WEBVTT - #2064 Social Osmosis - Harps & Tiff 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:03.120 I get a team. It's Harps, it's Tiff, it's the 0:00:03.200 --> 0:00:05.640 project that you were a Sunday. This could this could 0:00:05.680 --> 0:00:08.480 go anywhere, probably be pretty What are you doing adjusting 0:00:08.480 --> 0:00:11.520 your mind because this is your fucking first time. That's 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:14.640 a me thing. That's that's what you yell at me for. 0:00:16.440 --> 0:00:22.320 Do better? Oh oh sorry, it's just my first one. 0:00:24.040 --> 0:00:28.800 Oh you're just fucking deaf. 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:32.680 And if you didn't throw me in the body to 0:00:32.760 --> 0:00:34.800 the wolves, then I could have edited that out and 0:00:34.880 --> 0:00:37.519 no one would have known. But now everyone gets to 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:40.800 peek behind the curtain and see what are you ship 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:42.880 store risk and turn out to be? 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:46.879 What a fuck fest of mayhem it is on a Sunday. No, 0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:49.920 that's all right. Praise the Lord, Hi Ti. 0:00:50.200 --> 0:00:53.159 Hi Harps. Happy Sunday, Happy Sunday. 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:55.840 Happy. I'm going to say happy Sunday to our listeners. 0:00:55.880 --> 0:00:57.760 Doesn't matter what day it is, Happy Sunday. I hope 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:01.680 you're having a good day. Good morning, you know, just 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:04.520 out there doing God's work, your little fuckers, and just 0:01:04.880 --> 0:01:09.199 sowing seeds of love and joy wherever you go, because 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:13.280 we can, we can. What have you been up to? 0:01:13.720 --> 0:01:15.480 What's the time? It's two twenty it's two twenty in 0:01:15.520 --> 0:01:18.120 the PM, or as all my military and cop friends say, 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:21.120 fourteen twenty. What are you up to? What do you 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:21.640 mean up to? 0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:24.560 I've been in the gym all morning training clients. That 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:28.360 was fabulous. One of my one of my former podcast 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:30.800 guests who I love, rocked up with one of my 0:01:30.840 --> 0:01:33.000 clients and that was really exciting because I didn't know 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:35.160 they were coming. So that was that was a real treat. 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:38.959 Then I left there, went and picked up my fair child. 0:01:39.040 --> 0:01:41.920 She likes to go and have a little little hangout 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:45.520 with a friend on Sunday afternoons. And here we are 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:49.440 behind Mike adjusting our mic, ready to have an epic 0:01:49.440 --> 0:01:54.240 conversation with the Guru, Craig Anthony Harper almost doctor. 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:58.600 Listen to you, fucking hell, you've you've learned. You know 0:01:58.640 --> 0:02:01.000 what you've learned how to do to shit at an 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:01.919 elite level. 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:03.880 I wonder where that came from. 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:08.760 Yeah, do you know what we should do this for 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:11.440 this episode? Do you know that picture that you just 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:15.600 showed me of the two gorillas? Yeah, just describe to 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:17.960 people what that is. I reckon we should use that. 0:02:18.680 --> 0:02:22.239 So if you never look at the U Project Facebook page, 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:25.520 or you never go to the I don't know where 0:02:25.600 --> 0:02:27.359 the fuck it goes. But if you go have a 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:29.040 look at the youth, I don't know where's it goes. 0:02:29.720 --> 0:02:30.400 It's a group. 0:02:30.440 --> 0:02:33.799 Do you project Facebook and you'll see what we're talking about. 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:36.880 But describe to people this image that is the metaphor 0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:38.480 in your head of you and I. 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:43.680 So it is there's a big gorilla sitting there and 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:46.480 then there's a little gorilla standing in front of him, 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:50.440 super straight, with his hands behind his back, or let's 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:57.080 say her hands behind her hybrid back, listening astuteley. And 0:02:57.120 --> 0:03:02.320 it's a metaphor for me coming out of the bamboo 0:03:02.400 --> 0:03:05.080 and listening intently on what I can learn from the 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:08.480 guru harps. And as you can hear everyone, it's starting 0:03:08.520 --> 0:03:13.280 to starting to rub off, taking hold a rapid type base. 0:03:14.200 --> 0:03:15.760 Do you know what's funny is you know when you 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:23.000 spend time around people, it's almost like linguistic osmosis or 0:03:23.080 --> 0:03:27.280 vocabulary osmosis, where just it's like it fucking rubs off on. 0:03:27.560 --> 0:03:30.520 I think I just invented two terms. You're welcome, dictionary, 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:35.520 fuck you, hey, dear websters, put myne give me the credit. 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:41.800 But Melissa, every now and then, Melissa, who compared to 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:45.960 you and me, is like the queen. Like people who 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:49.120 don't know Melissa, because like Melissa used to be on 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:52.560 half the podcast for the first few years. Now she's 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:55.600 like a fucking unicorn. It's like trying to get her 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:57.760 on the podcast is like trying to get the Pope 0:03:57.760 --> 0:04:00.600 on the podcast. Right, it's probably easier to get the pope, 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:06.080 but anyway, she's very what's the word not proper, not 0:04:06.240 --> 0:04:09.640 like pompous. But she's like the other end of the scale. 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:13.559 You and I are up the fucking bogan sweary, inappropriate, 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:16.040 you know, look at me, look at me. She's like 0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:19.599 down the other end, don't look at me, don't notice me. 0:04:20.200 --> 0:04:22.960 Just want to go under the radar. But every now 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:27.279 and then she uses words that are absolutely not her, 0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:31.599 they're me, but she uses it in a Melissa sentence, 0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:33.800 and I'm like, that's the other day she said to me, 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:38.160 you know, because I don't say money or alcohol, I 0:04:38.200 --> 0:04:40.640 say doe and booze. Right, So every now and then 0:04:40.680 --> 0:04:43.479 she'll say something about, you know, making some dough in 0:04:43.520 --> 0:04:46.719 twenty twenty six, that's just so funny, or she'll talk 0:04:46.760 --> 0:04:51.600 about her old man drinking booze, and I'm like, where, 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:56.240 who even are you? And it's just funny to hear 0:04:57.040 --> 0:05:00.920 words that she would never have used. She not rubbed 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:05.240 up against me metaphorically for fifteen years of her life. 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:07.200 I don't think this is a good thing, by the way, 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:11.279 I don't think. I don't think these are positive attributes 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:14.960 that she's acquired. But nonetheless, it's that you know when 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:18.120 you're around or even if it might be people that 0:05:18.279 --> 0:05:20.440 you just listen to a lot or like a lot, 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:24.840 Like I've listened to well over a thousand of Rogan's podcasts, 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:27.400 and I know some people hate him, some people love him, 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:30.120 but like him or hate him. Is the biggest podcast 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:34.000 on the planet. Sometimes he says things I disagree with, 0:05:34.080 --> 0:05:36.880 sometimes I agree with. Some shows are funny, some are boring. 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:39.599 You know, but when you listen to a lot of 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:42.200 a personal, read a lot of a personal or even 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:45.159 like for me being in you know, an academic setting 0:05:45.240 --> 0:05:48.520 for six years, like there are certain words that I 0:05:48.640 --> 0:05:51.400 use now that I didn't ever use. There are certain 0:05:51.520 --> 0:05:54.680 ideas that I unpack regularly because I've been bumping up 0:05:54.680 --> 0:05:59.280 against that language and those concepts, And so you don't think, oh, 0:05:59.400 --> 0:06:01.720 I'm going to stay to incorporate this word or this 0:06:01.800 --> 0:06:05.599 idea or this concept, but it just becomes part of 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:10.720 your default setting, where oh, now you're different. Like if 0:06:11.080 --> 0:06:15.680 fifty year old me have heard current me talk, I 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:17.760 might think, why the fuck do I talk like that? 0:06:17.839 --> 0:06:20.599 I don't use those words, But it's just it's just 0:06:20.720 --> 0:06:24.200 an unconscious byproduct of who you're around. I think. 0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:28.120 Yeah, I've had I remember in the early days editing 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:30.400 a podcast and I had to stop and google a 0:06:30.440 --> 0:06:33.040 word that I had used to make sure it was 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:35.920 an academic word. I'm sure I can't remember what it 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:39.400 was now, but I was like, where'd that come from? 0:06:39.480 --> 0:06:42.320 And have I used that correctly? Because that's not a 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:45.520 me word, you know, And that's just a result of Obviously, 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:48.400 that particular word had been used enough with enough context 0:06:48.440 --> 0:06:50.440 that I now understood what it meant. But I was like, 0:06:51.160 --> 0:06:53.239 if you had have asked me, what does this define? 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:56.680 This word? Obviously I wasn't really sure because I had 0:06:56.720 --> 0:06:58.560 to google it and make sure that I had used 0:06:58.560 --> 0:06:59.600 it in the right context. 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:04.080 Yes, yes, and you know what's interesting, go on? Go on? 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:05.840 No, I was just going to say, I remember at 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:09.400 school being like really quick to mimic, like I would 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:12.680 pick things up who the people I spent time with, 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:15.720 I would talk like them, And it wasn't intentional. It 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:17.800 was like, oh, you sound like you're just copying them. 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:21.560 That just being around people really quickly changed how I 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:23.280 would speak and what I would say. 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:29.080 I guess also not dissimilar to going. You know, if 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:31.160 you went and lived in America for five years, you'd 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:34.280 come back and probably as an adult you wouldn't have 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:37.440 a totally American accent. But if fourteen or twelve year 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:39.760 old TIF went over, you would come back five years 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:44.160 later and sound totally American and at no stage are 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:47.760 you probably may I think some people do try to 0:07:47.800 --> 0:07:51.680 get an accent, but most people it's like, oh, you know, 0:07:51.480 --> 0:07:54.960 you come back and you just over time, you've just 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:58.200 you become a version of in terms of accent, you 0:07:58.240 --> 0:08:02.000 become a version of whoever you're around. And you know 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:04.640 that that's saying hang out with people who drag you up. 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:11.400 It's like when I spend time with, say Chris, who's 0:08:11.440 --> 0:08:16.320 my senior supervisor at university, you know, but my listeners 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:18.160 might not, so I need to explain that. But you know, 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:22.640 Chris speaks. I think he speaks six or seven languages. 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:27.040 You know, he's a professor. He's got two PhDs. He's 0:08:27.280 --> 0:08:30.760 one of the smartest people I know. Also really good guy. 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:34.000 I was going to say user friendly, but he is 0:08:34.080 --> 0:08:37.200 kind of user friendly, isn't he, Because he's not like, 0:08:37.280 --> 0:08:40.040 he's easy to talk to. He's funny, he's easy to 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:43.440 be around, but he also has this fucking vast brain. 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:47.560 And I love being around him one because I like 0:08:47.640 --> 0:08:51.440 him and we've become good friends and i've you know, 0:08:51.480 --> 0:08:56.280 we've done this two way kind of transplant. He spent 0:08:56.480 --> 0:09:00.400 the last three years, three and a half years training 0:09:00.400 --> 0:09:02.680 in the gym with me, where he was a total newbie. 0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:05.120 Didn't know what a bench best was, didn't know I 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:09.480 mean he theoretically knew, but where he had no skills, no, no, 0:09:09.800 --> 0:09:13.800 you know, trained strength everything you know, is like a 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:16.400 newborn fole in the gym, he was like, you know, 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:18.200 all over the shop. And now three and a half 0:09:18.360 --> 0:09:21.560 years down the track, it's quite strong, he's quite trained, 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:24.840 he's quite proficient. He's not the white belt anymore. He 0:09:24.920 --> 0:09:29.640 understands the language. He understands like the culture of training 0:09:29.679 --> 0:09:32.960 and the gym culture, and you know, sets and reps 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:36.720 and volume and workload and recovery and progressive overload. He 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:40.760 understands the theory and the practicality, but I never at 0:09:40.800 --> 0:09:44.680 any stage taught him that intentionally. It's just a by 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:49.360 product of doing it and being around me. Also, the 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:53.559 conversations that I can have with him now about research 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:56.880 and science and understand what we're bringing new things into 0:09:56.920 --> 0:09:59.959 the world, and all of the kind of the new 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:02.839 wants of what it is to do academia at a 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:07.080 high level, well that's totally changed as well, you know, 0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:10.240 And you think, oh, isn't this Isn't this a nice 0:10:10.360 --> 0:10:13.520 byproduct where I've learned and evolved and grown and I 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:18.000 have a different vocabulary, And he's influenced my worldview and 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:22.199 my the way that I perceive and process and understand 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:26.280 things for the better. Conversely, and I'll shut up after this, 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:30.480 But conversely, you know, and I had to say this, 0:10:30.559 --> 0:10:33.359 but it's just true. Some people are fucking energy vampires. 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:36.920 And if you I know, a few of my friends 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:39.600 and a few of my followers and listeners have spoken 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:43.079 to me about the fact that they just happened to 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:45.839 work with people who are versions, who are a version 0:10:45.880 --> 0:10:48.440 of that. They didn't choose them, they don't want to 0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:55.360 be around them. They just situationally interwoven with them. Where 0:10:55.480 --> 0:10:58.240 you know, and it's like, that's going to affect you 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:00.640 the other way. That's going to drag you down, that's 0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:01.319 going to fuck you. 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:04.200 Up one percent. There's been several times I can recall 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:08.720 in life where I have sat down, stepped back, looked 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:12.000 at things that are going on. The times I'm thinking 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:13.720 of were good times, and I'm like, oh, you know, 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:18.040 I feel I'm getting great opportunities. There's really great stuff happening. 0:11:18.200 --> 0:11:21.280 I feel really lucky, and I actually sit down and 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:24.480 look at who I have intentionally spent time with. And 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:29.720 I remember, specifically twenty twenty when all that chaos was 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:33.240 happening and I'd done so much net I'd created so 0:11:33.320 --> 0:11:38.000 many great relationships through networking over the years that every 0:11:38.040 --> 0:11:41.640 time I have transitioned from working to PT, from PT 0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:45.280 to podcasting and changed business well when I did Overseas 0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:49.680 fitness treats, anytime I launched something and transitioned, there were 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:53.560 support that those people supported me, and they weren't just 0:11:53.640 --> 0:11:56.719 business contacts. I'd actually I looked at them and I went, oh, 0:11:57.120 --> 0:12:00.199 they came from there, but I developed really strong relationship 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:03.720 and friendships with them, and that's why things are going well. 0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:06.520 And that's why I see the opportunities or create the 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:10.560 opportunities and feel supported to do so. And it's it's 0:12:10.640 --> 0:12:13.640 not like it's not really luck, is it. It feels 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:16.320 like luck, But when you look at the actions you've 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:21.320 taken and the places you've put yourself in, then it's 0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:22.360 not really just luck. 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:26.319 Well, you think about the process that you've been through. 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:28.120 If I get a bit of this wrong, correct me 0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:31.120 on the dates and numbers. But for the last six 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:34.800 or so months with the group that you've been involved in, 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:37.000 the speaking group, so you're around all these people who 0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:39.400 want to do what you do. Some of them have 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:41.840 got no experience, some a little, some a bit, some 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:46.240 quite a bit. And then you've got this lady who's 0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:48.080 a mentor and a teacher and a coach, and there's 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:50.840 this structure and there's this process, and there's this feedback 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:55.240 and accountability. But everybody's there because they want to get 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:58.600 good at a thing. So there's this common theme and 0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:02.600 goal and value that everybody has. And in the middle 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:05.679 of that, I mean, it's hard to quantify, but I 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:08.240 would imagine you being in the middle of that for 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:12.800 six months might give you twenty four months of growth. 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:15.839 If you didn't have that, you know, it might have 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:18.600 taken you. You may not have ever got that growth. 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:21.840 Like so you maybe progressed two years worth of natural 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:25.640 development in six months because you put yourself in a 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:30.400 situation where you were and yes, you actually learn things 0:13:30.440 --> 0:13:34.360 and your applied protocols and ideas and concepts, but also 0:13:35.080 --> 0:13:39.360 you were just in this pressure cooker. Maybe that's overstating it, 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:42.840 but you're in this room, this metaphoric room, with all 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:46.880 these people that were like minded. Well, that's fucking that's 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:49.640 a beautiful way to evolve, and that's a beautiful way 0:13:49.720 --> 0:13:53.719 to swim in this soup of growth and potential and 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:55.400 creativity and exploration. 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:58.800 It was amazing. And you know what else, Earlier this year, 0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:02.000 I started spending a lot of time with another a speaker, 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:04.800 somebody i'd had on my show years ago, and we 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:08.720 started catching up, and then we started doing some work together, 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:11.360 like co working space type stuff. And I thought, at 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:15.079 the time, what's this guy because he's so much more 0:14:15.120 --> 0:14:18.360 experienced than me, and it all kind of feels like 0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:21.680 he spends his time teaching me, and I don't know 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:23.520 what he's getting out of this. And we developed this 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:29.600 beautiful relationship doing work together and creating opportunities, and eventually 0:14:29.640 --> 0:14:33.000 we like talking about it and he said, I need 0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:35.200 people that want to grow, and I saw you as 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:37.800 someone that wants to grow, and I really appreciate having you, 0:14:37.880 --> 0:14:40.400 like I really it's nice to have you in my life. 0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:44.240 And now we're doing we're creating opportunities together. But it 0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:47.400 was interesting how at first I was really perplexed. I'm like, 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:49.560 I feel I kind of feel guilty. I'm not bringing 0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:52.800 anything to Like he's teaching me what he's gone out 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:57.000 and spent you know, money, time and resources and got 0:14:57.080 --> 0:15:00.640 runs on the board and now he's teaching me, And 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:03.320 what is he getting out of this? He's getting exactly 0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:05.680 what I just said i'd get out of business networking. 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:10.080 And it's valuable, yes, yes, yes, And I think there's 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:14.040 you know, we don't always want everything to be strategic 0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:15.720 or about the benefit for us. 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:18.240 Obviously there can be the opposite of that, where we 0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:20.600 just want to give because that's part of our value 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:24.560 or one of our values. But when I think broadly 0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:30.680 about think about people that I want to be around, 0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:34.560 and not just because oh it's nice for me to 0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:37.440 help this person or whatever. No, forget that, but just 0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:40.760 like somebody that you had on your show recently, and 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:45.160 we've had on here two or three times, doctor Denesh 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:50.600 Palipana right now. For those of who don't know, Denesh 0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:55.760 is both a lawyer and a medical doctor. And he 0:15:55.800 --> 0:16:00.520 became a lawyer and then started medicine and in third 0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:04.320 or fourth he had a horrendous accident if I fuck 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:09.600 anything up, correct me became a quadriplegic with very limited 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:15.200 use of his arms. And anyway, this dude, and also 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:19.440 he was Queensland Australian of the Year and he's like, 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:27.160 there is something about that dude that is almost this 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:28.840 is going to sound weird. I can't think of the 0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:30.960 right term, but all that comes to mind for me 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:38.160 almost otherworldly. Like he is like there is this spiritual, peaceful, 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:42.400 beautiful energy. And that's a funny thing for a man 0:16:42.480 --> 0:16:45.200 to say about a man. Don't give a fuck. He 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:49.840 is such a beautiful human. Yeah, and here's this dude 0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:54.320 in this wheelchair who there's so many things he can't do, 0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:58.960 but with all his physical limitations, he's doing way more 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:02.520 and I'm not trying to compare, but he does so much. 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:05.360 And I saw him in Queensland when I was doing 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:07.720 a gig a month and a half ago or something, 0:17:07.800 --> 0:17:13.040 and you had him on recently, and when I saw him, 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:17.600 I just I couldn't get enough of him, and I 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:20.520 just loved being around him, and he has you know, 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:23.439 when you talk to people, and when you talk to 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:27.040 that person, it's like the rest of the world vanishes 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:30.960 and you feel like you are the only person or 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:33.960 thing in the world full that minute or ten that 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:38.240 matters to that person. And he didn't do anything particular 0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:41.800 that made me feel special, but I'm like, look at you, 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:44.320 and I could tell he was tired because you'd just 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:49.480 done a presentation and being a quadriplegic is exhausting because 0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:51.919 it takes so much more energy to do stuff that 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:56.640 takes us less energy. But he couldn't just be kind enough. 0:17:56.640 --> 0:18:00.280 And I'm like, wow, I wish I lived near him. 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:02.760 I wish, you know, And that's very I'm saying that 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:05.760 from a selfish point of view, but you know, so 0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:09.879 I came away from him energized. But also, you know, 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:13.320 when you spend time around people who unknowingly and for 0:18:13.359 --> 0:18:15.080 the better shift your perspective. 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:15.560 Yep. 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:17.840 And it's the same with Johnny that you know from 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:20.919 the gym, and everybody's heard about Johnny, but it's like 0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:24.040 all of my friends who have real, you know, traumatic 0:18:24.040 --> 0:18:27.440 brain injuries or disabilities of you know, like whether or 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:32.320 not spinal cord injuries or some kind of paralysis. It's yeah, 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:36.920 they don't even have to say anything about perspective or gratitude. 0:18:36.960 --> 0:18:39.119 They don't even they don't need to teach me or 0:18:39.119 --> 0:18:42.280 tell me anything. I just need to be around them 0:18:42.440 --> 0:18:45.400 and it's good. And even if when I'm around them, 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:48.520 I'm serving them and I'm just I promise you I 0:18:48.560 --> 0:18:49.800 get more out of it than they do. 0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:54.440 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's so it's fascinating because I remember 0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:57.720 when I finish that conversation and deneche said, we've ever 0:18:57.800 --> 0:19:00.800 in Queensland. Come and have a coffee, And I had 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:03.159 that sense of I kind of want to buy a 0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:07.800 ticket and go, guys, okay, I'll come up, I'll come 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:09.960 up and visit you. Was like, that's a weird thing 0:19:10.000 --> 0:19:12.400 to feel, like with a podcast guess you've just met, 0:19:12.920 --> 0:19:16.679 But yeah, he had that really generous and you have 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:19.760 this sense of I kind of don't really, I'm not 0:19:19.800 --> 0:19:22.880 that interested in talking about the accident. Like there's something 0:19:22.920 --> 0:19:25.520 else entirely going on and I want to know about that, 0:19:25.560 --> 0:19:26.879 but I don't even know what it is. 0:19:27.760 --> 0:19:31.080 Yeah, well, there are some people that I don't know. 0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:33.080 This is not the right word though, I don't have 0:19:33.160 --> 0:19:37.600 the words that can truly kind of do justice. And 0:19:37.640 --> 0:19:40.120 it sounds a bit over the top. But there's something 0:19:40.640 --> 0:19:44.840 special about some people, you know, And and it's like, 0:19:45.040 --> 0:19:47.639 I don't know what it is, but I want to 0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:49.200 learn from you or I want to be a bit 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:54.919 more like you, and yeah, but also on the flip 0:19:54.960 --> 0:20:02.080 side of that coin, you know, sometimes I write things. 0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:05.000 I go to published to something on Instagram that I've written, 0:20:05.040 --> 0:20:08.639 and I go apart from what the message is and 0:20:08.680 --> 0:20:10.879 apart from the value that the people might get, what 0:20:10.920 --> 0:20:14.120 does this say about me? You know? It's like sometimes 0:20:14.280 --> 0:20:17.360 I write something and I'm like, is this too smart, assie? 0:20:17.640 --> 0:20:24.560 This is my intention actually good? Or am I you know, like, 0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:27.199 and there's a fine line, of course, and this is 0:20:28.280 --> 0:20:31.399 you know, reflective of my research and my PhD. But 0:20:31.800 --> 0:20:34.159 you know, he's understanding how we're perceived by others. And 0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:37.080 so while you do kind of want insight into how 0:20:37.119 --> 0:20:40.280 people perceive you. You don't want to be obsessed with it, 0:20:40.880 --> 0:20:43.199 because once you're obsessed and it's all about fear and 0:20:43.240 --> 0:20:47.879 insecurity and a desperate need for approval. But at the 0:20:47.920 --> 0:20:52.640 same time, I do think, I hope I'm a good 0:20:52.680 --> 0:20:56.680 person to be around. Like I hope that and not 0:20:56.680 --> 0:21:00.480 not coming from a place of insecurity, but not odd 0:21:00.520 --> 0:21:02.919 do people like me and oh do they approve? But 0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:07.159 just that I hope I'm somewhere in the ballpark of 0:21:07.200 --> 0:21:10.760 densh or somewhere in the ballpark of Johnny or those 0:21:10.800 --> 0:21:13.320 people that you just go, fuck, I love being around 0:21:13.400 --> 0:21:14.280 that person. 0:21:15.680 --> 0:21:18.600 Can confirm do I need to do I need to 0:21:18.600 --> 0:21:20.440 get out the picture of the gorilla again? 0:21:21.240 --> 0:21:25.480 Yeah, thank you, thank you. I know that sounded fucking needy. 0:21:25.520 --> 0:21:28.000 I didn't mean it too, but I just think, you know, 0:21:28.040 --> 0:21:30.119 when you meet people like that, you go, you're amazing. 0:21:30.320 --> 0:21:32.960 I go, I hope I'm a little bit like you. 0:21:33.320 --> 0:21:35.800 Well that kind of leads to what I was thinking. 0:21:35.840 --> 0:21:38.720 The question I was going to ask was can there's 0:21:38.720 --> 0:21:42.080 a lot of stuff that I think we operationalize and 0:21:42.200 --> 0:21:44.239 teach and can you teach that or do you just 0:21:44.320 --> 0:21:48.480 need to be around it. Like sometimes I get annoyed 0:21:48.480 --> 0:21:52.199 at what people are teaching in a craft when I 0:21:52.240 --> 0:21:55.359 think it should even around pluck speaking, I go, well 0:21:55.880 --> 0:22:00.439 speak speaking, Like if you're just interested and have to 0:22:00.440 --> 0:22:02.720 worry about the mechanics of your voice and your pitch 0:22:02.800 --> 0:22:05.240 and your this and your that. Like, if you're just interested, 0:22:06.119 --> 0:22:12.680 you'll be so embedded in listening, and you'll feel empathy 0:22:12.720 --> 0:22:15.800 and you'll be curious, and all of those things just happen. 0:22:16.200 --> 0:22:18.240 And I think, is it the same thing when you go, 0:22:18.840 --> 0:22:21.680 I don't I want to be more like that person? 0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:24.680 You can't get a checklist and then act it out 0:22:24.720 --> 0:22:27.480 because that's not it. That's the opposite of what you 0:22:27.560 --> 0:22:30.399 want to be, because then that's just manipulation. Is go, well, 0:22:30.440 --> 0:22:33.600 I want to be whatever that is. If I'm around it, 0:22:34.160 --> 0:22:37.080 hopefully i'll become it a little bit. It'll just change me. 0:22:38.000 --> 0:22:41.320 That's very true, and that's very insightful. It's like the 0:22:41.400 --> 0:22:48.720 difference between pretending you're humble and being humble, pretending you're 0:22:48.760 --> 0:22:53.120 grateful and actually having gratitude. You know, that's virtue signaling 0:22:53.720 --> 0:22:56.840 when oh, look at It's like I posted a thing 0:22:56.880 --> 0:22:59.240 the other day about all these people that are putting 0:22:59.320 --> 0:23:04.359