Speaker 1: And then he starts peeing on me, on me, then.
Speaker 2: It'd be so warm. That is your first it would sick. Hey,
Speaker 2: welcome back to it.
Speaker 3: Just for a girl, just the girls. How's your week is?
Speaker 1: What have I been doing?
Speaker 2: I honestly think my mind has been like so heavily
Speaker 2: consumed with surgery prep.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The amount of fucking shit I've ordered on Amazon in
Speaker 2: the last couple of days is insane. But I went
Speaker 2: on a date on Saturday.
Speaker 3: Oh, it was Saturday.
Speaker 1: It was on Saturday.
Speaker 2: Oh, at a house party on Friday.
Speaker 1: Have really fun.
Speaker 2: It's so funny how different girl and boys share houses are. Yeah,
Speaker 2: girls share houses like clean, They've got nice furniture, they're decorated.
Speaker 1: They had a little Marquis bie. It was cute.
Speaker 2: And then I had a date on Saturday with a
Speaker 2: guy I met actually on Hinge. Yeah, I don't think
Speaker 2: i'd like, I don't think we're going in a long day.
Speaker 3: Have you spoken since? Oh suppose if you like kind
Speaker 3: of got the vibe.
Speaker 2: I think it was were just with different personality, because
Speaker 2: like a lovely guy all the same.
Speaker 1: Everyone's always like there's.
Speaker 2: No date horror stories Like I I never find that
Speaker 2: it's like a date horror story and something really bad
Speaker 2: goes wrong. It's like they're such nice guys. It's just
Speaker 2: like it didn't gel. Longevity is just not yeah, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean. So that was that was fine. Sunday,
Speaker 2: chill day. Oh I've got the golf and Graceful Gardens
Speaker 2: coming tomorrow.
Speaker 1: The chip to clean my wardrobe.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm so excited for you.
Speaker 2: I know, I feel like it'll be good how it is,
Speaker 2: because I will film it.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Right.
Speaker 2: So I had like six boxes maybe still sitting in
Speaker 2: the back of my wardrobe from my move in December
Speaker 2: that I just hadn't unpacked yet, purely because I'm like, no,
Speaker 2: this stuff won't fit in my wardrobe even if I
Speaker 2: do unpack it, so like I might as well just
Speaker 2: leave it in those boxes. So for prep, I've like
Speaker 2: gone through all the boxes, separated what I want to
Speaker 2: keep from what I don't. That's gonna be the issue
Speaker 2: because everything I don't want to keep, I'll box and
Speaker 2: I still then have to sort out whether I want
Speaker 2: to sell or donate things, but that will go in
Speaker 2: my cat's room and I'll deal with that at a
Speaker 2: later date. But yeah, she's I bought like Chester drawers. See,
Speaker 2: I have a Chester drawers and it's sitting.
Speaker 1: In a flat like it's like a flat pack.
Speaker 2: So I have to make that before she gets there. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think I'm just gonna make it tomorrow.
Speaker 1: While she's like, I don't know how. I'm like so.
Speaker 3: Excited for you because I really wanted to get her,
Speaker 3: but my apartment's so small and it's like I actually
Speaker 3: don't have a lot of stuff, so it's like I
Speaker 3: feel like I would get her once I've like moved
Speaker 3: into a place and like a want to make the things. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but I'm so excited for you.
Speaker 1: I just think I have so much stuff still that
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, you have a lot of struggle to
Speaker 1: get rid of things.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're not a minimalist.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not a minimalist.
Speaker 2: But I also like I find sentimental value in things
Speaker 2: and go like maybe I'll wear that one day.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: That's why I have so much stuff still is because
Speaker 2: I struggle to throw things out.
Speaker 3: Your challenge will be is like keeping it clean and
Speaker 3: like actually doing it. It's once cheap, it's.
Speaker 2: My wardrobe is still like somewhat tidy from when I
Speaker 2: did it.
Speaker 1: Besides the boxes.
Speaker 2: Like if the boxes isn't there, everything else is color organized,
Speaker 2: Everything's fine. It's just I wish I had like some
Speaker 2: guy I could just call and be like, hey, howp
Speaker 2: we make this chest of drawers.
Speaker 3: You can get it on air Tasker.
Speaker 1: I've never used air Tasker.
Speaker 3: You just download the app and you get someone to
Speaker 3: come build your flat pack for you and you pay.
Speaker 1: Them like country.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, you know, well you can approve them.
Speaker 1: Really you got to see photos of them. They have
Speaker 1: to the air Tasker.
Speaker 3: They have to be like verified on the app and everything,
Speaker 3: like they're legit.
Speaker 2: Well I think I need that because, like with all
Speaker 2: this ship I have to organize today, I'm like I
Speaker 2: don't have time to build a chest flaws.
Speaker 3: Just get an air task guy to do it.
Speaker 1: Play how have you been? How's your preph?
Speaker 3: Like non existent? Literally like non existent?
Speaker 1: Are you packed? I never packed all the day before anything?
Speaker 3: Well, I'm just like again, like I said lot in
Speaker 3: last week's episode, like I don't even know what the
Speaker 3: fucked pack. So it's like I'm literally just gonna throw
Speaker 3: in hard my wardrobe and just like get going just
Speaker 3: everything you like, Yeah, I'm just like having a really
Speaker 3: weird time, Like my face is so puffy. I've literally
Speaker 3: been crying for like the last three days, and I
Speaker 3: don't you're sad? Well, yeah, because I think, like I'm
Speaker 3: this is like something I've really wanted to do for
Speaker 3: a really long time, and I know that I can
Speaker 3: always come home, but it's like a challenge that I'm
Speaker 3: setting myself. And it's like all my friends have kind
Speaker 3: of been saying like goodbye because like I don't know
Speaker 3: when I'm coming back, and like I definitely am going
Speaker 3: for a couple months, and these are the girls I
Speaker 3: pretty much see like.
Speaker 1: Three or like with these girls.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so like I was saying goodbye and I said
Speaker 3: goodbye to someone I really love and like I was
Speaker 3: like I don't know when I'm going to see you next,
Speaker 3: which is like really weird because I don't have a
Speaker 3: return flight. So it's like you're leaving it open end.
Speaker 1: Is it's daunting?
Speaker 3: Yes, And I'm like setting myself a challenge, like I
Speaker 3: want to see what life is like over there, and
Speaker 3: like I don't like I'm gonna I'm entering.
Speaker 2: Is setting yourself a challenge if it comes to a
Speaker 2: point where you'll say not enjoying it.
Speaker 1: Don't stay just because it's a challenge.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, follow what makes you happy because you're taking this
Speaker 2: step to hopefully do something that makes you feel good
Speaker 2: in something you enjoy. And it's like, if you end
Speaker 2: up not enjoying it, that's not a defeat. Yeah, it
Speaker 2: just didn't work.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah. It just was like I'm entering and
Speaker 3: think of unknown and it's like I'm voluntarily doing this
Speaker 3: to myself.
Speaker 1: Why not It's wuld be the best thing you've ever done.
Speaker 3: It could could be, but yeah, you'll be fine. I
Speaker 3: haven't packed or anything like that. I'm just kind of
Speaker 3: like whatever, I'm dreading the fly like fucking dready?
Speaker 1: Are you in economy?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I would have thought maybe you would have gone business
Speaker 2: due to the suitcase situation.
Speaker 3: No, I just paid for two suitcases, right. I was
Speaker 3: really contemplating flying business because I was like, treat myself
Speaker 3: like that is that's like I thought you would have.
Speaker 1: I did, But.
Speaker 3: Melita and I are in it together, right, so it's
Speaker 3: like I'm not going to fucking be like bye when
Speaker 3: she's flying down to Melbourne to fly with me. So
Speaker 3: I'm like, right, wearing it together. We'll see it. We'll
Speaker 3: play our iPad games. Both of us are playing and
Speaker 3: coloring on r iPad. Yeah, we're in it together. We're good
Speaker 3: to go. Like, how long is are I? We fight
Speaker 3: a Doha and then we fight to London.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's good that it's broken up.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think it's like fourteen hours than seven hours.
Speaker 3: Ooh or seven hours then fourteen hours.
Speaker 1: You'll be fine. Knock yourself out. Yeah, play some games.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like Qatar. I'm like one of the do
Speaker 3: you know when you have like people where it's like, oh,
Speaker 3: I try to like on the plane, like I try
Speaker 3: to sleep the time that like London's asleep.
Speaker 1: I just sleep whenever.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I will want to sleep this whole time
Speaker 3: because fucking sitting on that plane is like excruciating.
Speaker 1: And sleeping with the time.
Speaker 2: Go ask like I will sleep on a flight to
Speaker 2: Sydney because I'm like then all of a sudden it's
Speaker 2: like beak, I'm awake and I'm out.
Speaker 3: Yeah great exactly. Yeah I'm not fucking trying.
Speaker 1: To buy pillow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll do everything like that.
Speaker 2: Fuck, I was gonna say, you know, there's fucking stupid
Speaker 2: Amazon ones that like I always am too embarrassing to use,
Speaker 2: but I know it would make my journey easier. Tho's
Speaker 2: like big blot ones that you stick your arms in
Speaker 2: and you rest them on the table and you yeah,
Speaker 2: but it's like your flight is there more comfortable? Like
Speaker 2: why would you not? Yeah, that's anxiety speaking to you.
Speaker 2: I know it would make my flight better, but like.
Speaker 3: It done really cares how much you know, But it's
Speaker 3: like I don't want to like be logging this through
Speaker 3: the airport.
Speaker 1: It's blow up, like strings down. You should get it.
Speaker 3: I think it's too late now.
Speaker 1: Amazon True Delivery.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, on this week's episode, guys, we are doing
Speaker 3: horror breakup stories all the ship that we love.
Speaker 2: So it's time for question of the week.
Speaker 3: Okay, easy, would you rather be trapped in a group
Speaker 3: chat with all your exes? Oh, go on a double
Speaker 3: date with your current crush and the X.
Speaker 2: Go on a double date with my current crush and
Speaker 2: his ex Actually, both my exes pretty well don't talk
Speaker 2: at all, so like I think I would only be
Speaker 2: talking to myself in that group, Like they would just
Speaker 2: be in there, but they would just be reading everything
Speaker 2: I say.
Speaker 1: They wouldn't say anything same so.
Speaker 2: That but yeah, I think that would be preferable because
Speaker 2: then I don't have to be face to face with them,
Speaker 2: because bottom line, it's just awkward. Like Sam has seen
Speaker 2: me interact with my initial ex and it's awkward, like
Speaker 2: we it's so weird to think that you spend so
Speaker 2: much of your life with this person and then all
Speaker 2: of a sudden they're a complete fucking stranger, Like that
Speaker 2: guy is a stranger to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I'm one who could like talk in any situation,
Speaker 3: but when I was there.
Speaker 1: It was hell.
Speaker 2: To say, it was hell because it has been probably
Speaker 2: like three years since we'd last seen each other anyways,
Speaker 2: and like our lives are so different, and I like
Speaker 2: I couldn't even I couldn't do work, Like it was
Speaker 2: fucking hell. Anyway, I think I think my more recent
Speaker 2: next week and actually converse, but it's more because we're
Speaker 2: just trying to be polite. But the other one, it's
Speaker 2: like he doesn't give a shit about being polite, so
Speaker 2: we actually just sit in silence. Yeah yeah, which is
Speaker 2: really fun.
Speaker 3: But it could also be fun to like a guy
Speaker 3: that you're crashing on just like get like he's ex
Speaker 3: involved it there on, like good terms and shit and
Speaker 3: like all have it.
Speaker 2: I don't really think it's more about like it would
Speaker 2: be awkward now because I.
Speaker 3: Am like, do you I'm like, oh, so, like, how
Speaker 3: was your sex wife?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: My god, like I might. I just like don't care
Speaker 3: about those things really weird.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I feel like you're taking it so literally.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, let's get into storytime.
Speaker 1: Story number one.
Speaker 2: Hi, girls, I have an outrageous story from a couple
Speaker 2: of years ago, back when I was deep in the
Speaker 2: trenches of single life.
Speaker 1: I'm deep in those trenches, mabe.
Speaker 2: Seriously, I've been screwed over so many times. So when
Speaker 2: the sweet, nerdy guy from my unique class started flirting
Speaker 2: with me, I thought, you know what, let's give the nice.
Speaker 1: Guy a shot.
Speaker 2: I really want this to go well, because I need
Speaker 2: to give the nice guy shot. Every Thursday night, our
Speaker 2: UNI threw these chaotic parties. One Thursday, I thought, screw it,
Speaker 2: let's go all in. We're dancing in the maush. He's
Speaker 2: actually fun and we're vibing. The night winds down and
Speaker 2: I invite him back to mine. You can put two
Speaker 2: and two together. It's a good night. We're lying in
Speaker 2: bed post fun and I'm genuinely thinking, Wow, maybe I have.
Speaker 3: What say it?
Speaker 2: Wow, maybe I've finally broken the curse of the fuck boys.
Speaker 2: Then I don't know where he goes. I have knits?
Speaker 3: What what? Like?
Speaker 1: Honestly, mate, you didn't need to tell me that.
Speaker 2: I would have rather just found out because my head
Speaker 2: was itchy in a couple of days, Like because I
Speaker 2: would have assumed it was a friend. I would never
Speaker 2: have assumed it was you. Oh my god, my eyes
Speaker 2: shoot open like I've heard a gunshot, and I'm like.
Speaker 1: Excuse me.
Speaker 2: He casually repeats it like he's just forgotten to feed
Speaker 2: his goldfish.
Speaker 1: No, I have nits, Like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: The three immediate questions One, how does the twenty one
Speaker 2: year old man get knits?
Speaker 1: Two? Why would you go home with someone when you
Speaker 1: know you're a bio hazard? Three? Why tell me now?
Speaker 2: To top it all off, the next morning, I had
Speaker 2: to go by a knit treatment while catastrophically hungover. Our
Speaker 2: bathroom was under renovation, so I had to go to
Speaker 2: the public gym to do it. Picture me in a
Speaker 2: communal shower, drenching my scalp in pesticide shampoo and trying
Speaker 2: not to cry while I was zoomber class rages next door.
Speaker 1: Thanks for letting me share my trauma. Love you guys.
Speaker 1: You're an amazing storyteller. Girl. You should write a book. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that, but I.
Speaker 2: Will just I think my one big question is like
Speaker 2: you could have You didn't have to tell me that,
Speaker 2: like this isn't it STD, But you're like obliged to
Speaker 2: tell me. I'll find out and I'll do knit treatment
Speaker 2: in a couple of days.
Speaker 1: You did not need to. I probably would have seen it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just such a scary thing to me because
Speaker 2: it's like if you leave even just one of those
Speaker 2: bad boys alive, you have to do it again.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean. I was back in the
Speaker 3: day there was like this. I think I've told her
Speaker 3: on the podcast. There was probably one kid in school
Speaker 3: and he had knits twenty four to seven and he like,
Speaker 3: do you know when you get the email all the
Speaker 3: parents get the email and being like there's nits in
Speaker 3: the classroom. Someone never treated their kid, and my mom
Speaker 3: I would have to do weekly knit treatments because I
Speaker 3: got knits all the time because I have really curly
Speaker 3: and thick hair. So like life, love my hair because
Speaker 3: it's all warm and everything like that, and they cling
Speaker 3: to that. My mom was doing nit treatments every single day,
Speaker 3: like at one point, because I would always have nits
Speaker 3: because one person never treated their fucking hair, so then
Speaker 3: it would go around again.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't tell they hate getting nit trimmers or fee like,
Speaker 2: they wouldn't even tell their parents like they have it.
Speaker 3: But like mym would see me each my head and.
Speaker 1: Be like, come on, yeah.
Speaker 2: Mom would only use conditional condition because it's life treatment
Speaker 2: because it paralyzes the knits. And then she'd combed it out.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I remember we'd sit in the kitchen and watch
Speaker 1: fucking sunrise.
Speaker 3: And then she'd like pull out the tissue and like
Speaker 3: comb it out and you'd see all the It's.
Speaker 2: Incredibly satisfying, but also like fucking disgusting.
Speaker 3: Or did you have that cone that would zap them?
Speaker 3: That's how my mum would chest if I had it,
Speaker 3: she would go run it through my hair and it
Speaker 3: would zap the lice.
Speaker 2: And kill it. Yeah, you've got them like an electric comb. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I've never I just the pain of those metal ones
Speaker 2: that have the really thin sort of comby thing is
Speaker 2: the pain of that pulling on a knot in your hair.
Speaker 1: Oh anyway, it was just.
Speaker 3: One day that I had just and then I never
Speaker 3: got knits again. But I'm not For like three years straight,
Speaker 3: I had knits every one to two weeks and then
Speaker 3: it just never happened again.
Speaker 2: I mean, my sister would always give them to each other. Yeah,
Speaker 2: my brother had dreadlocks. So I wonder, can you let
Speaker 2: us know if you actually got knits from this guy?
Speaker 2: I'm actually really curious.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Oh no, well she did treatment straight away. Okay.
Speaker 3: Next, I've got the best dating horror story. I match
Speaker 3: with this guy on hinge. We'd been talking for a
Speaker 3: few weeks, but I wasn't really interested. He seemed super keen,
Speaker 3: asking to see me constantly, so I finally gave in
Speaker 3: and decided to hang out with him. Worst decision ever.
Speaker 3: We met up after UNI and we went back to
Speaker 3: his house. The conversation was great and he seemed really
Speaker 3: sweet until he wasn't. After we hooked up, he completely flipped.
Speaker 3: He looked at me and says, get the fuck away
Speaker 3: from me.
Speaker 1: Oofed.
Speaker 3: I laughed, thinking he was joking, no, dead serious. Then
Speaker 3: he started saying weird cryptic things like people lie. You know,
Speaker 3: you've probably been lied to so many times. I told
Speaker 3: you I wasn't a murderer. I didn't say I wasn't
Speaker 3: a psycho.
Speaker 1: What the fuck.
Speaker 3: This man had?
Speaker 1: So?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would have been like, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 3: about to die. This man had no soul behind his eyes.
Speaker 3: I was terrified. I tried to leave, but my phone
Speaker 3: was about to die. He wouldn't let me charge it
Speaker 3: and refuse to tell me where the tramp stop was.
Speaker 3: Eventually I escaped, and as soon as I got out,
Speaker 3: I realized he blocked me on everything.
Speaker 2: What is wrong with this man? I'd like an explanation
Speaker 2: from this man.
Speaker 3: Getting turns out we had a mutual friend. I found
Speaker 3: out he wasn't the only one he had done it to.
Speaker 3: He's like one of these people who has like a
Speaker 3: secret fantasy of like swindling women. That's like a mental illness.
Speaker 1: I think that's insanity.
Speaker 2: I would like post on a Facebook group and be like,
Speaker 2: no one go on a date.
Speaker 1: With this guy.
Speaker 3: That's like a mental illness.
Speaker 2: But I wonder what the cause of that was. Not
Speaker 2: to say that there needed to be a cause, because
Speaker 2: he sounds like he's a psychoony probably he just would
Speaker 2: have done it anyways, But like I wonder.
Speaker 3: Why, I wonderful what the psychology behind that is? We
Speaker 3: should just go ask because next to us a psychiatrist.
Speaker 1: The story, let us know what this guy's got.
Speaker 3: I think moral of the story is, don't go to
Speaker 3: a hinge guy's house on the first date.
Speaker 1: It's so hard dating because it's like.
Speaker 2: You do like even in the day I went on
Speaker 2: like obviously we have mutual friends and he was a
Speaker 2: nice guy. But so many people go on dates with
Speaker 2: like complete strangers that they meet on dating ops and
Speaker 2: you just never fucking know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like my old housemate Nelly, she's German, she's from Germany,
Speaker 3: so she doesn't know a lot of people here, but
Speaker 3: she'll always like check them before she goes, and a
Speaker 3: lot of the time I'll have mutuals with them, so
Speaker 3: I like give her the rundown, yeah, and be like,
Speaker 3: he's safe.
Speaker 2: But so many times people would go on dates with
Speaker 2: people they have no mutuals with, or they do that
Speaker 2: in other countries and stuff, and guys that they've just met,
Speaker 2: and it's like, how do you stay safe in a
Speaker 2: setting like that if you are just trying.
Speaker 1: To meet someone do you know what I mean? It's
Speaker 1: actually really challenging.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 2: The next story, Okay, so there was this guy I
Speaker 2: was on and off with for about a year. He
Speaker 2: was always wild, but this night takes the cake. He
Speaker 2: came over absolutely wasted, and we you know, did the deed.
Speaker 2: I can never sleep with someone in bed, so I'm
Speaker 2: tossing and turning when he's suddenly starts sleep talking No biggie,
Speaker 2: he starts wriggling like crazy, and I'm like you.
Speaker 1: Could no response.
Speaker 2: He then sits up, starts staring at himself in the mirror.
Speaker 2: Next thing I know, he stands up, whips out his
Speaker 2: dick and starts peeing all over my floor. I don't
Speaker 2: mean sprinkle, I mean like Niagara falls and it went
Speaker 2: on for three minutes. How would you clean that? I
Speaker 2: would bowl him over to get him to stop peeing,
Speaker 2: because it's like, I don't want you to.
Speaker 3: Start spraying everywhere like it's a fucking.
Speaker 2: Honestly, would rather get it on myself than have it
Speaker 2: drenched my fucking like stop, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like knock the man down?
Speaker 3: My god feel sick.
Speaker 2: I start screaming at what the actual fuck are you doing?
Speaker 2: And midstream he goes, shut up, bitch, let me pee,
Speaker 2: and then he starts peeing on me, on me, then
Speaker 2: into it'd be so warm that is your first door,
Speaker 2: it would stick.
Speaker 1: It's me.
Speaker 3: I hope you're hydrated.
Speaker 2: Get into a popcorn bowl I had in my room.
Speaker 2: And when he's done, he picks up the piss filled
Speaker 2: bowl and drnies himself with it.
Speaker 3: You're lying, this is a lie.
Speaker 2: This is couldn't you take me to the bathroom I
Speaker 2: need to be I shoved him in there, slammed the door,
Speaker 2: and ran. He came back confused, laughed when I explained everything,
Speaker 2: cleaned it all up, and went to bed like nothing happened.
Speaker 2: I really hope you had like wooden floors or something same.
Speaker 2: And then I stayed with him after that, don't ask.
Speaker 2: Eventually I left, but I will never forget that curse night.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. The way he acted like so normal
Speaker 3: about it means he's done it.
Speaker 2: So many times and he's just like he's I actually
Speaker 2: had a friend. I wonder if this was last year
Speaker 2: or the year before. They came home and they were
Speaker 2: like really really out of it. And that was a
Speaker 2: share house, like there were three girls living there, and
Speaker 2: let's call it Betty. Betty goes into one of the
Speaker 2: girl's room and the girl, let's call it Sarah. Sarah's
Speaker 2: asleep in bed and she's been sick because she was
Speaker 2: like vomiting because she'd drink, been drinking too much. So
Speaker 2: there was a bowl next to her bed filled with vomit.
Speaker 2: And Betty feels is so out of it. This is
Speaker 2: like real story. And when I heard this, I couldn't
Speaker 2: believe it. She picked up the foot ball full of
Speaker 2: moment and tipped it upside down on her head. So
Speaker 2: not only did she have to clean, how go I
Speaker 2: have a shower?
Speaker 1: Wash her? She then I had to clean the floor
Speaker 1: because the floor's now covered in the moment. Well, I
Speaker 1: feel cozy, I know.
Speaker 2: Can you imagine being asleep in your bed, having a
Speaker 2: bowl of vomit next to you and then just like
Speaker 2: waking up to your friend like pouring it on your
Speaker 2: head and you being like, babe.
Speaker 1: What the fuck are you doing? I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 3: Story number four. This was potentially the most awkward moment
Speaker 3: of my life. Match with this guy on hinge, tall, tanned,
Speaker 3: blue eyes, total a dream boy.
Speaker 2: Can you send him my way after this story, I
Speaker 2: probably won't want him.
Speaker 3: We clicked and he instantly offered to take me to
Speaker 3: an Italian restaurant, since I'm Italian and I love food.
Speaker 1: Lovely is is he?
Speaker 3: Have you ridden in? I wrote this, I drove just
Speaker 3: in case it got awkward. Thank god I did. When
Speaker 3: I walked in, he was at a huge table talking
Speaker 3: to what looked like a big family. He waved me.
Speaker 3: Turns out it was his entire family family, parents, siblings, grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins,
Speaker 3: you name it. He invited me to his mom's fiftieth
Speaker 3: birthday without telling me what the fuck He introduced me
Speaker 3: to everyone as his date. I didn't even know him
Speaker 3: properly yet. I just stood there awkwardly, had one wine,
Speaker 3: ate dinner, and said I wasn't feeling well and left.
Speaker 3: We never spoke again, but his entire family still knows me.
Speaker 3: I don't get people that are like so chill with
Speaker 3: introducing them to a fan.
Speaker 2: They're family, like it would be for me to have
Speaker 2: a date on a family thing like that. I'm like,
Speaker 2: that's then awkward for me because I'm so worried about
Speaker 2: this person all night and making sure that they're enjoying
Speaker 2: themselves and that like everyone's being yes to them.
Speaker 1: I could never do that.
Speaker 3: Like my my ex boyfriend because I lived at home
Speaker 3: when he when we went on our first date, he
Speaker 3: picked me up and he came inside because I wasn't ready.
Speaker 3: I just finished work and he met my parents. But
Speaker 3: like that was because I lived at home, but he
Speaker 3: didn't meet my brothers, Like my brothers are a big one,
Speaker 3: Like meeting my oldest brother Patrick is like you're asking
Speaker 3: for a death wish. So like I wouldn't meet you
Speaker 3: until we're actually dating and I know that you're going
Speaker 3: to be in my family for a really long time
Speaker 3: because I don't want to put you through that. I
Speaker 3: also don't want you to meet my dad really, because
Speaker 3: my dad is really hard to impress, Like I'm I'm
Speaker 3: the only girl, like I'm everyone's princess, Like you don't.
Speaker 3: I'm not just gonna fucking.
Speaker 1: Yeah make that. I feel like my family is not
Speaker 1: like that, as like my dad's not like her.
Speaker 2: He's just like okay, hey, come on, like give a
Speaker 2: little more.
Speaker 1: Make them scared.
Speaker 2: I just that's why they always cheat on me, because
Speaker 2: Dad doesn't scare them off.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I always just tell the boys to like talk
Speaker 3: about sporks. My dad's a peety teacher and he just
Speaker 3: loves sports, so like just talk about like footy or
Speaker 3: like tennis or like riding bikes or something like that.
Speaker 2: And just like you'd have to talk about fucking cars
Speaker 2: reminder or McDonald's.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, But like now I'm like, oh my god, I
Speaker 3: would not introduce you to my family unless like we're
Speaker 3: actually dating. I'd introduce you to my mom because my
Speaker 3: mom's such like a sweet soul. She just like wants
Speaker 3: to make you muffins.
Speaker 1: And yeah, like that.
Speaker 2: The guy I was like seeing for like not seeing
Speaker 2: kind of talking to it for a little bit, met
Speaker 2: my mum at the footy just because she was also
Speaker 2: at the game, and like it was fine, Like Mom's
Speaker 2: just to like they're chillen, they're just nice.
Speaker 1: They just want to be friendly.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but my dad's like, you're fucking my daughter.
Speaker 2: Ooh, don't put dad and that word in the same
Speaker 2: fucking sentence.
Speaker 1: Disgusting. Okay, next. Sorry.
Speaker 2: When my boyfriend and I broke up, it was because
Speaker 2: he cheated on me with multiple girls and was super manipulative.
Speaker 2: One night, I was drunk at the club and he
Speaker 2: tried to dance with me. I wasn't having it, so
Speaker 2: he went to another girl and started grinding on her
Speaker 2: right next to me.
Speaker 3: Oh perfect.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't even know what to do in a situation
Speaker 1: like that, lady.
Speaker 2: He came back to try and get me again, and
Speaker 2: I told him, hope you lose your dick, since you
Speaker 2: think more with that than your brain.
Speaker 1: A month later, he called me saying he.
Speaker 2: Had a month later he called me saying I had
Speaker 2: testicular cancer and had to get one removed. Now he
Speaker 2: tells people I cursed him, So yeah, I love your girls,
Speaker 2: love the pond.
Speaker 1: Oh, I would feel guilty, like forever.
Speaker 3: I'd be like, oh my god, I'm a witch.
Speaker 2: Like maybe it's not your fault, it's not your fault,
Speaker 2: but like I would feel guilty.
Speaker 3: I'd be like, oh my god, I'm a witch. All
Speaker 3: my wishes come true. Then I'd be like, what other
Speaker 3: spells can I cast?
Speaker 1: I have done a love spell? Do you remember? There
Speaker 1: was a stunky little witch shop near where I live,
Speaker 1: and my mom loves that shit.
Speaker 3: I had this person who is like, I know there's
Speaker 3: a white witch, and she was like I was like
Speaker 3: speaking to her, like talking like we'll just like debriefing
Speaker 3: and like talking about all that hardship that will have
Speaker 3: going on. And she was like, cast a spell, cast
Speaker 3: a spell on it. She's like it works every.
Speaker 1: Time I need a look more into spells like that.
Speaker 3: I didn't do it because then I'm like karma, Karma's
Speaker 3: gonna get me.
Speaker 2: I'm also like I can't fuck with the world like that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: things aren't gonna happen the way that they're meant to happen. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And if I cast a spell, like any bets, I'll
Speaker 2: end up regretting it, like copy, like I really like
Speaker 2: this guy, like make him obsessed with me, and then
Speaker 2: like lo and behold, he ends up like murdering me
Speaker 2: because he loves me so much, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like I just you never know, I just wouldn't fuck
Speaker 2: with it. Yeah, don't cast spell scills.
Speaker 3: It's not good, all right. Last story in twenty twenty three,
Speaker 3: I match with this German guy who was visiting his family.
Speaker 1: Here.
Speaker 3: From the first message, it was weirdly perfect, same tasting, art, photography, design,
Speaker 3: even music. Our first date an underground DJ set from
Speaker 3: a German artist. They were literally playing microwave sounds as
Speaker 3: the music like straight up kitchen appliance noise.
Speaker 1: Oh like she hated it. I'm getting the vibe.
Speaker 3: I was trying to process the noise and suddenly he
Speaker 3: pulls me into a hallway and starts making out with
Speaker 3: me midwalk. Kind of sounds zero warning.
Speaker 1: It's kind of hot, hmm.
Speaker 3: I was just trying to locate the DJ and he's
Speaker 3: already tongue first. He gave me his jumper that night
Speaker 3: and told me he really wanted to see me again.
Speaker 3: He gave me his number, and honestly I was into it.
Speaker 3: Two days later we did a wholesome switch up a
Speaker 3: photography date at the Botanical Garden.
Speaker 1: God, these are like interesting days.
Speaker 3: Yeah. He bought his nats and a picnic rug. That's
Speaker 3: really cute.
Speaker 1: I hate that. This is horror sory. It's going to hap.
Speaker 3: We wandered around, took some photos, and then Mick convo.
Speaker 3: He turns to me while holding my hand and goes, yeah,
Speaker 3: I just don't like you.
Speaker 2: See, some people need to realize that stuff doesn't need
Speaker 2: to be said. You can slow ghost. You do not
Speaker 2: need to tell someone that you don't like them.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I've just plenty forty five minutes with you. I've
Speaker 3: come to the English night.
Speaker 1: I just don't like you.
Speaker 2: It's actually quite frankly offensive as well, because you're like,
Speaker 2: is there something that wrong with me that like these
Speaker 2: guys that she's like, I don't like.
Speaker 3: He has to say it to me. Yeah, I was
Speaker 3: like okay. Not even two seconds later, he tries to
Speaker 3: shove he's tongue down my throat after friends owning me.
Speaker 3: I was just standing there like.
Speaker 1: It's got to be a cultural thing.
Speaker 3: What I was just standing there like, what chapter of
Speaker 3: the dating hair book is this? Then he asked me
Speaker 3: to walk into the bathroom because he needed to pee.
Speaker 3: I stored it in there, kind of confuse, like a
Speaker 3: confused emotional support human, waited until each other door and
Speaker 3: dipped so fast and basically vanished. Oh my god, you
Speaker 3: stood him up so fair?
Speaker 1: I would I think that's a I think it's fair.
Speaker 2: No, I just think, oh yeah, I don't like you
Speaker 2: make out with me? Can you take me to the toilet?
Speaker 2: I think the weirdest part of that is can you
Speaker 2: walk me to the toilet?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Like where's the bath? Like?
Speaker 1: Why do I need to do that?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Fuck, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I wonder if you ever got in contact with that
Speaker 2: after I feel like you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like there's a bit enough said.
Speaker 1: Fucking hell. Well, I loved those ones.
Speaker 2: I think what was the first one?
Speaker 1: I think then it was Overabe. That was funny.
Speaker 2: All right, guys, that was our horror story episode. Thank
Speaker 2: you so much for sending you in your stories again.
Speaker 2: And we hope you have more relationship like in the future.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I hope weisht that on us too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, please, we need it.
Speaker 1: I'm just about done with dating apps.
Speaker 3: Maybe you should just delete it for a bit.
Speaker 2: I just redownloaded it three days ago. Perfect, fucking hell.
Speaker 2: All right, guys, you next week.
Speaker 1: Bye,