Speaker 1: Apod Shape Production. Welcome back to another episode of Am
Speaker 1: I A Bad Mum?
Speaker 2: Podcast.
Speaker 1: We really enjoy the memes that come through on our
Speaker 1: social media as well at am I A Bad Mum
Speaker 1: on Instagram?
Speaker 3: Some good ones in there.
Speaker 1: This one I liked so it says to all the
Speaker 1: teens who are being raised by eighties babies who barely
Speaker 1: survived the nineties because we didn't have curfews, cell phones
Speaker 1: and our parents couldn't spy on us on social media,
Speaker 1: how's life three sixty treating you?
Speaker 2: Kids are kids? We go nowhere. We can track them
Speaker 2: wherever they're very.
Speaker 1: Which is good for a safety thing, but terrible for
Speaker 1: Like when I think about the times that I pretended
Speaker 1: I was sleeping over at.
Speaker 2: Emma's house and we were on the train to the city.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, Mom.
Speaker 2: Had no idea.
Speaker 4: It kind of probably had an idea, don't you think,
Speaker 4: But they were just okay to just block it out
Speaker 4: because there was no way that they were going to
Speaker 4: track you or no. You know, deep down they probably knew,
Speaker 4: but they couldn't pin it on you.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know. I feel like she just didn't know.
Speaker 2: I feel like maybe.
Speaker 1: I came across a lot more put together honest than
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 4: God, imagine revisiting that, like, imagine back then seeing yourself
Speaker 4: try and deliver those one liners of going yep, no,
Speaker 4: I'm definitely staying at Emma's tonight. Yeah, we're watching movies
Speaker 4: all night.
Speaker 3: You'd be like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: Emma's mom thought the same. She was saying at my house.
Speaker 2: God knows where we stayed. I don't even know.
Speaker 1: Imagine that actually is reminded me because it caught me
Speaker 1: out the other way round the other day, because the
Speaker 1: girls wanted to stay back after school and watch the netball.
Speaker 1: When I say they wanted to watch the netple rage,
Speaker 1: they had no interest in watching the netball, but I
Speaker 1: was like, who's playing? The boys from the local boys'
Speaker 1: school were also coming and they were watching the Network game.
Speaker 2: So great.
Speaker 1: Honestly, they took makeup with them to school to put
Speaker 1: on after school for watching the netball.
Speaker 3: But still at school.
Speaker 1: It was at school, Oh yeah, at yeah. So they
Speaker 1: said to me, can you pick us up after the
Speaker 1: net boar? I was like, yeah, yeah, no worries. What time.
Speaker 2: When I was.
Speaker 1: Thinking that's great, it was a Friday, I was like,
Speaker 1: I can get a bit of extra work done. And
Speaker 1: then also, so I've introduced a new rule on a Friday.
Speaker 1: And this is off the back of the fact that
Speaker 1: the last few weeks, I don't think I get home
Speaker 1: before seven pm. Oh well, Friday's work super hard every day.
Speaker 1: Every day, I was like, the amount of times I
Speaker 1: come home and I'm then I'm like, fuck, dinner, what
Speaker 1: are we gonna wait for dinner?
Speaker 2: It's dark.
Speaker 4: You're close enough to some takeaway Fridays surely could be
Speaker 4: your takeaway day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but reach can't have takeaway every I was like why.
Speaker 4: I was like, okay, maybe it's a good thing that
Speaker 4: I don't have takeaway available every night near me.
Speaker 1: Because then you'd also be like living in a tent
Speaker 1: because it's expensive.
Speaker 2: So anyway, yeah, on a Friday.
Speaker 1: Yes, So they wanted to watch it and I was like, okay, great,
Speaker 1: So what do you reckon like five point thirty or whatever.
Speaker 1: They're like, yeah, we think so we'll let you know, right,
Speaker 1: And so the new rule on the Friday. Jay and
Speaker 1: I obviously we work together and we own our own business,
Speaker 1: and we decided we're trying to leave at four pm
Speaker 1: on a Friday. Okay, moving forward. Yeah, because we're here
Speaker 1: for too long. And then we also spend because it's
Speaker 1: our own business. People will know what that's like. You're
Speaker 1: doing stuff on the weekend as well, because shit, it
Speaker 1: needs to get done. It just doesn't stop. You never
Speaker 1: stopped thinking about it either. That was the first week
Speaker 1: and I was like, perfect, the kids want to stay
Speaker 1: at school till fi point thirty to watch the netball,
Speaker 1: so we can leave it four go have a drink somewhere. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we did do that, right, And the girls hadn't told
Speaker 1: me what time they wanted me to pick them up,
Speaker 1: and so we hadn't fully confirmed, and so I texted
Speaker 1: them and just said, don't forget to let me know
Speaker 1: what time you want picking up.
Speaker 2: We've then walked down.
Speaker 1: Into the city from work and we've gone for a
Speaker 1: drink and we've got some little snacks, and I was
Speaker 1: like super excited. I was like, look at us at
Speaker 1: four pm on a Friday, like we literally never do this.
Speaker 1: Five o'clock comes and I get a phone call can
Speaker 1: you pick us up? I went, yeah, I can, but
Speaker 1: I thought five point thirty, like, you didn't confirm with me,
Speaker 1: So I was thinking in my mind five thirty and
Speaker 1: they were like, oh, no, everyone's leaving earlier, so can
Speaker 1: you like pick us up now? And I went, I
Speaker 1: can't pick you up now. They were why not? I said,
Speaker 1: you can't just tell me? Can I just call me
Speaker 1: and say come now? Yeah, I'm working, working, I've got
Speaker 1: stuff to talk, like, let me get stuff finished and
Speaker 1: then I'll come and pick you up. Pick you up
Speaker 1: at five thirty, like I said, I was gonna pick
Speaker 1: you up five thirty. Oh. Then they've hung up, and
Speaker 1: then Amelia's text and where are you?
Speaker 2: What did that work in the office? She went, no,
Speaker 2: you're not. I can see that you're not there.
Speaker 1: Shit, shit five three sixty.
Speaker 2: Why gosh? The other way around?
Speaker 3: Exactly why me?
Speaker 4: I would have been like, I can hear that you're
Speaker 4: not at work, and it sounds very busy in the background.
Speaker 2: Of that restaurant. You're at the pub.
Speaker 3: You're like, oh, sorry, yeah, be there still at five thirty?
Speaker 2: Yeah, five thirty, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm not coming here. Am I ready to leave yet?
Speaker 4: Am I a bad mom for being a bad mum
Speaker 4: in general?
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're about to say about this.
Speaker 1: I'm a bad mum for being a bad mum. In general. However,
Speaker 1: I will just remind you of what I just said,
Speaker 1: and that was that I picked the kids up late
Speaker 1: watching the netball game, pretending I was at work, but
Speaker 1: actually I was at the pub, and my crumb.
Speaker 2: Dollars have just arrived.
Speaker 4: I wish like I actually love both scenarios, but the
Speaker 4: other sud to it if you lead with that honesty
Speaker 4: of it. Sorry, can't pick you up right now. My
Speaker 4: crumb dollars have just arrived. I've got half a pie
Speaker 4: sitting in front of me, but I'll be there at
Speaker 4: five thirty.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks for calling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I had a Cosmopolitan waiting to be drunk.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, that takes ages to make. Yeah, I waited for that.
Speaker 1: We're not going to be there right now, too, busy, FYI.
Speaker 1: Mine was just mine sort of tape is into that.
Speaker 1: I just was just explaining to you before we started,
Speaker 1: which was just had a weekend of it. Do you
Speaker 1: ever just have just a couple of days of consecutive
Speaker 1: parenting that just really gets under your goat that you
Speaker 1: sort of go, I don't want.
Speaker 2: To do this any more.
Speaker 3: I don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 4: And you said, I don't want to collapse Okay, yes,
Speaker 4: I could be pre or post period.
Speaker 3: Maybe, like I could be in that where.
Speaker 4: Life feels way too hard for everyone and everything. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but I just had a weekend of it, Katie, and
Speaker 4: I just got to the end of the weekend and
Speaker 4: was like, this is truly fucked.
Speaker 3: Is this what I signed up for?
Speaker 2: Is this the rest of my life?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: Why do you keep fighting everything?
Speaker 1: I was chatting to an Uber driver the other day
Speaker 1: and he was talking about how his kids are in
Speaker 1: their twenties.
Speaker 2: He was like, oh, you wait, it gets more expensive.
Speaker 1: I was like, what, it gets more expensive? No, I'm
Speaker 1: not giving them money in the twenties. No, Like I
Speaker 1: feel like I've tapped out by then, and I'm like, eighteen.
Speaker 3: You can drive me around with your petrol and pay
Speaker 3: for it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think just at the moment, I think you
Speaker 4: go through those stages and ages, and I just am
Speaker 4: having to reevaluate my own parenting and the way that
Speaker 4: I show.
Speaker 3: Up with my daughters because.
Speaker 4: Maybe the way that I have handled and shown up
Speaker 4: with them younger has just slightly shifted.
Speaker 3: Does that make sense to you? So let me just
Speaker 3: explain it a bit more.
Speaker 4: Obviously, Gracie is eleven and the way that I've always
Speaker 4: been able to sort of manage is not the right word,
Speaker 4: but like relate and respond and has shifted because she's
Speaker 4: shifted so something. You know, she's grown up a little
Speaker 4: bit more, and now she doesn't quite respond the same
Speaker 4: way like you know, just using when they babies, for instance,
Speaker 4: that point of distraction. You know, when you used to
Speaker 4: be like they'd be screaming and you go, look, oh
Speaker 4: my god, there's a possum and they go and they
Speaker 4: stop and they look for the possum and they.
Speaker 3: Like my three year old nephew. That still works.
Speaker 4: Now, Gracie has shifted again with the way that I
Speaker 4: respond to things, and I've got to sort of take
Speaker 4: myself off the edge of sort of caring about every
Speaker 4: eye roll that she gives me.
Speaker 3: Does that make sense?
Speaker 4: And it's for me to do This is not for her, right,
Speaker 4: She's just learning how to be eleven and hormones and
Speaker 4: all of that running through her body. But at the
Speaker 4: same time, like I have to adapt as much as
Speaker 4: she does.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you take that stuff personally too. I went
Speaker 1: through a stage of also being a bit like that
Speaker 1: every time I was hit with an eye roll.
Speaker 2: Or a horrible comment or an insult.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I took I take it personally.
Speaker 4: Yeah, mine is just about heated situations that her and
Speaker 4: I get into and me not knowing how to respond
Speaker 4: right at the moment for her and for her I
Speaker 4: So then instead of looking to blame her, I've just
Speaker 4: sort of gone inwards and gone, why am I reacting
Speaker 4: like this? What's the work that I need to do
Speaker 4: in it to sort of learn and grow and evolve
Speaker 4: as a parent into the next stage and slash age
Speaker 4: of teenagers. But then you start digging that up, Katie,
Speaker 4: and it's shit.
Speaker 1: Hard. It is okay to have like a weekend or
Speaker 1: a couple of days where you just think parenting's fucked,
Speaker 1: because it can be. I was having a conversation with
Speaker 1: a friend the other day, and so they've got a
Speaker 1: four or five year old and a newborn. They're really struggling,
Speaker 1: and they said that they literally got to the stage
Speaker 1: where they were like, this is absolutely fucked.
Speaker 2: We are so tired.
Speaker 1: We're getting at each other, we're arguing ourselves.
Speaker 2: They've got a new.
Speaker 1: Rule now where they send the other one into the bedroom.
Speaker 1: They get an hour and they go do whatever you want.
Speaker 1: In that hour, go to sleep, watch Netflix so that
Speaker 1: they can just get swap over. But they also were like,
Speaker 1: we love our kids. However, if we were going to
Speaker 1: go back and know what we knew now, we might not.
Speaker 2: Have chosen to have with That's what they said.
Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, that's really honest. I've been being
Speaker 1: so honest and there's nothing to do with how much
Speaker 1: you love your kids.
Speaker 3: No, you're in the depths hard sometimes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're just in the depths of it, which is
Speaker 4: we can say and think that, but in the reality
Speaker 4: of it, like I say, I want to tap out
Speaker 4: for at least six months, Like I need a holiday
Speaker 4: for six months.
Speaker 3: It is fucking unrealistic, Katie.
Speaker 2: That's just me.
Speaker 4: That's you're an idiot for thinking that, because I know that,
Speaker 4: say give me, I don't know, I'm going to be
Speaker 4: really rash and say I'd take three months, and I
Speaker 4: would be just petrified that they've forgotten me.
Speaker 1: I reckon, if you had a week or even a weekend,
Speaker 1: knowing how you're feeling right now, say three nights away.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but limited phone.
Speaker 1: So that's that's the thing you need to not because
Speaker 1: they can't be texting you every five minutes, so you
Speaker 1: feel like you may as well still be there cleaning
Speaker 1: up the ship.
Speaker 2: Where's my shoes? Where are you? She's done this?
Speaker 1: Like you can't have that three nights, don't don't take
Speaker 1: your phone or don't you know whatever you need to do?
Speaker 1: Switch off, last stop stop sup.
Speaker 2: So I reckon you'd feel completely different.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe that's what it is.
Speaker 2: So like, whilst I appreciate you six months.
Speaker 4: That you just need three days, Oh my gosh, I
Speaker 4: just need Yeah. Maybe, And we're coming to the end
Speaker 4: of another term. I think this happens to me every term.
Speaker 4: I get to like week eight, week nine, and I
Speaker 4: start to just go, this.
Speaker 2: Is fucking fucked. Yeah, but then you've got holidays.
Speaker 4: Holidays, we don't have to do lunchboxes and the brigmarole
Speaker 4: and dance and da da da.
Speaker 1: Here, but it comes with the same challenges and we
Speaker 1: feel the days. Now you feel the days, and then
Speaker 1: you've got the arguing for all day long.
Speaker 3: So just live in the dream.