1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,321 Speaker 1: Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy 2 00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:14,081 Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. 3 00:00:14,401 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to 4 00:00:17,401 --> 00:00:20,881 Speaker 2: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself. 5 00:00:21,041 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 6 00:00:23,401 --> 00:00:26,320 Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 7 00:00:26,321 --> 00:00:27,881 Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about. 8 00:00:28,481 --> 00:00:31,201 Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self. 9 00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:36,601 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, welcome back to She Raises. Today, we're talking 10 00:00:36,841 --> 00:00:39,481 Speaker 1: all about social media. We are dos and don't how 11 00:00:39,521 --> 00:00:42,361 Speaker 1: it impacts us. Our advice to make social media be 12 00:00:42,441 --> 00:00:44,160 Speaker 1: a positive in your life because it definitely has a 13 00:00:44,241 --> 00:00:46,921 Speaker 1: dark side and impact us in a negative way. So 14 00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:48,520 Speaker 1: we got to share all of our advice because we 15 00:00:48,601 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: are quite big on social media. I've been on fifteen years. 16 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,081 Speaker 1: You've been on for how long? 17 00:00:52,441 --> 00:00:52,961 Speaker 2: Five years? 18 00:00:53,001 --> 00:00:53,481 Speaker 1: Five years? 19 00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:56,721 Speaker 2: I mean working, working five years, but on. 20 00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:59,121 Speaker 1: Socials for a long time. Yes, all of us have. 21 00:00:59,321 --> 00:01:02,161 Speaker 1: We all definitely have some unhealthy habits like doom scrolling. 22 00:01:02,961 --> 00:01:04,561 Speaker 1: To talk about it today, but before we get into it, 23 00:01:04,601 --> 00:01:05,721 Speaker 1: what should she My. 24 00:01:05,641 --> 00:01:07,881 Speaker 2: Share of the Week is actually an Instagram account. So 25 00:01:08,241 --> 00:01:11,521 Speaker 2: this man, his name is Quinin and he's a relationship 26 00:01:11,521 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 2: slash breakthrough coach. Now he's for context. His bio says, 27 00:01:15,601 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 2: I mentor those who are healing but still stuck, break 28 00:01:18,321 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 2: free from patterns sabotage and toxic relationship dynamics without endless therapy. 29 00:01:22,441 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 2: And I really like the stuff that he posts because 30 00:01:24,601 --> 00:01:26,761 Speaker 2: I feel like he takes it to that one level 31 00:01:26,801 --> 00:01:30,681 Speaker 2: deeper his page. He's great, he just has a deeper context. 32 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,521 Speaker 2: He talks about ego work, he talks about shadows, the 33 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,401 Speaker 2: unconscious desires, and it's all stuff that I really enjoy 34 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,081 Speaker 2: talking about when it comes to relationship dynamics. And I 35 00:01:39,121 --> 00:01:41,441 Speaker 2: always find I'm reading his posts and stuff and I'm 36 00:01:41,481 --> 00:01:44,041 Speaker 2: reflecting on myself and how it shows up, and it 37 00:01:44,081 --> 00:01:48,041 Speaker 2: really does feel it's not surface level personal development, and 38 00:01:48,081 --> 00:01:50,921 Speaker 2: I really really like it. So his Instagram name is 39 00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:55,121 Speaker 2: q U E N t I N dot G dot 40 00:01:55,361 --> 00:01:57,081 Speaker 2: dec a MP. 41 00:01:57,561 --> 00:02:00,961 Speaker 1: I feel like you absolutely love him amazing. My share 42 00:02:00,961 --> 00:02:04,521 Speaker 1: of the week is just to try something new or 43 00:02:04,761 --> 00:02:06,481 Speaker 1: do something I used to do when you were younger 44 00:02:06,481 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 1: that brings you a lot of joy love. I've done 45 00:02:08,601 --> 00:02:11,201 Speaker 1: Hills dance classes for a while now, but the dance 46 00:02:11,201 --> 00:02:13,881 Speaker 1: that I truly truly loved doing is like contemporary, lyrical 47 00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:16,281 Speaker 1: or jazz. I did it growing up, even tap dancing. 48 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,520 Speaker 1: Never was good at hip hop, but I've been wanting 49 00:02:18,561 --> 00:02:20,241 Speaker 1: to get back into it, but my ego just got 50 00:02:20,281 --> 00:02:22,641 Speaker 1: in the way. And when I was younger, not toot 51 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 1: my own horn. But I used to be quite good, 52 00:02:24,641 --> 00:02:26,881 Speaker 1: and I was always like chosen for the front, for 53 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,561 Speaker 1: the center, did a lot of solos. I've just was competitive. 54 00:02:29,601 --> 00:02:32,361 Speaker 1: I loved it so fast forward twenty years. I haven't 55 00:02:32,441 --> 00:02:34,561 Speaker 1: danced before. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm not 56 00:02:34,601 --> 00:02:36,361 Speaker 1: going to be good at this. And when I was 57 00:02:36,401 --> 00:02:39,721 Speaker 1: younger and quote unquote old moms used to come in 58 00:02:39,761 --> 00:02:42,761 Speaker 1: casually to my classes. I hated it because I'd slow 59 00:02:42,841 --> 00:02:45,601 Speaker 1: us down. I was like, oh my god, like, you know, 60 00:02:45,601 --> 00:02:47,081 Speaker 1: we got to go of the same routine over and 61 00:02:47,121 --> 00:02:48,881 Speaker 1: over again because I hadn't quite got it. And now 62 00:02:48,921 --> 00:02:50,881 Speaker 1: I'm that mum. So I was like, I'm not going 63 00:02:50,881 --> 00:02:53,081 Speaker 1: to be that mum and throp these girls classes and 64 00:02:53,081 --> 00:02:53,680 Speaker 1: slow them down. 65 00:02:53,761 --> 00:02:54,041 Speaker 2: Yeah. 66 00:02:54,121 --> 00:02:56,041 Speaker 1: So I have this full story because I was a 67 00:02:56,081 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 1: judgment a little bit obviously when I was younger, and 68 00:03:00,001 --> 00:03:02,681 Speaker 1: then I just decided to book a private lesson and 69 00:03:02,721 --> 00:03:04,800 Speaker 1: I have not looked back. I love it so much 70 00:03:05,321 --> 00:03:08,520 Speaker 1: a song. I'm doing like a contemporary lyrical routine. My 71 00:03:08,641 --> 00:03:10,881 Speaker 1: routine is like nearly two minutes long. I have never 72 00:03:11,001 --> 00:03:13,961 Speaker 1: been so puffed in my life. I'ven't been so humbled. 73 00:03:14,921 --> 00:03:17,121 Speaker 1: Even like flexibility. We do this massive warm up at 74 00:03:17,121 --> 00:03:19,240 Speaker 1: the start, and it's so nice just stretch how I 75 00:03:19,321 --> 00:03:21,881 Speaker 1: used to stretch and get my flexibility back, and just 76 00:03:21,921 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: really push and challenge myself, get rid of the story 77 00:03:24,881 --> 00:03:26,881 Speaker 1: that I'm too old, that my body can't do it, 78 00:03:27,001 --> 00:03:28,240 Speaker 1: that I won't be able to pick up the moves, 79 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:29,641 Speaker 1: that I won't be able to remember. Like all these 80 00:03:29,641 --> 00:03:32,161 Speaker 1: stories were coming to me, and I really pushed through 81 00:03:32,161 --> 00:03:33,841 Speaker 1: and show myself that I can do it. And I've 82 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:37,761 Speaker 1: gotten so much joy out of it. I feel so feminine, playful, 83 00:03:37,841 --> 00:03:40,721 Speaker 1: fun present. Just to move like that, it's just it's 84 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:43,281 Speaker 1: a really beautiful way to express. So I'm really really 85 00:03:43,321 --> 00:03:45,201 Speaker 1: happy I did that. And I've shared my journey on 86 00:03:45,241 --> 00:03:47,641 Speaker 1: social media. One for me to look back on. I've 87 00:03:47,641 --> 00:03:49,321 Speaker 1: made a little highlight so I can look back on it. 88 00:03:49,561 --> 00:03:51,681 Speaker 1: But two, I was just really hoping that someone else 89 00:03:51,721 --> 00:03:53,961 Speaker 1: that was feeling like I was feeling gets inspired to 90 00:03:53,961 --> 00:03:56,841 Speaker 1: put a dance class. And so many have it's really cool. 91 00:03:56,841 --> 00:03:58,561 Speaker 1: I've had so many smile It's been like, oh my gosh, 92 00:03:58,641 --> 00:04:00,441 Speaker 1: i finally booked in my dance class and I'm going 93 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:02,241 Speaker 1: to hip up again and thank you for inspiring me. 94 00:04:02,281 --> 00:04:04,041 Speaker 1: If you can do it, I can do it. Especially 95 00:04:04,041 --> 00:04:05,361 Speaker 1: as a mum I've had two kids. It's like my 96 00:04:05,401 --> 00:04:07,721 Speaker 1: body definitely doesn't work how it used to work when 97 00:04:07,761 --> 00:04:11,201 Speaker 1: I was a teenager. But I've loved it. It's so 98 00:04:11,241 --> 00:04:13,201 Speaker 1: cool and I'm just like pushing myself to a point 99 00:04:13,201 --> 00:04:15,601 Speaker 1: that feels really good but still feels really challenging. Yeah, 100 00:04:15,681 --> 00:04:17,201 Speaker 1: I'm encouraging you to go and do that. 101 00:04:17,201 --> 00:04:20,881 Speaker 2: That's so beautiful. Yeah, like watching your journey and like, oh, I. 102 00:04:20,841 --> 00:04:25,241 Speaker 1: Love it so much. Social media. Social media is an 103 00:04:25,281 --> 00:04:28,961 Speaker 1: interesting place to be. I love it so much. There's 104 00:04:28,961 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 1: so much we can learn, there's so much that we 105 00:04:30,681 --> 00:04:33,481 Speaker 1: can connect with. There's so many opportunities on social media. 106 00:04:33,521 --> 00:04:36,241 Speaker 1: Like it really has a lot of pros to it, 107 00:04:36,721 --> 00:04:38,921 Speaker 1: and it also has a darker side, and it also 108 00:04:39,001 --> 00:04:41,841 Speaker 1: can negatively impact a lot of people's mental health. It's 109 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,561 Speaker 1: also a really big distraction. It's also a way that 110 00:04:44,561 --> 00:04:47,001 Speaker 1: people numb out and try and escape from how they're feeling. 111 00:04:47,081 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 1: And I know because I've done that before. You know, 112 00:04:49,401 --> 00:04:51,161 Speaker 1: when I'm feeling something really heavy, I don't want to 113 00:04:51,161 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: feel it's so easy to quickly jump on and have 114 00:04:52,921 --> 00:04:55,281 Speaker 1: a quick open in here. I'll watch some funny videos 115 00:04:55,481 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 1: or just scroll. An hour later, I'm like, what the 116 00:04:57,921 --> 00:04:59,721 Speaker 1: fuck did I just watch? But I kind of forgot 117 00:04:59,761 --> 00:05:02,281 Speaker 1: how it's feeling, you know. So we want to talk 118 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,481 Speaker 1: about what we do to keep a healthy relationship social 119 00:05:05,561 --> 00:05:08,561 Speaker 1: media and what we advise you guys to take on 120 00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:09,241 Speaker 1: board as well. 121 00:05:09,401 --> 00:05:11,561 Speaker 2: Absolutely, don't be a troll. 122 00:05:13,001 --> 00:05:14,961 Speaker 1: One. Yes, don't be a curry. 123 00:05:15,001 --> 00:05:17,161 Speaker 2: It wasn't on the list, but I've just decided in 124 00:05:17,161 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 2: this moment, going on really good one. 125 00:05:18,841 --> 00:05:21,001 Speaker 1: If you don't like something, guess what you can unfollow? 126 00:05:21,161 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 1: Do you know that you don't have to engage with 127 00:05:22,801 --> 00:05:25,281 Speaker 1: someone you don't make It's like a TV show, right, 128 00:05:25,521 --> 00:05:27,721 Speaker 1: If you are flicking through the channels and you find 129 00:05:27,721 --> 00:05:29,041 Speaker 1: a show that you don't like, what do you do? 130 00:05:29,361 --> 00:05:31,321 Speaker 1: You don't sit there screaming at the TV telling as 131 00:05:31,361 --> 00:05:33,641 Speaker 1: she's a fat, ugly duckling. 132 00:05:33,561 --> 00:05:34,481 Speaker 2: Leaving a bad review. 133 00:05:35,081 --> 00:05:38,481 Speaker 1: No, you literally scroll onto the next channel. Channel Seven's 134 00:05:38,481 --> 00:05:39,761 Speaker 1: on it. For me, I'm going to go into channel 135 00:05:39,801 --> 00:05:41,841 Speaker 1: nine Foxtel doesn't have it. I'm going to go and 136 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,241 Speaker 1: to stand. Oh I don't like that, I'll go to Netflix. 137 00:05:44,281 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: He's true. 138 00:05:44,641 --> 00:05:45,401 Speaker 2: Along, its true. 139 00:05:45,481 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 1: Do that on social media. Don't like something, you don't 140 00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:49,041 Speaker 1: have to comment, Just keep going. No, no one cares. 141 00:05:49,121 --> 00:05:51,001 Speaker 2: Leave it along, No one cares. 142 00:05:51,201 --> 00:05:52,921 Speaker 1: You don't have to announce your departure. You're not at 143 00:05:52,921 --> 00:05:53,401 Speaker 1: an airport. 144 00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:55,721 Speaker 2: No, you know what it is. I think like it's 145 00:05:55,761 --> 00:05:58,081 Speaker 2: a choice in what kind of energy that you leave 146 00:05:58,081 --> 00:06:00,361 Speaker 2: in the world. Yes, and by you choosing to leave 147 00:06:00,521 --> 00:06:02,841 Speaker 2: like negative comments, and even if it is innocent and 148 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,561 Speaker 2: you don't mean to you and you're just pushing back 149 00:06:04,561 --> 00:06:06,601 Speaker 2: on somebody because you want to have an opinion. Amazing, 150 00:06:06,641 --> 00:06:08,841 Speaker 2: that's so fine. You're choosing what you're going to put 151 00:06:08,841 --> 00:06:10,401 Speaker 2: out there. And if you're choosing to put out in negativity, 152 00:06:10,401 --> 00:06:12,241 Speaker 2: you're only going to get it back because you're choosing 153 00:06:12,281 --> 00:06:14,640 Speaker 2: to engage in that. And like you're making that a 154 00:06:14,681 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 2: part of your day. Yeah, and you only have so 155 00:06:16,681 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 2: many hours in the day, and like you're going to 156 00:06:18,241 --> 00:06:20,841 Speaker 2: make being negative or like having an opinion on somebody's 157 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,080 Speaker 2: life that you don't know. I just think it's not 158 00:06:24,201 --> 00:06:25,841 Speaker 2: a productive way to spend your time. 159 00:06:25,961 --> 00:06:27,801 Speaker 1: I just don't understand it. No, you don't have to 160 00:06:27,801 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 1: insert your opinion on every Tom, Dick and Harry on 161 00:06:30,481 --> 00:06:30,761 Speaker 1: social No. 162 00:06:30,841 --> 00:06:32,201 Speaker 2: No, it's like, if you don't have anything nice to say, 163 00:06:32,241 --> 00:06:34,281 Speaker 2: don't say it at all. Literally, Like my mama taught 164 00:06:34,281 --> 00:06:36,320 Speaker 2: me that. I think every parent tells the kids that. 165 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,521 Speaker 2: But here we have grown adults making fake profiles to 166 00:06:38,521 --> 00:06:39,201 Speaker 2: come on a trail. 167 00:06:39,281 --> 00:06:39,481 Speaker 1: Yeah. 168 00:06:39,681 --> 00:06:41,601 Speaker 2: That's the thing. When I look at this, I'm like, 169 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,641 Speaker 2: if you couldn't handle those consequences of doing that to 170 00:06:44,681 --> 00:06:46,640 Speaker 2: somebody's face, why are you doing it online? 171 00:06:46,721 --> 00:06:46,921 Speaker 1: Yeah? 172 00:06:46,921 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 2: But that's the thing. People don't have the consequences of 173 00:06:49,281 --> 00:06:52,521 Speaker 2: the repercussions of their behavior because they are not looking 174 00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 2: that person in the eyes. And if they did, or 175 00:06:54,241 --> 00:06:57,161 Speaker 2: if they're peers, this is the biggest thing. If your 176 00:06:57,281 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 2: peers were watching it. I know, if you're listening to this, 177 00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:02,881 Speaker 2: you don't do this anyway, But if your peers were 178 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 2: watching you as you were writing these comments on people stories, 179 00:07:05,801 --> 00:07:07,561 Speaker 2: do you think that you would have any friends left? 180 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 2: Or do you think that the people who loved you 181 00:07:09,481 --> 00:07:11,681 Speaker 2: would be proud of you for your behavior? Because if 182 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,041 Speaker 2: you would feel ashamed of that, you absolutely should not 183 00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:14,521 Speaker 2: be doing that. 184 00:07:14,681 --> 00:07:16,601 Speaker 1: Yeah, I told you something I told you a little 185 00:07:16,601 --> 00:07:19,561 Speaker 1: while ago. Yeah, years ago, when me and a group 186 00:07:19,561 --> 00:07:23,201 Speaker 1: of girlfriends were getting severely told, I actually took it 187 00:07:23,201 --> 00:07:25,761 Speaker 1: into my own hands. And there was a continuous couple 188 00:07:25,761 --> 00:07:29,041 Speaker 1: of girls that just were relentless, and we had their names, 189 00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:31,161 Speaker 1: and I decided to find out if they had husbands 190 00:07:31,241 --> 00:07:33,121 Speaker 1: or where they worked. And I reached out to their 191 00:07:33,121 --> 00:07:35,801 Speaker 1: workplace and I sent screenshots of what they were saying 192 00:07:35,841 --> 00:07:37,121 Speaker 1: to me. It's what the same to other women, what 193 00:07:37,121 --> 00:07:39,121 Speaker 1: they're saying in hate pages. And I said, think you 194 00:07:39,121 --> 00:07:40,601 Speaker 1: should know that you've got a bully working for you. 195 00:07:40,641 --> 00:07:41,761 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I love that. 196 00:07:42,121 --> 00:07:43,641 Speaker 1: I called it a husband. I said, I'm not sure 197 00:07:43,641 --> 00:07:46,441 Speaker 1: if you're aware of your wife. Her name is, she's 198 00:07:46,481 --> 00:07:48,441 Speaker 1: involved in this hate page? Have you heard of this page? 199 00:07:48,481 --> 00:07:49,481 Speaker 1: And he was mortified. 200 00:07:49,481 --> 00:07:50,521 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I could imagine. 201 00:07:50,561 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 1: It was like, are you kidding? I am so sorry. 202 00:07:52,801 --> 00:07:55,281 Speaker 1: We have young daughters, like I can't, like, what can 203 00:07:55,321 --> 00:07:56,721 Speaker 1: you send me this? Like as soon as she gets 204 00:07:56,721 --> 00:07:58,321 Speaker 1: home tonight from work and be talking her about this? 205 00:07:58,801 --> 00:08:00,841 Speaker 1: Because I was like, you exactly that you would not 206 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,201 Speaker 1: do that in front of your kids or in front 207 00:08:02,201 --> 00:08:04,681 Speaker 1: of your husband. Why not hiding behind the screen in 208 00:08:04,681 --> 00:08:07,521 Speaker 1: your face profile when your husband's not looking. I love it, baby, 209 00:08:07,601 --> 00:08:10,121 Speaker 1: that's that's sexy. It's not cute. It's not kind. Do better, 210 00:08:10,361 --> 00:08:12,761 Speaker 1: do better, do better. They did a handful of them, 211 00:08:12,801 --> 00:08:14,721 Speaker 1: but I was like, I don't know. Oh my god, 212 00:08:14,801 --> 00:08:15,641 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do that from now. 213 00:08:15,681 --> 00:08:15,801 Speaker 2: No. 214 00:08:15,881 --> 00:08:17,361 Speaker 1: I just felt like, I don't know. I want to 215 00:08:17,361 --> 00:08:19,521 Speaker 1: take things to my own hands. There was no consequences, 216 00:08:19,681 --> 00:08:21,081 Speaker 1: and so you fucking should. 217 00:08:21,361 --> 00:08:23,881 Speaker 2: Like there's such an expectation online and I've seen it, 218 00:08:24,121 --> 00:08:27,681 Speaker 2: not necessarily experienced it myself. But if you push back, 219 00:08:28,081 --> 00:08:30,121 Speaker 2: then it's like you're the problem. I know. Oh my god, 220 00:08:30,121 --> 00:08:32,601 Speaker 2: why are you entertaining it? Why are you're doing this? Actually, no, 221 00:08:32,641 --> 00:08:34,881 Speaker 2: we did. We got this for she rises. Why are 222 00:08:34,921 --> 00:08:36,201 Speaker 2: you doing that? Why are you entertaining this? 223 00:08:36,321 --> 00:08:37,561 Speaker 1: I'm like, you're just as bad as them. 224 00:08:37,641 --> 00:08:42,121 Speaker 2: I don't understand because you've never experienced a firsthand. I 225 00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:44,761 Speaker 2: think it's bullshit. I think it's bullshit. I love that 226 00:08:44,801 --> 00:08:46,641 Speaker 2: you did that, Love that you stood off yourself and 227 00:08:46,761 --> 00:08:49,921 Speaker 2: took control of that situation because the reality is people 228 00:08:50,001 --> 00:08:53,481 Speaker 2: don't have any consequences and nothing actually gets done about it. 229 00:08:53,521 --> 00:08:55,681 Speaker 2: Because even if you give it to authorities or whatever. 230 00:08:55,921 --> 00:08:58,121 Speaker 2: They didn't take it so seriously, but the moment they 231 00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:00,201 Speaker 2: feel shame about their behavior, which is what they would 232 00:09:00,241 --> 00:09:02,561 Speaker 2: have experienced when you told their husbands in their workplace. 233 00:09:02,921 --> 00:09:05,561 Speaker 2: They now have real consequences for being a And. 234 00:09:05,521 --> 00:09:06,881 Speaker 1: I never heard from those girls again. 235 00:09:07,001 --> 00:09:08,201 Speaker 2: Yeah, amazing, never ever. 236 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:10,121 Speaker 1: And you know what, as a company owner with many 237 00:09:10,121 --> 00:09:12,161 Speaker 1: a staff, if one of my staff members was on 238 00:09:12,201 --> 00:09:15,721 Speaker 1: a troll page trolling on someone online, I would one 239 00:09:15,841 --> 00:09:18,041 Speaker 1: hundredercent want to know like that, you're not representing my 240 00:09:18,041 --> 00:09:20,801 Speaker 1: company to me. That is not the culture that I'm 241 00:09:20,841 --> 00:09:23,161 Speaker 1: having within my business, like, absolutely not. I would not 242 00:09:23,201 --> 00:09:23,721 Speaker 1: stand for that. 243 00:09:23,761 --> 00:09:24,241 Speaker 2: Absolutely. 244 00:09:24,321 --> 00:09:26,761 Speaker 1: Do people think that they're just words? No, no, no, Words 245 00:09:26,801 --> 00:09:29,361 Speaker 1: can kill. Words can be the last thing that person 246 00:09:29,601 --> 00:09:32,241 Speaker 1: hears or reads before they decide they've had enough. I'm 247 00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,841 Speaker 1: not going to stand for that, you know. So another 248 00:09:34,881 --> 00:09:38,921 Speaker 1: thing that we really recommend doing is go through who 249 00:09:38,961 --> 00:09:41,041 Speaker 1: you're following. I do this often, did the other day 250 00:09:41,041 --> 00:09:42,841 Speaker 1: and unfollowed another twenty people that I just am not 251 00:09:42,881 --> 00:09:45,041 Speaker 1: really interacting with or maybe don't resonate with their content 252 00:09:45,041 --> 00:09:47,801 Speaker 1: and maybe I used to. Maybe they've changed the content 253 00:09:47,841 --> 00:09:50,081 Speaker 1: and I don't feel like it's nice, But go through 254 00:09:50,121 --> 00:09:53,041 Speaker 1: anyone that triggers you, Anyone that isn't empowering women, and 255 00:09:53,081 --> 00:09:55,321 Speaker 1: that doesn't bring you any value, doesn't motivate you and 256 00:09:55,401 --> 00:09:57,841 Speaker 1: entertain you, inspire you. Why are you following them? Why 257 00:09:57,841 --> 00:09:59,921 Speaker 1: are you taking that information in? It's like watching news 258 00:09:59,961 --> 00:10:02,441 Speaker 1: all the time. It's negative, sad shit all the time. Yeah, 259 00:10:02,481 --> 00:10:04,161 Speaker 1: that's not good for your nervous system. It's not good 260 00:10:04,201 --> 00:10:06,001 Speaker 1: for your brain. It's not good for your emotional well 261 00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:08,881 Speaker 1: being because how you feel in your energetic state, that 262 00:10:08,921 --> 00:10:11,881 Speaker 1: then flows over to the people around you and it 263 00:10:11,921 --> 00:10:14,321 Speaker 1: impacts everything in your life. So just check in who 264 00:10:14,321 --> 00:10:16,121 Speaker 1: you're following. Like, most of the pages I follow are 265 00:10:16,121 --> 00:10:18,961 Speaker 1: friends and family, and then it's parenting pages, it's star 266 00:10:19,081 --> 00:10:23,081 Speaker 1: signs of assistant regulation, it's coaches, it's when I have 267 00:10:23,121 --> 00:10:26,441 Speaker 1: a scroll. It's actually quite healthy for me, preductive, it's productive. 268 00:10:26,521 --> 00:10:28,681 Speaker 1: I'm learning so much. I'm sending something to Steve and like, 269 00:10:28,721 --> 00:10:30,361 Speaker 1: oh my god, let's talk about this with the kids, 270 00:10:30,441 --> 00:10:32,801 Speaker 1: or Wow, let's implement this in our relationship, or we'll 271 00:10:32,801 --> 00:10:34,201 Speaker 1: send each other something like oh god, this is a 272 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:36,841 Speaker 1: great idea for she rises, or maybe it's just something funny. 273 00:10:36,841 --> 00:10:38,041 Speaker 1: I'm like, I know you're having a shit day. 274 00:10:38,121 --> 00:10:39,641 Speaker 2: Watch this, Yeah, you know that. 275 00:10:39,721 --> 00:10:41,521 Speaker 1: I think it can be really beautiful. But just go 276 00:10:41,601 --> 00:10:44,441 Speaker 1: through your following list and have a look. Does this 277 00:10:44,481 --> 00:10:46,681 Speaker 1: person align with me now? Maybe it did two years ago, 278 00:10:46,721 --> 00:10:49,401 Speaker 1: maybe doesn't. Now, it's okay for you to click on follow. Yeah, 279 00:10:49,521 --> 00:10:51,721 Speaker 1: you're not murdering someone. You're just clicking on follow. It's 280 00:10:51,721 --> 00:10:52,161 Speaker 1: not that deep. 281 00:10:52,201 --> 00:10:53,761 Speaker 2: There's a lot of fear around that. There's a lot 282 00:10:53,801 --> 00:10:57,801 Speaker 2: of fear controversy almost sure. Yeah, but you don't know 283 00:10:57,881 --> 00:11:00,201 Speaker 2: anybody anything, and following someone on social media does not 284 00:11:00,241 --> 00:11:01,881 Speaker 2: mean that you're unfriending them in real life. It just 285 00:11:01,881 --> 00:11:04,201 Speaker 2: means not choosing to consume their content. Yes, and I 286 00:11:04,241 --> 00:11:06,201 Speaker 2: get it, like in in our day and age, it 287 00:11:06,241 --> 00:11:08,281 Speaker 2: is a way for you to feel plugged into somebody. Yeah, 288 00:11:08,321 --> 00:11:11,361 Speaker 2: and it's almost like energetically unplugging from that person. But 289 00:11:11,401 --> 00:11:13,361 Speaker 2: if you want to go see them, just message them 290 00:11:13,401 --> 00:11:14,921 Speaker 2: for sure. And if you're going to unfollow them, you're 291 00:11:14,961 --> 00:11:17,321 Speaker 2: likely not gonna do that anyway exactly. I mean, if 292 00:11:17,321 --> 00:11:18,841 Speaker 2: you want to follow them and you're not following them 293 00:11:18,841 --> 00:11:21,201 Speaker 2: to watch their life, feel likely not in their life anyway. 294 00:11:21,361 --> 00:11:23,761 Speaker 2: So what's the difference between you unfollowing them on for sure? 295 00:11:24,041 --> 00:11:26,241 Speaker 2: I think it's really important what it is you feed yourself, 296 00:11:26,721 --> 00:11:29,721 Speaker 2: and if you are consuming content that upsets you, bothers you, 297 00:11:29,841 --> 00:11:32,561 Speaker 2: or that you're consuming and you have conflict inside, we're 298 00:11:32,601 --> 00:11:34,601 Speaker 2: like this doesn't align with where I want to go, 299 00:11:34,721 --> 00:11:36,721 Speaker 2: or what I'm trying to create for myself, or even 300 00:11:36,721 --> 00:11:38,081 Speaker 2: what feels nice to do. 301 00:11:38,361 --> 00:11:41,521 Speaker 1: Yeah, let it go. Yeah, be unfollowing list and do 302 00:11:41,561 --> 00:11:44,121 Speaker 1: this often, like you're allowed to clean out your list often. 303 00:11:44,281 --> 00:11:46,321 Speaker 1: I used to follow thousands of people. Now I always 304 00:11:46,321 --> 00:11:49,001 Speaker 1: try and keep it under five hundred, but I'll I 305 00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:50,961 Speaker 1: think yours is even less. You're like two hundred or something. 306 00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:53,481 Speaker 2: You know. I used to follow like two thousand people. 307 00:11:53,641 --> 00:11:54,481 Speaker 1: Yeah, same babe. 308 00:11:54,561 --> 00:11:57,001 Speaker 2: Yeah. And I went on a massive unfollowing spree because 309 00:11:57,001 --> 00:12:00,041 Speaker 2: I would scroll and I wouldn't even recognize the people 310 00:12:00,081 --> 00:12:00,561 Speaker 2: in my feet. 311 00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:02,321 Speaker 1: And I was like, why do I think you're just 312 00:12:02,361 --> 00:12:02,921 Speaker 1: wasting time? 313 00:12:03,361 --> 00:12:05,721 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like scroll and I could groll forever. 314 00:12:05,721 --> 00:12:08,761 Speaker 2: I remember, I remember the moment and then just being 315 00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:10,881 Speaker 2: like no, and I just remember culling over the next 316 00:12:10,921 --> 00:12:13,161 Speaker 2: month and then yeah, yeah, doesn't go any higher than 317 00:12:13,161 --> 00:12:19,001 Speaker 2: like two fifty. Yeah. Another don't is not to consume 318 00:12:19,961 --> 00:12:23,001 Speaker 2: when you're feeling like insecure, lonely, or disconnected. 319 00:12:23,321 --> 00:12:24,161 Speaker 1: That's such a good one. 320 00:12:24,441 --> 00:12:26,641 Speaker 2: I think this is a big one only because and 321 00:12:26,681 --> 00:12:28,961 Speaker 2: I know that easier said than done, right. I am 322 00:12:29,161 --> 00:12:31,881 Speaker 2: also someone who has doomscrolled, and sometimes does when I 323 00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:34,721 Speaker 2: feel disconnected or dissociated or like I'm, you know, trying 324 00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:38,001 Speaker 2: to get those dopamine hits. But when you're feeling lonely 325 00:12:38,081 --> 00:12:40,361 Speaker 2: and insecure, I think, like, it's so much easier to 326 00:12:40,361 --> 00:12:43,921 Speaker 2: feed those negative feedback loops. Yeah, and the thoughts about yourself. 327 00:12:43,961 --> 00:12:46,361 Speaker 2: You'll find evidence to confirm me your stories too. 328 00:12:46,521 --> 00:12:46,761 Speaker 1: Yeah. 329 00:12:46,801 --> 00:12:48,561 Speaker 2: Like, if you're already feeling shit about yourself and you 330 00:12:48,681 --> 00:12:50,441 Speaker 2: go on social media and the first thing you see 331 00:12:50,481 --> 00:12:52,801 Speaker 2: is a woman who looks the way that you want 332 00:12:52,841 --> 00:12:54,761 Speaker 2: to look and you have for the last five years, 333 00:12:55,281 --> 00:12:57,681 Speaker 2: immediately you're going to make yourself feel terrible about that 334 00:12:58,441 --> 00:13:00,881 Speaker 2: or is something someone's doing. I have a client of mine, 335 00:13:00,921 --> 00:13:04,241 Speaker 2: actually a beautiful human, and she gets really triggered by 336 00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:07,481 Speaker 2: people's success, and she's like, I cannot open my social 337 00:13:07,481 --> 00:13:09,881 Speaker 2: media right now with how I feel right now because 338 00:13:09,921 --> 00:13:11,921 Speaker 2: of how triggered I get. I cannot see one thing 339 00:13:11,961 --> 00:13:15,521 Speaker 2: of success because it's highlighting for her. Really what she wants, 340 00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:18,041 Speaker 2: but the moment that she's feeling disregulated, she'll go on 341 00:13:18,081 --> 00:13:20,601 Speaker 2: there and then she spirals, you know, and so like, 342 00:13:20,681 --> 00:13:23,841 Speaker 2: whilst it's such a natural behavior, it's like, can you 343 00:13:23,921 --> 00:13:26,601 Speaker 2: have some boundaries with yourself if you're not feeling good, 344 00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:28,401 Speaker 2: go This is actually isn't the time for me to 345 00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:31,001 Speaker 2: go on social media. This is the time for me 346 00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:33,841 Speaker 2: to find something outside of being on a screen to 347 00:13:34,001 --> 00:13:36,921 Speaker 2: regulate myself and then come back to baseline before I 348 00:13:37,001 --> 00:13:37,601 Speaker 2: jump on there. 349 00:13:37,681 --> 00:13:39,401 Speaker 1: And the algorithms smart too. If you click on that 350 00:13:39,481 --> 00:13:41,401 Speaker 1: one profile and you're looking at this girl's reel where 351 00:13:41,441 --> 00:13:43,481 Speaker 1: she looks amazing and fit, whatever. If you stay on 352 00:13:43,521 --> 00:13:45,601 Speaker 1: that real long enough and you read a caption you're engaging, 353 00:13:45,881 --> 00:13:47,401 Speaker 1: guess what your next ten posts are going to be 354 00:13:47,801 --> 00:13:51,481 Speaker 1: hot women in similar outfits just like that. Yeah, exactly, 355 00:13:51,521 --> 00:13:54,281 Speaker 1: Your algorithm freaking knows that all your four year pages, 356 00:13:54,281 --> 00:13:55,561 Speaker 1: all these beautiful women and. 357 00:13:55,521 --> 00:13:57,441 Speaker 2: All of a sudd you look me in your botox 358 00:13:57,481 --> 00:14:01,561 Speaker 2: and you're getting like posuption. But in reality, like. 359 00:14:01,721 --> 00:14:04,481 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's tring all of that for sure, that's true. 360 00:14:04,561 --> 00:14:07,241 Speaker 1: So something I do encourage and it kind of falls 361 00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:09,121 Speaker 1: on the back of what I just said about unfollowing 362 00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:12,521 Speaker 1: is to follow accounts that help you grow and help 363 00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:14,561 Speaker 1: you see things from a new perspective, or they're on 364 00:14:14,841 --> 00:14:17,121 Speaker 1: topics that you want to learn about. Like I love 365 00:14:17,161 --> 00:14:19,761 Speaker 1: following relationship coaches and experts. I don't care about the 366 00:14:19,801 --> 00:14:22,121 Speaker 1: qualification if I love their content and I'm getting something 367 00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:24,561 Speaker 1: back from that and I'm learning and growing and finding 368 00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:27,281 Speaker 1: news ways that I can improve my relationship. I love that. Yeah, 369 00:14:27,281 --> 00:14:28,921 Speaker 1: so I follow. If you went through my following list, 370 00:14:28,921 --> 00:14:31,441 Speaker 1: there's a lot of relationship coaches on there. So follow 371 00:14:31,481 --> 00:14:33,281 Speaker 1: people that make you feel good that you're growing and 372 00:14:33,281 --> 00:14:34,841 Speaker 1: getting something out of so you're not just stuck in 373 00:14:34,881 --> 00:14:36,761 Speaker 1: a doom scroll where you feel guilty about just having 374 00:14:36,761 --> 00:14:39,721 Speaker 1: screen time. Make it productive. Love that. So I love 375 00:14:39,761 --> 00:14:41,481 Speaker 1: having a scroll. I do because I know now the 376 00:14:41,521 --> 00:14:43,521 Speaker 1: pages that I'm scrolling, what's coming up? Is it for me? 377 00:14:43,681 --> 00:14:44,281 Speaker 2: Oh? I love that? 378 00:14:44,521 --> 00:14:45,041 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. 379 00:14:45,041 --> 00:14:46,601 Speaker 2: When you actually get the benefit out of being on 380 00:14:46,641 --> 00:14:48,201 Speaker 2: social media, it's not just like numbing. 381 00:14:48,361 --> 00:14:51,441 Speaker 1: No, TikTok's a bit left right and center because algorithms different. 382 00:14:51,481 --> 00:14:54,281 Speaker 1: But Instagram you're more getting what you've clicked on and 383 00:14:54,321 --> 00:14:54,881 Speaker 1: what you follow. 384 00:14:55,001 --> 00:14:57,561 Speaker 2: I feel like TikTok is the same. Oh really, Yeah, 385 00:14:57,601 --> 00:14:59,561 Speaker 2: I feel other for you. Page sometimes can be a 386 00:14:59,561 --> 00:15:01,321 Speaker 2: bit weird, but like if you do it long enough 387 00:15:01,321 --> 00:15:03,241 Speaker 2: and you watch enough videos like the same way, the 388 00:15:03,281 --> 00:15:04,121 Speaker 2: same view will come up. 389 00:15:04,121 --> 00:15:05,841 Speaker 1: I think I scroll more on around these days. 390 00:15:05,921 --> 00:15:08,361 Speaker 2: Yeah, I's more just videos on there. 391 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:12,241 Speaker 1: Oh fuck me, guys. This Chrue hour you were just 392 00:15:12,241 --> 00:15:13,841 Speaker 1: seen as a little white tru hour. And the way 393 00:15:13,881 --> 00:15:17,041 Speaker 1: he laughs every pov. I was in Bali with you, 394 00:15:17,361 --> 00:15:19,841 Speaker 1: actually pissing myself. 395 00:15:19,561 --> 00:15:21,721 Speaker 2: Tackling sitting next to me. She couldn't stop. 396 00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:23,921 Speaker 1: Was so funny and I felt so annoying, So like, 397 00:15:24,001 --> 00:15:25,481 Speaker 1: just one more, just like. 398 00:15:25,401 --> 00:15:27,281 Speaker 2: What about this one and this one and this one? 399 00:15:27,321 --> 00:15:29,081 Speaker 2: She was like having her own experience. I'm like, I 400 00:15:29,121 --> 00:15:30,321 Speaker 2: love how much you're into as well. 401 00:15:30,361 --> 00:15:32,561 Speaker 1: I literally thought I was going to piss myself. Oh 402 00:15:32,881 --> 00:15:36,081 Speaker 1: so freaking funny. Anyways, next one, what's your next one? 403 00:15:36,601 --> 00:15:40,921 Speaker 2: I think another thing is not to scroll for seeing them. Yeah, 404 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:44,201 Speaker 2: I really, I definitely got into a habit of this 405 00:15:44,281 --> 00:15:46,441 Speaker 2: at one point. I don't do it now, but there 406 00:15:46,481 --> 00:15:48,041 Speaker 2: was a point where it was the first thing that 407 00:15:48,041 --> 00:15:49,681 Speaker 2: I would check, yeah, you know, and it was like 408 00:15:49,761 --> 00:15:51,241 Speaker 2: as soon as I would wake up, I'd be like 409 00:15:51,281 --> 00:15:53,601 Speaker 2: scrolling and checking my notifications and doing this and just 410 00:15:54,241 --> 00:15:56,521 Speaker 2: whilst I check my phone in the mornings, if it's 411 00:15:56,521 --> 00:15:59,441 Speaker 2: more like work related and stuff now, but prior it 412 00:15:59,481 --> 00:16:02,121 Speaker 2: almost like completely shifted my energy. If I had woken 413 00:16:02,201 --> 00:16:03,761 Speaker 2: up in a good mood and then I checked my phone, 414 00:16:03,801 --> 00:16:07,041 Speaker 2: it's almost like I feel more tired, i feel a 415 00:16:07,081 --> 00:16:10,201 Speaker 2: little bit slower, i feel a bit like a bit hazy. 416 00:16:11,201 --> 00:16:14,321 Speaker 2: And I'm like, all this beautiful energy and inspired energy 417 00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:15,601 Speaker 2: that I would have to wake up in the morning, 418 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,041 Speaker 2: make a coffee, go for a walk and do all 419 00:16:17,041 --> 00:16:19,241 Speaker 2: these things, I'm like now I'm a bit like ugh, 420 00:16:19,601 --> 00:16:21,961 Speaker 2: a bit like dowie, like a drange energy does makes 421 00:16:21,961 --> 00:16:23,681 Speaker 2: me feel a bit dumb. And the blue light too. 422 00:16:23,721 --> 00:16:25,521 Speaker 2: It's just not good first thing in the morning. It 423 00:16:25,601 --> 00:16:27,601 Speaker 2: just doesn't feel nice. Like, don't get me wrong, the 424 00:16:27,641 --> 00:16:29,401 Speaker 2: first thing that I wake up in the morning is 425 00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:33,761 Speaker 2: literally message ashy because like it's literally because we're every morning, 426 00:16:33,881 --> 00:16:36,241 Speaker 2: not morning, but the most mornings when we walk, yes, 427 00:16:36,321 --> 00:16:39,361 Speaker 2: it's like first thing, okay, cool, like so pick you up, yeah. 428 00:16:39,281 --> 00:16:39,921 Speaker 1: Left my house? 429 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,961 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know. But to sit and scroll, I just 430 00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:45,321 Speaker 2: feel like it completely changes your whole demeanor for the day. 431 00:16:45,441 --> 00:16:48,001 Speaker 2: And if you are really wanting to one get better 432 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:51,121 Speaker 2: quality of life. Yeah, be more productive, you know it's 433 00:16:51,121 --> 00:16:54,521 Speaker 2: actually yeah, more present, like be mindful of the choices 434 00:16:54,521 --> 00:16:56,081 Speaker 2: that you make in the first like thirty minutes. 435 00:16:56,121 --> 00:16:56,561 Speaker 1: I agree. 436 00:16:56,761 --> 00:16:58,601 Speaker 2: And it doesn't mean that you can't check your phone. 437 00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,801 Speaker 2: I'm not saying. I'm not saying put harsh rules on yourself. 438 00:17:00,801 --> 00:17:02,921 Speaker 2: And I'm just saying, like, even if it's just you 439 00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:04,681 Speaker 2: have a small routine that you do from the moment 440 00:17:04,721 --> 00:17:07,160 Speaker 2: you get out of bed, put the coffee kettle on, 441 00:17:07,281 --> 00:17:09,200 Speaker 2: or have a banana, or do you supplements or pressure 442 00:17:09,241 --> 00:17:11,081 Speaker 2: teeth and just like have a second to just take 443 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 2: a couple of breaths, it will change the whole trajectory 444 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,480 Speaker 2: of your day. And I really mean it, because like 445 00:17:16,561 --> 00:17:18,720 Speaker 2: I feel like it is night and day when I 446 00:17:18,761 --> 00:17:21,720 Speaker 2: do those two things, and I just can't stand that 447 00:17:21,721 --> 00:17:24,080 Speaker 2: feeling of like literally my phone making me feel dumb 448 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:25,480 Speaker 2: at four o'clock in the morning. 449 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,041 Speaker 1: Not nice. 450 00:17:27,441 --> 00:17:27,801 Speaker 2: Not nice. 451 00:17:27,961 --> 00:17:30,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I feel the same at nighttime. Yeah, I 452 00:17:30,241 --> 00:17:32,161 Speaker 1: could have a really really great day and then I'll 453 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,041 Speaker 1: see something on social media that's really truing it even 454 00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:35,360 Speaker 1: at the moment, Like I did it the other night 455 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,001 Speaker 1: and all this like Epstein stuff came up and I 456 00:17:37,041 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 1: just got stuck in this rabbit hole. And then I 457 00:17:39,201 --> 00:17:43,521 Speaker 1: felt so sad, so depressed, so helpless. I went and 458 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,561 Speaker 1: checked on Tala and Taj and I was like, oh 459 00:17:45,561 --> 00:17:48,161 Speaker 1: my god, what these children have been through from this 460 00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:50,921 Speaker 1: man and all these high up celebrities. And I was like, fuck, 461 00:17:50,921 --> 00:17:52,120 Speaker 1: why did I look at this before I'm about to 462 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:54,160 Speaker 1: go to bed. I had a really shit night sleep, 463 00:17:54,561 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 1: tossing and turning and wake up, and it was just 464 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,640 Speaker 1: it just wasn't good to put my brain into like stress, 465 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,600 Speaker 1: and I was on it was alert so high. Yeah, 466 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,281 Speaker 1: I think it's morning, and same with evening. I put 467 00:18:05,281 --> 00:18:07,321 Speaker 1: the fucking phone down. I have the best sleeps when 468 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,241 Speaker 1: I put my phone down and put a meditation on, 469 00:18:09,281 --> 00:18:11,960 Speaker 1: go straight to sleep. Yes, but it's a habit that 470 00:18:12,001 --> 00:18:15,281 Speaker 1: can easily get picked up on and it's hard to break. 471 00:18:15,481 --> 00:18:17,880 Speaker 2: I remember when I went through my breakup like a 472 00:18:17,921 --> 00:18:21,001 Speaker 2: while back, I leant towards that, Yeah, I was with this. 473 00:18:21,321 --> 00:18:24,441 Speaker 2: I was really good with my bedtime and my wake 474 00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:27,600 Speaker 2: up time, like so strict me to go, oh my god, 475 00:18:27,681 --> 00:18:29,400 Speaker 2: so strict, Like I would literally go to bed at 476 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,160 Speaker 2: seven o'clock. 477 00:18:29,921 --> 00:18:31,121 Speaker 1: And I was like that's crazy. 478 00:18:31,241 --> 00:18:33,001 Speaker 2: But I remember like being able to do that, and 479 00:18:33,041 --> 00:18:34,761 Speaker 2: I was like so proud of myself because I always 480 00:18:34,761 --> 00:18:36,360 Speaker 2: got a good night sleep prior tize sleep. And then 481 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,720 Speaker 2: I went through my breakup. I was like staying up 482 00:18:38,761 --> 00:18:41,080 Speaker 2: till like anywhere between like ten and twelve o'clock at 483 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,160 Speaker 2: night and like waking up at four o'clock, and it 484 00:18:43,281 --> 00:18:46,080 Speaker 2: just absolutely destroyed me. And it was because I was 485 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,400 Speaker 2: scrolling late at night, because like late at night would 486 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,001 Speaker 2: be the time where all of my emotions that I 487 00:18:51,041 --> 00:18:54,200 Speaker 2: had like compartmentalized or suppressed for the day so I 488 00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:56,080 Speaker 2: could get through the work day would literally come up 489 00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:58,041 Speaker 2: the moment I'd lie my head on the pillow and 490 00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,360 Speaker 2: then I'd be like, up, you feel this, Like right now, 491 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,761 Speaker 2: I don't have the capacity to feel this. And that's 492 00:19:02,801 --> 00:19:05,400 Speaker 2: like just the human in me being like that was 493 00:19:05,441 --> 00:19:07,601 Speaker 2: my way of coping at the time, and I just, yeah, 494 00:19:07,721 --> 00:19:10,480 Speaker 2: really struggled, so like I leant towards scrolling, And then 495 00:19:10,481 --> 00:19:11,801 Speaker 2: there was a time where we would both like call 496 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,561 Speaker 2: each other out on it, like no, we said that 497 00:19:13,561 --> 00:19:15,081 Speaker 2: we were going to do better on this, like let's 498 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 2: cut this shit out. 499 00:19:15,961 --> 00:19:19,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, And you were so tired already, like that just 500 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:21,321 Speaker 1: made you even more tired, so then you're like, fuck 501 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:25,041 Speaker 1: this one habit is now impacting how I work, how 502 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,001 Speaker 1: I train my energy. Like in my relationships, it was 503 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 1: just and that's when you were like, no, no more. 504 00:19:30,041 --> 00:19:32,801 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right, though, it does make you feel like, 505 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,200 Speaker 2: go into the night not feeling well rested, and then 506 00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:36,521 Speaker 2: you wake up in the morning and it's like a 507 00:19:36,561 --> 00:19:37,281 Speaker 2: flow on effect. 508 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,240 Speaker 1: Even that the blue light of your phone is going 509 00:19:39,321 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 1: to affect your cicadian rhythm and your melotonin levels, like 510 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:46,440 Speaker 1: it's scientifically proven. I actually bought these really fucking ugly 511 00:19:46,481 --> 00:19:48,721 Speaker 1: glasses so if I'm ever on my phone, like lately, 512 00:19:48,761 --> 00:19:50,401 Speaker 1: I've been editing at night because I'm with the kids 513 00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:52,241 Speaker 1: during the afternoon evening and that's the only time i 514 00:19:52,281 --> 00:19:54,160 Speaker 1: can edit. Yeah, because I'm at work, I'm filming and 515 00:19:54,241 --> 00:19:56,721 Speaker 1: with staff meetings da da DA, and my do list 516 00:19:56,801 --> 00:19:58,521 Speaker 1: at night, that's been my time when I'm doing it. 517 00:19:58,521 --> 00:19:59,081 Speaker 2: But I'm with these. 518 00:19:59,041 --> 00:20:01,360 Speaker 1: Glasses at least block out the blue light. But it's 519 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:05,200 Speaker 1: still it's not great. Yeah, not a good idea to do. Yes. 520 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,561 Speaker 1: Another one is if you find you feel more connected 521 00:20:09,561 --> 00:20:12,160 Speaker 1: to people online than you do with the people in 522 00:20:12,201 --> 00:20:15,281 Speaker 1: your real life. Massive alarm bells if you know more 523 00:20:15,321 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 1: about social media influences and what's going on in their life, 524 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 1: then you do your best friends and your family members 525 00:20:20,481 --> 00:20:23,281 Speaker 1: get the fuck off your phone. Yeah, that is not healthy. 526 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,441 Speaker 1: That is not good for you, for them, for anyone, 527 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:30,200 Speaker 1: real connection with your real circle is so important. No 528 00:20:30,241 --> 00:20:31,680 Speaker 1: phone should ever get in the way of that. 529 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:32,200 Speaker 2: Yeah. 530 00:20:32,241 --> 00:20:34,160 Speaker 1: So that's when I Yeah, if you ever feel like 531 00:20:34,201 --> 00:20:36,441 Speaker 1: that and you haven't been making the effort to reach 532 00:20:36,481 --> 00:20:38,120 Speaker 1: out to your loved ones, like change that. 533 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,761 Speaker 2: I love that. Yeah, that's not so far. 534 00:20:40,961 --> 00:20:41,801 Speaker 1: Yeah. 535 00:20:42,001 --> 00:20:44,161 Speaker 2: Something that I did with social media a really long 536 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:46,961 Speaker 2: time ago was something called a consumption fast. I saw 537 00:20:47,241 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 2: you told me about that. It was the coolest thing 538 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:50,761 Speaker 2: I saw it. I can't even I wish I knew 539 00:20:50,761 --> 00:20:52,960 Speaker 2: the name of the person I saw it from, But anyway, 540 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:54,960 Speaker 2: there was this person who followed somebody else who did 541 00:20:54,961 --> 00:20:57,041 Speaker 2: this thing called a consumption fast, and basically what it 542 00:20:57,120 --> 00:21:00,681 Speaker 2: is it was six weeks straight of no consuming. So 543 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 2: that meant like no consuming Instagram, social media, Facebook, TikTok, 544 00:21:05,521 --> 00:21:08,920 Speaker 2: snatch out, whatever fucking thing that you use. You could learn, 545 00:21:09,321 --> 00:21:10,561 Speaker 2: but only one thing at a time. 546 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:11,160 Speaker 1: That's nice. 547 00:21:11,241 --> 00:21:12,640 Speaker 2: So it was like you kind of create your own 548 00:21:12,681 --> 00:21:14,281 Speaker 2: rules around it. So say, for example, you can only 549 00:21:14,321 --> 00:21:16,160 Speaker 2: read one book at a time until you finish that 550 00:21:16,201 --> 00:21:18,760 Speaker 2: book and then you can start another out right, or 551 00:21:18,801 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 2: like you watch one podcast all the way through and 552 00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:23,041 Speaker 2: then you learn something else. But it's like you're trying 553 00:21:23,041 --> 00:21:26,281 Speaker 2: to really limit the amount of stuff that you're consuming. Anyway, 554 00:21:26,441 --> 00:21:28,561 Speaker 2: what you can do, though, is you can continue posting, 555 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,201 Speaker 2: so you post as normal. 556 00:21:30,761 --> 00:21:32,361 Speaker 1: But if your work is that, that's right. 557 00:21:32,441 --> 00:21:34,041 Speaker 2: And that's what I did because I was working at 558 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:37,321 Speaker 2: the time, So I muted everyone because only follow two 559 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:40,241 Speaker 2: hund people didn't take me that long. Yeah, muted everyone's stories, 560 00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:43,041 Speaker 2: muted everyone's post Not one post would come up in 561 00:21:43,041 --> 00:21:45,481 Speaker 2: my feet one of the ads. So I would post 562 00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:47,441 Speaker 2: every day like as if normal, post on my feet 563 00:21:47,481 --> 00:21:50,600 Speaker 2: as normal, get out of the app. I cannot tell 564 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,720 Speaker 2: you after seven days how lonely I felt lonely. Lonely 565 00:21:53,761 --> 00:21:57,041 Speaker 2: but a good thing. Okay, I felt lonely because I 566 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,680 Speaker 2: didn't realize how much I used social media to connect 567 00:21:59,721 --> 00:22:02,360 Speaker 2: with people without actually being in their lives. Yeah, we 568 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,761 Speaker 2: say so plugged in, But what it taught me After 569 00:22:04,801 --> 00:22:07,801 Speaker 2: seven days, I was like, I probably only talked to 570 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:11,041 Speaker 2: about three people, and I have to consciously call them 571 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,921 Speaker 2: to connect with them. I have to consciously text them 572 00:22:14,241 --> 00:22:16,000 Speaker 2: to be a part of their life. And what it 573 00:22:16,041 --> 00:22:18,801 Speaker 2: taught me one the biggest thing was that it helped 574 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,041 Speaker 2: me come into my own voice of not consuming everybody 575 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,200 Speaker 2: else that I morphed into everybody else. It helped me 576 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:26,041 Speaker 2: establish my own voice. It made me not be on 577 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,600 Speaker 2: social media, so I was more present in my life. Beautiful, 578 00:22:28,761 --> 00:22:32,041 Speaker 2: and it also made me intentionally put effort into the 579 00:22:32,041 --> 00:22:33,761 Speaker 2: people that were really important to me. 580 00:22:33,921 --> 00:22:35,241 Speaker 1: Oh, I love that so much. 581 00:22:35,281 --> 00:22:38,201 Speaker 2: So even if I would regularly reach out to these 582 00:22:38,241 --> 00:22:40,360 Speaker 2: three people, I was like, you know, who else is 583 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,761 Speaker 2: important to me? That person who I no longer get 584 00:22:42,761 --> 00:22:44,481 Speaker 2: to see on social media because I'm not on their 585 00:22:44,481 --> 00:22:47,001 Speaker 2: social media anymore. And then I would call them, and 586 00:22:47,001 --> 00:22:50,081 Speaker 2: then I would start to rebuild connections in a way 587 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,561 Speaker 2: that were actually like plugged in and not just oh, 588 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:53,961 Speaker 2: i've watched a story, I know what you did for 589 00:22:54,001 --> 00:22:55,360 Speaker 2: the day. I feel pumped into you. 590 00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:56,240 Speaker 1: You're not a part of that. 591 00:22:56,561 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 2: You're not a part of that journey, You're not a 592 00:22:57,961 --> 00:23:00,081 Speaker 2: part of that experience. You're not a part of that moment. 593 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,480 Speaker 2: It's not true connection. It is the most powerful thing 594 00:23:03,521 --> 00:23:05,240 Speaker 2: to do. Highly recommend it that. 595 00:23:06,281 --> 00:23:08,721 Speaker 1: Another thing we've done too is put our screen time 596 00:23:08,761 --> 00:23:09,160 Speaker 1: limit on. 597 00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:10,161 Speaker 2: Yes, so helpful. 598 00:23:10,201 --> 00:23:12,880 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. It's actually like a setting in your phone. 599 00:23:12,921 --> 00:23:14,761 Speaker 1: So I have mine limited for two hours a day. 600 00:23:15,201 --> 00:23:17,241 Speaker 1: I'll be honest, most days I have to push because 601 00:23:17,281 --> 00:23:19,201 Speaker 1: once you've hit you two hours, it gets an option 602 00:23:19,281 --> 00:23:21,400 Speaker 1: to ignore for today, ignore for the next fifteen minutes. 603 00:23:21,721 --> 00:23:23,321 Speaker 1: So if I'm in the middle of it, posting or 604 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,681 Speaker 1: getting back to DMS or emails or something, I will 605 00:23:25,681 --> 00:23:27,200 Speaker 1: say ignore. Want to do that most days because I 606 00:23:27,481 --> 00:23:30,041 Speaker 1: at my phone. So sometimes two hours isn't realistic for 607 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,600 Speaker 1: men's four and I still push, so I probably need 608 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 1: to increase mine to three. But it keeps me so 609 00:23:34,721 --> 00:23:37,440 Speaker 1: much more accountable, and my screen time has drastically gone down. 610 00:23:37,521 --> 00:23:39,440 Speaker 1: That's good because an hour now I'm more aware of 611 00:23:39,481 --> 00:23:41,080 Speaker 1: like how long I've been scrolling for and am I 612 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:44,241 Speaker 1: scrolling or am I actually working? Yes? Yeah, and I'm like, okay, no, 613 00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 1: you've done your scrolling, actually work or put the phone down. 614 00:23:47,441 --> 00:23:49,561 Speaker 1: It's kept me really in check, which has been really cool. 615 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,961 Speaker 2: That's good. I really like that as well. You showed 616 00:23:52,001 --> 00:23:53,361 Speaker 2: me that you started doing that. I was like, oh, 617 00:23:53,441 --> 00:23:56,160 Speaker 2: I like really need this, I only did four hours 618 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,601 Speaker 2: because my screen time was it's something ridiculous, like nine 619 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,561 Speaker 2: hours or something stupid. I don't know why. And then 620 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,681 Speaker 2: I notice, like on the days, if I am having 621 00:24:04,681 --> 00:24:07,680 Speaker 2: a bad and I lean towards doom scrolling, my alert 622 00:24:07,761 --> 00:24:09,960 Speaker 2: will come up much earlier in the day. But then 623 00:24:10,281 --> 00:24:12,721 Speaker 2: if I'm good and I like follow and only post 624 00:24:12,761 --> 00:24:15,120 Speaker 2: when I'm working, then it will pop up like yeah, 625 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,001 Speaker 2: that's cool, and I'm like, okay, cool, Like I've got 626 00:24:17,041 --> 00:24:20,121 Speaker 2: probably like a couple of snoozes before I can get 627 00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:21,961 Speaker 2: off my phone. I love that, but it is it's 628 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:22,761 Speaker 2: very helpful. 629 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,201 Speaker 1: Another thing you can do too, which I do sometimes, 630 00:24:25,281 --> 00:24:26,360 Speaker 1: is you know how you have your apps on your 631 00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:29,281 Speaker 1: home screen. You can like move them off or move 632 00:24:29,321 --> 00:24:31,801 Speaker 1: them into a Folderiz's habit just to unlock your phone 633 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,640 Speaker 1: and click Instagram. Yeah, but if it's in a folder 634 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,041 Speaker 1: and you have there's another couple of steps. Sometimes you're like, oh, 635 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:37,840 Speaker 1: I don't need to go in there, and you break 636 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:39,440 Speaker 1: that habit or put it right to the end. You 637 00:24:39,521 --> 00:24:41,360 Speaker 1: and your scroll across to all your apps. Put it 638 00:24:41,441 --> 00:24:43,120 Speaker 1: right at the end, and you're not gonna be bothered. 639 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:44,561 Speaker 1: Half the time, it's like, oh, I've got shit to 640 00:24:44,561 --> 00:24:46,120 Speaker 1: do and I need to click in there break the habit. 641 00:24:46,201 --> 00:24:49,041 Speaker 1: It's breaking the habits you from just like being on 642 00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:52,160 Speaker 1: autopilot and clicking into it all. Oh I love that 643 00:24:52,321 --> 00:24:52,880 Speaker 1: little hack. 644 00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:56,281 Speaker 2: I did that once before, and I only had three 645 00:24:56,281 --> 00:24:59,081 Speaker 2: things on my main screen and everything else was everywhere 646 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:01,440 Speaker 2: else or hidden, so that I wasn't tempted to go 647 00:25:01,481 --> 00:25:02,241 Speaker 2: into like apps. 648 00:25:02,321 --> 00:25:05,200 Speaker 1: Yeah that's cool. I've got mine all in folders, so 649 00:25:05,241 --> 00:25:08,561 Speaker 1: I've got life connected, I'm creative and then obviously school 650 00:25:08,561 --> 00:25:10,681 Speaker 1: for Rise and Side, but it's all unfolders mains. 651 00:25:10,761 --> 00:25:12,801 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Yeah, I need to clean mine up. 652 00:25:12,961 --> 00:25:16,001 Speaker 1: Well. We hope this helps because, yeah, to social media, 653 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,321 Speaker 1: it can be amazing, but it can also be not 654 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,880 Speaker 1: great for our mental health. So just be super aware 655 00:25:20,921 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 1: of how you're using it, make sure you're using it 656 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,840 Speaker 1: really intentionally. Yeah. Yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. 657 00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:26,641 Speaker 1: We'll see you next time. 658 00:25:26,721 --> 00:25:28,561 Speaker 2: Bye bye