1 00:00:01,720 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: When was the last time you tried to change a 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,520 Speaker 1: way that you did something, something that you knew wasn't 3 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:09,040 Speaker 1: great for you. 4 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 2: With me, last night, I thought, you know what, I 5 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 2: should really jump on the rower tomorrow morning. Yeah. 6 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,279 Speaker 1: So this morning I got into my workout gear, I 7 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 1: came downstairs and I thought, oh, look, I'll just shoot 8 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: off that email to Ben before I go on and 9 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: I do my twenty minutes of intervals, and then I 10 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 1: can shower and do the video call and then head 11 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:31,320 Speaker 1: to my eleven. 12 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,000 Speaker 2: AM in the city. 13 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 1: And then you smash cut to me running back upstairs 14 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:40,879 Speaker 1: in my now non sweaty workout gear at twenty to eleven, 15 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,520 Speaker 1: rushing because I got I got so carried away with everything. 16 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:47,960 Speaker 1: But what it was that I actually went downstairs to 17 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:52,239 Speaker 1: do I'm now so late. I pull on my motorbike 18 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 1: pants and my jacket over the top of my training 19 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 1: gear to head. 20 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 2: To this meeting. 21 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,120 Speaker 1: I know there's a better way to do things, and 22 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 1: I know that it's got to do with understanding when 23 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: I'm hot, when I'm cold, and knowing to take myself 24 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:13,960 Speaker 1: out of the decision. So before I talk about that, 25 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,039 Speaker 1: I did need to pay some bills. I'll be back 26 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 1: after the break. Gooday, thanks for listening to the show. 27 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 1: This is better than yesterday, helping you make today better 28 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: than yesterday. Since twenty thirteen, my name is Osha Ginzburg. 29 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 1: I am a podcast I'm a best selling author. I'm 30 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,520 Speaker 1: a husband, I'm a dad, I'm a stepdad. I'm a 31 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 1: weekly poker player, and an unplanned yet still a planned 32 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:41,959 Speaker 1: lunch with wife Havera Oh so spontaneous. Yes, honey, it was, 33 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:45,760 Speaker 1: and I'm glad you're here. We went to lunch today. 34 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 1: It was delightful. Now I don't know about you, but 35 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: this week I am really struggling to get stuff done. 36 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 1: I really am. And Audrey said, like, what's going on? 37 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 1: I'm just so behind, so behind everything. She's like, why 38 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 1: is that? And I couldn't answer it directly. I said, Look, 39 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 1: I'm going to have to have a look at the 40 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 1: calendar and have a look at my list of things, 41 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 1: and I'm going to need to understand why it is 42 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 1: that I've fallen so far behind in things that I 43 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 1: otherwise will be able. 44 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:12,239 Speaker 2: To get through during the week. 45 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:15,040 Speaker 1: And it took me a little while to dig around, 46 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 1: and it turns out that I have somehow lapsed back 47 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 1: into a formal way of being, which is believing that 48 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,080 Speaker 1: my willpower will be the thing that will get me 49 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,600 Speaker 1: to do what it is that I intended to do. 50 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 2: Now. 51 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 1: The problem with this is that by the time I 52 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,120 Speaker 1: am at the crucial, the critical decision making point of 53 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 1: doing this thing where I really need the willpower to 54 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,680 Speaker 1: go and now action, my willpower is out the back 55 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 1: on a milk crate, drinking a water bottle, and on 56 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:51,640 Speaker 1: a YouTube deep dive through various live recordings of Huey 57 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,920 Speaker 1: Lewis and the News in the nineteen eighty nine version 58 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:54,400 Speaker 1: of the band. 59 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 2: Because I like my band's in business seites, I watch 60 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:57,959 Speaker 2: them on TV. 61 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 1: So with my willpower blur the out of action, the 62 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: easiest thing for me to do next becomes the thing 63 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: that I end up doing, and that is not the 64 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 1: work I need to do. The phone called the workout, 65 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:17,519 Speaker 1: that's now the hard thing. So then I start to 66 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 1: feel shit about myself for not doing the now two 67 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: things I haven't done. But I'm very busy doing three 68 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,919 Speaker 1: different things that I don't need to be doing right 69 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 1: now because it feels a relief that I'm not doing 70 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 1: this hard thing. It feels busy because I'm getting stuff done, 71 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,119 Speaker 1: I'm busy, busy, beer, but I'm not doing the thing 72 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: that I need to do, and deep down inside, it's 73 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 1: starting to feel worse and worse. And then when the 74 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 1: crunch comes, because there's now four things I haven't done 75 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: that are all due, the deadlines are all here and 76 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: I've got to go. I then push myself really hard 77 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: to complete them quickly and shittily, and I've done a 78 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 1: poor job. And now I feel bad about myself for 79 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,839 Speaker 1: doing a shit job and letting people down. But then 80 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 1: the next time there's work to do, more work than 81 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: I need to do. This whole experience has been so influcent. 82 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 1: I start to procrastinate again to avoid the negative feelings 83 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: of having not done this stuff before, even though I 84 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 1: know it's going to be worse when the next deadline's 85 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 1: going around. 86 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 2: It sets off this bit of a cycle. 87 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:18,239 Speaker 1: Now, the problem here is that when I am choosing 88 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,839 Speaker 1: to not do the thing I intended to do, that's 89 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 1: what's called me being in a hot state. That's where 90 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 1: I am when I'm in the decisions to not do 91 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:30,039 Speaker 1: the work. It's something I first heard about. I first 92 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,919 Speaker 1: heard hot states and cold states when it came to 93 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: talking to your teenagers about having sex or doing drugs. 94 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:38,000 Speaker 2: All right, hot states and cold states decisions. 95 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,840 Speaker 1: So when you're in the moment when your hormones are 96 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:42,599 Speaker 1: raging and your brain's in tunnel vision or I don't know, 97 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 1: you're in a bean bag out of someone's house and 98 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 1: someone's passing you the skull bong and you're in this 99 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 1: whole house party everyone's watching you. That's a hot state. 100 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,599 Speaker 1: You're impulsive, you're less rational, You're making emotional choices that 101 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: might not align with your long term goals. You're looking 102 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: for immediate gratification. You have very limited ability to do it, 103 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:05,960 Speaker 1: to reason at all. An example of this in my 104 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 1: adult life is mini bars in hotels. 105 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 2: All Right, so I'm alone, I'm in a hotel room. 106 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 2: I'm away for work. 107 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: I miss my family, I'm tired, I'm stressed. It's not 108 00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 1: my bed, it's not my shower. What's going on. The 109 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 1: lift doesn't work. I can hear my neighbors shouting. Now, 110 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,280 Speaker 1: I'm not going to drink out of the mini bar. 111 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:27,239 Speaker 1: But the effort required to keep pulling my brain back 112 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 1: from wanting to go there, sometimes it can get tiring, 113 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 1: and I certainly wouldn't want to be in a situation 114 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:35,840 Speaker 1: where that option is there when I am tired or 115 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,719 Speaker 1: stressed or missing my family. So to deal with that situation, 116 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: I was taught to make a decision about it when 117 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 1: I'm in a cold state. The cold state is when 118 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:51,359 Speaker 1: I'm checking into the hotel, probably come the train or 119 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 1: the airport or where I just come from, and I say, hey, 120 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,280 Speaker 1: here I am, there's my credit card, whatever, Oh, can 121 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 1: you send someone upstairs? Can you please get to take 122 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 1: the alcohol out of the room. I'll do that when 123 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 1: I'm in if I haven't done it already. And that 124 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:06,200 Speaker 1: kind of moves into the territory of an intention. With 125 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,839 Speaker 1: my intention is I don't want to drink, and the 126 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:12,479 Speaker 1: intention is very valiant, it reflects my values. But my 127 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 1: intention that reflects my values doesn't stand a chance against 128 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:20,599 Speaker 1: a shifting situation that can rapidly decline and the pressure 129 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 1: can be on. My intention cannot hold water to the 130 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:29,560 Speaker 1: pressure of a situation that I have yet to encounter. 131 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,280 Speaker 1: But there is a way to get around this, which 132 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 1: I'll talk to you about after this quick break. Thanks 133 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,600 Speaker 1: for letting me play some ads, because be you letting 134 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 1: me play some ads? 135 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,280 Speaker 2: It means that I can pay the bills, and that 136 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 2: really helps. 137 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: So, with apologies to Katie Perry, I'm a bit hot 138 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 1: and cold at the moment right now. My intention to train, 139 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,039 Speaker 1: my intention to clean up the yard, they're not happening. 140 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 1: For whatever reason. That's been like this all week, and 141 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,120 Speaker 1: I had to do a bit of an ordered I 142 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:02,000 Speaker 1: guess on this, not like in a weird kind of 143 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,839 Speaker 1: religiously cultor audit, but like just an audit. What is 144 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,719 Speaker 1: actually going on? Look at the calendar, look at the list, 145 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 1: what's happening. It's because I've been relying on my willpower 146 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: to get me through. My willpower sometimes is handy, but 147 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 1: in cases like this is absolutely useless. My Self will 148 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: is not what got me to this point in my life. 149 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: It's actually something far more powerful. Has nothing to do 150 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 1: with my self will at all. It's about building and 151 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 1: the implementation of systems. It's a pretty simple program. It's 152 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 1: as easy. It's it's forwards. If this, then that, that's 153 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 1: it turning the intentional goal. So the intentional goal of 154 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 1: I really want to train tomorrow and that's my intention 155 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: into a process goal. This is now I am doing 156 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 1: the thing by changing it to a process goal. It 157 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 1: takes my decision making and my emotion completely out of 158 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:02,440 Speaker 1: the equation talking getting the alcohol out of the mini bar. 159 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,920 Speaker 1: That's one kind of version of it. But a really 160 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: really clear version of it is when it comes to drinking, 161 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 1: the process goal, like the intention is like I don't 162 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 1: want to drink because one I drink by make poor 163 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 1: choices such and such that when the shit hits the 164 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: fan and the opportunities are there, there's no way they 165 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: can hold a candle to it. Right, So the process 166 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: goal is simply put in place before I pick up 167 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 1: a drink, pick up the phone, all right, So in 168 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: the terms of if this, then that if I feel 169 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 1: like drinking, then I pick up the phone. And, knowing 170 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,720 Speaker 1: that has saved my life more than once has the 171 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,440 Speaker 1: feeling showed up my brain went, oh, we know what 172 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:46,079 Speaker 1: to do here, pick up the phone. Oh thank you dude, 173 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,079 Speaker 1: and started calling people, letting them know can I just 174 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,319 Speaker 1: talk to you for five minutes. I didn't want to 175 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 1: make the phone calls. I didn't want to talk to 176 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,840 Speaker 1: someone and say, hey, I'm having a hard day. But 177 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 1: I had drilled it into my head before I pick 178 00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,440 Speaker 1: up a drink, pick up the phone before I pick 179 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 1: up the drink, pick up the phone, or if this 180 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 1: then that if I want to pick up a drink, 181 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,199 Speaker 1: then I pick up the phone. So I did, I 182 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 1: just start calling people. And it's the same thing about 183 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 1: the mini bar. Relying on my ability to choose in 184 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: that difficult moment is not something that works. So I've 185 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,400 Speaker 1: created a system so I don't have to rely on 186 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 1: my willpower or my ability to choose the thing in 187 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:24,520 Speaker 1: the moment. And combining these two things, the process goal 188 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 1: and the hot and cold decision making, that's where things 189 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 1: can get really really good. So when I'm in a 190 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,680 Speaker 1: cold state, when I'm not in a situation, I try 191 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 1: to think ahead and visualize what might be a way 192 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: that I could handle this thing that I'm a bit 193 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:42,080 Speaker 1: worried about, or something that would reflect me wanting to 194 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,800 Speaker 1: do things slightly differently. I'll give you an example from 195 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 1: my own life. Say you're going to a barbecue and 196 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:53,000 Speaker 1: you're pretty sure your X will be there. A cold 197 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 1: state decision is usually based more on our values, and 198 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,560 Speaker 1: they align with who we want to be and where 199 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 1: we want to go. Oh, cold state decisions tend to 200 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:06,600 Speaker 1: reflect actual logic. They take into account negatives and positives 201 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:10,560 Speaker 1: in a rational way. They reflect our long term goals. 202 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 1: And because when making this decision in this cold state 203 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 1: and choosing if this, then that when we're in this state, 204 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 1: because we're not three beers in watching our ex tongue 205 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,440 Speaker 1: past the bloke that we introduced her to, something very 206 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,240 Speaker 1: similar happened to me, then we're able to choose a 207 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:31,560 Speaker 1: far wiser course of action with far better consequences. In 208 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 1: this case, if I see my ex, I will smile 209 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 1: at her, then find someone else to talk to. If 210 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:42,319 Speaker 1: I feel uncomfortable, I will find the host and excuse myself. 211 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: Or I'll just vanish and then explain with a phone 212 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 1: call a little later on. That will probably be the 213 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: best course of action. Now, that would have been so 214 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 1: much better than what I actually did, which was to 215 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:57,840 Speaker 1: grab a guitar at of a living room and do 216 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 1: a version of more than Words from extrad but changing 217 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: the lyrics to include the names of both my ex 218 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:08,440 Speaker 1: and this fella rather loudly and serenading drunkenly a balcony 219 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 1: full of people who really did not want my vitriolic 220 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:12,120 Speaker 1: impression of Gary Sharon. 221 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 2: I wish that did not happen, but it did. 222 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 1: Ha. 223 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,320 Speaker 2: Well, it's okay. I'll get to live the rest of 224 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 2: my life not being that guy anymore. So that's important. 225 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,240 Speaker 2: So what is the process. 226 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,880 Speaker 1: Goal that I might be able to put around my training, 227 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,080 Speaker 1: because that's one I really really need because without me, 228 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 1: I think that's the corner start of it. If I'm 229 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:35,079 Speaker 1: not exercising, then I'm about as cohesive as a drop by. 230 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 1: I really kind of need that to start the day. 231 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:40,400 Speaker 1: So that if this, then that would be. If my 232 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 1: alarm goes off in the morning, then I walked to 233 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 1: the bathroom where I left my workout clothes so we 234 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:47,440 Speaker 1: don't wake anybody up. I'll get change, smash a coffee, 235 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 1: go downstairs, jump on the row of for twenty minutes. 236 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:51,160 Speaker 2: That's it. 237 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 1: Clinical no emotion, no chance for the procrastination monster to 238 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: grab the wheel, no chance for myself will to be unreliable. 239 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,440 Speaker 2: I got you, maun, I've got your got you, and 240 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 2: then drop me when I do the trustful like i'd 241 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 2: score camp. 242 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 1: Because even though that alarm goes off and I'm all 243 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 1: snuggle up in a big bed with Wolf and Ordery 244 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,960 Speaker 1: and that something. The snuggles are delicious. I'm sleepy, but 245 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 1: it's still a hot state, Isn't it still emotionally intense? 246 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: But if I remember that I've got this cold state 247 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 1: process goal, that's ultimately what will get me to live 248 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 1: my intentions and see the benefits of what it is 249 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 1: that I want to be in the world. I hope 250 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:35,960 Speaker 1: that wasn't too confusing, But now I've said it, I'm 251 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,719 Speaker 1: going to have to do it. So let me ask 252 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:42,080 Speaker 1: you this. Have a think about some decisions you've made 253 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:45,920 Speaker 1: in a hot state. Perhaps think ahead a bit and 254 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,840 Speaker 1: try to make some choices in a cold state, and 255 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 1: then put some process goals in there. Put a bit 256 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:55,679 Speaker 1: of if this, then that scaffolding around it, and just 257 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 1: see what happens. Could be something at work, could be 258 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 1: something with your partner, something with your kids. 259 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 2: If my kids have. 260 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 1: A tantrum, then I take a big box breath and 261 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 1: I'll do three of them right rather than being reactive 262 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,840 Speaker 1: things like that, and just see what happens. 263 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,560 Speaker 2: Just see what happens. Let me know what you think. 264 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,760 Speaker 2: I'd love to know. Thanks being a part of it. 265 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:20,440 Speaker 1: This episode was brought to you by Andy Maher on 266 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:23,559 Speaker 1: Audio post production to Hier made the music. My producer 267 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:26,520 Speaker 1: is Bree Steel. My executive function assistant is Monica Chapman 268 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,000 Speaker 1: and for every episode ever to get on the mailing list. 269 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:31,800 Speaker 1: To get in touch through the contact form easy as pie. 270 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,720 Speaker 1: Head to oshiginsburg dot com. That is oshagensburg dot com. 271 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.