WEBVTT - WHY AM I BEING SO NEEDY? 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:02.759 I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming. 0:00:03.200 --> 0:00:06.080 She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:07.080 my kissing. 0:00:06.760 --> 0:00:10.680 Style with a boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:13.960 He's in a trash bin. He's non recyclable, catching her up. 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:17.319 I love being love. I love love. 0:00:17.960 --> 0:00:20.480 On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we are 0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:24.599 looking at codependency in relationships and being clinging. 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:27.080 Stay tuned to hear what our thoughts are on each 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:29.440 other being clingy, and what the cur is to stop 0:00:29.480 --> 0:00:32.320 being so needy. 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:37.800 Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all 0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:43.199 things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between. 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:46.120 This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, 0:00:46.360 --> 0:00:48.520 intimate details, advice, and much more. 0:00:53.360 --> 0:00:56.160 Okay, welcome back everyone to Where's Your Head At. 0:00:56.200 --> 0:00:58.400 I'm Anna, I'm Matt, and we just want to start 0:00:58.400 --> 0:01:01.880 off today by touching on last week's episode that we 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:05.360 did with Olivia and Jackson from mass Yeah. 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:09.120 I mean, firstly, we're gonna start by saying the level 0:01:09.160 --> 0:01:13.319 of trolling that they got on their platforms but also 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:17.320 on our social media was so eye opening. Matt and 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:19.760 I have never seen that level of trolling before, and 0:01:19.800 --> 0:01:21.400 it was honestly overwhelming. 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:23.440 I was actually speechless, so I still am. Like I 0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:26.760 remember looking at my phone the morning after we posted 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:28.600 the stuff, and I was just I was gobsmacked. 0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:31.039 I think the thing with trolling is we have to 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:36.080 remember it's a really small percentage of people that troll, 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:39.399 like less than five percent of people. The majority of 0:01:39.520 --> 0:01:43.120 people are sane and level headed. But I think when 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:46.319 you see like this enormous amount of trolling, whether it 0:01:46.360 --> 0:01:49.920 be Olivia and Jackson or someone else, that's kind of 0:01:50.200 --> 0:01:52.720 getting a bit of heat. I think you have to 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:56.920 remember that it's not everyone's view and perspective. Like people 0:01:57.040 --> 0:02:00.840 are kind, they are open minded, and I think for 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:02.520 us it was a bit of a shock because it 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:06.120 was really disheartening to see so much hate. But it 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:09.639 wasn't just hate, like it was deeper than that. 0:02:09.800 --> 0:02:12.360 Did you find that like a lot of it was 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:15.119 people like jumping on a bandwagon. They're all ganging up 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:17.360 and getting together and like, do you know what I mean? 0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:20.120 It was a pack mentality almost, yeah. 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:22.800 For sure. So like people would see a few hate 0:02:22.840 --> 0:02:25.080 comments and then they jump on board or they like 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:28.120 a comment. If they're not brave enough to say something 0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:31.880 because they realize how spiteful and evil it is, and like, look, 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:34.560 we get why people feel this way. We watched the 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:38.080 show too. We both had very strong opinions watching Olivia 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:41.680 and Jackson, and I mean even Jackson said if he 0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:46.119 saw Olivia and how she acted, he wouldn't want her 0:02:46.200 --> 0:02:48.520 to teach his kids as well. So, I mean, we're 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:50.720 all on the same page. You know, we definitely don't 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:53.919 want to condone any of the bullying on any level, 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:55.240 like from any side, from. 0:02:55.320 --> 0:02:58.040 The show or even on social media. We're against bullying. 0:02:57.720 --> 0:03:00.359 Here and we've been anti bullying from day one. We've 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:03.640 spoken about it with many of our guests, including Michael Theo, 0:03:03.720 --> 0:03:08.079 who spoke a lot about even he was getting online abuse, 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:12.079 which just blew my mind. And I think it's important 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:15.480 to point out that that there's a difference between having 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:20.200 an opinion and trolling. Like everyone is entitled to have 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:24.000 an opinion. We all love sharing our opinion, but when 0:03:24.040 --> 0:03:27.520 it gets to a level where someone's talking about a 0:03:27.560 --> 0:03:31.400 potential suicide and people are saying do it, that is 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:35.680 where we have to draw the line. And it was 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:36.960 honestly mind blowing. 0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:39.960 Look, we started this podcast because we wanted to be 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:43.440 able to tell and hear from people that we found interesting, 0:03:43.680 --> 0:03:46.400 and we obviously thought that their story was interesting, like 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:49.120 thousands of people do that have listened and tuned into 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:52.240 our podcast. It's an interesting story about what they went through. 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:54.600 So everyone has the right to be heard. So that's 0:03:54.600 --> 0:03:56.840 why we got them on the podcast. Look, we don't 0:03:56.840 --> 0:03:59.920 think what they're saying is true or lies. It's theirpy. 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:04.840 Like I always say, Anna, there's three sides to a story, yours, their's, 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:06.200 and the truth and. 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:10.160 The producers four side scenario. 0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:12.000 Yeah, you got me there. So there's four sides to 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:14.080 a story in this one, and we just wanted to 0:04:14.160 --> 0:04:16.440 hear their side and let them tell their side. And 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:19.400 we're not siding with them, We're not against them. We're 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:26.479 just Switzerland in the middle, neutral, all right. And on 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:30.280 a positive note, your ten is looking amazing. That isn't 0:04:30.480 --> 0:04:32.880 any That isn't fake. That's real, isn't it? 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.280 That is right? I mean to be honest, I feel 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:37.760 like I could use a bit of a fake tan. 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:39.960 She loves her tan. So how was Bali? 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:44.880 It was amazing? Like it was super fun. Bali seems 0:04:44.880 --> 0:04:47.280 to be getting back to normal after the pandemic, which 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:50.560 is great. We stayed in Changu for the majority of 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:53.520 the time and it was super fun, like there was 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:56.600 people everywhere. It's pretty busy there. It's very warm, and 0:04:56.640 --> 0:04:59.720 Bali the summer shining were the COVID restrictions on getting in, 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:01.920 it was fine, Like, it was super easy to get there, 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:04.800 way easier than Thailand, easier than going to the UK. 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:07.839 So it was a simple process. So for anyone traveling 0:05:07.839 --> 0:05:11.520 to Bali, like, don't worry, it's super easy, super fine. 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:14.680 Just read the guidelines and you'll be good to go. 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:17.200 I don't know if you saw this on my Instagram, 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:21.440 but Michael decided that he wanted to get a Hannah tattoo. 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:24.000 Because Michael and I have been talking for a little 0:05:24.000 --> 0:05:26.920 bit about getting matching tattoos, even when you and Gen 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:29.279 were getting a matching tattoo, we were kind of like 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:32.000 should we go with them? And so Michael was kind 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:34.600 of like, okay, Anna, what I'm gonna do is I'm 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:38.680 going to get a Hennah tattoo on the beach as 0:05:38.800 --> 0:05:40.480 like a trial run kind of thing. 0:05:40.640 --> 0:05:42.240 So is that what he wants to get a tattoo 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:43.160 of your name? 0:05:43.400 --> 0:05:45.120 I don't think he'd get a tattoo of my name. 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:48.000 But he was like, fuck it, we're on holiday, We're 0:05:48.000 --> 0:05:50.800 in love. He was feeling the holiday romance, so he 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:55.640 was like, let's get Anna Hannah tattooed on my ankle. Anyway, 0:05:56.120 --> 0:05:59.200 he's had this tattoo now for a week. It's really 0:05:59.279 --> 0:06:03.520 like very badly done. That's okay, Like he wasn't expecting 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:04.200 it to be good. 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:06.159 Sorry. How long does a hen and tattoo last for? 0:06:06.279 --> 0:06:08.200 I've seen people with it on their hands and that, Like. 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:10.760 I think normally like two weeks. I could be wrong, 0:06:10.839 --> 0:06:12.960 but I think around two weeks, like no longer than 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:13.320 a month. 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:15.520 Okay, So he's got two weeks to decide if this 0:06:15.560 --> 0:06:16.480 is what he wants or not. 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:20.400 It's definitely not what he wants. But he noticed that 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:24.599 it started to get darker and he's like, why is 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:28.360 it getting darker? And like when the tattoo was being 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:32.000 applied or put on, the guy was using this really sharp, 0:06:32.160 --> 0:06:35.880 pointy tool that was kind of like spiky, and Michael 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:38.800 was like, huh, hold on a second, like it's. 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:40.240 A real tattoo twist. 0:06:41.080 --> 0:06:43.560 So anyway, I posted it on my Instagram being like 0:06:43.760 --> 0:06:47.320 ha ha ha. Michael thinks this could be a real tattoo, 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:54.360 like loll jokes whatever. Anyway, then my DMS fully blew up. 0:06:54.720 --> 0:06:57.880 People were like, I got a henna tattoo and Bali 0:06:57.960 --> 0:07:01.400 when I was seventeen. I'm now thirty and still have it. 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:06.880 All of these horror stories, and I was like, surely 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:12.160 not like number one, the tattoo looks like trash. It 0:07:12.240 --> 0:07:14.560 was actually messed up like three times, like it was 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:18.160 not well put on anyway. It just it can't be real, 0:07:18.320 --> 0:07:21.480 Like it can't be real. We're both in denial, imagining. 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:23.480 A month from now it's still there. Two months from now, 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:25.160 we're reporting back and it's still there. 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:29.120 There's so many stories of people having these Hannah tattoos 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:32.600 from Bali for like ten years, and I'm just like, wow, 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:36.360 this is too much. But then people have also told 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:40.240 me stories where the ink from Bali has actually burnt 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:43.880 their skin and so then they're actually left with a 0:07:43.920 --> 0:07:48.600 scar in the shape of like whatever hennah tattoo they got. 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:50.080 So if you. 0:07:50.080 --> 0:07:55.440 Google this, honestly, like it's very traumatizing. So Michael's going 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:58.120 through a lot of trauma right now. He's like, you 0:07:58.160 --> 0:07:59.920 know what, I love you so much, but. 0:07:59.880 --> 0:08:02.720 Like, you know, I can't have this. This is not the. 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:04.360 Tattoo I would have gotten for you. 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:06.280 All right, So if you guys are going to get 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:08.040 matching tattoos, what are you looking at getting. 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:11.560 There's a few options going around, Like Michael calls me 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:14.640 his little English rose because my dad's English, so he 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:17.400 was thinking of getting a rose, and I was thinking 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:20.240 of getting like this little Greek symbol. We were thinking 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:24.000 of getting Always, both of us getting Always tattooed. There's 0:08:24.040 --> 0:08:26.640 lots of different kind of ideas being thrown around, but 0:08:27.280 --> 0:08:29.920 at this stage that's being held on pause because Michael 0:08:30.120 --> 0:08:33.120 could potentially have Anna marked on his skin for life. 0:08:33.240 --> 0:08:36.800 So everyone's say a prayer for Michael the tattoo. 0:08:36.400 --> 0:08:41.480 As well to get done. Oh no, so apart from 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:47.240 Michael's I'm not gonna say average, but his questionable tattoo 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:49.360 that he's ended up getting of your name, how's the 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:50.320 rest of your holiday? 0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:53.360 It was really fun, Like we went whitewater rafting. If 0:08:53.360 --> 0:08:55.920 you're going to Bali, I would highly recommend it. It 0:08:56.000 --> 0:08:58.560 was super fun and we just kind of chilled out. 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:02.160 It was really nice, not doing too much and just 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:07.600 really kicking back and relaxing. Me and Michael, We're like, 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:10.640 oh my god, we've become so codependent, Like, how has 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:14.000 this happened? Because we just love spending time together. So 0:09:14.440 --> 0:09:18.040 I think we're going to talk about codependency in relationships 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:19.880 in this episode next. 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:26.320 And before we start today's topic, would you call yourself 0:09:26.320 --> 0:09:30.040 clinging or codependent? Because I know what i'd call you, 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:31.560 but I'll let you say it first. 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:40.199 Look, if I really like someone, yeah, Like, I think 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:42.520 I do get a little bit codependent, and it is 0:09:42.600 --> 0:09:46.920 something that I have noticed in past relationships and something 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:48.960 that I've actually tried to do a lot of work on. 0:09:49.200 --> 0:09:52.480 Like I kind of swore to myself after my last 0:09:52.480 --> 0:09:55.000 relationship because obviously we were in a lockdown together, and 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:58.640 I mean lockdowns just breed codependency. 0:09:59.000 --> 0:09:59.319 I did. 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:01.360 Yeah, But yeah, I think after that I kind of 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:03.560 saw to myself that I would make sure that I 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:07.040 really kept my independence and sense of self. But am 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:07.520 I clinging? 0:10:07.640 --> 0:10:07.920 Yeah? 0:10:07.960 --> 0:10:09.760 Like when you're in love, I think it's hard not 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:10.520 to be clinging. 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:13.360 Yeah, i'd have to say you're quite clingy, I know, 0:10:13.480 --> 0:10:15.760 if I am to be honest. But aren't we all 0:10:15.800 --> 0:10:17.360 a little bit like you said, when we're in love? 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:20.280 Like I was about to say, Matt, you're so cling you. 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:22.160 Mean, I know, I get like a little bit annoyed 0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:24.440 if you're not answering me quick enough of texting me back. 0:10:24.840 --> 0:10:27.920 But that's I find that that's more like is it? 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:31.640 Would you say separation anxiety? Almost in a way. Yeah, 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:33.760 I get that a little bit, like if it's like 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:35.640 a big day, you're too far away from each other. 0:10:36.320 --> 0:10:38.280 I know that Gen's going on a couple of holidays, 0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:40.360 not holidays, but one's a work trip, but that without me, 0:10:40.679 --> 0:10:43.160 and I'm gonna we're being discussing how we're going to 0:10:43.240 --> 0:10:45.640 go without each other for seven days? 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:46.719 How are you going to go? 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:48.560 Well, one of them, she won't have her phone on 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:52.760 her so why she's doing a trail through the Northern 0:10:52.880 --> 0:10:55.600 Territory for charity, So she's not going to have her 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:57.720 phone for seven days. 0:10:57.960 --> 0:11:00.480 How are you gonna survive? My phone going to be 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:01.880 blowing up that way? 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:04.839 I said. I hope her twin sister, Nikki is ready 0:11:04.840 --> 0:11:07.760 for me to be blowing her phone off asking her 0:11:07.800 --> 0:11:11.720 to get coffee with me. I actually I actually went 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:13.199 up behind Gen when we're talking about it. I was like, 0:11:13.200 --> 0:11:15.160 would Nikky care if I did this to her like 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:16.720 cuddled and she's like, yeah, I should tell you to 0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:17.280 fuck off. 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:19.480 Yeah, fair enough, And. 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:20.880 I was like, yeah, fair enough. 0:11:21.160 --> 0:11:23.480 Yeah, I think i'd definitely call you a little bit 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:29.240 codependent Matt. And I think even in our relationshipling sometimes 0:11:29.760 --> 0:11:32.120 like have you seen my text? I'm like, you've literally 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:35.280 messaged me on three different group chats, Matt, I don't know. 0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:36.840 Which one this morning. 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:40.760 Yeah, I'm telling that story because it literally happened this morning. 0:11:42.200 --> 0:11:44.920 So what is the definition of codependency? 0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:49.960 Okay, so codependency is putting your partner's needs and desires 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:54.199 before your own every single time or majority of the time. 0:11:54.760 --> 0:11:59.240 Your happiness and mood is generally based around how they're feeling. 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:01.400 So like, I don't know about you, but when I 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:03.760 first start seeing someone, and this is how I know 0:12:03.840 --> 0:12:07.400 I'm quite clinging or a little bit codependent. When I 0:12:07.440 --> 0:12:11.240 first start seeing someone, they start to kind of consume 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:13.040 my thoughts. Like if I'm going on a date with 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:16.040 someone who I really like, it's my thoughts become consumed 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:19.560 by them. Then I start looking for validation after the 0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:22.080 dates to see if they've messaged me or how quickly 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:25.640 they're messaging me, and I kind of really fall into 0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:28.240 that trap of being a little bit consumed by them 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:30.640 if I like them enough where. 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:33.600 It says that your mood generally based around how they're feeling. 0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:36.560 I find myself really sensitive to energies, and I know 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:40.200 you do as well. So if my partner is feeling 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:44.360 like down or annoyed or pissed off about something, I 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:46.640 honestly let it, like fully, like you said, consume me, 0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:49.480 and like I'm like, well, it puts me in a mood, 0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:50.600 and I'm like, well, how do I get you out 0:12:50.640 --> 0:12:52.760 of this mood? And like I've been with partners, I 0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:54.760 just want like five minutes to relax and then they 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:56.760 come back. But I'm the sort of person that's like, no, no, 0:12:56.920 --> 0:12:58.160 like how do I make you feel better? And I 0:12:58.240 --> 0:13:02.800 like get really really and want to bring him back 0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:03.839 to like a positive mood. 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:07.160 Yeah, because I guess, yeah, it affects your energy, but 0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:09.480 that's something you probably need to learn and probably need 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:11.960 to give her five minutes and she'll come back to me. 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:15.960 Yeah, well, let's not get down that rabbit hole. Yeah. 0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:20.600 So, like, obviously you admittedly are quite clingy, codependent, needy, 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:24.240 whatever you want to call it, but you told me 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:27.760 the other day that you and jen had recently done 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:32.760 this thing where you've stopped talking during the day. Do 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:33.760 you want to talk me through that? 0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:38.720 Okay? So obviously Jenning myself living together now, so we 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:41.559 found that when we got home, we'd obviously spoken all 0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:43.720 day about stuff. So, like, if you think about it, 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:45.800 we have like all these different threads going So we 0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:49.040 have like a TikTok thread and Instagram thread and like 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:52.080 sometimes an email from forwarding her emails that she needs 0:13:52.120 --> 0:13:55.199 to read like text message. So we're like all these 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:57.760 different conversations going on that. Once we get home, we're 0:13:57.760 --> 0:13:59.640 just like, well, yeah, you told me that. Yeah, we 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:02.400 spoken that, you know what I mean. So we said, 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:04.880 all right, well how about me for a week, don't 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:08.760 communicate during the day. H nah. I think we got 0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:13.400 a couple of days. It was. It was very difficult, 0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:16.600 not just myself. I think she found it very difficult 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:17.680 as well, she said she did. 0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:20.480 Did you find yourself like going to text her to 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:22.640 tell her things and then you're like, damn, I'm not allowed. 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:24.480 Yeah, And then I would write it in notes. So 0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:26.720 then when we got home, we're there with our notes 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:29.000 and just reel off everything to each other. 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:31.640 Recap her on your day, make sure she hasn't missed 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:32.240 out on anything. 0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:37.120 I'm like, and then I got my third coffee. And 0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:39.240 then because we send a lot of photos of what 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:41.800 we're doing during the day, so i just bombarded her 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:43.920 phone with all the photos and I'm like, this is 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:46.120 like this has become a show and te now. So 0:14:46.160 --> 0:14:47.960 we send her all the photos and then reading through 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:49.920 the notes. If you look at the photo of this, 0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:54.880 this is when I saw a duck. Yeah, so we've 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:58.600 acted that. We're just trying to now keep the talking 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:01.520 during the day to a minimum. And it's obviously training 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:03.640 for when she doesn't have a phone when she's on 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:04.240 her charity. 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:06.880 Matt needs a bit of training. 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:08.480 Yeah, I'm stressing. 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:11.480 I know that. Michael and I like this is how 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:14.240 codependent we are. We sometimes text each other and we're 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:16.600 literally in the same house. Like he'll be like, Okay, 0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:18.320 I'm gonna go do some work, or he'll be like 0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:23.400 on his laptop and he'll just be like love you. 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:25.760 So, I mean, you know, that's the first time I've 0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:26.120 heard of that. 0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:28.480 Have you got do you guys not do that? No? 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:32.080 I was just walking walk in and say hey. 0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:34.560 Yeah, yeah, that was out of nowhere that was not 0:15:34.600 --> 0:15:38.880 on the brief Sugar that story. That's cute though in 0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:39.240 a way. 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:42.160 Yeah, I think it's cute. Like we're both like busy 0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:44.520 doing works. Then he'll just like I'll just get like 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:45.800 a random message from him, and. 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:48.040 Then I'm like, oh, that's really sweet he thought about me. 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:49.800 Do you guys send like photos to each other, like 0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:51.560 selfies or photos of what you're doing in that? 0:15:51.960 --> 0:15:53.840 Yeah, but like not when we're in the same house 0:15:54.040 --> 0:15:56.000 that we'd have to be separated to do that. 0:15:56.360 --> 0:15:58.120 You know that every time before we start shooting, I 0:15:58.160 --> 0:16:00.320 send a selfie to gen Yeah, I know, And then 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:02.800 I ended up putting that in my story. Yeah, yeah, 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:05.080 and say like the link below. Yeah, but that's what 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:06.520 we do. We do that sort of stuff and send 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:08.040 each other selfish Yeah. 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:10.560 Have you witnessed codependency. 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:14.040 I'd say in my I wouldn't say I have been codependent. 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:16.840 There's obviously been a previous relationship where they tried to 0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:19.920 control me, my finances, what I did, and all that 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:22.480 sort of stuff. But I sort of fought back on 0:16:22.520 --> 0:16:22.920 that one. 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:25.480 You kind of fought for your independence. 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:27.240 Yeah, I fought for my independence, Like I was like, 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:29.640 give me a bit of space, like I'm a grown man, 0:16:29.680 --> 0:16:31.920 like I can do what I want to do. Yeah, 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:35.640 I've seen mates that are like pretty codependent on their missus. 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:37.560 I know, I've got a really good made of mind 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:40.480 who I think is and he'd say he is as well. Yeah, 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:43.560 I realized on her to cookies dinner, like get his 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:46.160 like morning breakfast for him and all that sort of stuff. 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:48.160 Is it a bad thing though? I don't know. 0:16:48.960 --> 0:16:52.160 I think that's a fine line. So, like I would say, 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:54.200 if you can't do it for yourself and you're getting 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:57.360 them to do it, and like it's actually like your 0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:00.920 girlfriend's taking time out of their day and it's pushing there, 0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:05.760 like yeah, like it's impacting them, then it's a situation. 0:17:05.840 --> 0:17:07.960 But if they've got time, like you say, you're working, 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:09.960 like and they're at home to cook dinner or do 0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:11.800 something like that, so be it. I think. 0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:15.840 Yeah, Well, look, let's talk about how being codependent is 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:19.439 detrimental to other aspects of your life. 0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:25.920 Next. Anna, you've told me a lot about guys who 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:29.680 have become codependent quickly in relationships. What is the craziest 0:17:29.720 --> 0:17:31.120 codependency story you have. 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:35.920 It's funny you asked this because the craziest codependency story 0:17:35.960 --> 0:17:38.760 that I actually have is with someone who I don't 0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:40.120 know and have never met. 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:42.159 They got codependent on you. 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:48.120 Yeah, how bizarre. No, So basically I had this guy. 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:53.720 He was in my message request section. So obviously on Instagram, 0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:56.840 I have primary messages and I have general messages, and 0:17:56.840 --> 0:17:59.200 then the request messages are from people who I don't 0:17:59.240 --> 0:18:02.119 follow that might send me through a message and I 0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:05.000 can read it and they won't know that I've read it. Anyway, 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:08.760 there was this guy that just kept popping up there 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:11.720 every single day or anytime I would check it. He 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:15.240 was always there and he would message me like six 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:18.080 to seven times a week, and a lot of the messages, 0:18:18.840 --> 0:18:21.359 the way he would talk was as if he knew me, 0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:24.479 as if he was going to see me later. If 0:18:24.520 --> 0:18:27.080 I was talking to the camera, he would reply back 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:29.159 and be like, yeah, baby, thanks for like letting me 0:18:29.240 --> 0:18:33.960 know about this. So he genuinely thought, from my understanding, 0:18:34.000 --> 0:18:37.120 that we were in a relationship. And this went on 0:18:37.320 --> 0:18:40.679 for over a year. Like this guy did not give up. 0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:42.800 I was like, how do you have time for me? Like, 0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:45.600 we don't even know each other, we've never met, But 0:18:45.960 --> 0:18:48.960 I think he didn't have an understanding that we weren't 0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:52.119 in a relationship. And it was funny because when I 0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:56.600 posted Michael, when I hard launched Michael, I can't remember 0:18:56.600 --> 0:19:00.440 what I said, but obviously i'd hashtagged boyfriend. I actually 0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:05.040 got a breakup message from this codependent follower that I 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:09.359 have so well I had. Yeah, he was like, clearly, 0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:13.919 like you've been kind of cheating on me with Michael. 0:19:14.119 --> 0:19:16.000 I think the best thing to do is that we 0:19:16.080 --> 0:19:19.399 take some space. You've really hurt me here, Like, I 0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:23.400 hope you understand how hurt this has made me. And honestly, 0:19:23.440 --> 0:19:24.320 I felt really bad. 0:19:25.680 --> 0:19:27.800 Have you heard from since that breakup message? 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:31.520 Not once. So it's crazy because that person was so 0:19:31.640 --> 0:19:34.200 codependent on me, and I guess, like I hate to 0:19:34.240 --> 0:19:37.280 say it, but we're very deluded and delusional about the 0:19:37.320 --> 0:19:40.680 relationship that they thought we had. And yeah, I got 0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:43.879