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Speaker 1: Appoche production. Welcome to Secrets of the Underworld. I am

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Speaker 1: Neil the muscle comments and in.

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Speaker 2: This episode I speak with Claudette Douglas about the dark

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Speaker 2: side of the Defense Force.

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Speaker 3: I couldn't tell the difference between the north and the

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Speaker 3: south on the compass. Yeah, you went in with the

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Speaker 3: target coming back. They're full of blood, like they're huge,

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Speaker 3: being listed on the back of their heels and then

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Speaker 3: that whole layer comes off. My pack never weighed twenty kilos.

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Speaker 3: You'd find a brick in it. And I always taught

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Speaker 3: how to kill a person with one year and look

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Speaker 3: at me. Okay to the squash Bug.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for coming on. It's going to be a

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Speaker 1: very exciting episode.

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Speaker 2: I reckon because you intrigued me when I spoke to

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Speaker 2: you up in the Gold Coast. So before we get

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Speaker 2: into all the nitty gritty, okay, tell me about yourself

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Speaker 2: growing up, family, school, and then why you wanted to

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Speaker 2: join the army.

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Speaker 3: I think I had rocks in my head. So I

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Speaker 3: grew up in a little country town called Koba, rural

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Speaker 3: New South Wales. No it's not Hobart, it's Cobae, all right.

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Speaker 3: Do you know where Dubbo is okay. Yeah, three hours

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Speaker 3: west of Dubbo, in the middle of b F nowhere.

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Speaker 3: Literally there's nothing. We've got stop lights and give way signs.

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Speaker 3: There's no roundabout. Trucks down. Q sbe humps and slow

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Speaker 3: the trucks down. I grew up out there, that's I

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Speaker 3: was born Dubbo and yeah, I was raised in Coba,

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Speaker 3: went to the primary school, went to the high school,

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Speaker 3: did almost schooling out there. My whole family is still

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Speaker 3: out there, except for my one of my sisters, middle one,

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Speaker 3: she lives in She escaped and of all things, joined

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Speaker 3: the Defense Force. Married with someone from the Defense Force,

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Speaker 3: so she lives in Tindle in the territory at the

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Speaker 3: Air Force bace.

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Speaker 1: Did your family have anything to do it, like with

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Speaker 1: the army? Is that why you wanted to Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I was a cadet, a school cadet and an Army

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Speaker 3: cadet for several years, and mum and dad ran the

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Speaker 3: cadet unit.

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Speaker 1: Ah, that's why.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, say the puzzles all coming lass. Okay, So yeah,

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Speaker 3: I think I was about fourteen fifteen, and yeah, I

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Speaker 3: decided to to join the Army cadet unit. So life

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Speaker 3: was great out there. I'll go at home now and

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Speaker 3: it's nothing. It's nothing like it was when I grew up.

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Speaker 3: So I met my husband out there, my current husband.

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Speaker 3: So this is number two. He's a keeper. This one.

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Speaker 1: I like this one.

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Speaker 3: I'm a mum of two kids. Eldest is twenty five

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Speaker 3: with my little grandson and another one on the way.

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Speaker 3: Find out today where there's one or two hoping there's

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Speaker 3: only one bacon?

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Speaker 1: Well what what?

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Speaker 3: What?

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Speaker 1: What is it with the that's like, what what did

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Speaker 1: you have to do for the cadets?

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Speaker 3: Is it just? See back then the cadets, it was fun.

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Speaker 3: There was a lot of fun. You got to ride

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Speaker 3: in the back of the unimogus, the army trucks. You

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Speaker 3: got to play around in the tanks, you got to

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Speaker 3: go bush, you got to play with the weapons, abs,

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Speaker 3: sail all but paintball, all that sort of stuff. So

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Speaker 3: it was a lot of fun. And is a lead

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Speaker 3: up to go up to this it is it teaches

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Speaker 3: you how to do everything you do. Navigation, you know,

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Speaker 3: survival in the bush, all that sort of stuff. And

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Speaker 3: growing up out on the farm. I used to go

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Speaker 3: out to my grandparents farm as a kid every chance

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Speaker 3: I got, and it's something I locked in planning to dirt,

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Speaker 3: getting dirty. But yeah, for that, it just it intrigued me,

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Speaker 3: I suppose, and all I wanted to do was join

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Speaker 3: the army. Wow, yeah, I don't know. Looking back now,

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Speaker 3: I think I rocks in my head.

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Speaker 1: But so when was it that? When was it that

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Speaker 1: you actually joined?

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Speaker 2: And you know because with the cadets, So tell me,

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Speaker 2: because I I don't know much about the army.

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Speaker 1: Cadets is a lead up to go to the it is.

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Speaker 3: Cadets is a lead up to go into any form

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Speaker 3: of defense force. It gives you the basic skills to

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Speaker 3: go in. So when it comes down to doing navigation,

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Speaker 3: using radios, surviving in the bush, all that sort of stuff,

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Speaker 3: even right down to being able to strip an assembol

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Speaker 3: a weapon. It teaches you absolutely everything. And the Cadet

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Speaker 3: unit's still running at home. Mum and Dad are still

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Speaker 3: running it. They've been running it for thirty years. So

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Speaker 3: it's something that helps kids in a way. A lot

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Speaker 3: of kids struggle, it does, and there's been a lot

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Speaker 3: of kids that have joined that have been To be honest,

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Speaker 3: it's been rotten. The lassoles, you know, the way they

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Speaker 3: treat their parents, to treat the community, treat themselves and

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Speaker 3: it's a way of getting back on the straight and arrow.

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Speaker 3: And Mum and Dad have done a wonderful job in

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Speaker 3: doing that over the years, and so many kids that

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Speaker 3: work it. It's even when I was in Yeah, they've

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Speaker 3: gone on to join the defense force, whether it be Navy,

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Speaker 3: Air Force.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So what age group do you have to be to

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Speaker 1: join the army? Is it?

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Speaker 3: So you've got to be twelve twelve?

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Speaker 1: Well, cadets or cadets.

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Speaker 3: Is twelve you go up right up until you finish

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Speaker 3: school and then army you have to be sixteen nine months.

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Speaker 3: It's like getting your license really, So there's a lot

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Speaker 3: of kids that will literally get their license and join

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Speaker 3: the Defense Force all on the same day.

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Speaker 1: So are you assessed that the cadets to see if

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Speaker 1: you can go into the army? Is that how?

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Speaker 3: No? No, No, there's no cycle evaluation or anything that

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Speaker 3: all comes when you join the Defense Force. So I

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Speaker 3: mean a cycle evaluation. When you get to the Defense Force,

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Speaker 3: they try and play with your mind. It is. It's

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Speaker 3: really trying to psych you out adjoining in a way,

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Speaker 3: because I'll ask you so many ways. If you were

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Speaker 3: standing on the edge of the question they gave me.

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Speaker 3: If you're standing on the edge of a cliff, even

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Speaker 3: one jump, well everyone's going to want to jump. They

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Speaker 3: want to see if they can fly like but nobody

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Speaker 3: wants to hit the bottom and not recover from it.

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Speaker 3: But it's yeah, it's the question that they ask, and

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Speaker 3: they ask it in so many different ways.

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Speaker 1: But do they say that to see if you're suicider?

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Speaker 3: Yea it is. It's just see if you're straight in

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Speaker 3: the head. And in this day and age, I don't

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Speaker 3: know how anyone passes. Wow, I really don't. Where I

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Speaker 3: work now, I see so many kids coming into my

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Speaker 3: store and I look at them and go dead. Said,

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Speaker 3: if you are my last line of defense against anything

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Speaker 3: coming into this country, I need to re enlist because

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Speaker 3: this straight out of kindergarten.

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Speaker 1: So you think it's a lot easier now to get

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Speaker 1: into the army than.

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Speaker 3: It's got to be. There's so many kids that are

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Speaker 3: coming in and they look at you and they go yes, ma'am, no, ma'am,

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Speaker 3: and oh my god, you you still don't They need

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Speaker 3: to go home. And then you get others that come

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Speaker 3: through and you can tell that they're born to do it.

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Speaker 3: That's what they're born to do.

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Speaker 2: We've got your your when you were ready to go

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Speaker 2: on the army after cadets and what what what you

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Speaker 2: have to do and go through to get in there

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Speaker 2: to be picked?

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, So I think mine's a little different to

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Speaker 3: a lot of others. I was. I was so special. No, see,

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Speaker 3: I actually went in with a target on my back. Well,

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Speaker 3: because I was a cadet that you went in with

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Speaker 3: knowing that you had any background knowledge on the defense force,

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Speaker 3: and you sort of had that upper hand against those

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Speaker 3: going in green that couldn't tell the difference between the

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Speaker 3: north and the south on a compass. Yeah, you went

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Speaker 3: in with a target on your back. You were graded

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Speaker 3: so much harder. They basically rowed you to try and

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Speaker 3: make you fail. And because Dad was a commanding officer

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Speaker 3: of the cadet unit at home, and my commanding officer

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Speaker 3: of my unit, best mates and I got well, it

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Speaker 3: got me. It was easier to get in in a

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Speaker 3: way because I didn't have to go to Kopuoka. I

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Speaker 3: didn't have to go to Puckepania, so I didn't have

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Speaker 3: to do all of those extra boot camps and all

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Speaker 3: that sort of stuff. I literally did a two week

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Speaker 3: boot camp at Ingleburn at Bartia Barracks. It's not it's

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Speaker 3: not there anymore. It's been bulldoze because of the asbestos.

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Speaker 1: That's where you have to do it all. So how

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Speaker 1: was it? How was that? So? What's the training for?

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Speaker 1: What's the two week training?

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Speaker 3: It's intense. I think there was probably about eight females

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Speaker 3: that went through at the time. I think three made

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Speaker 3: it through. There was only two in my unit and

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Speaker 3: one she quit not long after.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Oh, you'd be walking around and you'd have blisters literally

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Speaker 3: the size of an avocado seat on your heels, both heels,

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Speaker 3: but you still had to keep going.

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Speaker 1: Well, I know, sound like a stupid question, but why

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Speaker 1: do they make you do that? Is it? Is it?

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Speaker 2: I get when you go overseas and you get you

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Speaker 2: have to go places you're going to fucking be walking around?

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Speaker 1: What is it?

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Speaker 3: It's just your endurance. It's to see whether you've got

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Speaker 3: what it takes.

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Speaker 1: To push through, to see if you're going to be

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Speaker 1: a failure, see if you've got a.

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Speaker 3: Ticker or not. Basically, look, there'd be some that they

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Speaker 3: get through and they get through easy. And look, I

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Speaker 3: suppose the cadets taught me the simple little things don't

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Speaker 3: work a power of football socks because of the fabric

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Speaker 3: they're made out of, the friction makes your feet get

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Speaker 3: hot and it causes blood blisters. Now, these blisters these

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Speaker 3: people were getting, they're not just your standard. You know,

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Speaker 3: it's hot, I've got a blister. They were full of blood.

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Speaker 3: Like there were huge, big blisters on the back of

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Speaker 3: their heels. And then that whole layer comes off. They're

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Speaker 3: strapped up, their foot strapped. It wasn't it wasn't easy.

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Speaker 1: Got the males, How are they like with you?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? That was hard. They didn't like women.

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Speaker 1: So what what what you were talking to?

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Speaker 3: What we're talking ninety three?

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Speaker 1: So, yeah, we are talking way back.

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Speaker 3: When it was it was it was a man's army

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Speaker 3: women that it was just almost not not a thing

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Speaker 3: for women to be in the army was almost ran upon.

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Speaker 3: We were there to be a cook, a nurse, anything

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Speaker 3: but be part of an infantry unit, which is what

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Speaker 3: my unit was.

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Speaker 2: So back then it it would have been kind of

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Speaker 2: a new thing for women to come in.

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Speaker 1: To be in the army.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, and we were looked at as a protected species.

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Speaker 3: You can't do that because she's a female. She can't

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Speaker 3: go there because she's female. So in a way, I

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Speaker 3: was lucky when I went away. I had a couple

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Speaker 3: of fellows from home, one still with us, the other

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Speaker 3: one not now. He actually that as tall as you.

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Speaker 3: He helped me a lot. He was like a big brother.

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Speaker 3: They helped me be able to do things that I

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Speaker 3: probably shouldn't have been allowed to do. As long as

220
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Speaker 3: I've got my paperwork done. At six o'clock in the morning,

221
00:10:52,041 --> 00:10:54,321
Speaker 3: the truck would pull up to the front door. All

222
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Speaker 3: my gear would be on the back and they right,

223
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Speaker 3: let's go, we'll go under the range. But that was

224
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Speaker 3: then frowned upon too. It was like I was given

225
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Speaker 3: a free pass because I knew people there, and my

226
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Speaker 3: co sort of gave me a free pass, which then

227
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Speaker 3: put a target on my back. Just ride a little

228
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Speaker 3: bit harder, make a break.

229
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Speaker 1: Were you welcomed by the mails at back then?

230
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Speaker 3: Not really. No woman was, and that's why a lot

231
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Speaker 3: of the women actually they didn't even finish two weeks.

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Speaker 3: Two weeks of training, and it was intense training. It's

233
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Speaker 3: like you're six weeks at Capuk or Pucketpanil all jammed

234
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Speaker 3: into one. But yeah, it was it was hard, definitely hard.

235
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Speaker 2: Who was the most of the abuses? Was it that

236
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Speaker 2: the guys who were training with you or was it

237
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Speaker 2: the actual people who were training you?

238
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Speaker 3: A bit of both. It was a mixture. It was

239
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Speaker 3: a mixture of both. And look, as you can tell,

240
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Speaker 3: I'm not exactly what you call a tall person. So

241
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Speaker 3: I was always put right at the front, so I

242
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Speaker 3: had to set the pace. We do a fifteen clicker,

243
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Speaker 3: so fifteen k Marge. It was full pack you had,

244
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Speaker 3: So you had your twenty kilos on your back. You

245
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Speaker 3: had your which was fully loaded, your water bottles, it

246
00:12:07,041 --> 00:12:08,881
Speaker 3: was loaded like it was ready to go to combat

247
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Speaker 3: with the weight. And look if your pack if you

248
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Speaker 3: put everything in there, because I was only so little.

249
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Speaker 3: Look my pack never weighed twenty kilos. You'd find a

250
00:12:18,161 --> 00:12:20,881
Speaker 3: brick in there. They had to make it twenty kilos

251
00:12:20,961 --> 00:12:23,201
Speaker 3: that you carried. They would weigh it and they put

252
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Speaker 3: it on the scales and made sure it was twenty

253
00:12:24,721 --> 00:12:27,801
Speaker 3: kilos before you went and ditch fifteen k's. And then

254
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Speaker 3: you've got your hot uniform. That uniform didn't breathe back then.

255
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Speaker 3: It's not like it is now. Your boots and your weapon,

256
00:12:37,401 --> 00:12:40,281
Speaker 3: and it's not the light little styers that they carry now,

257
00:12:40,401 --> 00:12:42,921
Speaker 3: which weigh nothing. Your shoes weigh more than what they do.

258
00:12:43,041 --> 00:12:47,521
Speaker 3: Sometimes it was the old seven point six TOSLR. It

259
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:50,601
Speaker 3: was the old long rifle that you see on you

260
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Speaker 3: know that we were soldiers' movies. Yeah, that's what we

261
00:12:53,921 --> 00:12:56,561
Speaker 3: used to have. So having to strip and assemble one

262
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:59,481
Speaker 3: of them and carried it everywhere you went, it was hard.

263
00:12:59,641 --> 00:13:02,921
Speaker 3: It was heavy, and only being a little pocket rocket,

264
00:13:03,361 --> 00:13:07,721
Speaker 3: it certainly didn't flof easy. And they weren't allowed to

265
00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:09,281
Speaker 3: carry it for you.

266
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Speaker 1: No.

267
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Speaker 3: I got there at one stage, doing fifteen k's. A

268
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Speaker 3: couple of boys to come on, I'll take your weapon,

269
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Speaker 3: and I said, I had to fall back. When you've

270
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Speaker 3: got blokes like your your height six foot plus and

271
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Speaker 3: they've got a stride, I've got to take three to

272
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Speaker 3: four steps to catch up to them, to keep their

273
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Speaker 3: pace for fifteen k's. I fell back and I ended

274
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Speaker 3: up almost middle towards the end of the pack. And yeah,

275
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Speaker 3: some of them just said, look, let me take you

276
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Speaker 3: take your weapon, let me take you backpack, just so

277
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Speaker 3: you can catch up, get your breath. And then that

278
00:13:42,401 --> 00:13:45,361
Speaker 3: was frowned upon, and then they're getting screamed up because

279
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Speaker 3: they're not meant to. And then I'm getting screamed at

280
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Speaker 3: because I'm not meant to hand my gear right, I'm

281
00:13:49,121 --> 00:13:51,441
Speaker 3: meant to take it. Well, when you're out in the

282
00:13:51,441 --> 00:13:53,561
Speaker 3: field and you're going to wall, you can't go on

283
00:13:53,601 --> 00:13:56,241
Speaker 3: hand and you're packing your weapon to somebody else. But

284
00:13:56,681 --> 00:13:59,841
Speaker 3: it was look, take the screaming at for doing that,

285
00:14:00,481 --> 00:14:04,241
Speaker 3: or be screamed up by the entire battalion because I'm

286
00:14:04,281 --> 00:14:07,881
Speaker 3: taking one step and they're having to shorten theirs by

287
00:14:07,921 --> 00:14:11,721
Speaker 3: a quarter literally just to be able to do I

288
00:14:11,761 --> 00:14:13,441
Speaker 3: had a couple I had a couple of nights there

289
00:14:13,961 --> 00:14:17,441
Speaker 3: where I almost almost quit. I rang mom and dad

290
00:14:17,521 --> 00:14:21,001
Speaker 3: and said, I can't. I just can't do this. And

291
00:14:21,201 --> 00:14:24,201
Speaker 3: I remember Dad saying, and my dad, let's just say this.

292
00:14:24,361 --> 00:14:28,681
Speaker 3: My dad is not the softest, hardest person in the world.

293
00:14:29,121 --> 00:14:33,681
Speaker 3: He's yeah, he's a hard, hard shell. Grandkids has made

294
00:14:33,761 --> 00:14:37,201
Speaker 3: him a little volet crumble. But he said, mate, you

295
00:14:37,241 --> 00:14:38,241
Speaker 3: got to stick it out.

296
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Speaker 1: You know.

297
00:14:41,241 --> 00:14:44,601
Speaker 3: It was hard because I never had to to ask

298
00:14:44,681 --> 00:14:46,361
Speaker 3: my dad for things, and it was hard to ask

299
00:14:46,401 --> 00:14:49,961
Speaker 3: my dad for stuff like that. And I tried to

300
00:14:49,961 --> 00:14:51,321
Speaker 3: talk to my CEO and he said, you need to

301
00:14:51,321 --> 00:14:53,721
Speaker 3: talk daddy. Said, I can't step in here. He said,

302
00:14:53,761 --> 00:14:56,481
Speaker 3: I'm going to tell you need to stay, and I

303
00:14:56,561 --> 00:14:59,401
Speaker 3: rang Mum and she said, I can't tell you what

304
00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:02,521
Speaker 3: to do. Only you can do this. She said, but

305
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:05,361
Speaker 3: you need to look back on it and say, did

306
00:15:05,361 --> 00:15:09,041
Speaker 3: I give it everything I had? She said, as a woman,

307
00:15:09,121 --> 00:15:11,041
Speaker 3: you need to prove that you can be there. She said,

308
00:15:11,081 --> 00:15:13,601
Speaker 3: it was hard enough getting you in. I mean I

309
00:15:13,641 --> 00:15:15,321
Speaker 3: had to still pass all the tests and all the

310
00:15:15,321 --> 00:15:17,481
Speaker 3: side tests to see I couldn't pass that for me.

311
00:15:19,401 --> 00:15:21,321
Speaker 3: But he was the one that gave me the two

312
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,801
Speaker 3: week intense camp as opposed to go on to Puckponylan

313
00:15:23,961 --> 00:15:24,121
Speaker 3: and that.

314
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Speaker 1: You didn't test anybody to talk to in case they thought.

315
00:15:27,561 --> 00:15:31,881
Speaker 3: You were there was the two fellows that from Coba

316
00:15:31,921 --> 00:15:37,121
Speaker 3: that I used to travel down with, but talking to them,

317
00:15:37,441 --> 00:15:39,561
Speaker 3: they were telling me the same thing, and I think

318
00:15:39,601 --> 00:15:41,601
Speaker 3: I just wanted somebody to say, no, it's okay for

319
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,321
Speaker 3: you to quit. That's what I think I was hoping

320
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:48,001
Speaker 3: for looking back now, And it wasn't until you asked

321
00:15:48,041 --> 00:15:50,081
Speaker 3: me to do this that I actually stopped and thought

322
00:15:50,121 --> 00:15:54,201
Speaker 3: about it through the night and just maybe I should

323
00:15:54,201 --> 00:15:57,841
Speaker 3: have just quit back then. Maybe that's what me having

324
00:15:57,841 --> 00:16:00,601
Speaker 3: those breakdowns was for for someone to validate the fact

325
00:16:00,601 --> 00:16:02,121
Speaker 3: that I should have just pulled the pin and said

326
00:16:02,121 --> 00:16:05,761
Speaker 3: no more. But I didn't, and and I listened to

327
00:16:05,761 --> 00:16:08,961
Speaker 3: my mom and said, yeah, I've I've got to do

328
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:11,121
Speaker 3: this as a female. It was hard enough as it was,

329
00:16:11,681 --> 00:16:14,321
Speaker 3: and from a little country town back then, for me

330
00:16:14,401 --> 00:16:16,841
Speaker 3: to go in that was a huge thing. And I

331
00:16:16,881 --> 00:16:19,641
Speaker 3: didn't realize that that that was all going to fall

332
00:16:19,641 --> 00:16:21,921
Speaker 3: back on mom and dad, and they still live in

333
00:16:21,921 --> 00:16:24,281
Speaker 3: the town. They've been there their whole life, and I

334
00:16:24,281 --> 00:16:26,801
Speaker 3: didn't want that to go back. And oh, she felt

335
00:16:26,921 --> 00:16:29,081
Speaker 3: she couldn't make it, she couldn't cut it. I mean,

336
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:32,241
Speaker 3: I'd had that through school, right through school. I was

337
00:16:32,281 --> 00:16:36,281
Speaker 3: so little. I was the only one with my weird name,

338
00:16:37,201 --> 00:16:40,801
Speaker 3: and I couldn't I couldn't bloody fart in town without

339
00:16:40,841 --> 00:16:44,641
Speaker 3: somebody thinking that I've done something else. So, you know,

340
00:16:44,801 --> 00:16:48,161
Speaker 3: it was hard growing up in the town with the

341
00:16:48,201 --> 00:16:53,801
Speaker 3: only name and being so well known, and I just thought, well,

342
00:16:54,001 --> 00:16:56,441
Speaker 3: I've got to stick it out. So I did. I

343
00:16:56,481 --> 00:16:57,681
Speaker 3: don't know how I did.

344
00:16:57,921 --> 00:16:59,881
Speaker 2: What a level of what level of abuse did you

345
00:16:59,921 --> 00:17:01,681
Speaker 2: see in that while you were there? Did you see

346
00:17:01,681 --> 00:17:03,481
Speaker 2: anyund a blind guy.

347
00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:08,561
Speaker 3: Or you no look physic abuse, no mental abuse. Yeah,

348
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:12,801
Speaker 3: they look when you've got somebody standing literally two foot

349
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,680
Speaker 3: in front of you and their spit is hitting you

350
00:17:15,681 --> 00:17:18,280
Speaker 3: in the face. What you see on the movies, a

351
00:17:18,321 --> 00:17:20,600
Speaker 3: lot of that is so exaggerated, and when they're standing

352
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,760
Speaker 3: there screaming. That doesn't happen on a regular basis, but

353
00:17:23,801 --> 00:17:27,041
Speaker 3: you do get the odd one or two, and they

354
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,041
Speaker 3: do it during your boot camp, and that's purely to

355
00:17:30,041 --> 00:17:31,680
Speaker 3: see if you've got what it takes. If you're going

356
00:17:31,681 --> 00:17:33,441
Speaker 3: to turn around, you're going to smelt somebody and saying,

357
00:17:33,481 --> 00:17:35,761
Speaker 3: you know he's an upper cut because you've just screamed

358
00:17:35,761 --> 00:17:38,640
Speaker 3: in my face. You had no right to. But I

359
00:17:38,681 --> 00:17:42,401
Speaker 3: think growing up with a dad like I had made

360
00:17:42,441 --> 00:17:45,241
Speaker 3: me very resilient to that. I had a pretty hard

361
00:17:45,241 --> 00:17:48,801
Speaker 3: shell when it comes to that sort of stuff. And yeah,

362
00:17:48,921 --> 00:17:49,360
Speaker 3: it was.

363
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:54,400
Speaker 2: All separated in different like sleeping sleeping.

364
00:17:54,681 --> 00:18:00,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's no fratnization none whatsoever. To the point where

365
00:18:00,761 --> 00:18:03,160
Speaker 3: back then, if I had to go, you know, you

366
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,440
Speaker 3: get have a spider crawling up your face, and I

367
00:18:05,481 --> 00:18:07,521
Speaker 3: couldn't go over and just whack it off. Being a

368
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,840
Speaker 3: male against a female, I'd have to say to them,

369
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,680
Speaker 3: I'm about to touch you and then brush whatever it

370
00:18:13,721 --> 00:18:15,960
Speaker 3: was away or do whatever. You can't just go up.

371
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:19,440
Speaker 3: That's that's how bad the fraternization rules were. You couldn't

372
00:18:19,481 --> 00:18:23,281
Speaker 3: even yeah, to sit, even to sit across the table

373
00:18:23,281 --> 00:18:26,561
Speaker 3: like I owing for you now that there, unless there

374
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:30,760
Speaker 3: was other people in the room that wasn't left. It's fraatenization.

375
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:35,321
Speaker 3: To them, it's fratnization. That's yeah, you look at it

376
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:36,080
Speaker 3: and laugh now.

377
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,201
Speaker 1: But so you could never be alone with a male

378
00:18:40,481 --> 00:18:43,681
Speaker 1: or female because I think it was going on, it'd

379
00:18:43,721 --> 00:18:45,441
Speaker 1: have to be someone else in that absolutely.

380
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:50,561
Speaker 3: Yeah, there was no male female one on one, and

381
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:55,201
Speaker 3: which was hard because I had two people there, one

382
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:58,041
Speaker 3: that were pretty much grown up with another one that

383
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:02,360
Speaker 3: I'd known for several years, and you know, we just

384
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:06,041
Speaker 3: travel to camp on the bus, travel home from camp.

385
00:19:06,561 --> 00:19:09,960
Speaker 3: That were the ones that packed my bag after my eighteenth,

386
00:19:10,481 --> 00:19:13,201
Speaker 3: put everything on the bus, cleared out my whole rack

387
00:19:13,241 --> 00:19:15,400
Speaker 3: and everything to make sure there was nothing left behind,

388
00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:18,120
Speaker 3: went and picked me up from behind a barbecue, dusted

389
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:19,961
Speaker 3: me off, threw me onto a bus and said we're

390
00:19:20,001 --> 00:19:27,521
Speaker 3: going home after my eighteenth. And that was at the base.

391
00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:34,400
Speaker 2: So how many how many females? You know, here's the

392
00:19:34,681 --> 00:19:37,440
Speaker 2: thing when you get into the army. How many females

393
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,480
Speaker 2: do you think mentally or physically get abused by a

394
00:19:41,521 --> 00:19:42,921
Speaker 2: male in the army.

395
00:19:43,561 --> 00:19:46,681
Speaker 3: If it's the same now as what it was back.

396
00:19:46,481 --> 00:19:50,521
Speaker 1: Then, Yeah, oh is that a big issue.

397
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,640
Speaker 3: I don't know so much now because they've been out

398
00:19:53,681 --> 00:19:58,041
Speaker 3: for twenty five years. But look, it was back then,

399
00:19:59,201 --> 00:19:59,880
Speaker 3: and it.

400
00:19:59,761 --> 00:20:02,001
Speaker 1: Was it pushed all the time, and the males would

401
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 1: win always, it would always just be the time was.

402
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,281
Speaker 3: Look, there was a couple of women that warrant offices,

403
00:20:10,281 --> 00:20:13,041
Speaker 3: a couple of officers, and even they treated the women

404
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:15,801
Speaker 3: like shit. It was like, I'm bigger than you, I've

405
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:20,081
Speaker 3: got more rank than you. So yeah, you just did

406
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,640
Speaker 3: what you did and toddled on.

407
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,561
Speaker 2: Like where do we have seen the movies where you

408
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,600
Speaker 2: know that where they pulled rank on a on a

409
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,481
Speaker 2: certain person to get what they want. Otherwise you're not

410
00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:32,641
Speaker 2: getting in. Was any of that?

411
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,321
Speaker 3: Look that didn't happen to me. I'm not saying it

412
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:38,801
Speaker 3: didn't happen, but I was. I was lucky that didn't

413
00:20:38,801 --> 00:20:41,521
Speaker 3: happen to me. I had well know in saying that

414
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,160
Speaker 3: I had the rank pulled to get me in.

415
00:20:44,921 --> 00:20:48,440
Speaker 1: So but I'm saying is that there was no sexual

416
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,201
Speaker 1: abuse in there to pull rank.

417
00:20:50,681 --> 00:20:53,960
Speaker 3: No, not that I'm aware of whether it happened or not.

418
00:20:54,921 --> 00:21:00,281
Speaker 3: I don't know. There's a high possibility, you know, whether

419
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,640
Speaker 3: it was like it is in the corporate world, or

420
00:21:02,801 --> 00:21:04,160
Speaker 3: was in the corporate world to sleep you out at

421
00:21:04,201 --> 00:21:07,881
Speaker 3: the top? Did I did I see it? No? Did

422
00:21:07,921 --> 00:21:12,521
Speaker 3: it happen? Probably, Oh, there's there's a very high possibility

423
00:21:12,561 --> 00:21:15,801
Speaker 3: that that was happening. But I wasn't if that happened.

424
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,680
Speaker 3: I wasn't privy to any of that sort of stuff.

425
00:21:18,281 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 3: And like I said, see I had that target on me.

426
00:21:21,041 --> 00:21:24,761
Speaker 3: Everything around me was that was. It was very sketchy.

427
00:21:24,761 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 3: Everyone was sort of on eggshells. You don't do anything

428
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,920
Speaker 3: in front of it because she knows the coo, you know,

429
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:37,521
Speaker 3: so probably probably. I still remember the day that I

430
00:21:37,521 --> 00:21:40,201
Speaker 3: had to go up and only because they'd stuffed up

431
00:21:40,321 --> 00:21:43,360
Speaker 3: some paperwork and I didn't I always knew. I didn't

432
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 3: know who to go to, what to do. And am

433
00:21:46,281 --> 00:21:48,001
Speaker 3: I saluting this one and my salute and that one

434
00:21:48,001 --> 00:21:49,761
Speaker 3: I started to salute and think, oh shit, I'm not

435
00:21:49,761 --> 00:21:52,920
Speaker 3: supposed to salute you. You don't have rank, so you know,

436
00:21:53,041 --> 00:21:54,680
Speaker 3: and then it got to the point they taught used

437
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:58,281
Speaker 3: a tree too. If you had to. If you're constantly

438
00:21:58,481 --> 00:22:02,201
Speaker 3: what they call throwing a boxer having to salute, you'd

439
00:22:02,201 --> 00:22:06,161
Speaker 3: sort of stop and to his shoelaces. Now, back then

440
00:22:06,321 --> 00:22:09,641
Speaker 3: you had to have you had shoelaces, and the courting

441
00:22:09,681 --> 00:22:12,680
Speaker 3: your pants. It wasn't like it is now stitulastic. You

442
00:22:12,721 --> 00:22:15,641
Speaker 3: had to tie it, so you deliberately tied a little loose,

443
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,961
Speaker 3: so what would always come undone, So you had no

444
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,041
Speaker 3: tom stop look down, You bend down and by the

445
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,761
Speaker 3: time you got up the officers walk past. You don't

446
00:22:22,761 --> 00:22:25,281
Speaker 3: have to salute. You keep going. So you learned the

447
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:28,441
Speaker 3: drinks in the trade. You'd ended up with you right,

448
00:22:28,561 --> 00:22:30,640
Speaker 3: arm'd be like you're drinking arm. It was so much

449
00:22:30,681 --> 00:22:32,321
Speaker 3: bigger than left because it was constantly going up and

450
00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:34,881
Speaker 3: down on your left fond would go, you know, depending

451
00:22:34,921 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 3: on what you were carrying. But I had to go

452
00:22:38,201 --> 00:22:42,401
Speaker 3: up into the office and the only person I could

453
00:22:42,441 --> 00:22:46,120
Speaker 3: see was my SOO. I didn't know anybody else. I

454
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,680
Speaker 3: didn't trust anybody else at that stage, and I was

455
00:22:49,681 --> 00:22:53,761
Speaker 3: a rookie and that was my safe sign. Yeah, So

456
00:22:53,801 --> 00:22:55,921
Speaker 3: I went up and I spoke to him and then

457
00:22:55,961 --> 00:22:58,400
Speaker 3: come out and the looks. I God was just like, okay,

458
00:22:58,481 --> 00:23:01,521
Speaker 3: what's happened? And all it was was because they'd stuffed

459
00:23:01,561 --> 00:23:04,440
Speaker 3: up my paperwork to go home, and I was stuck

460
00:23:04,441 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 3: at Ingleburn and it was Anzac day and I was

461
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 3: meant to be at home to do the Anzac march

462
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,121
Speaker 3: at home, and it would have been my first one

463
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 3: in uniform, like not a cadet uniform, an army uniform.

464
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,720
Speaker 3: And they then sent me over to the QWI, which

465
00:23:19,801 --> 00:23:22,721
Speaker 3: I knew really really well, and he hooked me up.

466
00:23:23,241 --> 00:23:24,961
Speaker 3: He was another one I used to look after the cadets,

467
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:28,041
Speaker 3: so the unit I joined to put it on in perspective,

468
00:23:28,441 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 3: the first nineteenth was the unit that looked after the

469
00:23:31,001 --> 00:23:34,561
Speaker 3: Cobarkedet unit. So that's why I got to go to

470
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:41,401
Speaker 3: that unit. Yeah, they they were good. The qu was good.

471
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 3: He looked after me. He got me kitted out and

472
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:45,960
Speaker 3: I had all my uniform and everything done. He polished,

473
00:23:46,041 --> 00:23:48,680
Speaker 3: helped me get a pair of boots, which was hard,

474
00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:51,561
Speaker 3: like they were like rockenhall shitited fine, well, I'm a

475
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,001
Speaker 3: three triple A so I've got the tiniest little foot.

476
00:23:54,481 --> 00:23:57,641
Speaker 3: They had to order specifically to get my boots in.

477
00:23:57,961 --> 00:24:00,121
Speaker 3: So he found a tiny little pair for me and

478
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:01,640
Speaker 3: we got them all cleaned up and everything, because I

479
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 3: was meant to do Anzac Day in Sydney and I

480
00:24:03,721 --> 00:24:08,041
Speaker 3: was going to do the march and yeah, last minute

481
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:11,281
Speaker 3: changed and they fixed my paperwork miraculously and I got

482
00:24:11,281 --> 00:24:14,281
Speaker 3: to go home. But he was the only one that

483
00:24:14,281 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 3: could fix it, the CEO, that was the only person.

484
00:24:18,721 --> 00:24:22,401
Speaker 2: So you've done your two weeks of training and now

485
00:24:22,521 --> 00:24:23,640
Speaker 2: you've been accepted.

486
00:24:24,721 --> 00:24:28,281
Speaker 3: How that feel a relief? It was a relief and

487
00:24:28,281 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 3: it was right at Christmas time too, So look, the

488
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 3: bank balance was nice and healthy. I could do that.

489
00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:40,281
Speaker 3: It was good because I got to go home and

490
00:24:40,281 --> 00:24:41,640
Speaker 3: and be proud of the fact that I've made it

491
00:24:42,441 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 3: now everything everything was done. I pulled off something I

492
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,561
Speaker 3: didn't think I could. And that was past that two

493
00:24:48,561 --> 00:24:51,961
Speaker 3: week boot camp. And I thought Cadets was hard, especially

494
00:24:51,961 --> 00:24:56,761
Speaker 3: with my dad as an officer and my one one

495
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:59,321
Speaker 3: CEO being the CEO of the cadet unit as well.

496
00:25:00,721 --> 00:25:04,801
Speaker 3: They rode me hard knowing that I'd enlisted, and it

497
00:25:05,041 --> 00:25:08,321
Speaker 3: made it even harder than because I had to pass everything.

498
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,960
Speaker 3: There was no failure allowed. But it meant that I

499
00:25:12,001 --> 00:25:13,761
Speaker 3: got to come back to that cadet unit and help

500
00:25:13,801 --> 00:25:17,761
Speaker 3: out as a reservist. I've got to come back, and

501
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:21,761
Speaker 3: so when the kids went to Singleton, that's where they

502
00:25:21,801 --> 00:25:25,680
Speaker 3: all went for the army camp. Yeah, I got to

503
00:25:25,681 --> 00:25:26,721
Speaker 3: go back and I got to help.

504
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 1: So what was your role in the army.

505
00:25:28,961 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 3: I was a clerk. I was an infantry clerk admin.

506
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 3: So it sort of worked in my favor. The boys

507
00:25:38,481 --> 00:25:40,561
Speaker 3: made sure that I got to go to the range

508
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,960
Speaker 3: and if they were abseiling, I got to absalex. They

509
00:25:43,001 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 3: were going out in the Union Mogus and we're going

510
00:25:44,801 --> 00:25:47,481
Speaker 3: up and down hills and whatever. I got to go

511
00:25:48,041 --> 00:25:50,761
Speaker 3: as long as I had my paperwork done. But they

512
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,921
Speaker 3: knew that they had to make sure I had everything

513
00:25:53,001 --> 00:25:56,041
Speaker 3: to get that paperwork done because if I didn't fill

514
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,921
Speaker 3: like the forms properly, they didn't get closed, fed, transported.

515
00:26:00,801 --> 00:26:03,400
Speaker 3: It was a shit show. So they looked after me.

516
00:26:03,481 --> 00:26:10,481
Speaker 3: I looked after them. So that day came, I've got

517
00:26:10,481 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 3: my yellow envelope? Was that the yellow envelope? The yellow envelopes?

518
00:26:15,041 --> 00:26:18,961
Speaker 1: Lopes, what's the yellow envelope?

519
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,961
Speaker 3: Look the brown envelope? Thick one would have been nice. No,

520
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:26,001
Speaker 3: this one was thick full of paperwork. I got the

521
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 3: orders to go to Timor. And that was back in

522
00:26:29,681 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 3: ninety nine and looking back now, I'm grave floating go.

523
00:26:33,441 --> 00:26:34,841
Speaker 3: It was ugly, But isn't.

524
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 1: That what you you've done all this training for?

525
00:26:36,961 --> 00:26:40,880
Speaker 3: It was? It was, you know, I had to ab

526
00:26:40,921 --> 00:26:46,041
Speaker 3: sail and what they call an angel drop. Now I

527
00:26:46,241 --> 00:26:49,481
Speaker 3: will I'll ab sail off any cliff you saw at me.

528
00:26:49,521 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 3: I'll absail off ail off the harbor bridge. But you

529
00:26:53,041 --> 00:26:55,160
Speaker 3: made me climb up there without a rope attached to me,

530
00:26:55,241 --> 00:26:58,361
Speaker 3: and not a hope in hazeses that happen. And I'm frozen.

531
00:26:59,761 --> 00:27:02,041
Speaker 3: So they said we're going to jump off this and

532
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 3: we're gonna go face first, and angel drops face first.

533
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,841
Speaker 3: So where you see people absel and they go down

534
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 3: with their back towards the sky, No, no, no, this is

535
00:27:10,481 --> 00:27:14,160
Speaker 3: you literally walk down face first, your back is against

536
00:27:14,241 --> 00:27:16,241
Speaker 3: the wall and you're looking at the ground coming.

537
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,641
Speaker 1: Up against face first. What's the reason for that?

538
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 3: There's sometimes you've got no choice but to go face first.

539
00:27:21,761 --> 00:27:23,121
Speaker 3: You've got to be able to see where you're going.

540
00:27:23,281 --> 00:27:25,881
Speaker 3: If you go down backwards, you can't see what's behind you.

541
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,961
Speaker 3: You've got to be able to have that view of

542
00:27:28,041 --> 00:27:30,321
Speaker 3: what's coming up. So I had to do the Angel drop,

543
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:34,160
Speaker 3: and I can tell you now. I stood at the

544
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:37,640
Speaker 3: top of that thing, Neil, and I shit myself, I

545
00:27:37,681 --> 00:27:41,120
Speaker 3: can't do this. I did. I stood at the top

546
00:27:41,201 --> 00:27:45,001
Speaker 3: and I tease rolling down my face and why I

547
00:27:45,041 --> 00:27:49,400
Speaker 3: can't do this? And the officer standing down the bottom,

548
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,681
Speaker 3: he looked up at me and when there's no such

549
00:27:51,721 --> 00:27:54,160
Speaker 3: words can't. And all I could see was my father

550
00:27:54,281 --> 00:27:57,481
Speaker 3: saying there's no such words can't. So I did it.

551
00:27:58,281 --> 00:28:00,920
Speaker 3: They're all but pushing me over the edge. I can't

552
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,041
Speaker 3: stand up here and say I can't do this anymore.

553
00:28:04,041 --> 00:28:07,440
Speaker 3: I've got to do it. And yeah, I had a

554
00:28:07,441 --> 00:28:09,921
Speaker 3: couple of false starts, walked to the back.

555
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 1: Are you for the heads?

556
00:28:12,321 --> 00:28:12,481
Speaker 2: Oh?

557
00:28:12,761 --> 00:28:14,201
Speaker 3: Petrified to heights?

558
00:28:14,561 --> 00:28:14,801
Speaker 1: Yeah?

559
00:28:15,281 --> 00:28:17,801
Speaker 3: You stee me up in why.

560
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:22,201
Speaker 1: Would you Joini if you hoes planes?

561
00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:27,041
Speaker 3: And not everybody jumps up, but it's like somebody that's

562
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:30,001
Speaker 3: got closs for faby because it's in a sauna. Wow,

563
00:28:30,961 --> 00:28:33,281
Speaker 3: I'm shit scared of heights. She put me up in

564
00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:35,640
Speaker 3: an apartment and I've done it. I've gone to Queensland

565
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:37,481
Speaker 3: on holidays and my husband, he'll tell you, I'll stand

566
00:28:37,521 --> 00:28:40,161
Speaker 3: on the balcony and be like yep, fucking see. That's good.

567
00:28:40,201 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 1: But did you do all this in boot camp? Like

568
00:28:41,761 --> 00:28:42,801
Speaker 1: all this kind of training.

569
00:28:43,401 --> 00:28:46,601
Speaker 3: We did have sailing, but it wasn't It wasn't the same,

570
00:28:46,681 --> 00:28:46,961
Speaker 3: Like we.

571
00:28:46,881 --> 00:28:50,121
Speaker 1: Didn't get to do the angel headfast head.

572
00:28:49,961 --> 00:28:52,161
Speaker 3: First, and that's what it was. It wasn't gone down backwards,

573
00:28:52,281 --> 00:28:55,281
Speaker 3: you go down backwards. That didn't phaze me. It was

574
00:28:55,321 --> 00:28:57,121
Speaker 3: the fact that I had to go down. And then

575
00:28:58,041 --> 00:29:00,761
Speaker 3: I think the hardest part was when I got halfway,

576
00:29:01,401 --> 00:29:04,641
Speaker 3: I had to tie myself off, So I had to

577
00:29:04,681 --> 00:29:08,401
Speaker 3: secure all myself on that rope. Now there is somebody

578
00:29:08,401 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 3: standing down the bottom as a bully, so I was safe.

579
00:29:12,881 --> 00:29:15,321
Speaker 3: Where I trusted him or not, I didn't know. But

580
00:29:15,441 --> 00:29:17,921
Speaker 3: I had to tie myself off, put my arms out wide,

581
00:29:18,201 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 3: and just hang there like an angel, just hovering in

582
00:29:22,561 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 3: mid air. I'm like, if this rope fails, that's all

583
00:29:26,481 --> 00:29:28,121
Speaker 3: I could see was the ground just coming up and

584
00:29:28,201 --> 00:29:31,281
Speaker 3: hit me in the face. And then they all but

585
00:29:31,441 --> 00:29:33,761
Speaker 3: do that to you. They drop you down, so you

586
00:29:33,841 --> 00:29:36,161
Speaker 3: untie yourself and then you've got it basically free fall,

587
00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:38,001
Speaker 3: and then the blade pulls at the rope at the

588
00:29:38,001 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 3: bottom and stops you.

589
00:29:39,761 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 1: So he stopped me.

590
00:29:41,281 --> 00:29:44,881
Speaker 3: Two foot above the ground him. All the trust is

591
00:29:44,881 --> 00:29:46,801
Speaker 3: in him. And I didn't know this bloke from bar

592
00:29:46,961 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 3: bloody soap. This was an instructor I'd never met in

593
00:29:50,281 --> 00:29:50,801
Speaker 3: my life.

594
00:29:52,041 --> 00:29:54,161
Speaker 1: So what's this forts that set just to get you again,

595
00:29:54,201 --> 00:29:55,281
Speaker 1: to see if you're going through it?

596
00:29:55,481 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 3: Wow, it's the fear factor to see if you've got it,

597
00:29:58,601 --> 00:30:00,561
Speaker 3: to see if you can do what it takes, to

598
00:30:00,561 --> 00:30:02,681
Speaker 3: see if you can actually jump off a cliff and

599
00:30:03,321 --> 00:30:05,121
Speaker 3: save somebody. I passed it.

600
00:30:05,241 --> 00:30:06,841
Speaker 1: Even though you were chating yourself at the top day.

601
00:30:06,881 --> 00:30:07,801
Speaker 1: They still crushed you for that.

602
00:30:08,481 --> 00:30:11,241
Speaker 3: And now you put me on a rope and tell

603
00:30:11,321 --> 00:30:16,001
Speaker 3: me to go and angel dropm and I'd love to Yep,

604
00:30:16,281 --> 00:30:18,201
Speaker 3: I'll fight off and go on home. We go through

605
00:30:18,601 --> 00:30:21,961
Speaker 3: Sandy Hollo to get home out to Koba, and I'll

606
00:30:21,961 --> 00:30:25,001
Speaker 3: look up at all the cliffs around Sandy Hollow and

607
00:30:25,001 --> 00:30:26,961
Speaker 3: I think how awesome would have been to just jump

608
00:30:26,961 --> 00:30:29,241
Speaker 3: off those tabs of those every time we'll go through.

609
00:30:31,881 --> 00:30:33,960
Speaker 1: So why was it that you didn't go? Then? What

610
00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:35,361
Speaker 1: was the excuse?

611
00:30:35,601 --> 00:30:40,001
Speaker 3: Ah, it wasn't an excuse. Well it was an excuse,

612
00:30:40,081 --> 00:30:44,281
Speaker 3: but I was pregnant with my first What a time

613
00:30:44,321 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 3: to get pregnant. Blood test results came back at the

614
00:30:47,521 --> 00:30:54,161
Speaker 3: same time that I got my orders. Yeah, so you

615
00:30:54,961 --> 00:30:58,681
Speaker 3: is that a regret? Look, I think the regret that

616
00:30:58,721 --> 00:31:03,281
Speaker 3: I didn't get to do a tour. And now, especially

617
00:31:03,361 --> 00:31:06,121
Speaker 3: for Anzac Day. When you go on to Anzac Day

618
00:31:06,121 --> 00:31:08,161
Speaker 3: and you say that you were reservist and they say

619
00:31:08,281 --> 00:31:09,001
Speaker 3: where did you serve?

620
00:31:09,681 --> 00:31:11,001
Speaker 1: Well, you didn't get that change.

621
00:31:11,041 --> 00:31:15,121
Speaker 3: I didn't get that chance. That's that after all the

622
00:31:15,161 --> 00:31:17,921
Speaker 3: training I did. Yeah, I think I do get judged,

623
00:31:18,161 --> 00:31:21,921
Speaker 3: but I think anyone that doesn't quite get that far.

624
00:31:22,041 --> 00:31:23,401
Speaker 1: And then it is that the first thing people say

625
00:31:23,441 --> 00:31:25,401
Speaker 1: to you, where'd you serve? And if you go, they

626
00:31:26,401 --> 00:31:27,001
Speaker 1: don't want to talk to you.

627
00:31:27,081 --> 00:31:28,841
Speaker 3: Now, when did you serve? Where did you serve?

628
00:31:29,441 --> 00:31:29,601
Speaker 1: Well?

629
00:31:29,641 --> 00:31:33,241
Speaker 3: I served my country. I may not have been full time.

630
00:31:33,281 --> 00:31:35,041
Speaker 3: I did a lot of extra hours that I probably

631
00:31:35,081 --> 00:31:43,561
Speaker 3: shouldn't have, but I still put my signature on a

632
00:31:43,561 --> 00:31:48,041
Speaker 3: piece of paper to hand my life to this country regardless.

633
00:31:49,081 --> 00:31:51,801
Speaker 3: So I mean, I did all my training to get

634
00:31:51,801 --> 00:31:53,721
Speaker 3: there and never got the chance.

635
00:31:53,801 --> 00:31:56,521
Speaker 2: But what about after you had the pregnancy, didn't go

636
00:31:56,601 --> 00:31:59,521
Speaker 2: back or you just didn't get your life just changed

637
00:31:59,521 --> 00:32:00,041
Speaker 2: and that was it.

638
00:32:00,201 --> 00:32:02,361
Speaker 3: I looked at it as I couldn't if I'd have

639
00:32:02,401 --> 00:32:07,201
Speaker 3: gone over there and it was teamill and I look

640
00:32:07,281 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 3: back now and go, thank god I didn't go. But

641
00:32:10,241 --> 00:32:11,601
Speaker 3: I couldn't have orphaned a child.

642
00:32:13,281 --> 00:32:14,041
Speaker 1: No one's walk after it.

643
00:32:15,481 --> 00:32:18,441
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, i'd had mum and dad there, but that

644
00:32:18,521 --> 00:32:20,841
Speaker 3: was that was my child. And if I'd have gone

645
00:32:20,881 --> 00:32:23,481
Speaker 3: over and something had happened, no, I couldn't do it.

646
00:32:23,601 --> 00:32:25,121
Speaker 1: So what you're saying is that.

647
00:32:26,721 --> 00:32:29,721
Speaker 2: Having the child changed the way you viewed about the army,

648
00:32:29,761 --> 00:32:30,361
Speaker 2: and it did.

649
00:32:30,801 --> 00:32:31,441
Speaker 3: It did.

650
00:32:32,881 --> 00:32:34,281
Speaker 1: Your fun finished? Thing? Is?

651
00:32:34,401 --> 00:32:37,401
Speaker 3: I think in a way, I think my fun had

652
00:32:37,401 --> 00:32:40,201
Speaker 3: almost come to an end. Anyway, I had a wire

653
00:32:40,241 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 3: officer and he was honest. He was an asshole. It

654
00:32:44,321 --> 00:32:46,681
Speaker 3: was a right pig, and he hated women in the

655
00:32:46,801 --> 00:32:50,321
Speaker 3: army to the point where he he walked in. I

656
00:32:50,361 --> 00:32:53,881
Speaker 3: was at the Dubbo Army Base and I was stand

657
00:32:53,961 --> 00:32:55,961
Speaker 3: there for the weekend camp and he walked in one day.

658
00:32:56,321 --> 00:32:58,481
Speaker 3: And whether it's in a mood or not, I really

659
00:32:58,521 --> 00:33:00,561
Speaker 3: don't give a ship. He had no right to come

660
00:33:00,641 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 3: up and go, you know what, women shouldn't be in

661
00:33:02,241 --> 00:33:07,001
Speaker 3: the force. You've got no right being here. And I

662
00:33:07,081 --> 00:33:08,881
Speaker 3: just looked at him and I'm like, well, I've got

663
00:33:08,921 --> 00:33:12,081
Speaker 3: just as much right as you do. Sir, and he

664
00:33:12,121 --> 00:33:15,521
Speaker 3: looked at me and went, nah, you're the one that's

665
00:33:15,561 --> 00:33:19,761
Speaker 3: going to get us all killed. Oh shes and look,

666
00:33:21,401 --> 00:33:26,801
Speaker 3: knowing now what it all meant, Yeah, I can understand

667
00:33:26,801 --> 00:33:29,081
Speaker 3: why he said it. Did he have the right to

668
00:33:29,121 --> 00:33:33,481
Speaker 3: say it back then? Hell no, No, I hadn't even

669
00:33:33,961 --> 00:33:38,281
Speaker 3: I hadn't even hit mid twenties. And this I've got

670
00:33:38,281 --> 00:33:41,121
Speaker 3: this warrant officers standing there telling me that I had

671
00:33:41,121 --> 00:33:43,241
Speaker 3: no right being in the defense force because I was female?

672
00:33:43,441 --> 00:33:45,041
Speaker 1: Was that the only one time?

673
00:33:45,561 --> 00:33:47,801
Speaker 3: Oh no, I'd had a couple, I'd had a couple

674
00:33:47,801 --> 00:33:51,041
Speaker 3: of little altercations along the way with him, and it

675
00:33:51,121 --> 00:33:54,321
Speaker 3: was because of my CEO. You didn't do Kapoka, you

676
00:33:54,361 --> 00:33:56,361
Speaker 3: didn't do Puka Pony. You've got no right being here.

677
00:33:56,361 --> 00:33:58,361
Speaker 3: You did a two week boot camp. What right do

678
00:33:58,401 --> 00:34:01,321
Speaker 3: you have over us. We've done our servants, we've done

679
00:34:01,321 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 3: our time. And I was like, well, I may not

680
00:34:04,321 --> 00:34:06,881
Speaker 3: have done sick to eight weeks of it, but in

681
00:34:06,921 --> 00:34:11,161
Speaker 3: that two weeks I hardly slept. I lost I think

682
00:34:11,201 --> 00:34:13,121
Speaker 3: I went in a size twelve, I come out a

683
00:34:13,241 --> 00:34:14,161
Speaker 3: size six.

684
00:34:14,201 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 1: State.

685
00:34:15,161 --> 00:34:18,961
Speaker 3: I lost so much weight it cooked me, it did, say,

686
00:34:19,041 --> 00:34:22,041
Speaker 3: cooked me. Yeah, how long were you in four seven years.

687
00:34:22,121 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 2: Any regrets besides you know, like you know you didn't

688
00:34:24,521 --> 00:34:27,441
Speaker 2: go over to the said, but like, is any of

689
00:34:27,481 --> 00:34:28,081
Speaker 2: the regrets that.

690
00:34:28,121 --> 00:34:37,921
Speaker 3: You have punching that warrant oppos Oh? No, not look

691
00:34:39,201 --> 00:34:41,481
Speaker 3: yes and no. I wish I'd have been able to

692
00:34:41,481 --> 00:34:45,001
Speaker 3: stay longer, to see more, to do more, to get

693
00:34:45,001 --> 00:34:47,841
Speaker 3: above a private to actually get some sort of rank

694
00:34:48,641 --> 00:34:49,441
Speaker 3: would have been great.

695
00:34:50,361 --> 00:34:53,961
Speaker 2: But you did want to go back, even after your pregnancy.

696
00:34:54,001 --> 00:34:55,401
Speaker 2: Is there any time that you thought, you know what,

697
00:34:55,441 --> 00:34:56,761
Speaker 2: maybe I should give it another game?

698
00:34:57,081 --> 00:35:00,281
Speaker 3: Oh? Look, I thought about it, but where I lived

699
00:35:00,321 --> 00:35:03,481
Speaker 3: made it really hard to So I was three hours

700
00:35:03,961 --> 00:35:08,041
Speaker 3: one way from the closest army base. So to get

701
00:35:08,081 --> 00:35:12,361
Speaker 3: there and do the Tuesday nights every Tuesday night, three

702
00:35:12,401 --> 00:35:15,001
Speaker 3: hours there, you do three hours training, three hours home

703
00:35:16,081 --> 00:35:17,841
Speaker 3: and then get up and go to work the next day.

704
00:35:18,881 --> 00:35:22,241
Speaker 3: It just it wasn't feasible. And the roads between Cobra

705
00:35:22,321 --> 00:35:26,641
Speaker 3: and Dubbo are so treacherous at night. The wildlife that

706
00:35:26,881 --> 00:35:31,401
Speaker 3: you encounter, it's not just the kangaroos, between the goats,

707
00:35:31,401 --> 00:35:33,921
Speaker 3: the emails, the pigs, you're like, you name it, something

708
00:35:34,041 --> 00:35:36,681
Speaker 3: run out And it's not just that you've got the

709
00:35:36,681 --> 00:35:40,801
Speaker 3: trucks and those that you know that do all the

710
00:35:41,041 --> 00:35:43,001
Speaker 3: weird shit on the road that you don't want to

711
00:35:43,041 --> 00:35:45,401
Speaker 3: see and you don't want to be part of It's

712
00:35:46,001 --> 00:35:50,001
Speaker 3: It was hard. So no, Look, if I'd have gone back,

713
00:35:50,921 --> 00:35:53,561
Speaker 3: if I'd have gone back in, I wouldn't have the

714
00:35:53,601 --> 00:35:56,641
Speaker 3: life I have now. I wouldn't have the amazing opportunities

715
00:35:56,921 --> 00:35:58,921
Speaker 3: that I've got coming up that I have with my

716
00:35:59,001 --> 00:36:03,121
Speaker 3: husband and my second little one wouldn't be here. I

717
00:36:03,121 --> 00:36:06,001
Speaker 3: wouldn't have Hannah. But I think has happened on a

718
00:36:06,001 --> 00:36:07,521
Speaker 3: firm believer that things happened for a reason.

719
00:36:08,521 --> 00:36:11,681
Speaker 1: Have you ever gone through any violence or any domestic

720
00:36:11,721 --> 00:36:12,361
Speaker 1: balance herself?

721
00:36:13,241 --> 00:36:15,761
Speaker 3: Yeah, yep, while I was serving.

722
00:36:15,841 --> 00:36:18,081
Speaker 1: Yeah, was that because you were in the army? Look,

723
00:36:18,121 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 1: I think a lot of it was. Was he seven

724
00:36:20,561 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 1: or not seven? Nothing to do with the army?

725
00:36:22,521 --> 00:36:23,561
Speaker 3: No, absolutely nothing.

726
00:36:23,761 --> 00:36:25,121
Speaker 1: It was just a kind of a control thing.

727
00:36:25,761 --> 00:36:28,241
Speaker 3: I said. I think it was just the jealousy and

728
00:36:28,721 --> 00:36:31,641
Speaker 3: because when I went away, well you thinking back then,

729
00:36:31,681 --> 00:36:34,961
Speaker 3: it was it was a man's army and I was female.

730
00:36:35,561 --> 00:36:39,281
Speaker 3: So he put two and two together around wondering is

731
00:36:39,401 --> 00:36:41,161
Speaker 3: it was he put two and two together and got

732
00:36:41,161 --> 00:36:45,441
Speaker 3: twenty two. He was an idiot to the point I

733
00:36:45,481 --> 00:36:48,001
Speaker 3: wish I'd never met it. I really wish I'd never.

734
00:36:47,881 --> 00:36:51,281
Speaker 1: Met How did you cope with that? And how with

735
00:36:51,481 --> 00:36:53,001
Speaker 1: not knowing what was going to happen?

736
00:36:53,401 --> 00:36:55,241
Speaker 3: I just, I literally, I just I think I just

737
00:36:55,241 --> 00:36:56,601
Speaker 3: buried my head and seen and I didn't want to

738
00:36:56,601 --> 00:36:57,161
Speaker 3: know about it.

739
00:36:57,561 --> 00:36:59,681
Speaker 1: He just how long are you going?

740
00:36:59,801 --> 00:37:00,721
Speaker 3: For years?

741
00:37:01,361 --> 00:37:01,761
Speaker 1: Years?

742
00:37:01,961 --> 00:37:07,081
Speaker 3: Yes, I was like, batter what syndrome? One day to

743
00:37:07,161 --> 00:37:09,041
Speaker 3: stop it won't it won't happen again.

744
00:37:09,601 --> 00:37:12,921
Speaker 1: And he always came to you and said sorry, yeh yeah, yeah, yeah.

745
00:37:13,201 --> 00:37:16,361
Speaker 3: So that what what you hear and what you see

746
00:37:16,361 --> 00:37:19,481
Speaker 3: in the movies are you know, it's exactly the way

747
00:37:19,521 --> 00:37:19,921
Speaker 3: it happens.

748
00:37:20,041 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 1: Sometimes you think that if you do cry out for help,

749
00:37:22,481 --> 00:37:23,361
Speaker 1: that they're not going to be No.

750
00:37:23,561 --> 00:37:24,321
Speaker 3: One's going to believe you.

751
00:37:25,041 --> 00:37:25,881
Speaker 1: What was the worst thing?

752
00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:28,641
Speaker 3: The last the last thing, when you pin me up

753
00:37:28,641 --> 00:37:33,761
Speaker 3: against the wall with knife against to my throat. I'm

754
00:37:33,761 --> 00:37:37,401
Speaker 3: grateful for my neighbor. The neighbors stepped in. Without stepping in.

755
00:37:37,761 --> 00:37:41,561
Speaker 3: She sheared door sling, and she obviously heard enough of

756
00:37:41,601 --> 00:37:44,641
Speaker 3: them because what she told the police was she'd had

757
00:37:44,721 --> 00:37:47,921
Speaker 3: enough and she was scared for my safety. She knew

758
00:37:47,961 --> 00:37:50,401
Speaker 3: mom and dad, and that's that's the thing. I was

759
00:37:50,401 --> 00:37:52,081
Speaker 3: so scared to say to him because I didn't want

760
00:37:52,121 --> 00:37:54,521
Speaker 3: to ruin a reputation of mum and dad that was

761
00:37:54,561 --> 00:37:58,361
Speaker 3: so high respected in town. And she said it sounded

762
00:37:58,401 --> 00:38:03,521
Speaker 3: like gunshot, and knowing that he had access to firearms.

763
00:38:04,681 --> 00:38:08,281
Speaker 3: We mates, we used to go to pick chasing of

764
00:38:08,321 --> 00:38:12,681
Speaker 3: a nighttime and things like that. She called the police

765
00:38:13,521 --> 00:38:17,201
Speaker 3: and I was dragged outside and into the car by him.

766
00:38:17,721 --> 00:38:19,201
Speaker 3: I didn't know what was going to happen next. I

767
00:38:19,241 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 3: was just I think I was just numb, completely numb,

768
00:38:22,041 --> 00:38:24,321
Speaker 3: to the point where I just I don't even there's

769
00:38:24,361 --> 00:38:27,681
Speaker 3: bits I still can't remember, and I think my mom

770
00:38:27,761 --> 00:38:31,681
Speaker 3: has just shut them out deliberately, and I don't want

771
00:38:31,721 --> 00:38:38,081
Speaker 3: to think about it. I've got the most amazing, supportive

772
00:38:38,481 --> 00:38:41,921
Speaker 3: husband and family now I'm so grateful for and I

773
00:38:41,961 --> 00:38:44,921
Speaker 3: couldn't I couldn't ask for a better person to spend

774
00:38:45,001 --> 00:38:50,841
Speaker 3: my life with now. But to turn around and look

775
00:38:50,881 --> 00:38:56,961
Speaker 3: at out the car window and see a pistol standing

776
00:38:57,001 --> 00:39:02,201
Speaker 3: there with an officer behind it, I didn't know whether

777
00:39:04,321 --> 00:39:09,761
Speaker 3: to be scared or relieved. It was relief because he

778
00:39:09,841 --> 00:39:15,361
Speaker 3: was arrested, and that was it. That was it. I

779
00:39:15,401 --> 00:39:18,201
Speaker 3: don't know how I built courage I built courage to

780
00:39:18,201 --> 00:39:21,841
Speaker 3: to kick him out, all his stuff. It was outside gone,

781
00:39:22,281 --> 00:39:24,521
Speaker 3: made of mine now. And I said before he's not

782
00:39:24,561 --> 00:39:29,521
Speaker 3: with us anymore. He stayed. He stayed with me. He stayed,

783
00:39:29,721 --> 00:39:32,761
Speaker 3: God loving me. He sat on the lounge. I didn't sleep

784
00:39:32,801 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 3: at all that night. I tossed and turned just shit,

785
00:39:35,521 --> 00:39:37,161
Speaker 3: scared that he was going to come back. But he

786
00:39:37,401 --> 00:39:41,921
Speaker 3: stayed and sat on that lounge two nights, didn't leave

787
00:39:41,961 --> 00:39:44,481
Speaker 3: the house to just stayed there to make sure I

788
00:39:44,521 --> 00:39:49,321
Speaker 3: was going to be okay. No on, Yeah, he was out,

789
00:39:49,841 --> 00:39:51,521
Speaker 3: but what was going to come next, I didn't know.

790
00:39:52,201 --> 00:39:55,121
Speaker 3: And from what I know now, he's not even in

791
00:39:55,121 --> 00:39:59,561
Speaker 3: the country, which is for me. Last time that was Yeah,

792
00:39:59,601 --> 00:40:01,161
Speaker 3: that was the last time, thank god.

793
00:40:01,401 --> 00:40:04,921
Speaker 1: And just was still value in the army. Yeah you think.

794
00:40:04,761 --> 00:40:09,241
Speaker 3: That I have the I learned. I learned combat while

795
00:40:09,281 --> 00:40:12,401
Speaker 3: I was there, so I literally know. And I was

796
00:40:12,481 --> 00:40:15,641
Speaker 3: told when I joined. The first thing I was told

797
00:40:15,761 --> 00:40:19,401
Speaker 3: was you need to understand if you get into a fight,

798
00:40:20,161 --> 00:40:22,281
Speaker 3: you'll be charged by the defense force, but you can

799
00:40:22,321 --> 00:40:26,001
Speaker 3: be charged by the police force as well, like it's

800
00:40:26,001 --> 00:40:28,561
Speaker 3: a defense and a small charge. And I was taught

801
00:40:28,641 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 3: how to kill a person with one hit and look

802
00:40:32,001 --> 00:40:39,921
Speaker 3: at me, Okay, this question bug, But yeah, I was,

803
00:40:40,121 --> 00:40:41,921
Speaker 3: And I think I was always just too afraid of that.

804
00:40:42,601 --> 00:40:46,641
Speaker 3: I think I was more afraid of getting locked up there.

805
00:40:46,681 --> 00:40:50,241
Speaker 3: There'd be days where everything was rosy, like months, and

806
00:40:50,241 --> 00:40:51,601
Speaker 3: then all of a sudden, something can happened.

807
00:40:51,961 --> 00:40:55,201
Speaker 1: You ever go to like the base or wherever you wear,

808
00:40:56,481 --> 00:40:57,801
Speaker 1: would it be bruises on your own?

809
00:40:58,161 --> 00:41:02,361
Speaker 3: He knew, he knew how to not bruce. I think

810
00:41:02,561 --> 00:41:03,361
Speaker 3: Mum and Dad knew.

811
00:41:04,361 --> 00:41:06,921
Speaker 1: They didn't they want to get involved, or they just.

812
00:41:07,721 --> 00:41:10,601
Speaker 3: It was a family didn't want to get involved with, Okay,

813
00:41:10,961 --> 00:41:12,601
Speaker 3: but I think they knew. I think a lot of

814
00:41:12,601 --> 00:41:17,561
Speaker 3: the town knew because once he was gone and I'd

815
00:41:17,601 --> 00:41:21,201
Speaker 3: moved on and everything, that was like why. I even

816
00:41:21,241 --> 00:41:23,441
Speaker 3: asked myself, now, why what the hell was I thinking?

817
00:41:23,441 --> 00:41:24,721
Speaker 3: What the hell's gone through my head?

818
00:41:25,521 --> 00:41:26,321
Speaker 1: Stuck in that bubble.

819
00:41:27,521 --> 00:41:29,641
Speaker 3: But to go to go to work in the middle of

820
00:41:29,681 --> 00:41:34,241
Speaker 3: summer with a turtle neck shut on, it's enough to

821
00:41:34,401 --> 00:41:37,961
Speaker 3: sort of rise a few red flags. But it's yeah,

822
00:41:38,161 --> 00:41:39,681
Speaker 3: it's not common knowledge too.

823
00:41:40,841 --> 00:41:44,121
Speaker 2: That's why I've had a lot of females on my

824
00:41:44,201 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 2: show and with domestic violence, and they say the same

825
00:41:47,481 --> 00:41:50,241
Speaker 2: things what you say one they think it's going to stop.

826
00:41:50,441 --> 00:41:50,881
Speaker 3: It doesn't.

827
00:41:51,001 --> 00:41:52,001
Speaker 1: It doesn't too.

828
00:41:52,321 --> 00:41:56,561
Speaker 2: It's it's like you're scared to reach out because people

829
00:41:56,921 --> 00:41:59,721
Speaker 2: who reach out to might not believe you, or that

830
00:41:59,841 --> 00:42:03,641
Speaker 2: they just think it's all fucking ship, you know what

831
00:42:03,641 --> 00:42:05,481
Speaker 2: I mean. It's just like you're trying to get attention.

832
00:42:06,241 --> 00:42:10,081
Speaker 3: I think I don't think people want to get involved to. Yeah,

833
00:42:10,121 --> 00:42:12,361
Speaker 3: you don't want to get involved in somebody else's personal life.

834
00:42:12,761 --> 00:42:16,761
Speaker 3: That's that's their deal. You know, what happens behind closed

835
00:42:16,761 --> 00:42:21,041
Speaker 3: doors is the same with you, Like what was beyond

836
00:42:21,041 --> 00:42:23,681
Speaker 3: closed doors and not in my business. You know, that's

837
00:42:23,721 --> 00:42:28,321
Speaker 3: your life, not mine. So but yeah, I've well and

838
00:42:28,361 --> 00:42:31,601
Speaker 3: truly moved on. Yeah, as I say, what doesn't kill

839
00:42:31,601 --> 00:42:32,601
Speaker 3: you makes you're stronger.

840
00:42:32,321 --> 00:42:37,121
Speaker 1: Right correct, very correct, very correct. But I don't think

841
00:42:37,121 --> 00:42:38,921
Speaker 1: you'd be involved in army or anything like that now

842
00:42:39,081 --> 00:42:44,001
Speaker 1: that that's it. That's just a it's for me.

843
00:42:44,521 --> 00:42:48,201
Speaker 3: Look, i still have the utmost respect to the Defense Force,

844
00:42:48,241 --> 00:42:50,321
Speaker 3: and I've got a lot of mates that went to

845
00:42:50,401 --> 00:42:53,841
Speaker 3: team or one in particularly is actually from home. It

846
00:42:54,041 --> 00:42:56,721
Speaker 3: missed a lot of them up so bad. There was

847
00:42:56,801 --> 00:42:58,841
Speaker 3: ship that they shouldn't have done and shouldn't have seen.

848
00:42:58,961 --> 00:43:03,401
Speaker 3: And I'm really grateful I didn't go now because I

849
00:43:03,401 --> 00:43:06,481
Speaker 3: didn't have to have that memory. But look, I have

850
00:43:07,121 --> 00:43:10,081
Speaker 3: that utmost respect. I go to Inzac Day every year.

851
00:43:10,161 --> 00:43:13,681
Speaker 3: I'm what I do now. I'm actually still in a

852
00:43:13,681 --> 00:43:16,481
Speaker 3: way involved with the Defense Force without being part of

853
00:43:16,481 --> 00:43:21,601
Speaker 3: the Defense Force. So that knowledge that I've had helps

854
00:43:21,641 --> 00:43:25,201
Speaker 3: me where I currently work. So I manage a sports

855
00:43:25,201 --> 00:43:28,401
Speaker 3: supplement store. How its Singleton, and because we've got the

856
00:43:28,481 --> 00:43:30,721
Speaker 3: Army base there, the boys get off the bus on

857
00:43:30,761 --> 00:43:33,601
Speaker 3: a Thursday night, you can guarantee four o'clock. You watch

858
00:43:33,641 --> 00:43:35,321
Speaker 3: the coaches come through and you say to count the

859
00:43:35,361 --> 00:43:37,241
Speaker 3: heads and go, yep, that's a loaded bus, shit wearing

860
00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:39,601
Speaker 3: for a long night. And that generally means I'm standing

861
00:43:39,641 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 3: there and I get yes, ma'am, Amen, hello, amen. It's

862
00:43:42,521 --> 00:43:44,481
Speaker 3: like the first time they did it. Oh my dude,

863
00:43:44,561 --> 00:43:48,601
Speaker 3: I'm not that old. But even my staff now he

864
00:43:48,761 --> 00:43:50,520
Speaker 3: calls me me and I'm like, yeah, it's a side

865
00:43:50,521 --> 00:43:52,361
Speaker 3: of respect. Anyone in the Defense Force has to call

866
00:43:52,401 --> 00:43:54,081
Speaker 3: you mem and so it's just the way it is.

867
00:43:54,881 --> 00:43:58,641
Speaker 1: But what was describe you one word.

868
00:43:58,881 --> 00:44:03,561
Speaker 3: Resilient, determined. I'm now one of those people. You you

869
00:44:03,641 --> 00:44:05,721
Speaker 3: asked me to do something, you tell me I can't

870
00:44:05,761 --> 00:44:08,481
Speaker 3: do it. It's probably the worst thing you could do,

871
00:44:08,761 --> 00:44:12,801
Speaker 3: because I'm going to find a way. It's just it's

872
00:44:12,881 --> 00:44:17,241
Speaker 3: just me. That's the way I've been raised to have

873
00:44:17,361 --> 00:44:22,121
Speaker 3: that thick skin, you know. And look, I could say, look,

874
00:44:22,121 --> 00:44:26,161
Speaker 3: I had a horrible childhood, but I didn't. I'm lucky

875
00:44:26,201 --> 00:44:29,281
Speaker 3: I have. My parents are still together, which is almost

876
00:44:29,681 --> 00:44:32,521
Speaker 3: unheard of this day and age. I was lucky I

877
00:44:32,561 --> 00:44:36,801
Speaker 3: grew up in the bush. It sort of made me

878
00:44:36,841 --> 00:44:39,281
Speaker 3: a little more grounded in a way I supposed to

879
00:44:39,481 --> 00:44:45,601
Speaker 3: being brought up in the city. Resilient and determined thing.

880
00:44:46,161 --> 00:44:48,241
Speaker 3: I appreciate it, things having