 3: Like we kind of used to be like, oh like 323 00:12:46,401 --> 00:12:48,121 Speaker 3: are we just on the floors or things like that, 324 00:12:48,281 --> 00:12:51,001 Speaker 3: And now especially Kurt, and now we're both just like 325 00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:53,121 Speaker 3: surrendered and we're like, if it's healthy food and it's 326 00:12:53,161 --> 00:12:58,561 Speaker 3: messy and it goes everywhere, who cares? Just yeah, so yeah, 327 00:12:58,601 --> 00:12:59,561 Speaker 3: messy foods. 328 00:12:59,801 --> 00:13:00,081 Speaker 1: Rice. 329 00:13:00,201 --> 00:13:02,481 Speaker 3: Honestly, you find it full days, I swear, especially you 330 00:13:02,521 --> 00:13:06,001 Speaker 3: know the sous she risks with the sticky rice stick Yeah, 331 00:13:06,041 --> 00:13:08,921 Speaker 3: but so good to see the meeting nice and then it's. 332 00:13:08,841 --> 00:13:11,201 Speaker 1: Just eating in general. Yeah, eating the dinner. Yeah, I 333 00:13:11,201 --> 00:13:14,001 Speaker 1: love it. This is one that I did with Taj 334 00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:16,801 Speaker 1: really really badly, and I don't do I learned my 335 00:13:16,881 --> 00:13:19,561 Speaker 1: lesson is like criticizing Steve on how long it takes 336 00:13:19,641 --> 00:13:23,121 Speaker 1: him to change and nappy is so much longer than 337 00:13:23,121 --> 00:13:25,401 Speaker 1: what I am. It's just like and it's done. I'm 338 00:13:25,441 --> 00:13:26,921 Speaker 1: like a wizard at it, but for him, it just 339 00:13:26,921 --> 00:13:29,321 Speaker 1: takes them so much longer, and like he'll pull it 340 00:13:29,361 --> 00:13:30,601 Speaker 1: up too much at the front or too much at 341 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,561 Speaker 1: the back, or like he'll do it and then like 342 00:13:32,601 --> 00:13:34,681 Speaker 1: half of butt cheeks hanging out, and like I used 343 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:37,161 Speaker 1: to criticize them with Tage and get frustrated, was now 344 00:13:37,201 --> 00:13:38,961 Speaker 1: like I try and make it play for so he 345 00:13:39,001 --> 00:13:41,841 Speaker 1: doesn't feel like he's done a bad job. And also 346 00:13:42,001 --> 00:13:44,241 Speaker 1: just think the more that you criticize them, the less 347 00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,641 Speaker 1: they actually want to help and do it. They'll just think, 348 00:13:46,681 --> 00:13:48,241 Speaker 1: will you do it better anyway? And I don't want 349 00:13:48,281 --> 00:13:50,481 Speaker 1: to get in trouble, so like why would I bother? Yeah, 350 00:13:50,601 --> 00:13:52,761 Speaker 1: And I made that mistake with Tag he would just 351 00:13:52,761 --> 00:13:54,161 Speaker 1: like pull back and don't want to help because he's 352 00:13:54,161 --> 00:13:55,961 Speaker 1: like you always tell me I'm doing it wrong, Whereas 353 00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:58,281 Speaker 1: now I'm like, it's not worth it. Half a butt 354 00:13:58,321 --> 00:14:00,041 Speaker 1: cheeks hanging out, Like he'll notice and have a laugh 355 00:14:00,081 --> 00:14:01,841 Speaker 1: about it, and then one of us will pull it over. 356 00:14:02,361 --> 00:14:04,161 Speaker 1: But it's just not worth a battle. It's not worth 357 00:14:04,441 --> 00:14:06,201 Speaker 1: making him feel about it when he's just done the 358 00:14:06,241 --> 00:14:08,641 Speaker 1: best he can. Yeah, it's not as good at it 359 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,761 Speaker 1: than what I am, But that's who cares. 360 00:14:10,801 --> 00:14:13,001 Speaker 3: Whoever it bothers, they can just fix it. That's kind 361 00:14:13,001 --> 00:14:14,761 Speaker 3: of what we do. Like whoever it bothers can just 362 00:14:14,761 --> 00:14:17,441 Speaker 3: fix it rather geting annoyed the other person's like okay, definitely, 363 00:14:17,521 --> 00:14:19,641 Speaker 3: Like I'm particularly about the mouth being cleaned. It's like, 364 00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:20,841 Speaker 3: I'll just clean the mouth. 365 00:14:21,401 --> 00:14:23,361 Speaker 1: On reflection, like why does annoy me that it takes 366 00:14:23,401 --> 00:14:25,401 Speaker 1: them way long to the nappy? Like who cares? Yeah, 367 00:14:25,401 --> 00:14:26,921 Speaker 1: I guess it takes some ten minutes. It doesn't make 368 00:14:26,921 --> 00:14:28,521 Speaker 1: it that long. Who cares if it takes off? 369 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,361 Speaker 3: Like when a man goes to the toilet. 370 00:14:31,361 --> 00:14:32,361 Speaker 1: That's another whole thing. 371 00:14:34,361 --> 00:14:38,521 Speaker 3: Ah this one, Oh okay, I've gotten a lot better 372 00:14:38,561 --> 00:14:40,281 Speaker 3: at this, But this is similar to you with Steve. 373 00:14:40,321 --> 00:14:43,201 Speaker 3: I used to get so irked by this. How slow 374 00:14:43,321 --> 00:14:46,121 Speaker 3: Kurt's reaction time used to like these to their kids. 375 00:14:46,481 --> 00:14:48,681 Speaker 3: So if a kid is scat, if a kid is 376 00:14:48,761 --> 00:14:51,001 Speaker 3: screaming at the top of their lungs and I'm in 377 00:14:51,001 --> 00:14:54,441 Speaker 3: the shower. I used to like run downstairs with my 378 00:14:54,481 --> 00:14:56,761 Speaker 3: towel on like whatever, like what's going on, what's going on? 379 00:14:56,881 --> 00:14:59,081 Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, I'm getting there, like and 380 00:14:59,161 --> 00:15:01,201 Speaker 3: I would be like, babe. But when they're screaming, like 381 00:15:01,241 --> 00:15:03,721 Speaker 3: I used to fully get annoyed at for this. Now 382 00:15:03,801 --> 00:15:05,921 Speaker 3: I hear the screams and I'm like, this is mymi time. 383 00:15:06,481 --> 00:15:08,881 Speaker 3: He's under control, he's watching the kids like he's with 384 00:15:08,921 --> 00:15:11,761 Speaker 3: them alone all the time. He's got this. It's all good. 385 00:15:11,881 --> 00:15:14,161 Speaker 3: But I used to actually like physically run down it 386 00:15:14,201 --> 00:15:15,321 Speaker 3: because the kids worse because he. 387 00:15:15,241 --> 00:15:17,281 Speaker 1: Ever say, babe, I've got this, Like give me a moment. 388 00:15:17,721 --> 00:15:20,161 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Steve does that too. Now it's like learning 389 00:15:20,201 --> 00:15:22,161 Speaker 1: to just trust that they do have it. It's just 390 00:15:22,201 --> 00:15:23,121 Speaker 1: done differently to us. 391 00:15:23,201 --> 00:15:25,041 Speaker 3: That's it. And now I don't even show up then. 392 00:15:25,401 --> 00:15:27,961 Speaker 3: But initially, especially I feel like each kid has gotten 393 00:15:28,041 --> 00:15:31,241 Speaker 3: way more relax but especially with Miller, and I would 394 00:15:31,281 --> 00:15:34,721 Speaker 3: be like really triggered and frustrated if he wasn't by 395 00:15:34,721 --> 00:15:37,241 Speaker 3: a side in an instant, if she was like distraught. 396 00:15:37,321 --> 00:15:39,441 Speaker 1: It does get better each kid, you get way more relaxed. 397 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:39,681 Speaker 3: You do. 398 00:15:40,121 --> 00:15:43,041 Speaker 1: I was terrible at yeah, because I think you just 399 00:15:43,241 --> 00:15:45,041 Speaker 1: you don't even have that much confidence, like you're trying 400 00:15:45,041 --> 00:15:46,401 Speaker 1: to do the best job you can. You feel like 401 00:15:46,401 --> 00:15:48,081 Speaker 1: you have to jump since they make a noise. He's 402 00:15:48,641 --> 00:15:51,321 Speaker 1: and it's like, he says, I jump a lot quicker, 403 00:15:51,601 --> 00:15:53,481 Speaker 1: but he's like, if I can see, they're okay. And 404 00:15:53,481 --> 00:15:55,081 Speaker 1: sometimes I think it's good for them to like sort 405 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,601 Speaker 1: it out themselves or way, rather than you're going to 406 00:15:57,601 --> 00:16:00,241 Speaker 1: fix it straight away. It's like let them, you know, 407 00:16:00,521 --> 00:16:02,681 Speaker 1: deal with it. It's like I'm observing, I'm making sure 408 00:16:02,721 --> 00:16:04,161 Speaker 1: that they're safe, but I don't jump to them like 409 00:16:04,201 --> 00:16:04,921 Speaker 1: you do. Yeah. 410 00:16:05,081 --> 00:16:08,721 Speaker 3: And I feel like Kurt's also really good at understanding 411 00:16:08,761 --> 00:16:11,601 Speaker 3: their cries these days, like better than I am. I 412 00:16:11,601 --> 00:16:13,241 Speaker 3: feel like, as soon as I hear a cry, I'm 413 00:16:13,281 --> 00:16:15,681 Speaker 3: just like there. But I feel like before he jumps 414 00:16:15,721 --> 00:16:17,921 Speaker 3: and runs, he's like, what type of cry is that? 415 00:16:18,001 --> 00:16:22,041 Speaker 3: Like he's still, he pauses, listens, waits, and then he 416 00:16:22,241 --> 00:16:24,401 Speaker 3: goes all right or they don't need me, they're fine. 417 00:16:24,481 --> 00:16:26,801 Speaker 3: Whereas I'm like, as soon as I hear a little bit, I'm. 418 00:16:26,641 --> 00:16:29,881 Speaker 1: Like there, yeah. 419 00:16:29,081 --> 00:16:30,561 Speaker 3: Yeah, So I feel like he's got really good. 420 00:16:30,601 --> 00:16:33,081 Speaker 1: You can hear. If it's an emergency, you. 421 00:16:33,041 --> 00:16:34,121 Speaker 3: Can tell by the time you get down them on 422 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:35,441 Speaker 3: the stairs full. 423 00:16:35,281 --> 00:16:40,121 Speaker 1: Cry, or if it'thing like that, like the crocodile, Yeah, 424 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:46,001 Speaker 1: oh my gosh. Screen time Steve is a lot more 425 00:16:46,041 --> 00:16:48,521 Speaker 1: relaxed than what I am. I don't give my kids 426 00:16:48,521 --> 00:16:51,081 Speaker 1: a lot of screen time. I have very firm boundaries 427 00:16:51,081 --> 00:16:54,121 Speaker 1: with Taj. Tyler does not have an iPad. If I 428 00:16:54,121 --> 00:16:56,961 Speaker 1: watch anything with her, it's like very little amount. If 429 00:16:57,001 --> 00:16:59,761 Speaker 1: I'm absolutely like cooked, or we're watching something as a 430 00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:02,121 Speaker 1: family together, like and we'll put like animals on the 431 00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:04,441 Speaker 1: TV and she's learning about the animals. But I'm very 432 00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,921 Speaker 1: strict on it whease if he gets home from work 433 00:17:06,961 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 1: before I do, or like if I'm away, there's definitely 434 00:17:09,521 --> 00:17:11,041 Speaker 1: a lot more screen time. And it used to really 435 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,001 Speaker 1: upset me, and I was like, oh, kids don't need 436 00:17:13,001 --> 00:17:15,161 Speaker 1: this much screen It's bad for the concentration levels, blah 437 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:18,441 Speaker 1: blah blah, which is all true. However, I'm like, choose 438 00:17:18,441 --> 00:17:20,281 Speaker 1: your battles, it's not worth it. If that's how he 439 00:17:20,321 --> 00:17:22,921 Speaker 1: wants a parent, and you're not doing anything wrong. Maybe 440 00:17:22,921 --> 00:17:25,120 Speaker 1: he's so stretched and tired from work, doesn't have the 441 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:27,561 Speaker 1: capacity to be entertaining them with out the trampoline for 442 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:31,041 Speaker 1: three hours. Let it go. Yeah, sometimes I'll still make 443 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 1: little comments, but I really tried to hold back from that. 444 00:17:33,681 --> 00:17:36,121 Speaker 1: Now yeah, yeah, it's just not worth it, not worth 445 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:36,521 Speaker 1: a battle. 446 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:41,201 Speaker 3: No oh wearing dress ups and kids wearing dress ups 447 00:17:41,201 --> 00:17:43,721 Speaker 3: everywhere we go. I feel like I went through a 448 00:17:43,721 --> 00:17:45,481 Speaker 3: phase where they were literally wearing dress ups all the time, 449 00:17:45,521 --> 00:17:47,441 Speaker 3: and I wanted them to wear their normal clothes as well, 450 00:17:47,561 --> 00:17:49,801 Speaker 3: or as well if their dress ups are like really 451 00:17:49,801 --> 00:17:52,521 Speaker 3: cold and it's cold outside. And now I'm like, you 452 00:17:52,561 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 3: know what, I watched this psychologist lady on Instagram and 453 00:17:55,761 --> 00:17:58,600 Speaker 3: she was like, let them be cold. Yeah, you say 454 00:17:58,600 --> 00:17:59,841 Speaker 3: to them they need to jumper, they say I don't 455 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,281 Speaker 3: need one. Go Okay, next time when you say it's 456 00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:03,921 Speaker 3: cold outside, do you want to jump up? They'll probably 457 00:18:03,921 --> 00:18:06,921 Speaker 3: say yeah, do you. So I've kind of, yeah, really 458 00:18:07,041 --> 00:18:09,521 Speaker 3: leaned into that as well of just being like just 459 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,680 Speaker 3: letting them kind of do their own thing. And the 460 00:18:12,761 --> 00:18:15,440 Speaker 3: dress ups make everyone's so happy. Whenever we go places, 461 00:18:15,441 --> 00:18:18,881 Speaker 3: people are just like, oh my gosh. But yeah, it's 462 00:18:18,921 --> 00:18:20,881 Speaker 3: a lot sometimes when we walk around like three of these. 463 00:18:20,761 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 1: Like dress my kids don't dress up a lot, but 464 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,041 Speaker 1: I've seen some that are like really puffy and that's 465 00:18:26,041 --> 00:18:27,401 Speaker 1: hard to put the seatbelts. 466 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:30,600 Speaker 3: G and like and about the dress, yes, that's exactly 467 00:18:30,681 --> 00:18:32,360 Speaker 3: what they do. So reading almost like the big beautiful 468 00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,080 Speaker 3: prince and she's like it's itchy, it's itchy, and I'm like, 469 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:36,880 Speaker 3: oh my gosh. But luckily now I just know I 470 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:40,521 Speaker 3: have spare clothes, yes, but prepare. I'm prepared, but not 471 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,361 Speaker 3: with a battle before we leave to change it. Even 472 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,281 Speaker 3: though I know that dress has gone itchy, I'm like, 473 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,801 Speaker 3: just let her do her thing, yeah, just like when 474 00:18:47,801 --> 00:18:48,521 Speaker 3: it pops up. 475 00:18:49,321 --> 00:18:52,481 Speaker 1: I think just with cleaning up things in general. And 476 00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:55,081 Speaker 1: I think we've got a good system now. But sometimes 477 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,640 Speaker 1: I used to get like quite irked if their kitchen 478 00:18:57,681 --> 00:18:59,561 Speaker 1: wasn't done before bed, and Steep be like, oh, I 479 00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:01,281 Speaker 1: just can't evolve it tonight, like just pt the kids 480 00:19:01,281 --> 00:19:03,001 Speaker 1: in bed, like I just want to relax, And then 481 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,200 Speaker 1: I would get annoyed because I want it done. But 482 00:19:05,241 --> 00:19:07,401 Speaker 1: sometimes like it's just not worth the battle, Like once again, 483 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,640 Speaker 1: if it's really important to me, I'll just get it done. 484 00:19:09,921 --> 00:19:11,441 Speaker 1: But I feel like we've got a good system now. 485 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:12,761 Speaker 1: When I wrote this, I feel like we've got a 486 00:19:12,761 --> 00:19:14,641 Speaker 1: good system now that I'll ow to take the kids 487 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,041 Speaker 1: for the bath and he'll do the kitchen, or if 488 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:18,721 Speaker 1: the kids aren't having a bath, we both attack it 489 00:19:18,801 --> 00:19:20,760 Speaker 1: together and it's done twice as fast. Yeah. So we've 490 00:19:20,801 --> 00:19:23,521 Speaker 1: got our systems at work. But sometimes, like I feel 491 00:19:23,521 --> 00:19:25,240 Speaker 1: like a lot of mums get really caught up in 492 00:19:25,281 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 1: the washing, the cleaning whatever at the end of the day, Like, 493 00:19:28,761 --> 00:19:31,001 Speaker 1: is it worth a battle if you are just so tired, 494 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:32,640 Speaker 1: or you wanting to connect with your partner, or you 495 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,080 Speaker 1: want to connect with your kids, Like what's more important? Yeah, Like, 496 00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:36,921 Speaker 1: it's probably more important if you just spend quality time 497 00:19:36,921 --> 00:19:38,961 Speaker 1: with your loved ones and making sure that lasts a 498 00:19:38,961 --> 00:19:42,081 Speaker 1: lot of dishes is done and the battle, Yeah, it's 499 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,160 Speaker 1: not going anywhere. For the time with your kids and 500 00:19:44,201 --> 00:19:46,880 Speaker 1: your husband, it's way more important. Yeah. So just like, 501 00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:48,880 Speaker 1: not worth a battle with your partner, not worth a 502 00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 1: battle with yourself. Yeah. Yeah. 503 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:55,161 Speaker 3: So this next one for us is we initially thought 504 00:19:55,201 --> 00:19:56,761 Speaker 3: that we would not let our kids wear shoes in 505 00:19:56,801 --> 00:19:59,921 Speaker 3: the house. Yeah, shoes every day, all day in the house. Yeah, 506 00:19:59,961 --> 00:20:01,640 Speaker 3: so we're just like not much. So both with Curt 507 00:20:01,681 --> 00:20:04,081 Speaker 3: and I surrendered to that one pretty quickly. We were like, yeah, 508 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,521 Speaker 3: when we first moved in, everyone had like shoes off. Yeah, 509 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:08,681 Speaker 3: it feels like a new house thing. Maybe yeah, no, 510 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,721 Speaker 3: just whatever, you are aware. Yeah, and even when people 511 00:20:12,761 --> 00:20:14,321 Speaker 3: come over, we're like, yeah, let keep your shoes on. 512 00:20:14,441 --> 00:20:17,081 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, some people are funny about that. If it's 513 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:19,241 Speaker 1: got nice carpets, it is a new house. They've just 514 00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:20,201 Speaker 1: vacuum dispose. 515 00:20:20,481 --> 00:20:22,041 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's not about all we choose. 516 00:20:22,201 --> 00:20:23,641 Speaker 1: I take my shoes off when I go to other 517 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:28,640 Speaker 1: me too, but not my own me too. Whatever. And 518 00:20:28,681 --> 00:20:31,640 Speaker 1: the last one is once again Steve and kids. A 519 00:20:31,681 --> 00:20:34,041 Speaker 1: lot of this is about parenting for me. But whenever 520 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,601 Speaker 1: I go away, Steve will definitely have like a takeaway night, 521 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,321 Speaker 1: Whereas when I'm at home, I do most of the 522 00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:41,321 Speaker 1: cooking now and I love nourishing my family and making 523 00:20:41,321 --> 00:20:43,401 Speaker 1: sure they're getting all the nutrients they need. We don't 524 00:20:43,481 --> 00:20:45,761 Speaker 1: order to take away a lot when I'm there, but 525 00:20:45,801 --> 00:20:48,480 Speaker 1: when I go away, he definitely does. Like last night, 526 00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:49,400 Speaker 1: they would have pizza night. 527 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:50,881 Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it. 528 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,561 Speaker 1: It's so cute. It massive. 529 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,801 Speaker 3: It does the same. Whenever we can't here, they always 530 00:20:54,801 --> 00:20:55,321 Speaker 3: get take away. 531 00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:57,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just like Tuti battles. 532 00:20:57,801 --> 00:20:59,961 Speaker 3: Yeah, convenient for them. 533 00:20:59,721 --> 00:21:01,960 Speaker 1: It's fine. Like growing up too, it's like, oh, I remember, 534 00:21:02,001 --> 00:21:03,680 Speaker 1: like the dad we always got pizza. 535 00:21:03,521 --> 00:21:05,721 Speaker 3: And they know it's routine. They like our co kids 536 00:21:05,761 --> 00:21:07,441 Speaker 3: know now they're like my mom's nottrius and that means 537 00:21:07,481 --> 00:21:09,521 Speaker 3: that way gonna yeah like a cheeky night. 538 00:21:09,721 --> 00:21:11,400 Speaker 1: That's the nice time with their dad. It is. It 539 00:21:11,481 --> 00:21:14,681 Speaker 1: is like they could be really bonding around food. Yeah, beautiful, 540 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,880 Speaker 1: So I've just let that go. That's I used to 541 00:21:16,921 --> 00:21:19,041 Speaker 1: be like, babe, like you know, they don't need another pizza. 542 00:21:19,561 --> 00:21:22,521 Speaker 1: They need nutrients. Yeah, even at home, Like if I 543 00:21:22,561 --> 00:21:28,160 Speaker 1: was to order pizza Fotage and I'm there, I would entrees, vegetables. 544 00:21:28,241 --> 00:21:30,681 Speaker 1: It would all have vegetables before we get the pizza. Yeah, 545 00:21:30,761 --> 00:21:32,321 Speaker 1: so like I know they're getting the nutrients because I 546 00:21:32,321 --> 00:21:33,521 Speaker 1: don't want to get sick. I want them to be 547 00:21:33,561 --> 00:21:35,840 Speaker 1: healthy and like it is important to me. They still 548 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,481 Speaker 1: get to enjoy the pizza as well. That was my 549 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,201 Speaker 1: rule with pregnancy. If I was craving something, my rule 550 00:21:40,321 --> 00:21:42,481 Speaker 1: was like I would have something healthy first and nutrient rich, 551 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,761 Speaker 1: then I would have what I wanted. Yeah. So I 552 00:21:44,801 --> 00:21:47,241 Speaker 1: always made sure that myself, my baby, and my health 553 00:21:47,281 --> 00:21:48,680 Speaker 1: was looked after because I wanted my baby to get 554 00:21:48,681 --> 00:21:50,801 Speaker 1: all the nutrients that they needed as well, but I 555 00:21:50,801 --> 00:21:53,360 Speaker 1: still wasn't depriving myself of what I wanted. If I 556 00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:55,160 Speaker 1: just ate shit, the whole pregnancy are like, and I 557 00:21:55,201 --> 00:21:56,801 Speaker 1: would just feel shit that I've given my baby of 558 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,521 Speaker 1: that crap, and my body wouldn't be thriving. It's always 559 00:21:59,521 --> 00:22:01,521 Speaker 1: made sure I had something healthy, whether it's a green juice, 560 00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:04,120 Speaker 1: a green smoothie, a bowl of steamed broccoli, like, just 561 00:22:04,201 --> 00:22:07,001 Speaker 1: something health related. Then I would go have my hot chips, 562 00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:08,641 Speaker 1: then I would have my block chocolate. 563 00:22:08,921 --> 00:22:09,201 Speaker 3: Yeah. 564 00:22:09,241 --> 00:22:10,200 Speaker 1: I just felt better doing that. 565 00:22:10,441 --> 00:22:13,041 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you do feel crappy as well. 566 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,321 Speaker 3: You already feel cppy when you're pregnant. 567 00:22:14,321 --> 00:22:16,920 Speaker 1: I already feel crappy. Yeah yeah, and your baby needs 568 00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:19,680 Speaker 1: so much to thrive. Yeah, it's nutrients. 569 00:22:20,001 --> 00:22:24,961 Speaker 3: So my last one is Reagan not napping. I see though, Babe, 570 00:22:24,961 --> 00:22:26,241 Speaker 3: she's dropped it out for like over a year. 571 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:27,841 Speaker 1: Yeah, so she was like. 572 00:22:27,801 --> 00:22:30,521 Speaker 3: One and a half when she stopped napping. Two. She 573 00:22:30,681 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 3: was young, so every kid had slowly gotten earlier and earlier. 574 00:22:35,041 --> 00:22:38,921 Speaker 3: So Miller literally napped until she started school. So Yeahlinky 575 00:22:39,001 --> 00:22:43,321 Speaker 3: stopped napping I think around four. Reagan I can't even 576 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:47,600 Speaker 3: remember her. It's been years since she has not napped. 577 00:22:48,001 --> 00:22:51,041 Speaker 1: And she's happy, happy. 578 00:22:50,921 --> 00:22:53,561 Speaker 3: She's happy, she's fine. I think she still had them 579 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,880 Speaker 3: odd occasion, yeah, okay, but she wasn't regular. Yeah, she 580 00:22:57,001 --> 00:23:00,001 Speaker 3: was has not regularly napped for a very, very long time. 581 00:23:00,041 --> 00:23:01,241 Speaker 3: And that's just to choose your battle. 582 00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:04,400 Speaker 1: She's fine, easier though with other two kids, if like 583 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,441 Speaker 1: they're all and you can be out in the middle 584 00:23:06,441 --> 00:23:06,801 Speaker 1: of the day. 585 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:08,880 Speaker 3: Not Monday to Friday when she's at home and you're 586 00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:11,401 Speaker 3: trying to work. But yes, on the weekend, it's great. 587 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,481 Speaker 3: On the weekend, it's really good. But yeah, that's just 588 00:23:14,481 --> 00:23:17,121 Speaker 3: been a battle with her. She's just definitely got more 589 00:23:17,321 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 3: energy and even during the night, like she can stay 590 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:22,080 Speaker 3: up super late rigs like the other two we'll just 591 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,801 Speaker 3: put themselves to bed and be like I've had enough, 592 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,440 Speaker 3: I'm going to sleep. Like, Yeah, she just likes to 593 00:23:26,441 --> 00:23:28,680 Speaker 3: be in the party and amongst it with everyone else, 594 00:23:28,761 --> 00:23:29,961 Speaker 3: and yeah. 595 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,121 Speaker 1: Just don't need it as much. 596 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,561 Speaker 3: Maybe I just remember though, like their first days when 597 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,241 Speaker 3: she first started dropping it, just trying to force it, 598 00:23:36,441 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 3: sitting in there, patting her back, shushing her. Try this, 599 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,080 Speaker 3: try again in an hour. If she's not napping, I'll 600 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:42,761 Speaker 3: just I'll give her another bottle and I'll go seit 601 00:23:42,761 --> 00:23:44,641 Speaker 3: with her and try again. You revolve your whole day 602 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:47,481 Speaker 3: around this nap, And I feel like it just took 603 00:23:47,681 --> 00:23:50,921 Speaker 3: so much pressure off because it was just like, okay, yeah, 604 00:23:50,961 --> 00:23:53,001 Speaker 3: whatever happens, it happens, as long as it's happy. 605 00:23:53,041 --> 00:23:55,001 Speaker 1: I feel like I would push through for that too. 606 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,241 Speaker 1: If they were going to be upset in the evening. Yeah, 607 00:23:57,241 --> 00:23:59,880 Speaker 1: when they get overtired, yeah, that's why I would be 608 00:24:00,001 --> 00:24:02,721 Speaker 1: trying to push the nap. But if they're happy, then yeah, 609 00:24:02,721 --> 00:24:03,281 Speaker 1: she'll sweat. 610 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,080 Speaker 3: She's fine, like happy, and that's so good. 611 00:24:06,801 --> 00:24:08,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, most kids will get really overtired. That's awesome. 612 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I don't know only one that got really overtired. 613 00:24:12,681 --> 00:24:15,681 Speaker 3: She's always needed like that little bit more sleep. Still 614 00:24:15,721 --> 00:24:17,961 Speaker 3: to this day, she loves her sleep. But I feel 615 00:24:18,001 --> 00:24:20,241 Speaker 3: like both Lincoln he was fine as well. It never 616 00:24:20,281 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 3: really affected his mood too much. 617 00:24:21,921 --> 00:24:26,201 Speaker 1: That's awesome. Your tag gets overtired. Yeah, I haven't tried 618 00:24:26,241 --> 00:24:28,601 Speaker 1: her not napping yet. She still has a day now. 619 00:24:28,921 --> 00:24:29,440 Speaker 1: She's too. 620 00:24:30,561 --> 00:24:31,881 Speaker 3: Milk it for as long as you. 621 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,840 Speaker 1: Get Yeah, that's a mind done. 622 00:24:34,041 --> 00:24:34,561 Speaker 3: Yeah me too. 623 00:24:34,681 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 1: Well, I hope you guys had a good little gig, 624 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,001 Speaker 1: good little laugh. Sure someone relatable. 625 00:24:38,041 --> 00:24:39,521 Speaker 3: I'm sure some of you guys can relate to. I'm like, 626 00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:40,920 Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I used to not like that too, 627 00:24:40,961 --> 00:24:42,281 Speaker 3: and now I'm like, whatever. 628 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,801 Speaker 1: It's funny as you grow too. The things she used 629 00:24:44,801 --> 00:24:45,640 Speaker 1: to get soa caled up and. 630 00:24:45,681 --> 00:24:48,241 Speaker 3: It's like, and it's just how you grew up. A 631 00:24:48,281 --> 00:24:50,440 Speaker 3: lot of these things are like because I was told 632 00:24:50,441 --> 00:24:52,481 Speaker 3: growing up that it should be done a specific way. 633 00:24:52,561 --> 00:24:54,041 Speaker 3: I felt like it should have been and then I 634 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:54,880 Speaker 3: look at it and I'm like. 635 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,400 Speaker 1: Does that actually matters? So true, You've always done things. 636 00:24:58,441 --> 00:25:00,601 Speaker 1: It's just what you're used to. Something is uncomfortable doing 637 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,960 Speaker 1: something different, or someone's put a strong opinion. It's like, 638 00:25:04,001 --> 00:25:07,200 Speaker 1: actually it doesn't bother me. Okay, that bothers you, but 639 00:25:07,281 --> 00:25:09,160 Speaker 1: to me, they're not with the battle, not only you 640 00:25:09,321 --> 00:25:13,440 Speaker 1: choose your battle. We'll see you on Friday for a 641 00:25:13,481 --> 00:25:16,561 Speaker 1: little bite sized episode. Yeah, see that, guys. We'll see 642 00:25:16,561 --> 00:25:18,001 Speaker 1: you next week too. Bye bye,