Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome back to Bounce Forward with Me, Tip Paul.
Speaker 1: I'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: on which I'm recording this podcast.
Speaker 2: There were wondering.
Speaker 1: People of the cooler nation. I pay my respects to
Speaker 1: elders past and present. Today we have part two of
Speaker 1: my chat with Rachel Corvette. Let's get into it. So
Speaker 1: you're a pretty fit and healthy person. Did having a
Speaker 1: baby really shift your health and fitness routine at all? Like?
Speaker 2: Did it change? Yeah? I mean, how do you squeeze
Speaker 2: that in?
Speaker 1: I don't And that's what I hate, honestly, Like, that's
Speaker 1: the thing I missed the most. You know, the gym
Speaker 1: for me was all mental, never physical. The physical stuff
Speaker 1: was a benefit, you know that, but it was all
Speaker 1: about mental. It was about me being in a space
Speaker 1: where I don't have to think about anything. And I'm
Speaker 1: a class person. I like to go and do classes.
Speaker 1: I like to get told me to do check out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's exactly right. And you know, through COVID, I was
Speaker 1: doing a lot of stuff online, so I had tried that,
Speaker 1: but it just doesn't have the same circuit breaker for
Speaker 1: me as going somewhere else, not in my home, but
Speaker 1: going somewhere else and being told what to do by somebody,
Speaker 1: you know. So I sort of struggled with kind of
Speaker 1: mixing things in. I'm trying to find the right way
Speaker 1: to do that now because I don't have any space
Speaker 1: in my week to do any exercise, and that is
Speaker 1: definitely something that I'm noticing.
Speaker 2: One thing I'm trying to do now.
Speaker 1: Is that I used to always get up really early,
Speaker 1: and to be honest, through.
Speaker 2: Winter, I just gave it up because I was so naked.
Speaker 1: But I've gotten back onto the train of getting up
Speaker 1: at five because then that at least gives me an
Speaker 1: hour before Olivia wakes up. I can do a tiny
Speaker 1: bit of yoga, you know, maybe just sometimes I'll go
Speaker 1: for a walk around the block even though she's asleep
Speaker 1: in bed. Yeah yeah, yeah, but I'm like, you know,
Speaker 1: I've got the thing, oh on my phone, I can
Speaker 1: see her like whatever.
Speaker 2: So just having a little bit of space there.
Speaker 1: And then my goal for next year is to work out,
Speaker 1: you know how I fit that into my life. And
Speaker 1: I do think what I need to do is I
Speaker 1: just need to get better at doing stuff at home
Speaker 1: because the idea of going out that might be the
Speaker 1: way that I disconnect the best, but I just don't
Speaker 1: have space for it in my life at the moment.
Speaker 1: You do have to like just trade it off a
Speaker 1: little bit. What can you do totally? So yeah, that's
Speaker 1: an important thing for me next year is to work
Speaker 1: out how to get regular fitness locked into my week
Speaker 1: because that is just a game changer for me mentally.
Speaker 2: It just makes all the difference. Yeah, it really does.
Speaker 2: And what about postpartum me?
Speaker 1: Because this is bounce forward and I talk a lot
Speaker 1: to women about their postpartum journeys and that they bounce forward,
Speaker 1: not bounce back.
Speaker 2: What was your bounce forward? Like I think?
Speaker 1: I mean after I had the kid, I had a
Speaker 1: rough trot in the first few months, like I particularly
Speaker 1: the first six weeks, I just did not RECOGNI myself honestly,
Speaker 1: and particularly in hospital. I had sort of six days there.
Speaker 1: I chose to go private because I thought that would
Speaker 1: be the best option for me in terms of having
Speaker 1: support on the other side, because I knew I didn't
Speaker 1: have anybody to come home too, So I thought, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: I can stay in this hospital for five days. I'll
Speaker 1: have staff that know what they're doing and I'll have support,
Speaker 1: and it didn't quite work out that way for me,
Speaker 1: and so what ended up happening was I was basically
Speaker 1: alone for six days, which was.
Speaker 2: Not healthy mentally.
Speaker 1: And so when I came out the other side, because
Speaker 1: I'd had the C section, you know, you can't do
Speaker 1: anything for six weeks.
Speaker 2: I couldn't drive.
Speaker 1: I'd live in an apartment with no elevator, so I
Speaker 1: couldn't take the pram downstairs. I felt very trapped and
Speaker 1: stuck in this space, and I really really struggled, and
Speaker 1: a lot of points I kind of thought to myself, Ah,
Speaker 1: I was a really capable person. Has that changed now?
Speaker 1: Like is this me forever? Like I really worried that
Speaker 1: that was going to be me. So I think for
Speaker 1: me coming out of that phase, I did definitely get
Speaker 1: a lot of extra help over that time because I
Speaker 1: was very conscious that I was on a pretty sure
Speaker 1: path to postnatal depression, and I felt, once I'm in this,
Speaker 1: it's going to take a lot longer to get out
Speaker 1: of it, So I need to do everything I can
Speaker 1: to try and either stop it or like go as
Speaker 1: short a path into it as I possibly can. And so,
Speaker 1: you know, with the help of some friends and things,
Speaker 1: like my best mate kind of stepped in. I kind
Speaker 1: of got to the stage where I was like, I
Speaker 1: can't be alone for a day, you know, I need
Speaker 1: to have people around, and that's not me.
Speaker 2: I'm like, leave me alone for a week, and I
Speaker 2: am happy as larry.
Speaker 1: So they I sort of had a roster on, you know,
Speaker 1: board with people coming out. So once I kind of
Speaker 1: came through the other side of that, I think you
Speaker 1: come out of that and you just feel so accomplished
Speaker 1: in some ways, you know, because you realize, oh, that
Speaker 1: was a really dark place. And once I sort of
Speaker 1: started to see some glimmers of light with Olivia and
Speaker 1: she wasn't just a blob that was screaming at me
Speaker 1: all the time, and you know, you sort of start
Speaker 1: to get in a rhythm of things and you start
Speaker 1: to kind of understand what their cries mean and you
Speaker 1: can you know, then I think it was really you know,
Speaker 1: my focus has really just been on how do I
Speaker 1: focus on her as much as I can, But then
Speaker 1: also realize that for me, the other aspects of my
Speaker 1: life are very very important. My work, my life, you
Speaker 1: know that kind of stuff, That stuff really feeds me,
Speaker 1: feeds my soul as sad as that sounds like, I
Speaker 1: do you know that stuff matters to me, you know,
Speaker 1: the work that I do. So I think my kind
Speaker 1: of bounce forward and my focus is really on making
Speaker 1: sure that I maintain and achieve those things while simultaneously
Speaker 1: trying to be the best I can. And I do
Speaker 1: think that actually achieving those things and doing those things
Speaker 1: makes me a better mum, you know, because I'm a
Speaker 1: happier mum when I am still doing those kind of
Speaker 1: things that I'm doing for me and ultimately for us,
Speaker 1: because some of it's like about you know, finances and
Speaker 1: making sure we can have the life that we can
Speaker 1: we want to have. But yeah, that's the kind of
Speaker 1: focus for me is how do I manage to not
Speaker 1: lose myself in this so that I can be the
Speaker 1: best version of myself for myself as well as for her.
Speaker 1: And So in that time, did you learn any kind
Speaker 1: of coping mechanisms for mental health that you've brought through it?
Speaker 2: Like, have you continued on.
Speaker 1: With any little tiny things that have helped with mental
Speaker 1: health since?
Speaker 2: Do you check in on that regularly?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think one thing I took away from that,
Speaker 1: and to be honest, I haven't really put into practice
Speaker 1: because I'm really bad at it, but it's very much
Speaker 1: in my mind. Is I I did not put my
Speaker 1: hand up enough, and I'd do that in my whole life,
Speaker 1: But in my other life, outside of that moment, I
Speaker 1: don't ever feel like I need help. It's not that
Speaker 1: I don't put my hand up because I think I
Speaker 1: don't want to bother people. I actually there's barely anything
Speaker 1: in my life that I've ever done that would probably
Speaker 1: be much easier if I had help that I've ever thought.
Speaker 1: You know what, I can't just do this by myself,
Speaker 1: like I always just feel that way. But when I
Speaker 1: was in that spot, I really couldn't ask for help.
Speaker 1: I didn't know how to what I really responded well to,
Speaker 1: and what I needed at that time was friends who
Speaker 1: were just like, shut up, I'm coming over. Stop protesting.
Speaker 1: I'll be there in fifteen minutes. You give the kid
Speaker 1: to me, you go for a walk. I don't want
Speaker 1: to hear anything from you. Don't even say hi when
Speaker 1: I get to the door. You know, because I didn't
Speaker 1: know how to ask for help, I just needed someone
Speaker 1: to force it upon me, and then I'd be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: the pressure is off, they really want to do this,
Speaker 1: because in my mind, I'm like, do you really want
Speaker 1: to be doing this? Like do you You've got a lot
Speaker 1: of things of your own to worry about. I don't
Speaker 1: want to be burdening you, you know. So I think
Speaker 1: that's something I was very mindful of because I just
Speaker 1: wasn't very good at accepting help, and I should have
Speaker 1: asked for more of it, if I'm honest, you know,
Speaker 1: I probably I don't know if I would have come
Speaker 1: out of the woods any quicker, but I definitely needed
Speaker 1: more help than I had, and I didn't. I didn't
Speaker 1: ask for it. I was just too worried to burden
Speaker 1: other people and those kind of things. And that was
Speaker 1: the first time in my life that I was like, actually,
Speaker 1: I do need help. I can't do this by myself.
Speaker 1: And so that's something I just want to be more
Speaker 1: mindful of because one of the things that you realize
Speaker 1: is that people actually like to be asked to help.
Speaker 1: When somebody if I say to my best mate all
Speaker 1: the time, there would be nothing better in my life
Speaker 1: than if you called me and woke me up at
Speaker 1: three am and said you needed me, because I'd be like,
Speaker 1: where do I need to be Oh my god, I'm important.
Speaker 1: I can't let me sort it out. I can help you,
Speaker 1: you know, And people feel that way, but I forget that.
Speaker 1: The way I feel about helping other people is what
Speaker 1: other people might feel about helping me. So I think
Speaker 1: that's something that I want to be mindful of moving home. Yes,
Speaker 1: and there'd be a lot of solo mums out there
Speaker 1: listening to this now. I have friends who have gone
Speaker 1: through IVF and their solo mums too, and they'll be listening.
Speaker 2: So would that be your top tip ask for help?
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I'd say just try and put it in
Speaker 1: place before you go into it and overestimate what kind
Speaker 1: of help you'll meet. I underestimated. If you were a
Speaker 1: very capable person who is used to being able to
Speaker 1: juggle a lot on your own, that is fantastic, but
Speaker 1: you will not be the same person on the other
Speaker 1: side of this, Like you shouldn't be imagining your current
Speaker 1: capable together able to do everything self as the person
Speaker 1: that you will be when your baby comes out and
Speaker 1: you are solo with that child.
Speaker 2: You know, I was not the same person on the
Speaker 2: other side of that.
Speaker 1: So if I had my time again, I would definitely Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would definitely get more help, and I would get
Speaker 1: more help in hospital. I think if you're going to
Speaker 1: stay in hospital. I didn't have anyone there because I
Speaker 1: thought the staff would be my people there. But the
Speaker 1: staff are busy. There was more people's patients in the
Speaker 1: hospital than they could deal with. So I just kind
Speaker 1: of got left to my own devices because they were
Speaker 1: sort of like, well, every other room has a partner
Speaker 1: in it, and so they just assumed there was somebody
Speaker 1: in my room basically, And so I think having somebody
Speaker 1: in the hospital with you during that time is really important,
Speaker 1: really important.
Speaker 2: So it's very exciting.
Speaker 1: You have released your very own podcast called Me and
Speaker 1: My Tiny Human. So exciting and this is going to
Speaker 1: help so many women. Can you talk to me about
Speaker 1: this podcast? Yes, So I started it because I just
Speaker 1: get asked so many questions. I get asked a lot
Speaker 1: of questions from women who want to do it, and
Speaker 1: I don't think they know anybody else who has done it,
Speaker 1: and I think it's really hard to work out is
Speaker 1: this actually possible if you can't see somebody else doing it.
Speaker 1: So part of it was about kind of this is
Speaker 1: just a bit of a proof of life if you
Speaker 1: are wondering whether you can survive a week, and when
Speaker 1: you're by yourself with a baby, like I'll be here
Speaker 1: every week, so you'll hear a voice and you'll see
Speaker 1: I haven't died, you know.
Speaker 2: Through the week.
Speaker 1: But also there's there's a lot of people, particularly those
Speaker 1: in relationships, who I think have a bit of a.
Speaker 2: It's bad to say, but a bit of a car.
Speaker 1: Crash fascination with my life, you know, when you drive
Speaker 1: bast something and you're like, I can't look away. So
Speaker 1: because they can't quite get their head around like what
Speaker 1: kind of a crapshoot my life would be and how
Speaker 1: I'm actually managing to do it. So I guess it's
Speaker 1: a it's a bit of that as well, because I
Speaker 1: think there's a bit of fascination if you aren't doing
Speaker 1: it by yourself about like how does it get done? So, yeah,
Speaker 1: I suppose I've wanted it to be a space where
Speaker 1: people could ask questions as well. I've had a lot
Speaker 1: of questions submitted since I started the show, and there's
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff you're not allowed to ask, not
Speaker 1: allowed to ask, you know, in society that I'm like,
Speaker 1: you actually can ask it and if, and I'm happy
Speaker 1: to answer it because there are there are a lot
Speaker 1: of questions about the process and the donors and how
Speaker 1: you go through all that and how you do it
Speaker 1: on the other side, and if it's something that you're
Speaker 1: thinking about, I.
Speaker 2: Think it's it's become so.
Speaker 1: Much more of a thing amongst women, and any kind
Speaker 1: of assurance that I can give people that like, this
Speaker 1: is actually possible and a path for you, rather than
Speaker 1: thinking to yourself, can I meet someone in five minutes
Speaker 1: that I'm going to be stuck to for the rest
Speaker 1: of my life That isn't the person that I want
Speaker 1: to be stuck to, Like, just do it on your own. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's awesome. Rachel, thank you so much for joining me
Speaker 1: on Bounce Forward. I think you're just doing the best,
Speaker 1: the most amazing job in helping other women who want
Speaker 1: to go on this journey as well.
Speaker 2: So thank you so much, pleasure, Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for listening to Bounce Forward. I love
Speaker 1: having your company. So dm me on Instagram at tifhol
Speaker 1: Underscore XO and let me know what topics you'd love
Speaker 1: me to cover. Don't forget to rate and review me
Speaker 1: on your podcast out speak Soon, Happy Days,