1 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,281 Speaker 1: Approche production. 2 00:00:16,601 --> 00:00:18,800 Speaker 2: I was up to a good another time, and I 3 00:00:18,841 --> 00:00:20,281 Speaker 2: was on a plane going to Perth, and I was 4 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:23,241 Speaker 2: reading a book called Sleepers and they end up making 5 00:00:23,241 --> 00:00:25,241 Speaker 2: a movie with Kevin Bacon, and that about about these 6 00:00:25,721 --> 00:00:28,841 Speaker 2: kids in an orphanage and they got abused and then 7 00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:31,281 Speaker 2: they go on one end. One ends up being a 8 00:00:31,361 --> 00:00:34,001 Speaker 2: hitman and one ends up being an attorney, and then 9 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,921 Speaker 2: they square up and these priests do and this and 10 00:00:36,961 --> 00:00:39,881 Speaker 2: this Blake had been me, why are you reading that for? 11 00:00:40,001 --> 00:00:42,961 Speaker 2: I said, And to this day, I don't know why. 12 00:00:42,961 --> 00:00:44,801 Speaker 2: I said. I said, it's a bit about my life 13 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:45,921 Speaker 2: store and he said, what do you mean, a bit 14 00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:48,361 Speaker 2: about your losses? I'm I'm on a plane going on 15 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,321 Speaker 2: a four hour planet flight going to Perth. And I 16 00:00:50,361 --> 00:00:52,560 Speaker 2: turn around, said an abuse survivor myself, and you know, 17 00:00:53,441 --> 00:00:54,961 Speaker 2: and he said yeah. And he told me about the 18 00:00:55,001 --> 00:00:58,841 Speaker 2: Royal Commission Commission into institution responses to child sexual abuse 19 00:00:59,801 --> 00:01:02,081 Speaker 2: and he said, maybe you should talk to them, and 20 00:01:02,121 --> 00:01:03,801 Speaker 2: I said, what's this all about? And he sat there 21 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,041 Speaker 2: for about an hour telling me about So. 22 00:01:06,081 --> 00:01:07,721 Speaker 3: This is like, if you put it into a bit 23 00:01:07,761 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 3: of a sort of a perspective, it's almost like you 24 00:01:10,681 --> 00:01:12,321 Speaker 3: were led to be there speaking of his plate. 25 00:01:12,481 --> 00:01:14,041 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was up to know good too, you 26 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:15,681 Speaker 2: know what I mean? And no one normally when you're 27 00:01:15,721 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 2: up to no good, when you're on a plane flight 28 00:01:17,241 --> 00:01:20,161 Speaker 2: over there, I'm not talking to no one and I 29 00:01:20,161 --> 00:01:21,321 Speaker 2: don't know it, just blurted it out. 30 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,121 Speaker 4: I want to leave an imprinting. Anyone's more than you 31 00:01:23,121 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 4: were over there? 32 00:01:23,721 --> 00:01:26,881 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm sitting there, And after I said it, 33 00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:29,761 Speaker 2: I was just sort of like numb sort of thing. 34 00:01:29,801 --> 00:01:32,121 Speaker 2: What I fucking just say that to this bloke? You know? 35 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 2: Why did I do that? You know? And then he 36 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,761 Speaker 2: rambled on about the Royal Commission. And the funny thing is, 37 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,321 Speaker 2: you know what happened is I was just a bit rattled, 38 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,961 Speaker 2: still back on the drugs, just doing doing bits and 39 00:01:41,961 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 2: pieces to get by. And then I got pinched up 40 00:01:45,681 --> 00:01:47,561 Speaker 2: here in cooland Gatto. I came out of the same 41 00:01:47,601 --> 00:01:51,001 Speaker 2: court met way. I just robbed the bank, and I'm 42 00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:53,241 Speaker 2: getting chased by all these super citizens. One bloke had 43 00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:54,641 Speaker 2: no he is that had been cut off by and 44 00:01:54,721 --> 00:01:57,761 Speaker 2: to tour his bike. He up this way. Yes, he 45 00:01:57,841 --> 00:02:00,201 Speaker 2: don't tell me he was your fucking he came. He 46 00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:01,081 Speaker 2: captured me. 47 00:02:03,801 --> 00:02:07,201 Speaker 3: Anyway, I vaguely remember reading a story about this. 48 00:02:09,401 --> 00:02:11,921 Speaker 2: But he punched my head in and he told me 49 00:02:11,921 --> 00:02:15,361 Speaker 2: he just saved my life. And he said to me, 50 00:02:15,441 --> 00:02:18,081 Speaker 2: he said, you know, he said, mate, he goes he's 51 00:02:18,121 --> 00:02:20,521 Speaker 2: doing my cramee with my legs and arms up my back. 52 00:02:20,561 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 3: And he obviously hated people because of his own experience that. 53 00:02:24,121 --> 00:02:33,481 Speaker 2: I dare say, yeah, outlaw, you might say anyway, but anyway, 54 00:02:33,481 --> 00:02:37,401 Speaker 2: he punched my face and then yeah, he done this. 55 00:02:37,481 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 2: And he's saying to me, he's telling him me a 56 00:02:39,361 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 2: big story about God and the ring like that. And 57 00:02:41,041 --> 00:02:42,361 Speaker 2: I said, if you're selling the God, why are you 58 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,481 Speaker 2: fucking jumping on my head? He's got telling you to 59 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:51,681 Speaker 2: do it man. Anyway, you know, and the less right, 60 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,921 Speaker 2: you know, mate? It was. I was horrified. And then 61 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:56,840 Speaker 2: I went to Cool and got a police station and 62 00:02:56,881 --> 00:03:00,321 Speaker 2: they moved me up to Southport. All the trophy hundred 63 00:03:00,321 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 2: coppers come in, you know, because they've never seen a 64 00:03:02,281 --> 00:03:04,761 Speaker 2: bank rubber before. All these young ones had never seen 65 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,441 Speaker 2: a bank robbed before. And I was like a captured 66 00:03:07,441 --> 00:03:09,721 Speaker 2: white rhino or a Tasmanian tiger. And they all opened 67 00:03:09,761 --> 00:03:13,081 Speaker 2: in the window and they called me in and they said, 68 00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:16,041 Speaker 2: maybe would you do a record of interview, and I said, listen, mate, 69 00:03:16,041 --> 00:03:18,041 Speaker 2: I haven't seen someone mom walk back into prison going 70 00:03:18,081 --> 00:03:19,761 Speaker 2: fucking a record of interview is the best thing over 71 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,681 Speaker 2: did you know my old school And I don't do 72 00:03:22,761 --> 00:03:25,601 Speaker 2: record any I don't talk to them, but they just 73 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,761 Speaker 2: kept on dragging me out. And there was coppers coming 74 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,841 Speaker 2: up from Melbourne and I was just because what happens 75 00:03:30,921 --> 00:03:32,761 Speaker 2: is them coppers they get like if they can say 76 00:03:32,761 --> 00:03:34,361 Speaker 2: we're going to we're going to the gold case to 77 00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,561 Speaker 2: question someone. And I knew what the rule was, you 78 00:03:36,561 --> 00:03:38,881 Speaker 2: know what I mean, all of a sudden being profiled. 79 00:03:38,961 --> 00:03:41,521 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's that's what it comes down to. The 80 00:03:41,761 --> 00:03:43,001 Speaker 4: robbery squad's all around. 81 00:03:43,161 --> 00:03:46,961 Speaker 3: Yeah, start looking at habitual offenders, especially habiture the bank robbers. 82 00:03:47,321 --> 00:03:49,921 Speaker 3: Many of them, it's like, you know, thieves that they 83 00:03:49,921 --> 00:03:51,681 Speaker 3: have a certain way or a style that they do 84 00:03:51,801 --> 00:03:55,361 Speaker 3: things and it becomes a bit of a habit. And 85 00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:57,761 Speaker 3: I mean we're all creatures of habit. Yeah, And this 86 00:03:57,801 --> 00:03:58,681 Speaker 3: is how a lot of them come. 87 00:03:58,641 --> 00:04:00,481 Speaker 2: Underne And they all wanted a piece of me. And 88 00:04:00,881 --> 00:04:03,361 Speaker 2: you know, I'll be honest with you, I'd had an ask, 89 00:04:03,441 --> 00:04:06,281 Speaker 2: you know, And I got two young kids that were 90 00:04:06,281 --> 00:04:08,201 Speaker 2: growing up in the Gold coast without a father, and 91 00:04:08,241 --> 00:04:10,761 Speaker 2: all of the guilt that was attached with the abuse 92 00:04:10,801 --> 00:04:13,401 Speaker 2: itself and all this stuff just got them and and 93 00:04:13,641 --> 00:04:15,001 Speaker 2: I just said, I'm going to the neck. When I 94 00:04:15,041 --> 00:04:17,081 Speaker 2: get the nick, I'm going to knock myself. And I 95 00:04:17,081 --> 00:04:18,881 Speaker 2: had to plan out and get the coaxial cable off 96 00:04:18,921 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 2: the TV, hang that up and away I'll go, you know. 97 00:04:23,481 --> 00:04:26,161 Speaker 2: And so I eventually got to Arthur Gory in Brisbane 98 00:04:26,201 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 2: and wake Hole and Brisbane. And the first night I 99 00:04:28,721 --> 00:04:32,241 Speaker 2: was there, the co acksl cable wouldn't have fit around 100 00:04:32,241 --> 00:04:34,561 Speaker 2: my small toe because someone had just cut it the 101 00:04:34,561 --> 00:04:35,521 Speaker 2: pieces and that sort of thing. 102 00:04:35,601 --> 00:04:37,521 Speaker 3: So I leave us back then too, they'd cut them 103 00:04:37,561 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 3: and just pull the wire through because the plugs on 104 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,401 Speaker 3: each end were always used for something. 105 00:04:41,121 --> 00:04:43,681 Speaker 2: Else as well, and bungers and that that's right, a. 106 00:04:43,641 --> 00:04:45,281 Speaker 4: Little cop of wine and then you'd spark it up 107 00:04:45,281 --> 00:04:45,481 Speaker 4: with it. 108 00:04:45,561 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, well it wasn't. And then the next day a 109 00:04:48,561 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 2: bloke who he come to my own is like like 110 00:04:52,121 --> 00:04:54,840 Speaker 2: a ten inch high window by about three inches wide 111 00:04:55,121 --> 00:04:58,001 Speaker 2: window in the door of your cell. And he came 112 00:04:58,041 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 2: up as a blake I never liked before, you know, 113 00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:01,801 Speaker 2: And he said to me, and I suspected he was 114 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,241 Speaker 2: a sex offender, and I later out he denied it, 115 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,921 Speaker 2: but it later came out and watch that he was. 116 00:05:06,401 --> 00:05:08,041 Speaker 2: So he came up to me and goes, may I no, man, 117 00:05:08,081 --> 00:05:11,080 Speaker 2: you've never seen an idle eye, he said. But made 118 00:05:11,081 --> 00:05:12,481 Speaker 2: I know you're a bit crook. He said, you're not 119 00:05:12,481 --> 00:05:14,561 Speaker 2: feeling too well, and that this dirty old syringe there. 120 00:05:14,641 --> 00:05:16,361 Speaker 2: So you were hanging out, Yeah, I was hanging out. 121 00:05:16,401 --> 00:05:17,880 Speaker 2: I came out. It wasn't in a good way, you know, 122 00:05:18,081 --> 00:05:20,801 Speaker 2: coming with a habit. Yeah, And i'd come out and 123 00:05:21,361 --> 00:05:23,201 Speaker 2: he said to me, he said, mate, I'll give you 124 00:05:23,241 --> 00:05:26,521 Speaker 2: a shot. And I fucking leaned up against the window 125 00:05:26,521 --> 00:05:29,801 Speaker 2: and I said, no matter how fucking low I felt 126 00:05:29,801 --> 00:05:33,481 Speaker 2: about myself, how bad I overfelt against about myself, I 127 00:05:33,521 --> 00:05:36,681 Speaker 2: could never take anything from you. You've got nothing offer 128 00:05:36,761 --> 00:05:38,401 Speaker 2: me in this life. I said, you are a piece 129 00:05:38,401 --> 00:05:40,880 Speaker 2: of shit, scum, fucking dog you are. You're just a 130 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:42,961 Speaker 2: piece of shit. You're a scum, You're a fucking dog. 131 00:05:43,281 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 2: I don't fucking trust you. I don't like you. And 132 00:05:45,801 --> 00:05:47,841 Speaker 2: I said, now fuck off, don't come to me. And 133 00:05:47,841 --> 00:05:49,681 Speaker 2: then the cell door came open and I could see 134 00:05:49,721 --> 00:05:52,401 Speaker 2: him in his little posse of people bloody and they're 135 00:05:52,401 --> 00:05:53,721 Speaker 2: talking to me. I couldn't give a fuck, And I 136 00:05:53,801 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 2: just said, mate, you're going to stick up for that 137 00:05:55,241 --> 00:05:57,161 Speaker 2: fucking grub, I said, I five years Oh, I said, 138 00:05:57,161 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 2: you know. But then there was a young blake there 139 00:05:59,761 --> 00:06:01,401 Speaker 2: and he had all these books out, you know, and 140 00:06:01,481 --> 00:06:03,681 Speaker 2: he studied. And I said, what are you doing, man? 141 00:06:03,721 --> 00:06:05,521 Speaker 2: He said, I'm doing a psych degree. He used to 142 00:06:05,521 --> 00:06:07,361 Speaker 2: tell me about studying. That's the way out of here. 143 00:06:07,361 --> 00:06:09,481 Speaker 2: And he's had to took your advice. He said, maybe 144 00:06:09,521 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 2: she'd take some of your own, you know. 145 00:06:11,041 --> 00:06:12,841 Speaker 4: So this is coming back around in the full sir. 146 00:06:13,001 --> 00:06:16,081 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and this young fella. And by the end 147 00:06:16,121 --> 00:06:18,801 Speaker 2: of that day, there was a few things I was 148 00:06:18,841 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 2: liking about myself, and the fact that, you know, I 149 00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,721 Speaker 2: had morals, you know, I weren't going to take no 150 00:06:23,721 --> 00:06:26,721 Speaker 2: matter how bad fucking things were, I weren't going to 151 00:06:27,481 --> 00:06:30,601 Speaker 2: I weren't going to, you know, accept any hint from 152 00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 2: a person like that, you know. And I had a 153 00:06:33,401 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 2: bit of a goal. I thought, you know, well, if 154 00:06:34,641 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 2: I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right, 155 00:06:36,121 --> 00:06:36,281 Speaker 2: you know. 156 00:06:36,361 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 4: And so what year was this, two thousand and six? 157 00:06:38,601 --> 00:06:38,841 Speaker 4: Was it? 158 00:06:39,001 --> 00:06:39,161 Speaker 1: Oh? 159 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:40,681 Speaker 2: No, no, would have been a bit later than that. 160 00:06:40,721 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 2: I think it was twenty fourteen, two thousand and fifteen. 161 00:06:42,921 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 2: I spoke the Royal Commission for the first time. In 162 00:06:44,641 --> 00:06:48,121 Speaker 2: twenty fifteen. Yeah, I just decided. I said, you're just 163 00:06:48,121 --> 00:06:50,520 Speaker 2: going to one more crack at this life, and you 164 00:06:50,561 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 2: know if I don't get it right now, because I 165 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,601 Speaker 2: just thought, you know, pinched on a bank and I 166 00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:56,481 Speaker 2: knew the New South Wales coppers wanted me for a 167 00:06:56,521 --> 00:07:00,561 Speaker 2: few others and I've been involved in a few close calls. 168 00:07:00,641 --> 00:07:02,201 Speaker 2: That's that's why I ended up in Queensland. 169 00:07:02,201 --> 00:07:03,561 Speaker 4: So you were looking at a big whack again. 170 00:07:03,601 --> 00:07:06,321 Speaker 2: You half your life. I would have been getting out 171 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,241 Speaker 2: when I was close to sixty. And what happened was, 172 00:07:09,401 --> 00:07:11,081 Speaker 2: I'll sit down and I was watching the seven thirty 173 00:07:11,081 --> 00:07:13,441 Speaker 2: report on ABC and it come up about the Royal Commission, 174 00:07:14,441 --> 00:07:18,081 Speaker 2: and you know, I just I pumped out a little 175 00:07:18,121 --> 00:07:19,761 Speaker 2: ladder and I jumped on the phone next day and 176 00:07:19,801 --> 00:07:20,841 Speaker 2: I got my friend. I said, can you give me 177 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,481 Speaker 2: address to this Royal Commission. I want to write them 178 00:07:22,481 --> 00:07:24,281 Speaker 2: a ladder. I just want to test the water a 179 00:07:24,321 --> 00:07:25,561 Speaker 2: little bit with this and see how I found in. 180 00:07:25,721 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 2: And they are well in two weeks of me posting 181 00:07:27,601 --> 00:07:29,281 Speaker 2: the letter, I get called for a legal visit and 182 00:07:29,281 --> 00:07:30,841 Speaker 2: he's the Royal Commission. They said, we're here to hear 183 00:07:30,841 --> 00:07:33,481 Speaker 2: your story. And I told him a little bit of 184 00:07:33,961 --> 00:07:36,441 Speaker 2: pete about it and then banged. Straight after it become 185 00:07:36,481 --> 00:07:39,161 Speaker 2: a tryal. My councilor and these people, and I'm just going, wow, 186 00:07:39,321 --> 00:07:41,081 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. And these people wanted to 187 00:07:41,081 --> 00:07:43,561 Speaker 2: hear my story. They didn't want they they weren't telling 188 00:07:43,601 --> 00:07:45,001 Speaker 2: me to shut up. They wanted to hear it. They 189 00:07:45,001 --> 00:07:48,361 Speaker 2: were genuine they wanted to hear. And so about two 190 00:07:48,361 --> 00:07:51,201 Speaker 2: weeks later it was official. We got my we recorded 191 00:07:51,201 --> 00:07:54,321 Speaker 2: my my story of abuse. It was the first time 192 00:07:54,361 --> 00:07:55,721 Speaker 2: I told it in its entirety. 193 00:07:55,761 --> 00:08:00,041 Speaker 1: You know, I do solemnly, sincerely and truly declare and 194 00:08:00,121 --> 00:08:03,601 Speaker 1: affirm that the evidence I shall given this Royal Commission 195 00:08:03,921 --> 00:08:06,361 Speaker 1: that'll be the truth, the whole trip, and nothing but 196 00:08:06,561 --> 00:08:06,881 Speaker 1: the trip. 197 00:08:06,961 --> 00:08:10,081 Speaker 2: I started trauma counting on a regular basis. I started 198 00:08:10,081 --> 00:08:12,401 Speaker 2: off weekly and went to fortnite, and then went to monthly. 199 00:08:12,481 --> 00:08:16,001 Speaker 2: And I had this amazing trauma councilor you know who, 200 00:08:16,401 --> 00:08:18,281 Speaker 2: you know. I think it's about seven or eight years later. 201 00:08:18,321 --> 00:08:20,601 Speaker 2: I'm still in contact with today early now and then 202 00:08:20,961 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 2: that's rare. That's rare to have that that one count connection. Yeah, 203 00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,841 Speaker 2: she was an amazing woman. I'll tell you what. I 204 00:08:26,841 --> 00:08:28,561 Speaker 2: wouldn't even know what she looks like. I've only ever 205 00:08:28,561 --> 00:08:29,081 Speaker 2: spoke to her on. 206 00:08:29,081 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 4: The phone, so you've never been in the same room. 207 00:08:31,241 --> 00:08:33,241 Speaker 2: Never been in the same room. But she she you know, 208 00:08:33,401 --> 00:08:36,041 Speaker 2: she helped change my life, you know what I mean. 209 00:08:36,281 --> 00:08:39,561 Speaker 2: I'm blessed. I'm blessed that had happened. And you know, 210 00:08:40,281 --> 00:08:42,481 Speaker 2: I went to court, I got sentenced. I've got a 211 00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:44,841 Speaker 2: pretty good result for Robin that bank five with the 212 00:08:44,921 --> 00:08:46,881 Speaker 2: two with no back date. So I was going to 213 00:08:46,921 --> 00:08:50,681 Speaker 2: have to do three years. And and then I went 214 00:08:51,201 --> 00:08:54,841 Speaker 2: up to Marriborough Prison in Queensland. I guess you know, 215 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:58,641 Speaker 2: I started to be you know, I don't know, an 216 00:08:58,681 --> 00:09:00,801 Speaker 2: advocate for the Royal Commission. I started on you Blake 217 00:09:00,881 --> 00:09:03,041 Speaker 2: stories because I started to be able to see things 218 00:09:03,081 --> 00:09:05,761 Speaker 2: in people. I realized the more I told my own 219 00:09:05,801 --> 00:09:07,681 Speaker 2: story of abuse, the better I was getting. 220 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,681 Speaker 4: Yep, it's actually healing. 221 00:09:09,961 --> 00:09:11,881 Speaker 2: It become cathartic for me. And you know, I'd be 222 00:09:11,921 --> 00:09:13,441 Speaker 2: five or six places I said, this is what's happened 223 00:09:13,481 --> 00:09:15,241 Speaker 2: to me. I'm talking to Royal commission at the moment, 224 00:09:15,561 --> 00:09:17,921 Speaker 2: and I'm getting traumaccounts and things are starting to change 225 00:09:17,921 --> 00:09:20,281 Speaker 2: for me, you know, my whole outlook on life starting 226 00:09:20,281 --> 00:09:22,201 Speaker 2: to change because I'm starting to realize all these things 227 00:09:22,241 --> 00:09:24,601 Speaker 2: I had about myself, I shouldn't. I don't own them. 228 00:09:24,641 --> 00:09:28,561 Speaker 2: They belong to perpetrate. Its greatest tool is the silence 229 00:09:28,561 --> 00:09:30,481 Speaker 2: and shame of the survivor themselves. 230 00:09:30,521 --> 00:09:32,921 Speaker 3: You know, I think to us us, have you and 231 00:09:32,961 --> 00:09:36,961 Speaker 3: I had touched on this subject before and you used 232 00:09:37,001 --> 00:09:41,241 Speaker 3: a certain term which I've used since our conversation, and 233 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:45,801 Speaker 3: it was you were carrying a backpack. Yeah, look, carrying 234 00:09:45,841 --> 00:09:48,721 Speaker 3: a backpack of somebody else's wrongs. 235 00:09:48,841 --> 00:09:51,121 Speaker 4: Yeah, shame, shame and embarrassment and. 236 00:09:51,481 --> 00:09:53,121 Speaker 2: That hate too. I think, you know, we kept all 237 00:09:53,121 --> 00:09:55,481 Speaker 2: that hate pack off and yeah and handed back to 238 00:09:55,481 --> 00:09:57,641 Speaker 2: its rifle and that was the word sorry. Yeah, it 239 00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,241 Speaker 2: took that when I took, you know, And that's what 240 00:09:59,401 --> 00:10:02,801 Speaker 2: I talk about today. I talk about, you know, I 241 00:10:02,881 --> 00:10:04,761 Speaker 2: carried all this stuff that didn't belong to me, mate, 242 00:10:05,281 --> 00:10:07,801 Speaker 2: and that just didn't know I was so I had 243 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,081 Speaker 2: so much hate on myself. I had so much shame 244 00:10:10,161 --> 00:10:12,481 Speaker 2: and guilt, like you know what I mean, there's a 245 00:10:12,521 --> 00:10:16,601 Speaker 2: lot of things attached to you know, abuse survivors that 246 00:10:16,601 --> 00:10:18,361 Speaker 2: that you know what I mean, there's some really horrible 247 00:10:18,401 --> 00:10:20,561 Speaker 2: things that you left with, but when you tell your 248 00:10:20,561 --> 00:10:23,241 Speaker 2: story for the first time, that's quite liberating. That was 249 00:10:23,241 --> 00:10:25,321 Speaker 2: for me. It didn't feel comfortable, but the more and 250 00:10:25,361 --> 00:10:26,721 Speaker 2: more I told it, like you know, I tell it 251 00:10:26,761 --> 00:10:28,761 Speaker 2: on a daily basis that I ain't about ten times 252 00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:32,121 Speaker 2: a day.