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Speaker 1: Coming up on Relatables, she needs to find her spark.

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Speaker 1: So every single person listening right now has a spark.

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Speaker 1: If you're overweight, you've got shited skin, you got a

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Speaker 1: shit job, you think you're dumb, you've got ADHD, you've

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Speaker 1: got dyslexia.

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Speaker 2: Something likes the spark.

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Speaker 1: Now, your brain is tricking you and saying like you're

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Speaker 1: not good enough, like no one's ever going to love you.

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Speaker 1: You think of all these things, But every single person

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Speaker 1: has a spark because it's not about all these exterior things.

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Speaker 1: It's about what's inside. They little ticker inside of you.

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Speaker 1: It's important. And I think all these exterior things, like

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Speaker 1: a messy room, her personality, she likes the farm, or

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Speaker 1: her brain spiraling is making her think that her spark

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Speaker 1: isn't good enough for someone else to love. So I

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Speaker 1: think she's got to find that spark within before she

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Speaker 1: looks with love elsewhere. The Relatables podcast is hosted by myself,

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Speaker 1: Oddie Clark aka Mom and my partner in crime, mister

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Speaker 1: Jake Craig aka Daddy. All right, Jake, to start the episode,

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Speaker 1: I have a bone to pick with you, Okay. Firstly,

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Speaker 1: I want to introduce you to a new theory I've

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Speaker 1: just found out about. Okay, have you heard about systems

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Speaker 1: in relationships?

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Speaker 2: You haven't? Never, Well, this is good. It's quite an

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Speaker 2: easy concept to wrap your head around. But us beating

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Speaker 2: by the way.

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Speaker 1: But once you know about it, it's good to recognize

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Speaker 1: where you are in the system. And systems in relationships

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Speaker 1: can be romantic but also family or work or basically

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Speaker 1: any fucking relationship in the world.

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Speaker 2: Oh so it's not like just a it's not like

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Speaker 2: just like boyfriend girlfriend a boyfriend, like it's like friendship too,

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Speaker 2: friendship too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, mom, dad, I'm talking friendship unless you're a lover

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Speaker 1: or something. I don't know, unless you have feelings to

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Speaker 1: confess for me. Right now, you're trying to pull something

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Speaker 1: out of it.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. The stage is yours. You got to

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Speaker 2: give you five seconds, You got anything to say? Ah,

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Speaker 2: I love you, You're a good friend. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So systems in a relationship are the given roles, that

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Speaker 1: sort of roles or responsibility to just fall on a

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Speaker 1: person and you really don't have any control of what's happening.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I like my role. I know where this

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Speaker 2: is going. And Jake's role is the role to be

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Speaker 2: and if you're in a friendship, guys, I just want

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Speaker 2: to point that out. It's a good friend to have.

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Speaker 1: So this is also a good example of what two

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Speaker 1: people in a relationship could say, Jake, I don't think

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Speaker 1: you're doing enough in the relationship. All the responsibilities are

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Speaker 1: falling on me. I'm getting overwhelmed.

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Speaker 2: May I have a second to defend myself? Sidebar, Guys,

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Speaker 2: I'm actually joking. I think you do enough. But that

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Speaker 2: would be a great example in a relationship. My defense

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Speaker 2: to that is I actually wouldn't argue with that. To

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Speaker 2: be honest with you, it's I wouldn't argue with that,

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Speaker 2: but I took a very good initiative and getting those

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Speaker 2: visa sorts, I will point out I took some great

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Speaker 2: initiative for getting those visis. Is what made me think

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Speaker 2: of it.

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Speaker 1: Actually, So, do you know that constant joke we always

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Speaker 1: play that girls are always good at booking holidays. Yes,

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Speaker 1: that's one of their roles in the systems that have

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Speaker 1: just fallen to them. That's always the girlfriend's books holidays. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and some girlfriends might not like that. And what made

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Speaker 1: me think of this. Usually in Jake and I's relationship.

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Speaker 1: I'm the one who books everything. But for some reason,

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Speaker 1: he took the initiative we're going to America soon, and

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Speaker 1: he did the research behind our visas and in Airbnb.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, I was, I was pretty proud

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Speaker 2: of myself. I will say the motivation to have me

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Speaker 2: do it and Addie not do it is I was

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Speaker 2: like stressing about the whole visa. I feel like I

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Speaker 2: was like, what is this guy doing it? I was

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Speaker 2: stressed about the whole visa sitch. And I was just like,

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Speaker 2: for fuck, like we gotta get some ship book just

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Speaker 2: so week because we need it booked, like blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: And so I was like, I just got to do it,

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Speaker 2: Like I think. So I got to stress you out

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Speaker 2: if I want stuff done, yeah yeah, yeah no, if

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Speaker 2: you the way to get me to do stuff is

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Speaker 2: to stress me out. But all jokes aside, I actually

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Speaker 2: do think you do enough. Thank you. I just wanted to.

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Speaker 2: I think use that too much.

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Speaker 1: Use use that as an example, but also putting it

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Speaker 1: in broad spectrum for all relationships out there. If you

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Speaker 1: are in a family or a relationship, look at your

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Speaker 1: positioning right now and the systems you do do you

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Speaker 1: think you do too much? Do you think you do

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Speaker 1: too less? Or do you think you do write right amount?

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Speaker 1: And a good person to be. I was thinking, like

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Speaker 1: in a family, roles are like parents do most things.

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Speaker 1: Oldest sibling does probably the next most things. If you've

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Speaker 1: got three and you're the littlest sibling.

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Speaker 2: You are cheering. All you got to do is rock

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Speaker 2: up with your fucking xbox. I'm not I'm not the

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Speaker 2: youngest sibling, but I'm the second oldest. That's a good

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Speaker 2: place to be. I was gonna say, I think it

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Speaker 2: is the best place to be because of what you

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Speaker 2: just said. How your parents growing up like they do everything,

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Speaker 2: and then the oldest sibling was like the test child.

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Speaker 2: They got more disciplined, you know, they have a little

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Speaker 2: bit more trauma maybe I don't know. And then the

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Speaker 2: second one they're like eased into it, but they still

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Speaker 2: discipline you enough where they want you to be like,

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Speaker 2: you know, good, respectful. You know, your parents maybe were

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Speaker 2: still pretty young and in my family, at least when

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Speaker 2: me and Joanna were young, my parents had no money

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Speaker 2: and so Joanna was the tester and then I was

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Speaker 2: the second. She might have got a little more disciplined.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, but basically all I remember is just

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Speaker 2: like having a sick childhood and then I kind of

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Speaker 2: understand money and like what it's like to have it

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Speaker 2: and what it's like to not have it. But both

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Speaker 2: my mom and dad both remarried and then later on

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Speaker 2: in their lives both got more money than when me

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Speaker 2: and Johanna were young. That's what happens. And then they

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Speaker 2: both had two more kids, and so those two kids

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Speaker 2: from each one, not that it wouldn't be fucking sick

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Speaker 2: to be them, but just I guess haven't fully seen

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Speaker 2: the world like everything, like and like fair enough, like

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Speaker 2: you know, you're not gonna fucking have You're not gonna

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Speaker 2: have some money and then be like, you know what,

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Speaker 2: let's act poor for the kids and just so they understand,

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Speaker 2: because you know, you just want to try and teach

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Speaker 2: them in a different way. Yeah, but seeing it all

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Speaker 2: and it's a very I'm very happy the place I am.

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Speaker 1: If you could go back, I know, hindsight it's a bitch,

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Speaker 1: but would you prefer to be brought up in the

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Speaker 1: poorer upbringing or the rich, baller money upbringing?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, man, I'm very.

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Speaker 1: Very happy the person you comes from, just like figuring

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Speaker 1: out life. I'm very happy because not once have I

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Speaker 1: ever thought my parents are poor, even you know now

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Speaker 1: having conversations with them now, they'll be like, oh, yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: we were struggling.

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Speaker 2: It's at that point in time because I'll bring up

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Speaker 2: a memory and they'll then they'll go, oh, no, we

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Speaker 2: were struggling. And I'm like, really, it didn't seem like it.

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Speaker 2: How good is it to hear that? And like they

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Speaker 2: hit it so well. I know as a kid, you

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Speaker 2: just thought, oh fuck, mum and dad are doing right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's so it's.

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Speaker 1: Funny to think about and talking about relationships, like what

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Speaker 1: we do on the podcast quite a lot is like

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Speaker 1: if it is a serious matter. We like to laugh

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Speaker 1: about things on this podcast, but it's a serious matter.

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Speaker 1: But if you're in a relationship, it usually falls on

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Speaker 1: the female all the time. That there's this old and

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Speaker 1: I don't know, stereotype where it just like guys, all

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Speaker 1: they have to do is earn the money and then

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Speaker 1: all the other roles in the relationship fall into the partner,

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Speaker 1: which is usually the female. So yeah, like the males

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Speaker 1: like the provider, yeah, which is a thing of the past,

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Speaker 1: and I think it's definitely moving that way. Yeah, toxic

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Speaker 1: and like everything should be fucking equal. You both do

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Speaker 1: your part and add to you' both to one hundred

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Speaker 1: percent and make it two hundred percent. So if anyone

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Speaker 1: out there is feeling that, I think it's completely understandable

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Speaker 1: to feel overwhelmed and just like the systems aren't adding up.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to. Yeah, I want to think about my

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Speaker 2: thinking about my relationship with my sister right now. It's

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Speaker 2: a good relationship, like I'm obviously very happy with it,

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Speaker 2: but we lived together and I don't remember last time

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Speaker 2: I put a lot of towels in the just think

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Speaker 2: that I was thinking about yesterday, the simple stuff like that,

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Speaker 2: when did you get a new tower to go on

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Speaker 2: the shower the last night? And the towel I had

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Speaker 2: used and put in the dirty wash that I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know what, I'll put a lot of washing on too.

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Speaker 2: It was clean and dried and back of the cover,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, fuck, I haven't done that for

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Speaker 2: a while. Better do that next something like that.

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Speaker 1: But actually, to back anyone who is the jake in

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Speaker 1: the relationship, I like to organize things and have it

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Speaker 1: my ways.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, it's sort of a control thing in a

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Speaker 2: way you are more in control. Yeah. And and the

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Speaker 2: other thing, not that I want to control Jake's actions,

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Speaker 2: but like I want to like have a say in

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Speaker 2: the airbnb, in the bed I'm going to be sleeping in. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's what it is. I want to control the factors

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Speaker 2: of that. I sent only three airbnbs, and and there

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Speaker 2: was so there was three of them. They were all

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Speaker 2: very similar in price, didn't really matter which one we chose.

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Speaker 2: And there was one that was so we want to

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Speaker 2: stay near this beach, and there was one that was

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Speaker 2: an hour's walk but like a five minute drive or whatever.

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Speaker 2: And then there was one that was like in the middle,

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Speaker 2: and then there was one that was like five minutes

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Speaker 2: from the beach, and I all I looked at was

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Speaker 2: that right? And then I tried to send him some

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Speaker 2: pros and cons of each, and I was like, I'm

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Speaker 2: doing some due diligence here. He has to be impressed.

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Speaker 2: And then all he got back was like that one

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Speaker 2: coast the beach is right near a dog pound. And

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Speaker 2: I was like, fuck, how do you know when you

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Speaker 2: goes to look at the reviews and I was like, fuck,

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Speaker 2: I didn't even look at any reviews. Jack sent me

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Speaker 2: this thing and all the reviews like three stars, like

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Speaker 2: nice place, really loud next to a dog shelter, and

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Speaker 2: I'm just thinking, I was like this, I know Jack

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Speaker 2: loves dogs, Like fuck, you know what, I don't want to

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Speaker 2: sleep next. I'm so happy that I sent him to

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Speaker 2: you and didn't just like book one and be like

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Speaker 2: I got to Snea the beach blah blah blah. He goes, Now,

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Speaker 2: let's do the Let's do the slightly cheaper probably the

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Speaker 2: nicest one, but the furthest away, and we'll just get

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Speaker 2: lined by because like apparently they're everywhere in there anyway. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: what about you? What about it? Do you have? Reckon?

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Speaker 2: I think our relationship feels very equal. I have no quarrels.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was just bringing that up. A quarrels either,

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't have any quarrels. What about with what about

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Speaker 2: you and your brother? Like I reckon, if I brought

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Speaker 2: it up with Joanna, she'd have a few quarrels. I

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Speaker 2: don't have any quarrels with her because I'm definitely doing less.

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Speaker 1: I don't know I feel like my brother's relationship is

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Speaker 1: a little bit different. He's three years older than me,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like we've got to a stage where

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Speaker 1: we're both completely independent.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and we our lives don't really overlap at all anymore. Anah,

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Speaker 2: you still live in the same house, right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Yah, we still live in the same house. He's moving,

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Speaker 1: he's brought a house. He's moving out in the next

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Speaker 1: three or four months or something. But systems in relationship

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Speaker 1: assess where you are and voice up if you don't

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Speaker 1: think you're in the right position.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, voice up. And I actually another thing I've seen

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Speaker 2: a whole bunch of is like talking about systems and

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Speaker 2: relationships with parents, right, I always get these like little

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Speaker 2: real slide shows on TikTok. I'm getting like a whole

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Speaker 2: bunch of them lately. And I saw one and it

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Speaker 2: was like a quote from a dad. Yeah, it's usually

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Speaker 2: dads that you just cant to it. Yes, I don't know,

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Speaker 2: could be a mum too, But I saw a quote

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Speaker 2: from a dad and it was like the phone goes

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Speaker 2: both ways and and then the next page it was

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Speaker 2: like a reassurance thing for the kids, saying, you know,

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Speaker 2: like the phone doesn't go both ways? What do you mean?

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Speaker 2: So like the dad, So I think maybe it's in

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Speaker 2: the in the context of it, it was like maybe

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Speaker 2: a daughter or a son was sent to their dad,

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Speaker 2: like you know, you never call me if you want

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Speaker 2: a relationship, but you never fucking call me. You never return.

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Speaker 2: And so then he says, well, the phone goes both ways.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, look, it's not wrong. But also when it's

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Speaker 2: a father and a son, or a mother and a son,

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Speaker 2: or a mother and a daughter and a father and

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Speaker 2: a daughter, it kind of should be. There was an

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Speaker 2: argument that it should be one way, like a kid

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Speaker 2: should never have to like beg for attention from their parents. No,

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Speaker 2: not really, and not that it's a bad thing to

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Speaker 2: call them, but once you if you're the one that

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Speaker 2: calls them every single time, I.

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Speaker 1: Think definitely, in the systems with your parents, they should

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Speaker 1: take up most of the roles and responsibilities.

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Speaker 2: That's a given. But it's unfortunately some kids don't get that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I agree with you. I think they should take it

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Speaker 2: that up. Like you know, if you with a friend,

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Speaker 2: sometimes people will test out with friends, like you know,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to stop initiating hangouts. Yeah, and then you know,

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Speaker 2: the other friend doesn't message ever, so then you kind

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Speaker 2: of find out it was a one sided relationship, whereas

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Speaker 2: a friendship I think should be fifty to fifty. But

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Speaker 2: I think in a relationship with your parents should be

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Speaker 2: a bit more of them. I think I to fucking

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Speaker 2: keep it going with you and to lead on a joke.

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Speaker 1: Tell you one thing I always envied growing up as

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Speaker 1: a kid is the systems where their mum always clean

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Speaker 1: their room for them.

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Speaker 2: I fucking would I love that? Ay, I would have

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Speaker 2: loved it.

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Speaker 1: Always went to my mate's houses and then lord, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you'd go to their house and it was like spotless.

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Speaker 1: Then you go on their room spotless, And I was like,

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Speaker 1: does anyone fucking living?

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Speaker 2: Because when I have.

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Speaker 1: To clean my room, obviously able to do the best job,

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Speaker 1: but I'm like cleaning it before my friends come over

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Speaker 1: all frantically, and shit, I that is.

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Speaker 2: So funny because we have a few friends whose parents

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Speaker 2: clean their room. Yeah, And so that's why when I

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Speaker 2: was very young, obviously I assume it was the same.

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Speaker 2: I stopped to like fucking twelve. Yeah, like my mum

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Speaker 2: she would probably come down and clean my room or

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Speaker 2: maybe get mad at me to clean. I don't know,

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Speaker 2: but I remember when I was I was probably seventeen,

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Speaker 2: which is way twelve to have your parents clean your room.

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Speaker 2: And they never did. Yeah. But one time I had

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Speaker 2: a girlfriend that my parents were overly fond of. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and my room was a mess, right, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I think like my parents had maybe just spoken to

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Speaker 2: me about his girlfriend, and they were kind of like like,

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Speaker 2: they never told me to break up. Yeah, yeah, or

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Speaker 2: anything like that. They would always like obviously trying to

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Speaker 2: give me in a make me make the decision. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: They would just tell me what they think, which is fair,

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Speaker 2: and they were very correct. But I remember my stepmom

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Speaker 2: comes in and she was in my room and my

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Speaker 2: room was a mess, and I hadn't done launchry for ages,

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Speaker 2: and she goes like what did I say? I think.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I think I'm going to break up

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Speaker 2: with her. She goes, I'll do all your laundry, and

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Speaker 2: then that day she did all my launch Yeah. This

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Speaker 2: is the I was like, fuck, holy shit, it was

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Speaker 2: so childish. My room was spotless for like a week.

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Speaker 2: It was probably back to normal. Your girlfriend and you

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Speaker 2: just broke up. We was probably like, oh, so sad.

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Speaker 2: And you're like the best I ever pretty laundry for

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Speaker 2: a week kind of even begin to tell you, like

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Speaker 2: how toxic my first ever relationship was. It's like such

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Speaker 2: that it's like the biggest learning curve I think I

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Speaker 2: have ever. You're chucked in a deep band. I mean

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Speaker 2: like everyone does, but like, nah, you're chucked in a

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Speaker 2: deep I.

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Speaker 3: Just like I I am not unhappy that it happened, though,

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Speaker 3: because I definitely learned so much about like maybe characteristics

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Speaker 3: and things to look out for.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. It was just so I think it's

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Speaker 2: good ton for a different day.

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Speaker 1: It's good to learn early because some people also get

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Speaker 1: trapped in like the first love.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that was it. Yeah yeah, and you've see

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Speaker 2: it out the first time, yeah, like sixteen seventy and eight,

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Speaker 2: and they're like, oh shit, it was limerents. Yeah, what

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Speaker 2: to call you when you was limerates, when you have

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Speaker 2: like glasses where they can do no wrong. You had

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Speaker 2: that because his first love, which is yeah, love goals.

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Speaker 2: We'll make a new name, love goggle, love goggles, which

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Speaker 2: is I think the earlier those love goggles can come

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Speaker 2: off is the better for figuring out a real good relationship. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: shout out to my first ever like boss, proper boss,

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Speaker 2: you're gonna say first ever, shout out to my first

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Speaker 2: ever X because I learnt a lot, not shout out

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Speaker 2: for the way you acted shout out, but shouted my

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Speaker 2: first ever boss, who also said like, look, mate, you

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Speaker 2: know you're seventeen eighteen whenever. At this age, it's more

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Speaker 2: lust than love. Yeah, And I was like, facts, he goes,

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Speaker 2: if she stopped, if you guys stopped having sex, what

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Speaker 2: would happen? And I'd be like, well, I wouldn't want to,

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Speaker 2: like and saying for her, you know, like this is

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Speaker 2: how it is. But yeah, sorry, I'll move on. I

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Speaker 2: keep talking. Okay, guys, we're doing a dilemma. You know

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Speaker 2: what to do? Description of this video? It would be

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Speaker 2: a link Instagram by I scrolled down picked lambs all anonymous. Okay,

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00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:08,360
Speaker 2: this is titled. I've been liking the title. Yeah, keep

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00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,040
Speaker 2: titling them. I'm liking it. Do you have a scare

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00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:13,920
Speaker 2: people or you're asking me to do like titlan it's

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Speaker 2: scare people. How to ask a man if he has

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Speaker 2: been STD tested? Okay, So I met this man on

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Speaker 2: a night out and I was compelled to speak with him.

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Speaker 2: He was standing on the street and I was on

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Speaker 2: my way home, but I had to stop and make

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Speaker 2: up a fake scenario to speak with him. I went

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Speaker 2: up to him like, in quotes, babe, what are you doing?

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Speaker 2: And he looked all confused, and I said, to these

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Speaker 2: random people he was near in quotes again, sorry, this

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Speaker 2: is my boyfriend of five years. Anyway, man thought I

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Speaker 2: was wild, and so we went for drinks and spent

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Speaker 2: the rest of the night together. The next day we

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00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,760
Speaker 2: were texting and he had planned our first date. We

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Speaker 2: had the best time, and he says in quotes he

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Speaker 2: has been waiting for a girl like me, and then

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00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,720
Speaker 2: in brackets, but I can't tell if this is something

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Speaker 2: men love to say they do. Our next date, I

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Speaker 2: met all his friends and they all said I was

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Speaker 2: lovely and gorgeous and told him not to fuck it up,

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Speaker 2: which is really assuring, as he replied, no way. We

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Speaker 2: spent all weekend together and it was such a nice

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Speaker 2: touch of what life would be like even after a

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Speaker 2: couple of dates. But we haven't slept together yet, and

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Speaker 2: this man isn't a snack, He's a meal, so I

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Speaker 2: am assuming he is sleeping with others or has been.

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Speaker 2: How after such a short time do I ask if

375
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Speaker 2: he is sleeping with someone else? Not for us to

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Speaker 2: be exclusive, even though I would like that, but more

377
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,600
Speaker 2: for my health. Please help, because I swear you've never

378
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,520
Speaker 2: touched on this. Also, you guys are the goats. I

379
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,240
Speaker 2: listened to you both at work all day. Ah, thank

380
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,520
Speaker 2: you very much. I like this by the way she

381
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:05,840
Speaker 2: wrote it full course meal. Yeah. Also also, I look,

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00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:09,160
Speaker 2: I don't not believe you, but the balls on you, lady, Yeah,

383
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,920
Speaker 2: we've got bigger balls than every man out there, going

384
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,199
Speaker 2: up and being like yo, babe, like what's up and

385
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,920
Speaker 2: then saying to a group of people after he looks

386
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Speaker 2: all confused, like you saying sorry, some my boyfriend of

387
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:20,760
Speaker 2: five years, because it's like trying to hint to them

388
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,280
Speaker 2: that he's trying to make you look stupid in front

389
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:25,439
Speaker 2: of them, like what she swept him off her off

390
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:30,199
Speaker 2: his feet, bro. Yeah, wild I love the confidence on

391
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:34,040
Speaker 2: this girl. I know, so do I, And but I

392
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,280
Speaker 2: have a discrepancy with this story, Jake. A discrepancy.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so she wants to know if he's clean with STDSP.

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00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:45,520
Speaker 1: But then she kind of alluded to the fact she

395
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Speaker 1: wanted to ask if he's sleeping with anyone else. Yep,

396
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 1: two different things.

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00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:54,560
Speaker 2: Right, Well, no, she's just assuming but the way yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,

398
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,560
Speaker 2: but she said like he's a snack? No, sorry, he's

399
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:56,880
Speaker 2: a meal.

400
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,320
Speaker 1: How how do I ask if he's sleeping with anyone else?

401
00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:01,840
Speaker 1: Slash if he's They're two very separate things.

402
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,359
Speaker 2: Also, maybe she's trying to be like I don't know that.

403
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,080
Speaker 2: I don't think she wants to ask him like obviously

404
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,600
Speaker 2: looking with other people. I think she more wants to

405
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 2: be able to get out of him whether or not

406
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,439
Speaker 2: he has like a clean st details.

407
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 1: I agree with you, but also I want to make

408
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 1: it clear that just ask just ask him.

409
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was when I read this the first

410
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,040
Speaker 2: time and thought I'd bring it on. I don't think

411
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,960
Speaker 2: she's gonna give a shit about me saying this. But Beth,

412
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,000
Speaker 2: my girlfriend, the first time we slept together, she straight

413
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,879
Speaker 2: up just said it. And the first person who ever

414
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,879
Speaker 2: asked me, by the way, but she just said it,

415
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,639
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, it didn't make it awkward

416
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,200
Speaker 2: or anything. I was just like, I was like, oh shit,

417
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,119
Speaker 2: I'll get that for you. Yeah, And I ended up

418
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:41,919
Speaker 2: going and get one. I think I was clean by

419
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Speaker 2: the way, I.

420
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Speaker 1: Think props to the girl too, because she can recognize that,

421
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,720
Speaker 1: like it's not all about sex and like to protect yourself.

422
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:50,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like.

423
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,919
Speaker 1: It's completely If you think you can't ask, he's probably

424
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,320
Speaker 1: not a good environment to be in with the guy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think the best advice I could it's like

426
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,960
Speaker 2: thing for a condom, Just be like, oh, yeah, by

427
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 2: the way, like have you had an STD tech check recently? Yeah?

428
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:10,719
Speaker 2: And also look not you didn't ask this, But like

429
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,800
Speaker 2: Otti said, they are two different things. It sounds like

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00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,240
Speaker 2: you do want to know whether or not he's sleeping

431
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:15,760
Speaker 2: with other people.

432
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm saying definitely, don't bring it up in the

433
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,520
Speaker 1: same conversation, be like are you sleeping with anyone else?

434
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:24,399
Speaker 2: And have you got an STD check? Like I'd be

435
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,680
Speaker 2: like fucking hell, Like what it's like do you care

436
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,119
Speaker 2: or not? Like I'd feel like you have an ulterior

437
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:32,680
Speaker 2: ultimotive to get to like are you sleeping with anyone else?

438
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,399
Speaker 2: And do you have an STT check? It might just

439
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,640
Speaker 2: look like you just want to fuck him. Yeah, So

440
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 2: maybe do one at a time. That's what I think.

441
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:40,680
Speaker 2: Do the STD test first to see if you want

442
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 2: to sleep with it. Maybe I don't know, especially.

443
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 1: Like not to be I think everyone should only sleep

444
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,399
Speaker 1: with one person at a time. But you've caught this

445
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 1: guy off guard and it's been like five days, so

446
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 1: like if he's got a side piece on the side, like,

447
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 1: it's not his fault right now?

448
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 2: Yeah? No, like I mean really no, Yeah, you can't

449
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,120
Speaker 2: be upset about.

450
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,439
Speaker 1: It, like eiven a week or two, like realize he

451
00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:58,560
Speaker 1: likes you, and then be like I don't want to

452
00:20:58,560 --> 00:20:59,679
Speaker 1: sleep with this other person anymore.

453
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 2: Like no, I mean yeah, true, Like do you reckon?

454
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 2: Surely surely he's not. I don't. I don't want to

455
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 2: start overthinking and get in the head, but I reckon

456
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 2: he coming from a boy's perspective. Actually, let me okay,

457
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 2: come from a boy's perspective. I can confidently say that

458
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 2: he isn't sleeping with anyone else right now.

459
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 4: Yeah.

460
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,879
Speaker 1: What's with girls thinking guys have rosters? Oh well, I

461
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,400
Speaker 1: think some guys do, do they? Though I could never

462
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 1: have more than I have sex with more than one

463
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 1: person at once.

464
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 2: No, like from my own experience, I will say he

465
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 2: has he is not sleeping with anyone else right now,

466
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:37,679
Speaker 2: because do it. I don't really understand that. Maybe do

467
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 2: I like, I get to have an intimate connection with

468
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:41,760
Speaker 2: one person. I suppose I don't see his intimate connections today.

469
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:45,800
Speaker 2: I don't know. I've never looked at sex as not

470
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,280
Speaker 2: an intimate thing.

471
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 1: I guess I think, Well, some guys do see girls

472
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,760
Speaker 1: as objects and they just want to have sex. Oh,

473
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 1: there's one goal achieved. Let's move to the next goal.

474
00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:00,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, some people just men and women include to make

475
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,159
Speaker 2: way more men obviously, but like they just like to fuck.

476
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,159
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I like to fuck, but like that, I

477
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 4: like to, but I also like to have the key

478
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 4: underlying sense of love in the background, and you also

479
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 4: have when you have that with someone, you have fuck sessions,

480
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,160
Speaker 4: and you also have love making sessions, which I think

481
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 4: add to these sex when.

482
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 2: You get you don't know what you're gonna get when

483
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 2: you get down to it. I wait, Na, sex is

484
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 2: so much better when it's love.

485
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And like I just like talking after

486
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:31,160
Speaker 1: and like it's not awkward, it's just like fun. It's

487
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,959
Speaker 1: more enjoyable than just fucking having a goal and finishing

488
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 1: and then moving on to the next one. To get

489
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 1: my statistics up because I'm a fucking man. Like I've

490
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,399
Speaker 1: never understood that, but.

491
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 2: I would one thing. I would love to be able

492
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:47,200
Speaker 2: to preach to the world, particularly young men, because I

493
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,200
Speaker 2: remember thinking it was a thing because all your friends

494
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 2: talk about it, and it's like I remember a lot

495
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:58,400
Speaker 2: of guys they want a high BodyCount, a high BodyCount.

496
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 2: I remember when I was eighteen. Yeah, that's a guys

497
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 2: used to talk about it. Like I remember thinking when

498
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 2: I was young and immature, I hope I have a

499
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,160
Speaker 2: high body count. When I'm modern, I'm thinking back when

500
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,200
Speaker 2: I'm like, why was I fucking thinking that? Like if

501
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 2: my body count was was one, I wouldn't be unhappy,

502
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:13,920
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like, Yeah.

503
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 1: It's weird, Like when we're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, that's all

504
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,240
Speaker 1: we talked about and would have like one or two,

505
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,479
Speaker 1: and from someone guy would have like seven and we

506
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:21,240
Speaker 1: thought he was the king.

507
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, or in back in like year ten, year eleven,

508
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 2: the guy that had fucking seven was crazy.

509
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, But now looking back at it, that hasn't even

510
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 1: been a conversation since we're like fucking twenty.

511
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 2: No, that's such a good point. I haven't had a

512
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,239
Speaker 2: like a watch your body count in conversation with one

513
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:44,760
Speaker 2: of my friends fucking forever. Should we have it? Then?

514
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,480
Speaker 2: What's your body count? Yeah, let's go. I think it's

515
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:53,399
Speaker 2: definitely on one hand, but no, I just wanted to

516
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 2: I don't think you were trying to get a different thing,

517
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 2: like be misleading and get the sleeping around you. See,

518
00:23:59,080 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 2: I'm very mature to me.

519
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, yah, yeah, I just wanted to make clear that

520
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:04,280
Speaker 1: those two things are very separate and you should bring

521
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:05,879
Speaker 1: him up in different contexts.

522
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:10,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe STD on First our advice is just say

523
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 2: have you got an st? Like are you clean? Like

524
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with asking that.

525
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,880
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, hundred percent, he's come fucking first

526
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 1: thing in said on a date, are you fucking clean?

527
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 2: Or what? I want to get out of here? Like

528
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 2: you say you sound so outgoing too, just be like,

529
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 2: I want to have sex off this is you clean

530
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 2: or what? Yeah? Like you guys are a few dates

531
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,120
Speaker 2: in where you could start it with like, Okay, it's

532
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 2: nice tonight, but like are you clean? Yeah?

533
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 1: Because it's funny and I think it's important also to

534
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 1: have these conversations when you're not horny, Like, don't have

535
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:37,919
Speaker 1: it in the lead up because a lot of the

536
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:39,960
Speaker 1: time you might think I'm too horny, I don't care.

537
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 2: True, Yeah, he'll be like I don't have one.

538
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 1: Or he might lie because he wants to have sex.

539
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 1: So have the conversation in a safe environment like a

540
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,120
Speaker 1: restaurant or just driving or something.

541
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:49,919
Speaker 2: It's just Jacket, man, like you clean or what? I

542
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 2: want to have sex? Yeah? I'm yeah, I say. And then

543
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 2: if he doesn't have one, then it's up to him

544
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 2: to be like, you know what, I'm gonna go get

545
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 2: one day because I really like you, but I want

546
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,400
Speaker 2: you to be confident that I'm clean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

547
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 2: Hopefully he has that pretty privilege where like girls are

548
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 2: too scared hitting him too, so he doesn't sleep with

549
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 2: any girls. I think that's what I mean, Jak, I

550
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 2: think that's what jack. I just put his both in

551
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 2: the category. Why do't you have to bring me down?

552
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 2: This is how you We were not in that category.

553
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:24,160
Speaker 2: We were not in that category. Was sprouted was what's

554
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 2: it called? What's it called? When you sprout young? And

555
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,640
Speaker 2: then you go you peaked in, then you dropped out.

556
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 2: I peaked in your ten before I was having sexual girl. Alright, everybody,

557
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 2: you get two dilemmas today, baby, we had two really

558
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 2: good dilemmas and we couldn't pick and Jake's like, fuck it,

559
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 2: let's give them both. And I was like, fuck it,

560
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 2: I'll give them both, So why not give them both?

561
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:54,640
Speaker 2: Give the people what they deserve.

562
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:58,199
Speaker 1: So, hey, guys, love the potty. Sorry in advance for

563
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 1: a long overshare, but that's what dilemma four right.

564
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 2: Whoa whoa, whoa, whoah whoa. I would like to point

565
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,120
Speaker 2: out we have never said that's what the livers before

566
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 2: we said give them That's what I mean. People are

567
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 2: scared of you anyway.

568
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 1: Okay, I could really use some advice right now. I'm

569
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,879
Speaker 1: almost twenty and a female. I've always liked that Reddit

570
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 1: thing just f and I'm gonna know it's female.

571
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm getting so much better at that.

572
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 1: I'm almost twenty female. I've never been in a relationship,

573
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 1: and I'm terrified of it. I've always wanted a boyfriend

574
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 1: and had daydreams of what it would be like to

575
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,919
Speaker 1: be in a relationship, but when it comes to real life,

576
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,119
Speaker 1: I panic. I don't really ever leave the house, and

577
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 1: I don't really do anything due to my heavy UNI

578
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 1: workload and work, and I feel burnt out and have

579
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 1: eighty HD. So I find it really difficult to literally

580
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 1: do even the smallest things. I don't have my shit

581
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 1: together eg. Messy room, mentally scattered, and it makes me

582
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 1: feel insecure. So I feel like it's probably better not

583
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 1: to have a relationship right now. But I'm scared how

584
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 1: I will ever find someone when I've never been in

585
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:03,919
Speaker 1: a relationship. I don't really have any energy talking to guys,

586
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 1: which gives me so much anxiety, and I'm super picky.

587
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 1: I would say I'm pretty different to the majority of

588
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 1: people my age as well, not saying I'm special or whatever,

589
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:16,359
Speaker 1: but my interests like I like farms, baby talk, animals,

590
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 1: I don't really like shopping or any fancy stuff like.

591
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:18,920
Speaker 2: That, etc.

592
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,160
Speaker 1: So I feel like that just because of all these things,

593
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 1: it makes it really hard for me to find someone

594
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,440
Speaker 1: of the same energy as me. I've also never actually

595
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 1: spoken to a guy like I'm not even over exaggerating.

596
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 1: I just get so shy and avoidant. People have tried

597
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: to set me up with people before, and it actually

598
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:39,199
Speaker 1: makes me mad because of how anxious I get. I

599
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 1: feel so different from the other girls. I feel like

600
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 1: something is wrong with me. Do you have any advice?

601
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:54,639
Speaker 2: Wait, so in like a roundabout way she is she

602
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 2: wants to start talking to guys. I think she was spiraling.

603
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 2: She spiraled while typing, Yeah, yeah, typing. She spiraled hard.

604
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 1: And I think we can help this lady out just

605
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 1: because I think it's relatable. She's spirring to another extent,

606
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,400
Speaker 1: but this is a very very relatable dilemma. She's questioning

607
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 1: all these things that's wrong with her is why she

608
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 1: hasn't found a man when I don't think that's the problem.

609
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: I don't think she's really fell in love with herself yet.

610
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 2: That's how I read it. Yeah, I mean admitting to

611
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 2: herself that she's not got her shit together. It's kind

612
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 2: of like, I mean, is she working on getting a

613
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 2: shit together? I guess if she's got to ask herself

614
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 2: for that, I would say, you need to get shit

615
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 2: together before you start looking for boys. Oh yeah, one

616
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 2: hundred percent.

617
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: And I don't think it's as simple as that, because

618
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 1: maybe because she is at UNI, she's going to work,

619
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,320
Speaker 1: she's doing all these things to become better in life.

620
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:54,600
Speaker 1: But the final step of like maybe I think she's,

621
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 1: like I said, you've just got to she doesn't love herself.

622
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 2: How can someone else love you if you don't love yourself. First,

623
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 2: good point, Like, but does she not? Is the reasons?

624
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 2: From what I gather from that, Like I don't know

625
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,959
Speaker 2: if it sounds like she overly dislikes herself. She she

626
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 2: like one thing that she doesn't like about herself is

627
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 2: that she gets really anxious when it comes to talking

628
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 2: to guys. I just don't know how, Like maybe instead

629
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 2: of trying to change that to make it so you

630
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 2: live yourself, just more accepting it. Accept yourself. That's a

631
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 2: good point. Accept that, Like acceptance could be the route

632
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 2: that she needs to take in because like, I don't

633
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 2: think that that's going to change ever, obviously until you're

634
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 2: comfortable with a guy. Well that's when I first read this.

635
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 2: I was like, I know what she needs. What's up?

636
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 1: She needs to find her spark. So every single person

637
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 1: listening right now has a spark. If you're over way,

638
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 1: you've got shited.

639
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 2: Skin, you got a shit job, you think you're dumb,

640
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 2: you got adhd, you got dislegs, yeat something lights the spark.

641
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 1: Now your brain is tricking you and saying like you're

642
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,400
Speaker 1: not good enough, like no one's ever going to love you.

643
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 1: You think of all these things, But every single person

644
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 1: has a spark because it's not about all these exterior things.

645
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 1: It's about what's inside, that little ticker inside of you.

646
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 2: It's important.

647
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 1: And I think all these exterior things, like a messy room,

648
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 1: her personality, she likes the farm, or her brains spiraling

649
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 1: is making her think that her spark isn't good enough

650
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 1: for someone else to love. So I think she's got

651
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: to find that spark within before she looks just love elsewhere,

652
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 1: and like on a date, for example, taking it to

653
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 1: where she gets overly really nervous and whatever.

654
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you're not. You might be.

655
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 1: I might be speaking too much because I don't know you,

656
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: but that's what we do in dilemmas.

657
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

658
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like you're nervous because you're not confident in yourself,

659
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 1: and you're not confident in yourself because you haven't foun

660
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:40,960
Speaker 1: your spark and you haven't been something. You haven't found

661
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 1: something to be proud of yourself about.

662
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, Now I need an example, So let's say, wait, well,

663
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 2: so what's your spark?

664
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 1: My spark It can't be one thing, but my spark

665
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 1: maybe to me is the way I think in a

666
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 1: different way.

667
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, Okay, okay, do you mean could you try

668
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 2: to show insecurities into something? Is that you're trying to do.

669
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 1: No, I'm not trying to I'm trying to say, like

670
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 1: everybody's got something special about.

671
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 2: Them, right, okay, okay, yeah yah yah yeah yeh yeah

672
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 2: yeah sorry confused about that. I'm trying to think what

673
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 2: my spark is because I need I need to feel

674
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 2: the example, I need to feel it. Yeah yeah, yeah,

675
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 2: yeah yeah, I think. Let me give you one second,

676
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 2: I'll think of your spark, think of my spark. What's

677
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 2: my spark? Kindheart need to do anything for anybody? Okay,

678
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 2: I hear you, Thank you very much. I appreciate that,

679
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 2: very appreciable. You just want to be a gas you

680
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,239
Speaker 2: ar didn't you? You fucking knew it? Feel a very

681
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:35,719
Speaker 2: lightly gas right now. So yeah, so she needs to

682
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 2: find her spark.

683
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 1: Because there wasn't in There wasn't one bit of that

684
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 1: dilemma where it was just like and I'm good at running,

685
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:45,760
Speaker 1: or like, oh she didn't talk and yeah, but by

686
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 1: the way, I'm good at gaming.

687
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 2: Maybe she yeah, she didn't feel the need to add

688
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 2: what she's good at, or maybe she doesn't.

689
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 1: Think she's good at ann Yeah, okay, so it's very

690
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 1: very complicated, but taking away what we can fall in

691
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 1: love with yourself more and find the spark that I

692
00:31:59,480 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 1: know you have.

693
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 2: Then yeah, I like that from what I hear from

694
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 2: the dilemma. From what I'm hearing from the dilemma, obviously

695
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 2: you don't get the absolute full picture. But I don't know,

696
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 2: just don't fully sound like you're ready. Yeah, I feel ready,

697
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 2: and it's okay not to be ready. Yeah, and you

698
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 2: may feel ready, but yeah, if you were to say

699
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 2: to yourself, like, I don't know, I think it's not

700
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 2: a it's not a cocky thing to love yourself. No,

701
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 2: but you know I love myself. I don't. I don't

702
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 2: want to like, you know, like be that I there's

703
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 2: a cockiness in loving yourself. I think it's very two

704
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 2: different things completely.

705
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 1: And society for some reason makes you not want a

706
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,880
Speaker 1: voice that you are in love with yourself. Like on

707
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 1: social media, if you do posts and it comes across

708
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 1: that you're really happy about the way you act or something,

709
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 1: people will give you shit. Yes, like it's a weird concept, but.

710
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 2: Like here's a question for the dilemma. Send up. Let's say,

711
00:32:56,800 --> 00:33:01,880
Speaker 2: for some reason, you did find a guy, right, first relationship,

712
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 2: prior to this, you are feeling the way you are

713
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 2: currently feeling. And when you start seeing this guy and

714
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 2: dating this guy, you all of a sudden feel amazing.

715
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 2: You love yourself. Yeah, you're like, well, this feeling is amazing.

716
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 2: I willn't. I never want to lose this. Would you

717
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,600
Speaker 2: want that? Like, would you want the reason that you

718
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 2: love yourself to be because of another person's love for you?

719
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 2: Because then you're going to end up being independent, like

720
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 2: you're going to You're gonna need that. You don't want

721
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 2: to be codependent. Not saying you would be, but it

722
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 2: just sort of leads. So if you've left out that

723
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 2: you love yourself, then then obviously maybe try and let

724
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 2: us know.

725
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: But I think what you said at the end right

726
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: as well, you want that love to come from within

727
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 1: before you find it from elsewhere. Yeah, and get validated

728
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 1: by someone else's love.

729
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, not saying I'm perfect or or you know, are perfect,

730
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 2: but you know, my girlfriend's even said it to me.

731
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 2: By no means are any of us perfect people. But

732
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 2: if we broke up, I would be sad. Yeah, I'll

733
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 2: probably get depressed like you do when your heart broken

734
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:08,400
Speaker 2: but I do know what it's like to be alone,

735
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 2: and I do know that I would be okay. So

736
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, if you think to yourself like yeah,

737
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,640
Speaker 2: just be very happy with yourself. My best advice is

738
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:22,279
Speaker 2: be happy with yourself before you get in a relationship,

739
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 2: like what he was saying. Find the spark, you know,

740
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 2: lean into it. Yeah, find someone loves it. You've got this, okay.

741
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:37,720
Speaker 2: As you guys know, we've been plugging our the Facebook

742
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 2: group a bit and it's been going really good. Great.

743
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:42,799
Speaker 2: We've been getting some great posts in there, good engagement.

744
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 2: And we had a post in there the other day

745
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:49,440
Speaker 2: that I think was I don't know, just I really

746
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 2: liked it. And the post was best breakup tips when

747
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:57,840
Speaker 2: you still love the person and didn't want the breakup,

748
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:02,080
Speaker 2: which is tough, and it's a very tough because clearly

749
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 2: it is. It was a it was a female that

750
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:10,360
Speaker 2: is still in love with her ex boyfriend. There was

751
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 2: a lot of comments, a lot of great advice. So

752
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 2: what we did was we summarized all the comments and

753
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 2: I was going to read them out and see if

754
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:19,840
Speaker 2: Oddie and I agree with them, if we agree with

755
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 2: each other, and if we think these are good advice

756
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:24,920
Speaker 2: for a breakup that you didn't want to happen, and

757
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 2: get some input from you guys. Yeah, okay, come at

758
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:33,239
Speaker 2: number one. The best thing I did was make more

759
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 2: time for friends. Realizing that living life with them or

760
00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:40,320
Speaker 2: alone showed me I didn't need my ex to be happy.

761
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:44,879
Speaker 2: Hang in there, you'll get through it. Love it. Yeah,

762
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 2: that's I mean, brain, you can't disagree with the good

763
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 2: stuff if you're you're just a disagreeable person. If you

764
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,279
Speaker 2: want to disagree with that, that's a very good bit

765
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 2: of advice.

766
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 1: Friendships and hanging out with friends make you see the

767
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 1: light of the other end of the tunnel.

768
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

769
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 2: I would say my biggest thing about going through a

770
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 2: breakup and hanging out with friends was it was just

771
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:10,719
Speaker 2: a very nice moment of like it's almost like a

772
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,839
Speaker 2: distraction just forgetting it for a little while. They make

773
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:19,799
Speaker 2: you laugh, you know. With guys especially, I didn't like

774
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 2: I think some people would be like, oh, okkay, So

775
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:26,239
Speaker 2: in my experience, like guys didn't bring up how's the girl,

776
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 2: how's the breakup going? Now? You know, maybe I've spoke

777
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 2: with the bodie a little bit here and there, but

778
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:33,919
Speaker 2: I think guys kind of know that when a friend

779
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 2: is going through a breakup, our duty is to take

780
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 2: their mind off it, which I quite like. It's funny.

781
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:42,279
Speaker 1: And then also at the first stage is to take

782
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 1: your mind off things. Then it gets there a stage

783
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 1: of dudes where it's just the roast stage. Yeah, and

784
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,319
Speaker 1: it sort of helps the situation too, because they roast you,

785
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 1: even though it might not be truly.

786
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:54,319
Speaker 2: Like why the fuck you don't know, like she's I

787
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 2: can't believe if she was, like they try and help

788
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 2: you out. Yeah, yeah, they cast a little bit down.

789
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:02,760
Speaker 2: Maybe she was ugly, and it's all jokes and stuff

790
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 2: like a couple of if you did that, Jake, Oh

791
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 2: oh yeah, it's fun and it really does help the situations.

792
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 2: Friendship is a big tick for me, I think, Yeah, definitely,

793
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:11,839
Speaker 2: if you've got a nice group of friends.

794
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 1: That's also important when you're in a relationship to make

795
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 1: time for your friends. Do yes, definitely, don't just use

796
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:18,400
Speaker 1: them when you break up.

797
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,919
Speaker 2: No, yeah, yeah, that's not nice, right comment number two,

798
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 2: Remove them from everything. It's okay to be sad it ended,

799
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,400
Speaker 2: but for your own mental health, love them from a

800
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:34,240
Speaker 2: distance and allow yourself to feel the loss. You can't

801
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 2: heal if you keep seeing their life online, seeing them

802
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 2: will only hurt you more more in the imagined future

803
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:45,320
Speaker 2: you had with them. But start familiarizing yourself with life

804
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:49,280
Speaker 2: without them. Replace places you went together with new memories,

805
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 2: either with friends or on your own. Your healing comes

806
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,400
Speaker 2: at its own pace, and one day you'll hear their

807
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 2: name without feeling pain cheering for you. I think that

808
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 2: is fine that I was so poetic. Bro, was that

809
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 2: not the most poetic thing you've ever listened to? And

810
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:08,840
Speaker 2: I think if I had next to get over, I

811
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:10,360
Speaker 2: would have just got over right that. I was just

812
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 2: gonna say, like, yeah, like heartbreak would be nice right now,

813
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,320
Speaker 2: because that made me feel amazing. Not going through a heartbreak.

814
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 2: I know heartbreak would not be nice right now.

815
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:24,840
Speaker 1: It's funny though, because initially you might think or I

816
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:28,319
Speaker 1: won't unfollow them because it's toxic, or yeah, I don't

817
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:31,319
Speaker 1: want to be seen as a bad person, when I

818
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:35,440
Speaker 1: think it's showing that you're putting yourself first and you're

819
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 1: taking the first step to get better, to get over it.

820
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:42,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I agree, I'm a big Everyone goes through

821
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,799
Speaker 2: different ways of getting through something. Not that I want

822
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:49,839
Speaker 2: to forget memories but I need to unfollow someone when

823
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,279
Speaker 2: going through a breakup, and I also needed to leap photos.

824
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 2: I understand people that keep photos because big part of

825
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 2: your life. You don't want to forget the memories, and

826
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,360
Speaker 2: I don't want to forget things, but I just personally

827
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,879
Speaker 2: something that a coping mechanism for myself is to delete everything.

828
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 1: Unlike the songs. That's a hard bit to do. Do

829
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:08,200
Speaker 1: you have a something associated with her in the car?

830
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 2: Have you ever had that? Oh? No? Onred P Yeah no,

831
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 2: I've never deleted songs, but I can listen to them

832
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,440
Speaker 2: now and not feeling when are you going through it?

833
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 2: When you're going through through I unlike them and shit

834
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:20,959
Speaker 2: yeah yeah really yeah no, like if one I'd skip

835
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:24,000
Speaker 2: them if they came on. Yeah, yeah no, that's so funny.

836
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:25,319
Speaker 2: I'm on here. Funny side note.

837
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,279
Speaker 1: I kept this photo for so long for the I

838
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 1: don't have it now, but ages ago of the person

839
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 1: I used to be talking to. For one reason, it

840
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 1: was a mirror selfie of myself, and I wanted it

841
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 1: because I was shredded.

842
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 2: And I wanted a prick almost pricking them came out

843
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 2: of your mouth.

844
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:50,239
Speaker 3: That's crazy, wasn't any particular reason, like I think her

845
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:51,839
Speaker 3: face was in the FaceTime, in the corner or something.

846
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 2: I was like, I only ever kept it because of me,

847
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 2: and that I almost got. I was like, forgot she

848
00:39:56,080 --> 00:40:02,320
Speaker 2: was out. It's one of that for myself. That's fucking read. Okay,

849
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:06,920
Speaker 2: next one, go through it fully and allow yourself to

850
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 2: feel everything. Don't suppress any negative emotions, find someone you

851
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 2: trust to talk to, block or restrict your ex and

852
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 2: remember that this feeling won't last forever. You will be

853
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 2: happy again. Healing isn't linear, but take it as a

854
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,400
Speaker 2: sign that bigger and better things are coming. Celebrate the

855
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:28,399
Speaker 2: small wins along the way. I think this is sorry.

856
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,759
Speaker 2: I want to go first. I didn't write this, but

857
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:36,719
Speaker 2: I wish I was. I wish my vocabulary would allow

858
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:38,839
Speaker 2: me to write things like this because I would never

859
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 2: use the word linear in my life neither. But I

860
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 2: fucking agree two steps forward once they're bad. Yeah, because

861
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:49,320
Speaker 2: I remember I definitely definitely have said this on the

862
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 2: podcast before. I know it. When going through a breakup

863
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:53,759
Speaker 2: like it's going to take a long time, you know,

864
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 2: you gotta let you hear pro But celebrating the small

865
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 2: wins along the way, I think My biggest thing is like,

866
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 2: you know, you think about them non fucking stop while

867
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 2: your heart broken, and then you think, like you get

868
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:07,160
Speaker 2: till midday one day and you think, oh should I haven't

869
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,239
Speaker 2: thought about him all morning? But then you are now

870
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 2: thinking about them for the rest of the day. But

871
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 2: I think, celebrate the small wind of not thinking about

872
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 2: them all that morning. You've got that half day in

873
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 2: fucking I think turns into two days, turns into three, four,

874
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 2: five months. Yeah, how bad. He's gives some good advice

875
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,880
Speaker 2: that fuck yeah, next one, you'll have to sit with

876
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 2: your feelings, even if it's tough. There's no shortcut to

877
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 2: getting over this. When I went through it, I blocked

878
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:33,320
Speaker 2: him everywhere and avoided places he might be. It's hard,

879
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:36,160
Speaker 2: but you'll come out stronger on the other side. Wishing

880
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 2: you all the best.

881
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,440
Speaker 1: I agree to a certain extent, I wouldn't avoid places.

882
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 1: I would just did the star that says you deal

883
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:45,400
Speaker 1: with the emotions all.

884
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 2: You'll have to sit with your feelings. That's a good

885
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 2: bit of it. Yeah, even if it's tough, good bit

886
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 2: of advice. There's no shortcuts to getting over this. Good

887
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:57,800
Speaker 2: bit of advice. When I went through it, I blocked

888
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:01,799
Speaker 2: him everywhere and avoided places he be. Not sure how

889
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,760
Speaker 2: I feel about that one. To me, avoiding places where

890
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:07,959
Speaker 2: he might be sounds like you don't want to deal

891
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 2: with your emotions when you see him. Yeah. I don't know, though,

892
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:16,239
Speaker 2: Like I one hundred percent relate to not wanting to

893
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 2: see my ex. No.

894
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm not gonna not go to the beach

895
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:21,399
Speaker 1: because that's the beach you used to.

896
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 2: Go to, because if I want to go to the beach, yeah, true,

897
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:27,399
Speaker 2: Like I'm trying to think because obviously, like some people

898
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 2: would have like idlete photos where some people would be like,

899
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:30,880
Speaker 2: that's not a very good way to cope, but it's

900
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:32,440
Speaker 2: a way I cope. So I can't say that the

901
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 2: way this person coached is a bad way.

902
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:37,319
Speaker 1: I think those feelings associated with photos and like live it,

903
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: going about your life as you should.

904
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 2: You should just do it. I see the side to

905
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 2: both sides of the story. Yeah, I don't think the

906
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:46,400
Speaker 2: block I block if you want to block, but no,

907
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 2: I think I'm following is definitely enough. I have enough

908
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 2: willpower where I never searched them up to see what

909
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 2: they would have were up to. No.

910
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 1: Well, also learning though, like I'm not saying that's wrong.

911
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 1: Everyone is gonna get over breakup in their own way.

912
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, and yeah, the person that sent the posts in

913
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 2: the crib chat, so the Facebook page is probably gonna

914
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:06,719
Speaker 2: like come out of this with their own bit of

915
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 2: advice for something. Yeah exactly. Yeah. I will say. There

916
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 2: was some replies to these comments about how like she

917
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 2: actually they broke up, she was heartbroken, he came back

918
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:17,800
Speaker 2: actually accepted, So hopefully she's gonna take some of this advice.

919
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:20,839
Speaker 1: I'm hoping I want some bad advice so I can

920
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 1: like say, like, no, agrieve someone, we.

921
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:27,799
Speaker 2: Don't get bad. Yeah. Journal everything you'd want to tell them,

922
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:32,520
Speaker 2: even the small everyday things you'd normally share, and pretend

923
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:36,359
Speaker 2: you're telling it to them as you write. That's help me.

924
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,799
Speaker 2: That's healthy because you want to you know, you go

925
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 2: from having a best friend and lose them.

926
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:44,880
Speaker 1: I also, my thoughts come out better of writing than

927
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 1: they do when I talk. Yeah right, So like if

928
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 1: I sit down and write something, I can easily articulate

929
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:51,879
Speaker 1: my thoughts and feelings way more than I can by

930
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:52,800
Speaker 1: just having a conversation.

931
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 2: Journ all the things you would want to say to them.

932
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 1: Fucking hell, I think it makes you deal with the

933
00:43:57,239 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 1: emotions right there and then too Okay, you.

934
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 2: Dick was small. I don't at home. Man, don't you

935
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 2: think that that? Maybe I feel like that fast had

936
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,360
Speaker 2: a way to attached. I feel like that fast tracks

937
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 2: the morning process. You reckon. I think it does for me,

938
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 2: it would. That's a good tip I might take. Okay,

939
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:17,279
Speaker 2: it doesn't have to work for you. No, no, it

940
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:19,920
Speaker 2: definitely doesn't have to work for me. I'm trying to think.

941
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:24,360
Speaker 2: You're not the articulate type. Definitely not not the type.

942
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 2: I'm not touch a journal to be completely honest with you,

943
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,160
Speaker 2: But you're the type of guy like I'll deal with

944
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:32,960
Speaker 2: it when I feel sad. Yeah yeah, yeah, no, I

945
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 2: mean I will say I'm the type of guy that

946
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:37,879
Speaker 2: lets it build up to like cry. I usually feel

947
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:42,960
Speaker 2: better after a cry. Yeah, everyone does. Yeah, there's one.

948
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:44,920
Speaker 1: Two last time for any dudes listening to is like

949
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:48,320
Speaker 1: it's okay to cry, Yeah, like for something. I remember

950
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:50,000
Speaker 1: when I've cried about a girl before and I felt

951
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 1: like I.

952
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:52,400
Speaker 2: Shouldn't be doing this. I'm a man, Yeah, I'm like, no,

953
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 2: fuck off, Like, yeah, my body's told me to cry

954
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 2: for a reason. Yeah, yeah, I cried just eating breakfast

955
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 2: one morning like them a couple of years ago. I cried.

956
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:06,480
Speaker 2: I remember, I remember, Yeah, I think I think it

957
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,240
Speaker 2: was like a heartbreak, but also that something else that happened,

958
00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:11,920
Speaker 2: something else in my life, which could add to the heartbreak.

959
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 2: I don't know, but yeah, I remember even brecky and crying.

960
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 2: And then when I was done crying, I was like, huh,

961
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:24,359
Speaker 2: it was weird. It was weird that I just like,

962
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 2: randomly uncontrollably crying, like went from being completely normal to

963
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:31,400
Speaker 2: randomly uncontrollably crying, and then just finishing my breakfast and

964
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,120
Speaker 2: being sweet. I was like, that was the weirdest experience

965
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:34,440
Speaker 2: I think I've ever experienced. My I was like, what's

966
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 2: going on? Hasn't happened since? Yeah, probably won't happen again,

967
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:38,840
Speaker 2: But your buddy took over here. Yeah, I've got to

968
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:40,919
Speaker 2: deal with these emotions near us. They're never getting double clear,

969
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 2: Like clearly it came out. It was weird. I got

970
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:49,120
Speaker 2: one more. Do not, and I repeat, do not text

971
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 2: or call them. It may feel necessary now, but you'll

972
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 2: likely regret it later. Let them wonder, because if they

973
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:59,800
Speaker 2: could watch you in pain and walk away without trying,

974
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 2: they never deserved you. And remember, the person who broke

975
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 2: you cannot be the one to restore you. Mike drop Oh,

976
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:16,520
Speaker 2: that was correct. One who broke you cannot be the

977
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 2: one to restore you.

978
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:20,399
Speaker 1: And I think we always try to put a band

979
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 1: aid over it with our X and go sex with

980
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:23,480
Speaker 1: one more time.

981
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:27,480
Speaker 2: Or do something. Yeah, fine, you're like this sex will

982
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 2: help me get over them. Shut the funk up, you idiots.

983
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:35,600
Speaker 1: Honestly, that is so good and so relatable after you

984
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 1: break up, though, I think it's any better sex than

985
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 1: after you break up.

986
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:42,360
Speaker 2: All this because you also know you shouldn't be doing it.

987
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:46,360
Speaker 2: It's naughty, it's taboo. We're not meant to be advocates

988
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:51,280
Speaker 2: for this bait. I'm saying it's bad, but it's you're allowed.

989
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 2: It's still you're allowed to think, like from once a

990
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 2: little bit of naughtys. Yeah, here's a thing. This is

991
00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:04,719
Speaker 2: a This is an advocating bad behavior. But do you

992
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:08,799
Speaker 2: think I'm not even gonna mention it. It's gonna say something

993
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 2: about cheating. But I can't promote cheating. You can't. I

994
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 2: can't make cheating sound good, not that I've ever done it,

995
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:15,399
Speaker 2: but I can't make it sound good. No, not at all,

996
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,399
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say what I wanted to say,

997
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 2: and what.

998
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 1: I was going to say was I think that's really

999
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 1: relatable and good to hear if anyone obviously going through

1000
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:26,600
Speaker 1: a breakup, but also anyone who's been through a breakup

1001
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:28,960
Speaker 1: and gone through it and he's on the other side

1002
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:33,360
Speaker 1: and realizing that you should be proud of dealing with

1003
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:36,880
Speaker 1: all your emotions and like, oh sick, I did that.

1004
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:38,680
Speaker 2: Like I should be proud of myself. Like I used

1005
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:40,680
Speaker 2: to be like butt hed over that now like couldn't

1006
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:43,680
Speaker 2: care less? Yeah, like I healed, Like be pretty yourself.

1007
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:48,960
Speaker 2: I agree. Lessons from this episode learn to love yourself. Yeah,

1008
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:52,759
Speaker 2: and don't message him? Yeah? Do you not message her

1009
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:57,960
Speaker 2: or her? Yeah? Don't message them? Yeah, we're inclusive. Yeah,

1010
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:02,799
Speaker 2: don't message them. Apparently, this one's good. I remember. We

1011
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,239
Speaker 2: love you guys, Thank you for listening. We're gonna end

1012
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 2: it with another page from our favorite book of how

1013
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:13,040
Speaker 2: to Piss man off. Okay. Quote, say to a man,

1014
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:17,240
Speaker 2: I love your cosplay. Say this to a man wearing

1015
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 2: a jersey. When he says it's not cosplay, respond by saying,

1016
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:26,400
Speaker 2: well kind of is. You're not really a basketball player?

1017
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:34,279
Speaker 2: That is so good, that the man off. That is

1018
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:39,759
Speaker 2: good your cosplay, and they're gonna be like, what this

1019
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 2: isn't yeah, and then they're gonna be like and then

1020
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 2: you'd be like, well, I mean you're not actually a

1021
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 2: professional basketball kind of so good? What let's gold? Hey,

1022
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:58,840
Speaker 2: thanks for listening, guys, don't forget Patreon five stars on Spotify,

1023
00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 2: Facebook group letters, why did you not Love you? Love

1024
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 2: you Bye,