WEBVTT - I'm a REALLY bad Mum

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<v Speaker 1>Apogae Production. Welcome back to another episode about My Bad

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<v Speaker 1>Mom podcast. We love the memes that come to our

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<v Speaker 1>Instagram account, by the way, and do you know who

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<v Speaker 1>sends me a lot of parenting memes?

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<v Speaker 2>Who?

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<v Speaker 1>Amelia? My fifteen year old, sends them to.

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<v Speaker 2>Me all the time, just letting you know how good

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<v Speaker 2>your parenting is.

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<v Speaker 1>Not normally but this one, I'm going to read you

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<v Speaker 1>a couple because they're quite funny. So this one's a

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<v Speaker 1>picture of a cat and it says me walking past

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<v Speaker 1>the cat vomit, I'm going to have to act surprise

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<v Speaker 1>to hear about later. True. Nobody's more full of false

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<v Speaker 1>hope than a mum who places items on the stairs

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<v Speaker 1>for people to carry up. I do that all the

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<v Speaker 1>time the time. Is that an English thing? Because I

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<v Speaker 1>remember someone saying to me, you've got all like shoes,

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<v Speaker 1>someone's put all shoes on the bottom of your stairs.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, yeah, that was me, for everyone to

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<v Speaker 1>take their shoes upstairs.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a hint. It's a subtle hint of take your

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<v Speaker 2>shit upstairs.

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<v Speaker 1>Take your shit upstairs. People see me spending money and

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<v Speaker 1>think I'm rich, bro, I'm just irresponsible. That's her, that's.

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<v Speaker 2>How she's feeling after working.

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<v Speaker 1>And then this one. Once I started spending my own money,

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<v Speaker 1>I realized that my mum was right. We do have

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<v Speaker 1>food at home.

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<v Speaker 2>So true.

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<v Speaker 1>When they always say to me and we're literally from

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<v Speaker 1>school to home and they go, can we stop in

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<v Speaker 1>the petrol station and get something to do, I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>we're going to be home in ten minutes. Yeah, no,

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<v Speaker 1>you can make something iron And then they open the

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<v Speaker 1>fridge and they stare at it like we've got nothing nothing.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, it's not going to jump out at you

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<v Speaker 1>talk of which just real quickly. Only the other day,

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<v Speaker 1>first day back at school, can find the shoes. I

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<v Speaker 1>tried to not do the whole Well, if you sorted

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<v Speaker 1>your school stuff out yesterday, like I tell you to

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<v Speaker 1>do before school goes back, then you wouldn't be in

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<v Speaker 1>a panic now about not having your shoes. She went

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<v Speaker 1>to school without her school shoes. She had socks and

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<v Speaker 1>like not thongs.

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<v Speaker 2>But like slides and slides to school to.

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<v Speaker 1>School because she can't find the shoes. Right she left

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<v Speaker 1>for school, I'm doing a quick tidy up around the

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<v Speaker 1>house before I'm leaving for work. Literally open up her

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<v Speaker 1>wardrobe and there's her school shoes on the bottom of

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<v Speaker 1>the wardrobe, where they always are. I called her. I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, what, look what I found? Your school shoes?

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<v Speaker 1>Where were they were? They always are? Oh? Why didn't

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<v Speaker 1>you look where they always are? Why would you not

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<v Speaker 1>look in your wardrobe on the floor for your school shoes,

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<v Speaker 1>that's where you keep them.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, oh, because I just.

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<v Speaker 1>Assumed i'd lost them, so I didn't think they'd be there.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm also more concerned that she's still at school with

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<v Speaker 2>socks and slide. What did she do for the rest

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<v Speaker 2>of the day. Let me guess you had to drop

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<v Speaker 2>the shoes to her at school. No I didn't.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't even offer what would she do for the day?

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<v Speaker 1>She wore them all day? Socks a side? Am I

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<v Speaker 1>a bad mum for not being discreet?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, all right, I can see your face. You're still

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<v Speaker 2>of now gauging. You're going, oh do I do? I not?

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<v Speaker 1>I actually feel really bad about this.

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<v Speaker 2>So when you start off like that, I already know

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<v Speaker 2>you're like, oh, half in, half out half.

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<v Speaker 1>It's one of those moments I was like, oh shit,

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<v Speaker 1>like that was a bad parent. So my girls at

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<v Speaker 1>the moment are at that age where they are massively

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<v Speaker 1>into going to life concerts, which is a really annoying

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<v Speaker 1>for me because I spent years working in radio and

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<v Speaker 1>getting free tickets and they never gave a shit about

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<v Speaker 1>going and we used to leave early. And now they're

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<v Speaker 1>all into it and it's the best thing, and they're

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<v Speaker 1>super excited, and they're on like the ticket master website

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<v Speaker 1>and they're waiting in the line and they're oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm through. They're getting Yeah, is it.

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<v Speaker 2>More about that part of it? Do you reckon sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>for them? Like the winning part, like you've got the tickets,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, like you've got to sit there and wait

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<v Speaker 2>and that wait suspense.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah good, and then you feel like a real winner

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<v Speaker 1>when you get through. Yeah, we've spoken about those ticket websites.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like we've spoken about them recently. Whereas I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like they don't treat me like a customer.

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<v Speaker 2>No they don't.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like you wait in line, now you've got three

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<v Speaker 1>minutes too late. Sorry, not taking your money to I'm.

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<v Speaker 2>Going to take the next one hundred thousand people. Really annoying.

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<v Speaker 1>So anyway, they're super excited, they have saved up money,

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<v Speaker 1>they're going to see Billie Eilish, that was obsessed, obsessed,

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<v Speaker 1>so obsessed that her brother Phineas. I mean, you've got

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<v Speaker 1>to be a diehard Billie Eilish fan.

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<v Speaker 2>I was lost with whose brother it was.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, her brother is also touring, so they were kind

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<v Speaker 1>of excited about the fact that he's coming to Australia.

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<v Speaker 1>I even know, I haven't even never heard of a

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<v Speaker 1>song that he's me neither in my whole life.

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<v Speaker 2>But I didn't even know she had a brother. That's

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<v Speaker 2>how far of a Billie Eilish fan I am. I

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<v Speaker 2>do love her music, don't get me wrong, but I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not a like super fan. So then they're going to

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<v Speaker 2>see Billie Eilish. But they were also very excited when

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<v Speaker 2>her album dropped, to the point that they stayed up

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<v Speaker 2>until like midnight midnight bore it to drop, and then

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<v Speaker 2>they stayed up even longer to like three am listening

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<v Speaker 2>to the new album. Then it's a big thing for them.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and Rach this all happened because I was away,

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<v Speaker 1>so they had someone staying with them and I was like, yeah, whatever, whatever,

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<v Speaker 1>time me like, I'm not going to be there, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm also not going to be there tomorrow. When you're

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<v Speaker 1>horrible because you're so tired, So that was allowed to happen.

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<v Speaker 1>So anyway, they are waiting online ticketmaster whoever it was,

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<v Speaker 1>for these tickets, and they managed to get them and

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<v Speaker 1>one hundred dollars each, which still one hundred dollars, but

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<v Speaker 1>she who Taylor Swift and people like that, like they're

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<v Speaker 1>ridiculous amounts of So Amelia paid for her ticket because

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<v Speaker 1>she had the money and Holly didn't. But Holly's got

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<v Speaker 1>a new job, just hasn't been given any shifts yet.

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<v Speaker 1>So I said, you know what, I'll buy your ticket

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<v Speaker 1>and you can pay us back so that you've got them.

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<v Speaker 1>So that was all great, and they were super excited

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<v Speaker 1>and then we were at home and has actually been

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<v Speaker 1>surprisingly oh it was so surprisingly lovely. I don't mean

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<v Speaker 1>surprisingly lovely, like she's always lovely, but she has definite

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<v Speaker 1>moments of being a teenager, being rude, making me feel

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<v Speaker 1>like a piece of shit. We've spoken in another episode

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<v Speaker 1>about how, you know, I feel like I need to

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<v Speaker 1>go and do some sort of trauma counseling for my

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<v Speaker 1>self esteem living with teenagers, because they do make me

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<v Speaker 1>feel like I'm a piece of shit on the bottom

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<v Speaker 1>of the shoes sometimes but this last week has been

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<v Speaker 1>absolutely lovely. No arguments, no rudeness, no not doing what

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<v Speaker 1>I've asked, getting up in the morning, getting ready for school.

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<v Speaker 1>She's ready to go by the time I come downstairs.

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<v Speaker 1>She's made a lunch box, she's fed the animals, she's

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<v Speaker 1>opened the curtains, she's done the whole lot. And then

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<v Speaker 1>she sits there and she's on her phone, which I

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<v Speaker 1>don't mind, because I'm like, how nice does that feel.

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<v Speaker 1>You've got everything done and now you've got spare time

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<v Speaker 1>instead of rushing around and everyone shouting at each other.

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<v Speaker 2>You've only been trying to teach them for like fifteen years.

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<v Speaker 1>Finally I've had a week of it. And so I

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<v Speaker 1>said to her, I thought we were being really discreet.

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<v Speaker 1>We're on the stairs, and I said to Holly quite quietly,

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<v Speaker 1>but I was like, I've been really impressed with your

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<v Speaker 1>behavior and just generally how lovely you've been this last week,

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<v Speaker 1>and how easy you've made parenting you this week because

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<v Speaker 1>you're not arguing, and you're not you know, we're not

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<v Speaker 1>having to tell you something ten times.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I had a really nice moment with her, and

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<v Speaker 1>I said, you know what, don't worry about paying us

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<v Speaker 1>back for the ticket. We're going to pay that for you.

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<v Speaker 1>But don't tell Amelia.

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<v Speaker 2>Because she is just asked her already.

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<v Speaker 1>But I could see in her face like she was

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<v Speaker 1>we were having a lovely moment, and she was really pleased.

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<v Speaker 1>And they do everything together, and they never get their

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<v Speaker 1>own time, and I forget to praise one because I

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<v Speaker 1>group them together too often. And we just had this

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<v Speaker 1>really nice moment, and I could see that she was

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<v Speaker 1>really enjoying the fact that this was just about her

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<v Speaker 1>and it was not about Amelia. Great, She's super happy.

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<v Speaker 1>Jay's cooked dinner, Dinner's ready, We've gone down, we're eating dinner.

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<v Speaker 1>Meally comes down, we're all eating dinner. At the end

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<v Speaker 1>of dinner, everyone's putting their plates where and we're all

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<v Speaker 1>tidying up, and Amelia says, Mum, can I have a

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<v Speaker 1>chat with you? I went, yeah, yeah, of course, and

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<v Speaker 1>she went in private, and I was like, yeah, sure,

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<v Speaker 1>no worries. So we went off. And it was just

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<v Speaker 1>the way that was the hardest about this was the

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<v Speaker 1>way her little face looked so sad and innocent, but

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<v Speaker 1>she was so grown up in the fact that she'd

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<v Speaker 1>asked me to come away like previously, it would have

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<v Speaker 1>been a big fucking drama, shouting, crying in front of everyone.

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<v Speaker 1>And she just literally took me on my own to

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<v Speaker 1>the side, didn't make a deal of it. And when

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<v Speaker 1>I heard what you said to Holly, don't tell Amelia,

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<v Speaker 1>but we're going to pay for your ticket, and I

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<v Speaker 1>just went, oh, oh my god, no, feel terrible.

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<v Speaker 2>What did you say? How did you rectify it? Let

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<v Speaker 2>me guess we'll pay for you.

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<v Speaker 1>I said, oh, I said, I'm really sorry that you

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<v Speaker 1>heard that, but now we've ruined the surprise. Shut up,

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<v Speaker 1>I said, I was going to give you another couple

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<v Speaker 1>of days to see if you were getting your shit together,

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<v Speaker 1>getting your lunchbox made, getting out of the house on time,

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<v Speaker 1>coming down as early as Holly. I was going to

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<v Speaker 1>give you another couple of days to do that, and

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<v Speaker 1>then we were going to surprise you with the tickets too.

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<v Speaker 2>Over it was so horrible.

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<v Speaker 1>I felt like the worst mom. And the worst part

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<v Speaker 1>of it was in that moment, I was trying to

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<v Speaker 1>be a good mom. I was trying to really lovely,

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<v Speaker 1>and I really fucked it up for the other one.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, look, it probably wasn't like ideal I mean

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<v Speaker 2>that part when you go, look, don't tell the other

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<v Speaker 2>that probably was just the only part where.

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<v Speaker 1>You're like one step too far.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I think the whole idea of it would be

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<v Speaker 2>that you can praise them without having to give them something.

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<v Speaker 2>You can praise them for doing what they're meant to

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<v Speaker 2>be doing because they're meant to be doing it. You

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<v Speaker 2>don't have to give them something because they're being good.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but I've spent fifteen years as a parent absolutely

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<v Speaker 1>bribing my children to do.

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<v Speaker 2>The right thing. You don't even need to bribe them though.

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<v Speaker 2>Now you are not bribing them. They are simply now

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<v Speaker 2>stepping into their own power and doing their own thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Because you've formatted that, you've created that for fifteen years.

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<v Speaker 2>How good is that? Like I'm listening going, holy shit,

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<v Speaker 2>I can't believe they've turned the page. That's all because

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<v Speaker 2>you've done it, You've put in the hard yard.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like for you, you're spending all these years

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<v Speaker 1>that we've been doing the podcast and being friends and

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<v Speaker 1>will continue to go I'm going to watch what she

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<v Speaker 1>does and then not fucking do that.