1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:02,960 Speaker 1: I got your bloody champions. Welcome to another instorm with 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 1: the Year Project. One of my favorite people in the world. 3 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:08,320 Speaker 1: I don't say that lightly Carly Taylor, the better half 4 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 1: of Paul Taylor. Of course she's here again, and I'm 5 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,959 Speaker 1: excited because we spoke recently and this How do I 6 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:22,120 Speaker 1: say this without sounding you know, when you think, oh shit, 7 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 1: I'm about to say something that it could sound condescending, 8 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 1: I don't mean it too. But you've always been clever, 9 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: and you've always been smart. You've always had this beautiful 10 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 1: energy and a nice way of communicating. But I feel 11 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 1: like you've realized. I feel like you're better. I feel 12 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,840 Speaker 1: like you've evolved. You know, like you were good, but now, 13 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: like last time we chatted. I don't know whether it's 14 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 1: you know more stuff, or you're more confident, or perhaps 15 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:50,199 Speaker 1: I'm less terrifying to you, or or you've kind of 16 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,919 Speaker 1: figured out the art and the science of podcasting. Like 17 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 1: when I listened back to me six years ago, I 18 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 1: fucking that I don't love me at the best of times. 19 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 1: That's a that's a whole episode. There isn't that, Carli. 20 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:04,840 Speaker 1: And then when I was eight, no one came to 21 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 1: my birthday. 22 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:07,279 Speaker 2: Well, Lie, you're on the couch. 23 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:10,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, but I you know, I feel much better 24 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,319 Speaker 1: now doing this because it just feels like my natural 25 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: habitat What about you, Do you feel more comfy? Yeah? 26 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:21,320 Speaker 2: That is such an interesting observation because I don't know 27 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 2: if I feel more comfy. But I think what I'm 28 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:30,680 Speaker 2: able to do is sit with the discomfort. And I 29 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 2: really yeah, so I always, I always get nervous. So 30 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,760 Speaker 2: and I guess the nerves are around God, Am I 31 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:38,959 Speaker 2: going to say the right thing? Am I going to 32 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 2: be interested? You know that internal chatter they're in a 33 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 2: chatter it's like and which is normal because you know, 34 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 2: I think you have to have that because you care 35 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:49,920 Speaker 2: and because you want to do a good job. So 36 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 2: it kind of comes with it. And I think I've 37 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 2: accepted that. 38 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 1: Yeah. 39 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 2: I will often talk to myself and that part of 40 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:05,880 Speaker 2: me who I call Wilma. I will I will actually say, look, thanks, 41 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 2: this actually isn't helpful. Can you just sit out in 42 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 2: the other room? Like I know I can't get rid 43 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,920 Speaker 2: of it, and I know this sounds really weird, but 44 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 2: I actually do talk to that part of me and 45 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 2: them just to leave, just for the moment. What cha. 46 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 1: I mean, this is good. I mean, I know what 47 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: we're going to talk about, we're going to get there. 48 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 1: But I love this because it's organic and real and unplanned. Right. 49 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 1: So one of the things that one of my is 50 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 1: one of my issues, is if I've got to do 51 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:36,959 Speaker 1: a gig, like a corporate gig like your husband does 52 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 1: a lot, and I if I've got to talk at 53 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 1: nine o'clock, I want to get to the room at 54 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 1: five to nine. But they don't want me to get 55 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: to the room at five to nine. They want me 56 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,399 Speaker 1: to be there at fucking eight o'clock for a sound check, 57 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: which nobody needs because anyone can do that. And then 58 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 1: they want me to be in the room at like 59 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: eight point thirty. But I often say to them, if 60 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,399 Speaker 1: you want the best me, just don't make me sit 61 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 1: up the back for an hour listening to shit I 62 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 1: don't want to listen to or like it doesn't I 63 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:13,680 Speaker 1: need to be off doing something, even if I'm in 64 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,919 Speaker 1: the gym until eight thirty, Like if I'm at a hotel, 65 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: then I come up, I go, I'm in my room. 66 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: I know I'm speaking at nine. I'm not going to 67 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 1: learn anything more. I'm not going to be any more prepared. 68 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 1: I'm not going to change my strategy. Then I put 69 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 1: on you know, I splashed my face because I've already 70 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 1: had a shower. I'll change you into my fucking frock 71 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: and then I walk down and then about eight minutes 72 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 1: after I get in the room, they intro me. And 73 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: it tends to work well. Like I I was going 74 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: to say, even that sounds arrogant, but even someone who's 75 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: been doing corporate gigs for nearly thirty years, I still 76 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 1: have to have my little protocol because I can, I 77 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 1: can overthink it if I have too much time just 78 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 1: in limbo, you know. 79 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, so what happens when you do You have to 80 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 2: be there early because that's very much that you need 81 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 2: to have control over that process. And then sometimes you 82 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 2: don't have control of it because they are going to 83 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 2: insist that yet early. So how do you handle that? 84 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 2: How do you if the overthinking starts? 85 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 1: Well? What? 86 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 2: So? 87 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 1: On a practical level, they'll say, you know, we want 88 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 1: you to do a sound check or something, which is silly. 89 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 1: They just really want to make sure I'm there. I think, 90 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:29,120 Speaker 1: so I do that, and I'll say, look, you know, 91 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: if it's possible, I'll say, do you mind if I 92 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,600 Speaker 1: sit in outside outside the room, but ten feet away, 93 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,920 Speaker 1: sitting on a couch. But I'll just I'll just post 94 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,960 Speaker 1: it on Instagram, or I'll write an inspirational message, or 95 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 1: I'll plan for the thing that I've got tomorrow. Like 96 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 1: I try not to think about what's coming. Yep, not 97 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:52,000 Speaker 1: because I'm scared, but because it doesn't improve my performance, 98 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,280 Speaker 1: you know. So I like to and there's no set 99 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,279 Speaker 1: way to present, of course, just like there's no best 100 00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:02,719 Speaker 1: diet and there's no best workout. But for me, when 101 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 1: I tend to be at my best, it's when I 102 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 1: know who the group is, I know why I'm there, 103 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 1: I know what I'm talking about. But I'm not scripted. 104 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 1: I'm not scripted. There are no slides, there's no video. 105 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,799 Speaker 1: And that's not that slides and video are bad. Paul 106 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,799 Speaker 1: uses slides and video beautifully, but for me, it doesn't 107 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 1: work for me optimally. But having said that, and I 108 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,039 Speaker 1: know I'm talking too much, I'll shut up. I'm doing 109 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 1: a new workshop on Sunday at Deacon called Understanding You Right, 110 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:35,960 Speaker 1: And I've tried. 111 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 3: Very hard to bring at least half of the content 112 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:45,479 Speaker 3: new content, because you know, my audience know me, Well, 113 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 3: there's nearly two thousand fucking episodes and a million whiteboard whatevers, 114 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 3: and so I don't want to rock up and say 115 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 3: what I always say. 116 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:57,600 Speaker 1: So I've been I've literally been doing for me an 117 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:01,919 Speaker 1: extraordinary amount of prep. And then I rang Melissa this morning, 118 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: who's the boss of me everyone, and said, you're not 119 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 1: going to believe this, but I think I'm going to 120 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 1: need a couple of slides because there's just a couple 121 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,719 Speaker 1: of concepts I need to unpack, which I really need 122 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:17,279 Speaker 1: people to see things as well. And I can't just 123 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:22,680 Speaker 1: do it organically on the fly because I've created this 124 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 1: process I want people to I want to walk them 125 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 1: through this process of opening the door on understanding the 126 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 1: self right, and there's eight levels, and I thought I 127 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:38,359 Speaker 1: probably need a visual representation of that so I could 128 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 1: be evolving, Carly, I know that's the word. 129 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 2: I was thinking, You're evolving, and that's good. That's good. Change, 130 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 2: Change is good. 131 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,719 Speaker 1: Ah. Do you have any kind of even if you 132 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:52,280 Speaker 1: do something like this, or if you're doing a speaking 133 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,279 Speaker 1: thing or an educational thing, do you have any rituals 134 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: or any particular prep that is kind of a non negotiable. 135 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 2: You mean on the day, Yeah, like. 136 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 1: It, Like before this, do you just do your shit 137 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,480 Speaker 1: and go, oh it's ten to one, I better get 138 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 1: ready for Craig Or do you have a little kind 139 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 1: of process. 140 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,280 Speaker 2: I really hope that I am going to evolve to that, 141 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 2: but I'm not there yet. So my process is to 142 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,600 Speaker 2: is to do a bit of exercise. So I had 143 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,679 Speaker 2: I went into the land room. I've got these club bells, 144 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 2: you know, the club bells, yep, And so I do 145 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,480 Speaker 2: a little flow routine with those and just to get 146 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 2: my heart rate up, just burn off a little bit 147 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 2: of the stressholmemand that. I don't want to burn all 148 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 2: of them off, but yeah, so I'll do that. But 149 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:45,720 Speaker 2: I like your I like the way you you know, 150 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 2: if you do have a bit of time before you 151 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 2: present that you use a bit of distraction. Like if 152 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 2: if we're going to talk about attention, which we're probably 153 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 2: going to talk about today, is you're taking your attention 154 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 2: off the what's going to happen in twenty minutes and 155 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,920 Speaker 2: just going, Okay, I'm going to put my attention onto 156 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 2: what I can do right now, and for you, like 157 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 2: you know, posting on social media or whatever. 158 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: Yes, which is well, I always think like attention is energy, right, yes, 159 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 1: Like whatever I invest my attention on, my focus, on 160 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: my mind in well, that's that I'm deciding where I'm 161 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 1: spending my my psychological, cognitive and emotional energy, you know, 162 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: because I'm I'm now thinking about that thing that that 163 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: bloke did yesterday morning, that fucking inconsiderate bloke, and what 164 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: I should have done and what I could have said, 165 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: and what I might do next time if the same thing, 166 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: if I bump into and then twenty minutes has gone 167 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 1: and I've done no work. All I've done is fucking 168 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: you know, activated my sympathetic nervous system to my own detriment. 169 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: I'm now a bit stressed and anxious, my blood pressures up, 170 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:59,040 Speaker 1: and I've been completely fucking unproductive, and it's all my fault. 171 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 2: Out and it's and it's the thing is it's normal 172 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 2: for us to think back on the past and go, 173 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,200 Speaker 2: you know, I should have done that, and but it's 174 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 2: it's actually being aware that you're doing it and then 175 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:16,280 Speaker 2: taking control over where your attention is and going, well, actually, 176 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 2: this thought is not helpful to me right now, So 177 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 2: what I it might be there and it might chatter 178 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 2: in the background, but you want to just turn it 179 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,880 Speaker 2: down a bit by using your attention to what is 180 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:31,679 Speaker 2: important right here, right now. Yeah, what you have is now, 181 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:35,120 Speaker 2: isn't it. It's you just have these moments. But our 182 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,960 Speaker 2: minds go often to the past and into the future, 183 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 2: and it takes us away from what's happening right now. 184 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:44,319 Speaker 1: I created this little model, which this is not giving 185 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:48,160 Speaker 1: anything away, but the first two steps of self reflection 186 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,080 Speaker 1: and self awareness right the thing I'm going to unpack 187 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 1: on the weekend, and it is just that that thing 188 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 1: of like like we're going to talk about attention and 189 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:02,400 Speaker 1: burnout and busyness, good busyness, bad business. But I think 190 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,880 Speaker 1: that like one of the things I want to talk 191 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:09,960 Speaker 1: about this weekend. If you're not come along, anybody, come along. 192 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 1: It's a deacon. It's nine thirty Sunday. Go to my website. 193 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 1: But I want to talk about See what I did there, Culli, 194 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,400 Speaker 1: but I want to talk about it just fucking just 195 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 1: like an advertising fucking ninja just in between sentences. It's 196 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:26,520 Speaker 1: almost subliminal. 197 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 2: Made me want to go, I'm like, what am I 198 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 2: doing Sunday morning? 199 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:34,199 Speaker 1: Nin I'm thirty, Wow, you can you can come and 200 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,680 Speaker 1: bring a friend for free. So not that you need 201 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 1: to hear me, but if you are really bored, then 202 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:45,080 Speaker 1: feel free. But I was thinking about how much we 203 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:51,080 Speaker 1: live on this kind of auto pilot, or in this 204 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:55,960 Speaker 1: auto pilot of unconsciousness, where we keep doing things that 205 00:10:56,040 --> 00:11:00,559 Speaker 1: clearly don't work, but nonetheless don't stop them, right because 206 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: it's easy to be, you know, to get up and 207 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 1: kind of do what you did yesterday, same kind of communication, conversation, 208 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,160 Speaker 1: same breakfast, lunch, dinner or version of it. Even going 209 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 1: to the gym. Like me as an exercise scientist, I 210 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,960 Speaker 1: love watching people at the gym who basically do the 211 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: same fucking workout for ten years in a row and 212 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,679 Speaker 1: then go, I don't know, you know, I'm here all 213 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 1: the time, I train hard. Nothing changes. Well, no shit, Sherlock, 214 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 1: because your body doesn't need to adapt because you don't 215 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:33,200 Speaker 1: give it a reason. It's like opening the door on 216 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:38,120 Speaker 1: self awareness and consciousness. It's kind of one of our 217 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,479 Speaker 1: ongoing challenges. 218 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, especially in the digital wage as well. Yes, because 219 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 2: we can get so trapped into that passive consumerism, can't 220 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:53,719 Speaker 2: we where any space that we have our attention can 221 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 2: be stolen from social media, from emails, from the news, 222 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:02,280 Speaker 2: and the thing is, it's all designed to capture our attention. 223 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 2: If you if you write, if you google expert in attention, 224 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 2: it's not going to come up with, you know, Buddha, 225 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 2: it's going to come up with an agency that that 226 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 2: works on social media. And so that's what it is. 227 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 2: And so I think we are, Yeah, we are living 228 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:25,760 Speaker 2: unconsciously because we're not taking control over what we're putting 229 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 2: our energy into. 230 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,920 Speaker 1: And I think, yeah, I love that, and even the 231 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 1: idea of conscious you know, it's like social media is 232 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 1: not going away. Podcasts are not going away. I'm not 233 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,480 Speaker 1: not in the near future anyway, you know, online everything 234 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:42,640 Speaker 1: is not. So I think it's about even even in 235 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:48,679 Speaker 1: that space of listening to something, I give things five minutes, 236 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:51,600 Speaker 1: give or take, and in that five minutes, I go, 237 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:55,480 Speaker 1: I'm either going to Sometimes I might go I need 238 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,800 Speaker 1: another couple of minutes because I'm not sure, but generally, 239 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 1: by five minutes, I'm like some time, that's one. But 240 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 1: I'm going to listen to this or not. Yesterday I 241 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 1: went for a walk and I was listening to Lex Friedman. 242 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 1: Do you know who he is? No, Lex Friedman is 243 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:17,560 Speaker 1: an engineer PhD mit Genius got one of the biggest 244 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 1: podcasts in the world. Is this Ukrainian slash Russian. I 245 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,880 Speaker 1: think he was born in the Ukraine, grew up in Russia, 246 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: lives in the States. Anyway, really smart guy. Polarizes people 247 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 1: a bit. But anyway, he had Donald Trump on his podcast, 248 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:36,320 Speaker 1: right I'm like, ah, okay, sure, And I listened to 249 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 1: Lex kind of periodically, and I went, fuck, well, I'm 250 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,560 Speaker 1: just curious to what this is going to be. And 251 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 1: I thought, it doesn't matter, I'm going to listen to 252 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 1: all of this because even though I have quite strong 253 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:53,319 Speaker 1: opinions and I just want to listen. And I was 254 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 1: walking and I was about I left time. I was 255 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 1: probably about a seven or eight or nine minutes in. 256 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:01,640 Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't. I can't do this for an hour. 257 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 1: It's going to fucking make me dumber. It's like, I 258 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:10,080 Speaker 1: just I can't. Ah. And I don't hate Trump, and 259 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,680 Speaker 1: I'm not a Trump fan either, but I just like, 260 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, this is not a conversation. And some people 261 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 1: would love it, which is fine, but just for me, 262 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 1: I'm very careful about what I what I allow my 263 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 1: brain and my mind to consume. Just like I am 264 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 1: with what I allow my body to consume. And I 265 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 1: don't think people understand that, you know, our cognitive diet 266 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 1: has an impact. 267 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, definitely, But I think a lot of people 268 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 2: are putting their focus like when you look at say 269 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 2: something like TikTok or you know, or Instagram, and there's 270 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:56,280 Speaker 2: a lot of just scrolling, so just looking at other 271 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:59,240 Speaker 2: people's lives and kind of looking at what they're doing. 272 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:02,040 Speaker 2: And of course, you know, my kids do this all 273 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 2: the time. I'm just like, oh, even, you've got something 274 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:08,440 Speaker 2: better to do. But that's that that sort of constant 275 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:13,040 Speaker 2: scrolling and constant draw to social media to look at 276 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 2: other people's lives is taking us away from actively participating 277 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 2: in our own life. 278 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:24,880 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, and it's really easy to I do it too, 279 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 1: because my you know, the algorithm knows that if you 280 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 1: bring up a review on a motorbike or some fucking 281 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:35,160 Speaker 1: Jack Doude deadlifting two thousand pounds, I'm going to watch it, 282 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 1: you know. So it's just it's so clever. Oh my god, 283 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,000 Speaker 1: it's just like a little dopamine machine in my hand. 284 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,440 Speaker 1: I just keep hitting the fucking button, you know. 285 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,960 Speaker 2: And it's it's even just having the mobile phone there, 286 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 2: like I find that if it's on the bench, and 287 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:56,120 Speaker 2: I'm very aware of you know, how much time I 288 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 2: spend on my phone, But before I know it, I'm 289 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,160 Speaker 2: like reaching for it. And if I don't consciously go, 290 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 2: is this actually what I want to be doing right now, 291 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 2: I'll just get get sucked into it. It's so easy, 292 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:12,360 Speaker 2: and that's why there is we need to take control 293 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 2: of where we're putting our energy and our attention, and 294 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,400 Speaker 2: that starts with awareness. 295 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:21,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And it's so easy to like in a 296 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 1: time as well, where so many people are anxious, so 297 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 1: many people are burned out, so many people got kind 298 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:32,200 Speaker 1: of quarters all overload or you know, like and so 299 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: many people are so distracted and also so fucking sad 300 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 1: and miserable, like you know, and without trying to sound judgy, 301 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:45,040 Speaker 1: I just like I want to say to people, I 302 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 1: get it, like I care and you have my empathy, 303 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,840 Speaker 1: and but what are we going to do though? Yes, like, yep, 304 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,680 Speaker 1: I'm going to support you. I'll give you a hug 305 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 1: if I can tell you I understand, and yes, yep, yep, yep. However, 306 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:04,480 Speaker 1: what are we doing though, let's fix this? Simply's good 307 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 1: cares good, loves good, compassions good good. But we also 308 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,280 Speaker 1: need to be strategic because your life ain't going to 309 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,960 Speaker 1: end up magically fucking amazing in a year. So here 310 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 1: we are, and you've got this awareness that what you're 311 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:17,560 Speaker 1: doing isn't working. 312 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:23,400 Speaker 2: So what's the plan? Yeah, what's the action. It's like, Okay, 313 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,359 Speaker 2: this is your situation. What are you going to do? 314 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 2: What's your next step? And it's that that burnout situation, 315 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,920 Speaker 2: Like we are the number one burnout country in the world. 316 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,360 Speaker 2: And burnout is different to stress. It's like it starts 317 00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:41,440 Speaker 2: with stress and then it leads to burnout. So what's 318 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:46,359 Speaker 2: happening in that stress space, It's is people are not 319 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,840 Speaker 2: able to manage that stress or they're not reaching out 320 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,199 Speaker 2: to get help or whatever they need to do, and 321 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,200 Speaker 2: then it's then it's moving into burnout. And there seems 322 00:17:56,240 --> 00:18:01,520 Speaker 2: to be this culture in Australia of people being workaholics. 323 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:06,399 Speaker 2: Like I used to I worked at Sony Music in 324 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:10,360 Speaker 2: the nineties and there was a culture there of working 325 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:15,919 Speaker 2: long hours and so you wouldn't leave before seven and 326 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,720 Speaker 2: if you did, you felt guilty and you felt like 327 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,399 Speaker 2: you're being judged, and you might leave you job so 328 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 2: it was a bit of fear there. But the difference 329 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 2: is now is that I could leave the office at 330 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,879 Speaker 2: seven or seven thirty and no one could contact me 331 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:33,119 Speaker 2: because back then we couldn't be contacted. But now what 332 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 2: I'm finding and from my experience, I haven't got the 333 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,760 Speaker 2: data on this, but from my clients, a lot of 334 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 2: this is in the financial sector, is that there is 335 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:49,159 Speaker 2: this culture of you work hard, you are available what 336 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,919 Speaker 2: seems like twenty four to seven, You get home, you 337 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,639 Speaker 2: might spend a bit of time with the family, and 338 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:58,800 Speaker 2: then you're back online. Yes, and that is that is 339 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:06,560 Speaker 2: this constant, constant state of being switched on and no recovery. 340 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:11,840 Speaker 2: And that's where I talked to my clients about treating 341 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:16,240 Speaker 2: themselves like their athletes, because you don't have an athlete 342 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,639 Speaker 2: that goes jews a really hard date the track today 343 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,399 Speaker 2: and I'm feeling exhausted, I might crack open a bottle 344 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:23,040 Speaker 2: of wine. 345 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 3: You know. 346 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:28,119 Speaker 2: They want to recover, yes, so they prioritize their sleep, 347 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:33,960 Speaker 2: they prioritize their nutrition and their hydration and you know, 348 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:39,080 Speaker 2: and their mindset stuff. So treating ourselves and looking at 349 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 2: how are we racow am I recovering is just so 350 00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:49,000 Speaker 2: important because that recovery can be really effective, active, mindful recovery, 351 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:53,880 Speaker 2: or it can be mindless and numbing recovery. And it's 352 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,480 Speaker 2: knowing the difference between the two. 353 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be blatant plugging that plugs to today. 354 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,560 Speaker 1: But I was just doing a little post that I'm 355 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,879 Speaker 1: going to put up tonight. I'm doing a workshop next Tuesday, 356 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 1: and this ties in and it's just called love your Body, right, 357 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,159 Speaker 1: that's the workshop. It's online. It's called love your Body, 358 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,520 Speaker 1: And so it's got this kind of image love your body, 359 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,040 Speaker 1: and underneath in brackets it's got you can't get a 360 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 1: new one, right, and same you know, with our mental health, 361 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:29,800 Speaker 1: our emotional health, our physical health, sometimes we wait till 362 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 1: shit breaks. You know. We're kind of reactive, not proactive, 363 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:37,399 Speaker 1: all the while knowing I'm not good and this is 364 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:44,679 Speaker 1: not good. You know, we really need like you know, 365 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:48,159 Speaker 1: like you think about how much focus and attention we 366 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:52,720 Speaker 1: give to I might sound judging judged to today. I 367 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,240 Speaker 1: don't mean to, but because I've done it too, right, 368 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:59,040 Speaker 1: So I'm putting up just time, energy, attention to shit 369 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:03,119 Speaker 1: that really doesn't really matter that much, you know, But 370 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,720 Speaker 1: what really matters is that my brain works, and my 371 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,199 Speaker 1: mind works, and my emotions are not totally in the 372 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,639 Speaker 1: gata all the time or most of the time, and 373 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:13,480 Speaker 1: that my body and my lungs and my heart and 374 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,840 Speaker 1: my muscles and my movement and my posture. You know, 375 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,880 Speaker 1: it's life isn't about that. But if you're physically, mental 376 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 1: and emotionally, I'm well, well the fuck the rest doesn't 377 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:23,480 Speaker 1: matter that much. 378 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:27,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And I think if you're I think it 379 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:32,200 Speaker 2: goes back to that, Okay, I'm struggling. It's that question 380 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,000 Speaker 2: of what am I going to do? And that's why 381 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 2: I know everyone knows about mental health. We talk a 382 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,840 Speaker 2: lot about mental health, and we talk about self care, 383 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:45,560 Speaker 2: but I prefer to talk about mental fitness because mental fitness, 384 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:49,280 Speaker 2: like physical fitness, it's something that you have to work 385 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 2: on and you have to work on it every single day. 386 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 2: And we're training our brains to be able to not 387 00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:01,919 Speaker 2: only just cope, but to be able to thrive or 388 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:07,000 Speaker 2: to be able to keep going even when times are challenging. 389 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 2: And I think mental fitness to me implies action, whereas 390 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,680 Speaker 2: mental health and self care is just a little bit. 391 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,560 Speaker 2: And I know we do have to look after our 392 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:23,960 Speaker 2: mental health. But that needs to encompass not just our minds, 393 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:29,440 Speaker 2: but our nutrition, our fitness, our sleep, our connection, and 394 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:34,480 Speaker 2: all those things that make up a healthy, effective human. 395 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:38,240 Speaker 1: For me, the analogy is it's like, oh, don't pick 396 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,600 Speaker 1: up those boxes. You might hurt your back. You know, 397 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,359 Speaker 1: you've got to look after your back. But a self 398 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:46,720 Speaker 1: care for your back, I might or or I could 399 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:50,440 Speaker 1: pick up some light boxes, and then I could eventually 400 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:54,480 Speaker 1: pick up some medium boxes, not too many boxes, and 401 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:58,720 Speaker 1: then eventually some fucking heavy boxes, and then I don't 402 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:02,080 Speaker 1: have to avoid the boxes. Now I'm strong, and if 403 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:05,960 Speaker 1: life puts some boxes on my path, I don't have 404 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,320 Speaker 1: to get someone else to come and cheer me on 405 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,480 Speaker 1: or lift the boxes. I can lift the fucking boxes. 406 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,159 Speaker 1: You know why, because I got strong. 407 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:15,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 408 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 1: So there's this there's this space in between self care 409 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:25,359 Speaker 1: but also self empowerment, you know where Yeah, And I 410 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,399 Speaker 1: know what you're saying. I think you know is that 411 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,800 Speaker 1: we need to love, care, support, But there's got to 412 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:32,560 Speaker 1: be you know, like the world doesn't give a fuck 413 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 1: about your feelings or your emotions, or your outcomes or 414 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,280 Speaker 1: your sore back. So and the only person who can 415 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:42,439 Speaker 1: write your story is you. So you know it's like, 416 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,760 Speaker 1: come on, oh, cheer you on. I'll support you, I'll 417 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,680 Speaker 1: love you, but I can't go for a run for you. 418 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,320 Speaker 1: I can't have a good attitude for you, I can't 419 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:54,679 Speaker 1: make hard decisions for you, and I can't be resilient 420 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,159 Speaker 1: for you. So while I will care and support you, 421 00:23:58,280 --> 00:23:59,719 Speaker 1: still need to do some work. 422 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:06,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The stoics. The stoics have got this 423 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:12,120 Speaker 2: the art of acquiescence, and that is isn't it sound 424 00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 2: that that's such a. 425 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:16,160 Speaker 1: Cool word, that's fancy for us. 426 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:22,200 Speaker 2: The heart of acquiescence is to really surrender and accept 427 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:26,920 Speaker 2: the things that we cannot change, right and so so, 428 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,840 Speaker 2: and by accepting that, we can then move our attention 429 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:33,960 Speaker 2: to the things that we can change. And so it's 430 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:37,400 Speaker 2: those it's that epicteators who talked about the zones of control. 431 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,880 Speaker 2: So we said, our lives are into zone. Zone one 432 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:43,080 Speaker 2: are all the things we can control, and zone two. 433 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,640 Speaker 2: Zone two are all the things that we can't control. 434 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,640 Speaker 2: And so often we're putting our focus on zone two 435 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,199 Speaker 2: and that's where we struggle because that's they are the 436 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:56,680 Speaker 2: things we cannot control, and often the wish for things 437 00:24:56,720 --> 00:25:01,760 Speaker 2: to be different than they are is. It's a contradiction 438 00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:07,280 Speaker 2: of to what is reality? So being aware of that 439 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,120 Speaker 2: and then turning out, okay, what can I do in 440 00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:13,920 Speaker 2: this situation? So if I get home from seven o'clock 441 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,400 Speaker 2: at seven o'clock at night, and I have had such 442 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 2: a stressful day and my mind is just like going 443 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,840 Speaker 2: with all the things that happen today and all the 444 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 2: things I've got to do tomorrow. Okay, you can accept 445 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,960 Speaker 2: that you can't change that. You can't change what's just happened, 446 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,720 Speaker 2: and you can't change what's happening tomorrow, but you can 447 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:36,439 Speaker 2: focus on right here, right now, and what's important. What 448 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,320 Speaker 2: is my purpose? If we talk about purpose, it doesn't 449 00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,080 Speaker 2: have to be this big, grandiose purpose that's sort of 450 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:45,320 Speaker 2: out of touch. It's the purpose in this moment. And 451 00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:48,760 Speaker 2: maybe that is to be to put your parent hat 452 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,760 Speaker 2: on your mom hat or your dad hat and be 453 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 2: focused on your kids through a period of time. Well 454 00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:57,240 Speaker 2: maybe you just maybe you just got to cook dinner, 455 00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:59,080 Speaker 2: or maybe you just got to clean up the kitchen. 456 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:04,080 Speaker 2: It's focusing on that, knowing that all the other things 457 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,160 Speaker 2: beyond my control. 458 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,399 Speaker 1: And I think the question we can ask is in 459 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:10,879 Speaker 1: terms of what I want to get done, need to 460 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,199 Speaker 1: get done. You know, I ask myself a form of 461 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,000 Speaker 1: this every morning. I go in terms of what I 462 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:19,160 Speaker 1: want to do be create and change today. You can 463 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:20,720 Speaker 1: write this down if you want, folks, In terms of 464 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:22,679 Speaker 1: what I want to do, be create and change today, 465 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 1: what's the best investment of my energy? 466 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:29,760 Speaker 2: Oh? You know love that love it? Yeah, that's intentional living, 467 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,320 Speaker 2: that is Yeah. 468 00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:34,919 Speaker 1: Well, it's like it brings my focus to where because 469 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,399 Speaker 1: I you know, I'm like a dog with three dicks. 470 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,920 Speaker 1: I've got the attention span of a fucking fat kid 471 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,320 Speaker 1: in a cake shop shop because I used to be 472 00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:44,639 Speaker 1: a fat kid in a cake shop. So, you know, 473 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:49,320 Speaker 1: but I really need to keep raining my mind back 474 00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:53,880 Speaker 1: in because my mind is busy and sometimes busy good 475 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:58,400 Speaker 1: and sometimes busy bad. But it's fucking busy. So if 476 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:03,200 Speaker 1: I don't have some you know, some guardrails, some metaphoric guardrails, 477 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:06,919 Speaker 1: like for the bowling ball, the mind that is the 478 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,959 Speaker 1: bowling ball that is my mind will not stay in 479 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:10,800 Speaker 1: the fucking lane. 480 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:11,360 Speaker 3: Yeah. 481 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 1: So I go in terms of what I want to do, 482 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,800 Speaker 1: be creating change today. What you know, where does my 483 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,000 Speaker 1: energy or my attention or my focus need to be. 484 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,960 Speaker 1: And then I jot down. Then I kind of do 485 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 1: my you know, my to do list, but my priority list, 486 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 1: you know, because I go, well, this needs to have 487 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:32,359 Speaker 1: sixty percent of my attention today, Like today, sixty percent 488 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,040 Speaker 1: of my attention is on my Sunday workshop and we're 489 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:39,399 Speaker 1: recording this Thursday afternoon, and so I do other things. 490 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,679 Speaker 1: But I've got two documents open. I've got a massive 491 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,679 Speaker 1: screen here, you're on your on one screen in the middle, 492 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,879 Speaker 1: and then right right to either side of you, I've 493 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,399 Speaker 1: got two a four documents, which is my workshop. And 494 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,680 Speaker 1: I just keep you know, I work for a bit, 495 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,120 Speaker 1: then I'll go have a cup of tea. Then while 496 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:55,960 Speaker 1: I'm having a couple of hours, fuck yeah, then I'll 497 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 1: come up. I'll jop down for twenty minutes, and I 498 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:00,520 Speaker 1: keep coming back, and by the end end of today, 499 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:05,040 Speaker 1: I'll probably have six or seven hours of energy and 500 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:10,640 Speaker 1: effort and productivity gone into my workshop that came out 501 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:13,919 Speaker 1: out of this morning six thirty kind of you know, 502 00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:15,640 Speaker 1: rumination about the day. 503 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:20,440 Speaker 2: Do you when you're ruminating about the day, I would say, 504 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:24,639 Speaker 2: planning your day? Yeah, are you writing it down on 505 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:25,280 Speaker 2: your whiteboard? 506 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,119 Speaker 1: Yeah? I write stuff in my I write stuff in 507 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:32,600 Speaker 1: my phone and periodically take my laptop. But I am 508 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:37,919 Speaker 1: between about six ish and eight ish. Yeah, my mind's great, 509 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 1: and I just mean for me great. Yeah, so fucking excited, 510 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:47,320 Speaker 1: so curious, so fresh, so many ideas. I also have. 511 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,120 Speaker 1: You know, you can't see them because I've got a backdrop. 512 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:53,200 Speaker 1: But over my left shoulder, I have a big whiteboard, 513 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:56,440 Speaker 1: right shoulder, big whiteboard. In my bedroom, I have a 514 00:28:56,480 --> 00:29:01,720 Speaker 1: gigantic whiteboard, which is very sexy, I might add, doubt 515 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,520 Speaker 1: so like a seven foot whiteboard. In my kitchen, I've 516 00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,080 Speaker 1: got a seven foot whiteboard, and in my recording studio, 517 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,640 Speaker 1: I've got an eight foot whiteboard, and I'm constantly and 518 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 1: I've got whiteboard markers all over the house, so I'm 519 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:17,640 Speaker 1: constantly stopping at a whiteboard writing an idea down. And 520 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,200 Speaker 1: people come into my joint and go, this is fucking weird. 521 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:22,640 Speaker 1: I go, I know, and then I take them because 522 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,880 Speaker 1: obviously I don't take people into my bedroom. And I go, well, 523 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,680 Speaker 1: here's the weirdest one, and they go into my bedroom. 524 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,200 Speaker 1: The whole wall is a whiteboard with ideas and quotes 525 00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:37,440 Speaker 1: and fucking you know, like thoughts, questions. But it's just 526 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:42,240 Speaker 1: I feel like the wacky scientist who's got experiments going 527 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,760 Speaker 1: on everywhere. And if I don't get it out of 528 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,440 Speaker 1: my head and onto a screen or a whiteboard or 529 00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:49,960 Speaker 1: a bit of paper, I might lose it. So I'm 530 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,240 Speaker 1: really I'm really careful about that. 531 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:56,000 Speaker 2: I love that. And I'm the same. You can't hear 532 00:29:56,040 --> 00:30:00,840 Speaker 2: my dog barking hand no, no, heismans bloody dog. 533 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,680 Speaker 1: We love dogs. You we're a dog. We're a dog 534 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:07,200 Speaker 1: friendly postter post. Yeah. 535 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:11,360 Speaker 2: So I'm the same. So it's that morning, and this 536 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:14,520 Speaker 2: is what I want to encourage everybody to do, especially 537 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:18,920 Speaker 2: if you are crazy busy at work, is find some 538 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,920 Speaker 2: space in the morning where there are no inputs, like 539 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,720 Speaker 2: don't even don't touch your phone, don't look at your email. 540 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,360 Speaker 2: Just find that time to have some space just to 541 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,120 Speaker 2: be creative, just to even sit and think, like just 542 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,760 Speaker 2: spend time with the dog. And because it is such 543 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:40,200 Speaker 2: an opportunity to to be able to have a bit 544 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:44,200 Speaker 2: of freedom, just to be you and not have all 545 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,680 Speaker 2: these distractions coming in. And I'm the same. So Paul 546 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:51,040 Speaker 2: for my birthday bought me this. It's like a digital 547 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,560 Speaker 2: notebook called Remarkable. Have you heard of them? 548 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:54,320 Speaker 3: Yeah? 549 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:55,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, so, and. 550 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:58,120 Speaker 1: I love it. I've TI got one. Tiff writes notes 551 00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:01,080 Speaker 1: when we're doing a show, and then she sends me 552 00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:06,480 Speaker 1: a screenshot of the notes. So yeah, yeah, yeah, I. 553 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,440 Speaker 2: Love it because I'm the same. I don't have the 554 00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:11,959 Speaker 2: whiteboard scattered everywhere, but I was having notebooks like I 555 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,720 Speaker 2: just have. I've got shelves full of notebooks where I'm 556 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:17,840 Speaker 2: just like scribbling stuff and then I kind of forget 557 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:20,080 Speaker 2: where things are and I might not go back and 558 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,240 Speaker 2: read it, but I find the remarkable is good now 559 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:24,440 Speaker 2: because I've got it with me. And in the morning, 560 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,520 Speaker 2: I will get up, I will make a cup of coffee, 561 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:29,640 Speaker 2: which I know maybe I shouldn't be doing, because that's 562 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,080 Speaker 2: like a stimulant that I enjoy it. It's like that 563 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 2: is part of what I will call my iggy guy. 564 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:36,800 Speaker 2: It's my little joy that I have in the morning, 565 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:39,440 Speaker 2: and I will sit there before anybody has got up, 566 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:43,680 Speaker 2: and I just ideas will just come and I'll just 567 00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:47,280 Speaker 2: start writing and it excites me. It's really it's such 568 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,360 Speaker 2: a good way to start the day. If you start 569 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:54,840 Speaker 2: the day like a lot of people have their mobile 570 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,880 Speaker 2: phones by their beds, and yeah they've got them on 571 00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:00,240 Speaker 2: aeroplane mode, but you wake up and the first you 572 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:04,680 Speaker 2: seeze your mobile phone, there is that temptation there to go, oh, 573 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,160 Speaker 2: just check the newser I'll just check, you know, my 574 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:11,120 Speaker 2: Instagram post. It's it's immediate input before you've even put 575 00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,760 Speaker 2: your feet on the ground. So I would encourage the 576 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,840 Speaker 2: fine out of the bedroom and you get yourself just 577 00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:20,320 Speaker 2: an alarm clock. I've just got a normal alarm clock, 578 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:24,719 Speaker 2: and so you're not tempted with that, and you can 579 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:28,440 Speaker 2: ease into the morning and give your brain a bit 580 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:33,680 Speaker 2: of a break all outside stuff coming in. And if 581 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:37,840 Speaker 2: it's a nice day, go outside and just breathe the 582 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:41,120 Speaker 2: air and feel the feel the know the breeze on 583 00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:46,000 Speaker 2: your skin, and smell only aroamas and just just be 584 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:48,040 Speaker 2: a bit in nature as well, even if it's just 585 00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 2: in your backyard. 586 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:54,240 Speaker 1: And I think, like, which is following on from what 587 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:58,720 Speaker 1: you're saying, is that different things work for different people, right, 588 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:03,160 Speaker 1: So some people like for me getting up, getting on 589 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 1: one of my motorbikes, riding to the cafe, having a coffee. 590 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,280 Speaker 1: You know, it's like this little ritual that works on 591 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,560 Speaker 1: a range of levels for me. But for someone else 592 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 1: that would be the worst protocol. But for me it's great. 593 00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:22,080 Speaker 1: And like me breakfast and then dinner. Great. That works 594 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,400 Speaker 1: for me, That keeps me lean, I'm not starving through 595 00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:30,480 Speaker 1: the day. Great. You know me lifting weights in the afternoon. Great. 596 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:34,160 Speaker 1: If I want to do cardio mornings better, right, you know. 597 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:38,320 Speaker 1: And so in this whole kind of what we could 598 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:43,920 Speaker 1: in general terms called process of self management. You know, 599 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,120 Speaker 1: we get to figure out because we're always getting data, 600 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,600 Speaker 1: you know, we get to figure out how our mind 601 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,680 Speaker 1: or our brain, our our body best operates under what conditions. 602 00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:56,800 Speaker 1: And then when we pay attention, we go, you know what, 603 00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:00,520 Speaker 1: my fucking I'm smarter in the morning. Cool, So do 604 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:05,760 Speaker 1: that cognitive stuff before midday if that's possible, or when 605 00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,919 Speaker 1: I'm when I do this, then I get grumpy. Cool, 606 00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:12,040 Speaker 1: let's not do that then, or let's figure out a 607 00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:14,759 Speaker 1: way to do it when you're less tired, or you know, 608 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:18,400 Speaker 1: when I eat this food, I always have intergestion, interject, well, 609 00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:20,600 Speaker 1: here's an idea, you know, and it's just I know 610 00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:25,440 Speaker 1: these are simple things. But the amount of us, including me, 611 00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:28,880 Speaker 1: at times, who we keep fucking doing what doesn't work, 612 00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:33,879 Speaker 1: and our body or our outcomes or our internal sat 613 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:37,640 Speaker 1: nab that internal wisdom is screaming at us and we're 614 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,040 Speaker 1: like fingers in the la la la la. You know 615 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,720 Speaker 1: it's it's that's the epitome of living unconsciously. 616 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, is that Aristotle know thyself, isn't it. 617 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,239 Speaker 1: That's the first thing in my thesis. Did you know that? 618 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:53,840 Speaker 2: I no, I didn't. 619 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,800 Speaker 1: Yeh, yeah. Yeah, Well that's one of the first things 620 00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:01,320 Speaker 1: because it's all about because my whole you know, project 621 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:05,040 Speaker 1: is about self awareness. Anyway, sorry I interrupted. 622 00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,680 Speaker 2: Well I was, I use I use journals for that 623 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:12,239 Speaker 2: to know myself, and I put down I write, I 624 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:16,080 Speaker 2: used my journals to write down data. So I will 625 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:19,279 Speaker 2: write down what exercise I've done, you know, if I 626 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:21,359 Speaker 2: go for a run or do the you know, how 627 00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:23,680 Speaker 2: long it went, how long it took me to go, 628 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:27,600 Speaker 2: what distance and and or and then I'll write down, 629 00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:30,319 Speaker 2: you know, my nutrition and so just the data. And 630 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:32,720 Speaker 2: then i'll you know, might write down how I felt 631 00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,360 Speaker 2: like I felt a bit tired today, and then I 632 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,640 Speaker 2: kind of work out why it's like, okay, well it's 633 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:39,399 Speaker 2: because I didn't have a good night's sleep last night, 634 00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:40,919 Speaker 2: or I had a glass of wine with a friend 635 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,640 Speaker 2: last night that's affected my sleep. And but then what 636 00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,719 Speaker 2: I can do is I can kind of look at 637 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:50,879 Speaker 2: my journal and see patterns and isn't that interesting. I'm 638 00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:55,440 Speaker 2: just repeating something that wasn't working for me, and I 639 00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:57,759 Speaker 2: can see in my journel I keep doing that, like 640 00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:02,000 Speaker 2: what is that about? And that's that's been amazing for 641 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:07,040 Speaker 2: me to have this, I guess, heightened awareness of my 642 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:12,279 Speaker 2: own behaviors and my automatic behaviors, so got my unconscious 643 00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:16,319 Speaker 2: conscious go tos, I guess. And then once you once 644 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,560 Speaker 2: you work out these default behaviors that are not working 645 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:24,080 Speaker 2: for you, then you can change them. But you have 646 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,040 Speaker 2: to know you first. 647 00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:30,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I love in that sense. Before tracking was a thing, 648 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:33,000 Speaker 1: they have trackers these they have trackers, you know, the 649 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:36,799 Speaker 1: young kids, electronic trackers. Back in my day, we had 650 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:42,399 Speaker 1: a fucking exercise book. But when Paul first started working 651 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:45,719 Speaker 1: with me up at Harper's on the Highway, even before that, 652 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:49,640 Speaker 1: we had what we then called food and training diaries. 653 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,000 Speaker 1: And this is quarter of a century ago. Can you 654 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:54,000 Speaker 1: believe that, Carlie fucker long ago? 655 00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:56,480 Speaker 2: Was that? And when did you meet Paul? Because my 656 00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,440 Speaker 2: daughter's eighteen and I'm sure when you met Paul, I 657 00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:01,320 Speaker 2: don't think she even born, so it must be no. 658 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:05,560 Speaker 1: Oh no, no, I met Paul, not like close to the 659 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:09,440 Speaker 1: turn of the century, like it's twenty twenty four, right, 660 00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:13,040 Speaker 1: it would have been very two thousands. But even back then, 661 00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,640 Speaker 1: twenty twenty five years ago, even thirty years ago, when 662 00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:19,120 Speaker 1: I was thirty, all of my clients had diaries, all 663 00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:22,200 Speaker 1: of them. All of them had training, food, exercise, lifestyle 664 00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:34,040 Speaker 1: diaries where sleep, food, micros, macros, energy levels, booze, supplements, medication, coffee, tea, 665 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:39,880 Speaker 1: anything that would have an impact on basically performance, health, wellness. 666 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:43,640 Speaker 1: Energy was tracked and people used to go to me, 667 00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,440 Speaker 1: why do you bother? And I go because it literally 668 00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:49,319 Speaker 1: teaches me what works for the individual. You know. So 669 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,440 Speaker 1: let's say I'm training you on a Monday morning and 670 00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,840 Speaker 1: I haven't seen you since Thursday morning, So then you 671 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,560 Speaker 1: rock up with Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. So that's ninety 672 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:02,680 Speaker 1: six hours of data and then you jump on the bike. 673 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,000 Speaker 1: I go, just do a warm up, Khli. I look 674 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:08,520 Speaker 1: at four pages of information, and then I talk to 675 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:10,799 Speaker 1: you about what's going on, and then you become more 676 00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,160 Speaker 1: aware and because you've got to track it and then 677 00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,839 Speaker 1: I'm going to read it. Now you're more accountable and 678 00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,600 Speaker 1: you're more likely to stay on track, and so there's 679 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:24,000 Speaker 1: a whole bunch of benefits. But people would make progress 680 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:27,160 Speaker 1: in six months that other people who didn't track anything 681 00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:30,480 Speaker 1: would not make in two years, because you're literally teaching 682 00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:35,200 Speaker 1: yourself about your own body physiology and responses, you know, 683 00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:38,279 Speaker 1: and what works. Oh guess what? When I sleep this much? 684 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,320 Speaker 1: My energy is a three, my moods are a one. 685 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:44,680 Speaker 1: I'm a prec to be around. Oh here's a good 686 00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:46,719 Speaker 1: correlation or here's a good realization. 687 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:53,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, ask go on, I can say I use that 688 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:58,080 Speaker 2: the emotion that for emotions as well. So I will write, 689 00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:00,640 Speaker 2: but what I will try and do is write it 690 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:04,600 Speaker 2: down without the emotions. So this isn't I'm not venting anything. 691 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:10,440 Speaker 2: I'm not putting down my emotions well as me. I'm going, okay, 692 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:15,040 Speaker 2: I felt this way today, and this is how I 693 00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,880 Speaker 2: responded to it. And then I'm able to kind of 694 00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:23,360 Speaker 2: then understand what my response is to these emotions or 695 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:27,600 Speaker 2: these negative thought patterns come up, So that I think 696 00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:31,360 Speaker 2: that's bringing that awareness too, and realizing that if you 697 00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:35,000 Speaker 2: and it's all that metacognition isn't it is noticing your 698 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:39,600 Speaker 2: thoughts and noticing the emotion and then creating that space 699 00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:43,160 Speaker 2: to be able to go okay, well, I get that 700 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,279 Speaker 2: that keeps showing up for me, but I don't need 701 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,360 Speaker 2: to get entangled up in that. I don't need to. 702 00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:50,480 Speaker 2: I don't need to allow it to dictate my behavior 703 00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:53,959 Speaker 2: and what I do. And I find that has been 704 00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,400 Speaker 2: hugely helpful for me. 705 00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:01,520 Speaker 1: I love that. I remember thinking, remember having this realization, 706 00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:04,799 Speaker 1: this is this is not going to be good for 707 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:08,760 Speaker 1: my brand, my already dodgy brand. But I remember having 708 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:14,040 Speaker 1: this realization, Ah, this is years ago, not that many. 709 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,240 Speaker 1: I wish it was more years ago, but well even still, 710 00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:19,120 Speaker 1: every now and then where I go, I'm in a 711 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:22,719 Speaker 1: conversation or a situation and I have this little, like 712 00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:27,600 Speaker 1: fucking voice on my shoulder that goes, ah, what's that about? 713 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:31,680 Speaker 1: And I realize I'm trying to impress someone, Like I 714 00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:33,719 Speaker 1: realize I'm just putting a bit of mayo on the 715 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:38,480 Speaker 1: story or maybe leaving a bit out, you know, and 716 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,400 Speaker 1: maybe just turning up the volume on the good bits. 717 00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:45,400 Speaker 1: And then I just I kind of in real time, 718 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:49,960 Speaker 1: I get amused at myself at like, you're sixty years old, 719 00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:54,719 Speaker 1: you're fucking insecure, You're trying to impress someone. The fuck 720 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:55,680 Speaker 1: is wrong? With you. 721 00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:58,920 Speaker 2: But the good news is real time. 722 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:03,480 Speaker 1: I do it, I literally do it. It's like this, 723 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,879 Speaker 1: this is true. This happened the other day. So there's 724 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:08,440 Speaker 1: this young guy that works at the cafe. He's got 725 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:12,080 Speaker 1: a motorbike. It's an a Prillia. It's beautiful, it's I 726 00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:16,080 Speaker 1: think it's a six sixty. He's young, and I arrived 727 00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,440 Speaker 1: at the cafe at the same time as him. I 728 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,560 Speaker 1: was on my scooter, which is worth about ten dollars. 729 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:27,680 Speaker 1: But I've got three beautiful, amazing, big, expensive, fast, powerful 730 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:31,680 Speaker 1: motorbikes at home. Right, he's on his Aprillia. I'm on 731 00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:36,360 Speaker 1: my scooter. It took me fucking every ounce of self 732 00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:41,319 Speaker 1: control not to tell him about my motorbikes. Right, He's 733 00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:44,520 Speaker 1: looking at my scooter and I'm like, oh god, he's 734 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:47,799 Speaker 1: judging me on my scooter. And I'm like, what is 735 00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:51,719 Speaker 1: wrong with you? And so I just started asking him 736 00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,400 Speaker 1: about his bike and told him and it is it's beautiful, 737 00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:56,440 Speaker 1: you know, it's amazing, and that, aren't it? And he 738 00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,560 Speaker 1: felt great because he had this awesome thing. And I 739 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:08,359 Speaker 1: have this bi shit. I fucking hate self awareness. It's 740 00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:08,759 Speaker 1: a pain. 741 00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:12,279 Speaker 2: Gosh. Well, it just shows you human doesn't it. 742 00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:16,200 Speaker 1: I'm very human. A couple of things before we wind up. 743 00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:21,560 Speaker 1: So we spoke before about it's almost like the busyness badge, 744 00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,280 Speaker 1: you know, the busy badge, Oh, how I'm busy? 745 00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:24,959 Speaker 2: Yeah? 746 00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:28,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, or the busy brag. It's like it's like being 747 00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,200 Speaker 1: busy is like a good thing. I'm going to brag 748 00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:34,440 Speaker 1: about how busy I am. What's your take on that? 749 00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:38,480 Speaker 1: What's your take on this kind of I don't know, 750 00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:42,520 Speaker 1: the pride that we take in being so busy or 751 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:46,399 Speaker 1: telling people that we're busy and wearing it like some 752 00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:50,480 Speaker 1: kind of social badge of honor or professional badge of honor. 753 00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:54,359 Speaker 1: Is that I a thought? But what do you think? 754 00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:55,480 Speaker 1: What do you think that's about? 755 00:42:56,239 --> 00:43:01,319 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a lot of people wrap there identity up 756 00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:06,160 Speaker 2: in this busyness and their work and kind of aspiring 757 00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:10,200 Speaker 2: to be successful. And I think I think there's a 758 00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:16,759 Speaker 2: lot of emphasis on individual success. We used to we 759 00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,400 Speaker 2: used to be more community minded, we used to be 760 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:23,280 Speaker 2: more part of the collective, but now it's this individualism 761 00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:30,840 Speaker 2: and maybe that's where people put this importance on being 762 00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:36,680 Speaker 2: busy to show that they're worthy. I think what the 763 00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:41,520 Speaker 2: danger is and this is something about traditional Japanese culture, 764 00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:46,160 Speaker 2: which I absolutely love, is that they take so much, 765 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:50,360 Speaker 2: They put so much focus and join attention into the 766 00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:55,239 Speaker 2: small things in life, the everyday thing, so you know, 767 00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:58,520 Speaker 2: whether it's nature or whether it's just doing whatever you're 768 00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:04,400 Speaker 2: doing well. And I think that is something that's overall 769 00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:09,000 Speaker 2: missing in our Western culture, is slowing down and enjoying 770 00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:15,080 Speaker 2: the moments that we have today and expanding our perspective 771 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:20,080 Speaker 2: of our lives to the amazing things that amazing things 772 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:25,200 Speaker 2: we are given from others, but also nature itself and 773 00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:32,520 Speaker 2: just going outside and just appreciating life. And that's something 774 00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:36,399 Speaker 2: that I'm started to practice, is to take a lot 775 00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:38,400 Speaker 2: of joy in the small things and do the small 776 00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:39,000 Speaker 2: things well. 777 00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,160 Speaker 1: You said before. I love that. I thought it was 778 00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:46,960 Speaker 1: about identity as well. So we're on the same page. 779 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:50,160 Speaker 1: You said before that stress is not burnout. I think 780 00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:52,239 Speaker 1: you said kind of this how I took it, that 781 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,879 Speaker 1: stress is like the pathway to burn out. Yeah, it's 782 00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:58,680 Speaker 1: like it's the conduit to burn out. So we know 783 00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:01,359 Speaker 1: what stress is. What is burnout then? 784 00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:01,600 Speaker 2: Like? 785 00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:03,960 Speaker 1: And I know this is I know people define it 786 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:08,520 Speaker 1: in different ways, but what's your explanation to us of 787 00:45:08,719 --> 00:45:10,560 Speaker 1: or your understanding of burnout. 788 00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:14,680 Speaker 2: My understanding of burnout is you get to a point 789 00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:17,799 Speaker 2: where there's a bit of apathy that you kind of 790 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:20,800 Speaker 2: there's a lack of interest in what you're doing, a 791 00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:26,839 Speaker 2: lack of focus and exhaustion. So that I think that's 792 00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:31,440 Speaker 2: my take on burnout. And it affects your ability to 793 00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:37,200 Speaker 2: function or function effectively, isn't it funny? 794 00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:40,200 Speaker 1: Yeah? I think it's. Yeah, I'm with you. I think 795 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,960 Speaker 1: it's also physical, mental, emotional. I think it's all of it, 796 00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:47,480 Speaker 1: and it's funny. How not lately I haven't had one 797 00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:49,160 Speaker 1: for a while, But I don't know about you, but 798 00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:56,080 Speaker 1: some days, not often maybe where are we now, September. 799 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:59,279 Speaker 1: I've had maybe five this year where some days I 800 00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:05,320 Speaker 1: just feel flat and it's not it's very unme. Maybe 801 00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:07,400 Speaker 1: four days this year, but every now and then and 802 00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:12,920 Speaker 1: I don't feel like, I feel sad and I feel flat, 803 00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:16,640 Speaker 1: and I feel like I don't think I've ever been like, 804 00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:20,160 Speaker 1: I've never been clinically depressed, but I'm not really like. 805 00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:24,799 Speaker 1: I'm generally all all the stuff, you know, curious, interested, cheeky. 806 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:27,279 Speaker 4: Annoying, all that, But every now and then I have 807 00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:30,480 Speaker 4: a day where I'm like, ah, fuck, I feel but 808 00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:34,239 Speaker 4: it gives me compassion for people because I'm like, this 809 00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:37,120 Speaker 4: is terrible. I don't know why I feel like this 810 00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:41,960 Speaker 4: today I can't identify the cause. And then the next 811 00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:45,279 Speaker 4: day I get up and I'm good, But what do 812 00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:46,240 Speaker 4: you reckon that's about? 813 00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:47,560 Speaker 1: Look? 814 00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:54,920 Speaker 2: I think I think that's it's it's normal. And I 815 00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:58,400 Speaker 2: think we we because we have problem solving minds, we 816 00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:00,680 Speaker 2: want to solve that problem and go, so, why am 817 00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:04,960 Speaker 2: I feeling sad? Now there might be whether you're feeling 818 00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:07,719 Speaker 2: sad or whether you have fear or anxiety, there might 819 00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:09,920 Speaker 2: be a message there, and so that's a good question 820 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:13,000 Speaker 2: to ask. It's like what and maybe rather why am 821 00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:14,040 Speaker 2: I feeling like this? 822 00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:14,200 Speaker 1: Is? 823 00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:16,520 Speaker 2: What is this telling me? What is my body telling me? 824 00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:19,279 Speaker 2: Because a lot of the time, like with anxiety, a 825 00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:21,200 Speaker 2: lot of the time it's telling you to do something 826 00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:26,120 Speaker 2: with sad as if you can't work out why you're 827 00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:29,279 Speaker 2: feeling sad, then I think that's when you just make 828 00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,960 Speaker 2: room for the sadness and stop putting your attention on 829 00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:36,000 Speaker 2: to trying and problem solve it and go, Okay, well, 830 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:39,080 Speaker 2: what's my baseline today? Because normally my baseline's going to 831 00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:40,480 Speaker 2: be a bit higher, And I can do this, this, 832 00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:42,759 Speaker 2: and this and this because I'm feeling great. If you've 833 00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:46,440 Speaker 2: got lack of energy and you're feeling sad, it's like, okay, 834 00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:50,960 Speaker 2: what's today's baseline, and you can always do something like 835 00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:54,719 Speaker 2: you It might be that you don't, you know, do 836 00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:57,319 Speaker 2: the workout as hard as you normally would, but you 837 00:47:57,360 --> 00:47:59,680 Speaker 2: can still go and do the workout and modify it 838 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,359 Speaker 2: to your energy levels. It might be that you go 839 00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:06,400 Speaker 2: and just clean out a draw, you know, just do 840 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:11,640 Speaker 2: something that there's always there is no point getting so 841 00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:15,040 Speaker 2: wrapped up in the sadness that it stops you from 842 00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:17,719 Speaker 2: doing things, because there's always something that you can do. 843 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:22,719 Speaker 2: And what happens, and this isn't the end goal here, 844 00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:26,400 Speaker 2: but what often happens is that once you start to 845 00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:30,160 Speaker 2: do that thing, then the sadness can dissipate. And I'll 846 00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:33,520 Speaker 2: give you example of this. My daughter Kira. She's doing 847 00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:38,759 Speaker 2: her year twelve. She's studying so hard, and she came 848 00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:42,000 Speaker 2: home the other day and she's very good at communicating it. 849 00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:44,359 Speaker 2: She said, I'm just feeling really flat, so I knew 850 00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:48,040 Speaker 2: she didn't want to talk to me, but she did 851 00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,920 Speaker 2: a good job. We've had this conversation before it's like, Okay, 852 00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:53,040 Speaker 2: there are going to be days where you are feeling flat, 853 00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:55,480 Speaker 2: that you're feeling tired. It's big year this year, so 854 00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,120 Speaker 2: let's find strategies of what you're going to do when 855 00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:00,640 Speaker 2: you feel like this. So to give her credit, she 856 00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:03,920 Speaker 2: wasn't that she wasn't sort of snapping at me and 857 00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:07,560 Speaker 2: being the normal teenager. But what she did do is 858 00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:10,359 Speaker 2: she took herself off to cross it, and she did 859 00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:14,400 Speaker 2: with her friend, and at the end of it, she 860 00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:18,319 Speaker 2: was a different person. So she could have chosen to 861 00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:20,719 Speaker 2: go into her bedroom and just lie on lie on 862 00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:24,400 Speaker 2: the bed and just be in the sadness, but she 863 00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:27,200 Speaker 2: chose to take the sadness with her. She went to 864 00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:29,160 Speaker 2: her exercise class, and then she felt great. 865 00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:33,239 Speaker 1: That is so fucking evolved. I want to be as 866 00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:37,319 Speaker 1: much as a grown up as Kira. But you know, 867 00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:40,800 Speaker 1: you also said something else interesting, and this is me 868 00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:43,520 Speaker 1: craigifying what you said. So if I get it wrong, 869 00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:47,960 Speaker 1: correct me. But I feel like, sometimes you know, if 870 00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:50,680 Speaker 1: we feel sad, or if like sometimes I feel like 871 00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:54,360 Speaker 1: an impostor, or sometimes there's some self doubt or like, 872 00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:56,160 Speaker 1: rather than trying to fix it or change it in 873 00:49:56,200 --> 00:50:00,800 Speaker 1: the moment, just coexist with it and go ah, okay, okay, 874 00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:03,239 Speaker 1: So you feel a bit anxious, that's all right, it'll go. 875 00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:06,400 Speaker 1: Lots of people get anxious, You'll be you'll be fine. 876 00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:08,640 Speaker 1: Or well, you feel a bit of self doubt or 877 00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:12,000 Speaker 1: you feel like an impostor that's understandable. That's okay, you know, 878 00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:15,160 Speaker 1: but that doesn't need to dictate what I do next. 879 00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:19,120 Speaker 1: Like that doesn't need to define my day, That's right, 880 00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:22,279 Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, I love that. 881 00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:23,680 Speaker 2: I think it's. 882 00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:24,239 Speaker 1: Part of that. 883 00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:27,960 Speaker 2: I think it's part of that acceptance. Acceptance too is 884 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:31,399 Speaker 2: that sometimes you can't have one thing without the other, 885 00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:33,719 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. It's it's it's like there's 886 00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:36,240 Speaker 2: always two sides to the coin. So if you really 887 00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:39,400 Speaker 2: care about something, the other side of the coin of 888 00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:44,600 Speaker 2: that is anxiety or like nothing that we do really 889 00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:47,640 Speaker 2: comes with all just the positive stuff, there's always a 890 00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:51,560 Speaker 2: bit of fear, anxiety or sadness, so that we have 891 00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:57,359 Speaker 2: to really understand that that's the balance of life. And 892 00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:00,319 Speaker 2: so that's where coexisting with this stuff, rather than trying 893 00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:05,000 Speaker 2: to struggle and fight it really helps. And that's uncomfortable 894 00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:07,680 Speaker 2: and it's hard, and it's a skill, and it's one 895 00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:11,200 Speaker 2: that I will. I am still working on, but I 896 00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:14,040 Speaker 2: think to have that awareness that as part of our 897 00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:19,120 Speaker 2: human as part of our humanness, we feel this landscape 898 00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:22,840 Speaker 2: of emotions and some of them are tough and really hard. 899 00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:26,040 Speaker 2: But if we keep putting our attention on them, that's 900 00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:29,160 Speaker 2: when they're going to get even more intense. Because, as 901 00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:32,640 Speaker 2: you said, attention is energy. So if we can just 902 00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:35,800 Speaker 2: allow them to be there, but put our energy into 903 00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:40,080 Speaker 2: other things that are important to us, then we can 904 00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:41,319 Speaker 2: have that balance there. 905 00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:47,400 Speaker 1: You're the best. That's why I get you back, Carli. 906 00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:49,880 Speaker 1: How can people connect with you? Find you, follow you 907 00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:53,480 Speaker 1: unless your services? 908 00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:58,879 Speaker 2: So Carlie Taylor, it's a mouthful Carlietaylor Coaching dot com 909 00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:02,120 Speaker 2: dot au. You can follow me on Instagram which is 910 00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:06,680 Speaker 2: Carlie Taylor Coaching, and I will also plug my Joe Mondays. 911 00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:11,200 Speaker 2: So every Monday I do just a bit of it. 912 00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:13,200 Speaker 2: It's really a bit of a coaching tip on the 913 00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:17,759 Speaker 2: Paul Tayler Podcast. It's just a five minute thing. So yeah, 914 00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:21,320 Speaker 2: I'm there every Monday. 915 00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:23,600 Speaker 1: Perfect Paul Taylor Podcast. Carli Tayler love chatting with you. 916 00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:27,840 Speaker 1: Appreciate your insight and your input. You are invaluable and 917 00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:33,880 Speaker 1: I pay you zero. You're welcome, but you know I 918 00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:38,720 Speaker 1: love you. We'll say goodbye Fair, but for now, thanks Carlie. 919 00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:40,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks for having Mesia.