WEBVTT - #272 Cubicle Confessions 0:00:00.860 --> 0:00:01.760 Do you know what I wish I had? 0:00:01.960 --> 0:00:02.340 What's that, Matt? 0:00:02.500 --> 0:00:02.660 Abs. 0:00:03.160 --> 0:00:03.960 Oh, wait, you've got abs. That's me. 0:00:04.180 --> 0:00:08.520 Go. I wish I had the confidence that some people 0:00:08.580 --> 0:00:10.320 have in public bathrooms. 0:00:10.980 --> 0:00:11.260 Go on. 0:00:12.000 --> 0:00:15.080 So here in the studio we have a toilet, a bathroom, 0:00:15.220 --> 0:00:18.860 if you will, on our floor. There are two cubicles 0:00:19.020 --> 0:00:20.880 where you can sit down and do a poo. 0:00:21.160 --> 0:00:22.100 Or scroll, whatever. 0:00:22.900 --> 0:00:24.260 Just hang out, have a break from us. 0:00:24.560 --> 0:00:24.799 Yeah. 0:00:25.220 --> 0:00:27.120 And I went in there and there was someone in 0:00:27.140 --> 0:00:29.770 the cubicle next to me I didn't know what this 0:00:29.830 --> 0:00:33.650 man looked like. I didn't know who it was. But 0:00:34.190 --> 0:00:37.730 I still had a level of reservation about I couldn't 0:00:37.770 --> 0:00:38.950 just freely shit. 0:00:39.670 --> 0:00:41.519 I've got the answer for this for you. I can 0:00:41.620 --> 0:00:45.839 solve this. It's called exposure therapy. You just must watch 0:00:45.900 --> 0:00:48.519 strangers shit from now on. Just stand in there. You 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:51.400 don't have to do it. Get used to being around it. 0:00:51.479 --> 0:00:54.840 Hang on. I wish I could just, the person next 0:00:54.860 --> 0:00:56.160 to me was just. 0:00:56.540 --> 0:00:57.100 Honking it? 0:00:57.380 --> 0:01:02.350 Just. Just didn't care. Whereas I was still like, oh, 0:01:02.370 --> 0:01:02.830 excuse me. 0:01:02.950 --> 0:01:04.990 You were waiting for the flush to be like. 0:01:05.510 --> 0:01:07.310 Yeah, I didn't want to make any noise. I wish 0:01:07.370 --> 0:01:09.690 I could just be as carefree as those people who 0:01:09.709 --> 0:01:13.050 go into a public cubicle, relax their sphincter and just 0:01:13.110 --> 0:01:14.789 make as much fucking noise as they want. 0:01:14.950 --> 0:01:18.150 It's worse when like you're working in a space where, 0:01:18.330 --> 0:01:20.210 say like an office. I used to work in an office, right? 0:01:20.250 --> 0:01:22.289 And you see the bathroom, you get up to go 0:01:22.310 --> 0:01:24.830 to the bathroom. You're in there, you know, so everyone 0:01:24.890 --> 0:01:26.650 knows you've gone to the bathroom. And then if anyone 0:01:26.690 --> 0:01:28.710 needs to go at the same time, it's like, fuck. 0:01:29.420 --> 0:01:32.280 I need to wait for the flush. That's your first push. 0:01:32.750 --> 0:01:32.890 Yep. 0:01:32.990 --> 0:01:37.970 Your second push, if it's like on board. Yeah. Preach, brother. Preach. 0:01:38.010 --> 0:01:39.510 There is a formula to doing this. 0:01:39.530 --> 0:01:42.090 Yeah, yeah. So you go flush. Yep. Then you go 0:01:43.130 --> 0:01:45.730 hand wash first because there's a little window there to 0:01:45.770 --> 0:01:48.610 get anything from the first toot. And then when that 0:01:48.670 --> 0:01:52.970 dry comes on. You just grab hold of the seat. 0:02:00.510 --> 0:02:00.990 That's it. 0:02:01.190 --> 0:02:05.800 I was just sitting there with a prolapsed asshole being like, whoo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:02:05.820 --> 0:02:07.080 I can't walk the same afterwards. 0:02:07.100 --> 0:02:08.920 That's why he's got hemorrhoids. 0:02:08.940 --> 0:02:11.180 Yeah, that's why he's got hemorrhoids. If there's music in 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:13.139 the bathroom, even better. Like when you go to a 0:02:13.180 --> 0:02:16.780 bathroom and there is music loud, you're like, relief. 0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:36.180 Because you're like, yeah, yes. Well, on that note, welcome 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:38.239 back to Two Doting Dads. I'm Matty J. 0:02:38.260 --> 0:02:38.800 And I'm Ash. 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:40.720 And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:41.959 the good, it is the bad. 0:02:42.020 --> 0:02:42.820 And the relatable. 0:02:42.919 --> 0:02:45.020 And we would never, ever give advice. 0:02:45.040 --> 0:02:47.320 Well, I just did about the toilet. That's okay, though. Yeah. 0:02:47.340 --> 0:02:48.280 That's just life advice. 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:50.280 We just say that. We don't really mean the words 0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:50.760 we say. 0:02:50.780 --> 0:02:50.860 What? 0:02:52.000 --> 0:02:52.940 Well, let's be honest. 0:02:53.280 --> 0:02:53.620 I do? 0:02:53.940 --> 0:02:54.620 Let's be honest. 0:02:54.680 --> 0:02:55.700 I mean everything I say. 0:02:55.780 --> 0:02:58.650 Yeah, but between you and me and Vic, we give 0:02:58.660 --> 0:02:59.160 a lot of advice. 0:02:59.750 --> 0:03:02.380 We do. We do fuck about a bit as well. Yeah. 0:03:02.500 --> 0:03:04.880 People know it's a joking advice, so use it at 0:03:04.900 --> 0:03:06.280 your own will. It's a suggestion. 0:03:06.320 --> 0:03:07.960 Should we change the intro to be like, we will 0:03:07.980 --> 0:03:09.820 give advice, but take it as you will? 0:03:09.860 --> 0:03:11.970 No, no. We say we don't give advice. We just 0:03:11.990 --> 0:03:12.660 give suggestions. 0:03:13.210 --> 0:03:13.450 Okay. 0:03:13.590 --> 0:03:14.459 That's my suggestion to you. 0:03:14.470 --> 0:03:15.770 We'll have to run that by the lawyers. 0:03:16.370 --> 0:03:16.730 Fuck them. 0:03:17.110 --> 0:03:17.730 Okay. 0:03:17.770 --> 0:03:18.250 They heard that. 0:03:18.330 --> 0:03:18.590 Sorry. 0:03:18.850 --> 0:03:20.510 We might not give advice, but I reckon we should 0:03:20.550 --> 0:03:23.820 start giving recommendations because I love a reco. 0:03:24.139 --> 0:03:24.559 What have you got? 0:03:25.070 --> 0:03:26.430 Off the top of your head, yeah. Hey, you can't 0:03:26.450 --> 0:03:26.889 come in here. 0:03:26.910 --> 0:03:27.450 What have you got? 0:03:27.470 --> 0:03:29.830 You can't come to a knife fight with nothing. 0:03:30.270 --> 0:03:31.190 Where do I start? 0:03:31.310 --> 0:03:33.790 I just realised my shirt wasn't buttoned up. I'm sorry. 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:35.420 I'm a bloody mess over here. You slut. 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:38.900 Vic's like, damn it. 0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:44.960 I can highly, highly, highly recommend a book called The 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:45.880 Secret Ingredient. 0:03:46.280 --> 0:03:47.060 Yeah, I wouldn't. 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:47.870 It's a shit book. 0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:51.050 The kids loved it. I love the rhyming. It's got 0:03:51.090 --> 0:03:51.809 lovely pictures. 0:03:51.830 --> 0:03:52.290 I wrote it. 0:03:52.370 --> 0:03:54.240 It's fun for the whole family. And it's got a 0:03:54.260 --> 0:03:54.600 great message. 0:03:54.680 --> 0:03:55.860 Is it still for sale? 0:03:56.340 --> 0:03:57.840 There are a few copies left, I think. 0:03:58.300 --> 0:03:58.720 Online? 0:03:59.020 --> 0:04:01.080 Yeah, Big W, $ 10. Why not? Oh, Amazon as well. 0:04:01.180 --> 0:04:01.720 Amazon's a good one. 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:02.280 Yeah, love that. 0:04:02.380 --> 0:04:05.520 But yeah, $ 10. 0:04:04.980 --> 0:04:05.660 It is a great book. 0:04:05.780 --> 0:04:06.100 Thank you. 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:07.880 It is a really good book. I have a recommendation. 0:04:08.040 --> 0:04:08.400 Great. 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:14.010 Traders. Oh, Traders. Traders, TV show. The Australian one? I 0:04:14.050 --> 0:04:16.250 keep hearing so much about this. It's the UK version 0:04:16.310 --> 0:04:16.870 on at the moment. 0:04:16.890 --> 0:04:19.470 Yeah, they came up with it first, right, so they 0:04:19.490 --> 0:04:20.370 do it the best. 0:04:20.570 --> 0:04:21.390 And there's just. 0:04:21.710 --> 0:04:22.370 The celebrity one? 0:04:22.750 --> 0:04:23.990 It's a celebrity one right now. 0:04:24.010 --> 0:04:25.029 With James Blunt? 0:04:25.130 --> 0:04:26.190 James Blunt is on it. 0:04:26.270 --> 0:04:27.250 Oh, he's great. 0:04:27.350 --> 0:04:28.570 Rob Beckett's on it. 0:04:28.790 --> 0:04:29.550 He's great too. 0:04:29.589 --> 0:04:31.570 He's a comedian. It's solid. 0:04:31.630 --> 0:04:32.650 Rob Beckett's fun. 0:04:32.670 --> 0:04:36.450 Solid cast. And my mum, it is just, it's all 0:04:36.490 --> 0:04:37.150 she thinks about. 0:04:37.290 --> 0:04:38.150 Did you show her Peep Show? 0:04:38.570 --> 0:04:38.950 Peep Show? 0:04:39.150 --> 0:04:40.470 I said to you the other day, you should show 0:04:40.510 --> 0:04:43.040 your mum Peep Show because one of the characters, it's 0:04:43.060 --> 0:04:44.419 a bit hard to watch to start with because it's 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:47.719 from POV. So it's like if you and I were roommates, 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:50.940 there's the dialogue, but then the inner dialogue of each character. 0:04:50.960 --> 0:04:52.700 It's a bit confusing to start with, but once you 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:53.460 start to watch it. 0:04:53.500 --> 0:04:53.980 Peep Show. 0:04:54.000 --> 0:04:56.600 It's called Peep Show. One of the characters is really uptight, 0:04:56.620 --> 0:04:58.779 but also really into history. 0:04:59.100 --> 0:05:00.099 Oh my God, is it me? 0:05:00.140 --> 0:05:03.520 Starling Grant. But it's... Fucking so funny. 0:05:03.580 --> 0:05:04.060 Stalingrad. 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:05.260 Stalingrad, sorry. 0:05:05.310 --> 0:05:05.640 Sorry. 0:05:05.670 --> 0:05:06.630 You're not uptight. 0:05:07.490 --> 0:05:12.090 You just corrected me with Stalin. He's like, say it right. 0:05:12.250 --> 0:05:14.890 How many people died in Stalingrad or whatever? 0:05:15.529 --> 0:05:18.750 In that particular battle? They had the 6th Army who 0:05:18.790 --> 0:05:22.669 was from Germany. There's about 600, no. 0:05:23.130 --> 0:05:24.810 I mean, he's just watched a whole doc on there. 0:05:24.810 --> 0:05:25.310 600,000, I think, died soldiers. 0:05:25.330 --> 0:05:34.070 This character uses Stalingrad. to try and pick up. Grud. Grud. 0:05:34.430 --> 0:05:36.510 To try and pick up. It's very funny. With this 0:05:36.610 --> 0:05:38.690 one woman, yeah, it's very good. 0:05:39.100 --> 0:05:41.120 What kind of world do you live in where history 0:05:41.180 --> 0:05:41.820 gets you laid? 0:05:42.420 --> 0:05:46.520 It didn't. Oh. Also, historians are like, no. 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:47.440 Oh. 0:05:47.620 --> 0:05:48.420 No. 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:52.770 So my mum and Laura, it's their time together. I'm 0:05:52.830 --> 0:05:54.490 kind of on the outer because I can't sit through 0:05:54.510 --> 0:05:55.890 a full episode because I get distracted. 0:05:56.510 --> 0:05:56.870 Of Traders. 0:05:56.890 --> 0:05:56.990 Yes. 0:05:57.320 --> 0:05:59.760 Yeah, I kind of like dip in and out and 0:06:00.200 --> 0:06:01.599 I don't like to sit on the couch for too long. 0:06:01.640 --> 0:06:03.820 I'm like. You need to be tested. 0:06:03.920 --> 0:06:07.480 Yeah, totally. And so they watch it together. They love it. 0:06:07.500 --> 0:06:07.900 They love it. 0:06:07.900 --> 0:06:08.820 I've had good things. 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:10.700 It's really good. So anyone wants a little show to 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:12.060 watch together with your mumsies? 0:06:12.740 --> 0:06:13.380 Traders. 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:14.600 Any records from you? 0:06:14.620 --> 0:06:15.020 Peep show. 0:06:15.320 --> 0:06:15.720 Peep show? 0:06:15.940 --> 0:06:17.140 Not for kids. Carry on. 0:06:17.170 --> 0:06:17.940 That's all we got. 0:06:18.380 --> 0:06:21.190 Okay, I will see you next time on What Does 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:21.820 Dad Recommend? 0:06:22.970 --> 0:06:25.450 Another recommendation would be this podcast. 0:06:25.550 --> 0:06:26.850 Yeah, very self-indulgent. 0:06:26.870 --> 0:06:27.469 They're already listening. 0:06:27.950 --> 0:06:29.650 Ash, we've got a message. 0:06:30.050 --> 0:06:30.770 We've got heaps of messages. 0:06:30.790 --> 0:06:32.529 We've got a message that I'm going to read you 0:06:32.930 --> 0:06:37.130 off the back of. Adota ran the half marathon recently. 0:06:37.250 --> 0:06:38.010 Oh, congratulations. 0:06:38.029 --> 0:06:39.890 They had the marathon in Melbourne. 0:06:39.910 --> 0:06:41.790 I told you I've signed up for three marathons and 0:06:41.830 --> 0:06:42.370 run none of them. 0:06:42.610 --> 0:06:43.570 I thought you were about to say you signed up 0:06:43.589 --> 0:06:44.830 for another marathon. I was like, fuck it. 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:45.070 Three. 0:06:45.100 --> 0:06:45.240 What? 0:06:45.630 --> 0:06:47.450 I did three and I haven't run any of them. 0:06:47.570 --> 0:06:48.610 Money bags over here? 0:06:48.650 --> 0:06:48.990 No, no. 0:06:49.420 --> 0:06:50.480 No. Money bags over here? 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:50.820 No, no. 0:06:50.860 --> 0:06:52.600 Burning money. 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:56.560 I can't commit. I can't commit. I've got that Chinese 0:06:56.600 --> 0:06:58.260 money now. I've got that Chinese money now. 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:01.850 I haven't run for about four weeks and I went 0:07:01.870 --> 0:07:03.910 for a run when it was really hot the other day. 0:07:04.410 --> 0:07:07.510 And it was just awful. It's such a bad. 0:07:07.529 --> 0:07:09.390 Why would you run when it's so hot? 0:07:09.490 --> 0:07:11.930 Because I hadn't run, I hadn't done any exercise in 0:07:11.970 --> 0:07:13.870 four weeks and I was like, oh, I feel so eggy, 0:07:13.910 --> 0:07:14.750 I need to do something. 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:15.630 You need to be tested. 0:07:15.770 --> 0:07:20.540 And I had the kids all day and Laura came 0:07:20.580 --> 0:07:21.520 home and I said, can I just go for a 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:22.960 half an hour run? And she was like, yeah, get 0:07:22.980 --> 0:07:24.800 out of here. And then like 20 metres down the 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:26.600 road I was like, ah, fucking hate my life, this 0:07:26.660 --> 0:07:28.080 is so shit, hate every second. 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:29.640 I know, I feel like the run clubs are dying 0:07:29.820 --> 0:07:32.480 out for sure. They're definitely not. And now they're bird 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:35.100 watching clubs. That's what I'm into. When I go for 0:07:35.140 --> 0:07:37.440 my mentee bee walks, I see a lot of people birdwatching. 0:07:37.480 --> 0:07:38.420 Don't rat me up. 0:07:39.140 --> 0:07:43.800 Far out. Back to Simone. She says, Simone. 0:07:43.940 --> 0:07:44.520 Hello, Simone. 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:45.780 I just wanted to give you guys. 0:07:46.100 --> 0:07:46.559 Quick question. 0:07:46.580 --> 0:07:46.920 Go on. 0:07:47.140 --> 0:07:48.780 If she was born a boy, would it be Simon? 0:07:48.780 --> 0:07:51.040 100%. Just wanted to give you guys a shout out 0:07:51.080 --> 0:07:53.740 and say thanks for getting me through my first ever 0:07:53.980 --> 0:07:56.840 half marathon. Yeah, round of applause. 0:07:56.860 --> 0:07:58.900 Technically, we ran a marathon too, guys. Yeah. 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:00.720 There you go. It's not all wasted on you, Ash. 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:04.090 the route over the weekend i ran the melbourne nike 0:08:04.210 --> 0:08:07.870 marathon festival not sponsored i'd never even run 21 kilometers 0:08:07.910 --> 0:08:10.670 before but i've been training towards it and made it 0:08:10.710 --> 0:08:13.250 to the start line i started my running journey listening 0:08:13.300 --> 0:08:15.820 to music but somewhere along the way i switched to 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:18.560 podcast So I saved up the last few of your 0:08:18.620 --> 0:08:21.360 potties for the race and you guys kept me company 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:23.540 for the two and a half hours I was on 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:24.120 the course. 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:26.200 I was going to say save the last few. I'm like, 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:28.800 how long did it take you? Yeah, it does take 0:08:28.860 --> 0:08:32.880 a while. What? With like an hour long episodes and 0:08:32.900 --> 0:08:33.680 you said a few. 0:08:34.100 --> 0:08:34.680 Wow. 0:08:35.220 --> 0:08:36.800 But then she clarified two and a half is good. 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:37.800 That's a good time. 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:42.809 Simone, I apologise for the rudeness of Ash so far. 0:08:43.150 --> 0:08:45.890 I also think it's a brilliant idea, but finish the text. 0:08:46.370 --> 0:08:48.550 So while I was out there questioning my life choices, 0:08:48.630 --> 0:08:50.920 battling my dodgy knee and wondering why the hell I 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:54.600 signed up for this, I had you legends in my ears. 0:08:54.980 --> 0:08:57.100 Thanks for the laughs, the distraction and the company. You 0:08:57.140 --> 0:08:58.560 might not have known it, but you helped me get 0:08:58.580 --> 0:08:59.860 across that finish line. 0:08:59.880 --> 0:09:00.460 That's good. 0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:01.470 Isn't that beautiful? 0:09:02.250 --> 0:09:05.350 And the last few eps have been so loose and 0:09:05.410 --> 0:09:08.489 like rollercoaster. Yeah, rollercoaster. 0:09:08.510 --> 0:09:08.969 That's new. 0:09:09.470 --> 0:09:10.530 So that would have been funny. 0:09:10.650 --> 0:09:11.910 Are you pointing a term here? 0:09:12.290 --> 0:09:13.850 No, I think I've heard it on my phone. 0:09:13.950 --> 0:09:14.330 Delete it. 0:09:14.390 --> 0:09:18.130 Get it out. Remove it immediately. 0:09:18.150 --> 0:09:21.370 Well, there you go, Simone. I'm very proud of you. 0:09:21.450 --> 0:09:22.310 Yes, well done. 0:09:22.390 --> 0:09:24.450 Yeah, that's an achievement, especially as a mum. 0:09:24.870 --> 0:09:27.810 Yeah, to sign up and actually do it is an achievement. 0:09:27.910 --> 0:09:29.270 Yeah, I couldn't. 0:09:29.429 --> 0:09:32.480 But, yeah, cool. I've got one here for you. 0:09:32.500 --> 0:09:32.950 What have you got? 0:09:33.179 --> 0:09:37.400 It's in regards to the foreskin washing episode. Imagine running 0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:38.439 a marathon listening to that. 0:09:38.580 --> 0:09:38.840 Oh, God. 0:09:40.000 --> 0:09:44.680 So this comes from a dota, a fellow uncircumcised dota 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:45.500 by the name of Zach. 0:09:45.620 --> 0:09:46.089 Hi, Zach. 0:09:46.140 --> 0:09:49.250 Hi, Zach. And congratulations on still having your foreskin. 0:09:49.270 --> 0:09:49.810 Yeah, well done. 0:09:49.830 --> 0:09:50.929 Yes, thank you. 0:09:50.950 --> 0:09:52.010 This must be nice. 0:09:52.070 --> 0:09:55.150 He's challenged me to use mint and tea tree body wash. 0:09:55.230 --> 0:09:57.570 I'm not putting mint or tea anywhere near the end 0:09:57.590 --> 0:09:58.229 of my cock. 0:09:58.410 --> 0:10:00.280 There's a couple of, and this is not... an attack 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:02.239 on the gays because we all know they are the 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:03.439 backbone of this podcast. 0:10:03.580 --> 0:10:04.500 We are allies. 0:10:04.720 --> 0:10:07.060 And we are allies. But there's a couple of messages 0:10:07.100 --> 0:10:08.980 who are like, Their foreskin. 0:10:09.179 --> 0:10:11.500 Yeah, they said they'd clean your foreskin. 0:10:11.540 --> 0:10:11.920 I know. 0:10:12.380 --> 0:10:13.620 I got a message. Don't you worry. I get a 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:15.760 message every week. Wait, wait, wait. 0:10:15.780 --> 0:10:16.559 What did they say? 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:19.240 They were like, I'll clean your foreskin, Ash. Or like 0:10:19.260 --> 0:10:21.120 I'll get a DM that says I'd love to clean 0:10:21.179 --> 0:10:21.840 her foreskin. 0:10:22.580 --> 0:10:23.300 That's lovely. 0:10:23.360 --> 0:10:25.180 Yeah. Honestly, compliment. Yeah. 0:10:25.450 --> 0:10:27.410 But I will say I've used that mint and tea 0:10:27.429 --> 0:10:28.110 tree body wash. 0:10:28.210 --> 0:10:28.750 Whoa. 0:10:28.890 --> 0:10:29.470 On your foreskin. 0:10:29.610 --> 0:10:32.750 No. It's a really nice body wash, but it does 0:10:32.809 --> 0:10:34.670 leave your skin feeling tingly. 0:10:34.690 --> 0:10:36.189 So the fact that he suggested it. 0:10:36.780 --> 0:10:38.780 I feel like it maybe will verge on the side 0:10:38.830 --> 0:10:41.510 of that guy who put like those popping candy. 0:10:41.530 --> 0:10:42.929 He put some deep heat in there too while you 0:10:42.950 --> 0:10:43.250 were at it. 0:10:43.370 --> 0:10:45.070 I know. That's pretty extreme. 0:10:45.309 --> 0:10:47.349 Yeah. Mint. Yeah. 0:10:47.510 --> 0:10:49.290 Don't do it, Ash. I won't allow you. 0:10:49.370 --> 0:10:50.270 Do it as an experiment. 0:10:51.090 --> 0:10:51.750 Oh, wow. 0:10:51.790 --> 0:10:52.550 Get Dan to do it. 0:10:52.809 --> 0:10:53.630 Is it actually? 0:10:53.650 --> 0:10:54.250 Yeah, okay. 0:10:54.350 --> 0:10:57.050 You have to remember if it was. 0:10:57.330 --> 0:10:58.910 I don't want to ask if it is or it isn't. 0:10:59.590 --> 0:11:01.429 I don't want to ask. 0:11:01.630 --> 0:11:02.530 He sides with Ash. 0:11:03.460 --> 0:11:03.880 I knew it. 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:06.500 You wish you could have yours back. 0:11:06.540 --> 0:11:07.020 Get it out. 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:07.500 Come on. 0:11:09.710 --> 0:11:10.090 Today. 0:11:10.110 --> 0:11:13.710 No, I don't want to disappoint everyone. Look, I'm not 0:11:13.730 --> 0:11:14.429 going to try it. 0:11:14.809 --> 0:11:16.810 Look for anyone who may be new here. 0:11:16.830 --> 0:11:16.930 Sorry? 0:11:17.370 --> 0:11:19.809 Oh, I just said missing out. You're going to miss out. 0:11:20.110 --> 0:11:22.960 Okay, thanks, Vick. Vick's like, send me a video of it. 0:11:23.370 --> 0:11:24.750 No, it's really nice. 0:11:25.100 --> 0:11:25.600 What do I do? 0:11:25.620 --> 0:11:26.160 What do you do? 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:26.780 Do you dip it in? 0:11:27.059 --> 0:11:28.600 No, no, you put it on a loofah and you're 0:11:28.620 --> 0:11:29.740 just putting it over your whole body. 0:11:29.940 --> 0:11:31.859 A loofah? Wow. 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:32.679 A loofah bread. 0:11:32.900 --> 0:11:33.880 How do you wash your body? 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:35.300 With my hands. 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:37.059 With my hands. No loofahs. 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:41.550 Dan always buys a new loofah. What's a loofah? It's 0:11:41.570 --> 0:11:41.740 like a. 0:11:41.730 --> 0:11:43.750 Like that fluffy thing that you put your soap in. 0:11:43.929 --> 0:11:44.510 Oh, yeah. 0:11:44.530 --> 0:11:44.929 Scrubber. 0:11:45.090 --> 0:11:45.330 Yeah. 0:11:45.650 --> 0:11:46.309 You have a scrubber? 0:11:46.470 --> 0:11:48.330 That's there, but I don't know if it's April's or mine. 0:11:48.370 --> 0:11:49.770 No one uses it. We don't know whose it is. 0:11:49.770 --> 0:11:51.610 Sometimes if there was a loofah there, I'd use it 0:11:51.650 --> 0:11:53.010 on the butt crack and I'd be like, oh. 0:11:53.030 --> 0:11:55.760 That's nice. There's one hanging off one of the hot 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:58.800 or cold faucets. But I don't know if it's mine 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:00.439 or April's. No one's afraid. I don't know. 0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:01.080 What do you mean? 0:12:01.140 --> 0:12:02.660 She's sitting there. I think it must be April's. It's 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:03.080 not mine. 0:12:03.100 --> 0:12:06.319 Get a new one. It's not yours. It's April's. How 0:12:06.340 --> 0:12:07.060 many people in your shower? 0:12:07.179 --> 0:12:08.939 I don't know. I'm going to ask April when I 0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:10.559 get home whose is it because I've never seen her 0:12:10.660 --> 0:12:10.920 use it. 0:12:12.840 --> 0:12:16.120 Someone's broken in planting a loofah. 0:12:16.220 --> 0:12:18.360 We're a non-loofah household. 0:12:18.420 --> 0:12:19.600 April's trying to suggest to you. 0:12:20.210 --> 0:12:21.450 I'm fucking dead. 0:12:21.490 --> 0:12:23.610 Then she gets the mint and the tea fucking soaked out. 0:12:23.650 --> 0:12:24.809 She's like, Victoria, you just dip your. 0:12:24.750 --> 0:12:24.969 Dick in it. 0:12:24.970 --> 0:12:27.319 She's like, bring those gays over and clean up horses. 0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:29.740 Here's a tub of mint and dip your dick in it. 0:12:29.940 --> 0:12:30.839 Things are a fucking mess. 0:12:31.020 --> 0:12:32.900 Yeah. It's like, I'll walk out of there and my 0:12:32.940 --> 0:12:33.920 fucking dick's on fire. 0:12:34.380 --> 0:12:38.570 Thanks. For anyone who is new here, we have had 0:12:38.590 --> 0:12:40.630 a few listeners join us. This is an episode where 0:12:40.670 --> 0:12:43.150 we attack the dilemmas from the doters. 0:12:43.190 --> 0:12:45.290 Yeah, it's about you guys. So we appreciate you sending 0:12:45.309 --> 0:12:45.710 them in. 0:12:46.170 --> 0:12:49.170 And every now and then we'll cross over to Ash's foreskin. 0:12:49.450 --> 0:12:50.010 And come back. 0:12:50.190 --> 0:12:51.230 And come back to the dilemmas. 0:12:51.250 --> 0:12:52.810 It's a hell of a journey. 0:12:52.910 --> 0:12:58.050 And actually, I've missed out on the last few housekeeping 0:12:58.150 --> 0:12:58.770 apps because I'm absent. 0:12:58.790 --> 0:13:01.590 Too many holidays. I know. She's a jet setter. That's 0:13:01.610 --> 0:13:01.930 for sure. 0:13:02.250 --> 0:13:05.390 Speaking of jet setting, Adota did ask for some tips 0:13:05.630 --> 0:13:06.350 on Vietnam. 0:13:06.630 --> 0:13:07.170 Oh, yeah, okay. 0:13:07.429 --> 0:13:09.930 So if you head to my Instagram, Vic.TV, there are 0:13:09.990 --> 0:13:12.849 many posts on my Vietnam trip and where I went 0:13:12.990 --> 0:13:13.530 and what to do. 0:13:13.690 --> 0:13:15.410 There is so many things to do in Vietnam. I 0:13:15.450 --> 0:13:16.910 can highly, highly, highly recommend it. 0:13:16.929 --> 0:13:17.429 Hanoi? 0:13:18.110 --> 0:13:18.550 Hoi An? 0:13:18.770 --> 0:13:19.390 That's close. 0:13:19.650 --> 0:13:22.030 There's a lot. It's quite a big country. People forget. 0:13:22.580 --> 0:13:24.050 And foo cock is they say it's the. 0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:24.819 Foos cock? 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:25.660 Oh, God, here we go. 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:28.480 Does he use tea and lemon on his cock? 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:30.790 I don't know if I'm pronouncing that terribly because it's 0:13:30.830 --> 0:13:32.189 the same as like fur. 0:13:32.670 --> 0:13:33.910 It's like P-H-O, you know. 0:13:33.950 --> 0:13:34.430 Fat cock. 0:13:34.470 --> 0:13:34.970 Fur cock. 0:13:36.690 --> 0:13:39.420 But it's in the Gulf of Thailand so it's beautiful 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:41.720 white sand and tropical waters. 0:13:41.340 --> 0:13:43.000 And they say it's like the Maldives of Asia. 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:44.620 But, yeah. 0:13:44.870 --> 0:13:46.929 Can highly, highly recommend to go. There's so much to 0:13:46.970 --> 0:13:49.510 do with kids. A million theme parks, water parks. 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:51.559 The good thing is you can start at Ho Chi Minh, 0:13:51.580 --> 0:13:54.160 which is a main city. You can travel all the 0:13:54.220 --> 0:13:56.199 way up the coast to Hoi An and then fly 0:13:56.240 --> 0:13:58.200 home from there. So you can do it. It's honestly 0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:00.470 so much bigger than people give it credit for. It's 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:01.689 really thin, long and skinny. 0:14:01.710 --> 0:14:06.450 I have to ask because you stayed at a hotel 0:14:06.750 --> 0:14:10.440 and you stayed at an Airbnb, which is better with kids? Resort. 0:14:10.700 --> 0:14:11.000 Yeah. 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:11.560 All the way. 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:11.840 Agreed. 0:14:11.980 --> 0:14:14.260 And we're going to do Bali next year and we're 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:15.939 going to just book a resort, not an Airbnb. 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:17.900 Have you signed off on that trip? Yeah. 0:14:17.990 --> 0:14:20.070 It's a long way away. What dates are you thinking? 0:14:20.110 --> 0:14:21.950 The last three we didn't even know were coming up. 0:14:22.570 --> 0:14:24.110 I gave you so many notices. 0:14:24.170 --> 0:14:25.810 And then you went to Ulladulla for that one day. 0:14:25.830 --> 0:14:27.490 For the record, what dates is it? 0:14:28.050 --> 0:14:31.130 It's the June, July holidays. The winter holidays. 0:14:31.170 --> 0:14:33.820 Not for me. We are recording. We're recording those. 0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:34.700 We record every day. 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:36.380 Feels like it's Sunday. 0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:37.229 Wow. 0:14:37.550 --> 0:14:38.570 Oh, my gosh. 0:14:38.690 --> 0:14:39.190 I'm joking. 0:14:39.550 --> 0:14:44.150 Speaking of Bali, Ash right now will be in Bali. 0:14:44.370 --> 0:14:44.730 Will I? 0:14:45.010 --> 0:14:45.830 Also a great family destination. 0:14:45.850 --> 0:14:46.990 No, I would have got back yesterday. 0:14:47.250 --> 0:14:47.990 Well, this is awkward. 0:14:48.010 --> 0:14:50.840 So, yeah, I still love it. How was it? How 0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:51.170 was it? 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:52.300 Where were you going in Bali? 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:53.320 We were just going to do some bonging. 0:14:54.070 --> 0:14:56.510 Oh, the best place in all of Bali. 0:14:56.530 --> 0:14:57.729 Yeah, we don't do mainland anymore. 0:14:57.750 --> 0:14:58.530 It's disgusting. 0:14:58.550 --> 0:14:59.420 We don't do the mainland. 0:14:59.560 --> 0:15:01.600 Look, we can straight off that mainland because it's full 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:04.400 of fucking bogans. You get on the bogan bus and 0:15:04.420 --> 0:15:08.150 then you get off at another suburb of Sydney. 0:15:08.650 --> 0:15:09.070 Wow. 0:15:09.090 --> 0:15:09.690 It's terrible. 0:15:09.710 --> 0:15:10.870 Why didn't you go on school holidays? 0:15:11.190 --> 0:15:14.380 I was in China and Singapore. We didn't go. This 0:15:14.420 --> 0:15:16.180 was a Jetstar job that I did. 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:20.500 It must be nice to have that kind of a lifestyle. 0:15:21.380 --> 0:15:24.340 You can talk. I mean, where's next? You can't talk. 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:29.990 It is time for this now. Now you need us 0:15:30.090 --> 0:15:31.370 more than ever. 0:15:31.490 --> 0:15:34.910 Know that we still have each other. You can send 0:15:35.050 --> 0:15:38.070 us your doting dilemma. You can send us. 0:15:37.990 --> 0:15:42.890 Your doting dilemma. Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella. 0:15:43.170 --> 0:15:48.220 Doting dilemma. Doting dilemma is a great song. It's better 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:50.460 than the original. Do you want me to start? I'll start. 0:15:50.660 --> 0:15:50.920 Please. 0:15:51.020 --> 0:15:52.840 I've got Deb here because it's a short one. I 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:57.230 don't want to read too much. Deb, Deborah, some would say. 0:15:57.760 --> 0:16:00.450 One of our boomer doters. We do love the boomers. 0:16:01.590 --> 0:16:02.610 Don't pull that face. 0:16:02.850 --> 0:16:03.170 What? 0:16:03.670 --> 0:16:06.610 We do. We love all doters, regardless. 0:16:06.150 --> 0:16:11.440 Of age and generation. What do you do when a 0:16:11.440 --> 0:16:15.680 two-year-old arches their back? Sorry, that doesn't make sense. What 0:16:15.860 --> 0:16:19.750 to do with the two-year-old's arched back throwback? Throwback. 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:25.190 Poor Tima, me, has no idea except old school methods, lol. 0:16:25.450 --> 0:16:28.940 Okay, can we reword that? Okay, I think Deborah is 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:33.320 trying to say, shush, you shut up over there. This 0:16:33.380 --> 0:16:36.110 is not very nice. Someone's fucked the sentence up and 0:16:36.290 --> 0:16:37.910 I get the blame for not being able to read. 0:16:37.950 --> 0:16:39.790 No, that's how she wrote it verbatim. 0:16:39.810 --> 0:16:40.890 That's an attack, Debra. 0:16:40.910 --> 0:16:44.750 Fucking Deb. We love you, Deb, but get your sentences 0:16:44.810 --> 0:16:47.870 right because I'm like Ron Burgundy. I'll read it off there. 0:16:48.350 --> 0:16:51.130 I'll read it just off the thing. It's social media. 0:16:51.170 --> 0:16:51.910 It's slang. 0:16:52.170 --> 0:16:53.860 Yeah, she's like abbreviating. 0:16:53.910 --> 0:16:54.320 Yeah. 0:16:54.740 --> 0:16:57.180 She doesn't know how to abbreviate. She does. 0:16:57.220 --> 0:16:57.840 She wrote lol. 0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:00.340 She probably thinks it means lots of love. 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:01.820 Maybe actually. 0:17:01.900 --> 0:17:04.619 Also, Deb is a regular commenter in the Facebook group. 0:17:04.640 --> 0:17:05.500 So shout out to Deb. 0:17:05.520 --> 0:17:06.459 She's amazing. 0:17:06.480 --> 0:17:09.060 So any attacks on Deb, I cannot sit here in silence. 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:10.360 Fair. Sorry, Deb. 0:17:10.380 --> 0:17:10.660 Sorry. 0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:13.520 So what would you do if the toddler arches their back? 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:16.159 So we're talking about what do you do if a 0:17:16.220 --> 0:17:20.440 two-year-old or toddler throws their back, throws and arches their 0:17:20.460 --> 0:17:23.340 back like they're obviously having a meltdown sort of thing. 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:24.560 And she said. 0:17:24.580 --> 0:17:25.560 Smack him. 0:17:26.060 --> 0:17:28.000 Well said. Joking, joking, joking, joking. That's what she might 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:30.780 be doing because she says she's a grandma and has 0:17:30.900 --> 0:17:33.720 no idea except old school methods. So, hey, she's come 0:17:33.740 --> 0:17:36.629 to us for advice. Matt just gave it. 0:17:36.970 --> 0:17:38.990 I feel like back in the day it would have 0:17:39.010 --> 0:17:41.129 been such common practice just to give the kid a 0:17:41.170 --> 0:17:41.969 big old wallop. 0:17:42.150 --> 0:17:44.450 Yeah, because they do go like real stiff, especially if 0:17:44.470 --> 0:17:45.729 you're getting into a car seat. 0:17:45.570 --> 0:17:46.810 And you're like that is. 0:17:46.850 --> 0:17:48.570 And as a grandma you wouldn't have as much strength 0:17:48.630 --> 0:17:49.730 as if you were like a younger person. 0:17:49.750 --> 0:17:50.770 That's a blatant. 0:17:51.230 --> 0:17:52.629 Some grandmas might not. 0:17:52.650 --> 0:17:53.570 Deb is very fit. 0:17:53.590 --> 0:17:56.030 She could be like a muscle debt. She could be 0:17:56.070 --> 0:17:58.390 like able to hit the gym six days a week. 0:17:59.050 --> 0:18:01.640 I'm just thinking of myself in like 20, 30 years' time, 0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:03.380 how I would go and probably not very well. 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:05.520 There's not a whole lot I could really suggest other 0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:08.020 than like what do you do? Try and bring them down. 0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:09.180 Can I suggest? 0:18:09.500 --> 0:18:10.260 Actually, I've got one. 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:10.680 Okay. 0:18:11.710 --> 0:18:13.530 If I was Jen, the Oracle, what would I do? 0:18:13.530 --> 0:18:13.810 Oh, damn it. 0:18:13.810 --> 0:18:15.449 That's what I was doing. I would get down to 0:18:15.470 --> 0:18:17.470 their level and say, get in the fucking car. 0:18:17.490 --> 0:18:18.810 No, get down and go. I wonder what it would 0:18:18.830 --> 0:18:20.879 be like if you got in the car. And we 0:18:20.900 --> 0:18:22.280 got to drive where we were going. 0:18:22.380 --> 0:18:25.800 Palms open and say, I can see that you're really frustrated. 0:18:25.820 --> 0:18:30.919 I would also suggest prepping the kid beforehand so that 0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:33.820 they know what's happening because kids start to fight back 0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:37.080 and do those sort of things when they're caught unaware. 0:18:37.200 --> 0:18:39.260 Whereas if they know that it's coming, it can kind 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:41.960 of help ease them or ease the anxiety about what's 0:18:41.980 --> 0:18:42.680 about to happen. 0:18:44.180 --> 0:18:45.310 Or if all else fails, bribe. 0:18:45.369 --> 0:18:46.459 This is what I would do. Please. 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:46.700 Please. 0:18:47.119 --> 0:18:49.949 If I was putting that child into a car to 0:18:49.970 --> 0:18:55.129 go to somewhere for that child, i.e. park, kids party, whatever, 0:18:55.190 --> 0:18:57.110 something to entertain them and they did that, I would 0:18:57.130 --> 0:18:59.560 just go, look, I don't want to go. I'm going 0:18:59.600 --> 0:19:03.040 for you. But if you don't want to go, then 0:19:03.100 --> 0:19:03.780 why would we go? 0:19:03.800 --> 0:19:07.320 I actually think I used that exact psychology on Louis 0:19:07.340 --> 0:19:07.780 this morning. 0:19:07.800 --> 0:19:09.400 Yeah, I don't do any of this shit for me. 0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:10.400 I'm doing it for you. 0:19:10.420 --> 0:19:11.570 About wiping his bum. 0:19:12.020 --> 0:19:13.600 Yeah, like my kids are like, I'm trying to get 0:19:13.619 --> 0:19:15.420 them ready to go out the door. And I'm like, 0:19:15.510 --> 0:19:17.590 and they're just fucking around. I'm like, it's simple. I 0:19:17.630 --> 0:19:18.970 don't want to go. Me and your mom want to 0:19:19.030 --> 0:19:21.530 stay here. This is fun for us, but you guys 0:19:21.550 --> 0:19:22.740 are bored. So we're doing this for you. 0:19:22.750 --> 0:19:23.470 How do they respond? 0:19:23.790 --> 0:19:28.410 Shut up, Dad. Yeah, okay. Nah, it's usually met with, oh, shit, okay, yeah. 0:19:28.950 --> 0:19:29.620 Oh, I like that. 0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:30.460 Yeah, give it a go. 0:19:30.660 --> 0:19:31.760 I haven't tried that. 0:19:31.780 --> 0:19:32.859 It's a suggestion, not advice. 0:19:33.060 --> 0:19:33.320 Thank you. 0:19:33.340 --> 0:19:33.899 Give it a go. 0:19:33.900 --> 0:19:34.199 Thank you. 0:19:34.560 --> 0:19:35.780 Because if you're right, you're not going to the park 0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:36.020 for you. 0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:39.580 Actually, just quickly, I got asked this morning, I was 0:19:39.859 --> 0:19:42.920 getting my coffee and there's a family next to me 0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:46.990 with a newborn child. Child was very happy, smiling, looked 0:19:47.010 --> 0:19:49.470 at me and I was like, what a gorgeous boy 0:19:49.550 --> 0:19:51.520 you have there. And they were like, thank you. 0:19:51.660 --> 0:19:51.920 Creep. 0:19:51.940 --> 0:19:54.699 And they said, I do feel creep whenever I'm like, 0:19:54.720 --> 0:19:55.359 it's a beautiful baby. 0:19:55.440 --> 0:19:57.680 What a delicious child. 0:19:57.780 --> 0:19:59.619 No, they said, oh, do you have kids? And I said, yeah, 0:19:59.640 --> 0:20:00.240 I've got three. 0:20:00.260 --> 0:20:05.220 Father of the year. Yeah. You definitely went, well, funny 0:20:05.240 --> 0:20:08.890 you asked that because I'm actually father of the year. 0:20:09.590 --> 0:20:11.270 He carries it around. 0:20:11.369 --> 0:20:13.130 And they didn't even give out trophies. He just made 0:20:13.210 --> 0:20:14.330 one himself like that one up there. 0:20:14.780 --> 0:20:16.700 No, and they said, you know, it is the age 0:20:16.859 --> 0:20:19.750 old hierarchy. Who's got older kids slash more kids. And 0:20:19.770 --> 0:20:21.330 they were like, what's it like with three? And I 0:20:21.369 --> 0:20:25.929 was like, well, let me explain to you. And I 0:20:26.030 --> 0:20:29.830 reckon time goes so much quicker with three. 0:20:29.850 --> 0:20:31.930 It goes, it goes fast with two. 0:20:32.450 --> 0:20:33.650 Yeah, I find life's going so fast. 0:20:33.670 --> 0:20:34.859 Don't even worry about it. 0:20:34.869 --> 0:20:37.050 Lenny's almost turning four. I just can't believe that. 0:20:37.109 --> 0:20:39.520 I know. Macy goes to school next year. Little Macy. 0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:40.800 I know. 0:20:40.980 --> 0:20:41.580 She's not ready. 0:20:41.619 --> 0:20:43.560 She's going to look so cute in her uniform. 0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:45.679 Yeah, she was walking around in an Oscars uniform the 0:20:45.700 --> 0:20:46.080 other day. 0:20:46.119 --> 0:20:48.020 Yeah, you should have done this. 0:20:48.060 --> 0:20:50.520 You told us twice. I'll tell you one more fucking time. 0:20:51.700 --> 0:20:54.090 Yeah, I would say, sorry, Deb, to round that off. 0:20:54.369 --> 0:20:55.190 I think we're done with Deb. 0:20:55.250 --> 0:20:55.470 Okay. 0:20:57.030 --> 0:20:58.929 I think you did enough damage on that one. 0:20:59.540 --> 0:21:03.879 Good. Let's damage the next one. I don't know how 0:21:03.920 --> 0:21:04.480 to damage your story. 0:21:04.500 --> 0:21:05.900 Speaking of damage, toilet damage. 0:21:06.140 --> 0:21:07.560 Speaking of damage, let's damage someone else's. 0:21:07.580 --> 0:21:09.960 Okay. This one was shared on the Facebook group, Ash, 0:21:10.000 --> 0:21:11.119 and I'll keep it anonymous. 0:21:11.140 --> 0:21:12.669 People can just go and look for it. 0:21:13.280 --> 0:21:15.180 They can if they want to. Oh, join the Facebook group. 0:21:16.109 --> 0:21:16.720 It's thriving. 0:21:16.790 --> 0:21:17.290 Very good. 0:21:17.310 --> 0:21:17.670 It's thriving. 0:21:18.430 --> 0:21:21.110 First time toilet training and I'm in need of some advice. 0:21:21.910 --> 0:21:25.340 Come to the right place. suggestions. My daughter is two 0:21:25.359 --> 0:21:29.320 and a half, has absolutely nailed doing wheeze in the toilet, 0:21:29.340 --> 0:21:32.760 but pooing is a completely different story. When she was 0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:35.540 wearing nappies, she would usually do one to two poos 0:21:35.600 --> 0:21:38.139 a day. Now we're finding that she's holding on for 0:21:38.180 --> 0:21:40.719 a couple of days and then hiding somewhere to do 0:21:40.760 --> 0:21:43.159 a poo in her undies. We'll often catch her squatting 0:21:43.220 --> 0:21:45.620 somewhere in the house and take her to the toilet. 0:21:46.000 --> 0:21:48.219 She'll then sit there and try, but she says she 0:21:48.260 --> 0:21:50.520 can't go. Then literally two minutes later, she'll do a 0:21:50.580 --> 0:21:53.300 poo in her undies. We use the reward system. 0:21:54.040 --> 0:21:55.980 We used a reward system. We tried prizes. 0:21:56.119 --> 0:21:57.120 I'm trying to read it, Vic. 0:21:57.460 --> 0:22:00.369 I was just trying to help you. 0:22:00.410 --> 0:22:03.129 How does that feel? How does that feel there, big guy? 0:22:04.170 --> 0:22:06.150 I'm trying to read the question. Oh, get on with 0:22:06.170 --> 0:22:06.730 it then. 0:22:07.369 --> 0:22:08.030 I've got to go soon. 0:22:08.530 --> 0:22:12.560 Oh, it's all about you. Oh, wow. This is meant 0:22:12.580 --> 0:22:14.200 to be about the Doders. This isn't about Vic. 0:22:14.320 --> 0:22:18.020 Okay. So use a reward system? I know. 0:22:18.080 --> 0:22:18.560 Get on with it. 0:22:19.990 --> 0:22:22.600 I use a reward system and she usually responds to that. 0:22:22.640 --> 0:22:24.879 We've tried the same approach with poos, even offering an 0:22:24.980 --> 0:22:27.000 instant prize for a very first poo in the toilet, 0:22:27.080 --> 0:22:30.860 but she just won't do it. We're now nearly two 0:22:30.900 --> 0:22:33.179 weeks and starting to feel a bit stuck. I think 0:22:33.220 --> 0:22:35.160 she's lacking confidence when it comes to pooing in the toilet. 0:22:35.200 --> 0:22:37.780 Has anyone been through something similar and what has helped? 0:22:38.060 --> 0:22:39.859 Well, you were just talking about the public toilet thing. 0:22:39.940 --> 0:22:43.070 It's probably maybe similar. Maybe it's stage fright. Maybe it's like, 0:22:43.460 --> 0:22:44.510 feels like taboo. 0:22:44.900 --> 0:22:46.109 How are your kids in their shits? 0:22:47.100 --> 0:22:50.040 Macy can shit their ass down fucking about as thick 0:22:50.060 --> 0:22:50.800 as this microphone. 0:22:50.859 --> 0:22:51.639 Oh, my days. 0:22:51.660 --> 0:22:53.460 I feel sorry for her asshole, really. 0:22:53.500 --> 0:22:55.119 Always been the case. Always. 0:22:55.140 --> 0:22:57.619 Remember that big fucking football she pooped out into her 0:22:57.640 --> 0:22:58.340 nappy that time? 0:22:58.420 --> 0:23:00.320 Yeah. What are you feeding her? 0:23:00.340 --> 0:23:02.240 She doesn't eat that much. 0:23:02.460 --> 0:23:03.060 Where's it come from? 0:23:03.080 --> 0:23:04.540 I'm always surprised at how much comes out of them. 0:23:05.180 --> 0:23:05.620 Don't you think? 0:23:07.119 --> 0:23:07.379 Yeah. 0:23:07.740 --> 0:23:11.859 I'm always surprised at how much comes out of them. 0:23:13.619 --> 0:23:16.740 Poor Lily, she actually had the reverse problem and she 0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:19.340 got into hospital recently because she had so much poo 0:23:19.359 --> 0:23:19.840 in her body. 0:23:20.540 --> 0:23:22.720 Actually? She was majority poo. 0:23:22.760 --> 0:23:24.869 Here we go. How did you know that there was 0:23:24.900 --> 0:23:26.850 a problem? Did you know that her poo, were you like, 0:23:26.890 --> 0:23:27.550 hang on a second? 0:23:28.070 --> 0:23:29.550 I had no idea there was a problem because she 0:23:29.570 --> 0:23:31.090 was still pooing every day. She had a poo the 0:23:31.130 --> 0:23:33.570 day before and the day of, which was what confused 0:23:33.609 --> 0:23:35.090 the doctors, but she had so. 0:23:34.990 --> 0:23:37.990 Much poo backed up all in her intestine? No, in 0:23:38.010 --> 0:23:39.670 her colon. In her body. 0:23:39.690 --> 0:23:42.250 Intestines, I don't have intestines. Yeah, it was awful. 0:23:42.290 --> 0:23:43.080 She was like 30% poo. 0:23:43.390 --> 0:23:44.080 Did she smell? 0:23:44.680 --> 0:23:46.060 Yeah. Was it seeping out of her paws? 0:23:46.320 --> 0:23:47.280 No, guys. 0:23:47.880 --> 0:23:49.340 That's a serious question. 0:23:52.000 --> 0:23:54.669 I have heard with poos because there is a drop 0:23:54.890 --> 0:23:57.430 from the buttock to the toilet. Scared. 0:23:57.450 --> 0:23:59.410 They are scared of the drop. 0:23:59.830 --> 0:24:02.930 So I suggested try having her do one on a potty, 0:24:03.430 --> 0:24:06.620 smaller drop. There's no splash or anything like that. Or 0:24:07.000 --> 0:24:09.500 there is a video that I showed Louie and Lily 0:24:09.540 --> 0:24:13.680 when they were potty training called Poo Land, which I 0:24:13.720 --> 0:24:14.689 will play for you right now. 0:24:14.700 --> 0:24:18.690 Please, take it away. Can't wait to hear what Poo 0:24:18.730 --> 0:24:19.129 Land is. 0:24:19.150 --> 0:24:20.450 I hope it's a song. 0:24:20.470 --> 0:24:23.350 Poo is very shy with people. Poo just wants to 0:24:23.390 --> 0:24:26.730 go home. Poo wants to go home to Poo Land. 0:24:28.490 --> 0:24:29.280 This is like hypnotic. 0:24:29.300 --> 0:24:30.939 In Poo Land, Poo can tell Poo to leave. 0:24:38.270 --> 0:24:39.470 It's so trippy. 0:24:39.490 --> 0:24:40.810 What is that? 0:24:41.830 --> 0:24:43.210 It's the poo laughing. 0:24:44.369 --> 0:24:45.810 That's terrifying. 0:24:45.830 --> 0:24:48.830 Poo just wants to tell his mummy and daddy when 0:24:48.869 --> 0:24:49.510 he feels. 0:24:49.290 --> 0:24:50.470 Sad or grumpy. 0:24:52.580 --> 0:24:54.680 I think she's lost the plot. 0:24:55.100 --> 0:24:57.180 The only way for poo to get into poo land. 0:24:57.540 --> 0:24:58.260 Is down the loo. 0:24:58.340 --> 0:25:02.060 No wonder Lily was all backed up. This will help you. 0:25:02.100 --> 0:25:04.600 Watch this. 0:25:06.330 --> 0:25:09.550 Much too small for people, even little ones like you. 0:25:10.490 --> 0:25:11.190 This is Ollie. 0:25:11.770 --> 0:25:16.730 Ollie likes football and reading books. Pooh is very, very shy. 0:25:16.750 --> 0:25:20.830 Pooh tries to stay hidden in Ollie's bottom. Pooh needs 0:25:20.950 --> 0:25:22.609 Ollie's help to send Pooh home. 0:25:22.960 --> 0:25:23.780 I think I've heard enough. 0:25:24.440 --> 0:25:27.340 That is weird. 0:25:27.900 --> 0:25:28.639 It is weird. 0:25:28.660 --> 0:25:31.990 Vic, you started off with some really good advice. 0:25:32.150 --> 0:25:35.010 It's kind of like that's like the salad fingers. Yes. 0:25:35.030 --> 0:25:37.230 It's like a rusty spoon. 0:25:37.650 --> 0:25:38.850 Is that salad fingers? 0:25:38.869 --> 0:25:39.550 What's salad fingers? 0:25:39.590 --> 0:25:41.449 Touch the poo if you want to touch the poo. 0:25:41.470 --> 0:25:43.380 I like it when the rusty spoon. 0:25:43.560 --> 0:25:46.140 But essentially if you get to the end of the video. 0:25:46.520 --> 0:25:48.699 It's all about sending poo back to poo land to 0:25:48.740 --> 0:25:49.480 be with his parents. 0:25:49.500 --> 0:25:52.119 No, I get the message. The delivery was just a- Oh, 0:25:52.340 --> 0:25:53.639 the laugh is a bit scary. 0:25:53.720 --> 0:25:55.950 It's just a bit. I'm scared. I don't want to 0:25:55.990 --> 0:25:56.450 poo anymore. 0:25:58.190 --> 0:25:59.429 It'll send the poo right back up. 0:25:59.530 --> 0:25:59.889 Right. 0:25:59.950 --> 0:26:04.510 Let's go back to the splash because I would agree, okay, 0:26:04.630 --> 0:26:08.930 sometimes when the splash hits your butthole- It's a lot. 0:26:09.250 --> 0:26:12.179 It can be a bit jumpy. It can be a bit, oh! 0:26:12.640 --> 0:26:15.520 Yeah, we had the little sit-down potty next to the toilet- 0:26:16.060 --> 0:26:17.699 And that was great. We had no issues at all 0:26:17.740 --> 0:26:18.020 with that. 0:26:18.280 --> 0:26:20.260 Here's a thought. Why don't we do this? Why don't 0:26:20.280 --> 0:26:22.859 we lay the poo a little bed of toilet paper 0:26:22.960 --> 0:26:26.340 first and you can poop onto the toilet paper, no 0:26:26.380 --> 0:26:28.040 splash back, and then it goes straight down. 0:26:28.100 --> 0:26:29.720 Toilet paper's not cheap. 0:26:29.800 --> 0:26:32.940 One or two squares. 0:26:33.100 --> 0:26:35.120 That was also my advice for Matt if he's worried 0:26:35.180 --> 0:26:37.310 about the sounds in the toilet as well. 0:26:37.720 --> 0:26:38.700 You put toilet paper down. 0:26:38.720 --> 0:26:42.530 No, it's more so my arse. Oh, okay. The sound 0:26:42.570 --> 0:26:43.050 not so much. 0:26:43.109 --> 0:26:43.449 Muffled. 0:26:43.840 --> 0:26:45.379 No, I'm a bit gassy sometimes. 0:26:45.440 --> 0:26:49.679 Is it like when they get those trumpets and it's like... Yeah. 0:26:49.900 --> 0:26:51.010 Yeah. Congratulations. 0:26:51.790 --> 0:26:53.750 You've got good sound. You've got good pitch. You should 0:26:53.850 --> 0:26:55.550 use it. Bathroom acoustics are amazing. 0:26:55.830 --> 0:26:57.070 What are you talking about? 0:26:57.109 --> 0:27:00.240 I'm just trying to hurry this along, really. 0:27:01.619 --> 0:27:03.070 The other thing I've heard is if you give your 0:27:03.130 --> 0:27:06.790 kids like some sort of child safe laxative, like a 0:27:06.850 --> 0:27:08.300 little bit, it helps loosen it up. 0:27:08.310 --> 0:27:09.530 You want to drug your children? 0:27:09.570 --> 0:27:15.330 Like a Winnie Redd and a coffee. Yeah, Timmy, have. 0:27:16.510 --> 0:27:16.609 This. 0:27:16.650 --> 0:27:19.710 I'll tell you right now, if you gave your child 0:27:19.750 --> 0:27:22.700 a Winnie Redd and a coffee, it would poop everything 0:27:22.720 --> 0:27:23.940 it had out of it. Just saying. 0:27:24.240 --> 0:27:26.760 Well, because a kid, if you're pooping and it slides out, 0:27:27.000 --> 0:27:28.180 it's much more. 0:27:28.890 --> 0:27:29.430 Feels better. 0:27:29.590 --> 0:27:32.649 It's less anxiety-inducing than if you have to push it out. 0:27:32.990 --> 0:27:34.879 Yeah. It does feel good when it does slide out 0:27:34.920 --> 0:27:36.379 on its own sometimes. 0:27:36.400 --> 0:27:37.720 But, yeah, Dan, I hope that helps. 0:27:38.140 --> 0:27:42.490 You've got to reward her. If she's, like, trying, you know, 0:27:42.590 --> 0:27:45.030 and it doesn't happen, I think still give her, like, 0:27:45.090 --> 0:27:47.469 a bit of a, bit of praise for attempting to 0:27:47.490 --> 0:27:49.409 sit in the toilet to do a poo. Because two 0:27:49.430 --> 0:27:50.830 and a half, that's young, dude. 0:27:50.850 --> 0:27:51.490 Yeah, it is young. 0:27:51.590 --> 0:27:52.650 Why don't you do this? 0:27:52.750 --> 0:27:54.190 A lot of girls do do it at two and 0:27:54.210 --> 0:27:56.200 a half. Boys are a bit later. Two and a 0:27:56.220 --> 0:27:56.640 half is young. 0:27:56.740 --> 0:27:58.460 Why don't you? Here we go. What have you got? 0:27:58.480 --> 0:27:59.580 What have you got, big guy? 0:27:59.619 --> 0:28:01.740 If she keeps pooping in her undies, just get her 0:28:01.760 --> 0:28:03.899 to sit in her undies and see what happens. And 0:28:03.940 --> 0:28:05.300 then you can go, okay, well, I know where the 0:28:05.320 --> 0:28:07.810 problem is here. Okay. Well, I don't know where the 0:28:07.830 --> 0:28:09.090 problem is, but she was still pooping in her undies 0:28:09.109 --> 0:28:10.710 sitting over it. So maybe it's something in the toilet, 0:28:10.730 --> 0:28:12.949 like the warring can. Find out what the problem is. 0:28:12.970 --> 0:28:14.369 You might have to lose a pair of undies at 0:28:14.390 --> 0:28:17.190 the time, but she's already pooping in them anyway. Just go, hey, 0:28:17.250 --> 0:28:18.310 why don't you try this? Sit on the toilet with 0:28:18.330 --> 0:28:20.910 your undies on. Stay there. Don't move. Here's a book. 0:28:21.130 --> 0:28:22.750 Feel comfortable. I'll come back. 0:28:22.830 --> 0:28:23.730 She's two and a half, bro. 0:28:24.609 --> 0:28:25.670 No. Here's a nudie mag. 0:28:25.690 --> 0:28:27.470 But you know what I mean. 0:28:27.490 --> 0:28:28.909 We give a book to Lily because Lily has to 0:28:28.950 --> 0:28:30.450 sit on the toilet now for five minutes every day. 0:28:30.450 --> 0:28:31.190 She's reading Shakespeare. 0:28:31.300 --> 0:28:32.500 And so we give her a book so she can 0:28:32.540 --> 0:28:33.480 just like look at the pictures. 0:28:33.640 --> 0:28:34.020 Lovely. 0:28:34.340 --> 0:28:36.880 Shakespeare. I, thy, sit on thy throne. 0:28:37.240 --> 0:28:37.959 I heard you the first time. 0:28:38.220 --> 0:28:39.880 This is the sort of stuff they don't tell you 0:28:39.920 --> 0:28:41.060 when you want to become a parent. 0:28:41.690 --> 0:28:42.610 That's why you come to us. 0:28:42.830 --> 0:28:44.730 I tell everyone this. Yeah. 0:28:44.750 --> 0:28:44.910 Okay. 0:28:45.170 --> 0:28:47.050 Well, we're on Dan's life. Thanks. 0:28:47.410 --> 0:28:48.170 Oh, no, anonymous. 0:28:48.730 --> 0:28:48.970 Oops. 0:28:49.110 --> 0:28:50.770 Yeah, anonymous. Sorry, Dan. 0:28:50.810 --> 0:28:51.250 I mean, oops. 0:28:52.730 --> 0:28:55.330 This is a DM, Matt. Came through our Instagram, 220dazzle 0:28:55.350 --> 0:28:58.650 on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. Hey, fellas, I'm a mum of two, 0:28:58.820 --> 0:29:03.000 a two-year-old and six months. Congratulations. It's fresh. When my 0:29:03.040 --> 0:29:06.660 partner and I had the two-year-old, she was mixed fed. 0:29:07.170 --> 0:29:09.959 breast and formula, which was a great way for my 0:29:10.000 --> 0:29:12.700 partner and her to bond as he could help with 0:29:12.720 --> 0:29:17.800 the feeds. Whereas with my six-month-old, he's exclusively breastfed and 0:29:17.860 --> 0:29:21.960 can't stand my partner. Even with expressed milk, he rarely 0:29:22.000 --> 0:29:24.460 takes a bottle from him and always prefers me to 0:29:24.540 --> 0:29:27.960 hold him, which is expected, to be honest. I know 0:29:28.010 --> 0:29:31.150 this makes my partner feel pretty useless. Is there anything 0:29:31.250 --> 0:29:34.290 I can tell him that may make him feel better? P.S. 0:29:34.730 --> 0:29:37.380 Love the potty. so just to clarify oh wait hang 0:29:37.420 --> 0:29:39.290 on i might have read that wrong There's a good chance. 0:29:39.310 --> 0:29:40.250 I have no doubt you did. 0:29:41.030 --> 0:29:45.460 And can't stand my partner. Yeah, I thought it was like, yeah, sorry. Sorry, 0:29:45.560 --> 0:29:47.560 I shouldn't have attacked you. I've ignored it because it 0:29:47.580 --> 0:29:47.880 was silly. 0:29:48.100 --> 0:29:50.480 I apologize. You read that very well. 0:29:50.980 --> 0:29:51.400 You did actually. 0:29:51.420 --> 0:29:52.800 You really did a really good job. 0:29:52.980 --> 0:29:54.040 Shut the fuck up. 0:29:54.600 --> 0:29:55.260 You did really good. 0:29:55.280 --> 0:29:55.900 You're patronizing me. 0:29:55.960 --> 0:29:56.680 I don't like it. 0:29:56.720 --> 0:29:57.480 That was a good read. 0:29:57.500 --> 0:29:59.120 That was mean for me and I apologize. 0:29:59.160 --> 0:30:01.550 I didn't even hear it. Good, because I don't respect you. 0:30:01.750 --> 0:30:03.040 You recover from it. 0:30:05.380 --> 0:30:09.400 Vic, how many fucking noises do you have to make 0:30:09.460 --> 0:30:10.340 in the recording? 0:30:10.560 --> 0:30:11.940 I turned it off to play the Poo Land video. 0:30:11.960 --> 0:30:12.940 Well, you did it clearly. 0:30:14.200 --> 0:30:15.720 I had to turn the sound back on for the 0:30:15.760 --> 0:30:16.500 Poo Land video. 0:30:16.840 --> 0:30:17.180 Okay. 0:30:18.240 --> 0:30:19.060 That's your last warning. 0:30:19.080 --> 0:30:21.140 That traumatising video, I'm never going to get my fucking. 0:30:21.300 --> 0:30:22.140 Watch this, kids. 0:30:22.160 --> 0:30:23.620 I'm never going to be able to poo again. Go 0:30:23.680 --> 0:30:26.450 and poo, I dare you. What's going to happen if 0:30:26.510 --> 0:30:27.810 I do? You'll find out. 0:30:32.390 --> 0:30:33.650 Who put you on to that video? 0:30:34.190 --> 0:30:34.730 Our friends. 0:30:34.950 --> 0:30:35.610 Defriend them. 0:30:35.630 --> 0:30:36.710 You should murder them. 0:30:36.950 --> 0:30:37.590 The mother's groups. 0:30:38.590 --> 0:30:40.070 So she's got a six-month-old. 0:30:40.290 --> 0:30:40.450 Yep. 0:30:40.820 --> 0:30:43.580 And the child who's six months wants nothing to do 0:30:43.600 --> 0:30:44.140 with the dad. 0:30:44.360 --> 0:30:45.360 Which is fairly common. 0:30:45.380 --> 0:30:46.340 There's also a two-year-old. 0:30:47.270 --> 0:30:47.970 Who's the two-year-old? 0:30:48.030 --> 0:30:49.150 Yeah, the two-year-old was mixed-fed. 0:30:49.210 --> 0:30:49.870 A mum of two. 0:30:49.990 --> 0:30:51.570 And that's why, that's what she said. So she's had 0:30:51.590 --> 0:30:52.210 the good life. 0:30:52.350 --> 0:30:52.870 Had the good life. 0:30:52.890 --> 0:30:54.990 She's had the good life of both, which I think, 0:30:55.190 --> 0:30:58.090 you know, it's great that that can happen. But then 0:30:58.130 --> 0:31:00.750 they've tried to have the good life again with the 0:31:00.830 --> 0:31:03.469 second one but only wants boob from the boob, not 0:31:03.490 --> 0:31:03.810 the bottle. 0:31:03.830 --> 0:31:07.340 But I think that first time that was... That you're lucky. Yeah, 0:31:07.360 --> 0:31:10.450 you're lucky. I think the norm is why the fuck 0:31:10.490 --> 0:31:14.500 would a baby want anyone else when it comes to feeding... 0:31:14.870 --> 0:31:16.730 It wouldn't want anyone else other than mum with the boobies. 0:31:16.830 --> 0:31:17.670 At that age, yeah. 0:31:17.730 --> 0:31:19.170 Yeah, like fuck that. 0:31:19.590 --> 0:31:22.690 I suppose I remember Oscar would take a bottle here 0:31:22.710 --> 0:31:25.270 and there to give April some reprieve. So like it's 0:31:25.330 --> 0:31:27.930 great to give mum a rest, but like every night, no, 0:31:28.080 --> 0:31:29.000 no way, no chance. 0:31:29.220 --> 0:31:29.580 No. 0:31:29.640 --> 0:31:32.780 But with this one, she's obviously saying they're stuck in 0:31:32.820 --> 0:31:34.940 this situation, fine, but she wants to know what it 0:31:35.240 --> 0:31:38.000 is that she can do to help make him not, 0:31:38.020 --> 0:31:40.100 because he obviously wanted to do it too, because there's 0:31:40.140 --> 0:31:42.510 a chance to bond. Which is great, but he now 0:31:42.550 --> 0:31:43.030 doesn't have that. 0:31:43.070 --> 0:31:45.790 Yeah, but I think feeding, kick back to the curb. 0:31:45.830 --> 0:31:48.459 That's not your jam, dude. Not in this instance. And 0:31:48.500 --> 0:31:49.240 it's not in this age. 0:31:49.260 --> 0:31:50.280 Not with second child. 0:31:50.340 --> 0:31:53.220 But I think when it comes to like changing nappies, boom, 0:31:53.320 --> 0:31:55.070 that is you. You step up to the plate. 0:31:55.170 --> 0:31:55.510 Yeah. 0:31:55.530 --> 0:31:57.890 Spottling. That's what it is. I think like maybe he really, 0:31:57.910 --> 0:32:00.920 because we're just assuming here. What I'm saying is. Those 0:32:00.980 --> 0:32:03.440 times where he was feeding, maybe he really relished it 0:32:03.480 --> 0:32:04.640 because he got to bond. 0:32:04.760 --> 0:32:06.980 It's nice. It is lovely. He's a nice. 0:32:07.660 --> 0:32:11.160 Where he's feeling useless because he doesn't have that time 0:32:11.200 --> 0:32:11.600 to bond. 0:32:11.760 --> 0:32:16.030 Yeah, so I'm saying. I'm saying. Shift your focus. Yeah, 0:32:16.210 --> 0:32:18.910 and that will come later. Lifetime. You've got plenty of 0:32:18.930 --> 0:32:20.790 fucking time to feed, dude. Don't you worry. 0:32:21.190 --> 0:32:22.970 Can I ask, did Macy do the same? 0:32:23.450 --> 0:32:28.050 Macy was, she was boob. She would take bottled milk 0:32:28.350 --> 0:32:29.170 from me sometimes. 0:32:29.280 --> 0:32:29.490 Mm-hmm. 0:32:30.050 --> 0:32:34.740 Because I would say predominantly second child is more clingy 0:32:34.780 --> 0:32:37.040 to mum because they can see that they need to 0:32:37.100 --> 0:32:39.880 get your attention because there's this other little person trying 0:32:39.900 --> 0:32:42.840 to get your attention. So for me, Lily did not 0:32:42.880 --> 0:32:45.890 want a bottle at all and she was exclusively breastfed 0:32:46.270 --> 0:32:48.550 and so that meant that Dan had to take charge 0:32:48.590 --> 0:32:50.810 of Louie. And then that meant they had all sorts 0:32:50.870 --> 0:32:53.229 of extra adventures, which I also missed out on. So 0:32:53.310 --> 0:32:56.210 it's just a reframe that you might not have these 0:32:56.280 --> 0:32:58.700 experiences with this child, but you can have totally new 0:32:58.760 --> 0:33:00.160 experiences with your toddler. 0:33:00.620 --> 0:33:03.240 Yeah. Yeah, I agree. And you'll get a chance to feed. 0:33:03.280 --> 0:33:05.200 Like when it comes to solids and stuff. 0:33:05.220 --> 0:33:06.620 I hate that. Yeah, really? 0:33:06.640 --> 0:33:08.160 I hate solids. 0:33:08.180 --> 0:33:09.160 I thought it was so fun. 0:33:09.720 --> 0:33:13.320 Yeah, I'm sure if your kids eat, so Poppy's probably 0:33:13.340 --> 0:33:14.240 my best eater. 0:33:14.420 --> 0:33:15.960 Yeah, when they eat, it's great. 0:33:16.120 --> 0:33:17.010 Oh, my God. 0:33:17.030 --> 0:33:19.650 When they don't eat, it's fucking hell. 0:33:19.670 --> 0:33:22.090 I was feeding Poppy yesterday and I was like, this 0:33:22.170 --> 0:33:25.450 is the best feeling in the world where she had 0:33:25.490 --> 0:33:28.490 like a little frozen thing of like fruit and porridge 0:33:28.640 --> 0:33:31.500 oats thing. She ate the whole thing, like every mouthful, 0:33:31.540 --> 0:33:34.180 just like boom. And I was like this is the 0:33:34.220 --> 0:33:36.870 happiest I've ever been in my whole life. 0:33:37.010 --> 0:33:37.310 I know. 0:33:37.570 --> 0:33:39.850 I don't know what it is about kids and eating. 0:33:39.930 --> 0:33:42.469 Lily had three bowls of pasta last night and I'm 0:33:42.490 --> 0:33:42.910 just like. 0:33:43.130 --> 0:33:44.570 I'm on top of the world. 0:33:44.690 --> 0:33:47.110 It makes me feel so happy. Louis had half a bowl. 0:33:47.770 --> 0:33:48.390 He's my bad. 0:33:48.470 --> 0:33:50.250 And you're like you disappoint me. 0:33:50.590 --> 0:33:51.290 Oscar started. 0:33:51.330 --> 0:33:51.750 Joking. 0:33:51.990 --> 0:33:53.800 I had to like feed him like a baby. 0:33:54.080 --> 0:33:56.840 Oscar started to actually eat but Macy's still a battle. 0:33:57.710 --> 0:34:01.710 Yeah. But, yeah, bath times, dude. Poppy, bath time for me, 0:34:01.750 --> 0:34:04.530 that was like it's such a nice bonding time and 0:34:04.550 --> 0:34:07.209 I love it as well because I'm obsessed with my phone. 0:34:07.250 --> 0:34:10.460 I have to just constantly distract myself and in the bath, 0:34:10.820 --> 0:34:13.779 no temptation to have fun. It's just you, baby, locked in. 0:34:14.180 --> 0:34:15.100 It's quality time. 0:34:15.219 --> 0:34:19.680 So what we're saying is shift your perspective onto another 0:34:19.760 --> 0:34:21.859 activity that you can bond with that child but then 0:34:22.020 --> 0:34:23.259 with the two-year-old. Don't forget about them. 0:34:24.219 --> 0:34:25.030 Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't forget. 0:34:25.070 --> 0:34:25.640 Don't forget about that. 0:34:26.190 --> 0:34:27.790 This is your time to shine with the two-year-olds. 0:34:27.810 --> 0:34:31.050 Yeah, because same as with Oscar, when April with Macy, 0:34:31.410 --> 0:34:32.950 Oscar was my remit. 0:34:33.170 --> 0:34:33.410 Yeah. 0:34:33.469 --> 0:34:36.150 So we would do everything together because, yeah. So there 0:34:36.170 --> 0:34:36.310 you go. 0:34:36.310 --> 0:34:38.680 I miss out on a lot of zoo visits because 0:34:38.700 --> 0:34:41.360 we're zoo friends because Dan would always take him to 0:34:41.380 --> 0:34:44.560 the zoo. That's how we came up with our two-hour zoo. 0:34:44.600 --> 0:34:45.280 He's a great dad. 0:34:45.400 --> 0:34:46.350 He is. He's a great dad. 0:34:46.360 --> 0:34:46.859 I'm a great dad. 0:34:47.100 --> 0:34:48.180 Well, I hope we answered your question. 0:34:48.540 --> 0:34:50.820 Vic, it is currently 3.17, by the way. 0:34:50.920 --> 0:34:51.180 Yep. 0:34:51.680 --> 0:34:52.419 I'll just have to leave. 0:34:52.930 --> 0:34:53.450 Must be nice. 0:34:54.770 --> 0:34:56.190 Because I really want to go to swimming lessons. 0:34:56.410 --> 0:34:57.819 I'm being a fuckwit. I know. 0:34:58.090 --> 0:34:59.040 Whose swimming lessons are they? 0:34:59.320 --> 0:34:59.640 Louie's. 0:35:00.000 --> 0:35:01.239 So you don't even have to get in. 0:35:01.320 --> 0:35:02.540 He's moved up a swimming class. 0:35:02.560 --> 0:35:03.620 Sounds like a holiday to me. 0:35:04.300 --> 0:35:09.839 Another one. 0:35:09.880 --> 0:35:12.200 Getting Louie into swimmers is not a holiday. 0:35:12.239 --> 0:35:13.510 Trust me. 0:35:13.530 --> 0:35:16.009 I'm also going to show up without any snacks. 0:35:17.270 --> 0:35:18.089 Take him to Red Bull. 0:35:18.170 --> 0:35:20.690 We've got a biscuit box. Yeah, make some biscuits. 0:35:20.750 --> 0:35:22.310 As a music bar. Oh, yeah, true. Okay. 0:35:22.550 --> 0:35:23.969 But you're not allowed any of them. 0:35:24.739 --> 0:35:25.339 Let's keep moving. 0:35:25.820 --> 0:35:31.680 Okay, this one is for Megan. For or from? 0:35:32.180 --> 0:35:32.500 From. 0:35:32.940 --> 0:35:33.620 I apologise. 0:35:33.640 --> 0:35:34.799 You're doing really good, bud. 0:35:34.900 --> 0:35:36.089 But the advice is for her. 0:35:36.780 --> 0:35:41.009 There's no advice here, Vic. It's just suggestions. You're doing 0:35:41.030 --> 0:35:41.350 really well. 0:35:42.090 --> 0:35:44.930 Thank you. Vic, any thoughts? Excellent. Stop. 0:35:45.660 --> 0:35:45.989 Thank you. 0:35:46.010 --> 0:35:46.239 Great start. 0:35:46.280 --> 0:35:49.339 Thank you, everyone. You're all also really, both of you 0:35:49.420 --> 0:35:51.980 have been fantastic. Don't wrap me up. 0:35:52.239 --> 0:35:53.130 Get on with it. 0:35:53.140 --> 0:35:55.540 Megan, my partner, who's a tradie in brackets, went for 0:35:55.580 --> 0:35:59.020 a job interview and when the interviewer mentioned, in brackets, 0:35:59.140 --> 0:36:02.460 lots of overtime, my partner responded saying he's unable to 0:36:02.480 --> 0:36:04.680 do overtime as he has to pick up the kids 0:36:05.180 --> 0:36:10.470 at 3.30. The interviewer seemed baffled and responded with, well, 0:36:10.770 --> 0:36:13.070 what does your missus not have a car or something? 0:36:13.390 --> 0:36:13.810 Ooh. 0:36:14.410 --> 0:36:16.350 To which my partner responded that I work in the 0:36:16.390 --> 0:36:19.279 city and I don't get home till 6.30. I feel 0:36:19.320 --> 0:36:21.660 like there needs to be more discussion of flexibility and 0:36:21.739 --> 0:36:27.030 understanding for dads in trades because until these male-dominated industries 0:36:27.070 --> 0:36:29.510 start to shake up the old school views, it doesn't 0:36:29.590 --> 0:36:33.090 enable dads to step up to the plate in equal parenting. 0:36:34.300 --> 0:36:37.049 That is such a shit question to ask someone. Just 0:36:37.110 --> 0:36:39.950 straight up. Let me say this. If you're interviewing someone 0:36:39.989 --> 0:36:41.489 for a potential job at your company and you throw 0:36:41.530 --> 0:36:44.050 that question, you shouldn't be at that company. That's a 0:36:44.330 --> 0:36:50.110 fucking shit question. And then also this generalization of the, oh, 0:36:50.310 --> 0:36:53.509 that's mum's job. Like shut the fuck up, dude. Like 0:36:53.610 --> 0:36:56.319 I would have jumped the desk. I would have fucking 0:36:56.340 --> 0:36:56.719 jumped the dance. 0:36:56.739 --> 0:36:57.259 No, you wouldn't have. 0:36:57.469 --> 0:36:58.189 I would have helped here. 0:36:58.290 --> 0:37:01.070 I love how Ash is like, in the podcast studio, 0:37:01.110 --> 0:37:03.570 he's like, I would have taken my shirt off and 0:37:03.610 --> 0:37:04.870 I would have put them in a headlock and took 0:37:04.890 --> 0:37:05.690 them to the ground. 0:37:05.710 --> 0:37:07.779 Yeah, but this is all in the shower later when 0:37:07.800 --> 0:37:09.860 I'm thinking about what I would have done if I 0:37:09.920 --> 0:37:10.600 had the. 0:37:10.520 --> 0:37:11.799 Balls to do it. 0:37:11.820 --> 0:37:12.640 You big softy. 0:37:12.680 --> 0:37:13.620 You ain't hurting anyone. 0:37:13.800 --> 0:37:16.489 I definitely would have been like, First of all, if 0:37:16.719 --> 0:37:18.610 you're going to ask me questions like that, that's not 0:37:18.630 --> 0:37:19.350 the right job for you. 0:37:19.410 --> 0:37:22.630 Question. You've done a few trades. You're a painter. When 0:37:22.650 --> 0:37:25.130 you were painting, did you have kids? No. No. 0:37:25.210 --> 0:37:27.030 I was 17. I don't think I had kids. 0:37:27.050 --> 0:37:28.839 Actually, okay. 0:37:28.900 --> 0:37:29.160 Will. 0:37:29.620 --> 0:37:29.839 Will. 0:37:29.980 --> 0:37:30.780 Will. Well. 0:37:31.040 --> 0:37:36.180 Well. Well. Well said. Dan. 0:37:37.030 --> 0:37:37.770 Dan is a tradie. 0:37:37.830 --> 0:37:38.009 Yes. 0:37:38.270 --> 0:37:39.070 Dan is a tradie. 0:37:39.430 --> 0:37:40.390 But he's his own boss, I guess. 0:37:40.410 --> 0:37:42.750 Yeah, it's different. Look, Mike. Let's use Mike. 0:37:42.950 --> 0:37:43.169 Mike. 0:37:43.250 --> 0:37:45.290 Mike is not his own boss. He works for a 0:37:45.450 --> 0:37:50.110 guy that has kids himself. And Mike always talks about 0:37:50.130 --> 0:37:52.430 that it all comes out in the wash for him. 0:37:52.550 --> 0:37:54.759 So for him, he's like he might start late because 0:37:54.780 --> 0:37:56.980 he's doing drop-off, but he always works a few hours 0:37:57.020 --> 0:37:59.460 later anyway because he feels like if they're willing to 0:37:59.500 --> 0:38:01.799 give that flexibility to me, I'm willing to give the 0:38:01.840 --> 0:38:04.850 flexibility to them, which it's a two-way street. Totally. And 0:38:04.870 --> 0:38:08.130 I've worked enough in HR to know that if you're 0:38:08.489 --> 0:38:11.390 flexible with an employee, they'll be flexible with you and 0:38:11.410 --> 0:38:12.370 you'll get the best out of them. 0:38:12.780 --> 0:38:14.859 Also, Vic, totally fine for you to go to swimming 0:38:14.880 --> 0:38:16.760 classes this afternoon. 0:38:18.360 --> 0:38:22.840 Thank you. But can't you fucking missus do that? 0:38:23.440 --> 0:38:25.430 I was actually going to use this as an example 0:38:25.489 --> 0:38:29.069 because I don't work traditional like nine to five hours 0:38:29.150 --> 0:38:31.230 on this job because of the kids and I have 0:38:31.250 --> 0:38:33.870 to do school pick-ups sometimes and obviously swimming lessons. 0:38:34.260 --> 0:38:35.270 It's becoming a bit much. 0:38:36.770 --> 0:38:38.850 But I do always make up the hours later and 0:38:38.870 --> 0:38:41.370 a good worker will always like get the work done 0:38:41.489 --> 0:38:43.950 and so it shouldn't really matter what time they work. 0:38:44.030 --> 0:38:46.190 I know on building sites, especially big ones, they can 0:38:46.210 --> 0:38:49.209 have a lot of restrictions on like timings and even Dan, 0:38:49.250 --> 0:38:51.750 to be honest, he's sometimes like I can't stop until 0:38:51.750 --> 0:38:53.410 3.30 and then I've got to pack up. 0:38:53.469 --> 0:38:55.660 That takes half an hour. So like he's always going 0:38:55.680 --> 0:38:56.640 to be home late as well. 0:38:57.120 --> 0:39:00.020 It can be a little bit trickier for those people 0:39:00.140 --> 0:39:03.210 in trades to just like, pack up their stuff and 0:39:03.270 --> 0:39:06.590 leave versus those who write emails for a living. 0:39:07.200 --> 0:39:07.500 Hi. 0:39:07.520 --> 0:39:08.160 Yeah, yeah. 0:39:08.340 --> 0:39:11.040 It's not like you're just going to go close the laptop. 0:39:11.080 --> 0:39:14.980 Yeah, it's literally a 30 to 45-minute pack up each day. 0:39:15.060 --> 0:39:17.779 Yeah, same with Mike, right? And that's the thing. If 0:39:17.800 --> 0:39:20.299 you're in an interview and that question comes out, immediately 0:39:20.360 --> 0:39:21.759 you know that's not the right place to work. 0:39:21.780 --> 0:39:22.250 Yeah, 100%. 0:39:22.250 --> 0:39:25.070 I know it's hard as well because there's not a 0:39:25.150 --> 0:39:27.049 million jobs out there and sometimes you need to just 0:39:27.070 --> 0:39:29.939 get food on the table. But i if if you're 0:39:30.000 --> 0:39:32.360 in desperate need of that position itself and that's the 0:39:32.400 --> 0:39:34.460 sort of question you get you just lie to that 0:39:34.500 --> 0:39:36.400 guy and then and then when it comes down to 0:39:36.440 --> 0:39:38.279 it and you need to leave early or not do 0:39:38.320 --> 0:39:40.680 the overtime have a conversation again and then find the 0:39:40.739 --> 0:39:41.460 right company. 0:39:41.219 --> 0:39:43.989 To work for but but i almost think like We 0:39:44.030 --> 0:39:47.120 need to start changing the conversation and instead of lying 0:39:47.160 --> 0:39:48.859 to him, I think you kind of need to call 0:39:48.900 --> 0:39:53.050 him out and say this isn't really a fair response. 0:39:53.140 --> 0:39:59.130 Their version of like dynamics of both parents when they're boomers, like, 0:39:59.540 --> 0:40:01.440 Back then a house was like 50 bucks. 0:40:01.540 --> 0:40:02.160 Oh, yeah. 0:40:02.180 --> 0:40:03.990 I know. And they had the luxury of only ever 0:40:04.010 --> 0:40:08.230 having one person working. Like that world is absolutely fucking gone. 0:40:08.270 --> 0:40:10.650 Yeah, and you're right. It's kind of like it's not 0:40:10.690 --> 0:40:15.529 appropriate to be asking those sort of questions and it 0:40:15.590 --> 0:40:19.129 does absolutely need to change. But at the moment we're 0:40:19.170 --> 0:40:23.239 sort of teetering in this area where the generation that 0:40:23.340 --> 0:40:27.880 that was the case is still in hiring positions. And 0:40:27.980 --> 0:40:30.890 you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I've worked 0:40:30.930 --> 0:40:34.230 with enough tradies to know for a fact that they're 0:40:34.250 --> 0:40:37.549 just so fucking stubborn, these fucking tradies, that they will 0:40:37.590 --> 0:40:40.430 not budge on things like that when it's actually, if 0:40:40.469 --> 0:40:45.350 me as an employee turned around and said, hey, I've 0:40:45.370 --> 0:40:47.470 got to dart off early, my kid's sick at school, 0:40:47.570 --> 0:40:49.940 and they were like, well, mate, straight away I'd be like, 0:40:50.219 --> 0:40:53.219 fuck you. Because at the end of the day, more 0:40:53.260 --> 0:40:55.359 importantly is my family, not you. Totally. Totally. 0:40:55.719 --> 0:40:57.820 But I would argue that it's not a tradie issue. 0:40:57.940 --> 0:41:00.560 It's an Australian cultural issue because what Georgie Dent from 0:41:00.580 --> 0:41:04.110 The Parenthood has said is that the way that parenting 0:41:04.170 --> 0:41:06.880 is structured and the work week is structured is is 0:41:06.930 --> 0:41:08.860 based on what we had in the 90s and the 0:41:09.160 --> 0:41:11.339 80s where there was always one parent at home and 0:41:11.360 --> 0:41:13.239 that's why the working week doesn't match up to the 0:41:13.300 --> 0:41:15.840 school week and that's why we're left with so many hours. 0:41:15.900 --> 0:41:18.520 And so this poor guy who's trying to like support 0:41:18.580 --> 0:41:22.790 his family and also support his wife is getting stuck 0:41:22.910 --> 0:41:24.330 in this like no-man's zone. 0:41:24.390 --> 0:41:26.469 Yeah, and like they would get the best out of 0:41:26.530 --> 0:41:29.730 that employee if they were to come to the future. 0:41:30.090 --> 0:41:30.790 Totally. 0:41:31.270 --> 0:41:33.830 But I think the conversation just needs to start changing 0:41:33.930 --> 0:41:34.910 so that men. 0:41:35.580 --> 0:41:36.899 of every generation know. 0:41:37.920 --> 0:41:41.870 That what used to be the norm can't really. 0:41:41.670 --> 0:41:43.950 Be the norm anymore. It's about reshaping the version of 0:41:44.310 --> 0:41:47.450 fatherhood that we inherited instead of just passing on the 0:41:47.489 --> 0:41:49.110 same version down to the next generation. 0:41:49.130 --> 0:41:49.470 Totally. 0:41:49.510 --> 0:41:53.110 And we saw how, we're seeing how the previous generation 0:41:53.150 --> 0:41:56.170 parented and that now we're all like, we don't want 0:41:56.190 --> 0:41:57.230 to be like that. 0:41:57.070 --> 0:42:00.090 Because it was wrong. Well, you guys are perfect examples 0:42:00.130 --> 0:42:00.410 of that. 0:42:00.469 --> 0:42:02.350 Like I said, we are teetering on the edge of 0:42:02.430 --> 0:42:05.390 those people being in hiring positions still. And there's going 0:42:05.410 --> 0:42:07.489 to be a day when it's going to be you 0:42:07.530 --> 0:42:09.850 and I sort of generation hiring where it's like your 0:42:09.890 --> 0:42:12.819 family does come first because if you put my family 0:42:12.880 --> 0:42:17.000 first as an employer, I'm more likely to put you 0:42:17.200 --> 0:42:18.940 in a better position when you need me. 0:42:19.100 --> 0:42:19.580 Beautiful. 0:42:19.719 --> 0:42:20.190 I'd hire you. 0:42:20.590 --> 0:42:22.450 Thank you. I'm unhorrible. 0:42:23.370 --> 0:42:25.410 Hey, before we go, I do want to remind the 0:42:25.510 --> 0:42:28.960 good doters, the great doters, that you can at any 0:42:29.060 --> 0:42:31.879 point submit your dilemma, a question that you would like 0:42:31.960 --> 0:42:36.600 our input in. It's not advice. It's suggestions from myself, Ash, Vic. 0:42:37.000 --> 0:42:39.040 We are here at your service. So send them in 0:42:39.520 --> 0:42:44.360 either via our DMs or an email at hello at twodatingdads.com. 0:42:44.520 --> 0:42:47.060 And if you've enjoyed this episode, please leave a review, subscribe, 0:42:47.080 --> 0:42:49.300 send it to your friends. Okay. Send it to a 0:42:49.320 --> 0:42:53.780 shit boss. Spotify, YouTube, Apple Podcasts. 0:42:53.820 --> 0:42:54.900 This one's not on YouTube. 0:42:55.120 --> 0:42:56.740 Yeah, but the other ones are. The other ones are. 0:42:56.780 --> 0:43:00.660 Good recovery. And don't forget, you can also sign a 0:43:00.840 --> 0:43:04.520 really important petition. It's been run by the Parenthood. It's 0:43:04.560 --> 0:43:07.720 about advocating for dads to be more hands-on, more involved 0:43:07.960 --> 0:43:10.779 as parents and the ability to take more time off 0:43:10.860 --> 0:43:11.890 for paid parental leave. 0:43:12.200 --> 0:43:15.350 Yes, for newborns so they can bond and help out 0:43:15.370 --> 0:43:16.629 around the house way more. 0:43:16.890 --> 0:43:17.790 Love it. All right. 0:43:17.930 --> 0:43:18.350 See you next time. 0:43:18.550 --> 0:43:19.230 Bye. Bye. Bye. 0:43:33.090 --> 0:43:36.590 Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country 0:43:36.610 --> 0:43:40.310 throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. 0:43:40.630 --> 0:43:43.110 We pay our respects to their elders past and present 0:43:43.239 --> 0:43:45.939 and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait 0:43:45.960 --> 0:43:49.859 Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.