Speaker 1: This is the Chrissy Swan Show.
Speaker 2: I have polished up my crystal ball.
Speaker 3: Spexsavors is helping Chrissy with her mystical visions.
Speaker 1: Should have gone to Specsavers.
Speaker 4: Natas Screen.
Speaker 5: Christ.
Speaker 6: Hi, Hello, how are you with Airy Fairy? I just
Speaker 6: want to say, straight off the bat, you are a
Speaker 6: very punctual woman.
Speaker 5: Oh. I don't know if my teachers say that, but
Speaker 5: I think I am. I like to think I'm punctual.
Speaker 6: Well, the word that came to mind was late, and
Speaker 6: I thought that meant you're never late, But maybe you're
Speaker 6: always late.
Speaker 5: I get there eventually, people know I'm on my way.
Speaker 5: That's yeah, you're right.
Speaker 4: So she was wrong, and you're always late. Not punctual you.
Speaker 6: I see the words hard to find, and that means
Speaker 6: that you love online shopping.
Speaker 2: Absolutely guilt free.
Speaker 7: No, I can see me.
Speaker 2: You the best cash there is.
Speaker 6: I can see abandoned buildings around you, Tash. Are you
Speaker 6: like an abando sort of hunter?
Speaker 5: I like going bossy king like three, But I don't
Speaker 5: have any around me as such. But I travel to
Speaker 5: go to those.
Speaker 4: Random property Wow, what's that called? There's a name for that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know, but I love it too, And
Speaker 6: there's this one in arra Rat in Victoria that I
Speaker 6: desperately want to go to an asylum of diner.
Speaker 5: You are one out of the way to Woodford, but anyway, good?
Speaker 2: Oh is there one out the way to Woodford? Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm going to google that. You like essential oils, particularly
Speaker 2: the calm ones on lavender. Yes, lavender?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh, Chrissy, Tash, there is a secret around you.
Speaker 4: You're cheating on your partner.
Speaker 5: Not wrong. Sorry that was punctual, wasn't it.
Speaker 6: There is something secret though, Tash. There you've got a
Speaker 6: secret or maybe you were a secret.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: There's a lot of secrets around my life.
Speaker 7: But personally, yeah, give us one, like in what kind
Speaker 7: of area?
Speaker 5: Oh no, there's so many.
Speaker 7: But physically.
Speaker 5: I might be aging faster.
Speaker 2: Than I want to be, and that is a secret.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm going blind my eyes.
Speaker 4: Oh I should have gone to Specsavors.
Speaker 5: Mate.
Speaker 2: Well, you're going to love this price now.
Speaker 6: Also, Tash, I see a big basket of odd socks
Speaker 6: and they're driving you crazy on my pool table.
Speaker 5: I have kids, I have boys. Yes, you're in my house, Chrissy.
Speaker 5: I'm walking around looking now.
Speaker 2: All right, I am going I'm gonna give you one
Speaker 2: big hit.
Speaker 6: Chicken nuggets are life?
Speaker 5: Yes, after school, and even maybe I do that while
Speaker 5: they're at school. Yes, yes, Well.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you? Can I tell you my secret?
Speaker 6: A couple of weeks ago, I ordered two boxes of
Speaker 6: forty nuggets each at.
Speaker 4: The drive through And did you eat the more yourself?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 6: I ate one in the car with the kids, and
Speaker 6: then I froze another one because they go, what now I.
Speaker 4: Want to cry? Nuggets?
Speaker 7: Well, Tash, I know it's sad that you're going blind,
Speaker 7: but the good news is you've got a VIP Specsavers
Speaker 7: voucher for one pair of glasses or sunglasses and two
Speaker 7: hundred and fifty dollars cash.
Speaker 4: Ah ah.
Speaker 2: The Chrissy Swan Show, Let's do this.
Speaker 3: Specsavors is helping Chrissy with her mystical visions.
Speaker 1: Should have gone to Specsavers.
Speaker 2: I have a spec Saver's update.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah me.
Speaker 6: Yesterday I said on to do list Tuesday, drop my
Speaker 6: specs in my brand new blue slash green speck that
Speaker 6: I stood on. Got a text message ready to be
Speaker 6: picked up.
Speaker 4: Mate. They would have just chucked them in the bin
Speaker 4: and got your brand new Pairchrissy Swan.
Speaker 6: Can't turn it around that quick, Maite. They're the same glasses.
Speaker 6: Those people are mystic themselves.
Speaker 4: Because you've got your special lenses and stuff.
Speaker 2: Correct.
Speaker 4: Wow, I love this. Who is in your office today?
Speaker 6: Hello Amanda, pull the curtain back and take a seat
Speaker 6: in my cane chair.
Speaker 3: Hello Chrissy, Hello Jack.
Speaker 2: Hello Amanda, Amanda, Jane.
Speaker 5: Clarus again, my sisters. My sister's ne he named Jane.
Speaker 2: Amanda Luise.
Speaker 5: Clors. That's with an el. You're on the right track, Lee, Yes, oh.
Speaker 2: Amanda. Why am I seeing the word.
Speaker 5: Grumpy Because I just got back from Bali.
Speaker 6: And you wish you were their slummered puggy Amanda slummer Peggy,
Speaker 6: that's it.
Speaker 4: What did she drink in Bali?
Speaker 5: Ah?
Speaker 2: She drank.
Speaker 6: You drank a lot of mahidos though specifically yes.
Speaker 7: I did lots of mahidos.
Speaker 2: Good thing about them is you pay a fortune. There's
Speaker 2: no booze in them.
Speaker 6: Okay, Now I can see a big box of bi carbsider.
Speaker 6: You're mad for buy carpsider or someone is, maybe your mum.
Speaker 6: You use it to clean everything everything. All roads lead
Speaker 6: to buy carp Oh, I've got some rust on my fridge.
Speaker 2: You know what'll get that, Amanda, buy carp.
Speaker 4: Maybe it's another white powder.
Speaker 2: Please don't do that in Bali, you'll.
Speaker 5: It's not me, but maybe my mom. She's a clean free.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you grew up near a house that should have
Speaker 6: been condemned, or maybe it was your house.
Speaker 5: I grew up near a house ye falling.
Speaker 2: Down, spooky Boo Radley Starr.
Speaker 5: Very spooky and all the kids used to play in it.
Speaker 4: In your house, in a spooky house. Oh that's epic.
Speaker 2: Good for spinn the bottle though.
Speaker 6: Hey Amanda, Yes, there's a redundant around you, whether or
Speaker 6: not you want one desperately because you hate your job,
Speaker 6: or somebody's just got one.
Speaker 2: I want one.
Speaker 4: What field of work do we think Amanda works?
Speaker 6: And mister Chrissy, it's clerical offhicey correct, God, I can
Speaker 6: hear you hate it. You have an aversion to pigeons.
Speaker 6: Don't like pigeons or birds, the wings spooking.
Speaker 5: My sister hates birds with a passion, and we always
Speaker 5: find it funny when we throw like chips at the
Speaker 5: seagulls and they come near her.
Speaker 4: And she goes.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she runs away screaming.
Speaker 2: She doesn't like pigeons. She doesn't know, but she does
Speaker 2: like the sound of music, and so do you. Amanda
Speaker 2: the film I love musicals, No.
Speaker 6: The sound of music, specifically Maria von Trapp.
Speaker 4: The session's over, mystics TapouT.
Speaker 2: That's West Side Story, wicked.
Speaker 4: Give up.
Speaker 7: You have one a VIP Spec Savers voucher for one
Speaker 7: pair of glasses and two hundred and fifty dollars cash.
Speaker 2: Don't stomp on them.
Speaker 5: I won't them.
Speaker 4: Also, Amanda, I hope you quit your job soon.
Speaker 1: I hope so.
Speaker 6: The Chrissy Swan Show, the Chrissy Swan Show, Let's get
Speaker 6: all mystical.
Speaker 3: Specsavers is helping Chrissy with her mystical visions.
Speaker 1: Should have gone to Specsavers.
Speaker 6: First of all, these are the Specsavers. Did I tell
Speaker 6: you that the fancy blue slash green glasses that I
Speaker 6: stood on, like stood on until they became like an
Speaker 6: opera pair of glasses?
Speaker 4: Yeah, the magicians at Spec Savers fixed them.
Speaker 2: Fix them.
Speaker 4: I knew that.
Speaker 6: I told you that, But you know, everybody listens to
Speaker 6: every minute there might be someone going on what.
Speaker 2: Happened to those classes were fixed? Hello Alexis, Oh, Hello, Chrissy,
Speaker 2: straight away, straight away, the mystic juices are flowing. Alexis.
Speaker 6: You are known as very out going. It's a word
Speaker 6: that is used about you.
Speaker 5: Oh, it has been in the right environment.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And you are not easily embarrassed.
Speaker 5: If you ask my children, they would say that, Yeah,
Speaker 5: I like to dance when I hear music in the shop.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, me too.
Speaker 4: Are you are drunk?
Speaker 2: Is your favorite? Is your favorite disco? The supermarket? Because
Speaker 2: it is for me.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I love a supermarket, I love a shopping center,
Speaker 5: just anywhere.
Speaker 4: And yeah, Cole's radio slaps man.
Speaker 2: It's the best.
Speaker 5: Don't go to clubs anymore. So that is my music.
Speaker 6: You are putting off an important appointment, Alexis, stop it.
Speaker 5: Well, I mean I'm well overdue for an eye check,
Speaker 5: you know, hence the call Christy. Well, I need to
Speaker 5: get down to spec safe.
Speaker 6: Don't put it off anymore. I'm not saying that there's glack, Homer.
Speaker 6: I'm just saying, don't put it off dark. Hey, you've
Speaker 6: been annoyed. You've been annoyed royally by an old school friend.
Speaker 5: I don't know about annoyed. I have just today I'm
Speaker 5: moving house and I'm moving back to Melbourne, and I'm
Speaker 5: moving back to the hood of school friends. So I
Speaker 5: am seeing people I haven't seen for a.
Speaker 6: Very good We'll be careful because you're about to be
Speaker 6: annoyed by one of them.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I know what it is.
Speaker 6: One of them's a dropper in r and you'd rather die?
Speaker 5: I would?
Speaker 7: I would?
Speaker 2: Yes, Yeah, nip that in the butt. I've got a
Speaker 2: couple more things here.
Speaker 6: You've been a member of a cult, and by that
Speaker 6: I mean something like an essential oil cult where you're like,
Speaker 6: you know, buy one, go on free.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking do Terra tupperware, something like that.
Speaker 3: Do we call?
Speaker 4: Yes? We do?
Speaker 5: Yes.
Speaker 4: What's your most recent team we purchased? Being Alexis, I.
Speaker 5: Bought a whole lot of dog pooh bags and dog
Speaker 5: poo carriers.
Speaker 6: See, and that brings me to my It brings me
Speaker 6: to my last word, which is you are very messy.
Speaker 2: I see, I see the word messy.
Speaker 5: Look normally I'm actually really clean. But literally I am
Speaker 5: sitting on a box in my new place with crap everywhere,
Speaker 5: and that's what I see.
Speaker 2: Or maybe you're a messy drunk. I don't know.
Speaker 7: Get off that box, Alexis and head into your local
Speaker 7: Specsavers because you have a VIP Specsavers voucher for one
Speaker 7: pair of glasses and two hundred and fifty dollars cash.
Speaker 2: Also was Ellie Goulding.
Speaker 6: Ellie Goulding that had shared wrote about check. The Chrissy
Speaker 6: Swan Show is a Nova podcast. For more great comedy
Speaker 6: shows like this, head to novapodcast dot com.
Speaker 1: Do you