Speaker 1: Ization or explanation of why I'm not prepared to move ahead.
Speaker 1: So the question would be, well, what makes you think
Speaker 1: that anything I have.
Speaker 2: To say.
Speaker 1: Would be more useful than the conclusions you would arrive
Speaker 1: at on your own, knowing yourself better than anyone else
Speaker 1: could possibly know you.
Speaker 3: I think someone would look at you and go, what
Speaker 3: the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 2: I just asked what I should do?
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Like to me, just I
Speaker 3: just asked, mate, Yeah, that seems unnecessarily high level, complicated. Yes,
Speaker 3: I'm like to me, it does. It's like, bro, I
Speaker 3: want to know what fuck? Uh? You know, like my
Speaker 3: shoulder hurts when I do this movement for chest? Have
Speaker 3: you got any other ideas? You've trained your whole life.
Speaker 3: You're a qualified trainer, you know, you've worked in gyms.
Speaker 3: You know, like, surely then you could go, well, what
Speaker 3: don't you try instead of overhand grip, try a neutral
Speaker 3: grip with dumbbells instead of a straight bar, or something
Speaker 3: where it's like, oh, that's a specific answer to a
Speaker 3: specific question.
Speaker 2: You're talking about.
Speaker 1: Say, when I think about advice, I'm thinking about I'm
Speaker 1: in this situation. What would you do and guide me
Speaker 1: and I will take action based on what you would
Speaker 1: do in my situation someone in the gym. That's kind
Speaker 1: of like technical observation, analysis, application, assessment of how that worked,
Speaker 1: and modification of what do we do next?
Speaker 3: No, because I feel like I need some help. Give
Speaker 3: me some I need help. I got a question. Give
Speaker 3: me some advice. Try this. That's advice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so okay, So let's let's break this down. Are
Speaker 1: you giving technical information and disseminating knowledge or expertise, or
Speaker 1: you're saying, Okay, here's my life experience.
Speaker 2: I've been in your situation, with.
Speaker 1: This relationship, with this life transition, this career progression, here's
Speaker 1: what I would do. And I've asked that question a
Speaker 1: few times. Why is my insight greater than the conclusions
Speaker 1: that you would come to on your own. And it's
Speaker 1: a big question, but I don't think it's an unnecessary one.
Speaker 2: I think it's a powerful one.
Speaker 3: On confident, I reckon it's powerful. But it's perhaps situation dependent,
Speaker 3: like many many, many things. Do you think that sometimes
Speaker 3: when people I'm not agreeing or disagreeing, by the way,
Speaker 3: I'm just fleshing it out, which I think is this
Speaker 3: is my point. I've been thinking about advice and how
Speaker 3: and when I know that sometimes no advice is the
Speaker 3: best advice. And I'll talk about an example in a minute.
Speaker 3: I feel like sometimes when people say, hey, I want
Speaker 3: some advice around this, what they actually want is reinforcement,
Speaker 3: you know, more support for their current idea. They really
Speaker 3: want you to go, yeah.
Speaker 2: This is what I'm planning on doing.
Speaker 1: Tell me why I'm correct in my thinking, and that
Speaker 1: eyes this advice, and that is not a request for advice.
Speaker 1: So that's nonetheless my reluctance comes from.
Speaker 3: But it's framed as a question for advice.
Speaker 2: Right, so you can answer it.
Speaker 1: You could give a simple answer like I would do this,
Speaker 1: so Craig, now that I've told you what to do,
Speaker 1: what's going to be different about your situation moving forward?
Speaker 1: What's changed from now versus sixty seconds ago. That's kind
Speaker 1: of a good question too. None of these questions are easy,
Speaker 1: and they might be irritating because they are quite confronting.
Speaker 1: But if you're coming to me for advice or something
Speaker 1: you're wanting, and I'm not sure that what you're wanting
Speaker 1: is my opinion, what.
Speaker 3: About yeah, or it's U Scott right, what about Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm coming to you for advice, And then can you
Speaker 3: say to me, perhaps, do you really want my advice
Speaker 3: or do you want me to endorse or reinforce or
Speaker 3: support what you already plan to do? Be honest, because
Speaker 3: what I have to tell you might not be what
Speaker 3: you want to hear. Like if all you want is
Speaker 3: a fan club or a support team, that's not me
Speaker 3: giving you advice, or that's not me giving that's not
Speaker 3: me coaching you. Well, if I'm just your support crew
Speaker 3: and cheersquad, and no matter what you're going to do,
Speaker 3: I just go well done, well, I'm no value to you,
Speaker 3: you know. And I feel like sometimes when people ask
Speaker 3: me for advice, I give them advice or I give
Speaker 3: them information or support or guidance that they actually don't want.
Speaker 3: And it's I see this fucking look of disappointment. And
Speaker 3: I've said to audience as many times, I can tell
Speaker 3: you what you want to hear, or I can tell
Speaker 3: you what I believe based on lots of encounters and
Speaker 3: conversations and experiences and research and knowledge, and I can
Speaker 3: tell you what I believe to be a better path, right,
Speaker 3: which is not I'm telling you what to do. But
Speaker 3: then because I think that we think we're really open
Speaker 3: minded about feedback. It's like we like feedback until we
Speaker 3: get the feedback or advice that we don't like.
Speaker 2: Well, I think that's a great question. What are you
Speaker 2: really wanting in this situation?
Speaker 1: And if it's like, well, I just truly don't know
Speaker 1: what to do right, like with the old bad Press,
Speaker 1: I'm not a biomechanist, right you are, so help me?
Speaker 2: Great?
Speaker 1: That is an appropriate situation to put your expert hat
Speaker 1: on and disseminate insights versus well, I really think this
Speaker 1: is the right thing to do, and I want to
Speaker 1: know what you think, meaning I want to know if
Speaker 1: you think that I'm right in thinking this is the
Speaker 1: right thing to do. So, I feel like advice can
Speaker 1: be useful, but you got to be careful because of
Speaker 1: overstep autonomy. It's you're probably not helping as much as
Speaker 1: you think you might be. Like that guy in that conversation,
Speaker 1: if he's giving advice and it's obvious to you that
Speaker 1: someone that he has a relationship with is completely disinterested.
Speaker 1: What I wonder is, who's that conversation about? Is it
Speaker 1: about the advice receiver or the advice giver in that
Speaker 1: moment and it sounds to me like it's more about
Speaker 1: the giver of advice rather than the recipient, because otherwise
Speaker 1: you might want to be more tuned in to how
Speaker 1: that's landing or not landing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's perfect I think also, like for me,
Speaker 3: one of my fuck ups around advice has been giving
Speaker 3: advice to people. My biggest fuck up in this space, honestly,
Speaker 3: being brutally honest with me self reflecting is with my
Speaker 3: mom and dad. And I started, I recognized started it
Speaker 3: twenty giving my mum advice about her smoking habit, right,
Speaker 3: advice that she didn't fucking want, conversations that she didn't want, right, Mary,
Speaker 3: the fucking chain smoker, and that didn't work out. Well,
Speaker 3: she's got one lung now. But anyway, I don't want
Speaker 3: to say I told you so, Mum, but fuck mum,
Speaker 3: you know. And then all I did when I would
Speaker 3: give Mom some I would give her feedback, or I
Speaker 3: would give her advice, or I would give her whatever
Speaker 3: that she didn't want. But my excuse was, but I
Speaker 3: love you, I want you to live a long, healthy life.
Speaker 3: My reasons are good. Therefore, fucking sit down and listen, right,
Speaker 3: And all I did was create more of a problem personally, interpersonally, sociologically,
Speaker 3: you know, communication I created more of a problem than
Speaker 3: any solution, despite the fact that the knowledge was good,
Speaker 3: the science was good, the intentions were good. Yeah, So
Speaker 3: that I see that a lot in families where people
Speaker 3: are like, I'm just trying to help. That's great, but
Speaker 3: you're not helping, Like, I know what you're intending to do,
Speaker 3: well done, that's nice. Guess what, it's not fucking working.
Speaker 3: It's ineffective. So hit the brakes and just find a
Speaker 3: bit of space and self awareness and say, is the
Speaker 3: thing that you're constantly trying to shove down that person's
Speaker 3: face isn't helping. It might be right, you might be right.
Speaker 3: You might be this might be your version of love.
Speaker 3: But guess what it isn't for them.
Speaker 1: So that's an equally important question, not just with the asker,
Speaker 1: what are you truly wanting? What's your intention?
Speaker 2: In the question?
Speaker 1: To the advice giver, what is your intention in giving advice?
Speaker 1: You're got to know what your motivation is because sometimes
Speaker 1: we want change for people more than they want it
Speaker 1: for themselves, are more than they're ready to face. What
Speaker 1: the cons difrinstance of change? My or maybe it's okay,
Speaker 1: Maybe they are in pre contemplation, which means I won't change.
Speaker 2: I don't think I have a problem.
Speaker 1: You have a problem, or I believe everything you're saying
Speaker 1: is true, but for a million reasons connected to my habit,
Speaker 1: my behavior problem. It's not that I won't change. I
Speaker 1: believe I cannot. And the more you push, the more
Speaker 1: you keep them stuck in that phase. You are not helping.
Speaker 1: When you are doing that, people do not change because
Speaker 1: of your sheer force of will and desire for them
Speaker 1: to be something or do something different than what they're
Speaker 1: doing or who they're being in the moment. And that
Speaker 1: is something that I think really gets in the way
Speaker 1: of communication dynamics in every facet of our lives and work.
Speaker 3: There's someone right now listening to there's someone right now
Speaker 3: listening to this, thinking, yeah, that's great, But my son's
Speaker 3: an addict, Well, my daughter's an addict, and I'm watching
Speaker 3: them fucking kill themselves and I'm distraught, They're distraught, the
Speaker 3: family's broken. What should I do? Just sit back as
Speaker 3: a passenger?
Speaker 1: Oh fuck now, no, fucking hold on, we're talking about now,
Speaker 1: we're crossing into It is.
Speaker 2: Like imminent danger.
Speaker 1: It is urgent and emergent is what we're referring to
Speaker 1: at this moment.
Speaker 3: I like that urgent and emergent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, good toddler's If your toddler is crossing a busy street,
Speaker 1: it's like, wow, I don't want to rob them of
Speaker 1: their autonomy. Get out of the street or run into
Speaker 1: the street and grab that fucking kid and pull them
Speaker 1: onto the pavement. Talk about it, like, talk about it later,
Speaker 1: but get them out of the street. So, if you're
Speaker 1: dealing with someone who is doing serious damage to themselves
Speaker 1: and the consequences are not going to happen ten years
Speaker 1: down the road as a result of whatever that bad
Speaker 1: habit is, whether it's cigarettes or alcohol, or whether it's Canoli's.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I say Canolis. But how good
Speaker 1: Canoli though?
Speaker 2: Now? And all these are amazing?
Speaker 3: Yeah, come on now, I want to fucking Cannoli. Yeah,
Speaker 3: they should get a Nobel Prize for food.
Speaker 2: No, it's sinister.
Speaker 1: It's fuck it's a sinister How do you creat something
Speaker 1: that's so good but so bad? Anyway, So, if you're
Speaker 1: dealing with someone and the extreme consequences are imminent, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think now's not the time to respect their autonomy
Speaker 1: and to reflect.
Speaker 2: And to go through exploration.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a very strong kind of rule about
Speaker 3: not giving advice to anyone around exercise who hasn't asked
Speaker 3: me for it. However, there's been a couple of times
Speaker 3: I've told this a couple of times, maybe so those
Speaker 3: who've heard it, I apologize. But twenty one hundred episodes,
Speaker 3: give me a break. I was in a gym in Sydney.
Speaker 3: I was doing a gig and I went into the
Speaker 3: or they had a relationship with a chain of gym's feud.
Speaker 3: Doors up from the hotel, walked up to the gym.
Speaker 3: I was doing a workout. There was a lady doing
Speaker 3: something in there that it wasn't whether or not she
Speaker 3: was going to hurt herself, it was just when, like
Speaker 3: with the thing that she was doing the way that
Speaker 3: she was doing it, she was definitely going to hurt herself,
Speaker 3: like a zero doubt in my mind. And I'm thinking
Speaker 3: she didn't know me. I don't know her. I could
Speaker 3: be some fucking widow, which I probably am. But like
Speaker 3: you can't go, hey, guess what, I'm this and I
Speaker 3: know that, and you can't do that because you also
Speaker 3: look like a dickhead. I never would anyway, but anyway,
Speaker 3: I just went up. I said, I go, this is
Speaker 3: going to sound weird, but could I just give you
Speaker 3: a little bit of advice? And she goes no, and
Speaker 3: I go, Roger that, and I walked away and I
Speaker 3: just went, yeah, why do I do that? It's like,
Speaker 3: but you know, when you see someone like she wasn't
Speaker 3: going to get run over like the kid on the
Speaker 3: road analogy, but for sure she was going to injure herself.
Speaker 3: And I knew how she could avoid that. But you know,
Speaker 3: one stranger come up to another stranger in the gym.
Speaker 3: She's probably been training for five years, I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so it's I find that juxtaposition that fucking oh well,
Speaker 3: because I don't want to stand by and watch people
Speaker 3: hurt themselves or let them hurt themselves. But I think sometimes,
Speaker 3: you know, okay, so she fucks up her shoulder, all right, Well,
Speaker 3: is it my job to intervene? Probably not. But that's
Speaker 3: just one of those almost those ethical or moral or
Speaker 3: fucking empathetic kind of conundrums that I get myself in.
Speaker 2: And we would teach that in the gym. Chance, so.
Speaker 1: One of the most widely requested all day trainings that
Speaker 1: we ever did or I ever did. This has gone
Speaker 1: back to my ANSM dees was can you come into
Speaker 1: the gym and teach trainers how to build a business
Speaker 1: a clientele off the floor and we would teach step
Speaker 1: by step how to gain trust, build rapport, not violate autonomy,
Speaker 1: how to ask questions and that question is not necessarily
Speaker 1: Hey can I give you some advice? Do you might
Speaker 1: if I make a suggestion or this was a brilliant
Speaker 1: one that I always got caught up with when I
Speaker 1: was a trainer.
Speaker 2: Is there anything I could do to help you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm kind of could you get me a water
Speaker 1: at the ft?
Speaker 2: Oh? Sure, yeah, I'll take care of that.
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Really what I was getting at off? Yeah or fuck off? Yeah? So,
Speaker 2: and we structured a layered.
Speaker 1: Process to get to the point where you draw requests
Speaker 1: from the person rather than giving them advice in the moment. Yes,
Speaker 1: so we would do things like that. But when one
Speaker 1: of the caveats was if you see someone and this
Speaker 1: goes back to urgent and emergent, who is doing something
Speaker 1: where you're pretty sure that you have a good idea
Speaker 1: they're going to dislocate both their shoulders, rip both their
Speaker 1: arms off, and be spinning around as these two armless
Speaker 1: stumps are spring blood all over the walls in circular patterns?
Speaker 3: Could you be less traumatic?
Speaker 2: Going? Now?
Speaker 1: That happened to A guy wants now anyway, Well, I
Speaker 1: did see something. I mean, god, you've seen some horrible
Speaker 1: shit in the gym.
Speaker 3: I've seen some horm I've also had my training partner
Speaker 3: to die in front of me, So it doesn't get
Speaker 3: much worse than that.
Speaker 1: That is that that is pretty serious. I've seen double
Speaker 1: shoulder dislocations and someone screw eaming. If you think that's
Speaker 1: about to happen, like fuck it, approach that person and
Speaker 1: be pretty and be pretty assertive about it. But if
Speaker 1: you don't think it's going to happen, then and it's
Speaker 1: something that might be a problem a few months down
Speaker 1: the line. Put a few steps in between, I don't
Speaker 1: know who you are and I don't care and oh
Speaker 1: here's my best thinking, because that usually doesn't go over well.
Speaker 1: So you really have to think, am I being right?
Speaker 1: Or am I being effective?
Speaker 3: Is?
Speaker 1: Like it's kind of like you said, with the gym,
Speaker 1: It's not like somebody is like John is out of shape,
Speaker 1: and I don't say something to make John join the
Speaker 1: gym on Thursday, He's probably going to be dead by Tuesday.
Speaker 1: And that's on me. That's probably not the situation you're
Speaker 1: dealing with.
Speaker 3: Yeah, probably probably what about I think almost in a
Speaker 3: kind of starting with a bit of a theory of
Speaker 3: mind kind of vibe of understanding the person. You know,
Speaker 3: when you have little or no insight into you know,
Speaker 3: you see you see the tip of the iceberg with
Speaker 3: the problem, but you don't see the iceberg, right, So
Speaker 3: you don't have any insight into the totality of their
Speaker 3: story or issue or background or mindset or physiology or
Speaker 3: worldview or personality or their own personal reality. So you're
Speaker 3: seeing point zero one percent of the issue thinking that's
Speaker 3: all the issue, and then you're launching from there like
Speaker 3: you're like, hey, I know, wow, this is you know,
Speaker 3: And then again, as to earlier, it might be perfect
Speaker 3: for me, it might be catastrophic for them because you
Speaker 3: actually you don't know the story, you don't know the problem,
Speaker 3: you don't know the totality of it nearly, but you
Speaker 3: operate on the assumption that you think you get it,
Speaker 3: and so you're you're going to be valuable to them.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about this comprehensive book right here on my
Speaker 1: bookshelf that the gargoyle is sitting on.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the orange book. What is that orange book called?
Speaker 2: It is Behaved by Robert Soopolski.
Speaker 1: And you might be looking at someone who you care about,
Speaker 1: and when week, it's hard to disassociate from someone we
Speaker 1: care about, we want the best for, and we definitely
Speaker 1: don't want pain and suffering for.
Speaker 2: So this is a hard situation.
Speaker 1: And I'm assuming that most people who give unsolicited advice
Speaker 1: are coming from a caring place. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: I used to be in the health and fitness industry.
Speaker 1: We know a lot of these people who seemed very
Speaker 1: intense from the stage I'm thinking about someone right now,
Speaker 1: But when you talk to them, they feel because they
Speaker 1: know so much, they're able to see more, They have
Speaker 1: more distinctions, and it's urgent for them because they see
Speaker 1: dangers in front of people in ways that that individual
Speaker 1: and people around them might not even see. So I get,
Speaker 1: but you see somebody doing something two minutes ago that
Speaker 1: you don't agree with, or on a Saturday night you
Speaker 1: don't think they should be doing, or there's something they're
Speaker 1: not doing that you think they should be doing. But
Speaker 1: what you don't see is what led up to that.
Speaker 1: What happened three milliseconds in their brain before they engaged
Speaker 1: in that. Now, what happened three minutes before in their brain?
Speaker 1: What happened three weeks, three months, three years, three decades
Speaker 1: in their brain living every moment, every minute of their
Speaker 1: life as them with a myriad incalculable influences and reference
Speaker 1: points shaping that person up to that point when they
Speaker 1: did that. Bless you, and you understand that's because Craig
Speaker 1: just Niez.
Speaker 3: For those of you who are just I turned off
Speaker 3: my audio, thank you.
Speaker 1: So, and understand that you have the same dynamic complexity
Speaker 1: in your brain, but it's led you to very different places.
Speaker 2: I think that is.
Speaker 1: A very important thing to understand about how complex human
Speaker 1: behavior is. And sometimes you can't put in what you
Speaker 1: think was laughed out, but you could draw out what
Speaker 1: is inside.
Speaker 2: And yeah, you know.
Speaker 3: But I think that whether or not they've asked for it,
Speaker 3: I'm just writing notes, which is terrible on air, but
Speaker 3: I just thought of a title for the show. I
Speaker 3: just think that that is a high risk activity, whether
Speaker 3: or not you know them or not. You know, even
Speaker 3: when people have come to you so it is solicited
Speaker 3: a device, there's that still. I you know, if somebody
Speaker 3: comes to me just for a chat, you know they
Speaker 3: want to be coached, and obviously they want some kind
Speaker 3: of what we might call advice or direction or input
Speaker 3: or feedback or whatever guidance. I kind of will generally
Speaker 3: talk at the most maybe twenty percent of the time,
Speaker 3: because I just I want to understand them. I want
Speaker 3: to understand, like, what is going on with you physically, emotionally,
Speaker 3: mentally as best I can in that very limited timeframe,
Speaker 3: so that I'm speaking from an informed place, informed in
Speaker 3: regards to who you are, how you are, why you
Speaker 3: are the way you are, because I don't want to be.
Speaker 3: You know, that guy that's talking to what he thinks
Speaker 3: is just another version of him. And I think also
Speaker 3: what is interesting, I was just thinking a moment as
Speaker 3: you were talking moment ago, people who have a bit
Speaker 3: of a personal revelation and kind of catharsis and reinvention,
Speaker 3: then all of a sudden, they're fucking evangelists that nobody
Speaker 3: wants to hear. It's like, mate, you know what you
Speaker 3: need to do?
Speaker 4: I'm doing this and this has done that and it's
Speaker 4: changed my life, and so you need to do that
Speaker 4: because it all.
Speaker 3: Like, bro settle the fuck down. One of your energy
Speaker 3: is obnoxious. May be good intentions, well done, but read
Speaker 3: the room, Champ like read the room. And in doing
Speaker 3: that sometimes I've got many friends who are zealots about
Speaker 3: our thing, our thing, and I won't mention the things
Speaker 3: because I'll get someone's nose out of joint. I'm like, cool,
Speaker 3: that may or may not be true. I know it
Speaker 3: seems to be very true to you and for you,
Speaker 3: and you could be right and I could be wrong,
Speaker 3: but right now, just could you not assault me with
Speaker 3: all this? Could you just also didn't ask? You know,
Speaker 3: but you need to know though, No, no, you are
Speaker 3: creating this not connection.
Speaker 2: Are you talking about when I got a cat?
Speaker 3: That's fucking hell, you're onto me. That's exactly what I'm talking.
Speaker 2: About, you know, just that.
Speaker 3: I mean people understandably, people get excited and you know,
Speaker 3: you know, evangelical, and I will I'm going to really
Speaker 3: throw myself under the bus now when I when I
Speaker 3: got churchy when I was younger, because I grew up
Speaker 3: in church. But it's kind of like being a Catholic
Speaker 3: is just kind of going to a room once a
Speaker 3: week with a bunch of other board people listening to
Speaker 3: you know, well, that was my experience. A bunch of
Speaker 3: board people listening to a boring bike. Right, then, that
Speaker 3: was it, right say stuff that he said essentially last
Speaker 3: week and the week before. But then when I went
Speaker 3: down this other path, I'm like, oh my god, I've
Speaker 3: discovered the thing that everyone needs.
Speaker 4: Everyone needs to know. Doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what
Speaker 4: they want. They're going to know this thing that I know.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, oh, I look back, and I go
Speaker 4: I was such a dumbass. I was so unaware.
Speaker 3: I was fucking cute and innocent and had great intentions.
Speaker 3: But I must have fucked up. So I fucked up
Speaker 3: way more than I got right, you know. But I
Speaker 3: truly believed that I was doing the right thing. But
Speaker 3: I totally wasn't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like when I was in eighth grade, I was
Speaker 1: fourteen and I got involved with Nietron Daishon and Sokia
Speaker 1: got gay Buddhism in South Brooklyn.
Speaker 3: Dude, that seems like a weird place to get into
Speaker 3: all of that BuddhismA. I can't remember any of that ship.
Speaker 3: You said, let's just go with Buddhism. Is that a
Speaker 3: different kind of Buddhism too.
Speaker 1: Well, there's so many sacks of Buddhism. That was the
Speaker 1: Buddhism I was in, and there was a very specific
Speaker 1: chant and there was there were very specific things that
Speaker 1: I would do, like take a very specific path home
Speaker 1: or else I would get beat up severely because did
Speaker 1: you say class home or we said num numb your
Speaker 1: hold on gay kio?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 2: Wow? Do you want to know what that whole thing means?
Speaker 3: Like I want to know what that means?
Speaker 1: Okay, Well that was just a joke, but it talked
Speaker 1: about devotion to the mystical manifestation of the universe represented
Speaker 1: in the in the Renge flower. Rene was was the
Speaker 1: Lotus Sutra flower and Kio is the rhythm, the the
Speaker 1: energetic resonance that the universe universe vibrates on, and that
Speaker 1: they used the load of Sutra flower because it is
Speaker 1: this beautiful, flourishing flower that grows in an environment where
Speaker 1: no life should be possible. It's it's the audience possibility
Speaker 1: and miraculous.
Speaker 3: The audience from mimmy not to say I want to
Speaker 3: hear next time frommy.
Speaker 1: So, what I'm trying to say was I got the
Speaker 1: living shit kicked out of me a lot that year.
Speaker 3: Ah, they didn't. They weren't picking up what you were
Speaker 3: putting down. Bro. No.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So talking to a bunch of kids in Brooklyn
Speaker 1: about load of sutra flowers and like, yeah, just I'm
Speaker 1: shocked from your physical wellbeing.
Speaker 3: Wow, maybe you should have just border mate and ice cream.
Speaker 3: They would have loved you and accepted.
Speaker 2: You in hindsight.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what about This is more practical and almost lands
Speaker 3: in the psychology. But what's the term I guess situational awareness,
Speaker 3: like in the moment understanding, you know, being able to
Speaker 3: colloquially read the room or read the person in the
Speaker 3: room and just understand. Because sometimes, like for example, when
Speaker 3: I would have one of my trainers, and you know
Speaker 3: I have lots and lots of trainers, and I would
Speaker 3: see them doing something on the gym floor that wasn't okay.
Speaker 3: If it was diabolical, I would have gone and stopped it.
Speaker 3: But just something that's not what I want to happen
Speaker 3: or not the way I want it to happen exactly,
Speaker 3: So I would never go up to them and say hey,
Speaker 3: what are you doing? But I would never do that.
Speaker 3: I would just say, hey, when you get a moment,
Speaker 3: come see me, no dramas, just want to chat to
Speaker 3: you about something, right, And then they would still come
Speaker 3: into my office terrified. But when it's just me and
Speaker 3: them in a room and no one else can hear
Speaker 3: the feedback, we'll call it feedback or the direction or
Speaker 3: the coach, remembering they were all junior to me and
Speaker 3: I was their boss, and it would be received somewhere
Speaker 3: between usually okay and really well, not always but mostly.
Speaker 3: But had I done that in a different context, like
Speaker 3: in front of their peers or their clients, which would
Speaker 3: be stupid, the exact same information with the exact intention
Speaker 3: would create a fucking diabolical outcome most times, you know,
Speaker 3: ranging from resentment to wanting to fucking punch me in
Speaker 3: the face in the car park. Right, So, just that
Speaker 3: understanding of the when and the how and the why
Speaker 3: and the context and is this a good place and
Speaker 3: time to share this? I think it's somewhat situation dependent too,
Speaker 3: or it can be.
Speaker 1: Oh god, you have to be emotionally intelligent and if
Speaker 1: you're not, you're not going to be effective. Not just
Speaker 1: in that instance, but in many instances that you're going
Speaker 1: to engage, and you have to understand.
Speaker 2: What that environment is like, and not what it's like
Speaker 2: for you.
Speaker 1: Being the sage giving the advice, but the person receiving it,
Speaker 1: and the environment and the timing and the context in
Speaker 1: which they receive it and the delivery.
Speaker 2: It all mattered. Today I was writing a.
Speaker 1: I was writing an employee review which they requested, and
Speaker 1: it was a good one. I went over it a
Speaker 1: couple of times and I was like, Okay, even when
Speaker 1: I'm making recommendations, which is part of mede, Okay, moving forward,
Speaker 1: Here's what I'd like to see or what might be useful.
Speaker 2: How is this being framed?
Speaker 1: Is this being framed as a critique or something I
Speaker 1: am telling you I think you should do, or something
Speaker 1: that you might want to explore because of the way.
Speaker 2: It will impact you in the near and long term.
Speaker 2: So you and I sorry going back. So that's all
Speaker 2: I want to say.
Speaker 1: There's another valuable human being at the other end of
Speaker 1: what it is that they're reading or what you're saying.
Speaker 3: Is what you and I are doing right now giving
Speaker 3: advice on full paople on how not to give advice.
Speaker 2: I think it's really different, though.
Speaker 1: What we're doing is sharing insights and exploring ideas around
Speaker 1: the value of those insights, and not just the value
Speaker 1: of them, but what's the framework, what are the things
Speaker 1: that you need to consider? And when people listen to this,
Speaker 1: some of what we're saying might resonate and they might say, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: I can use this, or I understand more clearly now
Speaker 1: why I asked someone for advice. They gave it to me,
Speaker 1: I got upset and and follow it, or maybe I
Speaker 1: was at the other end of that is the advice giver,
Speaker 1: and I had a couple of assumptions that might have
Speaker 1: gotten the way, But I don't think to go back
Speaker 1: to what we were saying earlier, You and I have
Speaker 1: no expectation that anybody listening to this needs to do
Speaker 1: anyth thing or should do anything. People listening to us like, oh,
Speaker 1: well that was kind of insaneful. I get that, and
Speaker 1: they choose to do absolutely nothing, that's totally okay. Or
Speaker 1: if they're like, you know what, I think, I think
Speaker 1: I'm going to ask a couple of questions and next
Speaker 1: time somebody gives me advice to see how that goes
Speaker 1: that's great, they're plugging in. This is very different than
Speaker 1: a one on one conversation.
Speaker 3: I used to do, as I think you know and
Speaker 3: some of my listeners now. I used to work on
Speaker 3: a station in Melbourne radio station called SCN and for
Speaker 3: probably twelve years, and in general terms the exercise science,
Speaker 3: health wellness dude. And compared to I guess the other
Speaker 3: people on air in that space, my knowledge was better
Speaker 3: in all of that. But I would often get to
Speaker 3: ask questions by because it's real time. So it's real
Speaker 3: time radio, it's live, it's not a podcast, it's not
Speaker 3: a workshop that's not being recorded. It's like thousands of
Speaker 3: people listening. And I remember one day this guy rang
Speaker 3: up and went harps. So when I do this movement,
Speaker 3: I get clicking in my knee and I'm like, he's like,
Speaker 3: what do you reckon that is? And I go, that's
Speaker 3: definitely clicking in the knee. I go, bro, Not only
Speaker 3: don't I know, I'm not a physiotherapist, I'm not an osteo,
Speaker 3: I'm not a surgeon, I'm not a GP. Do I
Speaker 3: have thoughts in my head right now of what it
Speaker 3: might be? Yes? Could they be all wrong? Yes? I said,
Speaker 3: I would be the most unprofessional fitness professional in Australia
Speaker 3: if I started telling you diagnosing you the guy I've
Speaker 3: never met or seen with the knee that I can't
Speaker 3: see even if I could see it right, And I
Speaker 3: said to say, I just said to him, dide, you
Speaker 3: need to go see a physio or an ostio or
Speaker 3: a doctor. And he's like, oh really, but surely I go, no, mate, no, no,
Speaker 3: like sometimes you've just got to go. I've had to
Speaker 3: say many times, Look, I don't that's not my expertise.
Speaker 3: If I have any expertise, I don't even know enough
Speaker 3: about that to even pretend to give you what I
Speaker 3: think is something in the vicinity of some insight, you know,
Speaker 3: And I think that's when you are a coach, or
Speaker 3: when you are an educator of some sort, or when
Speaker 3: you and I think this is one of the dangers
Speaker 3: of you know, some I say, some social media influencers
Speaker 3: who are telling people to take all sorts of shit
Speaker 3: that's never been tested really or you know this herbal,
Speaker 3: that herbal, this peptide or that thing and this ll
Speaker 3: like nobody wants you to know about this because of
Speaker 3: Big Farmer. It's like that's the thing right now, Big farmer,
Speaker 3: Big farmer, and I get it. I'm not a big
Speaker 3: fan of Big Farmer, but you know, like swings and roundabouts,
Speaker 3: there are some pretty good drugs that have helped people
Speaker 3: a fucking lot. Let's be honest, and you know, this
Speaker 3: whole kind of it's everything's a fucking conspiracy and they
Speaker 3: don't want you to know about why you should take
Speaker 3: two cloves of garlic and some ginger every day because
Speaker 3: that would send the pharmaceutical companies broke. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 3: probably not. Probably not Kevin, who's got his YouTube show
Speaker 3: with seven followers. I don't know, keV. Maybe food for thought,
Speaker 3: but not It.
Speaker 1: Might create distance between you and your family members. But
Speaker 1: you know, you know what the worst part about that
Speaker 1: whole thing is, I've got this clicking my shoulder.
Speaker 2: I really wanted to ask you about.
Speaker 3: That's funny. I was having a sip of coffee. You
Speaker 3: almost made me spid. Yeah, okay, So internal rotation, external rotation, abduction, sorry,
Speaker 3: abduction of the humorous. What where do you feel it, Bobby?
Speaker 3: What position? You know, on a ball, on a bench,
Speaker 3: you know, cleaning your teeth, putting on a seat belt,
Speaker 3: like everything, like, all, yeah, right, What you should probably do,
Speaker 3: in my advice is, yeah, just start cooling your testicles,
Speaker 3: because apparently cooler testicles greater testosterone production, your shoulder or
Speaker 3: heal quicker. So put your balls in some ice and
Speaker 3: call me in a week and let me know how
Speaker 3: you've gone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, got it.
Speaker 3: When have you given advice that you Is there any
Speaker 3: moment that you reflect on a specific one? Not like
Speaker 3: I've done a hundred, but is there something I can
Speaker 3: think of at least ten hundreds, but ten specific things
Speaker 3: where I've gone, oh my god, why did I tell
Speaker 3: them to do that? Or why did I suggest that?
Speaker 3: Or is there one thing that you regret or look
Speaker 3: back on with embarrassment that you a piece of advice
Speaker 3: for one of a better term that you gave.
Speaker 1: Oh well, I'm sure there's a lot of instances that
Speaker 1: pops into my head right now. Is when I had
Speaker 1: gotten back from remember where I moved to Australia.
Speaker 2: I remember how fun that was?
Speaker 3: That was a bull, wasn't it? And and for all
Speaker 3: twelve minutes that you were here, we loved it. Now
Speaker 3: you hear from a month, you hear from.
Speaker 1: Us, Yeah, yeah, And then you know like everything fell apart.
Speaker 1: And then I came home and like, my wife had
Speaker 1: gone through a lot of stuff in her business, and
Speaker 1: she was asking me for my advice about which film
Speaker 1: festivals to go to, like invest In be part of.
Speaker 2: She had a few invitations.
Speaker 1: Of course, me, never being a filmmaker whatsoever, had lots
Speaker 1: of opinions completely contradicting everything.
Speaker 2: I've said on this show.
Speaker 1: It's like, wow, you know, and she's like everything I
Speaker 1: told her to do was the exact opposite of what
Speaker 1: she should have done. And I made a bad situation
Speaker 1: even worse. So yeah, that was That was great. But
Speaker 1: right around that time in my life, I was saying
Speaker 1: all the wrong things, doing all the wrong things at
Speaker 1: the worst possible time with the worst possible people.
Speaker 3: So do you ever recognize yourself? Okay, I am not
Speaker 3: a great I'm not in a great space today me personally,
Speaker 3: like emotionally or mentally or even physically. You don't want
Speaker 3: to ask me anything today like I'm not like today.
Speaker 3: For example, people know I've been dealing with a few
Speaker 3: things just with my health. I'm fine, but today I
Speaker 3: feel really fucking good. But one day this week I
Speaker 3: was so smashed. I felt like I had chronic fatigue
Speaker 3: time six for one day, and I just I felt sad,
Speaker 3: I felt shit, and a bunch of people rang me
Speaker 3: and I didn't answer any calls because I thought, I'm
Speaker 3: not going to be good on this call. I don't
Speaker 3: want to answer their questions. I don't want to whatever it.
Speaker 3: Even if they're just ringing up to chat, it will
Speaker 3: not be a good chat for them. And I wasn't
Speaker 3: grumpy or angry, but I just recognize I try to
Speaker 3: recognize my own bullshit or when I am mentally, emotionally
Speaker 3: or physically in a place where whatever I'm going to do,
Speaker 3: unless it's a pre arranged thing that I cannot avoid,
Speaker 3: there are times when I just cancel stuff because I
Speaker 3: know today I'm not going to be good and just
Speaker 3: recognize the limitation that is me in the situation.
Speaker 1: I think that's self awareness and emotional maturity. Absolutely. I
Speaker 1: think that is a very positive thing to do. It's
Speaker 1: like I am in this state right now and I'm not.
Speaker 1: I mean sometimes, obviously, as you said, you can't do that.
Speaker 1: You have albums that exceed what mental state you're in
Speaker 1: at the moment. But if you can do that, and
Speaker 1: there is a need. I think having that conversation is
Speaker 1: very important to people. And it's not like, no, I'm
Speaker 1: just not in the mental space say hey, you know
Speaker 1: you're asking me for A and B and hey, that's
Speaker 1: kind of a rough day for me. What about I
Speaker 1: propose C like can we reconvene on Thursday? Maybe like
Speaker 1: proposing a solution rather than I'm just I was on
Speaker 1: the phone with somebody it was very important in my
Speaker 1: personal life, and they were just like, I just don't
Speaker 1: have the bandwidth for this conversation. And I was like,
Speaker 1: is that because they're having a bad day or is
Speaker 1: that just because like the conversations with me? And it's
Speaker 1: like I'm just frustrating them with what we're talking about.
Speaker 1: And I was just I left that I was scratching
Speaker 1: my head. There was no further explanation given.
Speaker 3: It's like, Okay, I remember you telling this story a
Speaker 3: weak or two ago about the lady that I think
Speaker 3: he had a zoom call with something to do with
Speaker 3: coaching or she was in part of the coaching course
Speaker 3: that you were doing, and you looked at her and
Speaker 3: you saw straight up that she wasn't great. She looked
Speaker 3: like she'd been crying.
Speaker 2: Oh, my god.
Speaker 1: No, okay, yeah, I cushioned that actually because I felt
Speaker 1: really weird telling that story. She was hysterically crying right
Speaker 1: like like I can't, Oh my god, my marriage just
Speaker 1: fell apart everything. But it was it was so extreme
Speaker 1: that at first I was like, oh my god, is.
Speaker 2: This is this the practical test? This is intense. I
Speaker 2: don't think I've prepared for this. I would have failed
Speaker 2: this thing. What do I do?
Speaker 1: And it turned out that it was legit that that
Speaker 1: literally her whole life blew up that day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just.
Speaker 3: Well, that's a good that's a good day not to
Speaker 3: do work. That's a good day not to try to
Speaker 3: give other people advice when when you're just clinging onto
Speaker 3: your sanity and your emotional stability by a thread.
Speaker 1: I felt horrible for her because like we've had that,
Speaker 1: like where someone we love something's gone very wrong in
Speaker 1: a very maybe the most important relationship in our lives.
Speaker 1: So I could relate to how that feels.
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 1: I also remember being so grateful for her having the
Speaker 1: self awareness, maility and the courage to not just try
Speaker 1: to pull herself together and just like go through it
Speaker 1: with me on my practical exam so I felt so
Speaker 1: grateful for her.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I don't know if we've figured out if
Speaker 3: giving advice is a good thing or a bad thing.
Speaker 3: I think it some depends on the situation, context, person issue,
Speaker 3: all of that. But so let's wind up, and I
Speaker 3: want you obviously everyone, this is all unprompted, so as
Speaker 3: in unprepared. So is there any advice that you have,
Speaker 3: ironically or are there any things that you think people
Speaker 3: should be mindful of in the context of navigating the
Speaker 3: should I shouldn't I advice space?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but before you know one, check in with your self.
Speaker 1: Are you emotionally attached to giving advice? And I don't
Speaker 1: mean like it's all about you, but with the example
Speaker 1: with your mom and smoking, that's a very difficult situation.
Speaker 1: When you see someone that you're you love very much
Speaker 1: and they're doing something that is potentially damaging and especially
Speaker 1: if negative consequence has come to fruition, that's a lot.
Speaker 1: But check in with yourself this is there something you're
Speaker 1: needing personally in that advice? Is there something that you
Speaker 1: are attached to in the moment, like on a personal
Speaker 1: importance level? Ten I absolutely need to say this one. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm here, but you know it's not something that I
Speaker 1: personally need. If you're at a level nine or ten,
Speaker 1: if it can wait, don't say anything that day. If
Speaker 1: it is urgent and emergent, yeah, like go for it,
Speaker 1: because the damage of inaction is probably the exceeding the
Speaker 1: consequences of somebody not taking your advice. So that's first
Speaker 1: of well, check in with yourself and then check in
Speaker 1: with the other person, like are they in a place
Speaker 1: of high emotional arousal, because sometimes I might just be
Speaker 1: asking for advice because I'm very attached and desperate around
Speaker 1: something that may not be an issue two weeks from now.
Speaker 1: So check in with yourself, check in with them, and
Speaker 1: if possible, ask more questions before delivering insights to kind
Speaker 1: of identify what is the context around this and what
Speaker 1: are they really looking for?
Speaker 2: What are their intentions? Again? Is it just the sounding board.
Speaker 1: Are they looking for someone to affirm a decision that
Speaker 1: they're about to make, or are they really have they
Speaker 1: come to the end of their own area of expertise
Speaker 1: and they really want to know, Hey, what would you do?
Speaker 1: And then make your decision empathetically based on what is
Speaker 1: in the best interest of the individual in that moment
Speaker 1: and just understand you're never going to have the exact
Speaker 1: rate response or the right feedback or the right thing
Speaker 1: to say. But you can't say the wrong thing to
Speaker 1: the right person if there's trust in the relationship. Conversely,
Speaker 1: you can't you know, you can't say the right thing
Speaker 1: to the wrong person if someone's completely not prepared to hear.
Speaker 2: What you have to say. It might be about to
Speaker 2: say it.
Speaker 3: Well, my mum didn't talk to me for three months
Speaker 3: when I started banging on like almost my last stand
Speaker 3: where it was probably a bit melodramatic about the smoking.
Speaker 2: Well that's that's clear feedback.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's feedback. And Mary talks to me all the time.
Speaker 3: She was so fucked off at me, a little angry
Speaker 3: five foot weapon that she is, fucking Yoda of the family.
Speaker 2: She was.
Speaker 3: She shut me down like a fucking cheap stallsale. You know,
Speaker 3: it's like, ah, what one of the things, like, I know,
Speaker 3: we're winding up. But one of the very unusual for
Speaker 3: most people would be this kind of scenario where I reckon.
Speaker 3: In the last forty years I have had at least
Speaker 3: which doesn't sound a lot over forty years, but it
Speaker 3: is one hundred conversations with a person or persons, often
Speaker 3: business partners or husbands and wives who want to set
Speaker 3: up a PT studio. So let's go see the guy
Speaker 3: who set up the first one. Let's see the guy
Speaker 3: who set up the biggest one. Let's talk to that guy.
Speaker 3: And that is a tricky conversation to navigate because firstly,
Speaker 3: most personal training centers don't work over the if you
Speaker 3: call it, you know, surviving for a few years they work,
Speaker 3: But if you're talking about flourishing over ten twenty thirty years,
Speaker 3: they don't. And then then trying to figure out all
Speaker 3: of the variables around the commercial stuff, the financial stuff,
Speaker 3: the personality stuff that works stuff, the effort, the energy,
Speaker 3: the sacrifice, the risk, that all the stuff you know.
Speaker 3: And I would say to people regularly, I cannot tell
Speaker 3: you what to do, but I would tell you these
Speaker 3: are the things that I would consider, and this is
Speaker 3: how I did it, and this is what worked for
Speaker 3: me and what didn't work for me. But let's remember
Speaker 3: you are not me. It's like the way that I live.
Speaker 3: I would not recommend to anyone. I would never advise
Speaker 3: anyone take my path because I think it was a
Speaker 3: good path. Good path for me, but not for most people.
Speaker 3: So just coming from that, yeah, I can't tell you.
Speaker 3: And I know I've had people fly from many people
Speaker 3: fly from into state to spend a half dayish or
Speaker 3: whatever just going through this, and would usually do it
Speaker 3: on a whiteboard, drinking coffee in a room in my house.
Speaker 3: And you know, it's like, yeah, I know what you're
Speaker 3: wanting to hear. You kind of almost want to formula.
Speaker 3: I can't give you one because my formula would be
Speaker 3: a fucking catastrophe for you. But just leaning into the
Speaker 3: why why do you want to do this? What do
Speaker 3: you think? What do you think? Eighteen months into working
Speaker 3: night and day, maybe seven days a week on this
Speaker 3: business where it's precarious because in the street that you're
Speaker 3: setting up there are five other pt studios, not to
Speaker 3: mention pilarates, not to mention twenty four hour gyms, not
Speaker 3: to mention spin studios, not to mention a range of
Speaker 3: different martial arts, not to mention a fucking rock climbing gym, And.
Speaker 2: So you're not just people on that street.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well this is Hampton Street, dude, Apart from the
Speaker 3: rock climbing, that is Hampton Street. And so not only
Speaker 3: you're cutting the personal training pie, you're cutting the fitness
Speaker 3: pie because people can go you don't need.
Speaker 2: To train it.
Speaker 3: Come rock climbing, or come do forty five, or come
Speaker 3: do CrossFit, or come do that high drox or come
Speaker 3: do like there's so many options for people who want
Speaker 3: to change their body in some way that Yeah, it's like, oh,
Speaker 3: it's and also since I started, Like when I started,
Speaker 3: I had no competitors, Like how lucky was I. It's like,
Speaker 3: let me think about what all the other PT studios
Speaker 3: that don't exist are doing. It's like, no, well, just
Speaker 3: if I fucked up, it would have been totally me
Speaker 3: because I, essentially, in that space had no competition. So yeah,
Speaker 3: it's it's a it's an interesting territory to navigate when
Speaker 3: you're talking in things like that where there is no
Speaker 3: real right or wrong specifically.
Speaker 1: Yep, there's there's a lot of variables. What I love
Speaker 1: about that is this is what has worked for me. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's really mean, it's going to be what works for you.
Speaker 3: Last question before we go, what is one thing for
Speaker 3: you that you thought would work for you, not for
Speaker 3: anyone else, but what you thought was going to be
Speaker 3: the next big thing. Or light you on fire, and
Speaker 3: that was going to be your destiny or journey or
Speaker 3: path which you realized or had an epiphany or just
Speaker 3: discovered as a byproduct of results that turned out to
Speaker 3: be not the case.
Speaker 1: Maybe going into one of my businesses, I had thought
Speaker 1: at one point, not that the business would endure forever,
Speaker 1: but that the path I was on and the people
Speaker 1: I was on that path with or where I was
Speaker 1: going to spend the.
Speaker 2: Rest of my life.
Speaker 1: Right, I got into my head, this is this is
Speaker 1: this is my people, this is this is my geographical
Speaker 1: kind of destiny, this is this is my career path.
Speaker 1: And no, it did not work out like that at all.
Speaker 3: I think I know what you're talking about. Heim I
Speaker 3: love you. Always good to talk to you. The self
Speaker 3: help antidote is Bobby's show is his podcast. Robert Capuccio
Speaker 3: dot Com is his websites. You can find him on LinkedIn.
Speaker 3: Better than Instagram for.
Speaker 2: You, Yeah, definitely better than an Instagram.
Speaker 3: Yeh. He's still coaching people, by the by the way,
Speaker 3: like he's still available. Can people online coach with you?
Speaker 1: It's a case bake case basis, Like my job is
Speaker 1: coaching a lot of it. So I don't really take
Speaker 1: on private clients, not saying I wouldn't.
Speaker 3: It just it would.
Speaker 2: It would just be a case bake case basis would
Speaker 2: depend on on why and why.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I took on a client recently and I
Speaker 3: don't I'm like you, And we did one session. I
Speaker 3: love this dude. I can't say who he is, but
Speaker 3: he's got a very high level job, really good guy.
Speaker 3: And we spoke the first week on Zoom like this,
Speaker 3: and the next week he sent me a message. No,
Speaker 3: I said him a message because half the time, like
Speaker 3: we're talking about work related stuff and him and performance
Speaker 3: and other people and dynamics and just all the normal
Speaker 3: shit you talk about with kind of corporate coaching. And
Speaker 3: I discovered he's like he's a meathead, Like he's a
Speaker 3: very educated meathead. He loves the gym and so and
Speaker 3: this is weird, Like this is how flexible for me
Speaker 3: this stuff can be? And how buy the books? I
Speaker 3: am not? I said, hey, mate, do you want to
Speaker 3: do the next session at the gym so we can
Speaker 3: lift shit and talk about shit and then have a coffee.
Speaker 3: He's like, fuck, is that possible? I'm like, yeah, dude,
Speaker 3: would you like that? I go much better than talking
Speaker 3: on a fucking computer for an hour. And so now
Speaker 3: we do that. It's the best. Like it's the first
Speaker 3: time I've trained anyone in inverted commas, like in any
Speaker 3: kind of professional context. I'm talking about training, I'm talking
Speaker 3: about conditioning and stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for ten years, And it's such ability to build
Speaker 1: community at the gem, Like I'm like one of those
Speaker 1: people that when I go to the gym, I don't
Speaker 1: talk to anyone.
Speaker 2: Right, no, I don't even make eye contact. But like
Speaker 2: the community at the gym down by Hampton that you've built,
Speaker 2: I love that, do you know what I love?
Speaker 3: I love that though, Like just before we got on air,
Speaker 3: you saw me drinking coffee through the show. Right, I
Speaker 3: live across the road from a cafe that I don't
Speaker 3: go to very often, but the last time I was there, well,
Speaker 3: i'd probably go once a week. But the last time
Speaker 3: I was there, this same young lady, I guess twenty,
Speaker 3: I don't know, two three four. While she was making
Speaker 3: my coffee, she was singing. I'm like, I so loved it,
Speaker 3: and she can sing. She can sing right, great coffee,
Speaker 3: great voice. I'm like, this is the best coffee ever.
Speaker 3: And then I went back in just before the show
Speaker 3: to get another coffee and she was there. I'm like,
Speaker 3: it's the singer and she laughed. I go, do you
Speaker 3: sing sing? Or did you just sing when you make coffee?
Speaker 3: She goes, no, I'm sing in a bunch of bands
Speaker 3: and this and that, and she was so happy that
Speaker 3: I recognized her. I hope she doesn't listen to this,
Speaker 3: because she asked me what the show is called. But anyway,
Speaker 3: if you're listening, I think your ace. And then we
Speaker 3: had this beautiful chat for three or four minutes. She's like,
Speaker 3: what do you do. I go like, ah, I don't
Speaker 3: really know. Like I gave her an insight and it's
Speaker 3: like a bit of this and a bit of that,
Speaker 3: you know, and but it's just to have an encounter
Speaker 3: with somebody. Three minutes. It was fun. And then I
Speaker 3: walk out the door. I turn around, I go, see
Speaker 3: you sing? I keep singing and she laughed. All good.
Speaker 3: It's like just those moments, like to have an encounter
Speaker 3: with someone where it's like win win. It's like just
Speaker 3: energy energy, and.
Speaker 1: I'm totally a sucker for talent. And on that note,
Speaker 1: I've got to get to an improv show.
Speaker 3: All right, dude, it's been great. Love your guts. I'll
Speaker 3: everyone talk to you soon.
Speaker 2: Bye bye