Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to separate bathrooms. We would like to
Speaker 1: acknowledge the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation, the traditional
Speaker 1: custodians of this land, and pay our respects to the elders,
Speaker 1: both past and present. My name's Cam Daddo.
Speaker 2: I'm Ali Daddo.
Speaker 1: We've got a surprise for you today, our son. I'm
Speaker 1: very excited to have him in. We've had Lolo in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that was just me and her. This is
Speaker 2: the first time that we've had the parentals with the child.
Speaker 2: We've known him his whole life, yes, right.
Speaker 1: Indeed we have. I was was I the first one
Speaker 1: to put my hands on him. I remember I was
Speaker 1: the one lifting up my T shirt that he was
Speaker 1: wrapped in when he was born at home to see
Speaker 1: if River was indeed a boy or a girl? Who's
Speaker 1: going to be River either way? In name? Wasn't he?
Speaker 2: Yes, that's right, that's right, do you I mean he
Speaker 2: was on my chest and then yeah, then the T
Speaker 2: shirt went over him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but we still didn't know at that point.
Speaker 2: No, we didn't know for a It felt like a while,
Speaker 2: probably in the skim of things, not that long. But
Speaker 2: we were just madly in love with this perfectly round,
Speaker 2: little chunky baby.
Speaker 1: It was the most peaceful birth.
Speaker 2: It was a beautiful, but it wasn't There.
Speaker 1: Was nothing dramatic about it. Yeah, it was in the
Speaker 1: bedroom in our house. There was a tub in the
Speaker 1: bedroom that we had for you to birth him in
Speaker 1: the tarban. You ended up getting in there afterwards. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we didn't feel right to have him in the
Speaker 2: water like Lolo was. But yeah, it was a very
Speaker 2: special experience. It was, and he was just Remember he
Speaker 2: lifted his head up and just looked around and everyone
Speaker 2: went look at him.
Speaker 1: He's so aware and so strong to lift his head up.
Speaker 1: That was kind of like it was like an et moment,
Speaker 1: his big eyes and this head kind of going lifting
Speaker 1: out of his shoulders.
Speaker 2: And then I think you said, is he a boy
Speaker 2: or a girl? And then you had had the first look.
Speaker 1: Definitely a boy, Definitely a boy.
Speaker 2: We just thought we'd bring him in, have a chat
Speaker 2: with him and maybe you'll fall in love with him
Speaker 2: as much as we love him as well.
Speaker 1: Let's welcome to the bathroom, our number one son, River
Speaker 1: true daddo, Welcome to the bathroom. Son. Thanks, you've just
Speaker 1: asked who dropped out?
Speaker 3: Well, it's such short I mean you called me on
Speaker 3: what Tuesday asking me to come on it, and I
Speaker 3: was like, well, it's such short notice.
Speaker 1: So we did. We did. We realized that Okay, so
Speaker 1: we've got we've had Lotus has been in the bathroom,
Speaker 1: your big sister, your little sister has said to me
Speaker 1: last night.
Speaker 3: When am I coming said that to mom, I was like,
Speaker 3: she's going to be pissed when she finds that she's
Speaker 3: the last one.
Speaker 2: She's going to be banging on the basket.
Speaker 1: But this is how I grew up. There was you know,
Speaker 1: you had to wait your turn, and it was oldest
Speaker 1: to youngest. So I don't think body thinks that way. No,
Speaker 1: she definitely doesn't think that way. And that's her superpower.
Speaker 2: Actual Lexander, our producer that suggested with correct which we
Speaker 2: thought was just a genius idea. We're like, yeah, as
Speaker 2: of course.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So we'll get to the reasons why Xander was
Speaker 1: interested in having you aside from being our only son,
Speaker 1: our one and.
Speaker 2: Only favorite son of all time, couldn't have said it better.
Speaker 2: Our favorite river, our favorite sign.
Speaker 1: And so this is your first time in a radio
Speaker 1: studio podcast studio.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yep, yeah, I mean you used to take me
Speaker 3: to the voiceover sessions in Los Angeles when I was
Speaker 3: like a little little kid too.
Speaker 1: I did too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, No, that was because they didn't they have
Speaker 2: toys in the in the waiting.
Speaker 1: They lollies. So Dad used to convince us. Yeah, with
Speaker 1: the lullies, so come and hang out. There was always
Speaker 1: other actors in there. Yes, we'd be hanging out in
Speaker 1: a reception.
Speaker 2: Nothing like some sugar to bribe at all.
Speaker 1: Look, we might even get to that too, with the gymnastics, bribery, trauma, trauma.
Speaker 1: We kind of easy our ease our conversations into trauma
Speaker 1: rather than starting with trauma.
Speaker 2: So it's probably a nice place to start.
Speaker 1: It is. Hey, so you were born in America. Your
Speaker 1: first I'm going to say, sixteen years seventeen years of
Speaker 1: your life were living in the United States. Now you've
Speaker 1: moved to Australia. What was it. You know a lot
Speaker 1: of people are curious about what's it like to grow
Speaker 1: up in sunny southern California. How was that for you?
Speaker 1: And going to school there and you know there's Zoomer
Speaker 1: Beach in the valley dude, and in and out Burger
Speaker 1: and all that sort of stuff how you're an American kid.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like when you're in it, you don't
Speaker 3: really think about it, like that's just that's just normal.
Speaker 3: So it wasn't really until I think when we really
Speaker 3: started to come to Australia on holiway, like Christmas, summer
Speaker 3: break more, that you would start to compare the lifestyles.
Speaker 3: And that was kind of where I used to go, like,
Speaker 3: hang on, I kind of like I like the Australian
Speaker 3: lifestyle a lot better. And that just kind of built up.
Speaker 3: And remember I used to get so upset when we
Speaker 3: have to come home, Yes, and it just like steadily
Speaker 3: got more and more to the point where I'd be
Speaker 3: like crying when we when the plane landed back in
Speaker 3: Los Angeles because I did not want to be there
Speaker 3: that interesting.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I was. I was really excited to move.
Speaker 2: I know when Dad said it, you were just so
Speaker 2: gung ho for it. I remember that, like out of
Speaker 2: out of the rest of us, you were like, absolutely,
Speaker 2: let's go. What is it like for I mean, you
Speaker 2: said the lifestyle, but you know, not not necessarily to
Speaker 2: compare the two, but what is it about Australia that
Speaker 2: you love so much?
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 3: I actually don't know. I think it's just it's just
Speaker 3: I just like it. Yeah, it's just it's so much nicer.
Speaker 3: It's probably because you've got you know, all of our
Speaker 3: families here, but yeah, it's just it's just a feeling
Speaker 3: that you get living here.
Speaker 1: Like I go.
Speaker 3: On holiday, like we'll go to Europe whatever and that
Speaker 3: kind of thing, and I'm like excited to come home, yeah,
Speaker 3: because I know that I'm coming back to Australia. I
Speaker 3: know that sounds like cringe or whatever, but like it's
Speaker 3: that's just the way it is. Yeah, where I was,
Speaker 3: I do not have any connection to America whatsoever.
Speaker 1: Yea, and people from a passport.
Speaker 3: Yeah, aside from a passport, but like yeah, people are
Speaker 3: always like do you miss it? Do you ever want
Speaker 3: to go back? And I'm like no, would you ever
Speaker 3: work over there?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: Like I went on a whare I went over there
Speaker 3: in May and went into.
Speaker 1: My office office space.
Speaker 3: In Irvine, and the people they were like, would you
Speaker 3: ever come back here?
Speaker 1: And I was like no, probably not.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no I don't really want to, but oh yeah,
Speaker 3: And then it's it's just, yeah, it's just a feeling.
Speaker 3: I just I don't I wouldn't want to live anywhere
Speaker 3: else right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I agree, that's a fair call. And you've
Speaker 2: also the way, the way to your heart has always
Speaker 2: been through your tummy. You love I don't know anyone
Speaker 2: who loves their food more than riv and from a
Speaker 2: tiny baby, tiny baby, you were just food driven in
Speaker 2: such a great way. Then ye hate everything everything we
Speaker 2: put in front of him. He was like that was
Speaker 2: his joy. And I know that's been a big thing
Speaker 2: as well, hasn't it the food here you really enjoyed.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, although there are some like the snacks in America,
Speaker 3: and you can't compare the variety.
Speaker 1: Like when we were there earlier this year.
Speaker 3: We walked into like Walmart and it was just like
Speaker 3: the aisles and aisles of just variety that you could
Speaker 3: get there.
Speaker 1: And I was quite excited. Did you get those fire
Speaker 1: bomb cheetos that you like? Those red?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: I got gold I got my goldfish got goldfish crackers.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well that was a big part of your growing
Speaker 1: up too, I mean your infancy was there was it
Speaker 1: was goldfish that So I'll put you in your stroller,
Speaker 1: put a blanket over the top, make it make a
Speaker 1: hole between your legs there and fill the hole with goldfish. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that's how we used to walk around.
Speaker 2: The neighborhood as Larry.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well remember the shrimp. You wouldn't remember the shrimp
Speaker 1: the shrimp, but I know this story.
Speaker 2: Yeah, shrimp gate, shrimp slash prawn.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you choked on it, and luckily I managed
Speaker 1: to have a meeting have lunch with paramedics that day.
Speaker 2: It was the day before or was.
Speaker 1: The day before, that's right, and they told me how
Speaker 1: to clear a child's wind pipe if they're choking. And
Speaker 1: the best thing about that story is as the shrimp
Speaker 1: flew across the table into Lotus's lap, you were looking
Speaker 1: for another one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I lost that one, that one.
Speaker 1: Would you eat me on the back floor? Put another
Speaker 1: shrimp in my mouth?
Speaker 2: The best, the best sub Moving to Australia, moving with
Speaker 2: the Dado last name. Obviously you've got your uncles who've
Speaker 2: been in the industry as well.
Speaker 1: Was that.
Speaker 2: How well, how was that for you when you when
Speaker 2: you mentioned the Dado name, Was it sort of like
Speaker 2: what are you? Which son are you? And who do
Speaker 2: you belong to? And was that ever a weird experience
Speaker 2: for you? Having been in America, where both of us
Speaker 2: were unknowns.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean you guys know, you guys told us
Speaker 3: to expect it before we moved. You were like, this
Speaker 3: is probably gonna happen. Yeah, but it did.
Speaker 1: It doesn't. It doesn't happen a lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sorry, hence the letters. Try, Cameron, I think, like,
Speaker 3: you know, you'd be oh.
Speaker 2: My god, it would happen.
Speaker 3: You know, it's maybe happened. It happened a few times,
Speaker 3: but it definitely has happened.
Speaker 1: This is not making me feel bad, but mom feel bad.
Speaker 1: She didn't care. You're not making me feel bad, Yes
Speaker 1: you are. It's you know what.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: Where I've found it the most is when I've had
Speaker 3: like job interviews and I've gotten the job, and like
Speaker 3: later on within my in my first week, like I'll
Speaker 3: have like at my first at my first job, one
Speaker 3: of the one of the women and who had interviewed
Speaker 3: me for the job, and then within the first week
Speaker 3: she came up to me and she was like, oh
Speaker 3: my god, I know who your parents are. She's like
Speaker 3: I listened to your mum's podcast and that kind of thing,
Speaker 3: and she was and my boss was like, yes, he was,
Speaker 3: like she she said that to everyone, and I made
Speaker 3: sure that she did not bring it up in your
Speaker 3: job interview so that it will happen. Sometimes like that, do.
Speaker 2: You often get asked then are you interested in acting?
Speaker 2: Are you going into the entertainment industry?
Speaker 1: Do you ever get not? Really? Sometimes they'll be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: are you going to? Do you want to?
Speaker 3: And I've always said no because I've seen the way
Speaker 3: that what it's done with you guys, and it's it's I,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm someone wants that stability in my life,
Speaker 3: especially from like from a work perspective and a financial perspective. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And I've seen how hard it is, and I don't
Speaker 3: want to do that. So I would rather have, you know,
Speaker 3: work a normal job and have that financial stability because
Speaker 3: it's something that I need.
Speaker 1: So what what have what did you see? What have
Speaker 1: you seen?
Speaker 3: Well? I, you know, especially living in America, when I
Speaker 3: saw you know, you guys really really struggling. I didn't
Speaker 3: really understand what it was, what that was at the time,
Speaker 3: but you know, we've obviously we've talked about it since then,
Speaker 3: and I've I know what that was, what that came from,
Speaker 3: and that kind of thing, and I, you know, you've
Speaker 3: you've since told us how hard you were working and
Speaker 3: what you were doing, because your work was just it
Speaker 3: just wasn't there.
Speaker 1: And yeah, transparently, I do not want that.
Speaker 2: Yeah it's awesome. Yeah, it's smart, it's smart. We get
Speaker 2: asked constantly. Are your kids interested in the entertainment industry?
Speaker 2: We get asked that all the time, don't you.
Speaker 1: I do, and I have, And I said if they,
Speaker 1: if they chose to do it, they would all work.
Speaker 1: They would like your singing voice. I know you haven't
Speaker 1: allowed it to get out of the bathroom, but when
Speaker 1: you did, used to sing in the shower and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. You've got a beautiful singing voice. And yeah,
Speaker 1: I was if any three of you wanted to pursue
Speaker 1: a career at the time, no problem. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2: They've also they've all seen the unglamorous side of it
Speaker 2: for sure.
Speaker 1: You saw us go through our through challenges and difficulties
Speaker 1: over there, and you saw us make use of professional
Speaker 1: mental health care through therapists and things like that. And
Speaker 1: here you are. You've chosen a career in psychology. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I studied psychology. Yeah yeah, And is that because you're
Speaker 1: interested in people's welfare? Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 3: But I think I think I you know, I liked
Speaker 3: I liked talking, I like dealing with people, like I
Speaker 3: like to talk to people as much as sometimes I
Speaker 3: I may not seem to like want to talk to
Speaker 3: you guys.
Speaker 2: But that's a completely understandable It's not the family, that's
Speaker 2: not true.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's just something that I that I
Speaker 3: had in the back of my mind that I was like,
Speaker 3: why don't I do it? You guys know, I took
Speaker 3: a break between high school and UNI, and I'd like,
Speaker 3: I didn't really know what I wanted to do, and
Speaker 3: I'd enrolled in a couple of things and then didn't
Speaker 3: want to do it. I remember I wanted I remember Dad,
Speaker 3: we were driving along military road back home and I
Speaker 3: was said, I think I think maybe I want to
Speaker 3: be a teacher, and you said, you go, well, the
Speaker 3: lifestyle that you want is not attainable on a teacher salary,
Speaker 3: So I would I would maybe rethink that one.
Speaker 1: So many ideas are many ways to teach. You and
Speaker 1: your human resources career can do a lot of teaching. Well,
Speaker 1: let's just put some context around that too. In terms
Speaker 1: of you. I mean, you've always loved the finer things
Speaker 1: you've always wanted for sure. Yeah, you were totally right,
Speaker 1: like you were. That's why I didn't do it. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, You've got your older sister who likes to live
Speaker 2: off white.
Speaker 1: Rice and peanut butter and peanut butter.
Speaker 2: Like that's it, and wants to live in a bus
Speaker 2: and has no career aspirations really, and then you are
Speaker 2: so far from that that has And again you've always
Speaker 2: been from a little kid when we would go to
Speaker 2: a store, you would find the most expensive this, that
Speaker 2: or the other, because you knew quality at an early age.
Speaker 2: And that's not changed for you either, which I think
Speaker 2: is awesome.
Speaker 1: No quality over quantity you got.
Speaker 2: You've taught me that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know you've really taught and you're slowly you're
Speaker 3: slowly catching on.
Speaker 1: How's the quantity going, how's that going? How many? How
Speaker 1: many dresses are you to?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 2: It's not about the quantity, honey, It's about the quality.
Speaker 2: The sun tells me.
Speaker 3: All I'm saying is like you spend, you spend the
Speaker 3: big bucks on one thing and that thing last forever. Yeah,
Speaker 3: like pants. I was talking to him about cooking pants.
Speaker 3: I was like, stop buying the cheap nonstick pants, because
Speaker 3: they will you lose their nonstick and you've got to
Speaker 3: chuck them out. Buy a nice cast iceless steel pan
Speaker 3: and you'll have it forever.
Speaker 2: I remember when you came home from your first trip
Speaker 2: to Europe with the leather backpack.
Speaker 1: I was going to say, the leather backpack has to be.
Speaker 2: But I remember when you came came home with that.
Speaker 2: You particularly, Honey, were like you spent how much money
Speaker 2: on a backpack?
Speaker 1: I mean, but the thing was, I had patience with it.
Speaker 1: I was I couldn't believe how much you spent on
Speaker 1: a backpack. For one However, when I was in university,
Speaker 1: a leather salesman came. My three weeks at university, the
Speaker 1: a leather person came and was selling things out of
Speaker 1: the trunk of their car, and one of them was
Speaker 1: a leather Duffel bag, which I bought for eighty bucks.
Speaker 1: And I bought it home and I showed Mum and Dad,
Speaker 1: and Mum was like, you spent how much on that?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, eighty bucks. Where do you get eighty
Speaker 1: dollars from her? How do you know it's crazy? Well,
Speaker 1: I've still got that bag. Forty years later, forty white.
Speaker 1: My mass is terrible, but I still have the leather bag,
Speaker 1: and so I thought, Oll, that's what Rip's going to do.
Speaker 1: You'll still have that leather backpack. And since you were young,
Speaker 1: you've always been authentic. You've always walked to the beat
Speaker 1: of your own drum. You've shown me and just through
Speaker 1: being you, some great lessons in who you are. You've
Speaker 1: been really true to yourself. And it started for me
Speaker 1: when you were about I don't know, as soon as
Speaker 1: you could walk. Really you like the look of Mum's
Speaker 1: high heel shoes and you always got people to walk
Speaker 1: and then you sparkles and your dresses and things like that,
Speaker 1: and it was always you were like, yeap, just just
Speaker 1: do it. And then I camerom you do you remember
Speaker 1: when I came out in a dress.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was Mum's nightgown, lady. Yeah, when the seams
Speaker 3: were splitting down the side, and you were.
Speaker 1: Like, dadda, what are you doing? And I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I've I've been watching you'd wear a dress, so I
Speaker 1: thought I'd better try one. It's really comfy. Yeah.
Speaker 2: You and Lola were in the bath, weren't.
Speaker 3: You, And it didn't it really, it didn't it didn't land,
Speaker 3: I think as well as Dad wanted it to, because
Speaker 3: I think we were just more confused than anything.
Speaker 2: Lovely tells the story. You might remember too. Lola tells it,
Speaker 2: and I remember the sound of the ripping of the seeds.
Speaker 1: Is Dad, Yes, talk about overstuffing a sausage.
Speaker 2: You gave it a good shot.
Speaker 1: Was there another time that I bought the pink and
Speaker 1: black one from the op shop, the hourglass one, because
Speaker 1: that's the one I was thinking about. I'm not really
Speaker 1: having much of a memory about me months, but there
Speaker 1: was a pink and black dress that I that I
Speaker 1: put on once and you were like, dude, duded me,
Speaker 1: and so what are you doing? And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, it's just and it was. I guess it
Speaker 1: was my way of wanting to support who you were,
Speaker 1: because I also remember throwing a ball towards you at
Speaker 1: one point, going here, catch this, and you just hit
Speaker 1: you on the chest and you burst into tears and like,
Speaker 1: what are you throwing that at me? For? I got
Speaker 1: to find another way with you, you know, to that's finding
Speaker 1: your interests. And it took me a while to sort that,
Speaker 1: sort that out. So here you were as a young
Speaker 1: a young boy wanting to wear dresses. Halloween, you dressed
Speaker 1: up as princesses, and we might talk about a moment
Speaker 1: which was hugely teachable for me in your school playground
Speaker 1: and delivering you to school in your princess dress. But
Speaker 1: so it wasn't whether you were gay, straight, or or
Speaker 1: any of those sort of things. At what point did
Speaker 1: you realize that you were gay? Because it wasn't It
Speaker 1: could have gone anyway.
Speaker 2: At that point about dresses that made him gay or
Speaker 2: may not made him gay, But yeah, that wasn't the
Speaker 2: clue or anything.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I don't actually remember, like there's never like
Speaker 3: a penny drop moment for me, Like I can't ever
Speaker 3: remember being like, oh, yeah, that's it, that's that's what like,
Speaker 3: that's what's happening. But like, yeah, it was. It's just
Speaker 3: like this. It was just like a weird gradual progression
Speaker 3: where I was like.
Speaker 1: And do I liked it? Maybe? And then I was
Speaker 1: like okay, And then.
Speaker 3: I think probably like the transition between year like year
Speaker 3: eight and year nine is when it was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I not not into girls at all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and did you find yourself were you attracted to
Speaker 2: a guy? And is that or you just knew you
Speaker 2: were no two girls.
Speaker 3: I just knew I didn't really like I wasn't attracted
Speaker 3: to women at all. Yeah, yeah, like there wasn't. There
Speaker 3: wasn't any men that I would see like obviously, yeah,
Speaker 3: you see them on the street and you're like, oh,
Speaker 3: that's a good looking guy.
Speaker 1: But it's never like that.
Speaker 3: I can't remember a singular guy that was like gay awakening,
Speaker 3: that kind of thing.
Speaker 2: Gay awakening. Oh, I've not heard that time. Have there
Speaker 2: been any challenges that you have faced since then with
Speaker 2: your sexuality?
Speaker 1: No, I don't think so.
Speaker 3: I was. I feel like I got super super lucky,
Speaker 3: like there was never you know, my friend, I feel
Speaker 3: like all my friends in America at least knew well
Speaker 3: before I did that I didn't like girls, and I
Speaker 3: think that's why they they were.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think back, and I'm like, I was having sleepovers
Speaker 3: with girls when I was like what eight or nine, Yes,
Speaker 3: like my best friend from like two years old, Like,
Speaker 3: they're all females, so and I think their parents obviously
Speaker 3: were like, Okay, this is clearly there's no no issues
Speaker 3: here whatsoever. And I remember one of my best friends
Speaker 3: actually she was having Sophia I was having it was
Speaker 3: you know how she used to have her big summer
Speaker 3: birthday party in August and I remember one year we
Speaker 3: usually what would happen is like boys would go home
Speaker 3: and the girls would get to sleep over. And I
Speaker 3: remember Kathy Kat Sophia's mum pulled me aside and she
Speaker 3: was like, do you want to sleep over? Do you
Speaker 3: want to spend the night. Yeah, And I was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I want to spend the night. And it was so
Speaker 3: much fun because like that was I was like got
Speaker 3: to say and I was like the only guy that
Speaker 3: was there, and it was that was before I came out,
Speaker 3: so it was like everyone knew, Like it wasn't a
Speaker 3: shock to anyone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and high school was yeah, high school was fine.
Speaker 1: And yeah there was no no.
Speaker 3: I never had anyone outwardly say anything to me, not
Speaker 3: even not even in not even here, not even in Australia.
Speaker 3: Like it was very easy. I think I just got lucky.
Speaker 1: There was that moment, as I alluded to before, in
Speaker 1: the playground, you across the playground to deliver you to class.
Speaker 1: You were probably in about maybe second or third grade
Speaker 1: at school, and you were dressed as Rapunzel in this
Speaker 1: resplendent sort of a white gown and blonde hair, and
Speaker 1: you and I was holding your hand and you had
Speaker 1: your lunch pale and we're walking across and then that
Speaker 1: boy called out from a second you're dressed like that girl.
Speaker 1: And I remember feeling this fury and as I grabbed
Speaker 1: you and and I looked at you, and you and
Speaker 1: you just looked up and just cut you stopped for
Speaker 1: a second to see who it was. And then it
Speaker 1: was like you've raised your hand or your wand and
Speaker 1: just went like that and kept walking. It didn't it
Speaker 1: seemed to roll. It just didn't seem to hit you
Speaker 1: at alls, like, yeah, but he was dressed.
Speaker 2: As a girl.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: Yeah so, but it.
Speaker 1: Was such a it was a moment high. Well the
Speaker 1: guy wasn't saying it as a compliment, it was right.
Speaker 2: That was a tone.
Speaker 1: There was a definite tone.
Speaker 2: That eight year old had a tone to his voice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's older than that. He was like a sixth
Speaker 1: grader should have known better yelling at a little kid
Speaker 1: walking through the thing. And I'm still mad at him now,
Speaker 1: But it was the way you took it, and it
Speaker 1: was who you were, and I just thought you know,
Speaker 1: and I looked at it and walked away and just went, Wow,
Speaker 1: he's what a kid. You know, He's just doing He's
Speaker 1: just doing what he does. So you said between eight
Speaker 1: and nine that you kind of had that recognition with
Speaker 1: yourself that you weren't into girls. It took a little
Speaker 1: while longer than that for you to come out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and when you came out to us, there were a
Speaker 1: lot of tears for you. I didn't you asked me, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you asked me. Okay, So how was that for you
Speaker 1: that moment, although that leading up to that, and how
Speaker 1: was it through that and how did you feel once
Speaker 1: the cat was out of the bags? Weird?
Speaker 3: It was weird because I felt like you have like
Speaker 3: this it's and it wasn't even that like I didn't
Speaker 3: think you guys were going to accept it or anything
Speaker 3: like that. It just I just didn't feel like ready,
Speaker 3: Like I was like, I don't really want I don't
Speaker 3: know how to have this conversation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know how to like initiate it. I think.
Speaker 3: So probably it was a good thing that you guys
Speaker 3: did ask, because it probably would have taken a lot
Speaker 3: longer for me to say anything. Anyways, But yeah, I
Speaker 3: know that day was that was a crap day. That
Speaker 3: was a bad day because yeah, I remember, i'd like,
Speaker 3: you didn't like the group of friends that I was with.
Speaker 3: They knew i'd come out to them, and then you guys,
Speaker 3: I had. They had set me up on the apps
Speaker 3: and then I remember that the apps was connected to
Speaker 3: my old iPad that I'd given to body and Bodie
Speaker 3: was getting messages and it was just like it was.
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 3: It was a messy, messy days. I remember I was
Speaker 3: supposed to have dinner with those group of friends and
Speaker 3: I we were on a walking down the street and
Speaker 3: Dad's car pulls up when I was like oh, I
Speaker 3: was like, Dad, you're early, and he's like, no, I'm
Speaker 3: here to pick you up. Yeah, silence on the way home.
Speaker 3: And then it wasn't until later on that you kind
Speaker 3: of said that you knew everything and asked me, and yeah,
Speaker 3: I remember crying. I think I said sorry. I said
Speaker 3: sorry to you guys. I apologize. So that was probably, yeah,
Speaker 3: a little bit of shame hidden down in there for sure, Yeah,
Speaker 3: because I don't know why else I would have apologized
Speaker 3: for it. But you feel, you feel so much better
Speaker 3: once you once you actually come out, I think.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there was so much around that time, Like there
Speaker 2: was a lot of there was a lot of hiding
Speaker 2: of other things that was happening. Yeah, so we were
Speaker 2: really like, what is happening yeah to rib like and
Speaker 2: it was yeah, that group of friends that were kind
Speaker 2: of a new group of friends were just getting into
Speaker 2: some stuff that was really illegal and like not great,
Speaker 2: and that was what we were concerned with. And then
Speaker 2: that question just came out, and it was heartbreaking to
Speaker 2: hear your apology. It still breaks my heart that there
Speaker 2: was that you still that you felt the need to
Speaker 2: say sorry, because that was something that I felt like
Speaker 2: I'd really wanted you to know that, And even just
Speaker 2: the fact that we asked you, Like some days I
Speaker 2: just go there was no need to come out, there's
Speaker 2: no need to ask the question, you know. We just
Speaker 2: wondered if there was something connected to that that was
Speaker 2: causing the distress in your life, because you hadn't sort
Speaker 2: of said, look, yeah I am gay. So that was
Speaker 2: why that question came out the way it did. But
Speaker 2: I know, like I feel like a lot of things
Speaker 2: changed after that. I feel like it did kind of
Speaker 2: relieve break the tension you sort of got back with
Speaker 2: your old friends and sort of Yeah, there was like
Speaker 2: this sort of ease after from our perspective anyway.
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely, yeah, yeah, for sure, I think that that
Speaker 3: definitely happened.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: When I told you, you were like, oh, we've known
Speaker 3: since you were two. Yeah, yeah, that was that was
Speaker 3: what I Yeah. Yeah, yeah, well when we thought we knew.
Speaker 3: For me, there was a question.
Speaker 1: Then I you know, I've tried so hard to get
Speaker 1: you into buraking for the Moti Bombers and be part
Speaker 1: of footy and stuff, and to find ways to connect
Speaker 1: with you, and whether that be as we've you know,
Speaker 1: cooking or the doll dressmaking or whatever it was that
Speaker 1: all those things that you were you were into and
Speaker 1: the question I would say, I wonder if he's her gay?
Speaker 1: Is he not going al? And I Mum and I
Speaker 1: would talk about it, and then it became it doesn't matter,
Speaker 1: does it matter if he is or not? And then
Speaker 1: I remember Lotus came to me, probably maybe a year
Speaker 1: or so before you'd finally come out, and she said, Dad,
Speaker 1: well she goes he's not gay. Oh, he's not gay.
Speaker 1: And I said, what do you mean he's not gay?
Speaker 1: She said, well, he left his diary, you know, in
Speaker 1: my room, and I read it, and the stuff that
Speaker 1: he's writing about that, he's not gad she read it.
Speaker 3: She was young too, well, she knew better than to
Speaker 3: read someone's diary. Well wherever it will just say she
Speaker 3: knew about her. I'm going to text her after that.
Speaker 2: That's true. You better talking to her about that.
Speaker 1: I am true, I am sure about it. But she said,
Speaker 1: maybe maybe you didn't read that. She just said what
Speaker 1: I read what he wrote about so and so, huh,
Speaker 1: and whether it was maybe I'm elaborating on the diary issue.
Speaker 3: She's still a sneak. But that's fine.
Speaker 1: As I said earlier, you know, you've been wearing high
Speaker 1: heels and dresses since you could walk and dress yourself,
Speaker 1: aside from wearing t shirts back to front and inside
Speaker 1: out with no tags and any labeling them for a
Speaker 1: number of years. Are you still doing things like that?
Speaker 1: Do you still have any kind of dressing ticks that?
Speaker 3: Like, you know, I've had. I've had to get over them.
Speaker 3: I know I had, like I had a lot of
Speaker 3: sensory issues as a child, especially with clothes, Like I
Speaker 3: didn't like tags every like I could not have a
Speaker 3: T shirt with like a tag on it, it had to
Speaker 3: be a print like printed on the fabric.
Speaker 2: YEP.
Speaker 1: I didn't like busy colors.
Speaker 3: Busy colors all buttons, which I yeah, buttons. I've had
Speaker 3: to get over buttons, Like I'm fine with the buttons now.
Speaker 3: I think majority of my clothes have buttons button down. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but you know, I definitely had issues, But I think
Speaker 3: that just you just you grow out of it.
Speaker 2: Is there anything about the experience of of of sort
Speaker 2: of being gay or whatever that has looked like for
Speaker 2: you and coming out that you wish you had have
Speaker 2: done differently or you had have known earlier that would
Speaker 2: have helped you in some way.
Speaker 3: No, I don't think so. I think it happened the
Speaker 3: way it happened, and like, oh, I don't. I don't
Speaker 3: see any reason why I would want to change it
Speaker 3: that way.
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't.
Speaker 3: I don't look back on it and go, oh, I
Speaker 3: wish I'd done that sooner, or I wish I'd done
Speaker 3: it on my own, you know, on my own accord
Speaker 3: that kind of thing. I don't really, It's just not
Speaker 3: something that I think about anymore at all.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, it.
Speaker 1: Is what it is.
Speaker 3: I think it's been It's so normal now, like no one,
Speaker 3: no one really comes out anymore.
Speaker 2: Really, Like that's right.
Speaker 1: It's just this, It's just a normal thing that people
Speaker 1: people do. You have always had a great perspective on
Speaker 1: life and I can't wait for you to be a
Speaker 1: dad to see how you go about being a father.
Speaker 1: Is there anything that we can avoid? Well, this is
Speaker 1: for parents of teenagers. Anything that we can avoid saying
Speaker 1: or doing to our teens that might unintentionally hurt or
Speaker 1: alienate them. Is there is there things that we can
Speaker 1: pay attention to as parents with kids with teenagers. You've
Speaker 1: always had a great perspective on how to speak to people.
Speaker 1: And you see truth. I mean, your middle name is
Speaker 1: True and that, to me is exactly who you are.
Speaker 1: You've always river true, You've always taken the path of
Speaker 1: least resistance, and you see the truth. You know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think just let them do their thing.
Speaker 3: Just don't push within reason obviously, Like there's times where
Speaker 3: you guys have had to corral all three of us
Speaker 3: at some points and we've started to kind of go
Speaker 3: down that are not the best.
Speaker 1: But I think just yeah, just let them, just let.
Speaker 3: Them figure it out. On their own because they like
Speaker 3: everyone does. Yeah, yeah, some people just take longer to
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 1: It is what it is.
Speaker 3: Like, just don't push it, I think, don't try and
Speaker 3: force it because it's just not going to end up well.
Speaker 2: Like the river you even when you like it wasn't
Speaker 2: long after you know, you came out. I know i'd
Speaker 2: so keep on cringing slightly at that time, but you
Speaker 2: were very clear that you wanted still want it to
Speaker 2: be a dad and you knew that it was going
Speaker 2: to be like, yep, we'll do a child from me
Speaker 2: and a child from my husband. And what is it
Speaker 2: about being a father that you're looking forward to?
Speaker 1: I think doing things the way I want to do
Speaker 1: it as the dad. Yeah, I think what would you do, Robert? You?
Speaker 3: I can't think of anything you know extremely differently that
Speaker 3: you guys would have done that. I go absolutely not,
Speaker 3: but in it, like I think, yeah, just getting to
Speaker 3: getting to shape a person is something that you know,
Speaker 3: it's an exciting idea. Like I think, yeah, I think
Speaker 3: that's it. That's pretty cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, from out from your childhood, is there any favorite
Speaker 2: family traditions that you look back on fondly?
Speaker 3: I feel like we don't have. I mean, I think
Speaker 3: we were. I feel like we're quite a non traditional
Speaker 3: family in a lot of ways. Yeah, I think so,
Speaker 3: But I think I think we have like the things
Speaker 3: that we do every year, like you know, Christmas time,
Speaker 3: I think is a great one, Like we're always we're
Speaker 3: usually always together on Christmas and you do your your
Speaker 3: big Mumma's breakfast and that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: That's always a fun one.
Speaker 3: But I think there was a the tradition that died, thankfully,
Speaker 3: was your Nutcracker tradition where you would take us to
Speaker 3: the Nutcracker every single Christmas.
Speaker 1: I'm with you on that one. I think the last one.
Speaker 3: The last one we left, I think halfway through and
Speaker 3: we walked past the bout like the main the main
Speaker 3: Ballerina's mother as we left, and she was not happy.
Speaker 2: I know, wait, do you have kids, I'll start the tradition,
Speaker 2: don't worry. What's the I know this is a weird question,
Speaker 2: but I love it. What's the strangest thing that you
Speaker 2: believed as a child.
Speaker 1: That sex was cake? Wait?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: Yes, I used to think that sex was like a
Speaker 1: Kate was cake. We need to talk.
Speaker 2: So when people said, oh I had great sex, you
Speaker 2: thought people were.
Speaker 1: I thought it was like kind of yeah food, Well
Speaker 1: some people would. I think some people would. Actually it
Speaker 1: was just like you. I didn't.
Speaker 3: I didn't like have a that was like very a
Speaker 3: very very young. And then it was explained to me
Speaker 3: probably I think eight or nine probably, I think, yeah,
Speaker 3: I probably got a better idea of what it actually was.
Speaker 1: So you can have your cake and eat it.
Speaker 2: I mean imagine if you had to come home and said, Mom,
Speaker 2: can I have some sex?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: We'll be like what, like, can you make some sense?
Speaker 2: There were so many things that could have happened there
Speaker 2: with oh wow.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. I'm wondering if that's a parental thing.
Speaker 3: Or did that.
Speaker 1: But you became so good at making cake, yes, and
Speaker 1: your horseshoe pastry and sour.
Speaker 2: Dough yeah, I mean wow, it's a baker.
Speaker 1: You are a baker. You you like your sex a lot.
Speaker 2: My god. We did actually think for a long time
Speaker 2: you were going to be a baker. That would be
Speaker 2: your profession, Like yes today yeah, because you're so so
Speaker 2: naturally good at it. Hey, Dad and I have since
Speaker 2: we've come back to Australia and started the podcast podcast.
Speaker 1: It's a bit stinky. Sometimes, let's face it, this one's not.
Speaker 2: This is great, great stuff. Haven't since we've started so
Speaker 2: much cake, since we've started this podcast. You know, Dad
Speaker 2: and I have been very open about our relationship and
Speaker 2: lives and what have you. How has that been for you?
Speaker 2: Has that been in any way challenging?
Speaker 3: No, because I don't try. I try not to actually
Speaker 3: listen to a lot of it. Yeah, because it's just
Speaker 3: something that I don't I don't think I need to
Speaker 3: know every single detail, and I don't want to know
Speaker 3: every single detail. I think it's like sometimes you guys
Speaker 3: have tried to, you know, if if something is coming out,
Speaker 3: you know, a book or or an article or something
Speaker 3: that you may know is has something that I don't
Speaker 3: know yet. I know that you guys have in the
Speaker 3: past sat me down and said, hey, this is coming
Speaker 3: this is just a heads up, which is always severely.
Speaker 1: Uncomfortable for me, and I don't like to hear it.
Speaker 1: What about when I hit you up for the with
Speaker 1: my book that's coming out and the bit.
Speaker 3: Back, Well, yeah, if that because that concerns me, that's right.
Speaker 3: If it's just about you or something that's happened in
Speaker 3: your personal life that it's unlike I. You know, that
Speaker 3: is something that I don't need to know. But I
Speaker 3: get why you guys have done it because you don't
Speaker 3: want me to find out through through other ways, because
Speaker 3: I know that stuff has been published in the past
Speaker 3: where you know it has you know, been a bit
Speaker 3: of a blind side too, at least Lolo and I
Speaker 3: because we've we've read it and we've heard it and
Speaker 3: stuff like that.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's not not one of not my favorite.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get it fair enough.
Speaker 1: I get it fair enough. Hey, listen, we do a
Speaker 1: thing called the the two minute shower. Do you know
Speaker 1: about this? No, Remember, he doesn't list I'm going to
Speaker 1: sit you down and talk to you about this, and
Speaker 1: it's going to be really cringey, really cringey roofs.
Speaker 2: That's short. It's a very short, very short.
Speaker 1: You know how much you like your showers. It's steal
Speaker 1: fourteen towels and collect them in your room. How are
Speaker 1: you dealing with that now now that you're out of
Speaker 1: the house and you don't have fourteen towels, or maybe
Speaker 1: you do to choose from, we have a lot of towels.
Speaker 1: Do you have a lot of towels?
Speaker 3: Because we steal them from the gym.
Speaker 2: We're not gonna name me the gym Nodas. Yeah, that's
Speaker 2: always be known for Like father, like son.
Speaker 1: Let's go. If you could relive, you have to spend
Speaker 1: a lot of time on these answers. If you could
Speaker 1: relive one day, what would it be?
Speaker 3: Probably a day that I had in Europe in summer.
Speaker 3: Nice pos, beat the beach club.
Speaker 2: Yeah. What the world needs more of is.
Speaker 3: Lightheartedness. People are far too serious. They take things way
Speaker 3: too seriously. Yeah, get over it.
Speaker 2: Yep to you.
Speaker 1: It's so good, Thanks so much for coming in.
Speaker 2: Ok.
Speaker 1: We spoke to We spoke to Richard Wilkins and Christian
Speaker 1: his son the other day and it was so it
Speaker 1: was so lovely watching a father and a son just
Speaker 1: hanging out, and I got to say I felt like
Speaker 1: that with you today. It's really nice. And mum's been
Speaker 1: here too, so that's been she's been around. Is there?
Speaker 1: And is there any way that I can sway you
Speaker 1: to barracking for Essendon? We need another supporter? No, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to finish this on a no. Will
Speaker 1: you come for dinner on Sunday night? Yeah? Sure day?
Speaker 2: Love that.
Speaker 1: Thanks for v Thanks so much for coming. Honey, that's okay,
Speaker 1: thanks for having me, Thanks your time.
Speaker 3: So we have.
Speaker 2: Right, Rev's left the bathroom. He's a funny dude.
Speaker 1: He's a funny dude.
Speaker 2: I love him.
Speaker 1: He's a pretty straight shooter, isn't he.
Speaker 2: He's such a straight shooter, like like like no nonsense
Speaker 2: until he until he's not, and then he's as funny
Speaker 2: as hell. He's given us some big old laughs in
Speaker 2: our in our time.
Speaker 1: Yeah. He's a good fellow, and he's brave and kind. Yes,
Speaker 1: and I'm proud of our number one son, number one son.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, we hope that you've enjoyed getting to
Speaker 2: know our number one son a little bit more. We've
Speaker 2: learned a few things about it ourselves.
Speaker 1: Indeed, I'm thinking about food now more whole different ways.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure. Thanks so much for listening.