1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,681 Speaker 1: Apochha Production, Life Stuff, life, parenting. 2 00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:16,441 Speaker 2: We're doing life together and we're just going to tell 3 00:00:16,481 --> 00:00:17,161 Speaker 2: you all about it. 4 00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:21,921 Speaker 1: I hate the word perimenopause. I can't We're not in menopause. 5 00:00:21,961 --> 00:00:28,961 Speaker 1: Like it's making me angry. What Welcome back to another 6 00:00:29,001 --> 00:00:32,961 Speaker 1: episode of Who Even Are We? We're going to do 7 00:00:33,481 --> 00:00:37,161 Speaker 1: a bonus episode on a Wednesday, and we are going 8 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,041 Speaker 1: to use voice notes from our. 9 00:00:39,881 --> 00:00:42,961 Speaker 2: Friends, friends or listeners that may want to like send 10 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,480 Speaker 2: something in yeah, yeah, And so if you do want to, 11 00:00:45,681 --> 00:00:48,441 Speaker 2: just DM us a little voice note so we can 12 00:00:48,601 --> 00:00:50,641 Speaker 2: use your voice. Obviously, no one's going to know that 13 00:00:50,681 --> 00:00:54,161 Speaker 2: it's your voice, but yeah, drop us a little hot 14 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:58,321 Speaker 2: topic or question or something that's just like maybe blowing 15 00:00:58,321 --> 00:00:58,761 Speaker 2: your mind. 16 00:00:58,961 --> 00:01:00,721 Speaker 1: We can change your voice as well. If you don't 17 00:01:00,721 --> 00:01:03,601 Speaker 1: want to be recognizable, we can use you know, old AI. 18 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:08,281 Speaker 3: Today's topic, we're talking about making friends as an adult. 19 00:01:08,441 --> 00:01:11,401 Speaker 1: This is an interesting one because this is something that 20 00:01:11,481 --> 00:01:13,241 Speaker 1: I feel like is easy. 21 00:01:13,321 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 3: When you're younger. It's easy. 22 00:01:14,681 --> 00:01:17,041 Speaker 1: You're at school or you're you know, doing whatever, and 23 00:01:17,081 --> 00:01:19,840 Speaker 1: you make friends, and that's fairly easy. When you get older, 24 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:24,041 Speaker 1: a lot of people already have their people, you know, 25 00:01:24,401 --> 00:01:27,441 Speaker 1: like a lot of people already have their friends that 26 00:01:27,481 --> 00:01:32,560 Speaker 1: they had from UNI or school or old jobs. You know, 27 00:01:32,721 --> 00:01:36,081 Speaker 1: A really great example is me and you, right, not 28 00:01:36,241 --> 00:01:41,161 Speaker 1: our friendship because we met in a work situation, but 29 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,041 Speaker 1: the way I have made friends with your. 30 00:01:44,961 --> 00:01:45,841 Speaker 3: Group of friends. 31 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,401 Speaker 1: Yeah, like I've kind of like, you know, invited myself 32 00:01:49,441 --> 00:01:54,721 Speaker 1: into your friend circle. But what happened was I met 33 00:01:54,721 --> 00:01:57,601 Speaker 1: people through you. We did things like I think we 34 00:01:57,681 --> 00:02:00,921 Speaker 1: did like an Australia Day thing. And there's been situations 35 00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:03,561 Speaker 1: like that, trips up to NUSA and all the rest 36 00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:06,681 Speaker 1: of it where I've met your friend and then we've 37 00:02:06,721 --> 00:02:10,601 Speaker 1: become really friendly and then I've been invited to things 38 00:02:10,721 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 1: and I definitely and this is really interesting, Rach because 39 00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:17,321 Speaker 1: I definitely went through a stage of going, don't get 40 00:02:17,321 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 1: too close to those girls. They're not your friends, they're 41 00:02:21,201 --> 00:02:25,041 Speaker 1: Rachel's friends. I remember having a conversation with a couple 42 00:02:25,081 --> 00:02:27,321 Speaker 1: of them at something and they were like, oh my goodness, 43 00:02:27,401 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 1: Like why would you feel like that? We like, you know, 44 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 1: I remember saying I really want to be in your 45 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,281 Speaker 1: friend group, like you're my people, Like I want to 46 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,601 Speaker 1: be in the friend group. And once upon a time 47 00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:40,881 Speaker 1: I would never have had the guts to say that 48 00:02:41,601 --> 00:02:42,961 Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what, what have I 49 00:02:43,001 --> 00:02:45,121 Speaker 1: got to lose? If they like hanging out with me, 50 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: then we can be friends. 51 00:02:46,721 --> 00:02:47,761 Speaker 3: Too, exactly. 52 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,321 Speaker 2: And I think I'm also like that, like I have 53 00:02:50,401 --> 00:02:52,841 Speaker 2: different groups of friends, but you always come back to 54 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:56,401 Speaker 2: that core group. And I remember someone saying to me, 55 00:02:56,601 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 2: like early on, like when you're going through that whole 56 00:02:59,081 --> 00:03:01,761 Speaker 2: like the early days of kids, you sort of feel 57 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,601 Speaker 2: like you lose contact with the world because you're in 58 00:03:05,641 --> 00:03:09,521 Speaker 2: the depths of nappies and toilet training and all of 59 00:03:09,561 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 2: the stuff that somehow consume every waking minute of your 60 00:03:13,161 --> 00:03:15,801 Speaker 2: life until they sort of hit an age. And I 61 00:03:15,841 --> 00:03:17,960 Speaker 2: remember someone saying, as soon as they get to like 62 00:03:18,001 --> 00:03:20,361 Speaker 2: get KINDI and then go into that school, you'll meet 63 00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:23,921 Speaker 2: some really good people. I'd met amazing people all the 64 00:03:23,921 --> 00:03:28,841 Speaker 2: way along, and I just remember getting to like Kindy 65 00:03:29,321 --> 00:03:33,001 Speaker 2: and that's where I met majority of those girls, and 66 00:03:33,041 --> 00:03:34,961 Speaker 2: then you know, I had other friends and then they 67 00:03:35,001 --> 00:03:36,921 Speaker 2: all met kind of just like you, like we all 68 00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:39,281 Speaker 2: sort of you know, came together that way, and. 69 00:03:39,241 --> 00:03:40,041 Speaker 3: That's how you do it. 70 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:45,321 Speaker 2: Obviously, there's like select people that you're going to absolutely 71 00:03:45,321 --> 00:03:48,081 Speaker 2: connect with, and then others that you're like, hey, how 72 00:03:48,121 --> 00:03:48,401 Speaker 2: are you? 73 00:03:48,481 --> 00:03:51,401 Speaker 3: And it's more an acquaintance than it is like friends. 74 00:03:52,121 --> 00:03:54,641 Speaker 2: As an adult, I think it makes it harder because 75 00:03:55,681 --> 00:03:58,041 Speaker 2: exactly that you don't want to put yourself back out 76 00:03:58,081 --> 00:04:00,281 Speaker 2: there because you might have been burnt in the past, 77 00:04:00,561 --> 00:04:02,561 Speaker 2: or you don't want to put yourself out there again 78 00:04:02,921 --> 00:04:04,921 Speaker 2: because you might have loved really hard and not had 79 00:04:04,921 --> 00:04:08,281 Speaker 2: to return and like love in a friendship obviously is 80 00:04:08,361 --> 00:04:11,481 Speaker 2: absolutely relevant, or you might have been letdown or whatever 81 00:04:11,481 --> 00:04:11,761 Speaker 2: it is. 82 00:04:12,241 --> 00:04:15,361 Speaker 1: I think there's also like a fear of rejection. I 83 00:04:15,441 --> 00:04:18,601 Speaker 1: know people who have reached out to other people on 84 00:04:18,761 --> 00:04:22,640 Speaker 1: Instagram and been like, Oh, I really love what you're doing, 85 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:25,041 Speaker 1: really cool, I'd love to hang out. That for me 86 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:29,081 Speaker 1: takes a lot of guts. Yeah, because there's that whole 87 00:04:29,201 --> 00:04:31,041 Speaker 1: part of am I gonna look like a weirdo? 88 00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,281 Speaker 3: Like if I just reach out to this person. 89 00:04:33,601 --> 00:04:36,361 Speaker 1: I think we all look at people on social media 90 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,801 Speaker 1: and go they look like my kind of person. I 91 00:04:38,801 --> 00:04:40,561 Speaker 1: think that they'd be really cool to hang out with. 92 00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:45,201 Speaker 1: But who actually reaches out to people like strangers and 93 00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:45,641 Speaker 1: does that? 94 00:04:45,801 --> 00:04:46,681 Speaker 3: Absolutely don't. 95 00:04:46,801 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 2: And I think that part of us being brave enough 96 00:04:49,801 --> 00:04:53,161 Speaker 2: to have a conversation with someone like nowadays, when you 97 00:04:53,241 --> 00:04:56,641 Speaker 2: go somewhere and you see maybe that one or two 98 00:04:56,961 --> 00:05:00,521 Speaker 2: customers in a cafe that are not on the phone, 99 00:05:00,961 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 2: and then the rest of the whole cafe are all 100 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:07,561 Speaker 2: consumed by their devices, and you're willing enough to like 101 00:05:07,721 --> 00:05:10,481 Speaker 2: look up and make eye contact with the person that 102 00:05:10,681 --> 00:05:13,561 Speaker 2: is in the coffee shop that doesn't have their phone 103 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:17,161 Speaker 2: in their face either, Like it takes courage. 104 00:05:16,601 --> 00:05:18,521 Speaker 3: And like being brave to them. 105 00:05:18,641 --> 00:05:22,921 Speaker 2: Now in this today's society, have a conversation with a stranger, 106 00:05:23,121 --> 00:05:26,001 Speaker 2: let alone build a friendship or report. I've got a 107 00:05:26,041 --> 00:05:30,681 Speaker 2: couple of friends that are always that person that was like, oh, 108 00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:32,241 Speaker 2: I was on a plane the other day and I 109 00:05:32,281 --> 00:05:35,761 Speaker 2: met this amazing person and like this is their life story, 110 00:05:35,801 --> 00:05:38,881 Speaker 2: and now we've connected and we've like we're gonna have 111 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 2: coffee when I'm in Sydney next And I look and 112 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:47,041 Speaker 2: I always go, how how every single flight, how do 113 00:05:47,121 --> 00:05:50,881 Speaker 2: you meet someone that has something to either connect with you, 114 00:05:51,121 --> 00:05:54,801 Speaker 2: give you business from how do you do that? 115 00:05:55,241 --> 00:05:58,681 Speaker 1: I've had some really interesting flights, right, you have to 116 00:05:58,721 --> 00:06:02,241 Speaker 1: be in the headspace for it, because I've certainly also 117 00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:04,121 Speaker 1: sat on a plane before and thought I don't want 118 00:06:04,161 --> 00:06:05,361 Speaker 1: to speak to anyone. 119 00:06:05,241 --> 00:06:08,601 Speaker 2: Like that depends on the lengths depends if you've got 120 00:06:08,641 --> 00:06:10,001 Speaker 2: something else consuming your brain. 121 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 3: I flew back right. 122 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:15,720 Speaker 1: I was in London visiting family, and I flew back 123 00:06:16,041 --> 00:06:20,601 Speaker 1: on my own and I did that London to Bangkok. 124 00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:24,080 Speaker 1: That's where the stopover was. And on that flight rage, 125 00:06:24,761 --> 00:06:27,401 Speaker 1: I was in the middle of two guys. I had 126 00:06:27,401 --> 00:06:30,601 Speaker 1: their middle seat. They're fucking horrible, all those long haul 127 00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 1: economy flights where you're in the middle seat. Anyway, I 128 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:38,241 Speaker 1: had this older guy in the window seat, and then 129 00:06:38,281 --> 00:06:41,681 Speaker 1: I had another guy who was also a bit older 130 00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 1: on the aisle seat next to me. Completely different walks 131 00:06:46,121 --> 00:06:48,961 Speaker 1: of life. By the end of the flight, rate we 132 00:06:48,961 --> 00:06:52,121 Speaker 1: were blind drunk. The lady would come past and would 133 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:54,241 Speaker 1: anybody like any drink? And he'd go, oh, I have 134 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,081 Speaker 1: a drink, You can have a drink. Yeah, I'll have 135 00:06:56,121 --> 00:06:58,080 Speaker 1: a drink. And then I'll make the French guy, Yeah, 136 00:06:58,121 --> 00:07:01,681 Speaker 1: I'll have a drink too, And so we're three completely 137 00:07:02,041 --> 00:07:05,721 Speaker 1: different people, so different. The guy in the indow seat 138 00:07:06,081 --> 00:07:08,681 Speaker 1: was flying to Bangkok because he was hooking up with 139 00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:10,121 Speaker 1: a woman he'd met online. 140 00:07:10,601 --> 00:07:12,761 Speaker 3: The tie ride. I didn't like to tell him at 141 00:07:12,761 --> 00:07:13,121 Speaker 3: the time. 142 00:07:13,281 --> 00:07:18,361 Speaker 1: He sure she's female, Are you sure? And then this 143 00:07:18,441 --> 00:07:20,601 Speaker 1: guy was a business man like he was flying for 144 00:07:20,681 --> 00:07:24,041 Speaker 1: business like well to do, wearing a kind of suit 145 00:07:24,121 --> 00:07:25,801 Speaker 1: jacket unusual. 146 00:07:25,321 --> 00:07:29,401 Speaker 3: For a long haul flight. Flight mate, put your tack 147 00:07:29,561 --> 00:07:33,001 Speaker 3: is on your for long haul. 148 00:07:33,681 --> 00:07:36,121 Speaker 1: Honestly, we had the best time, the three of us, 149 00:07:36,161 --> 00:07:40,001 Speaker 1: completely different walks of life, so different, all traveling for 150 00:07:40,081 --> 00:07:44,601 Speaker 1: a completely random reason. But I remember that flight so 151 00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,081 Speaker 1: well because we had such a laugh. 152 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:51,601 Speaker 2: In any other situation where you weren't tied down to 153 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,281 Speaker 2: a seat in a cylinder in the. 154 00:07:53,201 --> 00:07:55,281 Speaker 3: Sky, would you have talked to them? 155 00:07:55,561 --> 00:07:57,761 Speaker 2: No, that's what I mean, Like, it's I think they 156 00:07:57,881 --> 00:08:02,001 Speaker 2: travel in itself, your personality sort of becomes really able 157 00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:04,321 Speaker 2: to meet people because you're out. 158 00:08:04,121 --> 00:08:06,361 Speaker 3: Of your comfort zone. You don't have other people to 159 00:08:06,401 --> 00:08:08,121 Speaker 3: fall back on, you don't have your friends. 160 00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:12,081 Speaker 2: That travel allows you to expand grow and meet new people. 161 00:08:12,401 --> 00:08:15,161 Speaker 2: Coming back from Lapland, I would never have expected to 162 00:08:15,201 --> 00:08:17,561 Speaker 2: sit in a room on the other side of the 163 00:08:17,601 --> 00:08:20,361 Speaker 2: world and be sitting with a room. 164 00:08:20,201 --> 00:08:20,921 Speaker 3: Full of Aussies. 165 00:08:21,761 --> 00:08:25,121 Speaker 2: But in that room full of Aussies we met some 166 00:08:25,201 --> 00:08:28,161 Speaker 2: really amazing people. And when we left, like my kids 167 00:08:28,201 --> 00:08:30,801 Speaker 2: were like, oh my gosh, they were amazing. I'm so 168 00:08:30,921 --> 00:08:33,441 Speaker 2: glad we met new friends. Like kids meet your friend 169 00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:37,881 Speaker 2: like best friends life every day. They genuinely were like, 170 00:08:37,921 --> 00:08:40,441 Speaker 2: they're really good people and I was like, yeah, everyone 171 00:08:40,641 --> 00:08:41,801 Speaker 2: was so bloody amazing. 172 00:08:41,841 --> 00:08:43,241 Speaker 3: Did you exchange any nhing? Yeah? 173 00:08:43,321 --> 00:08:46,361 Speaker 2: So now I like chat with two families in particular, 174 00:08:46,561 --> 00:08:48,921 Speaker 2: ones from the Gold Coast and the other ones in Sydney, and. 175 00:08:48,841 --> 00:08:50,681 Speaker 3: Now we're all like, oh, let's catch up for an 176 00:08:50,721 --> 00:08:55,201 Speaker 3: annual holiday. But you would never have met yeah holiday. 177 00:08:55,241 --> 00:08:57,521 Speaker 3: They're great for that. You're not so guarded. 178 00:08:57,961 --> 00:09:00,161 Speaker 2: Whereas you go the races here in Brisbane, you don't 179 00:09:00,201 --> 00:09:02,401 Speaker 2: leave your table or your group for friends that you're with, 180 00:09:02,481 --> 00:09:04,321 Speaker 2: and you stay specifically with them. 181 00:09:04,321 --> 00:09:06,561 Speaker 3: You don't talk to any I would say. 182 00:09:06,601 --> 00:09:09,041 Speaker 1: One of the things that I wish I had never 183 00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,681 Speaker 1: done so much, and I think I'm getting better at it, 184 00:09:11,721 --> 00:09:15,441 Speaker 1: is not having the fear of reaching out to people, 185 00:09:15,801 --> 00:09:18,121 Speaker 1: so just going fuck it. I think I like that 186 00:09:18,161 --> 00:09:20,921 Speaker 1: person and they're my vibe. I'm just going to reach 187 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:23,521 Speaker 1: out to them. That's one thing. We've actually got a 188 00:09:23,561 --> 00:09:27,521 Speaker 1: friend who reached out to you because she listened to 189 00:09:27,561 --> 00:09:31,001 Speaker 1: the podcast and I think started doing some chraining. 190 00:09:31,281 --> 00:09:33,761 Speaker 3: She was like, I'm interested in training with you. 191 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:38,161 Speaker 2: Now she's met everybody like in the circle and it's yeah, how. 192 00:09:38,041 --> 00:09:39,201 Speaker 3: Well, and we're all friends. 193 00:09:39,321 --> 00:09:41,841 Speaker 1: But what I would say for her is it took 194 00:09:41,921 --> 00:09:45,321 Speaker 1: that courage to reach out to you. Now, yes, I 195 00:09:45,321 --> 00:09:47,361 Speaker 1: know she trains with you, Rach, but I also think 196 00:09:47,401 --> 00:09:50,121 Speaker 1: that there was an element of she's my vibe. 197 00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:51,641 Speaker 3: You know, I think Rach. 198 00:09:51,561 --> 00:09:53,961 Speaker 1: Looks like a cool person to hang out with. But 199 00:09:54,041 --> 00:09:57,401 Speaker 1: what's happened is now she's, you know, one of the girls, 200 00:09:57,481 --> 00:10:01,561 Speaker 1: and she is good fun. And had she have not 201 00:10:01,841 --> 00:10:04,841 Speaker 1: taken that step, which I would say ninety nine percent 202 00:10:04,841 --> 00:10:09,881 Speaker 1: of people probably wouldn't do, then that wouldn't have happened formulated. 203 00:10:09,961 --> 00:10:10,201 Speaker 3: I know. 204 00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:12,921 Speaker 2: I think for me, like if I was to give 205 00:10:12,961 --> 00:10:16,401 Speaker 2: you chips on how to meet people or I don't know, 206 00:10:16,641 --> 00:10:20,041 Speaker 2: travel more, be willing to look up from hiding behind 207 00:10:20,041 --> 00:10:22,641 Speaker 2: a device would be my other one. Because I have 208 00:10:22,761 --> 00:10:26,761 Speaker 2: only just recently since coming back, I'll now make a 209 00:10:26,801 --> 00:10:29,601 Speaker 2: conscious of it because I was hiding. I hide behind 210 00:10:29,641 --> 00:10:31,441 Speaker 2: it because I don't have to look up and I 211 00:10:31,441 --> 00:10:34,641 Speaker 2: don't have to make conversation. I literally have seen my 212 00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:37,681 Speaker 2: own patterning of that, and I go, no, no, no more. 213 00:10:37,921 --> 00:10:40,521 Speaker 2: I'm not scared of talking to strangers. I'm not scared 214 00:10:40,561 --> 00:10:44,321 Speaker 2: of having a conversation and the whole part of what 215 00:10:44,401 --> 00:10:47,121 Speaker 2: twenty twenty six should be about, just for me personally 216 00:10:47,201 --> 00:10:49,881 Speaker 2: is more about that whole connection and. 217 00:10:49,801 --> 00:10:51,761 Speaker 3: Community and what I can give back. 218 00:10:51,921 --> 00:10:55,641 Speaker 2: And that is even in the smallest of a conversation 219 00:10:55,841 --> 00:10:58,401 Speaker 2: with a stranger, because you don't know if it's making 220 00:10:58,441 --> 00:11:01,361 Speaker 2: their entire week or their entire day. You don't know 221 00:11:01,401 --> 00:11:04,721 Speaker 2: if you're the only person to have had a conversation 222 00:11:04,801 --> 00:11:08,601 Speaker 2: with them in real life for the entire day. 223 00:11:08,881 --> 00:11:10,401 Speaker 3: That might take two minutes of your day. 224 00:11:10,601 --> 00:11:12,681 Speaker 2: So my thing is like, we need to stop hiding 225 00:11:12,681 --> 00:11:15,201 Speaker 2: behind our devices and we need to be willing to 226 00:11:15,281 --> 00:11:18,041 Speaker 2: lift our head and put ourselves out there a little bit. 227 00:11:17,921 --> 00:11:20,201 Speaker 1: More because in real worst that could happen as well, 228 00:11:20,281 --> 00:11:22,561 Speaker 1: Like you start speaking to someone in a coffee shop 229 00:11:22,721 --> 00:11:25,041 Speaker 1: as an example, what's the worst that could happen. They're 230 00:11:25,081 --> 00:11:26,721 Speaker 1: having a bad day, they think you're weird, and they 231 00:11:26,761 --> 00:11:30,281 Speaker 1: don't want to talk. Okay, Well, but then their loss. 232 00:11:30,441 --> 00:11:32,521 Speaker 3: Whole load of people who would. 233 00:11:33,041 --> 00:11:35,921 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's exactly right. It is, it's their loss. 234 00:11:36,081 --> 00:11:38,601 Speaker 2: What if they don't want to talk to you, you're 235 00:11:38,601 --> 00:11:40,681 Speaker 2: going to either walk off, have a bit of a 236 00:11:40,721 --> 00:11:43,601 Speaker 2: chuckle at yourself for putting yourself out there and then 237 00:11:43,681 --> 00:11:44,161 Speaker 2: having that. 238 00:11:44,081 --> 00:11:48,401 Speaker 3: Reaction, or you'll like, you know, have a conversation. 239 00:11:47,921 --> 00:11:50,401 Speaker 2: That you might not have, and it might be a 240 00:11:50,561 --> 00:11:53,681 Speaker 2: meaningful conversation that you'll take that piece of gold away 241 00:11:53,681 --> 00:11:55,201 Speaker 2: for the day that you go, wow, I didn't even 242 00:11:55,241 --> 00:11:58,801 Speaker 2: know that, or it might be meaningless. You might have 243 00:11:58,881 --> 00:12:01,401 Speaker 2: a little laugh with each other and like depart and 244 00:12:01,401 --> 00:12:04,001 Speaker 2: then keep going. What is staying in my mind right 245 00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:07,321 Speaker 2: now is like complete an utter stranger. And here we 246 00:12:07,361 --> 00:12:10,881 Speaker 2: are in Singapore. I'm on a run, he's on a run. 247 00:12:11,441 --> 00:12:14,881 Speaker 2: He can see me obviously get my phone out and 248 00:12:17,401 --> 00:12:21,481 Speaker 2: take a video of my run, right and he's running 249 00:12:21,521 --> 00:12:24,761 Speaker 2: towards me, and he looks at me and goes, oh, well, 250 00:12:24,761 --> 00:12:27,121 Speaker 2: if we don't fucking film it, we didn't fucking. 251 00:12:26,921 --> 00:12:27,961 Speaker 3: Run, did we like this? 252 00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:31,361 Speaker 2: And he's laughing his head off and I just burst 253 00:12:31,601 --> 00:12:35,001 Speaker 2: out laughing to the point that I like put my 254 00:12:35,041 --> 00:12:37,521 Speaker 2: phone away, turned to him and I was like, you 255 00:12:37,681 --> 00:12:39,441 Speaker 2: just made my day. I was like thanks, and he 256 00:12:39,521 --> 00:12:41,681 Speaker 2: was like, ohh like this is he still feel me? 257 00:12:42,201 --> 00:12:45,081 Speaker 2: And we just kept running past each other. That staged 258 00:12:45,121 --> 00:12:48,281 Speaker 2: with me for the entire remainder of my I think 259 00:12:48,321 --> 00:12:50,201 Speaker 2: I was awake for like thirty eight hours straight, but 260 00:12:50,441 --> 00:12:52,121 Speaker 2: I was still chuckling at that. 261 00:12:52,121 --> 00:12:53,081 Speaker 3: That's all it takes. 262 00:12:53,241 --> 00:12:56,161 Speaker 1: Yeah, same thing happened to me this morning. I was 263 00:12:56,201 --> 00:12:58,561 Speaker 1: not on a run. I was on a walk, but 264 00:12:58,681 --> 00:13:02,161 Speaker 1: there was an old guy, you know, mid seventies kind 265 00:13:02,161 --> 00:13:05,201 Speaker 1: of age, and down where I walk, we've got like 266 00:13:05,241 --> 00:13:09,121 Speaker 1: a field where there's horses. He's down there with carrots 267 00:13:09,401 --> 00:13:11,921 Speaker 1: feeding the horses. So I stopped and had a conversation 268 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:15,161 Speaker 1: with him. Oh hey, you know this one's called Coco. 269 00:13:15,441 --> 00:13:16,721 Speaker 3: Oh cute horse. 270 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:19,561 Speaker 1: You know, all right, we'll have a great day. It 271 00:13:19,601 --> 00:13:22,681 Speaker 1: makes you feel so good. I love feeling like that 272 00:13:22,841 --> 00:13:24,121 Speaker 1: piece of giving back. 273 00:13:24,441 --> 00:13:27,361 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're giving back to yourself, but you're giving to 274 00:13:27,401 --> 00:13:29,121 Speaker 2: someone else, and that's what it's all about. 275 00:13:29,521 --> 00:13:30,521 Speaker 3: So yeah, I reckon. 276 00:13:30,561 --> 00:13:34,321 Speaker 1: The takeaway is, don't be afraid of having a chat 277 00:13:34,321 --> 00:13:36,401 Speaker 1: to someone, whether it's in a cafe, whether it's out 278 00:13:36,401 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 1: on a run, whether it's online on Instagram. 279 00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:40,401 Speaker 3: Reach out to people. 280 00:13:40,441 --> 00:13:43,721 Speaker 1: Don't be afraid of the rejection because there are more 281 00:13:43,761 --> 00:13:46,721 Speaker 1: people than you think that are wanting to make new friends. 282 00:13:47,001 --> 00:13:48,201 Speaker 3: My assumption when I. 283 00:13:48,201 --> 00:13:51,161 Speaker 1: Moved to Brisbane and I moved to Australia from England, 284 00:13:51,201 --> 00:13:53,201 Speaker 1: I moved to Sydney, I knew no one. I moved 285 00:13:53,241 --> 00:13:55,401 Speaker 1: to Brisbane, I knew no one. There's a lot of 286 00:13:55,441 --> 00:13:58,841 Speaker 1: people in that boat. My assumption was that everybody that 287 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:02,081 Speaker 1: I met already had their friends and that was enough 288 00:14:02,121 --> 00:14:04,601 Speaker 1: and they weren't interested in having any more friends. That 289 00:14:04,721 --> 00:14:08,241 Speaker 1: was my assumption. But so many people, especially in Australia. 290 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,881 Speaker 1: You've come from different states, people have moved from Sydney 291 00:14:10,881 --> 00:14:14,241 Speaker 1: and Melbourne or wherever. They're all in the same boat. 292 00:14:14,361 --> 00:14:17,481 Speaker 1: People want to make new connections and make new friends. 293 00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:20,641 Speaker 1: That don't assume that people don't. I was in the gym. 294 00:14:20,761 --> 00:14:23,081 Speaker 1: I've been at my gym for six years. I remember 295 00:14:23,481 --> 00:14:26,121 Speaker 1: years ago a girl came up to me and she 296 00:14:26,201 --> 00:14:28,041 Speaker 1: was like, Wow, you're doing so well at the gym, 297 00:14:28,081 --> 00:14:29,721 Speaker 1: Like I noticed that you've been here for a while 298 00:14:29,721 --> 00:14:32,081 Speaker 1: and you've lost so much weight. Blah blah blah blah blah. 299 00:14:32,281 --> 00:14:34,441 Speaker 1: And at the time, rache I was like, Oh, yeah, 300 00:14:34,481 --> 00:14:37,681 Speaker 1: that's really nice. I shut the conversation down quickly, thinking 301 00:14:37,841 --> 00:14:40,201 Speaker 1: oh she's weird or if she just come up to 302 00:14:40,241 --> 00:14:43,321 Speaker 1: me out of the blue. Honestly, that's me been completely honest. 303 00:14:43,681 --> 00:14:46,801 Speaker 1: I saw her the other day at Pilate's and she 304 00:14:47,241 --> 00:14:49,681 Speaker 1: made conversation again, It wasn't just six years ago. And 305 00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:52,681 Speaker 1: then the other day we've said hello over the years. 306 00:14:53,761 --> 00:14:56,761 Speaker 1: The first time I thought the other day, rach, I'm 307 00:14:56,801 --> 00:14:58,841 Speaker 1: actually going to have a longer conversation with her and 308 00:14:58,841 --> 00:15:01,881 Speaker 1: I'm going to find out about her because she makes 309 00:15:01,921 --> 00:15:03,481 Speaker 1: the effort to talk to me. 310 00:15:04,441 --> 00:15:05,761 Speaker 3: Why am I not making the effort? 311 00:15:05,761 --> 00:15:06,841 Speaker 1: Why am I shutting that down? 312 00:15:06,881 --> 00:15:09,921 Speaker 3: She's nice, she's not weird y holding. 313 00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:13,201 Speaker 2: I think we've got such a like a stop on 314 00:15:13,321 --> 00:15:15,841 Speaker 2: things because you just assume there's something wrong with them 315 00:15:15,841 --> 00:15:18,481 Speaker 2: if they want to be friendly to you, yeah, or 316 00:15:18,481 --> 00:15:20,241 Speaker 2: they want something from you, So then you shut it 317 00:15:20,241 --> 00:15:22,321 Speaker 2: down and go, well, I'm not buying something like you 318 00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:24,161 Speaker 2: know what I mean, like or it's something like that, 319 00:15:24,201 --> 00:15:25,841 Speaker 2: so you sort of shut it down. 320 00:15:26,201 --> 00:15:27,201 Speaker 3: Just put yourself out there. 321 00:15:27,401 --> 00:15:30,801 Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, good luck and making new friends for twenty 322 00:15:30,881 --> 00:15:31,921 Speaker 2: twenty six. 323 00:15:32,321 --> 00:15:36,241 Speaker 1: Yeah, let's try and make an effort to once a week. 324 00:15:36,401 --> 00:15:40,481 Speaker 1: Maybe that's doable. Yeah, have a conversation with someone, see what. 325 00:15:40,401 --> 00:15:43,681 Speaker 3: Comes of it. Don't put expectation on anything. Just put 326 00:15:43,721 --> 00:15:44,241 Speaker 3: it out there. 327 00:15:44,561 --> 00:15:46,401 Speaker 2: If you're going to make new friends, you'll make new friends, 328 00:15:46,401 --> 00:15:48,281 Speaker 2: but you got to be willing to do it. You'd 329 00:15:48,321 --> 00:15:50,361 Speaker 2: be willing to open yourself to doing that. 330 00:15:50,801 --> 00:15:53,401 Speaker 1: Yeah, Or you could just find a friend and worm 331 00:15:53,441 --> 00:15:54,881 Speaker 1: your way in with theirs like I did. 332 00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:58,841 Speaker 3: You