Speaker 1: I got your bloody champions. Welcome to another instorm with
Speaker 1: the Year Project. One of my favorite people in the world.
Speaker 1: I don't say that lightly Carly Taylor, the better half
Speaker 1: of Paul Taylor. Of course she's here again, and I'm
Speaker 1: excited because we spoke recently and this How do I
Speaker 1: say this without sounding you know, when you think, oh shit,
Speaker 1: I'm about to say something that it could sound condescending,
Speaker 1: I don't mean it too. But you've always been clever,
Speaker 1: and you've always been smart. You've always had this beautiful
Speaker 1: energy and a nice way of communicating. But I feel
Speaker 1: like you've realized. I feel like you're better. I feel
Speaker 1: like you've evolved. You know, like you were good, but now,
Speaker 1: like last time we chatted. I don't know whether it's
Speaker 1: you know more stuff, or you're more confident, or perhaps
Speaker 1: I'm less terrifying to you, or or you've kind of
Speaker 1: figured out the art and the science of podcasting. Like
Speaker 1: when I listened back to me six years ago, I
Speaker 1: fucking that I don't love me at the best of times.
Speaker 1: That's a that's a whole episode. There isn't that, Carli.
Speaker 1: And then when I was eight, no one came to
Speaker 1: my birthday.
Speaker 2: Well, Lie, you're on the couch.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, but I you know, I feel much better
Speaker 1: now doing this because it just feels like my natural
Speaker 1: habitat What about you, Do you feel more comfy? Yeah?
Speaker 2: That is such an interesting observation because I don't know
Speaker 2: if I feel more comfy. But I think what I'm
Speaker 2: able to do is sit with the discomfort. And I
Speaker 2: really yeah, so I always, I always get nervous. So
Speaker 2: and I guess the nerves are around God, Am I
Speaker 2: going to say the right thing? Am I going to
Speaker 2: be interested? You know that internal chatter they're in a
Speaker 2: chatter it's like and which is normal because you know,
Speaker 2: I think you have to have that because you care
Speaker 2: and because you want to do a good job. So
Speaker 2: it kind of comes with it. And I think I've
Speaker 2: accepted that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I will often talk to myself and that part of
Speaker 2: me who I call Wilma. I will I will actually say, look, thanks,
Speaker 2: this actually isn't helpful. Can you just sit out in
Speaker 2: the other room? Like I know I can't get rid
Speaker 2: of it, and I know this sounds really weird, but
Speaker 2: I actually do talk to that part of me and
Speaker 2: them just to leave, just for the moment. What cha.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is good. I mean, I know what
Speaker 1: we're going to talk about, we're going to get there.
Speaker 1: But I love this because it's organic and real and unplanned. Right.
Speaker 1: So one of the things that one of my is
Speaker 1: one of my issues, is if I've got to do
Speaker 1: a gig, like a corporate gig like your husband does
Speaker 1: a lot, and I if I've got to talk at
Speaker 1: nine o'clock, I want to get to the room at
Speaker 1: five to nine. But they don't want me to get
Speaker 1: to the room at five to nine. They want me
Speaker 1: to be there at fucking eight o'clock for a sound check,
Speaker 1: which nobody needs because anyone can do that. And then
Speaker 1: they want me to be in the room at like
Speaker 1: eight point thirty. But I often say to them, if
Speaker 1: you want the best me, just don't make me sit
Speaker 1: up the back for an hour listening to shit I
Speaker 1: don't want to listen to or like it doesn't I
Speaker 1: need to be off doing something, even if I'm in
Speaker 1: the gym until eight thirty, Like if I'm at a hotel,
Speaker 1: then I come up, I go, I'm in my room.
Speaker 1: I know I'm speaking at nine. I'm not going to
Speaker 1: learn anything more. I'm not going to be any more prepared.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to change my strategy. Then I put
Speaker 1: on you know, I splashed my face because I've already
Speaker 1: had a shower. I'll change you into my fucking frock
Speaker 1: and then I walk down and then about eight minutes
Speaker 1: after I get in the room, they intro me. And
Speaker 1: it tends to work well. Like I I was going
Speaker 1: to say, even that sounds arrogant, but even someone who's
Speaker 1: been doing corporate gigs for nearly thirty years, I still
Speaker 1: have to have my little protocol because I can, I
Speaker 1: can overthink it if I have too much time just
Speaker 1: in limbo, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so what happens when you do You have to
Speaker 2: be there early because that's very much that you need
Speaker 2: to have control over that process. And then sometimes you
Speaker 2: don't have control of it because they are going to
Speaker 2: insist that yet early. So how do you handle that?
Speaker 2: How do you if the overthinking starts?
Speaker 1: Well? What?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 1: On a practical level, they'll say, you know, we want
Speaker 1: you to do a sound check or something, which is silly.
Speaker 1: They just really want to make sure I'm there. I think,
Speaker 1: so I do that, and I'll say, look, you know,
Speaker 1: if it's possible, I'll say, do you mind if I
Speaker 1: sit in outside outside the room, but ten feet away,
Speaker 1: sitting on a couch. But I'll just I'll just post
Speaker 1: it on Instagram, or I'll write an inspirational message, or
Speaker 1: I'll plan for the thing that I've got tomorrow. Like
Speaker 1: I try not to think about what's coming. Yep, not
Speaker 1: because I'm scared, but because it doesn't improve my performance,
Speaker 1: you know. So I like to and there's no set
Speaker 1: way to present, of course, just like there's no best
Speaker 1: diet and there's no best workout. But for me, when
Speaker 1: I tend to be at my best, it's when I
Speaker 1: know who the group is, I know why I'm there,
Speaker 1: I know what I'm talking about. But I'm not scripted.
Speaker 1: I'm not scripted. There are no slides, there's no video.
Speaker 1: And that's not that slides and video are bad. Paul
Speaker 1: uses slides and video beautifully, but for me, it doesn't
Speaker 1: work for me optimally. But having said that, and I
Speaker 1: know I'm talking too much, I'll shut up. I'm doing
Speaker 1: a new workshop on Sunday at Deacon called Understanding You Right,
Speaker 1: And I've tried.
Speaker 3: Very hard to bring at least half of the content
Speaker 3: new content, because you know, my audience know me, Well,
Speaker 3: there's nearly two thousand fucking episodes and a million whiteboard whatevers,
Speaker 3: and so I don't want to rock up and say
Speaker 3: what I always say.
Speaker 1: So I've been I've literally been doing for me an
Speaker 1: extraordinary amount of prep. And then I rang Melissa this morning,
Speaker 1: who's the boss of me everyone, and said, you're not
Speaker 1: going to believe this, but I think I'm going to
Speaker 1: need a couple of slides because there's just a couple
Speaker 1: of concepts I need to unpack, which I really need
Speaker 1: people to see things as well. And I can't just
Speaker 1: do it organically on the fly because I've created this
Speaker 1: process I want people to I want to walk them
Speaker 1: through this process of opening the door on understanding the
Speaker 1: self right, and there's eight levels, and I thought I
Speaker 1: probably need a visual representation of that so I could
Speaker 1: be evolving, Carly, I know that's the word.
Speaker 2: I was thinking, You're evolving, and that's good. That's good. Change,
Speaker 2: Change is good.
Speaker 1: Ah. Do you have any kind of even if you
Speaker 1: do something like this, or if you're doing a speaking
Speaker 1: thing or an educational thing, do you have any rituals
Speaker 1: or any particular prep that is kind of a non negotiable.
Speaker 2: You mean on the day, Yeah, like.
Speaker 1: It, Like before this, do you just do your shit
Speaker 1: and go, oh it's ten to one, I better get
Speaker 1: ready for Craig Or do you have a little kind
Speaker 1: of process.
Speaker 2: I really hope that I am going to evolve to that,
Speaker 2: but I'm not there yet. So my process is to
Speaker 2: is to do a bit of exercise. So I had
Speaker 2: I went into the land room. I've got these club bells,
Speaker 2: you know, the club bells, yep, And so I do
Speaker 2: a little flow routine with those and just to get
Speaker 2: my heart rate up, just burn off a little bit
Speaker 2: of the stressholmemand that. I don't want to burn all
Speaker 2: of them off, but yeah, so I'll do that. But
Speaker 2: I like your I like the way you you know,
Speaker 2: if you do have a bit of time before you
Speaker 2: present that you use a bit of distraction. Like if
Speaker 2: if we're going to talk about attention, which we're probably
Speaker 2: going to talk about today, is you're taking your attention
Speaker 2: off the what's going to happen in twenty minutes and
Speaker 2: just going, Okay, I'm going to put my attention onto
Speaker 2: what I can do right now, and for you, like
Speaker 2: you know, posting on social media or whatever.
Speaker 1: Yes, which is well, I always think like attention is energy, right, yes,
Speaker 1: Like whatever I invest my attention on, my focus, on
Speaker 1: my mind in well, that's that I'm deciding where I'm
Speaker 1: spending my my psychological, cognitive and emotional energy, you know,
Speaker 1: because I'm I'm now thinking about that thing that that
Speaker 1: bloke did yesterday morning, that fucking inconsiderate bloke, and what
Speaker 1: I should have done and what I could have said,
Speaker 1: and what I might do next time if the same thing,
Speaker 1: if I bump into and then twenty minutes has gone
Speaker 1: and I've done no work. All I've done is fucking
Speaker 1: you know, activated my sympathetic nervous system to my own detriment.
Speaker 1: I'm now a bit stressed and anxious, my blood pressures up,
Speaker 1: and I've been completely fucking unproductive, and it's all my fault.
Speaker 2: Out and it's and it's the thing is it's normal
Speaker 2: for us to think back on the past and go,
Speaker 2: you know, I should have done that, and but it's
Speaker 2: it's actually being aware that you're doing it and then
Speaker 2: taking control over where your attention is and going, well, actually,
Speaker 2: this thought is not helpful to me right now, So
Speaker 2: what I it might be there and it might chatter
Speaker 2: in the background, but you want to just turn it
Speaker 2: down a bit by using your attention to what is
Speaker 2: important right here, right now. Yeah, what you have is now,
Speaker 2: isn't it. It's you just have these moments. But our
Speaker 2: minds go often to the past and into the future,
Speaker 2: and it takes us away from what's happening right now.
Speaker 1: I created this little model, which this is not giving
Speaker 1: anything away, but the first two steps of self reflection
Speaker 1: and self awareness right the thing I'm going to unpack
Speaker 1: on the weekend, and it is just that that thing
Speaker 1: of like like we're going to talk about attention and
Speaker 1: burnout and busyness, good busyness, bad business. But I think
Speaker 1: that like one of the things I want to talk
Speaker 1: about this weekend. If you're not come along, anybody, come along.
Speaker 1: It's a deacon. It's nine thirty Sunday. Go to my website.
Speaker 1: But I want to talk about See what I did there, Culli,
Speaker 1: but I want to talk about it just fucking just
Speaker 1: like an advertising fucking ninja just in between sentences. It's
Speaker 1: almost subliminal.
Speaker 2: Made me want to go, I'm like, what am I
Speaker 2: doing Sunday morning?
Speaker 1: Nin I'm thirty, Wow, you can you can come and
Speaker 1: bring a friend for free. So not that you need
Speaker 1: to hear me, but if you are really bored, then
Speaker 1: feel free. But I was thinking about how much we
Speaker 1: live on this kind of auto pilot, or in this
Speaker 1: auto pilot of unconsciousness, where we keep doing things that
Speaker 1: clearly don't work, but nonetheless don't stop them, right because
Speaker 1: it's easy to be, you know, to get up and
Speaker 1: kind of do what you did yesterday, same kind of communication, conversation,
Speaker 1: same breakfast, lunch, dinner or version of it. Even going
Speaker 1: to the gym. Like me as an exercise scientist, I
Speaker 1: love watching people at the gym who basically do the
Speaker 1: same fucking workout for ten years in a row and
Speaker 1: then go, I don't know, you know, I'm here all
Speaker 1: the time, I train hard. Nothing changes. Well, no shit, Sherlock,
Speaker 1: because your body doesn't need to adapt because you don't
Speaker 1: give it a reason. It's like opening the door on
Speaker 1: self awareness and consciousness. It's kind of one of our
Speaker 1: ongoing challenges.
Speaker 2: Yeah, especially in the digital wage as well. Yes, because
Speaker 2: we can get so trapped into that passive consumerism, can't
Speaker 2: we where any space that we have our attention can
Speaker 2: be stolen from social media, from emails, from the news,
Speaker 2: and the thing is, it's all designed to capture our attention.
Speaker 2: If you if you write, if you google expert in attention,
Speaker 2: it's not going to come up with, you know, Buddha,
Speaker 2: it's going to come up with an agency that that
Speaker 2: works on social media. And so that's what it is.
Speaker 2: And so I think we are, Yeah, we are living
Speaker 2: unconsciously because we're not taking control over what we're putting
Speaker 2: our energy into.
Speaker 1: And I think, yeah, I love that, and even the
Speaker 1: idea of conscious you know, it's like social media is
Speaker 1: not going away. Podcasts are not going away. I'm not
Speaker 1: not in the near future anyway, you know, online everything
Speaker 1: is not. So I think it's about even even in
Speaker 1: that space of listening to something, I give things five minutes,
Speaker 1: give or take, and in that five minutes, I go,
Speaker 1: I'm either going to Sometimes I might go I need
Speaker 1: another couple of minutes because I'm not sure, but generally,
Speaker 1: by five minutes, I'm like some time, that's one. But
Speaker 1: I'm going to listen to this or not. Yesterday I
Speaker 1: went for a walk and I was listening to Lex Friedman.
Speaker 1: Do you know who he is? No, Lex Friedman is
Speaker 1: an engineer PhD mit Genius got one of the biggest
Speaker 1: podcasts in the world. Is this Ukrainian slash Russian. I
Speaker 1: think he was born in the Ukraine, grew up in Russia,
Speaker 1: lives in the States. Anyway, really smart guy. Polarizes people
Speaker 1: a bit. But anyway, he had Donald Trump on his podcast,
Speaker 1: right I'm like, ah, okay, sure, And I listened to
Speaker 1: Lex kind of periodically, and I went, fuck, well, I'm
Speaker 1: just curious to what this is going to be. And
Speaker 1: I thought, it doesn't matter, I'm going to listen to
Speaker 1: all of this because even though I have quite strong
Speaker 1: opinions and I just want to listen. And I was
Speaker 1: walking and I was about I left time. I was
Speaker 1: probably about a seven or eight or nine minutes in.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't. I can't do this for an hour.
Speaker 1: It's going to fucking make me dumber. It's like, I
Speaker 1: just I can't. Ah. And I don't hate Trump, and
Speaker 1: I'm not a Trump fan either, but I just like,
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is not a conversation. And some people
Speaker 1: would love it, which is fine, but just for me,
Speaker 1: I'm very careful about what I what I allow my
Speaker 1: brain and my mind to consume. Just like I am
Speaker 1: with what I allow my body to consume. And I
Speaker 1: don't think people understand that, you know, our cognitive diet
Speaker 1: has an impact.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, definitely, But I think a lot of people
Speaker 2: are putting their focus like when you look at say
Speaker 2: something like TikTok or you know, or Instagram, and there's
Speaker 2: a lot of just scrolling, so just looking at other
Speaker 2: people's lives and kind of looking at what they're doing.
Speaker 2: And of course, you know, my kids do this all
Speaker 2: the time. I'm just like, oh, even, you've got something
Speaker 2: better to do. But that's that that sort of constant
Speaker 2: scrolling and constant draw to social media to look at
Speaker 2: other people's lives is taking us away from actively participating
Speaker 2: in our own life.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, and it's really easy to I do it too,
Speaker 1: because my you know, the algorithm knows that if you
Speaker 1: bring up a review on a motorbike or some fucking
Speaker 1: Jack Doude deadlifting two thousand pounds, I'm going to watch it,
Speaker 1: you know. So it's just it's so clever. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's just like a little dopamine machine in my hand.
Speaker 1: I just keep hitting the fucking button, you know.
Speaker 2: And it's it's even just having the mobile phone there,
Speaker 2: like I find that if it's on the bench, and
Speaker 2: I'm very aware of you know, how much time I
Speaker 2: spend on my phone, But before I know it, I'm
Speaker 2: like reaching for it. And if I don't consciously go,
Speaker 2: is this actually what I want to be doing right now,
Speaker 2: I'll just get get sucked into it. It's so easy,
Speaker 2: and that's why there is we need to take control
Speaker 2: of where we're putting our energy and our attention, and
Speaker 2: that starts with awareness.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And it's so easy to like in a
Speaker 1: time as well, where so many people are anxious, so
Speaker 1: many people are burned out, so many people got kind
Speaker 1: of quarters all overload or you know, like and so
Speaker 1: many people are so distracted and also so fucking sad
Speaker 1: and miserable, like you know, and without trying to sound judgy,
Speaker 1: I just like I want to say to people, I
Speaker 1: get it, like I care and you have my empathy,
Speaker 1: and but what are we going to do though? Yes, like, yep,
Speaker 1: I'm going to support you. I'll give you a hug
Speaker 1: if I can tell you I understand, and yes, yep, yep, yep. However,
Speaker 1: what are we doing though, let's fix this? Simply's good
Speaker 1: cares good, loves good, compassions good good. But we also
Speaker 1: need to be strategic because your life ain't going to
Speaker 1: end up magically fucking amazing in a year. So here
Speaker 1: we are, and you've got this awareness that what you're
Speaker 1: doing isn't working.
Speaker 2: So what's the plan? Yeah, what's the action. It's like, Okay,
Speaker 2: this is your situation. What are you going to do?
Speaker 2: What's your next step? And it's that that burnout situation,
Speaker 2: Like we are the number one burnout country in the world.
Speaker 2: And burnout is different to stress. It's like it starts
Speaker 2: with stress and then it leads to burnout. So what's
Speaker 2: happening in that stress space, It's is people are not
Speaker 2: able to manage that stress or they're not reaching out
Speaker 2: to get help or whatever they need to do, and
Speaker 2: then it's then it's moving into burnout. And there seems
Speaker 2: to be this culture in Australia of people being workaholics.
Speaker 2: Like I used to I worked at Sony Music in
Speaker 2: the nineties and there was a culture there of working
Speaker 2: long hours and so you wouldn't leave before seven and
Speaker 2: if you did, you felt guilty and you felt like
Speaker 2: you're being judged, and you might leave you job so
Speaker 2: it was a bit of fear there. But the difference
Speaker 2: is now is that I could leave the office at
Speaker 2: seven or seven thirty and no one could contact me
Speaker 2: because back then we couldn't be contacted. But now what
Speaker 2: I'm finding and from my experience, I haven't got the
Speaker 2: data on this, but from my clients, a lot of
Speaker 2: this is in the financial sector, is that there is
Speaker 2: this culture of you work hard, you are available what
Speaker 2: seems like twenty four to seven, You get home, you
Speaker 2: might spend a bit of time with the family, and
Speaker 2: then you're back online. Yes, and that is that is
Speaker 2: this constant, constant state of being switched on and no recovery.
Speaker 2: And that's where I talked to my clients about treating
Speaker 2: themselves like their athletes, because you don't have an athlete
Speaker 2: that goes jews a really hard date the track today
Speaker 2: and I'm feeling exhausted, I might crack open a bottle
Speaker 2: of wine.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: They want to recover, yes, so they prioritize their sleep,
Speaker 2: they prioritize their nutrition and their hydration and you know,
Speaker 2: and their mindset stuff. So treating ourselves and looking at
Speaker 2: how are we racow am I recovering is just so
Speaker 2: important because that recovery can be really effective, active, mindful recovery,
Speaker 2: or it can be mindless and numbing recovery. And it's
Speaker 2: knowing the difference between the two.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be blatant plugging that plugs to today.
Speaker 1: But I was just doing a little post that I'm
Speaker 1: going to put up tonight. I'm doing a workshop next Tuesday,
Speaker 1: and this ties in and it's just called love your Body, right,
Speaker 1: that's the workshop. It's online. It's called love your Body,
Speaker 1: And so it's got this kind of image love your body,
Speaker 1: and underneath in brackets it's got you can't get a
Speaker 1: new one, right, and same you know, with our mental health,
Speaker 1: our emotional health, our physical health, sometimes we wait till
Speaker 1: shit breaks. You know. We're kind of reactive, not proactive,
Speaker 1: all the while knowing I'm not good and this is
Speaker 1: not good. You know, we really need like you know,
Speaker 1: like you think about how much focus and attention we
Speaker 1: give to I might sound judging judged to today. I
Speaker 1: don't mean to, but because I've done it too, right,
Speaker 1: So I'm putting up just time, energy, attention to shit
Speaker 1: that really doesn't really matter that much, you know, But
Speaker 1: what really matters is that my brain works, and my
Speaker 1: mind works, and my emotions are not totally in the
Speaker 1: gata all the time or most of the time, and
Speaker 1: that my body and my lungs and my heart and
Speaker 1: my muscles and my movement and my posture. You know,
Speaker 1: it's life isn't about that. But if you're physically, mental
Speaker 1: and emotionally, I'm well, well the fuck the rest doesn't
Speaker 1: matter that much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And I think if you're I think it
Speaker 2: goes back to that, Okay, I'm struggling. It's that question
Speaker 2: of what am I going to do? And that's why
Speaker 2: I know everyone knows about mental health. We talk a
Speaker 2: lot about mental health, and we talk about self care,
Speaker 2: but I prefer to talk about mental fitness because mental fitness,
Speaker 2: like physical fitness, it's something that you have to work
Speaker 2: on and you have to work on it every single day.
Speaker 2: And we're training our brains to be able to not
Speaker 2: only just cope, but to be able to thrive or
Speaker 2: to be able to keep going even when times are challenging.
Speaker 2: And I think mental fitness to me implies action, whereas
Speaker 2: mental health and self care is just a little bit.
Speaker 2: And I know we do have to look after our
Speaker 2: mental health. But that needs to encompass not just our minds,
Speaker 2: but our nutrition, our fitness, our sleep, our connection, and
Speaker 2: all those things that make up a healthy, effective human.
Speaker 1: For me, the analogy is it's like, oh, don't pick
Speaker 1: up those boxes. You might hurt your back. You know,
Speaker 1: you've got to look after your back. But a self
Speaker 1: care for your back, I might or or I could
Speaker 1: pick up some light boxes, and then I could eventually
Speaker 1: pick up some medium boxes, not too many boxes, and
Speaker 1: then eventually some fucking heavy boxes, and then I don't
Speaker 1: have to avoid the boxes. Now I'm strong, and if
Speaker 1: life puts some boxes on my path, I don't have
Speaker 1: to get someone else to come and cheer me on
Speaker 1: or lift the boxes. I can lift the fucking boxes.
Speaker 1: You know why, because I got strong.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So there's this there's this space in between self care
Speaker 1: but also self empowerment, you know where Yeah, And I
Speaker 1: know what you're saying. I think you know is that
Speaker 1: we need to love, care, support, But there's got to
Speaker 1: be you know, like the world doesn't give a fuck
Speaker 1: about your feelings or your emotions, or your outcomes or
Speaker 1: your sore back. So and the only person who can
Speaker 1: write your story is you. So you know it's like,
Speaker 1: come on, oh, cheer you on. I'll support you, I'll
Speaker 1: love you, but I can't go for a run for you.
Speaker 1: I can't have a good attitude for you, I can't
Speaker 1: make hard decisions for you, and I can't be resilient
Speaker 1: for you. So while I will care and support you,
Speaker 1: still need to do some work.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The stoics. The stoics have got this
Speaker 2: the art of acquiescence, and that is isn't it sound
Speaker 2: that that's such a.
Speaker 1: Cool word, that's fancy for us.
Speaker 2: The heart of acquiescence is to really surrender and accept
Speaker 2: the things that we cannot change, right and so so,
Speaker 2: and by accepting that, we can then move our attention
Speaker 2: to the things that we can change. And so it's
Speaker 2: those it's that epicteators who talked about the zones of control.
Speaker 2: So we said, our lives are into zone. Zone one
Speaker 2: are all the things we can control, and zone two.
Speaker 2: Zone two are all the things that we can't control.
Speaker 2: And so often we're putting our focus on zone two
Speaker 2: and that's where we struggle because that's they are the
Speaker 2: things we cannot control, and often the wish for things
Speaker 2: to be different than they are is. It's a contradiction
Speaker 2: of to what is reality? So being aware of that
Speaker 2: and then turning out, okay, what can I do in
Speaker 2: this situation? So if I get home from seven o'clock
Speaker 2: at seven o'clock at night, and I have had such
Speaker 2: a stressful day and my mind is just like going
Speaker 2: with all the things that happen today and all the
Speaker 2: things I've got to do tomorrow. Okay, you can accept
Speaker 2: that you can't change that. You can't change what's just happened,
Speaker 2: and you can't change what's happening tomorrow, but you can
Speaker 2: focus on right here, right now, and what's important. What
Speaker 2: is my purpose? If we talk about purpose, it doesn't
Speaker 2: have to be this big, grandiose purpose that's sort of
Speaker 2: out of touch. It's the purpose in this moment. And
Speaker 2: maybe that is to be to put your parent hat
Speaker 2: on your mom hat or your dad hat and be
Speaker 2: focused on your kids through a period of time. Well
Speaker 2: maybe you just maybe you just got to cook dinner,
Speaker 2: or maybe you just got to clean up the kitchen.
Speaker 2: It's focusing on that, knowing that all the other things
Speaker 2: beyond my control.
Speaker 1: And I think the question we can ask is in
Speaker 1: terms of what I want to get done, need to
Speaker 1: get done. You know, I ask myself a form of
Speaker 1: this every morning. I go in terms of what I
Speaker 1: want to do be create and change today. You can
Speaker 1: write this down if you want, folks, In terms of
Speaker 1: what I want to do, be create and change today,
Speaker 1: what's the best investment of my energy?
Speaker 2: Oh? You know love that love it? Yeah, that's intentional living,
Speaker 2: that is Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, it's like it brings my focus to where because
Speaker 1: I you know, I'm like a dog with three dicks.
Speaker 1: I've got the attention span of a fucking fat kid
Speaker 1: in a cake shop shop because I used to be
Speaker 1: a fat kid in a cake shop. So, you know,
Speaker 1: but I really need to keep raining my mind back
Speaker 1: in because my mind is busy and sometimes busy good
Speaker 1: and sometimes busy bad. But it's fucking busy. So if
Speaker 1: I don't have some you know, some guardrails, some metaphoric guardrails,
Speaker 1: like for the bowling ball, the mind that is the
Speaker 1: bowling ball that is my mind will not stay in
Speaker 1: the fucking lane.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I go in terms of what I want to do,
Speaker 1: be creating change today. What you know, where does my
Speaker 1: energy or my attention or my focus need to be.
Speaker 1: And then I jot down. Then I kind of do
Speaker 1: my you know, my to do list, but my priority list,
Speaker 1: you know, because I go, well, this needs to have
Speaker 1: sixty percent of my attention today, Like today, sixty percent
Speaker 1: of my attention is on my Sunday workshop and we're
Speaker 1: recording this Thursday afternoon, and so I do other things.
Speaker 1: But I've got two documents open. I've got a massive
Speaker 1: screen here, you're on your on one screen in the middle,
Speaker 1: and then right right to either side of you, I've
Speaker 1: got two a four documents, which is my workshop. And
Speaker 1: I just keep you know, I work for a bit,
Speaker 1: then I'll go have a cup of tea. Then while
Speaker 1: I'm having a couple of hours, fuck yeah, then I'll
Speaker 1: come up. I'll jop down for twenty minutes, and I
Speaker 1: keep coming back, and by the end end of today,
Speaker 1: I'll probably have six or seven hours of energy and
Speaker 1: effort and productivity gone into my workshop that came out
Speaker 1: out of this morning six thirty kind of you know,
Speaker 1: rumination about the day.
Speaker 2: Do you when you're ruminating about the day, I would say,
Speaker 2: planning your day? Yeah, are you writing it down on
Speaker 2: your whiteboard?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I write stuff in my I write stuff in
Speaker 1: my phone and periodically take my laptop. But I am
Speaker 1: between about six ish and eight ish. Yeah, my mind's great,
Speaker 1: and I just mean for me great. Yeah, so fucking excited,
Speaker 1: so curious, so fresh, so many ideas. I also have.
Speaker 1: You know, you can't see them because I've got a backdrop.
Speaker 1: But over my left shoulder, I have a big whiteboard,
Speaker 1: right shoulder, big whiteboard. In my bedroom, I have a
Speaker 1: gigantic whiteboard, which is very sexy, I might add, doubt
Speaker 1: so like a seven foot whiteboard. In my kitchen, I've
Speaker 1: got a seven foot whiteboard, and in my recording studio,
Speaker 1: I've got an eight foot whiteboard, and I'm constantly and
Speaker 1: I've got whiteboard markers all over the house, so I'm
Speaker 1: constantly stopping at a whiteboard writing an idea down. And
Speaker 1: people come into my joint and go, this is fucking weird.
Speaker 1: I go, I know, and then I take them because
Speaker 1: obviously I don't take people into my bedroom. And I go, well,
Speaker 1: here's the weirdest one, and they go into my bedroom.
Speaker 1: The whole wall is a whiteboard with ideas and quotes
Speaker 1: and fucking you know, like thoughts, questions. But it's just
Speaker 1: I feel like the wacky scientist who's got experiments going
Speaker 1: on everywhere. And if I don't get it out of
Speaker 1: my head and onto a screen or a whiteboard or
Speaker 1: a bit of paper, I might lose it. So I'm
Speaker 1: really I'm really careful about that.
Speaker 2: I love that. And I'm the same. You can't hear
Speaker 2: my dog barking hand no, no, heismans bloody dog.
Speaker 1: We love dogs. You we're a dog. We're a dog
Speaker 1: friendly postter post. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I'm the same. So it's that morning, and this
Speaker 2: is what I want to encourage everybody to do, especially
Speaker 2: if you are crazy busy at work, is find some
Speaker 2: space in the morning where there are no inputs, like
Speaker 2: don't even don't touch your phone, don't look at your email.
Speaker 2: Just find that time to have some space just to
Speaker 2: be creative, just to even sit and think, like just
Speaker 2: spend time with the dog. And because it is such
Speaker 2: an opportunity to to be able to have a bit
Speaker 2: of freedom, just to be you and not have all
Speaker 2: these distractions coming in. And I'm the same. So Paul
Speaker 2: for my birthday bought me this. It's like a digital
Speaker 2: notebook called Remarkable. Have you heard of them?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so, and.
Speaker 1: I love it. I've TI got one. Tiff writes notes
Speaker 1: when we're doing a show, and then she sends me
Speaker 1: a screenshot of the notes. So yeah, yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Love it because I'm the same. I don't have the
Speaker 2: whiteboard scattered everywhere, but I was having notebooks like I
Speaker 2: just have. I've got shelves full of notebooks where I'm
Speaker 2: just like scribbling stuff and then I kind of forget
Speaker 2: where things are and I might not go back and
Speaker 2: read it, but I find the remarkable is good now
Speaker 2: because I've got it with me. And in the morning,
Speaker 2: I will get up, I will make a cup of coffee,
Speaker 2: which I know maybe I shouldn't be doing, because that's
Speaker 2: like a stimulant that I enjoy it. It's like that
Speaker 2: is part of what I will call my iggy guy.
Speaker 2: It's my little joy that I have in the morning,
Speaker 2: and I will sit there before anybody has got up,
Speaker 2: and I just ideas will just come and I'll just
Speaker 2: start writing and it excites me. It's really it's such
Speaker 2: a good way to start the day. If you start
Speaker 2: the day like a lot of people have their mobile
Speaker 2: phones by their beds, and yeah they've got them on
Speaker 2: aeroplane mode, but you wake up and the first you
Speaker 2: seeze your mobile phone, there is that temptation there to go, oh,
Speaker 2: just check the newser I'll just check, you know, my
Speaker 2: Instagram post. It's it's immediate input before you've even put
Speaker 2: your feet on the ground. So I would encourage the
Speaker 2: fine out of the bedroom and you get yourself just
Speaker 2: an alarm clock. I've just got a normal alarm clock,
Speaker 2: and so you're not tempted with that, and you can
Speaker 2: ease into the morning and give your brain a bit
Speaker 2: of a break all outside stuff coming in. And if
Speaker 2: it's a nice day, go outside and just breathe the
Speaker 2: air and feel the feel the know the breeze on
Speaker 2: your skin, and smell only aroamas and just just be
Speaker 2: a bit in nature as well, even if it's just
Speaker 2: in your backyard.
Speaker 1: And I think, like, which is following on from what
Speaker 1: you're saying, is that different things work for different people, right,
Speaker 1: So some people like for me getting up, getting on
Speaker 1: one of my motorbikes, riding to the cafe, having a coffee.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like this little ritual that works on
Speaker 1: a range of levels for me. But for someone else
Speaker 1: that would be the worst protocol. But for me it's great.
Speaker 1: And like me breakfast and then dinner. Great. That works
Speaker 1: for me, That keeps me lean, I'm not starving through
Speaker 1: the day. Great. You know me lifting weights in the afternoon. Great.
Speaker 1: If I want to do cardio mornings better, right, you know.
Speaker 1: And so in this whole kind of what we could
Speaker 1: in general terms called process of self management. You know,
Speaker 1: we get to figure out because we're always getting data,
Speaker 1: you know, we get to figure out how our mind
Speaker 1: or our brain, our our body best operates under what conditions.
Speaker 1: And then when we pay attention, we go, you know what,
Speaker 1: my fucking I'm smarter in the morning. Cool, So do
Speaker 1: that cognitive stuff before midday if that's possible, or when
Speaker 1: I'm when I do this, then I get grumpy. Cool,
Speaker 1: let's not do that then, or let's figure out a
Speaker 1: way to do it when you're less tired, or you know,
Speaker 1: when I eat this food, I always have intergestion, interject, well,
Speaker 1: here's an idea, you know, and it's just I know
Speaker 1: these are simple things. But the amount of us, including me,
Speaker 1: at times, who we keep fucking doing what doesn't work,
Speaker 1: and our body or our outcomes or our internal sat
Speaker 1: nab that internal wisdom is screaming at us and we're
Speaker 1: like fingers in the la la la la. You know
Speaker 1: it's it's that's the epitome of living unconsciously.
Speaker 2: Yeah, is that Aristotle know thyself, isn't it.
Speaker 1: That's the first thing in my thesis. Did you know that?
Speaker 2: I no, I didn't.
Speaker 1: Yeh, yeah. Yeah, Well that's one of the first things
Speaker 1: because it's all about because my whole you know, project
Speaker 1: is about self awareness. Anyway, sorry I interrupted.
Speaker 2: Well I was, I use I use journals for that
Speaker 2: to know myself, and I put down I write, I
Speaker 2: used my journals to write down data. So I will
Speaker 2: write down what exercise I've done, you know, if I
Speaker 2: go for a run or do the you know, how
Speaker 2: long it went, how long it took me to go,
Speaker 2: what distance and and or and then I'll write down,
Speaker 2: you know, my nutrition and so just the data. And
Speaker 2: then i'll you know, might write down how I felt
Speaker 2: like I felt a bit tired today, and then I
Speaker 2: kind of work out why it's like, okay, well it's
Speaker 2: because I didn't have a good night's sleep last night,
Speaker 2: or I had a glass of wine with a friend
Speaker 2: last night that's affected my sleep. And but then what
Speaker 2: I can do is I can kind of look at
Speaker 2: my journal and see patterns and isn't that interesting. I'm
Speaker 2: just repeating something that wasn't working for me, and I
Speaker 2: can see in my journel I keep doing that, like
Speaker 2: what is that about? And that's that's been amazing for
Speaker 2: me to have this, I guess, heightened awareness of my
Speaker 2: own behaviors and my automatic behaviors, so got my unconscious
Speaker 2: conscious go tos, I guess. And then once you once
Speaker 2: you work out these default behaviors that are not working
Speaker 2: for you, then you can change them. But you have
Speaker 2: to know you first.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love in that sense. Before tracking was a thing,
Speaker 1: they have trackers these they have trackers, you know, the
Speaker 1: young kids, electronic trackers. Back in my day, we had
Speaker 1: a fucking exercise book. But when Paul first started working
Speaker 1: with me up at Harper's on the Highway, even before that,
Speaker 1: we had what we then called food and training diaries.
Speaker 1: And this is quarter of a century ago. Can you
Speaker 1: believe that, Carlie fucker long ago?
Speaker 2: Was that? And when did you meet Paul? Because my
Speaker 2: daughter's eighteen and I'm sure when you met Paul, I
Speaker 2: don't think she even born, so it must be no.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, I met Paul, not like close to the
Speaker 1: turn of the century, like it's twenty twenty four, right,
Speaker 1: it would have been very two thousands. But even back then,
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five years ago, even thirty years ago, when
Speaker 1: I was thirty, all of my clients had diaries, all
Speaker 1: of them. All of them had training, food, exercise, lifestyle
Speaker 1: diaries where sleep, food, micros, macros, energy levels, booze, supplements, medication, coffee, tea,
Speaker 1: anything that would have an impact on basically performance, health, wellness.
Speaker 1: Energy was tracked and people used to go to me,
Speaker 1: why do you bother? And I go because it literally
Speaker 1: teaches me what works for the individual. You know. So
Speaker 1: let's say I'm training you on a Monday morning and
Speaker 1: I haven't seen you since Thursday morning, So then you
Speaker 1: rock up with Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. So that's ninety
Speaker 1: six hours of data and then you jump on the bike.
Speaker 1: I go, just do a warm up, Khli. I look
Speaker 1: at four pages of information, and then I talk to
Speaker 1: you about what's going on, and then you become more
Speaker 1: aware and because you've got to track it and then
Speaker 1: I'm going to read it. Now you're more accountable and
Speaker 1: you're more likely to stay on track, and so there's
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of benefits. But people would make progress
Speaker 1: in six months that other people who didn't track anything
Speaker 1: would not make in two years, because you're literally teaching
Speaker 1: yourself about your own body physiology and responses, you know,
Speaker 1: and what works. Oh guess what? When I sleep this much?
Speaker 1: My energy is a three, my moods are a one.
Speaker 1: I'm a prec to be around. Oh here's a good
Speaker 1: correlation or here's a good realization.
Speaker 2: Yeah, ask go on, I can say I use that
Speaker 2: the emotion that for emotions as well. So I will write,
Speaker 2: but what I will try and do is write it
Speaker 2: down without the emotions. So this isn't I'm not venting anything.
Speaker 2: I'm not putting down my emotions well as me. I'm going, okay,
Speaker 2: I felt this way today, and this is how I
Speaker 2: responded to it. And then I'm able to kind of
Speaker 2: then understand what my response is to these emotions or
Speaker 2: these negative thought patterns come up, So that I think
Speaker 2: that's bringing that awareness too, and realizing that if you
Speaker 2: and it's all that metacognition isn't it is noticing your
Speaker 2: thoughts and noticing the emotion and then creating that space
Speaker 2: to be able to go okay, well, I get that
Speaker 2: that keeps showing up for me, but I don't need
Speaker 2: to get entangled up in that. I don't need to.
Speaker 2: I don't need to allow it to dictate my behavior
Speaker 2: and what I do. And I find that has been
Speaker 2: hugely helpful for me.
Speaker 1: I love that. I remember thinking, remember having this realization,
Speaker 1: this is this is not going to be good for
Speaker 1: my brand, my already dodgy brand. But I remember having
Speaker 1: this realization, Ah, this is years ago, not that many.
Speaker 1: I wish it was more years ago, but well even still,
Speaker 1: every now and then where I go, I'm in a
Speaker 1: conversation or a situation and I have this little, like
Speaker 1: fucking voice on my shoulder that goes, ah, what's that about?
Speaker 1: And I realize I'm trying to impress someone, Like I
Speaker 1: realize I'm just putting a bit of mayo on the
Speaker 1: story or maybe leaving a bit out, you know, and
Speaker 1: maybe just turning up the volume on the good bits.
Speaker 1: And then I just I kind of in real time,
Speaker 1: I get amused at myself at like, you're sixty years old,
Speaker 1: you're fucking insecure, You're trying to impress someone. The fuck
Speaker 1: is wrong? With you.
Speaker 2: But the good news is real time.
Speaker 1: I do it, I literally do it. It's like this,
Speaker 1: this is true. This happened the other day. So there's
Speaker 1: this young guy that works at the cafe. He's got
Speaker 1: a motorbike. It's an a Prillia. It's beautiful, it's I
Speaker 1: think it's a six sixty. He's young, and I arrived
Speaker 1: at the cafe at the same time as him. I
Speaker 1: was on my scooter, which is worth about ten dollars.
Speaker 1: But I've got three beautiful, amazing, big, expensive, fast, powerful
Speaker 1: motorbikes at home. Right, he's on his Aprillia. I'm on
Speaker 1: my scooter. It took me fucking every ounce of self
Speaker 1: control not to tell him about my motorbikes. Right, He's
Speaker 1: looking at my scooter and I'm like, oh god, he's
Speaker 1: judging me on my scooter. And I'm like, what is
Speaker 1: wrong with you? And so I just started asking him
Speaker 1: about his bike and told him and it is it's beautiful,
Speaker 1: you know, it's amazing, and that, aren't it? And he
Speaker 1: felt great because he had this awesome thing. And I
Speaker 1: have this bi shit. I fucking hate self awareness. It's
Speaker 1: a pain.
Speaker 2: Gosh. Well, it just shows you human doesn't it.
Speaker 1: I'm very human. A couple of things before we wind up.
Speaker 1: So we spoke before about it's almost like the busyness badge,
Speaker 1: you know, the busy badge, Oh, how I'm busy?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, or the busy brag. It's like it's like being
Speaker 1: busy is like a good thing. I'm going to brag
Speaker 1: about how busy I am. What's your take on that?
Speaker 1: What's your take on this kind of I don't know,
Speaker 1: the pride that we take in being so busy or
Speaker 1: telling people that we're busy and wearing it like some
Speaker 1: kind of social badge of honor or professional badge of honor.
Speaker 1: Is that I a thought? But what do you think?
Speaker 1: What do you think that's about?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a lot of people wrap there identity up
Speaker 2: in this busyness and their work and kind of aspiring
Speaker 2: to be successful. And I think I think there's a
Speaker 2: lot of emphasis on individual success. We used to we
Speaker 2: used to be more community minded, we used to be
Speaker 2: more part of the collective, but now it's this individualism
Speaker 2: and maybe that's where people put this importance on being
Speaker 2: busy to show that they're worthy. I think what the
Speaker 2: danger is and this is something about traditional Japanese culture,
Speaker 2: which I absolutely love, is that they take so much,
Speaker 2: They put so much focus and join attention into the
Speaker 2: small things in life, the everyday thing, so you know,
Speaker 2: whether it's nature or whether it's just doing whatever you're
Speaker 2: doing well. And I think that is something that's overall
Speaker 2: missing in our Western culture, is slowing down and enjoying
Speaker 2: the moments that we have today and expanding our perspective
Speaker 2: of our lives to the amazing things that amazing things
Speaker 2: we are given from others, but also nature itself and
Speaker 2: just going outside and just appreciating life. And that's something
Speaker 2: that I'm started to practice, is to take a lot
Speaker 2: of joy in the small things and do the small
Speaker 2: things well.
Speaker 1: You said before. I love that. I thought it was
Speaker 1: about identity as well. So we're on the same page.
Speaker 1: You said before that stress is not burnout. I think
Speaker 1: you said kind of this how I took it, that
Speaker 1: stress is like the pathway to burn out. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like it's the conduit to burn out. So we know
Speaker 1: what stress is. What is burnout then?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: And I know this is I know people define it
Speaker 1: in different ways, but what's your explanation to us of
Speaker 1: or your understanding of burnout.
Speaker 2: My understanding of burnout is you get to a point
Speaker 2: where there's a bit of apathy that you kind of
Speaker 2: there's a lack of interest in what you're doing, a
Speaker 2: lack of focus and exhaustion. So that I think that's
Speaker 2: my take on burnout. And it affects your ability to
Speaker 2: function or function effectively, isn't it funny?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think it's. Yeah, I'm with you. I think
Speaker 1: it's also physical, mental, emotional. I think it's all of it,
Speaker 1: and it's funny. How not lately I haven't had one
Speaker 1: for a while, But I don't know about you, but
Speaker 1: some days, not often maybe where are we now, September.
Speaker 1: I've had maybe five this year where some days I
Speaker 1: just feel flat and it's not it's very unme. Maybe
Speaker 1: four days this year, but every now and then and
Speaker 1: I don't feel like, I feel sad and I feel flat,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I don't think I've ever been like,
Speaker 1: I've never been clinically depressed, but I'm not really like.
Speaker 1: I'm generally all all the stuff, you know, curious, interested, cheeky.
Speaker 4: Annoying, all that, But every now and then I have
Speaker 4: a day where I'm like, ah, fuck, I feel but
Speaker 4: it gives me compassion for people because I'm like, this
Speaker 4: is terrible. I don't know why I feel like this
Speaker 4: today I can't identify the cause. And then the next
Speaker 4: day I get up and I'm good, But what do
Speaker 4: you reckon that's about?
Speaker 1: Look?
Speaker 2: I think I think that's it's it's normal. And I
Speaker 2: think we we because we have problem solving minds, we
Speaker 2: want to solve that problem and go, so, why am
Speaker 2: I feeling sad? Now there might be whether you're feeling
Speaker 2: sad or whether you have fear or anxiety, there might
Speaker 2: be a message there, and so that's a good question
Speaker 2: to ask. It's like what and maybe rather why am
Speaker 2: I feeling like this?
Speaker 1: Is?
Speaker 2: What is this telling me? What is my body telling me?
Speaker 2: Because a lot of the time, like with anxiety, a
Speaker 2: lot of the time it's telling you to do something
Speaker 2: with sad as if you can't work out why you're
Speaker 2: feeling sad, then I think that's when you just make
Speaker 2: room for the sadness and stop putting your attention on
Speaker 2: to trying and problem solve it and go, Okay, well,
Speaker 2: what's my baseline today? Because normally my baseline's going to
Speaker 2: be a bit higher, And I can do this, this,
Speaker 2: and this and this because I'm feeling great. If you've
Speaker 2: got lack of energy and you're feeling sad, it's like, okay,
Speaker 2: what's today's baseline, and you can always do something like
Speaker 2: you It might be that you don't, you know, do
Speaker 2: the workout as hard as you normally would, but you
Speaker 2: can still go and do the workout and modify it
Speaker 2: to your energy levels. It might be that you go
Speaker 2: and just clean out a draw, you know, just do
Speaker 2: something that there's always there is no point getting so
Speaker 2: wrapped up in the sadness that it stops you from
Speaker 2: doing things, because there's always something that you can do.
Speaker 2: And what happens, and this isn't the end goal here,
Speaker 2: but what often happens is that once you start to
Speaker 2: do that thing, then the sadness can dissipate. And I'll
Speaker 2: give you example of this. My daughter Kira. She's doing
Speaker 2: her year twelve. She's studying so hard, and she came
Speaker 2: home the other day and she's very good at communicating it.
Speaker 2: She said, I'm just feeling really flat, so I knew
Speaker 2: she didn't want to talk to me, but she did
Speaker 2: a good job. We've had this conversation before it's like, Okay,
Speaker 2: there are going to be days where you are feeling flat,
Speaker 2: that you're feeling tired. It's big year this year, so
Speaker 2: let's find strategies of what you're going to do when
Speaker 2: you feel like this. So to give her credit, she
Speaker 2: wasn't that she wasn't sort of snapping at me and
Speaker 2: being the normal teenager. But what she did do is
Speaker 2: she took herself off to cross it, and she did
Speaker 2: with her friend, and at the end of it, she
Speaker 2: was a different person. So she could have chosen to
Speaker 2: go into her bedroom and just lie on lie on
Speaker 2: the bed and just be in the sadness, but she
Speaker 2: chose to take the sadness with her. She went to
Speaker 2: her exercise class, and then she felt great.
Speaker 1: That is so fucking evolved. I want to be as
Speaker 1: much as a grown up as Kira. But you know,
Speaker 1: you also said something else interesting, and this is me
Speaker 1: craigifying what you said. So if I get it wrong,
Speaker 1: correct me. But I feel like, sometimes you know, if
Speaker 1: we feel sad, or if like sometimes I feel like
Speaker 1: an impostor, or sometimes there's some self doubt or like,
Speaker 1: rather than trying to fix it or change it in
Speaker 1: the moment, just coexist with it and go ah, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: So you feel a bit anxious, that's all right, it'll go.
Speaker 1: Lots of people get anxious, You'll be you'll be fine.
Speaker 1: Or well, you feel a bit of self doubt or
Speaker 1: you feel like an impostor that's understandable. That's okay, you know,
Speaker 1: but that doesn't need to dictate what I do next.
Speaker 1: Like that doesn't need to define my day, That's right,
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2: I think it's.
Speaker 1: Part of that.
Speaker 2: I think it's part of that acceptance. Acceptance too is
Speaker 2: that sometimes you can't have one thing without the other,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. It's it's it's like there's
Speaker 2: always two sides to the coin. So if you really
Speaker 2: care about something, the other side of the coin of
Speaker 2: that is anxiety or like nothing that we do really
Speaker 2: comes with all just the positive stuff, there's always a
Speaker 2: bit of fear, anxiety or sadness, so that we have
Speaker 2: to really understand that that's the balance of life. And
Speaker 2: so that's where coexisting with this stuff, rather than trying
Speaker 2: to struggle and fight it really helps. And that's uncomfortable
Speaker 2: and it's hard, and it's a skill, and it's one
Speaker 2: that I will. I am still working on, but I
Speaker 2: think to have that awareness that as part of our
Speaker 2: human as part of our humanness, we feel this landscape
Speaker 2: of emotions and some of them are tough and really hard.
Speaker 2: But if we keep putting our attention on them, that's
Speaker 2: when they're going to get even more intense. Because, as
Speaker 2: you said, attention is energy. So if we can just
Speaker 2: allow them to be there, but put our energy into
Speaker 2: other things that are important to us, then we can
Speaker 2: have that balance there.
Speaker 1: You're the best. That's why I get you back, Carli.
Speaker 1: How can people connect with you? Find you, follow you
Speaker 1: unless your services?
Speaker 2: So Carlie Taylor, it's a mouthful Carlietaylor Coaching dot com
Speaker 2: dot au. You can follow me on Instagram which is
Speaker 2: Carlie Taylor Coaching, and I will also plug my Joe Mondays.
Speaker 2: So every Monday I do just a bit of it.
Speaker 2: It's really a bit of a coaching tip on the
Speaker 2: Paul Tayler Podcast. It's just a five minute thing. So yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm there every Monday.
Speaker 1: Perfect Paul Taylor Podcast. Carli Tayler love chatting with you.
Speaker 1: Appreciate your insight and your input. You are invaluable and
Speaker 1: I pay you zero. You're welcome, but you know I
Speaker 1: love you. We'll say goodbye Fair, but for now, thanks Carlie.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks for having Mesia.