WEBVTT - Rachel Corbett Was on a Sure Path to Post-Natal Depression

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<v Speaker 1>Hi, and welcome back to Bounce Forward with Me, Tip Paul.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land

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<v Speaker 1>on which I'm recording this podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>There were wondering.

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<v Speaker 1>People of the cooler nation. I pay my respects to

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<v Speaker 1>elders past and present. Today we have part two of

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<v Speaker 1>my chat with Rachel Corvette. Let's get into it. So

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<v Speaker 1>you're a pretty fit and healthy person. Did having a

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<v Speaker 1>baby really shift your health and fitness routine at all? Like?

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<v Speaker 2>Did it change? Yeah? I mean, how do you squeeze

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<v Speaker 2>that in?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't And that's what I hate, honestly, Like, that's

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<v Speaker 1>the thing I missed the most. You know, the gym

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<v Speaker 1>for me was all mental, never physical. The physical stuff

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<v Speaker 1>was a benefit, you know that, but it was all

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<v Speaker 1>about mental. It was about me being in a space

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<v Speaker 1>where I don't have to think about anything. And I'm

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<v Speaker 1>a class person. I like to go and do classes.

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<v Speaker 1>I like to get told me to do check out. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's exactly right. And you know, through COVID, I was

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<v Speaker 1>doing a lot of stuff online, so I had tried that,

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<v Speaker 1>but it just doesn't have the same circuit breaker for

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<v Speaker 1>me as going somewhere else, not in my home, but

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<v Speaker 1>going somewhere else and being told what to do by somebody,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. So I sort of struggled with kind of

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<v Speaker 1>mixing things in. I'm trying to find the right way

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<v Speaker 1>to do that now because I don't have any space

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<v Speaker 1>in my week to do any exercise, and that is

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<v Speaker 1>definitely something that I'm noticing.

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<v Speaker 2>One thing I'm trying to do now.

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<v Speaker 1>Is that I used to always get up really early,

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<v Speaker 1>and to be honest, through.

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<v Speaker 2>Winter, I just gave it up because I was so naked.

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<v Speaker 1>But I've gotten back onto the train of getting up

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<v Speaker 1>at five because then that at least gives me an

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<v Speaker 1>hour before Olivia wakes up. I can do a tiny

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<v Speaker 1>bit of yoga, you know, maybe just sometimes I'll go

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<v Speaker 1>for a walk around the block even though she's asleep

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<v Speaker 1>in bed. Yeah yeah, yeah, but I'm like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I've got the thing, oh on my phone, I can

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<v Speaker 1>see her like whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>So just having a little bit of space there.

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<v Speaker 1>And then my goal for next year is to work out,

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<v Speaker 1>you know how I fit that into my life. And

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<v Speaker 1>I do think what I need to do is I

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<v Speaker 1>just need to get better at doing stuff at home

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<v Speaker 1>because the idea of going out that might be the

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<v Speaker 1>way that I disconnect the best, but I just don't

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<v Speaker 1>have space for it in my life at the moment.

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<v Speaker 1>You do have to like just trade it off a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit. What can you do totally? So yeah, that's

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<v Speaker 1>an important thing for me next year is to work

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<v Speaker 1>out how to get regular fitness locked into my week

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<v Speaker 1>because that is just a game changer for me mentally.

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<v Speaker 2>It just makes all the difference. Yeah, it really does.

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<v Speaker 2>And what about postpartum me?

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<v Speaker 1>Because this is bounce forward and I talk a lot

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<v Speaker 1>to women about their postpartum journeys and that they bounce forward,

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<v Speaker 1>not bounce back.

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<v Speaker 2>What was your bounce forward? Like I think?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean after I had the kid, I had a

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<v Speaker 1>rough trot in the first few months, like I particularly

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<v Speaker 1>the first six weeks, I just did not RECOGNI myself honestly,

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<v Speaker 1>and particularly in hospital. I had sort of six days there.

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<v Speaker 1>I chose to go private because I thought that would

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<v Speaker 1>be the best option for me in terms of having

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<v Speaker 1>support on the other side, because I knew I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>have anybody to come home too, So I thought, Okay, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I can stay in this hospital for five days. I'll

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<v Speaker 1>have staff that know what they're doing and I'll have support,

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<v Speaker 1>and it didn't quite work out that way for me,

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<v Speaker 1>and so what ended up happening was I was basically

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<v Speaker 1>alone for six days, which was.

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<v Speaker 2>Not healthy mentally.

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<v Speaker 1>And so when I came out the other side, because

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<v Speaker 1>I'd had the C section, you know, you can't do

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<v Speaker 1>anything for six weeks.

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<v Speaker 2>I couldn't drive.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd live in an apartment with no elevator, so I

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<v Speaker 1>couldn't take the pram downstairs. I felt very trapped and

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<v Speaker 1>stuck in this space, and I really really struggled, and

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of points I kind of thought to myself, Ah,

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<v Speaker 1>I was a really capable person. Has that changed now?

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<v Speaker 1>Like is this me forever? Like I really worried that

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<v Speaker 1>that was going to be me. So I think for

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<v Speaker 1>me coming out of that phase, I did definitely get

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of extra help over that time because I

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<v Speaker 1>was very conscious that I was on a pretty sure

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<v Speaker 1>path to postnatal depression, and I felt, once I'm in this,

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<v Speaker 1>it's going to take a lot longer to get out

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<v Speaker 1>of it, So I need to do everything I can

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<v Speaker 1>to try and either stop it or like go as

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<v Speaker 1>short a path into it as I possibly can. And so,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, with the help of some friends and things,

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<v Speaker 1>like my best mate kind of stepped in. I kind

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<v Speaker 1>of got to the stage where I was like, I

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<v Speaker 1>can't be alone for a day, you know, I need

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<v Speaker 1>to have people around, and that's not me.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, leave me alone for a week, and I

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<v Speaker 2>am happy as larry.

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<v Speaker 1>So they I sort of had a roster on, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>board with people coming out. So once I kind of

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<v Speaker 1>came through the other side of that, I think you

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<v Speaker 1>come out of that and you just feel so accomplished

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<v Speaker 1>in some ways, you know, because you realize, oh, that

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<v Speaker 1>was a really dark place. And once I sort of

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<v Speaker 1>started to see some glimmers of light with Olivia and

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<v Speaker 1>she wasn't just a blob that was screaming at me

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<v Speaker 1>all the time, and you know, you sort of start

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<v Speaker 1>to get in a rhythm of things and you start

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<v Speaker 1>to kind of understand what their cries mean and you

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<v Speaker 1>can you know, then I think it was really you know,

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<v Speaker 1>my focus has really just been on how do I

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<v Speaker 1>focus on her as much as I can, But then

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<v Speaker 1>also realize that for me, the other aspects of my

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<v Speaker 1>life are very very important. My work, my life, you

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<v Speaker 1>know that kind of stuff, That stuff really feeds me,

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<v Speaker 1>feeds my soul as sad as that sounds like, I

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<v Speaker 1>do you know that stuff matters to me, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>the work that I do. So I think my kind

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<v Speaker 1>of bounce forward and my focus is really on making

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<v Speaker 1>sure that I maintain and achieve those things while simultaneously

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<v Speaker 1>trying to be the best I can. And I do

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<v Speaker 1>think that actually achieving those things and doing those things

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<v Speaker 1>makes me a better mum, you know, because I'm a

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<v Speaker 1>happier mum when I am still doing those kind of

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<v Speaker 1>things that I'm doing for me and ultimately for us,

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<v Speaker 1>because some of it's like about you know, finances and

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<v Speaker 1>making sure we can have the life that we can

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<v Speaker 1>we want to have. But yeah, that's the kind of

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<v Speaker 1>focus for me is how do I manage to not

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<v Speaker 1>lose myself in this so that I can be the

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<v Speaker 1>best version of myself for myself as well as for her.

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<v Speaker 1>And So in that time, did you learn any kind

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<v Speaker 1>of coping mechanisms for mental health that you've brought through it?

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<v Speaker 2>Like, have you continued on.

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<v Speaker 1>With any little tiny things that have helped with mental

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<v Speaker 1>health since?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you check in on that regularly?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? I think one thing I took away from that,

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<v Speaker 1>and to be honest, I haven't really put into practice

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<v Speaker 1>because I'm really bad at it, but it's very much

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<v Speaker 1>in my mind. Is I I did not put my

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<v Speaker 1>hand up enough, and I'd do that in my whole life,

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<v Speaker 1>But in my other life, outside of that moment, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't ever feel like I need help. It's not that

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<v Speaker 1>I don't put my hand up because I think I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to bother people. I actually there's barely anything

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<v Speaker 1>in my life that I've ever done that would probably

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<v Speaker 1>be much easier if I had help that I've ever thought.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what, I can't just do this by myself,

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<v Speaker 1>like I always just feel that way. But when I

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<v Speaker 1>was in that spot, I really couldn't ask for help.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't know how to what I really responded well to,

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<v Speaker 1>and what I needed at that time was friends who

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<v Speaker 1>were just like, shut up, I'm coming over. Stop protesting.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll be there in fifteen minutes. You give the kid

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<v Speaker 1>to me, you go for a walk. I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to hear anything from you. Don't even say hi when

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<v Speaker 1>I get to the door. You know, because I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>know how to ask for help, I just needed someone

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<v Speaker 1>to force it upon me, and then I'd be like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>the pressure is off, they really want to do this,

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<v Speaker 1>because in my mind, I'm like, do you really want

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<v Speaker 1>to be doing this? Like do you You've got a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of things of your own to worry about. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to be burdening you, you know. So I think

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<v Speaker 1>that's something I was very mindful of because I just

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't very good at accepting help, and I should have

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<v Speaker 1>asked for more of it, if I'm honest, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I probably I don't know if I would have come

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<v Speaker 1>out of the woods any quicker, but I definitely needed

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<v Speaker 1>more help than I had, and I didn't. I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>ask for it. I was just too worried to burden

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<v Speaker 1>other people and those kind of things. And that was

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<v Speaker 1>the first time in my life that I was like, actually,

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<v Speaker 1>I do need help. I can't do this by myself.

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<v Speaker 1>And so that's something I just want to be more

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<v Speaker 1>mindful of because one of the things that you realize

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<v Speaker 1>is that people actually like to be asked to help.

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<v Speaker 1>When somebody if I say to my best mate all

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<v Speaker 1>the time, there would be nothing better in my life

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<v Speaker 1>than if you called me and woke me up at

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<v Speaker 1>three am and said you needed me, because I'd be like,

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<v Speaker 1>where do I need to be Oh my god, I'm important.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't let me sort it out. I can help you,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, And people feel that way, but I forget that.

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<v Speaker 1>The way I feel about helping other people is what

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<v Speaker 1>other people might feel about helping me. So I think

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<v Speaker 1>that's something that I want to be mindful of moving home. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>and there'd be a lot of solo mums out there

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<v Speaker 1>listening to this now. I have friends who have gone

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<v Speaker 1>through IVF and their solo mums too, and they'll be listening.

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<v Speaker 2>So would that be your top tip ask for help?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I'd say just try and put it in

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<v Speaker 1>place before you go into it and overestimate what kind

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<v Speaker 1>of help you'll meet. I underestimated. If you were a

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<v Speaker 1>very capable person who is used to being able to

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<v Speaker 1>juggle a lot on your own, that is fantastic, but

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<v Speaker 1>you will not be the same person on the other

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<v Speaker 1>side of this, Like you shouldn't be imagining your current

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<v Speaker 1>capable together able to do everything self as the person

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<v Speaker 1>that you will be when your baby comes out and

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<v Speaker 1>you are solo with that child.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I was not the same person on the

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<v Speaker 2>other side of that.

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<v Speaker 1>So if I had my time again, I would definitely Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I would definitely get more help, and I would get

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<v Speaker 1>more help in hospital. I think if you're going to

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<v Speaker 1>stay in hospital. I didn't have anyone there because I

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<v Speaker 1>thought the staff would be my people there. But the

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<v Speaker 1>staff are busy. There was more people's patients in the

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<v Speaker 1>hospital than they could deal with. So I just kind

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<v Speaker 1>of got left to my own devices because they were

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<v Speaker 1>sort of like, well, every other room has a partner

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<v Speaker 1>in it, and so they just assumed there was somebody

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<v Speaker 1>in my room basically, And so I think having somebody

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<v Speaker 1>in the hospital with you during that time is really important,

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<v Speaker 1>really important.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's very exciting.

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<v Speaker 1>You have released your very own podcast called Me and

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<v Speaker 1>My Tiny Human. So exciting and this is going to

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<v Speaker 1>help so many women. Can you talk to me about

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<v Speaker 1>this podcast? Yes, So I started it because I just

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<v Speaker 1>get asked so many questions. I get asked a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of questions from women who want to do it, and

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think they know anybody else who has done it,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think it's really hard to work out is

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<v Speaker 1>this actually possible if you can't see somebody else doing it.

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<v Speaker 1>So part of it was about kind of this is

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<v Speaker 1>just a bit of a proof of life if you

0:11:00.880 --> 0:11:03.480
<v Speaker 1>are wondering whether you can survive a week, and when

0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:05.959
<v Speaker 1>you're by yourself with a baby, like I'll be here

0:11:05.960 --> 0:11:07.880
<v Speaker 1>every week, so you'll hear a voice and you'll see

0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:09.120
<v Speaker 1>I haven't died, you know.

0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:10.200
<v Speaker 2>Through the week.

0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:14.520
<v Speaker 1>But also there's there's a lot of people, particularly those

0:11:14.520 --> 0:11:17.559
<v Speaker 1>in relationships, who I think have a bit of a.

0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:21.120
<v Speaker 2>It's bad to say, but a bit of a car.

0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:23.880
<v Speaker 1>Crash fascination with my life, you know, when you drive

0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:26.480
<v Speaker 1>bast something and you're like, I can't look away. So

0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:30.280
<v Speaker 1>because they can't quite get their head around like what

0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:32.760
<v Speaker 1>kind of a crapshoot my life would be and how

0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:35.439
<v Speaker 1>I'm actually managing to do it. So I guess it's

0:11:35.440 --> 0:11:37.160
<v Speaker 1>a it's a bit of that as well, because I

0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:39.240
<v Speaker 1>think there's a bit of fascination if you aren't doing

0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:43.520
<v Speaker 1>it by yourself about like how does it get done? So, yeah,

0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:45.360
<v Speaker 1>I suppose I've wanted it to be a space where

0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:47.400
<v Speaker 1>people could ask questions as well. I've had a lot

0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:50.040
<v Speaker 1>of questions submitted since I started the show, and there's

0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:52.040
<v Speaker 1>a lot of stuff you're not allowed to ask, not

0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:55.080
<v Speaker 1>allowed to ask, you know, in society that I'm like,

0:11:55.280 --> 0:11:58.680
<v Speaker 1>you actually can ask it and if, and I'm happy

0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:00.360
<v Speaker 1>to answer it because there are there are a lot

0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:03.079
<v Speaker 1>of questions about the process and the donors and how

0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:04.680
<v Speaker 1>you go through all that and how you do it

0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:06.319
<v Speaker 1>on the other side, and if it's something that you're

0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:07.360
<v Speaker 1>thinking about, I.

0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:09.200
<v Speaker 2>Think it's it's become so.

0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:13.560
<v Speaker 1>Much more of a thing amongst women, and any kind

0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:16.280
<v Speaker 1>of assurance that I can give people that like, this

0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:19.520
<v Speaker 1>is actually possible and a path for you, rather than

0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:22.199
<v Speaker 1>thinking to yourself, can I meet someone in five minutes

0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:23.840
<v Speaker 1>that I'm going to be stuck to for the rest

0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:25.839
<v Speaker 1>of my life That isn't the person that I want

0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:29.839
<v Speaker 1>to be stuck to, Like, just do it on your own. Yeah,

0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:33.240
<v Speaker 1>it's awesome. Rachel, thank you so much for joining me

0:12:33.280 --> 0:12:36.360
<v Speaker 1>on Bounce Forward. I think you're just doing the best,

0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:40.000
<v Speaker 1>the most amazing job in helping other women who want

0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:41.160
<v Speaker 1>to go on this journey as well.

0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:44.400
<v Speaker 2>So thank you so much, pleasure, Thank you for having me.

0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:48.040
<v Speaker 1>Thanks so much for listening to Bounce Forward. I love

0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:52.360
<v Speaker 1>having your company. So dm me on Instagram at tifhol

0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:55.120
<v Speaker 1>Underscore XO and let me know what topics you'd love

0:12:55.200 --> 0:12:57.760
<v Speaker 1>me to cover. Don't forget to rate and review me

0:12:57.840 --> 0:13:00.720
<v Speaker 1>on your podcast out speak Soon, Happy Days,