WEBVTT - 2024: Leave it at The Door, 2025: Let's Thrive 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.960 Welcome to first things First, I'm Brook Blenn. My pronouns 0:00:02.960 --> 0:00:03.240 are she. 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:07.000 I'm Maddie Mills. My pronouns are he him. 0:00:07.920 --> 0:00:10.680 Before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge the custodians 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:13.360 of the land on which we record for both of us. 0:00:13.400 --> 0:00:16.640 It's the Gatigol people of the Aeri nation. Let's get 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:20.639 into it, Maddie, let's do it well. This has been 0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:22.840 a big year for both of us. 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:24.040 Cracker of a year. 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:29.639 Has its ups, it's down, it's roundabouts, donuts, wagon wheels, 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:33.600 wagon wheels. It's had its moments far out. Yeah, we 0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:34.199 really have. 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:37.360 It's been a big year, but it's flown by. Honestly, 0:00:37.600 --> 0:00:40.760 it has gone so quick. We are at the tail end. 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:41.120 Of the year. 0:00:41.560 --> 0:00:43.920 I feel like there's a lot to reflect on. We've 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:47.319 achieved so much, you know, we've ticked off a lot 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:50.480 of things this year, and I feel like this is 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:52.519 like the last year of our twenties. 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:57.520 WTF, WTF rest in peace, twenties. 0:00:58.080 --> 0:01:00.360 That's scary, scary, scary, s Gary. 0:01:00.640 --> 0:01:05.199 I'm excited, I'm scared, but also like, fuck, twenties was hard. 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:10.240 Twenties were hard. Yeah, I'm ready to say I'm in 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:12.480 my thirties. Now, all right, well I'm ready. 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:13.680 Let me ask you a question. 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:16.160 I feel like I've got this song playing in my 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:19.399 head though. It's like, you know, the graduation song, and 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:19.840 it's like. 0:01:20.840 --> 0:01:23.240 Scared and married. Baby. 0:01:23.360 --> 0:01:26.080 Listen, he always has to ruin my moments. He really 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:27.600 has to outshine me every day. 0:01:28.120 --> 0:01:29.040 Twenty twenty four. 0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:36.320 No, you know that it's closing time? You know that one? Yeah, yeah, 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:39.280 that's what I feel like. That's what I'm I'm singing 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:42.920 on the way out of twenty twenty four. 0:01:42.920 --> 0:01:43.759 It's closing time. 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:46.920 Yeah, what are we leaving behind? Let's go, oh, what. 0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:51.600 Are we leaving behind? I think we're leaving behind. I'm 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:53.280 trying to think what am I leaving behind? What do 0:01:53.360 --> 0:01:53.680 I do not? 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:58.720 What do I I'm leaving behind all the shitty dates. 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:05.200 I'm leaving the energy to even fuck with that anymore, 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:08.400 like fuck that? Ye No, I'm leaving that in twenty 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:14.000 twenty four, Okay, I'm leaving all of my bachelorette days 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:18.800 are gone. Done that time? She done? 0:02:19.080 --> 0:02:19.560 She done? 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:23.440 Yeah? Why because I'm a new person three years and 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:26.240 I have become a better person than I was in 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:28.680 that show. Okay, And I feel like, yes, that gave 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:31.840 me a great platform. Yes, it was amazing. Loved my experience. 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:33.400 I feel like it's done. 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:37.200 It's done. Yeah, you're not the Bachelorette anymore. No, so 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:38.320 what did that look like for you? 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:43.000 I'm in my acting error, I'm in my art's creative error, 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:48.040 i am in my business error. Okay, I'm definitely not 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:51.959 in a love relationship. I think I've like accepted that 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:56.960 I'll have like flings and things and people that I'll 0:02:56.960 --> 0:02:57.760 connect with. 0:02:57.760 --> 0:02:59.200 No strings attached. 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:01.480 And no strings. I think I'm really okay with that. 0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:05.400 Flings, things but no strings love that. Okay. 0:03:05.400 --> 0:03:07.840 Oh yeah, we're leaving one hundred percent behind. 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:10.880 Okay literally literally. 0:03:10.680 --> 0:03:13.280 We're not literally they're not using literally anymore. 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:15.600 Now, who says literally? All right? 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:20.079 Hey everyone uses it influences, Like guys, look at this thing. 0:03:20.360 --> 0:03:23.639 It literally is the best. I'm like, okay, we're leaving 0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:24.120 her behind. 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:28.080 Yeah, I think twenty twenty four for me is Oh. 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:32.600 There are so many parts of like this year that 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:36.000 have been like hurdles for me. I feel but like 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:39.080 I actually like have jumped them, you know what I mean. 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:41.480 Like there's been barriers and there's been struggles, but I've 0:03:41.480 --> 0:03:43.160 got through a lot of stuff this year. I think 0:03:43.160 --> 0:03:45.960 I did a lot of like personal development this year. Same, 0:03:47.760 --> 0:03:51.520 and I feel like twenty twenty five is the year 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:52.120 to thrive. 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:55.840 I agree. I feel like twenty twenty four for me 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:57.480 was like I was in the trenches. 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:01.960 Twenty twenty four the door five, Let's thrive. 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:04.040 Okay, wrap god? 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:06.160 Yeah, yeah, give me a beat. 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:07.760 You're hilarious. 0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:09.520 Yeah. So I feel like. 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:12.600 Who else feels like? I wonder if like our listeners 0:04:12.640 --> 0:04:14.520 feel like that as well, Like, do you guys feel 0:04:14.560 --> 0:04:18.080 like that twenty twenty four was really about moving the mud? 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:19.839 Or was it your best year? Yeah? Because I feel 0:04:19.880 --> 0:04:23.240 like I felt that I started it off being like, 0:04:23.320 --> 0:04:25.040 this is going to be the best year of my life, 0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:27.800 and it has been in so many different ways in 0:04:27.920 --> 0:04:30.960 terms of the personal growth, the work that I've done, 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:35.839 the therapy, the relationships that I've established, but also the 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:40.600 relationships that didn't establish but also taught me so much. 0:04:40.680 --> 0:04:42.960 And I think like I generally thought at the start 0:04:43.000 --> 0:04:44.200 of the year that it was going to be a 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:46.880 thriving error, not in the ways that I thought. 0:04:47.080 --> 0:04:49.960 I feel like you had like the soft girl error vibes. 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:54.839 Yeah, is that all? Yeah? Okay, this is crazy because 0:04:54.839 --> 0:04:58.479 obviously I stepped back and I was in my acting 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:02.760 like I was doing actings all this year, and to 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:05.400 do acting, you actually have to know yourself really well. 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:07.760 And I think that's why I describe it sort of 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:10.440 being in the trenches, because I feel like I had 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:12.320 to pull back a lot of the stuff that I 0:05:12.400 --> 0:05:14.359 was doing because I was just doing it. I was 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:16.719 like a hamster will And I don't know if you 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:19.760 feel like this as well, like you just do things 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:23.520 because it's a part of your job whatever, and acting 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:25.640 kind of really pulled me out of that, and then 0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:29.279 I had to like reprioritize and that was also scary, 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:31.760 but also okay, Like I felt like I was making 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:34.600 the right decision and this was gonna, what I describe 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:38.120 it as, was going to traject me forward, so I 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:40.920 needed to pull back to go forward. And I kind 0:05:40.960 --> 0:05:42.800 of feel like it's like a bowl and arrow kind 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:46.040 of like analogy, where I was pulling back, pulling back, 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:49.640 pulling back all this shit. I realize now what I'm 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:52.680 actually capable of and what I really truly want to 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:55.560 do and what I want to focus on and where 0:05:55.560 --> 0:05:57.480 I want to put my energy, And I think now 0:05:57.600 --> 0:05:59.920 I'm like literally trajectoring forward into that. 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:01.400 I'm so okay with that. 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:04.600 Yeah, catapulting literally, Yeah, No, I you're kidding. I was 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:11.720 doing literally. I'm just going to say literally this whole episode. 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:13.279 So then I get it out of my system. So 0:06:13.320 --> 0:06:15.440 in twenty twenty five, it's gone. 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:19.480 I feel like twenty twenty five for me is so 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:22.159 I had a really good meeting with my new team, 0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:26.000 and I'm really excited about the goals that we have 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:30.080 for my career. And my career is honestly like my 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:32.800 first love. It is something that I love. I'm so 0:06:32.880 --> 0:06:34.560 grateful that I get to do what I do, Like 0:06:34.640 --> 0:06:39.599 I really feel that I've created this world in which 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:43.400 I'm really happy because of my career. And I feel 0:06:43.480 --> 0:06:45.560 like the goals that we've created as a team, like 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:48.920 we've done one, three and five year goals, and I 0:06:48.960 --> 0:06:52.800 feel really empowered by putting them out there. Like I've 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:56.320 never really had like a strategy meeting before about my career, 0:06:56.800 --> 0:06:59.240 and I feel like we only did that recently, and 0:06:59.279 --> 0:07:03.359 it's been such an inspiring thing for me to start 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:06.320 the next year because there's like tangible things that I 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:08.799 want to tick off, you know, and there are big goals. 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:13.600 And my thing for twenty twenty five is you've probably 0:07:13.640 --> 0:07:16.200 heard this many times. You can't be what you can't see. 0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:18.720 My thing is you can be what you can't see. 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:22.600 Be the first doing things for the creating change and 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:23.400 being the first. 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:26.840 Yeah yeah, which we have been the first to do 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:31.240 many things, and we've achieved so much through that. And 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:34.120 I think you have been like an icon. 0:07:34.520 --> 0:07:38.600 You've been an icon. She is the moment. 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:42.680 Why do you love? I was being sentimental and then 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:45.200 you just someone, well, really do you love the spotlight? 0:07:45.200 --> 0:07:45.800 But you hate it? 0:07:45.840 --> 0:07:48.840 Also, I hate when people say things that I feel like, 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:51.560 I don't hate it, but sometimes people. 0:07:51.560 --> 0:07:55.040 Over exaggerate, so you don't believe. 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:58.480 The day when I was at the Arias, somebody goes, 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:02.120 this is gay icon Mattie Mills and and I cringed. 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:06.520 I was like, but you are no, no, no, I'm 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:07.200 not an icon. 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:08.160 What is an icon? 0:08:08.360 --> 0:08:12.320 An icon is Beyonce Michael Taylor Swift. 0:08:12.800 --> 0:08:17.680 But I think icon is like it's contextual, like it depends, 0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:20.560 like I would say, I'm an icon in so many ways, 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:24.360 and I'm happy to say that, Well, yeah. 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:28.320 So you should. Well, I think I think are a 0:08:28.320 --> 0:08:29.040 bit of an icon. 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:32.120 Yeah, but you've got like a very negative view on icon. 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:35.079 I think, like for myself, yes, I don't. I don't 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:37.440 say no. I really don't believe that I'm an icon 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:41.040 and I don't know you need to No, I don't 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:43.920 think it's like I'm not worthy of that title yet. 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:46.720 Really, yeah, I think you are. 0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:49.960 I think it's given too easily these days, you know, 0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:52.520 people icons because. 0:08:52.200 --> 0:08:55.800 I think there's a bigger word for like, like say, 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:56.480 like Beyonce. 0:08:56.800 --> 0:09:02.040 I feel like, isn't an icon? Is Beyonce? Icon is 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:05.479 Michael Jackson? If someone calls me an icon, I'm cringing. 0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:11.760 Why I haven't done iconic shit yet. I haven't eat 0:09:11.800 --> 0:09:13.880 the iconic status, Like. 0:09:14.120 --> 0:09:16.560 I feel like you are doing iconic shit like I 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:19.880 feel like no, but just in different ways. I think 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:21.720 you're icon. 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:23.640 If I'm an icon, I'm a teen icon? 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:26.120 Yeah, fucking I would own that. 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:28.200 No, But I don't know. I think I just I 0:09:28.200 --> 0:09:30.360 don't know, you know when you sort of don't see 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:32.960 for yourself. But somebody you know who said it, Queen 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:35.760 con she was like gay icon Maddie Mials. 0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:39.560 I can own it though. When Maddy walks into a room, 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:43.000 like it's so crazy like everyone is just gravitated towards him, 0:09:43.600 --> 0:09:45.880 and he seems to think that he doesn't have that 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:50.400 energy or like bring that kind of like icon moment 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:54.200 or like status that that fucking pisses me off. 0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:55.280 I'm getting out of this. 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:59.559 No, because I think you are. I think you need 0:09:59.559 --> 0:09:59.960 to believe. 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:03.439 Thank you so outs and ins. 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:05.840 Well out is self deprecating. 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:06.679 Self deprecation. 0:10:06.840 --> 0:10:11.040 Yes, in is sometimes living in the delusional, because I 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:14.120 think living in the delusional is actually you know, there's 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:18.280 this thing, right, it's like honor thy error because there's 0:10:18.320 --> 0:10:22.400 like hidden you'll find the hidden gem or intention, okay, 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:25.280 And it's like this saying like bybe like Brian Eno, 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:26.439 I don't know if you know who the guys I 0:10:26.440 --> 0:10:28.680 went and watched like a document him, but like he 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:32.120 says that, it's because when we fear like rejection or 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:35.600 when we make an error, we're quick to like move on, right, 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:37.960 We're like, oh I can't deal with that, like okay, 0:10:38.120 --> 0:10:41.120 fucked up whatever, move on. But if we actually honor it, 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:44.199 there's so much other stuff that's in that as well, 0:10:44.240 --> 0:10:46.560 Like you're like, oh yeah, okay, I fucked up, and 0:10:46.600 --> 0:10:49.240 then you'll think about like, oh, what led me to that. 0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:51.840 Why did I do that? Was that just like an 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:54.880 irrational thing or was it like a like I just 0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:57.400 rushed it and then you learn that Okay, oh I 0:10:57.520 --> 0:11:00.080 rushed it. Okay, Well next time, I actually won't rush it, 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:02.960 you know. And if you don't honor that and don't 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:05.640 like get curious with that, I feel like for me, 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:11.720 an inn is curiosity because curiosity leads without judgment, and 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:14.640 you don't have judgment. And I think I have had 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:18.080 some sort of like closed off energy where I've had 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:21.240 my people, my circle, my things where I'm like, no, 0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:23.480 this makes me happy and I'm protected and I'm safe 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:27.199 here because I didn't have that elsewhere. So I created 0:11:27.240 --> 0:11:29.040 that and then it closed me off to so many 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:31.480 other things. So I feel like this year, I'm like, 0:11:31.920 --> 0:11:34.640 oh god, I feel like this is so cool. Like 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:37.040 when you think of the word icon, this is the 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:40.160 saying that I absolutely get so cringe worthy. And I like, 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:41.760 go with the flow? 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:44.480 Why I hate it? 0:11:44.640 --> 0:11:46.000 Do you hate it? 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:46.680 Why? 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:50.360 Because I'm not a go with the flow fucking person? Right? 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:55.040 Never been like what I know? 0:11:55.200 --> 0:11:56.320 I feel like you would be. 0:11:57.000 --> 0:12:01.960 I am now okay, Like I have been learning and 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:04.760 taking baby steps to go with the flow. 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:06.480 What's go with the flow mean to you? 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:10.000 Well, it means different things. For me. It means uncertainty, 0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:13.359 it means like just rolling with it. It means unsafe, 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:16.040 and all of these things like that come with that. 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:20.040 Saying was like really making me feel uncomfortable about going 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:23.360 with the flow, like in terms of relationships, in terms 0:12:23.360 --> 0:12:28.080 of like events, like going with events and stuff like that, 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:31.000 or with work. I just don't go with the flow. 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:35.720 I have a structured mindset yep, and leaving it too 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:38.280 open is just like not my vibe. 0:12:38.320 --> 0:12:40.320 Wow. I would see if someone said to me what 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:43.160 you describe Brook and I would probably say, she goes 0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:43.600 with the flow. 0:12:43.760 --> 0:12:46.480 No, I do what I'm told, like, but that's not 0:12:46.480 --> 0:12:48.880 going with them, but has intentions of like what the 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:53.240 things that I feel like I would pick and choose, Like, yeah, 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:55.080 we can go with the flow, but there's always going 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:57.120 to be for me like some sort of like intention 0:12:57.280 --> 0:12:59.160 like I'll do this to a certain period of time. 0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:01.720 But then how people see you and how you feel. 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:05.319 I hate go with the flow, but I'm like I'm 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:08.440 really there you go. Well, I'm like learning, so like 0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:11.600 that's an infa me in for twenty twenty five is 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:14.400 like actually like physically going with the flow and not 0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:19.600 having any intentions, expectations and just like like and I've 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:22.880 just met the most amazing people already, and I'm like, oh, yeah, 0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:26.120 I did not expect this to go like this, and 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:29.160 I'm kind of like surprised, and it's a surprise every 0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:31.920 time for me. It's not always going to be good. 0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:34.040 I know that it's not going to be like always 0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:36.960 a light at the end of the fucking rainbow, pot 0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:39.080 of gold or what you call a. 0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:40.880 Light at the end of the rainbow. I don't think 0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:42.080 that's saying a light. 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:45.080 At the end of the tunnel. I always funny delusional sayings. 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:50.560 Are you always like mix them up? Tunnel? 0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:53.720 Yeah, it's about light at the end of the tunnel, 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:56.040 pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. 0:13:56.400 --> 0:14:01.040 Yeah that right. Sure. What's in the in and out 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:09.040 in for me is continue self development, self improvement, self care, 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:10.520 being a little bit. 0:14:10.440 --> 0:14:16.080 Selfish, actually selfless or selfish because there's like I think 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:20.840 sometimes we are guilty about being selfish because like we're like. 0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:24.400 I think I put way too many people before myself 0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:28.640 and I feel like in my life, like I always 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:32.400 think about how I can like support people or like 0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:36.480 even in my own relationship, like I just put myself 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:38.560 out there a lot to like to be loving, you 0:14:38.640 --> 0:14:40.760 know what I mean, and to be really caring when 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:43.440 I'm like, I don't think I need to try as hard. 0:14:43.760 --> 0:14:45.800 I think, you know, I need to like take a 0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:50.320 step back from like always wanting to show I don't know, 0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:53.160 show up in that way. I don't know. Yeah, part 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:55.640 of me the ones like self preservation maybe. 0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:57.720 I think, yeah, that's a that's a great word. I 0:14:57.760 --> 0:15:00.600 think that's because I don't think you're selfish. 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:02.080 I think you I want to be. 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:05.520 Yeah, And I think that's but that's self preservation to 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:08.480 protect yourself but also take care of yourself so you 0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:11.160 can take care of the people that will take care 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:12.480 of you, don't you reckon? 0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:14.800 Yeah yeah, I think yeah. 0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:20.040 Making more like choices for self. 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:23.600 Yes, yeah, yeah yeah, And I think that's selfish and 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:27.840 I think out for me is one thing that I'm 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:31.640 really like trying to work on is when I do 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:33.920 things like when I put my attention to something or 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:37.680 give my attention to something, is it like good for 0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:39.160 me or not? You know what I mean. I don't 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:41.160 want to just take on things for the sake of it, 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:44.000 Like because I feel like we allow things into our 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:46.600 world and into our lives. Like it can be people, 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:49.480 it can be jobs, it can be gigs that sometimes 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:50.840 actually don't give you anything. 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:53.720 I agree that's an out for me. 0:15:53.840 --> 0:15:58.640 An art, things that aren't going to serve me, like positively, 0:15:58.840 --> 0:15:59.480 they need to go. 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:03.120 I agree. I think I did a lot of things 0:16:03.240 --> 0:16:06.200 that were to make a lot of people happy and yeah, 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:10.440 you know, showing up. But when I would go home, 0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:13.560 I was like, that gave me zero energy. I was 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:15.680 probably more burnt out, and I just don't think I 0:16:15.720 --> 0:16:16.960 want that in my life. 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:19.360 There's a big change for both of us. It's about growth. 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:22.520 I know we're award winning podcast. 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:24.320 We're an award winning podcast. 0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:26.160 And I hope you know, next year we are the same. 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:28.080 That's our goal totally. 0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:30.120 I feel I know that we haven't spoken about that, 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:34.520 but I feel like we've got some really exciting things. 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:37.480 Well let's look into the future, and I think it's 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:39.080 about time we did a horoscope. 0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:41.280 You never want it. You don't even know what a 0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:42.400 triple capricorn is. 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:46.440 Yes, I do it. It's looking at me right now. Okay, 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:52.240 So my twenty twenty five horoscope for Gemini Comfort Zone. 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:57.120 What's that? Lucky? Expansive Jupiter continues It's twelve month journey 0:16:57.120 --> 0:17:01.840 through your sign, energizing your trailblazing self Sovereign first House 0:17:01.960 --> 0:17:05.920 until June ninth. If it's novel, daring and out of 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:08.399 the box, it's for you. In twenty twenty five, twin 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:12.199 and the hits keep on coming from July seven to 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:16.640 November seven, renegade change maker Uranus swings into Gemini. Yeah 0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:19.480 it does. It's first visit to your sign since nineteen 0:17:19.600 --> 0:17:22.159 forty one to forty nine. Okay, honestly, that means fucking 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:25.760 nothing to me. This horoscope means nothing to me. 0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:28.280 It means a lot to me, like read tell me. 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:32.200 Well, okay, so energizing your trailblazing? What did I say? 0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:34.960 If you can't be it, you can't see it, that's gone. 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:38.119 If you don't even if you can't see it, you 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:40.280 can still be it. That's trailblazing. 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:43.679 Actually, I think, And that was the one word that 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:45.720 came up to me at the start. Yeah, instead of 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:49.720 icon is that I would trailblazer. Thank you. 0:17:50.280 --> 0:17:54.200 I connect with that word. I do. What self sovereign 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:55.280 first House mean? 0:17:56.200 --> 0:18:02.240 You have twelve houses and where your sign so in 0:18:02.280 --> 0:18:07.000 your placement, and so when you do your try style 0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:08.400 your chart, ye, don't you. 0:18:08.480 --> 0:18:11.800 Or me self sovereign? Oh? Here we go, Rachels come 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:14.919 to the rescue. The ability to manage and operate one's 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:18.280 own knowledge, especially when making decisions. Ooh, I love that. 0:18:18.520 --> 0:18:21.159 And that's pretty much what you were saying about making 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:24.639 your own decisions. And I think maybe we you know, 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:28.000 icon the word you hate, maybe we. 0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:31.080 Use trailblazer, trailblazer I connect with. Honestly, I feel really 0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:34.280 connected to that word. Yeah, yeah, icon for me out 0:18:34.440 --> 0:18:38.320 trailblazer in. Okay, you to yours? I want to. I 0:18:38.320 --> 0:18:39.760 want to know what you're Capricorn. 0:18:39.840 --> 0:18:43.720 Hey, so many people, so little time. If you thought 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:48.080 your popularity peaked before Gus Again, on January eleven, the 0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:51.680 fateful North node glides into Pisces, meaning like that means 0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:55.080 like more emotion, So like Pisces are more emotional, energizing 0:18:55.119 --> 0:18:57.720 your curious social third house for eighteen. 0:18:57.359 --> 0:18:58.880 Months you said curiosity. 0:18:59.200 --> 0:19:02.720 I know, So that's right across the board. The karmic 0:19:02.920 --> 0:19:06.639 South No treks through Ergo, which can stir up restlessness 0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:09.080 and turn you into a bit of a Nomad. I 0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:11.000 feel like Nomad is my year this year, like I 0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:13.160 actually want to I know, I feel like I want 0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:15.520 to pack my house up, put it in storage, and 0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:18.040 then just be like an airbab girl. Yeah I know, 0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:20.440 but then like what am I gonna be with my dog? Anyways? 0:19:20.480 --> 0:19:22.400 You want to do, see and enjoy it all, which 0:19:22.400 --> 0:19:25.200 means managing your time and peace, which I think is 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:28.320 a good year. So I think twenty twenty five for 0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:32.679 me is a lot of travel and a lot of experiencing. 0:19:33.000 --> 0:19:39.160 I think I want to like expand on knowledge and 0:19:40.160 --> 0:19:43.040 my arts, so I want things. I want to like 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:45.800 know things so I can share things. Yeah, and I 0:19:45.880 --> 0:19:48.960 just feel like I've given two years of the podcast 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:52.640 so much of my time, but I feel like I've 0:19:52.720 --> 0:19:56.160 run out of like things to like tell you. 0:19:56.400 --> 0:19:59.040 Really yeah, Oh, I feel like your life is so 0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:01.639 much more interesting than I feel like you come in 0:20:01.680 --> 0:20:04.600 with many stories and I'm like here, i feel like 0:20:04.640 --> 0:20:07.320 you're a guest on our podcast. Every time, I'm like, 0:20:07.400 --> 0:20:09.040 you've got all I'm asking all the questions. 0:20:09.960 --> 0:20:13.520