1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281 Speaker 1: Apoday production. 2 00:00:10,121 --> 00:00:13,521 Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the 3 00:00:13,601 --> 00:00:16,441 Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects 4 00:00:16,481 --> 00:00:19,641 Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect 5 00:00:19,721 --> 00:00:22,881 Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today. 6 00:00:25,081 --> 00:00:28,801 Speaker 3: Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara. 7 00:00:28,961 --> 00:00:31,321 Speaker 4: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level 8 00:00:31,361 --> 00:00:33,201 Speaker 4: up together. Let's go deep, let. 9 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:36,161 Speaker 1: The emotions flow and find the lessons to grow and Glow. 10 00:00:36,521 --> 00:00:38,321 Speaker 1: Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow, and 11 00:00:38,361 --> 00:00:39,841 Speaker 1: we're here to be your expander. 12 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:47,041 Speaker 4: Hello, guys, welcome back to Grow and. 13 00:00:49,921 --> 00:00:53,441 Speaker 1: Today's episode is all about self validation, a very very 14 00:00:53,441 --> 00:00:55,881 Speaker 1: important topic to talk about. Yes, so we're going to 15 00:00:55,961 --> 00:00:59,081 Speaker 1: unpack today and also how I've been feeling around it 16 00:00:59,121 --> 00:01:03,041 Speaker 1: lately and how I have not been validating myself humanize myself. 17 00:01:03,961 --> 00:01:05,761 Speaker 1: But you've got a little funny star that you want 18 00:01:05,761 --> 00:01:07,681 Speaker 1: to tell that I don't know yet. 19 00:01:07,761 --> 00:01:09,161 Speaker 4: Just a little story of us getting here. 20 00:01:09,161 --> 00:01:11,361 Speaker 3: As you guys know, every time we come to Brisbane, 21 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,681 Speaker 3: there's a little bit of a story behind it. So 22 00:01:13,761 --> 00:01:15,201 Speaker 3: the last couple of times we've come up here, if 23 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,721 Speaker 3: you've followed along. There was stories of us having to 24 00:01:18,961 --> 00:01:21,801 Speaker 3: find lockboxes, go to different convenience. 25 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:24,121 Speaker 1: Stores, having homeless, having people. 26 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:28,201 Speaker 3: Call me a effing salot because you're in pink back shorts. 27 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,161 Speaker 3: There's always a story behind it, and this time you 28 00:01:31,241 --> 00:01:32,961 Speaker 3: were in the trenches. This, I think is when you 29 00:01:33,041 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 3: literally we hit with gushtro So I was like, I'm 30 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:39,440 Speaker 3: not bothering at I was booking our hotel and this 31 00:01:39,481 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 3: time we were like, we're not just going to go 32 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,841 Speaker 3: through booking dot com because every time we do end 33 00:01:44,881 --> 00:01:47,281 Speaker 3: up having to go and find the keys and it's 34 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:47,961 Speaker 3: so difficult. 35 00:01:47,961 --> 00:01:49,240 Speaker 4: So I was like, I'm just going to go straight 36 00:01:49,241 --> 00:01:51,441 Speaker 4: to the merritant like a hotel. And I had to look. 37 00:01:51,481 --> 00:01:53,001 Speaker 4: It's like big, it's got heaps its space. 38 00:01:53,081 --> 00:01:56,001 Speaker 3: I was like, awesome, booked it all in, got all 39 00:01:56,041 --> 00:01:57,041 Speaker 3: ready to go, and then I was like, crab, I 40 00:01:57,041 --> 00:01:57,801 Speaker 3: don't have my card on me. 41 00:01:57,841 --> 00:01:58,481 Speaker 4: It's back at home. 42 00:01:58,521 --> 00:01:59,801 Speaker 3: So I was like, I'll just do want to get home, 43 00:01:59,921 --> 00:02:02,081 Speaker 3: went back home, got it all again, the right dates, 44 00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:04,801 Speaker 3: everything lined up, pushed book now and an email came 45 00:02:04,841 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 3: through and I was like, oh, just double check the confirmation, 46 00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:09,041 Speaker 3: like because I don't even know what came to me. 47 00:02:09,601 --> 00:02:12,081 Speaker 3: No so it said it was for the next day. Oh, 48 00:02:12,401 --> 00:02:15,601 Speaker 3: so yes, I booked the wrong day, but this lait. 49 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,601 Speaker 3: Then I rang up and I like talked to the 50 00:02:18,641 --> 00:02:20,601 Speaker 3: first person. I'm like, look, this is what's happened. There's 51 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:24,921 Speaker 3: no twenty four hour return policy, like cancel policy, and 52 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,001 Speaker 3: I'm like, look, I was just on your website. 53 00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:29,720 Speaker 4: The first person was like, well, like you know, talking 54 00:02:29,761 --> 00:02:29,961 Speaker 4: me through. 55 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,361 Speaker 3: I'm like, you can't do it because it's not within 56 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,001 Speaker 3: twenty four hours because it was for the next day 57 00:02:33,001 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 3: and it was like late that after me that I 58 00:02:34,361 --> 00:02:36,601 Speaker 3: looked it and I was like fuck, and like, is 59 00:02:36,641 --> 00:02:39,841 Speaker 3: there anyone else that you can transfer me to? Yeah, 60 00:02:40,081 --> 00:02:43,321 Speaker 3: transferred me over to another lady and she was like, oh, 61 00:02:43,361 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. This happens all the time, and like 62 00:02:45,201 --> 00:02:47,601 Speaker 3: what happens and she goes it just refreshes itself on 63 00:02:47,641 --> 00:02:49,401 Speaker 3: its own and changes to the next day. So if 64 00:02:49,481 --> 00:02:50,881 Speaker 3: you go and get your card and you take like 65 00:02:50,881 --> 00:02:52,960 Speaker 3: a middleor two, the dates changeover. 66 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:54,681 Speaker 1: I know. 67 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,521 Speaker 3: So then there was this whole thing. I had to 68 00:02:56,561 --> 00:02:58,921 Speaker 3: like rebook it in and then call back and then 69 00:02:59,001 --> 00:03:00,401 Speaker 3: cancel that one. Then she had to refund me that 70 00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,681 Speaker 3: because she couldn't refund me because it's not in twenty 71 00:03:02,721 --> 00:03:04,321 Speaker 3: four hours until I'd booked another day. 72 00:03:04,441 --> 00:03:07,321 Speaker 4: Always drama around there, always drama. So anyways, you didn't 73 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:08,201 Speaker 4: even know any of that happened. 74 00:03:08,201 --> 00:03:11,121 Speaker 1: Oh I didn't. Wow, thank you for booking and organizing that. 75 00:03:11,841 --> 00:03:12,921 Speaker 4: I was just like, so funny. 76 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,281 Speaker 3: So now I feel like, because that happened, we're gonna 77 00:03:15,281 --> 00:03:16,641 Speaker 3: get there and she's gonna be easy breezing. 78 00:03:17,161 --> 00:03:18,881 Speaker 1: Last time, amazing. It was like an hour and a 79 00:03:18,881 --> 00:03:20,801 Speaker 1: half to get into our hotel. I know. It's like 80 00:03:20,881 --> 00:03:23,601 Speaker 1: all this time we've just been hanging out, eating, doing 81 00:03:23,641 --> 00:03:27,881 Speaker 1: content working. I know, Oh, have lots more time today. 82 00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:30,321 Speaker 4: Oh, we've made it all right. 83 00:03:31,161 --> 00:03:34,520 Speaker 1: Self validation What is that to you? Kiara? 84 00:03:34,641 --> 00:03:39,121 Speaker 3: It is validating everything I feel and treating myself as 85 00:03:39,121 --> 00:03:41,921 Speaker 3: I would others. I feel like when things happen in life, 86 00:03:42,001 --> 00:03:44,761 Speaker 3: whether it be like something hectic or even the sleep 87 00:03:44,761 --> 00:03:45,521 Speaker 3: deprivation thing. 88 00:03:46,361 --> 00:03:47,001 Speaker 4: Even like when I. 89 00:03:46,921 --> 00:03:49,281 Speaker 3: Spoke to you yesterday, I was like, I feel bad 90 00:03:49,321 --> 00:03:51,361 Speaker 3: telling you about this because you're going through your shit. 91 00:03:51,921 --> 00:03:53,721 Speaker 4: Like I feel like we get. 92 00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:57,361 Speaker 3: So guilty sometimes in being so great to validate the 93 00:03:57,401 --> 00:04:00,160 Speaker 3: people around us that we love and have so much 94 00:04:00,161 --> 00:04:03,721 Speaker 3: compassion for them, and we forget to have that same compassion. 95 00:04:03,281 --> 00:04:07,521 Speaker 1: For ourselves with these unreally stupidly high expectations for us 96 00:04:07,521 --> 00:04:10,281 Speaker 1: to just be a robot honestly, Like, why, I remember 97 00:04:10,281 --> 00:04:11,641 Speaker 1: you said that when I was in hospital, you were 98 00:04:11,801 --> 00:04:13,801 Speaker 1: upset about something and You're like, oh my god, why 99 00:04:13,841 --> 00:04:15,321 Speaker 1: am I talking to you about this? I was like, no, 100 00:04:15,441 --> 00:04:17,161 Speaker 1: I'm here for all of it, just like you're here 101 00:04:17,201 --> 00:04:19,281 Speaker 1: for all of my stuff. You're here for me being 102 00:04:19,321 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 1: in hospital, You're here for my highs, my lows, my struggles, whatever, 103 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,521 Speaker 1: I'm here for yours as well. That's what like beautiful 104 00:04:24,521 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 1: relationships are built on. It's being vulnerable and sharing and 105 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,681 Speaker 1: connecting and holding space and being there for each other. 106 00:04:29,721 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 1: But you're right, we don't validate ourselves. And I've even 107 00:04:33,121 --> 00:04:35,601 Speaker 1: had so many moments lately and you pulled me up 108 00:04:35,601 --> 00:04:39,121 Speaker 1: on it too, where I'm just not giving myself that 109 00:04:39,241 --> 00:04:41,481 Speaker 1: full validation of the season I'm in and what I'm 110 00:04:41,521 --> 00:04:45,921 Speaker 1: feeling is okay, natural, normal, and it will pass. But 111 00:04:46,001 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 1: I just put this unrealistic expectation for myself to just 112 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,841 Speaker 1: move through something really fast. And I said it in 113 00:04:51,921 --> 00:04:53,801 Speaker 1: a previous episode, But it's like when people are asking 114 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,601 Speaker 1: lately how I am, Like I've expected myself to once 115 00:04:56,641 --> 00:04:58,561 Speaker 1: I step out of that hospital that I'm more good. 116 00:04:58,961 --> 00:05:00,801 Speaker 1: I'm out, I'm good and back with my family, like 117 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,201 Speaker 1: I know what's happening. I know I've got to get 118 00:05:02,281 --> 00:05:04,361 Speaker 1: checked up. I know what I've got to do. But 119 00:05:04,361 --> 00:05:06,841 Speaker 1: I still didn't feel okay. But I felt so guilty 120 00:05:06,961 --> 00:05:09,681 Speaker 1: for not being okay, and it just made me think, 121 00:05:09,921 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: you know, there's that day, it's like the are you okay? Day? 122 00:05:12,481 --> 00:05:15,721 Speaker 1: But so many people carry around whatever is going on 123 00:05:15,761 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 1: for them internally and just let it sit there and 124 00:05:18,161 --> 00:05:22,481 Speaker 1: bottle up because they're too embarrassed to actually just normalize 125 00:05:22,481 --> 00:05:24,241 Speaker 1: that they don't feel good and they don't feel okay. 126 00:05:24,281 --> 00:05:26,241 Speaker 1: But where did that come from? I know, to come 127 00:05:26,241 --> 00:05:29,161 Speaker 1: from a society and a generation of like being told shush, 128 00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:33,161 Speaker 1: like stop crying over that. Yeah, be grateful, like you 129 00:05:33,161 --> 00:05:35,001 Speaker 1: know all this stuff that we might have got said 130 00:05:35,081 --> 00:05:37,961 Speaker 1: to growing up from parents or cagifers or people at school. 131 00:05:38,001 --> 00:05:42,361 Speaker 1: But it's just so important to validate yourself. And it's 132 00:05:42,401 --> 00:05:44,321 Speaker 1: so beautiful when the people around you can validate you. 133 00:05:44,361 --> 00:05:46,361 Speaker 1: But it has to come from within. Otherwise you just 134 00:05:46,401 --> 00:05:48,720 Speaker 1: carried around like a big bag of guilt and shame. 135 00:05:48,801 --> 00:05:51,601 Speaker 1: And that is the lowest vibrational frequency that you can 136 00:05:51,641 --> 00:05:54,121 Speaker 1: be on. And I've felt that and it's awful. 137 00:05:54,401 --> 00:05:57,161 Speaker 3: Yeah, And even like when you were talking to me 138 00:05:57,241 --> 00:06:00,321 Speaker 3: yesterday and you're like, I've just cried so much this week, 139 00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 3: and I was. 140 00:06:00,641 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: Like, how good. 141 00:06:01,601 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 4: But like you're moving, you're moving. 142 00:06:04,681 --> 00:06:06,681 Speaker 3: All that motion, Because if you don't let it out 143 00:06:06,761 --> 00:06:08,160 Speaker 3: and you don't feel the things you want to feel, 144 00:06:08,521 --> 00:06:10,881 Speaker 3: it's got to come back to bite your us. Whether 145 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,401 Speaker 3: you're not getting sick or you have a day where 146 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,641 Speaker 3: you fucking have a panic attack, Like you're better off 147 00:06:14,681 --> 00:06:17,321 Speaker 3: as you're feeling these things to just sit in it 148 00:06:17,401 --> 00:06:20,241 Speaker 3: if you feel it important, give yourself grace, release it, 149 00:06:20,361 --> 00:06:23,121 Speaker 3: give yourself time. Don't even put a time limit on 150 00:06:23,161 --> 00:06:24,561 Speaker 3: how long it needs to take to get over something. 151 00:06:24,641 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 3: Cause like even with you, actually like you had so 152 00:06:27,641 --> 00:06:28,761 Speaker 3: many things happening at once. 153 00:06:29,001 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 4: It wasn't just going to the hospital. 154 00:06:30,801 --> 00:06:32,961 Speaker 3: You also had kids that were sick when you got home, 155 00:06:33,041 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 3: and then you had this happening, that happening, this happening, 156 00:06:35,481 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 3: Like there was like ten different things. And you're like, 157 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,201 Speaker 3: I'm out of hospital now and frustrating myself because i 158 00:06:40,201 --> 00:06:41,721 Speaker 3: feel like I'm still upset. And I was like, but 159 00:06:41,761 --> 00:06:43,881 Speaker 3: there's so much catch up, Like, look at all the 160 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,921 Speaker 3: shit that happened right before you went to hospital, Like 161 00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:47,481 Speaker 3: how stressed you were, That's what so much of it 162 00:06:47,521 --> 00:06:47,921 Speaker 3: came from. 163 00:06:48,081 --> 00:06:50,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just so nice. I feel like having people 164 00:06:50,561 --> 00:06:52,961 Speaker 1: like you and Steve and my mom just to validate that. 165 00:06:53,081 --> 00:06:54,561 Speaker 1: And that's why I always say the support you have 166 00:06:54,601 --> 00:06:57,361 Speaker 1: around you're so important because they remind you just validate yourself. 167 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,161 Speaker 1: And it's so healing when you have people around you 168 00:07:00,201 --> 00:07:03,361 Speaker 1: to validate it. Yeah, but we have to get better 169 00:07:03,401 --> 00:07:05,721 Speaker 1: at doing it for ourselves and that is something I'm 170 00:07:05,801 --> 00:07:08,681 Speaker 1: working on now, Like I've got to work on that more. 171 00:07:09,041 --> 00:07:12,401 Speaker 1: And I think so many people listening will relate to that. Yeah. Yeah, 172 00:07:12,601 --> 00:07:13,521 Speaker 1: I think we all do. 173 00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:16,641 Speaker 3: I think I'm probably one of the harshest people that 174 00:07:16,681 --> 00:07:19,361 Speaker 3: I am to anyone is like on myself, yes, because 175 00:07:19,401 --> 00:07:21,041 Speaker 3: you think, like I can handle this, I should be 176 00:07:21,081 --> 00:07:24,241 Speaker 3: able to handle that, you know, I'm like, even at work, 177 00:07:24,281 --> 00:07:24,921 Speaker 3: you're the boss. 178 00:07:24,961 --> 00:07:26,761 Speaker 4: With your family, I'm the mom, I'm the this. 179 00:07:27,081 --> 00:07:28,681 Speaker 3: Like you feel like you always need to kind of 180 00:07:28,721 --> 00:07:31,001 Speaker 3: have your shit together, Yes, but no one has their 181 00:07:31,001 --> 00:07:32,961 Speaker 3: shit together all the time all the time. 182 00:07:33,321 --> 00:07:36,241 Speaker 1: So true. Yeah, even with your YouTube and you would 183 00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:38,961 Speaker 1: like get stressed or worried about how many uploads you're 184 00:07:38,961 --> 00:07:40,521 Speaker 1: doing in the time to edit, and I'm like, yeah, girl, 185 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,121 Speaker 1: I don't know how you do it. I've an uploaded 186 00:07:42,201 --> 00:07:44,561 Speaker 1: YouTube in three months because I can't be it, Like, 187 00:07:44,921 --> 00:07:47,041 Speaker 1: how are you doing five a week? But I'll have 188 00:07:47,041 --> 00:07:48,361 Speaker 1: to validate you because you're like I should be able 189 00:07:48,361 --> 00:07:49,321 Speaker 1: to keep up with this. I used to do this 190 00:07:49,401 --> 00:07:51,361 Speaker 1: years ago. I'm like, you also only had one kid 191 00:07:51,441 --> 00:07:53,641 Speaker 1: years ago. Yeah, you also didn't have love Ellis Rose. 192 00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:56,281 Speaker 1: You also didn't have a podcast. So true, you've got 193 00:07:56,321 --> 00:07:58,361 Speaker 1: so many new things that you're doing. Of course it's 194 00:07:58,361 --> 00:08:00,201 Speaker 1: going to feel a lot heavy than what it used 195 00:08:00,241 --> 00:08:01,201 Speaker 1: to and you forget. 196 00:08:01,441 --> 00:08:03,681 Speaker 3: I feel like you forget and even going from like 197 00:08:04,081 --> 00:08:06,721 Speaker 3: if I look at how and chaotic life can be 198 00:08:06,761 --> 00:08:08,521 Speaker 3: sometimes and the nights can be and all that stuff, 199 00:08:08,561 --> 00:08:10,561 Speaker 3: I think back and I'm like, am I comparing to 200 00:08:10,641 --> 00:08:12,441 Speaker 3: when I had like one kid like Miller, because like 201 00:08:12,481 --> 00:08:13,641 Speaker 3: now I have three? 202 00:08:13,801 --> 00:08:14,561 Speaker 4: Like when you think of. 203 00:08:14,521 --> 00:08:18,321 Speaker 3: All those things, yes, it's like we all just need 204 00:08:18,321 --> 00:08:21,401 Speaker 3: to not be so hard on ourselves and just hold 205 00:08:21,641 --> 00:08:24,121 Speaker 3: more space for whatever it is that we are feeling 206 00:08:24,121 --> 00:08:27,161 Speaker 3: and whatever season we're in, and not hold shame and 207 00:08:27,201 --> 00:08:27,961 Speaker 3: guilt around us. 208 00:08:28,001 --> 00:08:29,681 Speaker 1: Yes, even the sleep you were saying on the way 209 00:08:29,761 --> 00:08:31,961 Speaker 1: up here, like it's even harder now than what it 210 00:08:32,041 --> 00:08:34,361 Speaker 1: was for new one stage. Uh huh, the newborn stage, 211 00:08:34,401 --> 00:08:36,841 Speaker 1: you expect it to be hard, but now that they're older, 212 00:08:37,041 --> 00:08:39,281 Speaker 1: it's harder because you're not used to it and you 213 00:08:39,281 --> 00:08:41,641 Speaker 1: have three children that are all getting up during the night. 214 00:08:42,201 --> 00:08:44,441 Speaker 1: But you can't get frustrated with yourself that your brain's 215 00:08:44,481 --> 00:08:47,721 Speaker 1: not firing, you're forgetting things, you're not as creative, because 216 00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:50,201 Speaker 1: of course you're not. You got three hours sleep last night. 217 00:08:50,081 --> 00:08:50,641 Speaker 4: That's it. 218 00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:53,721 Speaker 3: And they're scared, like they're scared, whereas when they're newborns 219 00:08:53,721 --> 00:08:56,281 Speaker 3: they just want food, yeah, feed, or they got wind 220 00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:59,401 Speaker 3: or something. But it's just kind of accepting and acknowledging 221 00:08:59,441 --> 00:09:01,841 Speaker 3: like it's okay. And if we are in a season 222 00:09:01,881 --> 00:09:04,081 Speaker 3: where we are feeling lower or we are feeling shit, 223 00:09:04,241 --> 00:09:06,041 Speaker 3: like reminding us. 224 00:09:05,601 --> 00:09:06,761 Speaker 4: It's not going to last forever. 225 00:09:06,961 --> 00:09:09,281 Speaker 3: Yes, we're not going to be here, you know, we 226 00:09:09,361 --> 00:09:11,321 Speaker 3: might still be here in a few months time, but 227 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,441 Speaker 3: hopefully we can move through it. 228 00:09:13,521 --> 00:09:15,601 Speaker 1: And I think it's really important for us as parents 229 00:09:15,641 --> 00:09:17,561 Speaker 1: as well to practice this because the more that we 230 00:09:17,561 --> 00:09:19,721 Speaker 1: can do this on ourselves, our kids and witness and 231 00:09:19,761 --> 00:09:21,721 Speaker 1: watch that. Yeah, Like I don't want my kids to 232 00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:25,921 Speaker 1: ever feel guilty or shameful or frustrated at themselves that 233 00:09:25,961 --> 00:09:28,641 Speaker 1: they're still upset about something. Yeah, Like you don't have 234 00:09:28,721 --> 00:09:31,241 Speaker 1: to get over something in a certain period of time, 235 00:09:31,361 --> 00:09:33,361 Speaker 1: Like healing is not linear, Like you don't know how 236 00:09:33,401 --> 00:09:34,841 Speaker 1: long it's going to take for you to feel better 237 00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:37,441 Speaker 1: about something. And I would say that to my children, 238 00:09:37,801 --> 00:09:39,761 Speaker 1: like you can be upset for as long as you want, 239 00:09:40,241 --> 00:09:44,441 Speaker 1: unless it's about spilt milk or something joking, but you 240 00:09:44,441 --> 00:09:46,121 Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like, the more we can do 241 00:09:46,161 --> 00:09:48,321 Speaker 1: that for ourselves, it shows those other people around us 242 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,681 Speaker 1: that they are okay to do that as well, and 243 00:09:49,681 --> 00:09:51,321 Speaker 1: they've got that support. Yeah. 244 00:09:51,401 --> 00:09:54,081 Speaker 3: Yeah, and sometimes too, like just validating that if we 245 00:09:54,281 --> 00:09:57,881 Speaker 3: are feeling really shit and we can't move through it 246 00:09:57,921 --> 00:09:59,921 Speaker 3: on our own, you can just reach out for some 247 00:09:59,961 --> 00:10:02,121 Speaker 3: support and some help to help guide you to get 248 00:10:02,121 --> 00:10:04,601 Speaker 3: through and if you are wanting to yet obviously things 249 00:10:04,641 --> 00:10:06,841 Speaker 3: are like months and months. Maybe that's where it's like going, Okay, 250 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,081 Speaker 3: maybe I need help with this, Maybe I need some 251 00:10:09,121 --> 00:10:11,961 Speaker 3: sort of guidance, Maybe I need to take more time 252 00:10:12,001 --> 00:10:13,841 Speaker 3: to really unpack what the fuck is going on? 253 00:10:13,921 --> 00:10:15,201 Speaker 4: And why am I feeling like this? 254 00:10:15,801 --> 00:10:19,201 Speaker 3: And sometimes it's hard to actually figure out what is 255 00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:20,961 Speaker 3: coming up, so you just feel shit. 256 00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:21,961 Speaker 4: You're like, what the fuck? 257 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,801 Speaker 1: And that's frustrating in itself, so frustrating, and that's where 258 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,761 Speaker 1: the girl can come in. It's like I've even had 259 00:10:26,801 --> 00:10:28,761 Speaker 1: thought processes. I've caught it. But I'm like, well, you 260 00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:31,081 Speaker 1: shouldn't be frustrated this, you shouldn't be stressed about this, 261 00:10:31,161 --> 00:10:32,561 Speaker 1: Like how lucky you get to do this? And I 262 00:10:32,561 --> 00:10:35,921 Speaker 1: start like being a bully. Yeah, I'm like, no, that's 263 00:10:35,961 --> 00:10:37,001 Speaker 1: not what we do anymore. 264 00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:39,601 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's nice to be positive, and it's nice to 265 00:10:39,721 --> 00:10:40,521 Speaker 4: look on the bright side. 266 00:10:40,561 --> 00:10:41,761 Speaker 1: It's toxic positive. That's it. 267 00:10:41,881 --> 00:10:44,361 Speaker 4: That's what I was about to say. But also we 268 00:10:44,401 --> 00:10:46,641 Speaker 4: need to have a whole compassion for yourself. 269 00:10:46,481 --> 00:10:49,561 Speaker 1: Grateful and how are you twenty four seven? Like all 270 00:10:49,641 --> 00:10:52,521 Speaker 1: emotions are just that they're not who you are, but 271 00:10:52,601 --> 00:10:54,401 Speaker 1: there's something that you feel and that comes and goes, 272 00:10:54,601 --> 00:10:57,681 Speaker 1: just like happy and joyful and excited, angry, frustrated and 273 00:10:57,721 --> 00:10:59,761 Speaker 1: sad are also emotions that you're gonna feel. 274 00:10:59,881 --> 00:11:01,561 Speaker 3: So something as well that's like popped up for me 275 00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:04,281 Speaker 3: the last couple of weeks where I've caught myself of 276 00:11:04,321 --> 00:11:06,881 Speaker 3: being like too hard on myself is going to dancing 277 00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:09,921 Speaker 3: because I've started going back and I've fucking loved it 278 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,001 Speaker 3: and I'm like, this is filling my cup, this is 279 00:11:12,001 --> 00:11:14,121 Speaker 3: making me so happy, and I'm like doing it for 280 00:11:14,201 --> 00:11:16,841 Speaker 3: me and as well, like you show up online you're like, yes, 281 00:11:16,881 --> 00:11:18,881 Speaker 3: like I'm doing this, I'm going to dance class. And 282 00:11:18,921 --> 00:11:22,121 Speaker 3: then I've just been fucking exhausted. I've been so tired 283 00:11:22,321 --> 00:11:24,281 Speaker 3: and I've had to ask myself. I'm like, no, you 284 00:11:24,281 --> 00:11:26,361 Speaker 3: should go, you should go, And it's like should I 285 00:11:26,441 --> 00:11:30,601 Speaker 3: go because I think it's going to make me feel good? 286 00:11:31,001 --> 00:11:33,481 Speaker 3: Or am I trying to make myself go because I 287 00:11:33,521 --> 00:11:36,161 Speaker 3: feel like now I need to because I've like committed 288 00:11:36,161 --> 00:11:38,641 Speaker 3: to like even though it doesn't feel right now yea. 289 00:11:38,801 --> 00:11:40,761 Speaker 3: And it was kind of like going, I'm getting frustrated 290 00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,321 Speaker 3: at myself if I don't show up because I told 291 00:11:42,321 --> 00:11:43,681 Speaker 3: myself I was going to do this. It was like 292 00:11:43,681 --> 00:11:46,401 Speaker 3: I'd made a commitment. But it's like, yes, but back 293 00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:49,001 Speaker 3: then your kids were sleeping, this was happening right now. 294 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,961 Speaker 3: You don't have the capacity to stay up till ten 295 00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,081 Speaker 3: o'clock at nine when you might only get a few 296 00:11:53,081 --> 00:11:53,561 Speaker 3: hours sleep. 297 00:11:53,641 --> 00:11:56,521 Speaker 1: It's so wide after dance, not just the physical dance class, 298 00:11:56,521 --> 00:11:58,841 Speaker 1: it's exhausting. It's like coming home you're like excited and 299 00:11:58,841 --> 00:12:00,881 Speaker 1: on a high, and then looking back at your routine 300 00:12:00,881 --> 00:12:03,561 Speaker 1: and your brain's on fire. All the lights, the music. 301 00:12:03,561 --> 00:12:04,921 Speaker 1: It's so stimulating. I know. 302 00:12:05,201 --> 00:12:06,681 Speaker 3: But I had a moment too where I had this 303 00:12:06,721 --> 00:12:08,521 Speaker 3: little chat back and forth in my head and it's like, 304 00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:11,001 Speaker 3: why do you feel like it's so important to go? 305 00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:14,201 Speaker 4: How do you feel like fucking exhausted? Are you sure? Yes, 306 00:12:14,281 --> 00:12:14,641 Speaker 4: I'm sure. 307 00:12:14,641 --> 00:12:16,241 Speaker 3: I also went to the gym like that day too, 308 00:12:16,721 --> 00:12:19,961 Speaker 3: and I was like, just listen to what you feel 309 00:12:20,041 --> 00:12:21,721 Speaker 3: right now. I know that you want to go and 310 00:12:21,761 --> 00:12:24,161 Speaker 3: you want to be committed, but it's like you can just. 311 00:12:24,121 --> 00:12:24,801 Speaker 4: Go next week. 312 00:12:24,841 --> 00:12:28,241 Speaker 1: You're not training to be a professional dancer, that's okay, 313 00:12:28,441 --> 00:12:28,881 Speaker 1: skip it. 314 00:12:28,921 --> 00:12:31,841 Speaker 3: But it's like you get frustrated for letting yourself down almost. 315 00:12:31,921 --> 00:12:33,601 Speaker 3: It's like you want to commit to something, but then 316 00:12:33,641 --> 00:12:35,041 Speaker 3: that's just the way life goes. 317 00:12:35,041 --> 00:12:37,041 Speaker 1: It's that high expectation that we have on ourselves. 318 00:12:37,161 --> 00:12:37,441 Speaker 4: Yeah. 319 00:12:37,641 --> 00:12:40,081 Speaker 1: I think being online, which not everyone can relate to, 320 00:12:40,161 --> 00:12:42,841 Speaker 1: but I feel like there's that extra added pressure, yeah 321 00:12:42,921 --> 00:12:46,881 Speaker 1: that people expect of you to show up a certain way, 322 00:12:47,241 --> 00:12:49,961 Speaker 1: or you get scared of the backlash of talking about 323 00:12:49,961 --> 00:12:53,041 Speaker 1: being sad about something or frustrated something or something not 324 00:12:53,081 --> 00:12:55,681 Speaker 1: feeling good. And there's a lot of projections that come 325 00:12:55,761 --> 00:12:58,161 Speaker 1: your way that then you have to That's still energy 326 00:12:58,161 --> 00:13:01,161 Speaker 1: that you're consuming and taking on being online. Yeah, it's 327 00:13:01,201 --> 00:13:04,441 Speaker 1: an energy exchange when you're communicating with a bunch of strangers, 328 00:13:04,481 --> 00:13:07,041 Speaker 1: whether that's hundreds thousands or tens of thousands, it's a 329 00:13:07,041 --> 00:13:09,481 Speaker 1: lot to take on. So there's all that to navigate 330 00:13:09,521 --> 00:13:11,681 Speaker 1: as well, because you could be validating yourself and then 331 00:13:12,081 --> 00:13:14,641 Speaker 1: you know, fifty people swipe up and say something awful. 332 00:13:14,721 --> 00:13:18,121 Speaker 3: It's like, oh gosh, you raise your expectation, probably subconsciously 333 00:13:18,441 --> 00:13:19,561 Speaker 3: for you because you like a they're telling me I 334 00:13:19,601 --> 00:13:20,241 Speaker 3: should be doing this. 335 00:13:20,321 --> 00:13:23,241 Speaker 1: Especially if you're already feeling in a low vibe move 336 00:13:23,281 --> 00:13:25,481 Speaker 1: when you're so sure of yourself, like it doesn't really 337 00:13:25,521 --> 00:13:27,561 Speaker 1: shake you, but you're going through a hard time, You've 338 00:13:27,561 --> 00:13:29,281 Speaker 1: got a bit of self doubt and you're navigating some 339 00:13:29,361 --> 00:13:31,641 Speaker 1: new things like I am now I'm definitely a bit 340 00:13:31,681 --> 00:13:34,321 Speaker 1: more sensitive. I'm not as sure of myself right now. 341 00:13:34,361 --> 00:13:36,281 Speaker 1: I'm feeling a little bit lost a little bit stark. 342 00:13:36,281 --> 00:13:38,321 Speaker 1: I'm trying to navigate a new way of being, a 343 00:13:38,361 --> 00:13:41,681 Speaker 1: new way of doing. It's like undoing having my foot 344 00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,441 Speaker 1: in the pedal and running and showing up a certain 345 00:13:43,481 --> 00:13:45,761 Speaker 1: way that doesn't feel good anymore. Now I'm getting to 346 00:13:45,761 --> 00:13:48,441 Speaker 1: know myself in this new normal. So when you've got 347 00:13:48,481 --> 00:13:50,521 Speaker 1: the outside noise, it's quite a lot. And I haven't 348 00:13:50,561 --> 00:13:53,801 Speaker 1: been able to show up as much online because I've 349 00:13:53,921 --> 00:13:55,481 Speaker 1: just got to be with me for now, you know, 350 00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:59,201 Speaker 1: invalidate myself and my experience and not let the outside 351 00:13:59,241 --> 00:14:01,201 Speaker 1: noise get to in my head because. 352 00:14:01,481 --> 00:14:02,561 Speaker 4: Maybe you question yourself more. 353 00:14:02,601 --> 00:14:04,041 Speaker 3: You know what you want, you know what you think. 354 00:14:04,161 --> 00:14:06,321 Speaker 3: Then people start even things that you're like, oh shit, 355 00:14:06,441 --> 00:14:07,201 Speaker 3: is that what I want? 356 00:14:07,441 --> 00:14:07,641 Speaker 1: Yeah? 357 00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,481 Speaker 4: But I think if you read too much what so 358 00:14:09,561 --> 00:14:10,441 Speaker 4: many people. 359 00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:12,641 Speaker 1: It's like anything, if you listen to the news and 360 00:14:12,681 --> 00:14:15,121 Speaker 1: the media and you're always scrolling on TikTok and really 361 00:14:15,161 --> 00:14:18,361 Speaker 1: like it's information that your brain is consuming. When you 362 00:14:18,401 --> 00:14:20,001 Speaker 1: stop and slow and you can be with your thoughts. 363 00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:21,521 Speaker 1: And that's what I did in hospital. When I was 364 00:14:21,521 --> 00:14:23,561 Speaker 1: in there, I just wanted to be with my thoughts. 365 00:14:23,961 --> 00:14:25,921 Speaker 1: What's coming up for me? How am I feeling about 366 00:14:25,921 --> 00:14:27,641 Speaker 1: all of this. What are my options? 367 00:14:28,241 --> 00:14:28,281 Speaker 3: Was? 368 00:14:28,281 --> 00:14:30,521 Speaker 1: When you're distracting and numbing out and listening and reading 369 00:14:30,561 --> 00:14:32,561 Speaker 1: everything else, you can get so noisy. 370 00:14:32,241 --> 00:14:34,641 Speaker 4: And then you question things mm hmm, and you feel 371 00:14:34,681 --> 00:14:36,241 Speaker 4: so out of tune with who you are. 372 00:14:36,721 --> 00:14:39,521 Speaker 1: Is ungrounding a word? So ungrounding to be on social 373 00:14:39,601 --> 00:14:40,121 Speaker 1: ord would. 374 00:14:39,961 --> 00:14:41,761 Speaker 4: You call that? If you're not grounded, you're lifted. 375 00:14:42,401 --> 00:14:46,241 Speaker 1: Yeah, like it's regulated and disregulated. Yeah maybe. But when 376 00:14:46,281 --> 00:14:48,761 Speaker 1: you just sit with yourself and you stop and you 377 00:14:48,801 --> 00:14:51,321 Speaker 1: are slow, and you're tuned into yourself rather than tuned 378 00:14:51,361 --> 00:14:54,041 Speaker 1: into your phone and other people, you can really get 379 00:14:54,081 --> 00:14:56,441 Speaker 1: clarity on what's feeling good for you. So true, and 380 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,561 Speaker 1: take the time to validate yourself. You need time and 381 00:14:58,601 --> 00:15:01,201 Speaker 1: space to do that. Yeah, you're busy distracting. You can't 382 00:15:01,241 --> 00:15:02,761 Speaker 1: meet yourself where you need to be met. 383 00:15:02,841 --> 00:15:04,481 Speaker 4: That's so true. Like if things are coming up and 384 00:15:04,481 --> 00:15:06,921 Speaker 4: you're being emotion you know you're not feeling like you like, 385 00:15:07,001 --> 00:15:08,081 Speaker 4: that's another one thing to do. 386 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:11,921 Speaker 1: Stop, stop slow, Yeah, fill your cut back up and 387 00:15:12,001 --> 00:15:14,681 Speaker 1: just be with yourself and validate it and acknowledge it, 388 00:15:15,041 --> 00:15:17,281 Speaker 1: have awareness around it all. And then you've got clarage 389 00:15:17,281 --> 00:15:19,201 Speaker 1: to be like, Okay, what's my next move. Yeah, if 390 00:15:19,241 --> 00:15:21,561 Speaker 1: you don't do that, you're just gonna be fucking floating 391 00:15:21,601 --> 00:15:25,281 Speaker 1: around like a chicken with my head. Bad analogy, but 392 00:15:25,321 --> 00:15:27,001 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? What is it running around 393 00:15:27,041 --> 00:15:29,081 Speaker 1: like a headless chort kit? That's what I meant. 394 00:15:31,441 --> 00:15:32,801 Speaker 4: I saw this post. 395 00:15:32,561 --> 00:15:35,161 Speaker 3: On Instagram and I wanted to read it out. So 396 00:15:35,321 --> 00:15:39,241 Speaker 3: it's from the page the brain Coach, So it says 397 00:15:39,401 --> 00:15:42,681 Speaker 3: self validation. Sounds like I was right to stand up 398 00:15:42,721 --> 00:15:46,041 Speaker 3: for myself. I did the best I could with what 399 00:15:46,161 --> 00:15:49,241 Speaker 3: I knew at that time. I am proud of me 400 00:15:49,761 --> 00:15:54,001 Speaker 3: for challenging my fears slashed outs. Today has been a 401 00:15:54,081 --> 00:15:58,441 Speaker 3: difficult day for me. I can do hard things. It's 402 00:15:58,441 --> 00:16:00,961 Speaker 3: okay to say no to something I really didn't want 403 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:04,881 Speaker 3: to do. I feel overworked and need to prioritize rest. 404 00:16:05,481 --> 00:16:08,721 Speaker 3: I tried my best and that is enough. I'm feeling 405 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:13,801 Speaker 3: upset right now. I feel misunderstood. That was a difficult conversation, 406 00:16:14,121 --> 00:16:16,641 Speaker 3: but it was needed. Not everyone will like me, and 407 00:16:16,681 --> 00:16:17,361 Speaker 3: that's okay. 408 00:16:17,881 --> 00:16:19,881 Speaker 4: Today was tough. What do I need to do to 409 00:16:19,921 --> 00:16:22,401 Speaker 4: feel better? And that last one Today was tough? What 410 00:16:22,401 --> 00:16:23,401 Speaker 4: do I need to do to feel better? 411 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,121 Speaker 3: I feel like that's where it all kind of starts, 412 00:16:25,241 --> 00:16:26,601 Speaker 3: like when you start to feel like there's days that 413 00:16:26,641 --> 00:16:28,401 Speaker 3: are rolling on and it's like not feeling aligned, to 414 00:16:28,481 --> 00:16:32,521 Speaker 3: not feeling aligned, not feeling aligned, it's like, okay, that. 415 00:16:32,641 --> 00:16:36,521 Speaker 1: I feel misunderstood is really validating in a conversation, because 416 00:16:36,561 --> 00:16:38,281 Speaker 1: if you need to have a hard conversation or this 417 00:16:38,441 --> 00:16:41,441 Speaker 1: conflict or disagreements whatever, how many times in your life 418 00:16:41,481 --> 00:16:43,081 Speaker 1: have you been like, I'm fine, that's all good. Yep, 419 00:16:43,121 --> 00:16:43,601 Speaker 1: no worries. 420 00:16:43,761 --> 00:16:44,601 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, no worries. 421 00:16:44,681 --> 00:16:46,161 Speaker 1: Yep, no worries. Like just go with what they say 422 00:16:46,161 --> 00:16:48,401 Speaker 1: because you don't want to ruffle the feathers and upset anyone. 423 00:16:48,721 --> 00:16:50,041 Speaker 1: But to actually look some of the eye and say, 424 00:16:50,041 --> 00:16:53,241 Speaker 1: I actually feel really misunderstood by you, that's so validating. 425 00:16:53,681 --> 00:16:55,721 Speaker 1: You're validating that I do not feel good in this moment, 426 00:16:55,761 --> 00:16:58,241 Speaker 1: and let's chat about it. Yeah. Such a good example, 427 00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,721 Speaker 1: isn't it. Yeah, even just today has been a difficult 428 00:17:00,801 --> 00:17:04,201 Speaker 1: day for me, that's so validating just for yourself. Yeah, 429 00:17:04,241 --> 00:17:06,840 Speaker 1: today sucked, it was hard. I did not do my 430 00:17:06,881 --> 00:17:09,321 Speaker 1: best today. But tomorrow's new day. You know, you don't 431 00:17:09,321 --> 00:17:11,081 Speaker 1: have to sit there, but just to acknowledge it. 432 00:17:11,201 --> 00:17:14,561 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a hard day, and I feel like too, 433 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,080 Speaker 3: like sometimes when you've got like shit going on and 434 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,120 Speaker 3: things happening, Like even yesterday, but we had a bit 435 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,561 Speaker 3: of a hectic afternoon with the kids, and you know, 436 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,281 Speaker 3: I was like rush trying to do like work and 437 00:17:23,281 --> 00:17:25,921 Speaker 3: stuff like that, and Colonel'll having this conversation. 438 00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:27,641 Speaker 4: He's like, I need to make school lunches, blah blah blah. 439 00:17:27,681 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 4: He had so much stuff going, and I was like, Babe, 440 00:17:29,561 --> 00:17:30,561 Speaker 4: just order them tuck shop. 441 00:17:30,761 --> 00:17:33,881 Speaker 1: Yeah, just like, let go of it. So good, just order. 442 00:17:35,001 --> 00:17:37,041 Speaker 4: Sometimes you've just got to like, let go. 443 00:17:37,201 --> 00:17:39,841 Speaker 1: That's such a good select let. 444 00:17:39,681 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 3: Go of trying to do everything, because sometimes we just 445 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:43,521 Speaker 3: can't do it all. 446 00:17:44,201 --> 00:17:46,681 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so true. 447 00:17:46,681 --> 00:17:48,680 Speaker 1: Hate we do that with uber It. Sometimes we're like 448 00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:51,241 Speaker 1: we didn't pick up something to cook or whatever, and 449 00:17:51,521 --> 00:17:53,521 Speaker 1: she's clinging and I'm wanting to cook, and we're like, no, 450 00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:54,081 Speaker 1: we just. 451 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,761 Speaker 3: Orders so much easier to take so much pressure off. 452 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:02,440 Speaker 3: Another thing, too, is like acknowledging our accomplishments. I feel 453 00:18:02,441 --> 00:18:04,921 Speaker 3: like I'm getting better at this as I get. 454 00:18:04,721 --> 00:18:06,521 Speaker 1: Old, celebrating the winds. 455 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,960 Speaker 3: Celebrating the winds like acknowledging yourself and taking moments of 456 00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:12,160 Speaker 3: being like even at the end of me doing the 457 00:18:12,241 --> 00:18:14,440 Speaker 3: daily vogging, like I should take a moment at the 458 00:18:14,481 --> 00:18:16,401 Speaker 3: end and be like, God, yeah, okay, you did a girl. 459 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,200 Speaker 3: I set myself a challenge for thirty days that I 460 00:18:18,241 --> 00:18:20,321 Speaker 3: wanted to do, and like even you when you do 461 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:23,441 Speaker 3: your challenges, just taking moment to validate and be like, yeah, 462 00:18:23,441 --> 00:18:24,841 Speaker 3: I just did something hard and I'm proud of. 463 00:18:24,761 --> 00:18:27,441 Speaker 1: Me, so so good, Because how USh to we celebrate 464 00:18:27,441 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 1: our best friends and our kids and our partners for everything. 465 00:18:29,721 --> 00:18:32,321 Speaker 1: It's like, oh, I know, but to ourselves we kind 466 00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:33,680 Speaker 1: of like just park. 467 00:18:33,441 --> 00:18:34,561 Speaker 4: A difference too. 468 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 3: Is like I feel like for my friends and my kids, 469 00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:40,321 Speaker 3: I feel it, I feel it in my heart. 470 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,680 Speaker 4: I feel so proud, I feel so happy for them, 471 00:18:42,761 --> 00:18:43,321 Speaker 4: I feel so this. 472 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,400 Speaker 3: I feel so that we need to just sometimes just 473 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,521 Speaker 3: take a moment for ourself and feel like feel it, 474 00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:49,601 Speaker 3: like I'm proud. 475 00:18:49,321 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 1: Of you, I love you. 476 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,041 Speaker 4: You've done an amazing job. Stay's been hard. Like yeah, 477 00:18:53,281 --> 00:18:56,241 Speaker 4: feel those same feelings you feel for everyone else. 478 00:18:56,441 --> 00:18:58,521 Speaker 1: Yes, my myself. I've read something the other day and 479 00:18:58,561 --> 00:19:01,360 Speaker 1: it was like we get scared to share that we're 480 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:05,041 Speaker 1: great because we're scared that we will get hate. Yeah, 481 00:19:05,041 --> 00:19:07,241 Speaker 1: and I find that online, like I find it really 482 00:19:07,281 --> 00:19:10,920 Speaker 1: inspiring when you know, influencers or just public profiles, just anyone. 483 00:19:10,961 --> 00:19:12,961 Speaker 1: It's like celebrating that they's got a job promotion, they've 484 00:19:12,961 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 1: bought this fancy in new car, or they're saved with 485 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,921 Speaker 1: this handbag. I'm like, fuck yeah, But I would never 486 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:19,640 Speaker 1: if I was to buy a new handbag or getting 487 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,241 Speaker 1: new carda like, I think I would feel like I'm 488 00:19:22,281 --> 00:19:24,920 Speaker 1: bragging or triggering other people, Like That's what would go 489 00:19:24,961 --> 00:19:27,561 Speaker 1: through my head syndrome, Yeah, and get slammed, Like I 490 00:19:27,561 --> 00:19:30,041 Speaker 1: would get scared to share that I've done great and 491 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,360 Speaker 1: earned this and worked hard of that because I know 492 00:19:32,441 --> 00:19:33,961 Speaker 1: that I would get a lot of hate and backlash 493 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:37,201 Speaker 1: when I see other people doing I'm like, fuck, yeah, 494 00:19:37,241 --> 00:19:39,961 Speaker 1: it's interesting, Hey how we celebrate other people but not ourselves. 495 00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:42,881 Speaker 1: And I'm super aware of it now, but yeah, it's 496 00:19:42,921 --> 00:19:43,880 Speaker 1: just interesting. 497 00:19:44,241 --> 00:19:47,880 Speaker 3: It is interesting society. It's just the way our brains 498 00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 3: have been molded to conditions. But it's like just that 499 00:19:50,681 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 3: old question why, like why shouldn't I be celebrating myself? 500 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 1: And the more that we are sure of who we 501 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,681 Speaker 1: are and our attentions and all of that. Like, as 502 00:19:57,681 --> 00:20:00,360 Speaker 1: I said right now, I'm quite fragile, but normally when 503 00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:02,200 Speaker 1: you are so sure of yourself that stuff like you 504 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,361 Speaker 1: wouldn't care what people say. Yeah, you know, but when 505 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,001 Speaker 1: you are feeling fragile and you're not super confident and 506 00:20:07,041 --> 00:20:10,961 Speaker 1: you're listening to the outside noise, you get scared. Yeah. 507 00:20:11,041 --> 00:20:13,521 Speaker 4: Yeah, just fair enough to on my world. 508 00:20:13,521 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 1: Can be brutal, can't be rude. 509 00:20:16,761 --> 00:20:18,841 Speaker 3: And another thing too, I feel like if you've been 510 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,761 Speaker 3: brought up in a household where this hasn't been something 511 00:20:21,801 --> 00:20:24,321 Speaker 3: that's been practiced, can feel really fucking uncomfortable. 512 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,801 Speaker 4: Yeah. So true, you're really uncomfortable to actually be like, oh, 513 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,481 Speaker 4: I'm doing good. Like if you were not told you're 514 00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:31,400 Speaker 4: good enough for like great job on that you should 515 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,321 Speaker 4: be proud of yourself, or oh you're having a hard 516 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,001 Speaker 4: day today, if you weren't shown that. 517 00:20:34,961 --> 00:20:36,281 Speaker 1: Were you're told you're brag I think a lot of 518 00:20:36,321 --> 00:20:38,161 Speaker 1: us were told that we're bragging. You know, don't look 519 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:41,080 Speaker 1: like a bragger? Yeah, make other people feel crap. Yeah, 520 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:43,681 Speaker 1: but it's like, no, you should celebrate you. Yeah, there's 521 00:20:43,681 --> 00:20:45,720 Speaker 1: a big shift in that now because we've got more 522 00:20:45,721 --> 00:20:48,201 Speaker 1: awareness and knowledge around it. I love it. Yeah, Yeah, 523 00:20:48,241 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 1: it's good for our kids. 524 00:20:49,321 --> 00:20:50,241 Speaker 4: It is good for our kids. 525 00:20:50,281 --> 00:20:55,200 Speaker 1: We're just breaking the cycles. That's it. Go ask oh 526 00:20:55,441 --> 00:20:56,481 Speaker 1: thanks for joining us. 527 00:20:56,721 --> 00:20:58,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, we'll see you guys on Monday. 528 00:20:58,961 --> 00:21:00,321 Speaker 1: I can say Wednesday, but Monday. 529 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:05,400 Speaker 3: Yeah bye.