WEBVTT - #265 We Got Busted! 0:00:01.070 --> 0:00:03.890 One of Nana's favourite things to do is movie time. 0:00:04.769 --> 0:00:06.050 World War II movie time. 0:00:06.250 --> 0:00:08.410 No, well, we've gone off World War II and I 0:00:08.770 --> 0:00:11.470 had to pick something and I picked Whiplash. 0:00:12.030 --> 0:00:12.889 Yes. 0:00:13.110 --> 0:00:16.890 And I know that Nana's liked something because she then 0:00:16.950 --> 0:00:18.950 researches everything about that movie. 0:00:19.150 --> 0:00:20.990 Is this off the back of saying my dad looks 0:00:21.010 --> 0:00:21.529 like Whiplash? 0:00:22.290 --> 0:00:22.570 No. 0:00:24.530 --> 0:00:26.580 She is obsessed with Whiplash right now. 0:00:26.590 --> 0:00:29.070 Really? Obsessed. I've never seen it. 0:00:29.340 --> 0:00:34.140 It's phenomenal. Phenomenal. But now I can't fucking shut up 0:00:34.180 --> 0:00:34.880 about Whiplash. 0:00:36.080 --> 0:00:36.959 That's better than Trump. 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:37.920 Yeah. 0:00:38.420 --> 0:00:39.940 It's on par. 0:00:40.140 --> 0:00:42.019 It's a war I cannot win at home. 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:43.380 Back to the war documentaries. 0:00:43.780 --> 0:00:44.440 Where's Tom Hanks? 0:00:45.020 --> 0:00:45.820 She watched Terminal. 0:00:46.220 --> 0:00:47.380 Who the fuck is watching Terminal? 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:48.379 Are you serious? 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:09.300 Welcome back to Two Doting Dads. I am Matty J. 0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:09.839 And I'm Ash. 0:01:10.200 --> 0:01:11.870 And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is 0:01:11.890 --> 0:01:12.890 the good, it is the bad. 0:01:13.090 --> 0:01:13.770 And the relatable. 0:01:13.790 --> 0:01:14.810 And we don't give advice. 0:01:14.830 --> 0:01:14.890 No. 0:01:14.890 --> 0:01:16.830 Should we just kick off housekeeping? 0:01:17.250 --> 0:01:20.110 I think we should probably do a deep dive into 0:01:20.130 --> 0:01:20.880 the housekeeping. 0:01:21.380 --> 0:01:22.440 Roll your sleeves up. 0:01:22.700 --> 0:01:23.440 Get the mop bucket. 0:01:23.459 --> 0:01:25.399 Get the mop and bucket because it's a mess. 0:01:25.819 --> 0:01:28.420 Emma is someone who listens to the podcast and she 0:01:28.459 --> 0:01:31.530 is also someone who is a member of the exclusive 0:01:31.569 --> 0:01:32.209 Facebook club. 0:01:32.690 --> 0:01:33.490 A member. 0:01:33.890 --> 0:01:38.789 She has questioned us, Ash. She's stirring the pot. 0:01:39.110 --> 0:01:39.510 What'd she say? 0:01:39.530 --> 0:01:41.670 Let me read it to you. I've been listening to 0:01:41.690 --> 0:01:45.330 the podcast since day one. Every single episode. 0:01:45.690 --> 0:01:46.069 Love that. 0:01:46.150 --> 0:01:48.890 She says here, Emma, I love it! Exclamation mark. 0:01:48.910 --> 0:01:49.730 I love that a lot. 0:01:50.310 --> 0:01:50.530 But. 0:01:51.150 --> 0:01:52.420 Remove her from the group immediately. 0:01:52.890 --> 0:01:53.580 Should I ban her? 0:01:54.000 --> 0:01:55.560 You can't put buts in that comment. 0:01:55.860 --> 0:01:58.500 What the heck does housekeeping even mean, guys? 0:01:58.560 --> 0:01:59.180 How dare you? 0:01:59.380 --> 0:02:03.940 I'm so confused about what constitutes something being in housekeeping 0:02:04.420 --> 0:02:06.220 or the normal part of the episode. 0:02:06.380 --> 0:02:09.320 That's the beauty of it. We fucking decide. 0:02:09.340 --> 0:02:10.280 Wow. 0:02:11.410 --> 0:02:15.209 And I love you, Emma, but don't question our methods 0:02:15.790 --> 0:02:18.390 or our segments again. Actually, yeah, you can do it. 0:02:18.389 --> 0:02:20.350 I don't really care that much. That was fake. It 0:02:20.370 --> 0:02:21.370 was fake, Stern. 0:02:21.430 --> 0:02:23.620 It was good. I believed it. You're like a dictator. 0:02:23.630 --> 0:02:26.380 I will not. Oh, God, thank you. That was all 0:02:26.400 --> 0:02:30.079 my energy. All right. Episode's over. Look, I think we 0:02:30.100 --> 0:02:32.840 just decided that housekeeping was whatever. 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:33.760 We- It's just the little knickknacks. 0:02:33.780 --> 0:02:34.440 It's just whatever's left over. 0:02:34.460 --> 0:02:35.420 It's the little knickknacks. 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:37.680 It's the family filing cabinet. That's what it is. 0:02:37.740 --> 0:02:38.520 Yeah. Yeah. 0:02:38.740 --> 0:02:40.000 So I think- Jump on board. 0:02:40.350 --> 0:02:41.650 Like, what have we got in housekeeping? What have we 0:02:41.669 --> 0:02:44.330 got today? I'll start with Ash. 0:02:44.810 --> 0:02:46.430 That's me. Present. 0:02:46.510 --> 0:02:48.910 You popped your Daily Mail cherry. 0:02:49.190 --> 0:02:53.270 You nearly said Daily Bailey then. Yes, Daily Mail. I 0:02:53.310 --> 0:02:54.549 honestly didn't even know. 0:02:54.710 --> 0:02:56.340 Wasn't it Yahoo? Wasn't it Yahoo? 0:02:56.630 --> 0:02:59.380 No, Yahoo I've done. Been there, done that. Yahoo's a 0:02:59.380 --> 0:03:00.100 bit more credible. 0:03:00.139 --> 0:03:01.020 Was it Daily Mail? 0:03:01.080 --> 0:03:01.460 Yeah. 0:03:01.680 --> 0:03:02.480 It looked like Yahoo. 0:03:02.820 --> 0:03:06.440 No, Vic's partner, Dan. He is an avid news reader 0:03:06.470 --> 0:03:08.310 because he doesn't have any social media. So he doesn't. 0:03:08.330 --> 0:03:12.090 What does he do? He dude scrolls the news. 0:03:12.889 --> 0:03:13.370 What does he do? 0:03:13.389 --> 0:03:15.910 I know he's in the nudes. Oh, God. 0:03:15.970 --> 0:03:18.109 How does he like, what does he do every night 0:03:18.310 --> 0:03:20.120 with no social media? What's he up to? What's he doing? 0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:22.940 He's doing exactly the same thing as you. He's doing 0:03:22.970 --> 0:03:24.380 the scroll, but he does. 0:03:24.230 --> 0:03:25.530 It with news articles. 0:03:25.810 --> 0:03:27.030 What the fuck? 0:03:27.090 --> 0:03:27.350 Yeah. 0:03:27.669 --> 0:03:29.770 He knows everything, though. We went to trivia and he 0:03:29.810 --> 0:03:31.350 was like the surprise winning. 0:03:31.490 --> 0:03:33.370 He should go on like the have you been paying attention. 0:03:33.590 --> 0:03:37.890 Yeah. So he's just reading headline after headline after headline. Yeah. 0:03:37.950 --> 0:03:39.040 And he goes he knows it. 0:03:39.180 --> 0:03:40.680 So he's reading the full story or is he just 0:03:40.700 --> 0:03:41.380 doing headlines? 0:03:41.820 --> 0:03:44.180 No, no, he reads the full story. Because he doesn't 0:03:44.220 --> 0:03:45.640 have social media, he's like. 0:03:45.680 --> 0:03:47.900 It's pretty much the same thing. It is. 0:03:47.980 --> 0:03:49.480 Has he tried social media? 0:03:49.500 --> 0:03:49.560 No. 0:03:50.050 --> 0:03:52.210 It's great. 0:03:52.530 --> 0:03:54.420 Do you know what he called it? A time waster. 0:03:54.660 --> 0:03:55.500 And I'm like, what are you doing? 0:03:55.540 --> 0:03:57.200 That's my job he's talking about, okay. 0:03:57.240 --> 0:04:01.640 You know what else wastes time? Building fucking decks. Fucking 0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:04.270 building walls. Yeah, Dan. 0:04:04.280 --> 0:04:10.170 Also, I need you at my house in October. 0:04:10.190 --> 0:04:11.830 So he's had a taste of social media and he 0:04:11.850 --> 0:04:12.470 just didn't like it. 0:04:12.910 --> 0:04:15.050 Yeah, he saw he was just wasting too much time. 0:04:15.130 --> 0:04:17.250 I think like in his break, I think when he 0:04:17.270 --> 0:04:18.729 gets the end of an article, he's like, okay. 0:04:19.029 --> 0:04:21.450 Putting it down now, back to work. Whereas with social, 0:04:21.510 --> 0:04:22.670 it's like it never ends. 0:04:22.810 --> 0:04:23.730 It never ends. 0:04:23.850 --> 0:04:24.190 Yeah. 0:04:24.490 --> 0:04:26.410 I guess it's a maturity thing. If you're like, I 0:04:26.450 --> 0:04:28.390 know Ellie fucking, Nana loves it. 0:04:28.410 --> 0:04:30.430 She's late on. She's a late bloomer too to the 0:04:30.450 --> 0:04:30.789 social media. 0:04:30.850 --> 0:04:32.250 I know. Sometimes I'm like, do you ever get off 0:04:32.300 --> 0:04:32.680 that thing? 0:04:32.690 --> 0:04:35.599 You put your phone down just before. You're always on 0:04:35.620 --> 0:04:36.200 your phone. 0:04:36.220 --> 0:04:38.820 I don't think he realizes though you can use socials 0:04:38.900 --> 0:04:40.880 for news. So like I get a lot of my 0:04:40.920 --> 0:04:41.400 news off. 0:04:41.300 --> 0:04:42.520 Facebook and Instagram. 0:04:42.540 --> 0:04:42.700 Although. 0:04:43.000 --> 0:04:45.940 What's he doing in Daily Mail? Maybe the Guardian? 0:04:45.980 --> 0:04:49.020 Hey, man, that was about me. He must have been 0:04:49.230 --> 0:04:51.450 pumped when he saw his little mate there. He was. 0:04:51.529 --> 0:04:53.170 He was very excited for you. 0:04:53.310 --> 0:04:54.730 Pick your bosses on the news. 0:04:55.570 --> 0:04:56.390 What was the article? 0:04:56.589 --> 0:05:00.550 He reads just the news app. The Apple news app. 0:05:00.690 --> 0:05:02.550 Yeah, so it picks stuff for you. 0:05:02.750 --> 0:05:06.270 I'm sure there's an algorithm in there. It's all fake. 0:05:07.170 --> 0:05:07.990 Fake news. 0:05:08.089 --> 0:05:08.930 What do they say about you? 0:05:09.330 --> 0:05:11.430 I'm beloved. That's all I took away from it, really. 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:12.660 Beloved comedian. 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:14.420 I was on the beloved comedian. 0:05:14.860 --> 0:05:15.360 Take that. 0:05:15.380 --> 0:05:15.800 Take that. 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:16.260 For sure. 0:05:16.300 --> 0:05:18.500 I'm honestly, I'm getting a desk. 0:05:18.890 --> 0:05:20.090 Have you read the comments though? 0:05:20.510 --> 0:05:21.390 No, I don't. No, don't do that. 0:05:21.610 --> 0:05:22.050 Don't do that. 0:05:22.350 --> 0:05:23.010 What did they say? 0:05:23.050 --> 0:05:26.170 Because they're always horrific. You could be like, like beloved 0:05:26.310 --> 0:05:28.960 Ash cured cancer. No, let's do it. No, come on. 0:05:29.020 --> 0:05:30.660 You don't want to do it. And they're like, no, 0:05:30.740 --> 0:05:31.940 I'm not going to hurt that piece of shit. Yeah, 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:33.339 I like that. That fucking loser. 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:33.800 Vic? 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:34.540 Have a knowledge. 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:36.880 Vic's going to sense check this, whether I can handle 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:40.530 it or not. I can't handle that. You suck. 0:05:42.150 --> 0:05:44.730 It's literally you could save a cat from a burning 0:05:44.770 --> 0:05:47.650 house and they'd be like, who's always an attention seeker, 0:05:47.670 --> 0:05:48.180 that guy? 0:05:49.310 --> 0:05:52.010 Beryl would be like, I've never heard of this beloved comedian. 0:05:52.700 --> 0:05:55.230 Okay, the headline reads, for those playing at home, Aussie 0:05:55.250 --> 0:05:59.370 comedian admits he was drinking as many as 15 beers 0:05:59.450 --> 0:06:02.810 a day at home alone before quitting booze in February. 0:06:02.870 --> 0:06:05.350 That's the wrong date. I got that wrong. It's December. 0:06:05.730 --> 0:06:08.029 Can I guess one of the comments? Rookie numbers. 0:06:09.430 --> 0:06:11.830 Oh, knocking the door. What the fuck is that? Oh, God. 0:06:12.180 --> 0:06:12.720 Have we paid rent? 0:06:14.020 --> 0:06:14.900 You were a bit shouty. 0:06:15.200 --> 0:06:15.410 Was I? 0:06:16.110 --> 0:06:17.730 We've just had a knock on the door and it 0:06:17.770 --> 0:06:20.050 was a neighbour in the office who complained about us 0:06:20.070 --> 0:06:20.770 being too loud. 0:06:20.790 --> 0:06:22.150 Well, they did say Vic was a bit loud. 0:06:22.430 --> 0:06:23.390 They said, yeah. 0:06:23.690 --> 0:06:26.650 And I said, she's also really slow getting us to 0:06:26.740 --> 0:06:30.280 get going, you know. Okay. So, Vic, I think the 0:06:30.300 --> 0:06:32.280 takeaway from that interaction is that you might need to 0:06:32.300 --> 0:06:34.100 keep it out of the way. 0:06:34.140 --> 0:06:39.260 Okay, first comment says, boring, mate. Do you want more? 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:40.380 Yeah. 0:06:40.500 --> 0:06:40.720 Yeah. 0:06:44.170 --> 0:06:45.930 Then the next one's nice. It says, I wish him well. 0:06:46.290 --> 0:06:49.470 Getting off a substance is easy. Staying off it can 0:06:49.510 --> 0:06:50.070 be an issue. 0:06:50.450 --> 0:06:50.789 Pussy. 0:06:51.550 --> 0:06:52.670 And then someone wrote amateur. 0:06:53.029 --> 0:06:54.350 Yeah, see, amateur. 0:06:54.690 --> 0:06:55.370 You're not far off. 0:06:55.710 --> 0:06:58.190 I don't understand, like, is it amateur the amount I 0:06:58.230 --> 0:06:58.710 was drinking? 0:06:59.029 --> 0:07:01.010 Well, someone then wrote back to that and said, it's 0:07:01.050 --> 0:07:01.890 called tolerance. 0:07:03.180 --> 0:07:03.839 Because that's what we are. 0:07:03.860 --> 0:07:06.360 That's actually the nicest comment section I've seen on Daily Mail. 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:07.719 Well done. Congratulations. 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:09.240 I'm hard to hate. 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:10.260 You've made it. 0:07:10.620 --> 0:07:10.780 Yes. 0:07:11.570 --> 0:07:15.670 Guys, we have been flat out this week. It's been 0:07:15.730 --> 0:07:18.470 one of the busiest weeks of ever. 0:07:18.610 --> 0:07:19.120 Our lives. 0:07:19.770 --> 0:07:21.239 In Two Dirty Dads. Yeah. 0:07:21.500 --> 0:07:22.540 It's been a bit long. 0:07:22.620 --> 0:07:24.720 And I don't want to, I'm not saying this to 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:27.240 make people enjoy the product more when it comes out. 0:07:27.260 --> 0:07:28.280 It does help. 0:07:28.780 --> 0:07:31.500 But it was so close to being on the chopping block. 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:33.000 I'm talking about the calendar. 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:36.490 Oh, yeah. We tooted and froed for ages. I thought 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:37.990 we decided that we weren't going to do it. Then 0:07:38.030 --> 0:07:40.150 all of a sudden we were doing it and it happened. 0:07:40.190 --> 0:07:41.820 We did it. We did it. We have done it 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:45.120 down south in Ulladulla. It's a chore play calendar. 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:45.740 It's back. 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:47.260 It's back. It is back. 0:07:47.300 --> 0:07:48.120 In a big way. 0:07:48.180 --> 0:07:52.190 And I know I'm biased, but it is the sexiest. 0:07:52.580 --> 0:07:53.490 Homoerotic. 0:07:55.210 --> 0:07:55.810 It is. 0:07:56.470 --> 0:07:59.010 Thanks to Vic, she really put us in positions that 0:07:59.030 --> 0:08:00.230 we wouldn't normally see ourselves in. 0:08:00.670 --> 0:08:01.590 I'm very limber now. 0:08:02.990 --> 0:08:03.790 She made me fuck Ash. 0:08:05.490 --> 0:08:07.290 One stage she was like, make this one a wet one. 0:08:09.410 --> 0:08:12.330 I think I said, I want to see you guys 0:08:12.350 --> 0:08:12.780 get all wet. 0:08:12.850 --> 0:08:16.330 Yeah. She's like, stop fucking around. I want to see 0:08:16.350 --> 0:08:17.850 you guys get fucking wet. 0:08:18.630 --> 0:08:19.730 They were in the shower, guys. 0:08:19.850 --> 0:08:22.310 They were in the shower. So since then. 0:08:23.170 --> 0:08:23.950 It's awkward now. 0:08:25.110 --> 0:08:29.480 Coming into the office, we're like, hey, hey. How are you? 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:34.910 Last night was fun. It's. So, yes, keep an eye 0:08:34.950 --> 0:08:37.990 out for any updates on the calendar because it's shot. 0:08:38.429 --> 0:08:39.210 That's as far as we know. 0:08:39.230 --> 0:08:41.270 It's done. I did post about it. A little teaser 0:08:41.450 --> 0:08:43.290 is in the Facebook group. So if you want to 0:08:43.330 --> 0:08:46.570 see just how raunchy it got, it's in there. 0:08:47.030 --> 0:08:49.210 Also, we have new hats. We launched them last week. 0:08:49.410 --> 0:08:51.500 Oh, they're just selling well. They are selling very well. 0:08:51.530 --> 0:08:53.980 You look great in yours. I would say they're selling 0:08:54.059 --> 0:08:54.580 too well. 0:08:55.120 --> 0:08:56.939 Get them before they run out. 0:08:57.080 --> 0:08:59.500 I love what you're trying to do. Honestly, I don't 0:08:59.520 --> 0:09:01.000 know if there's any left, so maybe we shouldn't. 0:09:01.450 --> 0:09:02.429 I think we have a couple left. 0:09:02.470 --> 0:09:03.290 There's just a couple. 0:09:03.570 --> 0:09:04.880 I've been giving them out as well. 0:09:04.929 --> 0:09:07.060 They're actually cheap compared to hats these days. 0:09:07.059 --> 0:09:07.320 35? 35. 0:09:07.320 --> 0:09:10.820 Plus these two. Vic tried to bump them up to 0:09:10.820 --> 0:09:11.140 60 bucks. 0:09:11.460 --> 0:09:12.540 I know. She's thirsty. 0:09:12.620 --> 0:09:13.880 She was like, charge them more. 0:09:14.400 --> 0:09:14.679 Yeah. 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:15.220 The fuckers. 0:09:15.380 --> 0:09:15.860 The fuckers. 0:09:15.900 --> 0:09:19.160 Take your shirt off. So there are a couple left. 0:09:19.179 --> 0:09:25.010 There are a couple left. Go and have a look. 2datingdads. com. 0:09:22.830 --> 0:09:25.770 Quick one. Toys R Us is coming back. No, it's not. 0:09:25.770 --> 0:09:28.610 120 store locations. No, it's not. It could be fake news. 0:09:28.630 --> 0:09:28.890 Iconic. 0:09:28.910 --> 0:09:31.150 But I just want to let you guys know. 0:09:31.750 --> 0:09:32.569 Where did you see that? 0:09:32.929 --> 0:09:34.070 A very credible source. 0:09:34.270 --> 0:09:35.410 Why did it disappear? 0:09:35.890 --> 0:09:36.859 Probably department stores. 0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:39.380 No, because they're also struggling. 0:09:39.700 --> 0:09:42.220 Yeah, but a store specific to one type of thing 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:42.819 can't last forever. 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:46.679 Can I just give them a heads up? They're fucked. 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:47.939 Unless it's an online store. 0:09:48.020 --> 0:09:49.179 Amazon's already beat you to it. 0:09:49.340 --> 0:09:52.469 Yeah, it's like the overheads on a shop must be unbelievable. 0:09:52.830 --> 0:09:55.130 We had a birthday party on the weekend, last minute, 0:09:55.190 --> 0:09:59.969 didn't have a present, got a dancing mat, $ 40, delivered it. 0:10:00.620 --> 0:10:01.160 in three hours. 0:10:01.179 --> 0:10:01.800 Like it lights up? 0:10:02.260 --> 0:10:04.620 Yeah, and I broke ours. 0:10:05.020 --> 0:10:07.720 It's probably got a, not that you're a heavy man, 0:10:07.740 --> 0:10:09.340 it's probably got a weight limit for a child. 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:12.239 See, that's the thing. And I used to, I would 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:14.820 go one-footed and do it. And then Marley was like, 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:16.880 you're cheating. You've got to do two feet. Two feet. 0:10:17.150 --> 0:10:17.830 She's like, she's onto me. 0:10:17.970 --> 0:10:21.890 And then I jumped and did a two-foot dance move. Snapped. 0:10:22.690 --> 0:10:22.820 Oh. 0:10:23.080 --> 0:10:24.020 Snapped. Snapped the plate. 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:24.680 That's. 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:26.579 Order another one. Three hours. 0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:29.840 There it is. There it is. Yeah, I don't know 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:30.580 how they're going to. 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:32.280 Did you say 120 new stores? 0:10:32.340 --> 0:10:32.980 Yeah, I could have lied. 0:10:33.160 --> 0:10:34.290 That's a lot. That's a lot. 0:10:34.330 --> 0:10:34.710 Is that right? 0:10:34.790 --> 0:10:35.870 I think it's in America. 0:10:35.890 --> 0:10:36.970 Okay. 0:10:36.990 --> 0:10:39.189 And that's why Vic does breaking news and not you. 0:10:39.210 --> 0:10:39.670 Okay. 0:10:39.690 --> 0:10:41.510 Well, while we're on the topic, what have you got 0:10:41.530 --> 0:10:41.689 for us? 0:10:41.970 --> 0:10:43.280 Oh, are we going to break the news right now? 0:10:43.300 --> 0:10:43.800 Yeah, why not? 0:10:43.830 --> 0:10:45.250 We'll come back to that. Yeah, we'll mix it up. 0:10:45.450 --> 0:10:45.770 I'm sure. 0:10:45.790 --> 0:10:47.329 Emma right now is very confused. 0:10:47.350 --> 0:10:48.770 Yeah, Emma's like, what the fuck? 0:10:48.890 --> 0:10:49.670 Hang on a second. 0:10:49.950 --> 0:10:51.809 This is breaking news. Then we're going to go back 0:10:51.850 --> 0:10:53.750 to housekeeping. Back into housekeeping. How does that sound? 0:10:54.490 --> 0:10:56.090 Keep your voice down. 0:10:56.130 --> 0:10:57.190 No, fuck that guy too. 0:10:57.870 --> 0:10:59.209 Okay, it's, oh God. 0:10:59.630 --> 0:10:59.870 What? 0:11:00.050 --> 0:11:03.090 Although it wasn't from the psychologist who's also next door. 0:11:03.110 --> 0:11:05.510 No, it was from the business analyst people anyway. 0:11:06.530 --> 0:11:10.390 What do they need silence for? I guarantee he's got 0:11:10.429 --> 0:11:11.010 headphones on. 0:11:11.150 --> 0:11:12.569 Okay. Maybe they're having a meeting. 0:11:12.870 --> 0:11:14.189 You should have said, well, I heard you fart in 0:11:14.210 --> 0:11:14.510 the hallway. 0:11:15.410 --> 0:11:16.719 We did. We did hear them fart. 0:11:16.800 --> 0:11:19.420 That would have shut him right up. Were you guys 0:11:19.500 --> 0:11:20.060 acting in there? 0:11:20.580 --> 0:11:20.740 Yeah. 0:11:20.940 --> 0:11:22.020 Well, kind of. 0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:23.620 This is not an act. 0:11:24.059 --> 0:11:25.479 Acting a little bit hurt right now. 0:11:26.280 --> 0:11:27.740 So there's a lot of sad news in the world 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:29.280 at the moment, so I thought I'd give you some 0:11:29.400 --> 0:11:31.720 happy news and there's also a bit of a hack 0:11:31.860 --> 0:11:33.350 in here as well, if you will. 0:11:34.050 --> 0:11:34.729 A happy hack. 0:11:34.790 --> 0:11:35.430 A happy hack, yeah. 0:11:35.450 --> 0:11:36.170 Happy news hack. 0:11:36.710 --> 0:11:38.410 I feel like Matt will love this. But anyway, we'll 0:11:38.429 --> 0:11:38.929 see how we go. 0:11:39.070 --> 0:11:39.969 I'll be the judge of that. 0:11:41.090 --> 0:11:44.729 After 35 years of marriage. Sorry. 0:11:45.610 --> 0:11:46.110 What? 0:11:47.330 --> 0:11:48.510 You're making me laugh. 0:11:48.650 --> 0:11:51.660 I just checked the time. Insinuating that she's. 0:11:51.700 --> 0:11:52.740 Shut up and take your shirt off. 0:11:52.780 --> 0:11:57.679 Okay. Not what I said. 0:11:57.860 --> 0:12:01.000 Vic, no. She's not coming to any more topless photo shoots. 0:12:01.280 --> 0:12:02.020 Okay. 0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:03.559 I felt like a piece of meat. 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:05.440 I am sorry. 0:12:05.480 --> 0:12:06.739 I kind of enjoyed it. 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:08.400 When you went to the bathroom before and it was 0:12:08.420 --> 0:12:11.010 just Vic and I in the room, I was very anxious. 0:12:11.050 --> 0:12:12.630 Yeah, we have each other's back. 0:12:12.690 --> 0:12:14.010 Don't joke about that. 0:12:14.370 --> 0:12:20.130 Take your shower. Get him wetter. Kiss. 0:12:22.170 --> 0:12:24.770 After 35 years of marriage, one husband has shared a 0:12:24.820 --> 0:12:28.579 simple approach he believes has helped his relationship stay strong. 0:12:29.320 --> 0:12:32.750 His approach is known as the 2-2-2 rule. Couples should 0:12:32.790 --> 0:12:35.330 aim to have a date night every two weeks, take 0:12:35.350 --> 0:12:38.350 a weekend away every two months and spend a full 0:12:38.390 --> 0:12:42.270 week together every two years. The idea is less about 0:12:42.330 --> 0:12:44.590 how much money is spent or where you go and 0:12:44.670 --> 0:12:47.860 more about deliberately stepping away from the day-to-day routine so 0:12:47.890 --> 0:12:51.920 that your relationship doesn't become another item on the household 0:12:51.980 --> 0:12:52.579 to-do list. 0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:54.820 Sorry, but can you repeat the two, two, two? What's 0:12:54.860 --> 0:12:55.280 the two? 0:12:55.300 --> 0:12:55.979 Absolutely. 0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:58.860 Couples should aim to have a date night every two weeks. 0:12:59.020 --> 0:13:01.420 Date night every two weeks. Okay, that's a lot. That's 0:13:01.460 --> 0:13:01.780 a lot. 0:13:02.510 --> 0:13:03.670 One date night every fortnight. 0:13:03.860 --> 0:13:06.300 Are we talking like a full sitter date night the 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:06.880 whole bit? 0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:07.340 No. 0:13:08.059 --> 0:13:10.439 Something more simple. Like a walk. 0:13:10.620 --> 0:13:10.960 A walk. 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:12.859 It says a date night could be as simple as 0:13:12.900 --> 0:13:15.040 dinner at home or a night out, while the weekend 0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:17.119 away could mean a nearby road trip rather than an 0:13:17.179 --> 0:13:18.079 expensive holiday. 0:13:18.480 --> 0:13:21.079 The idea is to make space for a longer break together. 0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:24.260 So a weekend away every two years. Is that what 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:24.520 he said? 0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:26.199 No, a week away every two years. 0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:27.060 A week away? 0:13:27.260 --> 0:13:27.800 A full week. 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:28.920 A week away. 0:13:28.940 --> 0:13:31.640 I've just done one every year for the last two years. 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:33.339 April and I just went away for a week. 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:33.500 I know. 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:34.260 I've noticed. 0:13:35.300 --> 0:13:42.040 Okay, son. There you go. You're never home. Oscar talks. 0:13:42.460 --> 0:13:43.640 The rest of us have been like. 0:13:43.880 --> 0:13:45.060 Us three kids at home. 0:13:45.580 --> 0:13:46.819 Fucking shut up. I can't. 0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:48.079 This is who I am. 0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:50.079 Jesus Christ. This is the loudest you've ever been. 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:50.360 Really? 0:13:50.380 --> 0:13:52.110 I think I'm just doing out of spite now. 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:55.950 My God. We stopped yelling at us, Ash. 0:13:56.090 --> 0:13:57.150 I'm so scared. 0:13:58.110 --> 0:13:59.410 Vic's petrified over here. 0:13:59.610 --> 0:14:01.340 Let's just get this episode out of the way then. 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:05.100 They hate getting in trouble. 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:06.940 If it knocks the door again, I'm going. 0:14:07.260 --> 0:14:08.980 Ash has me pinned against the wall right now. 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:09.900 Take your shirt off. 0:14:10.800 --> 0:14:13.300 I think it's really good. I actually want to infiltrate. 0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:16.179 Infiltrate? I bet you do. 0:14:16.220 --> 0:14:17.080 Get sex off the mind. 0:14:17.620 --> 0:14:19.500 I want to introduce this into our relationship. 0:14:20.020 --> 0:14:22.450 Who is this guy? Who is he? The 222. 0:14:22.450 --> 0:14:24.070 He's been married for 35 years. 0:14:24.210 --> 0:14:24.610 Loser. 0:14:25.770 --> 0:14:27.790 Just the one marriage? Loser. 0:14:28.830 --> 0:14:30.290 Damn it, why can't we come up with a rule? 0:14:30.730 --> 0:14:31.590 It is so true though. 0:14:31.630 --> 0:14:33.810 Like I think, fuck, I really would love to have 0:14:33.870 --> 0:14:35.750 more date nights with Dan, but trying to fit it 0:14:35.790 --> 0:14:37.550 into life is hard. 0:14:37.970 --> 0:14:38.310 I know. 0:14:38.350 --> 0:14:39.710 Just get him over to fix something at your place. 0:14:39.730 --> 0:14:41.970 That's what I'd do if I want to hang. 0:14:43.030 --> 0:14:45.800 Out with Dan. I can't even do the six-second kiss rule. 0:14:46.460 --> 0:14:47.080 Oh, yeah, how does that go? 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:48.700 That's because the barrier to entry is so high. 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:50.760 No, because every time she's leaving, it's always when I'm 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:54.120 eating breakfast. I had Nutri-Grain. You know how bad Nutri-Grain 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:55.280 smells in a fermented mouth? 0:14:55.710 --> 0:14:57.790 I don't understand why you're trying to do this in 0:14:57.840 --> 0:14:59.940 the morning. That's an evening thing. 0:14:59.960 --> 0:15:01.240 Why don't you brush your teeth when you wake up? 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:04.660 Well, no, because everyone knows you eat your breakfast first 0:15:04.780 --> 0:15:05.680 and then brush your teeth. 0:15:05.700 --> 0:15:08.720 I do it on both ends. That sounded, yeah, I 0:15:08.740 --> 0:15:12.700 brush my arsehole and I brush my teeth right after breakfast. No, 0:15:12.860 --> 0:15:15.680 I go, sorry, I'm trying to be quiet to the 0:15:15.700 --> 0:15:18.200 fucking neighbours. We're moving. 0:15:18.610 --> 0:15:20.260 This is why it was so cheap. 0:15:21.230 --> 0:15:21.610 Right? 0:15:22.010 --> 0:15:23.830 Because of the fucking business analysts down the road. 0:15:24.220 --> 0:15:28.540 Put your headphones in and shut up. What was I saying? 0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:29.260 You're an asshole. 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:32.090 My teeth, my teeth. I brush my teeth when I 0:15:32.550 --> 0:15:34.150 first get up out of bed because I feel like 0:15:34.230 --> 0:15:34.870 I don't like the taste. 0:15:34.910 --> 0:15:36.729 As like a prelim brush or? 0:15:36.770 --> 0:15:39.070 Like a brush. Then I'll go about my morning and 0:15:39.090 --> 0:15:41.810 have breakfast, have a coffee, whatever, and then I'll go 0:15:41.850 --> 0:15:42.670 back for round two. 0:15:42.990 --> 0:15:44.010 What the fuck? 0:15:44.030 --> 0:15:45.510 Are you talking about sex or what? 0:15:45.610 --> 0:15:45.990 Yeah. 0:15:46.090 --> 0:15:47.890 Both. Nah, teeth. 0:15:48.330 --> 0:15:49.970 So you do a double brush. So you brush your 0:15:49.990 --> 0:15:51.250 teeth three times in a day. 0:15:51.270 --> 0:15:53.420 I would do it more if I could. April does 0:15:53.460 --> 0:15:54.200 it after every meal. 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:58.440 Show me your gums. They look red raw. They need 0:15:58.480 --> 0:15:59.160 a fucking break. 0:16:00.100 --> 0:16:01.730 Show me your gums. 0:16:01.750 --> 0:16:02.330 Show me your gums. 0:16:02.350 --> 0:16:03.130 Show me your gums. 0:16:07.250 --> 0:16:10.070 Well, that is a lovely article, Vic. 0:16:10.090 --> 0:16:15.820 Well done. Where was the hack? Vic can't get through 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:16.979 this episode. I can see it. 0:16:16.980 --> 0:16:17.460 What? 0:16:18.020 --> 0:16:21.180 The business analysts are like, that's quite a good rule. 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:25.140 Yeah, he's drunk. Honestly, they get a free episode. 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:27.990 People pay good money to listen to us. 0:16:28.130 --> 0:16:28.830 It is free. 0:16:28.850 --> 0:16:29.330 Fucking idiots. 0:16:29.350 --> 0:16:33.690 He's getting no ads. This guy is getting no ads. 0:16:35.010 --> 0:16:37.770 He's getting IRL version. 0:16:37.830 --> 0:16:38.700 I am crying. 0:16:39.780 --> 0:16:40.440 So where was the hack? 0:16:42.020 --> 0:16:45.060 The hack's the 222. That's not a hack. That's too 0:16:45.080 --> 0:16:45.860 many rules for me. 0:16:47.350 --> 0:16:48.170 Oh, no. 0:16:48.230 --> 0:16:48.650 I had that. 0:16:49.290 --> 0:16:49.990 Yeah, you read that. 0:16:50.010 --> 0:16:51.070 I've been workshopping that. 0:16:51.090 --> 0:16:51.150 2-2-2. 0:16:51.190 --> 0:16:53.290 I thought it was going to be a ballet joke. 0:16:55.030 --> 0:16:58.340 Well, look, speaking of ballet, fucking Segway. Is that Segway 0:16:58.360 --> 0:16:58.780 of the year? 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:01.120 Your toe one was better. Well, your tooth. 0:17:01.180 --> 0:17:02.700 Top five. Top five Segways of the year. 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:03.080 Tooth was good. 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:05.320 I just got a message about Lola. 0:17:06.660 --> 0:17:06.959 Go on. 0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:08.840 My little Lola. 0:17:08.880 --> 0:17:10.500 Remind me who Lola is again. 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:13.350 Lola is my middle child. Who I love. 0:17:13.380 --> 0:17:14.420 You've got the name right too. 0:17:14.460 --> 0:17:16.450 We're getting along really well at the moment. 0:17:16.670 --> 0:17:16.830 Okay. 0:17:16.850 --> 0:17:19.490 We're hitting it off. Yep. Because I always wait until 0:17:19.510 --> 0:17:21.070 Laura gets cranky, then I come in and I'm like, 0:17:21.090 --> 0:17:21.409 I love you. 0:17:22.450 --> 0:17:22.810 Smart. 0:17:23.369 --> 0:17:24.430 Very toxic. 0:17:24.710 --> 0:17:26.570 I think you've got to get the leg up over 0:17:26.609 --> 0:17:28.389 mum wherever you can because she's always going to be 0:17:28.410 --> 0:17:28.930 the favourite. 0:17:29.330 --> 0:17:29.609 Always. 0:17:29.690 --> 0:17:32.210 Always. I'm like to Macy, I'm like, come give me 0:17:32.230 --> 0:17:33.890 a cuddle. She's like, no, I'm giving mummy a cuddle. 0:17:33.910 --> 0:17:36.230 I'm like, I've got a special treat. And she comes 0:17:36.270 --> 0:17:36.669 in and does it. 0:17:36.790 --> 0:17:40.090 Can I just say, the reason why kids prefer mums 0:17:40.109 --> 0:17:41.369 is because you don't have stubble. 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:43.320 Some do. 0:17:43.340 --> 0:17:45.760 We've also got breasts. 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:47.000 Yeah, you do. 0:17:47.020 --> 0:17:49.960 Your cuddles are always going to be better than ours. 0:17:50.240 --> 0:17:52.770 Who the fuck wants to cuddle like this scrapey beard, 0:17:52.810 --> 0:17:53.110 you know? 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:53.199 Yeah. 0:17:54.070 --> 0:17:56.429 Like if I had tits and no facial hair, fuck. 0:17:56.910 --> 0:17:58.070 I'd be getting cuddles everywhere. 0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:00.280 I'm swearing too much this episode. I apologize. 0:18:00.300 --> 0:18:01.840 No, I like it. Thank you. Sweat more. 0:18:02.020 --> 0:18:03.100 Tell me about Lola's ballet. 0:18:03.340 --> 0:18:07.830 So I have just committed every parent's worst nightmare. Lola 0:18:08.230 --> 0:18:13.790 has been doing an after-school care dance class. Very, very basic. Very, 0:18:13.830 --> 0:18:16.929 very basic. Wasn't that into it, but we signed her up. 0:18:17.450 --> 0:18:21.120 She loves it. Absolutely loves it. Loves it. And then 0:18:21.140 --> 0:18:21.840 do you know what happened? 0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:22.560 What? 0:18:22.940 --> 0:18:25.780 So I pick her up last week. I walk through 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:28.310 the gate and normally they'll be playing in the courtyard 0:18:28.410 --> 0:18:29.939 and they'll see me in that run over. They're like, Hey, 0:18:29.950 --> 0:18:33.090 we're going yay. And she runs towards me. And then 0:18:33.150 --> 0:18:35.350 as she's like five steps into running, she just starts 0:18:35.590 --> 0:18:39.060 bawling her eyes out. And I'm like, what's wrong, Baba? 0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:39.520 What's wrong? 0:18:39.580 --> 0:18:42.720 I thought you were going to say she fell over. No, 0:18:42.800 --> 0:18:44.540 that happens a lot of the time. And now that 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:46.639 we're not wearing stockings, it's out of winter, I can 0:18:46.660 --> 0:18:49.139 scrape knees. But she's just bawling her eyes out. And 0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:51.070 I'm like, what happened? She goes, it was my end 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:54.990 of term dance. And you weren't there. The parents were there. 0:18:55.550 --> 0:18:56.790 And I was like, what? 0:18:57.590 --> 0:19:00.369 And I didn't sign her up. Laura did. And so 0:19:00.490 --> 0:19:03.330 I was like, I missed the message. I was like, what? 0:19:03.350 --> 0:19:05.270 And she's like, you weren't there. I was waiting and 0:19:05.290 --> 0:19:07.629 all the parents were there and you didn't turn up. 0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:10.180 And I was like, oh, my God, this is like 0:19:10.540 --> 0:19:12.940 the worst fear, right, with your kids there. 0:19:13.820 --> 0:19:15.939 When you go to like a parent thing and you 0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:18.080 see the poor kid, because you never know, people's circumstances 0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:19.800 might not allow them to come because of work or whatever. 0:19:19.820 --> 0:19:21.659 I'm not judging. But if you can tell them. You 0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:22.760 see that kid and you're like, oh. 0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:24.959 I know, I know. But if you like the worst 0:19:25.180 --> 0:19:28.109 is the parents who aren't coming, I'm sure would always 0:19:28.140 --> 0:19:30.230 say like, hey, just so you know, mummy and daddy 0:19:30.270 --> 0:19:31.450 cannot be there today. 0:19:31.470 --> 0:19:35.430 Do you want to eat tonight? Was that not too loud? 0:19:35.850 --> 0:19:39.129 That was really good. Well, good job. Round of applause 0:19:39.150 --> 0:19:39.379 for Ash. 0:19:39.390 --> 0:19:40.910 It's actually more tiring being this quiet. 0:19:40.990 --> 0:19:43.070 It actually reminded me. I say that to Louis all 0:19:43.090 --> 0:19:45.030 the time. I'm like, I need to make money. 0:19:46.490 --> 0:19:48.830 I do that too. I'm just like, I've got to 0:19:48.850 --> 0:19:50.300 go to work. And they're like, I'll just. like, don't 0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:53.719 be silly, you don't have a job. I was like, 0:19:54.080 --> 0:19:55.400 I've got to get money to buy the things. 0:19:55.440 --> 0:20:00.340 He's like, yeah, like, bye-bye. So Lola's hysterical, right, very upset. 0:20:00.540 --> 0:20:02.859 I go into the after-school care educator's room and I 0:20:02.859 --> 0:20:05.409 was like, hey, guys, I didn't realise there was a 0:20:05.570 --> 0:20:08.070 dance performance today. And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we emailed. 0:20:08.170 --> 0:20:10.659 And I was like. I can call Laura. And I'm like, babe, 0:20:11.720 --> 0:20:14.350 Lola had a dance performance. You didn't tell me. And 0:20:14.690 --> 0:20:15.909 I was like, you've really got to put me on 0:20:15.930 --> 0:20:18.989 those emails. So, like, it's ridiculous. And Laura was like, 0:20:19.290 --> 0:20:20.929 don't blame me. And I was like, well, you're the 0:20:20.950 --> 0:20:22.270 one who signed her up. And I was like, hang 0:20:22.290 --> 0:20:23.669 on a sec. And I was like, who did you 0:20:23.690 --> 0:20:24.410 send that email to? 0:20:24.430 --> 0:20:24.990 Oh, no. 0:20:25.109 --> 0:20:26.570 And he goes, sent it to you. 0:20:27.290 --> 0:20:27.850 Points at me. 0:20:27.869 --> 0:20:29.470 Oh, Matt. 0:20:29.830 --> 0:20:31.010 And I was like, fuck. 0:20:31.710 --> 0:20:33.560 You've got to check that before you ring up. Like, 0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:35.899 go in with your guns. I know. Like a sheriff, 0:20:35.940 --> 0:20:37.200 like twirling your guns around. 0:20:37.240 --> 0:20:37.620 I was like. 0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:41.260 Laura, you've really got to check your emails, you know. 0:20:41.580 --> 0:20:44.090 So now you're in the bad books with both. 0:20:44.590 --> 0:20:47.649 So what's going to happen here is in like six 0:20:47.670 --> 0:20:50.229 to 12 months' time, okay, something's going to happen. She's 0:20:50.250 --> 0:20:52.770 going to bring that up. That's what usually happens. 0:20:53.050 --> 0:20:55.090 She already brought it up. 0:20:56.510 --> 0:20:57.490 So, okay. 0:20:57.520 --> 0:20:59.080 So I made it up to Lola. Made it up 0:20:59.100 --> 0:21:00.840 to Lola and I said, do you know what? I'm 0:21:00.859 --> 0:21:02.900 going to sign you up for proper dance classes now. 0:21:03.220 --> 0:21:03.820 She happy with that? 0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:06.260 And she was pumped. She was pumped because I said 0:21:06.560 --> 0:21:09.389 the teacher– has said that you're so good that they 0:21:09.410 --> 0:21:13.770 want you to do proper dance classes. Like Marley. Like Marley, yes. 0:21:14.270 --> 0:21:15.070 Today's the day. 0:21:15.470 --> 0:21:16.439 How are her rhythms? 0:21:16.580 --> 0:21:18.169 Really good. She loves it. 0:21:18.260 --> 0:21:20.000 She loves it. You're quite rhythmic. 0:21:20.400 --> 0:21:20.740 Thank you. 0:21:20.859 --> 0:21:23.790 She comes from good stock. Good rhythmic stock. 0:21:23.810 --> 0:21:25.669 That is the nicest thing you've ever said about me. No, 0:21:25.730 --> 0:21:25.949 it's not. 0:21:26.330 --> 0:21:27.990 Both dancers with the stars. 0:21:28.450 --> 0:21:28.670 Yep. 0:21:28.790 --> 0:21:28.950 Yep. 0:21:28.990 --> 0:21:31.570 Guilty. What? Did you win? Did Laura win? 0:21:31.970 --> 0:21:33.270 We both came third last. 0:21:33.590 --> 0:21:34.490 But it wasn't last. 0:21:34.530 --> 0:21:35.290 But it was not last. 0:21:35.369 --> 0:21:35.590 No. 0:21:35.670 --> 0:21:38.859 You're right. Thank you. Thank you. So I'm dropping Lola off. 0:21:38.900 --> 0:21:40.500 Her bag is packed because they pick them up from 0:21:40.580 --> 0:21:42.740 school to take them to dance class, which is like 0:21:42.780 --> 0:21:45.980 next door. And Lola was like, my tummy hurts. And 0:21:46.020 --> 0:21:47.379 I was like, what do you mean? She's like, I 0:21:47.440 --> 0:21:50.640 feel really nervous. And I was like, no, it's okay, honey. 0:21:50.660 --> 0:21:52.359 You're going to do so good. Like you're going to 0:21:52.400 --> 0:21:54.760 be great. And there's a couple of girls who dance 0:21:54.780 --> 0:21:57.619 in her class and they've been dancing all year together. 0:21:58.090 --> 0:21:59.990 It's the first time she's joining us pretty late in 0:22:00.010 --> 0:22:01.910 the year. It's September. 0:22:01.930 --> 0:22:05.770 It's pretty much October. You got to start sometime. 0:22:05.970 --> 0:22:08.190 Well said. Well said. And then I got a message 0:22:08.210 --> 0:22:11.159 from school and she said, I don't feel well. I 0:22:11.390 --> 0:22:13.800 want to be picked up and go home. And she's 0:22:13.840 --> 0:22:16.120 at home and Nana's like, she's totally fine. 0:22:16.140 --> 0:22:16.780 Yeah, it's nerves. 0:22:16.880 --> 0:22:18.870 If she was too nervous, she wouldn't go. 0:22:19.140 --> 0:22:21.610 I got to talk Oscar into jiu-jitsu. Everyone already loves 0:22:21.650 --> 0:22:24.190 it so much just because of the nerves. Yeah. 0:22:24.210 --> 0:22:27.280 But at that age, they might be confused about the 0:22:27.320 --> 0:22:29.600 feelings that are nervous and the feelings that are sick 0:22:29.640 --> 0:22:31.500 because they are very similar feelings. 0:22:31.580 --> 0:22:32.939 Yeah, it's a weird bloody. 0:22:33.180 --> 0:22:34.719 I still get that, yeah. And I'm like, oh, I'm 0:22:34.760 --> 0:22:36.619 not feeling well. And it's like once I've done the 0:22:36.640 --> 0:22:39.100 thing in the day that I subconsciously was nervous about, 0:22:39.119 --> 0:22:40.140 I'm like, I actually feel pretty good. 0:22:40.420 --> 0:22:41.320 Yeah. 0:22:41.359 --> 0:22:43.680 And I don't. She's not going to go. So she's 0:22:43.720 --> 0:22:44.260 at home now. 0:22:44.440 --> 0:22:45.100 She's at home. 0:22:45.119 --> 0:22:46.640 Put her on the dance mat when you get home. 0:22:46.960 --> 0:22:47.580 It's broken. 0:22:47.780 --> 0:22:48.380 Get a new one. 0:22:48.400 --> 0:22:48.540 Quick. 0:22:48.660 --> 0:22:50.120 Amazon. Toys R Us. 0:22:50.160 --> 0:22:52.929 Pull the thing. And I was like. I don't know 0:22:52.950 --> 0:22:55.129 what to do. I'll try again because now I've got 0:22:55.150 --> 0:22:56.280 a break for school holidays. 0:22:56.460 --> 0:22:57.220 Try again next time. 0:22:57.260 --> 0:22:58.440 Try again next time. 0:22:58.480 --> 0:23:00.980 It's a fine line between like, because I know Oscar 0:23:01.020 --> 0:23:01.760 would be like. 0:23:03.060 --> 0:23:04.420 How do you convince him for. 0:23:04.900 --> 0:23:07.870 Jiu-jitsu? Yeah. I try and get him to think about 0:23:08.240 --> 0:23:12.410 how it feels after and then. Sometimes that doesn't work. 0:23:12.430 --> 0:23:14.409 The bike thing really worked where I was like, what 0:23:14.430 --> 0:23:16.250 about we ride there? How cool is it going to 0:23:16.270 --> 0:23:17.969 be when you turn up on your bike and everyone's there? 0:23:18.050 --> 0:23:20.070 I couldn't because they pick them up from school. 0:23:20.450 --> 0:23:21.669 Yeah, it's a tricky one. 0:23:21.710 --> 0:23:22.929 Have you had to pay all the fees? 0:23:23.490 --> 0:23:23.750 No. 0:23:23.950 --> 0:23:25.820 Luckily she was like, I'll give you a trial one. 0:23:28.260 --> 0:23:28.840 I'll give you a little trial. 0:23:28.859 --> 0:23:31.540 Everyone smokes in our stories. Yeah. Like no one smokes anymore. 0:23:31.880 --> 0:23:32.920 I reckon put her in next year. 0:23:33.660 --> 0:23:34.300 Next year. 0:23:34.480 --> 0:23:36.780 I reckon don't make a big deal of it and 0:23:36.820 --> 0:23:38.620 then just get her back. Just like when their school 0:23:38.660 --> 0:23:39.790 goes back, like it's just a wreck. 0:23:40.230 --> 0:23:43.649 I'm just like. Or you just do whatever you want 0:23:43.670 --> 0:23:45.740 to do about it. I should have fucking signed her up. 0:23:46.109 --> 0:23:49.700 So many times I've had to talk Oscar back into it. 0:23:50.150 --> 0:23:51.929 And still it's been like two years of jiu-jitsu and 0:23:51.950 --> 0:23:54.750 I'm still doing it. Because I'm like, you would hate it. 0:23:55.490 --> 0:23:57.649 If you got to school tomorrow and Harry went and 0:23:57.710 --> 0:23:59.590 Harry had a great time and you weren't there and 0:23:59.609 --> 0:24:00.530 you would have been like, oh. 0:24:00.550 --> 0:24:01.190 Fucking Harry. 0:24:01.390 --> 0:24:03.510 So you've just got to try. I don't know. I 0:24:03.650 --> 0:24:06.480 think it's a fine line between you being encouraging and 0:24:06.520 --> 0:24:09.060 then forcing. You know what I mean? Because I don't 0:24:09.100 --> 0:24:10.000 want to be like, duck! 0:24:10.400 --> 0:24:12.200 I think it's also a good teaching moment to like 0:24:12.440 --> 0:24:14.320 have a chat with her about the difference between like, 0:24:14.640 --> 0:24:17.709 butterflies in your tummy and being nervous about something and 0:24:17.750 --> 0:24:19.109 being actually physically sick. 0:24:19.210 --> 0:24:22.010 She's probably got influenza A and I'm like, she's just nervous. 0:24:22.090 --> 0:24:28.250 She's like. Are we out of housekeeping? We have a 0:24:28.310 --> 0:24:32.100 new addition to the Wix household that I'm quite excited about, 0:24:32.380 --> 0:24:34.100 which I'm quite excited to share with you. 0:24:34.560 --> 0:24:35.880 It better be something sexy. 0:24:36.040 --> 0:24:37.960 Oh, yeah. This is sexy. 0:24:37.980 --> 0:24:38.800 Like a sex swing. 0:24:38.820 --> 0:24:39.860 April, cover your ears. 0:24:40.300 --> 0:24:42.639 Is it like a sim racing thing? Is it in 0:24:42.680 --> 0:24:43.780 the kitchen? Is it a new benchtop? 0:24:43.800 --> 0:24:44.479 It's in the bedroom. 0:24:45.000 --> 0:24:45.740 New bedroom. 0:24:46.140 --> 0:24:47.399 Is it something for April? 0:24:47.920 --> 0:24:48.510 New curtains. 0:24:48.680 --> 0:24:53.149 No. I have invested in an intimacy pillow. 0:24:53.930 --> 0:24:54.970 What is an intimacy pillow? 0:24:54.990 --> 0:24:57.770 I'm going to show you. I'm glad you asked. He's 0:24:57.790 --> 0:25:00.460 got pictures. I have the manual that comes with it. 0:25:00.869 --> 0:25:02.970 It's called the Jazz Sex Pillow. 0:25:02.990 --> 0:25:05.070 What? It's in between her legs. 0:25:05.490 --> 0:25:08.050 Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's just leaning over. Open that up 0:25:08.090 --> 0:25:08.670 and have a look. 0:25:09.550 --> 0:25:10.550 Where did you find this? 0:25:11.090 --> 0:25:11.470 TikTok. 0:25:13.369 --> 0:25:13.489 Oh. 0:25:13.670 --> 0:25:13.990 Yeah. 0:25:14.609 --> 0:25:16.149 Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I thought Vic was going to 0:25:16.170 --> 0:25:19.490 look at this. Yeah, Vic's like, give me a peek. Vic, 0:25:19.530 --> 0:25:20.310 just settle down. 0:25:20.369 --> 0:25:21.629 Yeah, this is a very emoji episode. 0:25:21.650 --> 0:25:22.220 I'll give you a look. 0:25:22.480 --> 0:25:25.720 Okay, so April and I are in a room. 0:25:25.760 --> 0:25:26.640 This is like porn. 0:25:26.920 --> 0:25:29.060 We're in a very good place, as you can tell. 0:25:29.080 --> 0:25:30.179 Arrogant of you to say that. 0:25:30.200 --> 0:25:34.270 Well, I'm very happy with the place where we're at, 0:25:34.310 --> 0:25:36.570 the communication. Everything is amazing. 0:25:36.590 --> 0:25:40.590 Yeah, you guys are horny little teenagers, you are. 0:25:41.100 --> 0:25:44.929 And anyway, so I was like, what about we invest 0:25:44.970 --> 0:25:48.389 in a little intimacy pillow? So it's a wedge-shaped pillow 0:25:48.670 --> 0:25:51.050 and it can be used to make it more comfortable 0:25:51.150 --> 0:25:54.369 in particular positions, hence the positions that are actually on 0:25:54.430 --> 0:25:56.090 the brochure which I have there. 0:25:56.190 --> 0:25:57.970 Can I ask you two questions? 0:25:58.210 --> 0:25:58.480 Yes. 0:25:58.980 --> 0:26:01.300 First question is how much does this cost? 0:26:01.320 --> 0:26:08.720 None of your business. It was like $ 200. 0:26:06.740 --> 0:26:10.050 But it's just like a normal pillow. It's quite firm. Okay. 0:26:10.070 --> 0:26:11.909 So it's to be able to. 0:26:12.290 --> 0:26:12.930 Does it vibrate? 0:26:13.310 --> 0:26:15.429 No, not this one. 0:26:15.630 --> 0:26:15.970 Okay. 0:26:15.990 --> 0:26:17.919 Let's check it. 0:26:18.550 --> 0:26:19.390 What was your second question? 0:26:20.310 --> 0:26:22.410 Where does the sex pillow normally live? 0:26:22.510 --> 0:26:26.630 Under the bed. Oh. Yeah, I've got like a, it's 0:26:26.970 --> 0:26:29.360 a bed frame, not like an ensemble. 0:26:29.910 --> 0:26:30.859 Have you used? 0:26:31.200 --> 0:26:31.500 I did. Oh. 0:26:32.300 --> 0:26:32.560 Today. 0:26:33.060 --> 0:26:35.300 But we've been here since 10 o'clock. 0:26:35.340 --> 0:26:35.760 Sorry, babe. 0:26:35.820 --> 0:26:37.340 That's why you were late this morning. 0:26:38.619 --> 0:26:41.710 I was 10 minutes late and that was being generous. 0:26:41.770 --> 0:26:46.030 Can you explain for the people who can't see the 0:26:46.070 --> 0:26:47.729 pictures what the pictures are of? 0:26:47.810 --> 0:26:50.609 Okay, so this is the brochure for the jazz sex 0:26:50.730 --> 0:26:54.399 pillow and there's a lady in red lingerie, looks superb 0:26:54.460 --> 0:26:57.960 if I may say so myself, laying tummy on top 0:26:58.000 --> 0:27:00.320 of the sex pillow, bottom firmly in the air. 0:27:01.240 --> 0:27:01.540 Yeah. 0:27:01.760 --> 0:27:04.760 And there's a few sex positions. There's one person laying 0:27:04.800 --> 0:27:05.330 on their back. 0:27:05.350 --> 0:27:07.190 What would you call each one of those sex positions? 0:27:08.600 --> 0:27:11.100 What do you mean? Just at first glance. 0:27:11.119 --> 0:27:17.580 There's the, like, is that one? Like, it really, gosh. 0:27:17.960 --> 0:27:18.680 It's really graphic. 0:27:19.280 --> 0:27:24.030 He's munching on a vagina. Vic, if I give this 0:27:24.050 --> 0:27:24.350 to you. 0:27:24.380 --> 0:27:27.869 We want it back, Vic. Give it here. 0:27:27.880 --> 0:27:29.930 Give mummy a look at him. Give mummy a look. 0:27:30.930 --> 0:27:31.990 Oh, okay. 0:27:32.050 --> 0:27:32.510 Yeah. 0:27:33.050 --> 0:27:33.530 What do you think? 0:27:33.590 --> 0:27:34.950 Munching on the vagina. 0:27:35.190 --> 0:27:36.550 Yeah, he's really getting in there. 0:27:36.609 --> 0:27:39.010 He's nose deep in that. The gin. 0:27:39.470 --> 0:27:40.590 So it's also for the man. 0:27:40.869 --> 0:27:41.290 Yeah. 0:27:41.790 --> 0:27:43.410 So which position did you do this morning? 0:27:43.470 --> 0:27:44.520 None of your business. 0:27:45.619 --> 0:27:46.920 Trust Victoire, someone. 0:27:47.180 --> 0:27:47.560 I know. 0:27:47.940 --> 0:27:49.300 True, I don't need a visual of that. 0:27:49.720 --> 0:27:51.380 Hang on, I do want to know what position though. 0:27:52.119 --> 0:27:52.619 What was it? 0:27:52.640 --> 0:27:53.600 No, I'm not. No, no, no. 0:27:53.660 --> 0:27:54.720 Just tell me. Just give me a clue. 0:27:55.260 --> 0:27:56.580 It wasn't but in the air. Let's put it that way. 0:27:56.900 --> 0:27:57.120 Okay. 0:27:57.460 --> 0:27:59.080 It's hard to tell which is the woman and which 0:27:59.140 --> 0:28:00.119 is the man in some of these. 0:28:00.140 --> 0:28:02.450 I think that's the point. It's like an air of 0:28:02.490 --> 0:28:05.170 mystery around each photo. Would you recommend the pillow? 0:28:05.680 --> 0:28:07.510 I've used it once and, yes, I would. I would 0:28:07.550 --> 0:28:08.109 highly recommend it. 0:28:08.109 --> 0:28:08.990 It improved the experience. 0:28:09.070 --> 0:28:12.229 It definitely does, yeah. It also provides much-needed support for 0:28:12.290 --> 0:28:16.510 us mid-30-year-olds who get bad backs. We've got bad backs. 0:28:16.550 --> 0:28:20.080 But the solution to that is it provides a much 0:28:20.210 --> 0:28:23.980 higher surface as opposed to just the level bed. 0:28:24.000 --> 0:28:26.480 Yeah, it puts it on an angle. 0:28:26.720 --> 0:28:28.060 Yeah, some great positions. 0:28:28.080 --> 0:28:30.420 Well, I can think of only benefits from that. 0:28:30.580 --> 0:28:31.830 Yeah, I thought you'd be really into that. 0:28:32.170 --> 0:28:33.790 No, I think it's great. I'm proud of you. 0:28:33.910 --> 0:28:34.330 Thank you. 0:28:34.350 --> 0:28:37.870 I want to know, though, like at what point does 0:28:37.910 --> 0:28:40.060 the pillow come out? Does it come out like as 0:28:40.100 --> 0:28:41.460 you're about to need it? 0:28:41.900 --> 0:28:46.400 It's out before I am. I don't know. Like I said, 0:28:46.660 --> 0:28:49.350 it was only used once so far, and it was 0:28:49.380 --> 0:28:51.090 sort of like we should try the pillow. 0:28:51.530 --> 0:28:54.310 And does April like the pillow? So everyone's enjoying the pillow. 0:28:54.330 --> 0:28:55.270 Everyone's enjoying the pillow. 0:28:55.880 --> 0:28:56.920 The $ 200 pillow. 0:28:57.020 --> 0:28:58.620 You fucking hope so they're enjoying it. 0:28:58.790 --> 0:28:59.400 Worth it. 0:28:59.420 --> 0:29:00.230 With that price tag. 0:29:00.250 --> 0:29:02.090 Because I thought worst case scenario is it could just 0:29:02.110 --> 0:29:03.210 be a nice little back wedge. 0:29:03.850 --> 0:29:04.370 To read on. 0:29:04.410 --> 0:29:04.950 To read on. 0:29:05.030 --> 0:29:05.290 Yeah. 0:29:05.650 --> 0:29:08.370 I'm intrigued that that was $ 200. Yeah, they really. 0:29:07.870 --> 0:29:09.720 Got me bent over a. 0:29:10.050 --> 0:29:10.530 Sex pillow. 0:29:10.570 --> 0:29:15.760 But, okay, so a couple of months ago I said 0:29:15.800 --> 0:29:18.600 to April, I was like, hey, because I'd seen it, 0:29:18.760 --> 0:29:22.620 my algorithm knows what my brain's thinking, and I was like... 0:29:22.920 --> 0:29:24.620 What are your thoughts on that? She's like, actually, yeah. 0:29:24.860 --> 0:29:26.080 And then we just made it happen. 0:29:26.580 --> 0:29:29.900 Do you think young kids are doing sex pillows? Like 0:29:29.920 --> 0:29:30.810 is this an old person thing? 0:29:30.810 --> 0:29:31.910 It's an old person thing for sure. 0:29:31.910 --> 0:29:33.350 It's like, you know, when you get to a certain 0:29:33.350 --> 0:29:34.770 age and you have to have like a badass, a rail. 0:29:34.790 --> 0:29:37.170 You have to put a rail in your house. Yeah. 0:29:37.190 --> 0:29:38.400 Like to get up off the toilet, you have to 0:29:38.440 --> 0:29:40.420 have like a handrail to hoist you up. 0:29:40.820 --> 0:29:41.500 The stair lift. 0:29:41.560 --> 0:29:43.080 It's like, yeah. 0:29:43.200 --> 0:29:44.180 It's the start. 0:29:44.200 --> 0:29:45.520 That's when you know you're on the path of becoming 0:29:45.540 --> 0:29:49.480 a geriatric when you're like sex pillow, also put handrails 0:29:49.520 --> 0:29:50.620 on the walls to like get off of. 0:29:50.620 --> 0:29:52.239 We have to get the occupational therapist in. 0:29:52.380 --> 0:29:53.290 Yeah. 0:29:53.410 --> 0:29:56.350 It's just like, you don't have any ramps at your entrances. 0:29:56.470 --> 0:29:59.219 It's like, oh God, sorry. We do need ramps. And 0:29:59.280 --> 0:30:01.200 also one of those electric things up to the bedroom. 0:30:01.220 --> 0:30:04.040 It's like, come here, Mel. Come here, Mel, and lie 0:30:04.060 --> 0:30:04.940 on this sex pillow. 0:30:05.060 --> 0:30:05.900 Good on the two of you. 0:30:06.060 --> 0:30:06.360 Thank you. 0:30:06.740 --> 0:30:08.940 I'm going to dip back into housekeeping for a sec. 0:30:09.100 --> 0:30:09.360 Hey-o. 0:30:09.380 --> 0:30:11.380 Whoa, we're going back. Take that, Emma. 0:30:11.680 --> 0:30:14.660 What I'm proposing, okay, is something that I think will 0:30:14.700 --> 0:30:18.420 benefit not just kids but families all across the country. 0:30:18.760 --> 0:30:19.620 Everyone gets a sex pillow. 0:30:20.040 --> 0:30:22.140 Everyone has a sex pillow, and we all have sex 0:30:22.180 --> 0:30:22.980 on a Tuesday. 0:30:23.520 --> 0:30:23.820 Morning. 0:30:24.220 --> 0:30:30.070 Hey. So we are in a cycle now of never-ending nits. Oh, yeah. 0:30:30.470 --> 0:30:32.670 And the issue is, Ash, issue is. 0:30:32.830 --> 0:30:33.290 Both kids? 0:30:33.810 --> 0:30:37.620 Both kids. Both kids. Issue is our kids are doing 0:30:37.640 --> 0:30:39.560 the knit treatment. None of the other kids are doing 0:30:39.580 --> 0:30:41.700 their knit treatments. So then we're just sending them back 0:30:41.900 --> 0:30:44.160 in to get reinvested with the knits. 0:30:44.760 --> 0:30:46.770 To be ambushed by the knit people. 0:30:46.980 --> 0:30:51.510 Right? So it's absolutely pointless now because- unless everyone gets 0:30:51.530 --> 0:30:54.410 on the same page we all treat together we're never 0:30:54.430 --> 0:30:56.030 going to beat the knits the knits are winning right 0:30:56.050 --> 0:30:58.630 now as a school you say treat together as a 0:30:58.670 --> 0:31:01.530 school or a class let's just we'll start small so 0:31:01.590 --> 0:31:04.170 laura was like i cannot do another knit treatment she's 0:31:04.190 --> 0:31:06.110 like i'm i'm done i'm out i've had. 0:31:06.060 --> 0:31:08.700 Enough fair it's not it's not fun. 0:31:08.600 --> 0:31:10.300 We're doing it like every two weeks and so i 0:31:10.300 --> 0:31:11.959 was like how do we do this and she's like 0:31:12.100 --> 0:31:15.040 i'm going to message the school WhatsApp chat and say, 0:31:15.240 --> 0:31:19.170 everyone together collectively, let's stand united. Let's all get together 0:31:19.250 --> 0:31:21.760 on the one day and all do treatments together. 0:31:22.340 --> 0:31:23.560 I think that's genius. 0:31:23.760 --> 0:31:25.040 I think it's a good idea but there's going to 0:31:25.060 --> 0:31:25.580 be pushback. 0:31:25.740 --> 0:31:26.660 No, there was no pushback. 0:31:26.820 --> 0:31:28.540 Wow. Well, then we're all thinking it. Then why are 0:31:28.560 --> 0:31:29.440 we just not doing it? 0:31:29.500 --> 0:31:31.840 I think we're too scared to put it out there. 0:31:31.860 --> 0:31:32.400 To be judged. 0:31:32.560 --> 0:31:37.140 To be judged. And everyone was like, here, here, yes, Laura. Like, Laura, Laura. 0:31:37.160 --> 0:31:37.960 And you're like, damn it. 0:31:37.960 --> 0:31:39.660 Yeah, I was like, oh. Because one of the kids 0:31:39.700 --> 0:31:42.140 at school, he was itching his head and the teacher 0:31:42.160 --> 0:31:45.490 was like, you there, Timmy, get to the side and 0:31:45.610 --> 0:31:46.250 separated him. 0:31:46.350 --> 0:31:47.650 Segregated him. Yeah. 0:31:48.010 --> 0:31:48.870 I know. 0:31:48.890 --> 0:31:49.890 Shave your head later, Timmy. 0:31:50.030 --> 0:31:50.190 I know. 0:31:50.210 --> 0:31:52.240 And so then Marley was going. I'm too scared to 0:31:52.260 --> 0:31:54.719 scratch my head because then I'll get put aside. I'll 0:31:54.740 --> 0:31:56.740 be outcast like someone with a black plague. 0:31:56.760 --> 0:31:58.850 I don't want to be out there with Timmy. 0:31:58.890 --> 0:32:02.550 He stinks. And so everyone together now. 0:32:03.290 --> 0:32:05.950 Everyone, come on. Together now. Together. 0:32:05.970 --> 0:32:07.660 We've all done it at once. 0:32:08.240 --> 0:32:08.400 And? 0:32:08.780 --> 0:32:09.900 Well, it's just happened. 0:32:10.440 --> 0:32:12.700 Okay, so the day in question has happened. 0:32:12.720 --> 0:32:14.730 So the Sunday night when we were staying down at 0:32:14.770 --> 0:32:18.950 Ulladulla for the photo shoot, I missed the knit treatment. 0:32:19.110 --> 0:32:19.810 That's a win. 0:32:19.830 --> 0:32:21.070 Oh, it was so good. I called Laura. I was like, 0:32:21.090 --> 0:32:23.130 how's it going, babe? She was like, fucking knit, you fucking, 0:32:23.690 --> 0:32:28.200 you fucking, I'm coming in, fucking, I'm coming in. They're like, mummy, no. 0:32:28.540 --> 0:32:31.040 My hair feels itchy now. 0:32:31.420 --> 0:32:34.080 Me too, me too. I just remember as a kid, 0:32:34.180 --> 0:32:37.100 because boys it's much easier. It's really tough with girls 0:32:37.120 --> 0:32:39.670 because you can't just shave a girl's head. Like some 0:32:39.690 --> 0:32:41.830 people do. Think of Lily. 0:32:42.310 --> 0:32:43.170 She's got ringlets. 0:32:43.450 --> 0:32:43.820 Yeah. 0:32:44.040 --> 0:32:45.040 Is that good or bad for knits? 0:32:46.000 --> 0:32:46.440 I don't know. 0:32:46.480 --> 0:32:48.700 But if she gets knits, I don't know what. 0:32:48.640 --> 0:32:48.920 I would do. 0:32:48.920 --> 0:32:50.100 Oh, because you can't comb that stuff. 0:32:50.260 --> 0:32:51.500 Oh, yeah. The knits get dizzy. 0:32:51.520 --> 0:32:54.810 Like a roller coaster. 0:32:54.830 --> 0:32:56.700 And when they catch up, when the knits all catch up, 0:32:56.730 --> 0:32:58.290 you go, where are you on one of those curly 0:32:58.310 --> 0:33:00.250 people's heads? You're like, I've got a straight hair. 0:33:00.630 --> 0:33:01.610 I've got a straight hair. 0:33:01.690 --> 0:33:05.010 I'm living my life over here. Leah, I remember I 0:33:05.050 --> 0:33:07.730 would just get my head shaved, but it's always been 0:33:07.770 --> 0:33:11.150 a nightmare for girls because obviously the hair can be out. 0:33:11.710 --> 0:33:13.590 I'm waiting for Maisie to go to school next year. 0:33:13.610 --> 0:33:15.030 Sure, she'll get got. 0:33:15.310 --> 0:33:16.150 Yeah, she'll get got. 0:33:16.390 --> 0:33:17.610 You know what you should tell Laura? 0:33:17.630 --> 0:33:20.360 There's actually businesses that will come to your house and 0:33:20.390 --> 0:33:22.180 help you get the nits out of your kid's hair 0:33:22.300 --> 0:33:23.620 and your hair if it's in there too. 0:33:24.230 --> 0:33:24.550 Who? 0:33:24.770 --> 0:33:26.530 Yeah, they're called like the knit lady or something. 0:33:26.570 --> 0:33:28.530 The knit lady? Why would you subject yourself to that? 0:33:28.570 --> 0:33:30.430 It's like Etsy, like it's probably $ 100 a head. Fuck, 0:33:30.560 --> 0:33:33.640 that's a lot of money. But they will get all 0:33:33.680 --> 0:33:35.780 the knits and the eggs out of your hair. 0:33:35.820 --> 0:33:38.920 Like if I got knits in my hair, there's no 0:33:38.980 --> 0:33:40.340 way Dan would help me get them out. 0:33:40.380 --> 0:33:41.940 I'd have to figure that shit out by myself. 0:33:42.540 --> 0:33:43.140 And your hair? 0:33:43.260 --> 0:33:44.610 Yeah. Come on, Dan. 0:33:44.680 --> 0:33:46.400 He has like a little look. He's like, no. 0:33:46.460 --> 0:33:47.180 He's like, yeah, good. 0:33:47.220 --> 0:33:51.140 He's like, I got the drill. I can help you? 0:33:51.360 --> 0:33:51.479 Yeah. 0:33:51.500 --> 0:33:52.000 I'm not looking for it. 0:33:52.000 --> 0:33:53.820 What kills me is having to fucking wash all the shit. 0:33:53.940 --> 0:33:55.080 I can't stop swearing, guys. 0:33:55.140 --> 0:33:55.870 Don't worry about it. 0:33:55.900 --> 0:33:56.520 I can't stop. 0:33:56.680 --> 0:33:58.850 That man in there has really done a number on you. 0:33:59.070 --> 0:33:59.510 I know. 0:34:00.050 --> 0:34:00.630 Fuck that guy. 0:34:01.130 --> 0:34:02.630 Fuck you. Him, not you. 0:34:02.650 --> 0:34:03.290 I was going to say. 0:34:03.370 --> 0:34:04.110 I was going to say. 0:34:04.130 --> 0:34:05.590 You're turning on me. Here we go. 0:34:05.630 --> 0:34:07.010 The knit nurse. Sydney wide. 0:34:07.370 --> 0:34:08.330 Here we go. Knit nurse. 0:34:08.370 --> 0:34:09.710 Professional head lice treatments. 0:34:10.130 --> 0:34:11.200 Do you want her in your house? 0:34:11.219 --> 0:34:13.379 She must hate kids. She's like, yeah, a little shit's coming. 0:34:13.400 --> 0:34:14.620 She's like a bunch of trunchbull. 0:34:14.840 --> 0:34:15.680 Ripping their hair out. 0:34:16.040 --> 0:34:19.380 Yeah. Honestly, it's a niche business idea, which congratulations for 0:34:19.420 --> 0:34:20.400 thinking outside the box. 0:34:20.460 --> 0:34:24.439 The knit fairy, no knits, the nice, the lice lady. Yeah, 0:34:24.480 --> 0:34:24.819 there's heaps. 0:34:24.840 --> 0:34:25.720 The lice lady. 0:34:25.780 --> 0:34:26.460 The lice lady. 0:34:26.540 --> 0:34:27.419 What will we call ours? 0:34:28.239 --> 0:34:28.660 Knitwits. 0:34:29.100 --> 0:34:30.840 There she is. That's where we pay you the big bucks. 0:34:34.410 --> 0:34:36.710 Hey, I just have one more thing to talk to 0:34:36.730 --> 0:34:37.069 you about. 0:34:37.310 --> 0:34:39.830 Please. I can't stop thinking about you and April having sex. 0:34:40.050 --> 0:34:40.290 Well. 0:34:41.610 --> 0:34:43.870 And April, I mean that in the most respectable way possible. 0:34:44.670 --> 0:34:46.129 Don't you dare picture my wife like that. 0:34:46.190 --> 0:34:46.890 I'm trying not to. 0:34:46.950 --> 0:34:48.830 I said your photo lady went after you. No, I'm 0:34:48.850 --> 0:34:50.410 just kidding. Sorry, babe. 0:34:50.450 --> 0:34:51.910 We're joking. That was a joke. 0:34:52.570 --> 0:34:55.129 Look, I'm not calling me a hero, but some people 0:34:55.230 --> 0:34:59.489 are on the beaches. You know how much we talk 0:34:59.530 --> 0:35:02.569 about car parks and parental parking. Quite a lot. 0:35:02.820 --> 0:35:05.520 And almost as much as semen and shit. 0:35:05.900 --> 0:35:07.480 It goes semen, shit. 0:35:07.960 --> 0:35:08.400 Car parks. 0:35:08.640 --> 0:35:10.080 Yeah. And then nits. 0:35:10.420 --> 0:35:10.779 And then nits. 0:35:10.820 --> 0:35:11.680 Nits are getting up there. 0:35:12.320 --> 0:35:13.620 Sex pillows soon to be included. 0:35:13.640 --> 0:35:16.930 Vulgarity. Take it off. Oh, my God. 0:35:17.090 --> 0:35:17.190 Okay. 0:35:17.210 --> 0:35:18.890 I was trying to do it for the doters, okay? 0:35:18.950 --> 0:35:20.220 I was trying to get the best out of you. 0:35:20.230 --> 0:35:21.989 That's the easiest excuse in the book. 0:35:22.010 --> 0:35:23.649 Do you regret coming on that photo shoot? 0:35:24.150 --> 0:35:28.930 No, I loved it. I bet you did. It was fun. 0:35:28.989 --> 0:35:31.270 It was exhausting, but it was really fun. 0:35:31.310 --> 0:35:32.230 Okay. 0:35:32.250 --> 0:35:35.590 And I like to think that I put my mother's 0:35:36.140 --> 0:35:39.899 wife's female intuition into the calendar in terms of some 0:35:39.920 --> 0:35:40.580 of the poses. 0:35:41.190 --> 0:35:41.810 Okay, all right. 0:35:42.010 --> 0:35:43.470 Ash is bent up like a pretzel. 0:35:43.950 --> 0:35:45.529 I was just like, yeah, got my legs over my head. 0:35:45.550 --> 0:35:48.790 I'm like, what's this one for? You're like, shut up. 0:35:48.810 --> 0:35:50.049 Someone pour some more water on him. 0:35:50.410 --> 0:35:52.500 Well, you guys think you know what chore play is, 0:35:52.540 --> 0:35:54.500 but I was like, here's what I would actually love 0:35:54.860 --> 0:35:55.280 to see. 0:35:55.440 --> 0:35:57.580 More water. Make him shit himself. 0:35:59.219 --> 0:35:59.560 Touch him. 0:35:59.880 --> 0:36:00.160 Okay. 0:36:00.520 --> 0:36:01.680 So people are calling me a hero. 0:36:03.040 --> 0:36:03.300 Sorry. 0:36:03.719 --> 0:36:05.810 No one has. I'm calling myself a hero. But I 0:36:05.890 --> 0:36:08.730 went to the shops solo. I went, I took April's car. 0:36:08.870 --> 0:36:09.410 Must be nice. 0:36:09.610 --> 0:36:09.710 Yeah. 0:36:10.160 --> 0:36:13.799 Parked the car not near the pram parking because they 0:36:13.820 --> 0:36:15.580 were full and I didn't have a pram and I'd 0:36:15.600 --> 0:36:18.360 do the right thing. And so I parked a few 0:36:18.500 --> 0:36:21.069 rows back, pull up, get out of the car, go 0:36:21.090 --> 0:36:22.450 to shops. There's a car in front of me parked 0:36:22.489 --> 0:36:23.910 in front. So it's one of those ones where it's 0:36:23.930 --> 0:36:27.049 like front to back. I went to the back of 0:36:27.090 --> 0:36:30.489 this car, went to the shops, came back, same car 0:36:30.530 --> 0:36:34.000 was there, but I noticed the car was closer to mine. 0:36:34.500 --> 0:36:36.960 It had rolled closer to mine and I thought, what's 0:36:37.000 --> 0:36:39.180 happened here? So I'm going to show you just what 0:36:39.239 --> 0:36:40.600 I came to and then I'm going to give you 0:36:40.620 --> 0:36:41.600 a bit more of an explanation. 0:36:41.640 --> 0:36:43.800 This is what you walk back to see. 0:36:44.219 --> 0:36:44.399 Yes. 0:36:44.500 --> 0:36:45.910 Visually, this is what you're confronted with. 0:36:45.930 --> 0:36:48.870 Visually, this is what I was confronted with. All right. 0:36:48.989 --> 0:36:50.589 I'll get you to press play. You don't need sound. 0:36:50.610 --> 0:36:52.830 Get you to play and just tell the doters what 0:36:52.930 --> 0:36:54.250 it is you're looking at. Okay. 0:36:54.290 --> 0:36:55.810 This is underground car park. 0:36:55.830 --> 0:36:57.360 It's above ground. 0:36:57.660 --> 0:37:00.239 I apologize. Oh, my days. 0:37:00.260 --> 0:37:00.560 Oh. 0:37:01.520 --> 0:37:05.259 This big bopper BMW has got its butt well over 0:37:05.280 --> 0:37:08.800 the white line of the car space perimeter and it 0:37:08.820 --> 0:37:09.840 has a little tow bar. 0:37:10.219 --> 0:37:10.779 Yeah. 0:37:10.820 --> 0:37:13.640 Tow bar is in your car? These cars are fucking. 0:37:13.739 --> 0:37:15.790 It's a human centipede of vehicles. 0:37:15.810 --> 0:37:18.310 The car is Empty Dash's car. The car's on a 0:37:18.350 --> 0:37:18.910 sex pillow. 0:37:18.930 --> 0:37:21.830 Yeah. You can't tell where my car starts and their 0:37:21.870 --> 0:37:22.410 car ends. 0:37:22.570 --> 0:37:22.930 Yeah. 0:37:23.150 --> 0:37:23.410 Yeah. 0:37:23.510 --> 0:37:23.989 What did you do? 0:37:24.010 --> 0:37:26.490 So that's the car that was there when I parked, 0:37:26.810 --> 0:37:30.210 but it wasn't that close. Anyway, so I went in 0:37:30.230 --> 0:37:35.230 to investigate. I went to investigate. I could see through 0:37:35.270 --> 0:37:37.610 the window. No one was in the car, but I 0:37:37.630 --> 0:37:39.970 could see that the dash lights were still on. And 0:37:39.989 --> 0:37:41.910 I was like, that's weird. And then I was like 0:37:41.930 --> 0:37:44.469 a little bit closer. I noticed there was a newborn 0:37:44.570 --> 0:37:47.370 baby seat in this car. So this is what I 0:37:47.450 --> 0:37:48.650 think is what has happened. 0:37:49.030 --> 0:37:49.410 Yeah. 0:37:49.489 --> 0:37:52.880 Bear with me. I have no evidence of this. It's 0:37:52.950 --> 0:37:54.439 just pure hearsay. 0:37:54.660 --> 0:37:55.680 This is like case file now. 0:37:55.700 --> 0:37:56.920 This is case file. However. 0:37:59.230 --> 0:38:01.150 You got me on the edge of my seat. 0:38:01.170 --> 0:38:03.469 I can't find a killer for this one. So I 0:38:03.610 --> 0:38:05.489 went to investigate, saw the dash lights were on. 0:38:05.760 --> 0:38:06.200 Baby seat? 0:38:06.219 --> 0:38:08.420 Saw there was a baby seat facing backwards. So it's fresh. 0:38:08.739 --> 0:38:08.939 Yeah. 0:38:09.040 --> 0:38:11.620 Okay. And I was like, oh, what I think has 0:38:11.660 --> 0:38:15.080 happened here is they were no pram spots. They've gone 0:38:15.160 --> 0:38:17.680 to a regular park. No problems with that. But they've 0:38:18.000 --> 0:38:21.360 pressed the car off, been distracted by having a newborn baby, 0:38:21.400 --> 0:38:22.520 maybe a bit overwhelmed. 0:38:22.560 --> 0:38:23.489 Yeah, tired, I'm sure. 0:38:23.739 --> 0:38:26.750 Tired. Then they've pressed the button one too many times 0:38:26.810 --> 0:38:29.950 and not actually put the handbrake on their vehicle. And 0:38:29.989 --> 0:38:32.069 it's rolled and stopped into mine because I have another 0:38:32.110 --> 0:38:35.700 video of me moving the car, moving my car, and 0:38:35.719 --> 0:38:38.520 you can see that it rolls back a tiny bit 0:38:38.560 --> 0:38:41.580 and gets stuck. At first I thought, what's this fucker doing? 0:38:42.380 --> 0:38:44.440 That's my first thought. What the fuck is this fucker doing? 0:38:44.719 --> 0:38:47.899 Then I've realised that this could be a brand new 0:38:47.980 --> 0:38:52.860 parent who's got lack of sleep, lack of oxygen, everything. 0:38:52.920 --> 0:38:55.360 They've gotten out. They've got to go to the shops. 0:38:55.690 --> 0:38:58.489 We need shopping. So I open the car door, put 0:38:58.510 --> 0:39:00.189 the handbrake on, shut the door. 0:39:00.270 --> 0:39:03.089 And someone's like, you're still in my car. I did 0:39:03.130 --> 0:39:03.350 look around. 0:39:03.650 --> 0:39:04.370 I did look suspicious. 0:39:04.390 --> 0:39:06.089 The next thing, Ash is arrested. 0:39:06.290 --> 0:39:10.320 Yeah. Well, their car was still in my car. So technically- 0:39:10.739 --> 0:39:12.560 Your car has entered my vehicle. 0:39:12.680 --> 0:39:15.120 Which technically means it's now my car. 0:39:15.180 --> 0:39:18.379 So now I own both cars. Anyway, so I was like, oh, fuck. 0:39:18.460 --> 0:39:19.640 And then I was like, oh. 0:39:19.660 --> 0:39:21.650 So you've opened the door and put the handbrake on. 0:39:21.670 --> 0:39:21.990 Yeah. 0:39:22.150 --> 0:39:23.770 And I was like looking for a pad to leave 0:39:23.810 --> 0:39:26.250 a note, to be not an aggressive note. Because I 0:39:26.270 --> 0:39:28.910 thought at this point, what would I, as a new parent, 0:39:28.930 --> 0:39:30.150 the last thing I need is someone being like, do 0:39:30.170 --> 0:39:31.790 you know how to fucking drive? It's like, bro, I'm 0:39:31.810 --> 0:39:32.710 just trying to stay awake. 0:39:33.070 --> 0:39:33.340 Okay. 0:39:33.380 --> 0:39:35.589 I'm trying to keep this child alive, but then I 0:39:35.660 --> 0:39:38.660 look back behind my car. So there's another row of cars. 0:39:39.180 --> 0:39:42.239 And when I have rolled back and saw the car 0:39:42.320 --> 0:39:44.960 starting to roll, I stopped so that it stopped. If 0:39:45.020 --> 0:39:49.230 my car wasn't there, It would have gained momentum and 0:39:49.350 --> 0:39:53.359 rolled back into a quarter of a million dollar Mercedes 0:39:53.680 --> 0:39:56.540 AMG bonnet right behind me and it would have been 0:39:56.560 --> 0:39:58.880 like 20 metres. And think about that. 0:39:59.260 --> 0:40:02.100 Also, it's not uncommon for young kids to be walking 0:40:02.120 --> 0:40:04.310 through the car park. It could have taken out a child. 0:40:04.690 --> 0:40:05.370 You are. 0:40:05.390 --> 0:40:06.790 An everyday hero. 0:40:07.250 --> 0:40:08.450 The Batman of Worrywood. 0:40:08.510 --> 0:40:10.450 That's what I'm looking for. I don't do it for 0:40:10.469 --> 0:40:12.170 the awards or the praise, but I do like it. 0:40:12.700 --> 0:40:17.180 If you're in the Northern Beaches and you're worried about crime, 0:40:17.320 --> 0:40:20.280 don't be because Ash is there. Ash wicks. 0:40:20.340 --> 0:40:21.270 Would you call this a crime? 0:40:22.090 --> 0:40:22.490 Almost. 0:40:22.510 --> 0:40:23.230 If you need a hand. 0:40:23.370 --> 0:40:24.489 Yeah. 0:40:24.650 --> 0:40:25.190 Misdemeanor. 0:40:25.210 --> 0:40:27.490 There is no such thing as a dangerous car park 0:40:27.610 --> 0:40:30.410 in the Northern Beaches because you're keeping them safe. 0:40:30.530 --> 0:40:33.200 I wonder if they listened. They listened to the pod 0:40:33.400 --> 0:40:34.279 because they've got a kid. 0:40:34.660 --> 0:40:35.540 I would, please. 0:40:35.860 --> 0:40:39.060 Would they even know though? They'd be so sleep deprived. 0:40:39.080 --> 0:40:41.580 Yeah, that's what I thought. And I thought I could 0:40:41.600 --> 0:40:43.540 do the thing and be like, hey, you need to 0:40:43.560 --> 0:40:44.990 make sure you fucking sort your life out. 0:40:45.010 --> 0:40:47.910 April's like, where the fuck is Ash? He's been gone 0:40:47.950 --> 0:40:50.450 for four hours. He's gone to get newspaper and some milk. 0:40:50.730 --> 0:40:52.410 I was just pondering what to do. I looked for 0:40:52.430 --> 0:40:53.770 a pen there because I wanted to just let them 0:40:53.810 --> 0:40:55.069 know that I'm a good guy. 0:40:55.210 --> 0:40:55.810 You're a good guy. 0:40:55.950 --> 0:40:56.589 And so did you? 0:40:56.930 --> 0:40:58.390 I couldn't find a pen or anything. I just took off. 0:40:58.630 --> 0:41:00.160 But they would have got back to the car and 0:41:00.180 --> 0:41:02.580 seen that it had rolled quite far back. My car was. 0:41:02.840 --> 0:41:04.200 I would hate for them to come back and see 0:41:04.239 --> 0:41:06.330 that before I got there because there's no damage to 0:41:06.370 --> 0:41:08.509 my car, as I showed you, and it was. 0:41:08.950 --> 0:41:11.450 They're probably going to get back so confused. 0:41:11.590 --> 0:41:12.090 Yeah. 0:41:12.750 --> 0:41:15.390 They probably think someone's tried to break into the car. 0:41:15.410 --> 0:41:18.029 Yeah, but their dash was still on and everything. They'd 0:41:18.050 --> 0:41:19.640 be like, oh, I think I might have. Because you 0:41:19.660 --> 0:41:22.279 know how push-button cars these days, you press it, you're like, 0:41:22.300 --> 0:41:23.360 is the car off? 0:41:23.460 --> 0:41:24.640 Yeah, who knows? 0:41:24.820 --> 0:41:26.500 Sometimes I get out of the car and April's like, 0:41:26.520 --> 0:41:27.759 do you want to put it in the park? And 0:41:27.780 --> 0:41:28.299 I'm like, oh. 0:41:28.800 --> 0:41:31.780 I know, I always forget, especially when I'm sleep deprived. 0:41:32.070 --> 0:41:32.300 Yeah. 0:41:32.850 --> 0:41:36.290 Back when we had the like the handbrake. Give us 0:41:36.330 --> 0:41:39.690 some more of those. That would never have happened. 0:41:39.930 --> 0:41:42.509 Because you can see it's when it's on and when 0:41:42.550 --> 0:41:42.989 it's not. 0:41:43.090 --> 0:41:43.989 And you can feel it. 0:41:44.030 --> 0:41:46.810 You can feel it. You can feel it. It's got girthy. 0:41:47.550 --> 0:41:48.910 It's quite girthy, that handbrake. 0:41:48.930 --> 0:41:50.740 It's the downside of the future. 0:41:51.200 --> 0:41:51.500 It is. 0:41:51.540 --> 0:41:53.360 We don't know when the handbrake's on or off or 0:41:53.380 --> 0:41:54.339 when the car is on or off. 0:41:54.500 --> 0:41:55.640 I said to my mechanic, I'm like, can you turn 0:41:55.660 --> 0:41:57.360 all the beeps off? He's like, do you know how 0:41:57.380 --> 0:41:59.279 many people ask us to turn all the beeps off? 0:41:59.640 --> 0:42:01.440 Because I was telling Vic about the lane indicator. 0:42:01.480 --> 0:42:02.979 I think that's why Vic got sick in my car 0:42:03.000 --> 0:42:03.460 because it was like. 0:42:03.760 --> 0:42:11.080 The lane indicator is actually so dangerous. So like if 0:42:11.219 --> 0:42:13.820 I'm like, all right, I'm going to move over a 0:42:13.930 --> 0:42:15.810 little bit. I'm overtaking a truck on a freeway at 0:42:15.810 --> 0:42:17.130 100 k's an hour. I'm going to move over a 0:42:17.250 --> 0:42:19.190 little bit because it's not very pleasant for the passenger 0:42:19.210 --> 0:42:21.310 to have to go up against the truck. And then 0:42:21.330 --> 0:42:25.780 I edge, edge. over the outside line, it literally corrects 0:42:25.820 --> 0:42:28.180 the car towards the truck. I think it's so dangerous. 0:42:28.260 --> 0:42:34.279 So be careful out there, guys. And you're welcome. 0:42:34.300 --> 0:42:36.050 Be careful in the car parks. Be careful on the road. 0:42:36.360 --> 0:42:38.170 Be careful everywhere there's a car. 0:42:38.530 --> 0:42:40.609 I'm always watching. I'm always looking out over you. 0:42:41.170 --> 0:42:42.989 Like Batman. And we're out of housekeeping now. 0:42:43.469 --> 0:42:44.310 And that's the end of the episode. 0:42:45.510 --> 0:42:45.930 Literally. 0:42:46.730 --> 0:42:47.910 What have you got? Have you got anything else? 0:42:48.270 --> 0:42:50.140 Do you know what I think would mean that we 0:42:50.200 --> 0:42:52.720 don't have dangerous car parks with non-tired parents? 0:42:52.960 --> 0:42:53.339 Go for it. 0:42:53.880 --> 0:42:56.900 If both parents were taking paid parental leave at the 0:42:56.980 --> 0:42:58.160 same time. 0:42:58.239 --> 0:42:59.010 And enough of it. 0:42:59.480 --> 0:43:02.800 And I think that would save us from these near-death 0:43:02.820 --> 0:43:04.900 experiences in shopping centres. 0:43:04.940 --> 0:43:07.680 Good news, Matt. There's a petition that our listeners can 0:43:07.739 --> 0:43:11.360 sign with the Parenthood in Movember about more help at 0:43:11.440 --> 0:43:13.819 home in the early days of parenthood. 0:43:14.110 --> 0:43:16.830 Giving parents more time in one of the most important 0:43:16.870 --> 0:43:18.989 moments of their life, the first 12 months. 0:43:19.110 --> 0:43:21.969 Yeah, and I think leading into having your first kid, 0:43:22.010 --> 0:43:24.240 there is a lot of talk with yourself, your employer, 0:43:24.300 --> 0:43:26.620 and all this sort of stuff about logistically taking time off. 0:43:26.760 --> 0:43:28.560 Wouldn't it be nice to just take the time off 0:43:28.600 --> 0:43:30.299 without all the rigmarole? 0:43:30.640 --> 0:43:32.000 Yeah, rigmarole. 0:43:32.020 --> 0:43:34.160 Of the corporate ladder. You can't climb the ladder with 0:43:34.180 --> 0:43:35.160 your hands in your pockets, Matt. 0:43:35.480 --> 0:43:35.819 There is. 0:43:35.840 --> 0:43:37.439 Can you put that on a T-shirt? That'd be great. 0:43:37.900 --> 0:43:39.800 I think when we're next in Canberra at Parliament House, 0:43:40.520 --> 0:43:43.300 you should be like, I almost died in a car park. 0:43:43.320 --> 0:43:43.380 Ha! 0:43:44.910 --> 0:43:46.050 It's saving lives. 0:43:46.110 --> 0:43:47.930 Yeah, we're trying to save lives here. 0:43:48.310 --> 0:43:52.700 I'll be like, ladies and gentlemen of the House, the Senate, whatever. Oh, fuck, 0:43:52.719 --> 0:43:53.700 I don't know anything about politics. 0:43:53.719 --> 0:43:56.560 Look at this video here. My car was fucked by 0:43:56.580 --> 0:43:57.220 another car. 0:43:57.440 --> 0:43:59.040 Let me tell you a time. Have you guys ever 0:43:59.340 --> 0:44:01.480 seen The Human Centipede? 0:44:01.560 --> 0:44:02.360 Car centipede. 0:44:02.520 --> 0:44:05.310 Well, I pretty much lived that movie. 0:44:06.370 --> 0:44:07.350 It's hard for me to talk about. 0:44:07.370 --> 0:44:09.089 You need to pass this legislation. 0:44:09.900 --> 0:44:11.600 It's hard for me to talk about. Otherwise the cars 0:44:11.620 --> 0:44:13.500 will all be fucking each other in every car park. 0:44:14.080 --> 0:44:14.720 I can't. 0:44:14.739 --> 0:44:16.279 Before we know it, the cars are after us. 0:44:16.580 --> 0:44:21.739 I can't control. I can't watch every car being fucked 0:44:21.780 --> 0:44:24.000 by other cars. Okay. 0:44:25.489 --> 0:44:26.090 I wish I could. 0:44:27.110 --> 0:44:29.370 I wish I could because honestly, I'd be into that. 0:44:30.390 --> 0:44:32.989 If you've got a video of your car fucking another car. 0:44:33.370 --> 0:44:36.690 Send it to us. If it's a pile. 0:44:38.190 --> 0:44:38.270 Up. 0:44:38.290 --> 0:44:39.370 Vic's like, make sure they're wet. 0:44:41.160 --> 0:44:42.900 If it's a pileup on a rainy day. 0:44:42.980 --> 0:44:46.480 If it's a pileup on a rainy day. Lots of suds. 0:44:47.000 --> 0:44:49.400 I want suds on there. If it's a pileup at 0:44:49.440 --> 0:44:50.799 a car wash, that's what I want to see. 0:44:54.620 --> 0:44:55.790 If you've enjoyed this episode. 0:44:55.830 --> 0:44:57.370 If you've enjoyed this episode. 0:44:57.690 --> 0:44:59.469 That's impossible. 0:44:59.590 --> 0:45:02.070 Business analysts are like, what the fuck are they talking about? 0:45:02.090 --> 0:45:03.790 You're like, that's a podcast? 0:45:03.830 --> 0:45:06.550 What are they doing? That can't be real. 0:45:06.710 --> 0:45:08.730 They're just sad with their little nerf lives in there. 0:45:08.989 --> 0:45:09.149 Okay. 0:45:09.170 --> 0:45:12.310 If you've enjoyed this episode, please. Someone out there. 0:45:12.330 --> 0:45:12.830 Do something. 0:45:13.590 --> 0:45:16.700 Give us a review. One of our strongest episodes to date, 0:45:16.739 --> 0:45:17.110 I believe. 0:45:17.160 --> 0:45:18.580 I reckon this is our best we've ever had. 0:45:18.620 --> 0:45:20.319 We're ending the year on a high note. 0:45:20.420 --> 0:45:23.120 This is our last episode for the year. I wish. Kidding. 0:45:23.180 --> 0:45:23.759 I love it here. 0:45:23.780 --> 0:45:25.840 Let's just put this one on repeat because it's that good. 0:45:26.700 --> 0:45:29.029 But give us a review, subscribe, and follow us on 0:45:29.070 --> 0:45:30.530 the social medias. 0:45:30.610 --> 0:45:32.890 Instagram, TikTok. The Facebook group is bustling. 0:45:34.050 --> 0:45:36.450 And for the love of God, buy the fucking hats. 0:45:36.550 --> 0:45:39.070 For the love of God, sign the petition, buy the hats. 0:45:39.530 --> 0:45:40.270 Get the calendar. 0:45:40.290 --> 0:45:41.230 Get the calendar. 0:45:42.190 --> 0:45:43.870 And do the fucking knit treatment as well. 0:45:43.890 --> 0:45:44.150 Yes. 0:45:44.450 --> 0:45:48.370 Also, amongst all the car fucking on this episode, we 0:45:48.410 --> 0:45:52.240 do have a very important episode on. Keep it together, man. 0:45:52.260 --> 0:45:53.549 We're so close. 0:45:53.760 --> 0:45:55.280 Car fucking aside. Yeah. 0:45:55.620 --> 0:45:58.759 Let's put the cars fucking aside. The cars and the 0:45:58.780 --> 0:46:03.370 pillow sex aside. We have a very, very, very good 0:46:03.410 --> 0:46:07.029 episode with Jai Arrow and his beautiful wife, Berry. So 0:46:07.230 --> 0:46:08.010 tune in on Monday. 0:46:08.030 --> 0:46:15.270 It's on the day after the NRL Grand Final. 0:46:15.430 --> 0:46:16.509 Oh, juicy. We harmonised then. 0:46:19.860 --> 0:46:20.120 Anyway. 0:46:20.239 --> 0:46:22.140 Yes, you can join us next week on Monday, the 0:46:22.180 --> 0:46:24.640 public holiday, after the NRL Grand Final, which happens to 0:46:24.680 --> 0:46:26.819 be the changeover of Daylight Savings, and I wish all 0:46:26.840 --> 0:46:29.230 the parents luck for that, especially for you parents. But 0:46:29.270 --> 0:46:31.530 we have an episode with Jai Arrow and his wife, Barry, 0:46:31.690 --> 0:46:34.450 and little Ayla was in the studio as well. Jai 0:46:34.489 --> 0:46:38.089 was diagnosed with MND earlier this year, and we talk 0:46:38.170 --> 0:46:41.680 all things their life. So tune in. Subscribe. It'll be 0:46:41.719 --> 0:46:43.540 straight in your inbox, even on public holiday. 0:46:43.660 --> 0:46:45.660 It's a very moving episode, so please join us. 0:46:45.640 --> 0:46:46.040 For that one. 0:46:46.239 --> 0:46:47.200 We should go. 0:46:47.660 --> 0:46:48.060 Goodbye. 0:46:48.140 --> 0:46:48.339 Goodbye. 0:46:59.070 --> 0:47:02.570 Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country 0:47:02.590 --> 0:47:06.270 throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. 0:47:06.610 --> 0:47:09.100 We pay our respects to their elders past and present 0:47:09.200 --> 0:47:11.919 and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait 0:47:11.940 --> 0:47:15.839 Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.