1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:03,120 Speaker 1: I get a team. It's Harps, it's Tiff, it's the 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,640 Speaker 1: project that you were a Sunday. This could this could 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,480 Speaker 1: go anywhere, probably be pretty What are you doing adjusting 4 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 1: your mind because this is your fucking first time. That's 5 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: a me thing. That's that's what you yell at me for. 6 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 1: Do better? Oh oh sorry, it's just my first one. 7 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 1: Oh you're just fucking deaf. 8 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 2: And if you didn't throw me in the body to 9 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,800 Speaker 2: the wolves, then I could have edited that out and 10 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:37,519 Speaker 2: no one would have known. But now everyone gets to 11 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 2: peek behind the curtain and see what are you ship 12 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,880 Speaker 2: store risk and turn out to be? 13 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:46,879 Speaker 1: What a fuck fest of mayhem it is on a Sunday. No, 14 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,920 Speaker 1: that's all right. Praise the Lord, Hi Ti. 15 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 2: Hi Harps. Happy Sunday, Happy Sunday. 16 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 1: Happy. I'm going to say happy Sunday to our listeners. 17 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 1: Doesn't matter what day it is, Happy Sunday. I hope 18 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 1: you're having a good day. Good morning, you know, just 19 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 1: out there doing God's work, your little fuckers, and just 20 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:09,199 Speaker 1: sowing seeds of love and joy wherever you go, because 21 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: we can, we can. What have you been up to? 22 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,480 Speaker 1: What's the time? It's two twenty it's two twenty in 23 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,120 Speaker 1: the PM, or as all my military and cop friends say, 24 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:21,120 Speaker 1: fourteen twenty. What are you up to? What do you 25 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 1: mean up to? 26 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 2: I've been in the gym all morning training clients. That 27 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 2: was fabulous. One of my one of my former podcast 28 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 2: guests who I love, rocked up with one of my 29 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 2: clients and that was really exciting because I didn't know 30 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,160 Speaker 2: they were coming. So that was that was a real treat. 31 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,959 Speaker 2: Then I left there, went and picked up my fair child. 32 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 2: She likes to go and have a little little hangout 33 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 2: with a friend on Sunday afternoons. And here we are 34 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 2: behind Mike adjusting our mic, ready to have an epic 35 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 2: conversation with the Guru, Craig Anthony Harper almost doctor. 36 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 1: Listen to you, fucking hell, you've you've learned. You know 37 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: what you've learned how to do to shit at an 38 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:01,919 Speaker 1: elite level. 39 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 2: I wonder where that came from. 40 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, do you know what we should do this for 41 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 1: this episode? Do you know that picture that you just 42 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 1: showed me of the two gorillas? Yeah, just describe to 43 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 1: people what that is. I reckon we should use that. 44 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:22,239 Speaker 1: So if you never look at the U Project Facebook page, 45 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 1: or you never go to the I don't know where 46 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,359 Speaker 1: the fuck it goes. But if you go have a 47 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 1: look at the youth, I don't know where's it goes. 48 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:30,400 Speaker 2: It's a group. 49 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:33,799 Speaker 1: Do you project Facebook and you'll see what we're talking about. 50 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 1: But describe to people this image that is the metaphor 51 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,480 Speaker 1: in your head of you and I. 52 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 2: So it is there's a big gorilla sitting there and 53 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 2: then there's a little gorilla standing in front of him, 54 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 2: super straight, with his hands behind his back, or let's 55 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:57,080 Speaker 2: say her hands behind her hybrid back, listening astuteley. And 56 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 2: it's a metaphor for me coming out of the bamboo 57 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 2: and listening intently on what I can learn from the 58 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 2: guru harps. And as you can hear everyone, it's starting 59 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 2: to starting to rub off, taking hold a rapid type base. 60 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,760 Speaker 1: Do you know what's funny is you know when you 61 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:23,000 Speaker 1: spend time around people, it's almost like linguistic osmosis or 62 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: vocabulary osmosis, where just it's like it fucking rubs off on. 63 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:30,520 Speaker 1: I think I just invented two terms. You're welcome, dictionary, 64 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 1: fuck you, hey, dear websters, put myne give me the credit. 65 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 1: But Melissa, every now and then, Melissa, who compared to 66 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: you and me, is like the queen. Like people who 67 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 1: don't know Melissa, because like Melissa used to be on 68 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 1: half the podcast for the first few years. Now she's 69 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,600 Speaker 1: like a fucking unicorn. It's like trying to get her 70 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 1: on the podcast is like trying to get the Pope 71 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 1: on the podcast. Right, it's probably easier to get the pope, 72 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 1: but anyway, she's very what's the word not proper, not 73 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 1: like pompous. But she's like the other end of the scale. 74 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:13,559 Speaker 1: You and I are up the fucking bogan sweary, inappropriate, 75 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 1: you know, look at me, look at me. She's like 76 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,599 Speaker 1: down the other end, don't look at me, don't notice me. 77 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 1: Just want to go under the radar. But every now 78 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:27,279 Speaker 1: and then she uses words that are absolutely not her, 79 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 1: they're me, but she uses it in a Melissa sentence, 80 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's the other day she said to me, 81 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,160 Speaker 1: you know, because I don't say money or alcohol, I 82 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,640 Speaker 1: say doe and booze. Right, So every now and then 83 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 1: she'll say something about, you know, making some dough in 84 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:46,719 Speaker 1: twenty twenty six, that's just so funny, or she'll talk 85 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:51,600 Speaker 1: about her old man drinking booze, and I'm like, where, 86 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 1: who even are you? And it's just funny to hear 87 00:04:57,040 --> 00:05:00,920 Speaker 1: words that she would never have used. She not rubbed 88 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:05,240 Speaker 1: up against me metaphorically for fifteen years of her life. 89 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 1: I don't think this is a good thing, by the way, 90 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:11,279 Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think these are positive attributes 91 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 1: that she's acquired. But nonetheless, it's that you know when 92 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:18,120 Speaker 1: you're around or even if it might be people that 93 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: you just listen to a lot or like a lot, 94 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:24,840 Speaker 1: Like I've listened to well over a thousand of Rogan's podcasts, 95 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 1: and I know some people hate him, some people love him, 96 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 1: but like him or hate him. Is the biggest podcast 97 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 1: on the planet. Sometimes he says things I disagree with, 98 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: sometimes I agree with. Some shows are funny, some are boring. 99 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,599 Speaker 1: You know, but when you listen to a lot of 100 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,200 Speaker 1: a personal, read a lot of a personal or even 101 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,159 Speaker 1: like for me being in you know, an academic setting 102 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 1: for six years, like there are certain words that I 103 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: use now that I didn't ever use. There are certain 104 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 1: ideas that I unpack regularly because I've been bumping up 105 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:59,280 Speaker 1: against that language and those concepts, And so you don't think, oh, 106 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,720 Speaker 1: I'm going to stay to incorporate this word or this 107 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:05,599 Speaker 1: idea or this concept, but it just becomes part of 108 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:10,720 Speaker 1: your default setting, where oh, now you're different. Like if 109 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:15,680 Speaker 1: fifty year old me have heard current me talk, I 110 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 1: might think, why the fuck do I talk like that? 111 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:20,599 Speaker 1: I don't use those words, But it's just it's just 112 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 1: an unconscious byproduct of who you're around. I think. 113 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I've had I remember in the early days editing 114 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 2: a podcast and I had to stop and google a 115 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 2: word that I had used to make sure it was 116 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 2: an academic word. I'm sure I can't remember what it 117 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 2: was now, but I was like, where'd that come from? 118 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 2: And have I used that correctly? Because that's not a 119 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 2: me word, you know, And that's just a result of Obviously, 120 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 2: that particular word had been used enough with enough context 121 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,440 Speaker 2: that I now understood what it meant. But I was like, 122 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,239 Speaker 2: if you had have asked me, what does this define? 123 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 2: This word? Obviously I wasn't really sure because I had 124 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 2: to google it and make sure that I had used 125 00:06:58,560 --> 00:06:59,600 Speaker 2: it in the right context. 126 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, and you know what's interesting, go on? Go on? 127 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:05,840 Speaker 2: No, I was just going to say, I remember at 128 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:09,400 Speaker 2: school being like really quick to mimic, like I would 129 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,680 Speaker 2: pick things up who the people I spent time with, 130 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 2: I would talk like them, And it wasn't intentional. It 131 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 2: was like, oh, you sound like you're just copying them. 132 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 2: That just being around people really quickly changed how I 133 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 2: would speak and what I would say. 134 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:29,080 Speaker 1: I guess also not dissimilar to going. You know, if 135 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 1: you went and lived in America for five years, you'd 136 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 1: come back and probably as an adult you wouldn't have 137 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 1: a totally American accent. But if fourteen or twelve year 138 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: old TIF went over, you would come back five years 139 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 1: later and sound totally American and at no stage are 140 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,760 Speaker 1: you probably may I think some people do try to 141 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 1: get an accent, but most people it's like, oh, you know, 142 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:54,960 Speaker 1: you come back and you just over time, you've just 143 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,200 Speaker 1: you become a version of in terms of accent, you 144 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:02,000 Speaker 1: become a version of whoever you're around. And you know 145 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 1: that that's saying hang out with people who drag you up. 146 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:11,400 Speaker 1: It's like when I spend time with, say Chris, who's 147 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: my senior supervisor at university, you know, but my listeners 148 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 1: might not, so I need to explain that. But you know, 149 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 1: Chris speaks. I think he speaks six or seven languages. 150 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 1: You know, he's a professor. He's got two PhDs. He's 151 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: one of the smartest people I know. Also really good guy. 152 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: I was going to say user friendly, but he is 153 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,200 Speaker 1: kind of user friendly, isn't he, Because he's not like, 154 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:40,040 Speaker 1: he's easy to talk to. He's funny, he's easy to 155 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:43,440 Speaker 1: be around, but he also has this fucking vast brain. 156 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:47,560 Speaker 1: And I love being around him one because I like 157 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:51,440 Speaker 1: him and we've become good friends and i've you know, 158 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:56,280 Speaker 1: we've done this two way kind of transplant. He spent 159 00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 1: the last three years, three and a half years training 160 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,680 Speaker 1: in the gym with me, where he was a total newbie. 161 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 1: Didn't know what a bench best was, didn't know I 162 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 1: mean he theoretically knew, but where he had no skills, no, no, 163 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 1: you know, trained strength everything you know, is like a 164 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 1: newborn fole in the gym, he was like, you know, 165 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,200 Speaker 1: all over the shop. And now three and a half 166 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:21,560 Speaker 1: years down the track, it's quite strong, he's quite trained, 167 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 1: he's quite proficient. He's not the white belt anymore. He 168 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: understands the language. He understands like the culture of training 169 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:32,960 Speaker 1: and the gym culture, and you know, sets and reps 170 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,720 Speaker 1: and volume and workload and recovery and progressive overload. He 171 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 1: understands the theory and the practicality, but I never at 172 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,680 Speaker 1: any stage taught him that intentionally. It's just a by 173 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 1: product of doing it and being around me. Also, the 174 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:53,559 Speaker 1: conversations that I can have with him now about research 175 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 1: and science and understand what we're bringing new things into 176 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,959 Speaker 1: the world, and all of the kind of the new 177 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,839 Speaker 1: wants of what it is to do academia at a 178 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:07,080 Speaker 1: high level, well that's totally changed as well, you know, 179 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 1: And you think, oh, isn't this Isn't this a nice 180 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,520 Speaker 1: byproduct where I've learned and evolved and grown and I 181 00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 1: have a different vocabulary, And he's influenced my worldview and 182 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:22,199 Speaker 1: my the way that I perceive and process and understand 183 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:26,280 Speaker 1: things for the better. Conversely, and I'll shut up after this, 184 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 1: But conversely, you know, and I had to say this, 185 00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:33,359 Speaker 1: but it's just true. Some people are fucking energy vampires. 186 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 1: And if you I know, a few of my friends 187 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,600 Speaker 1: and a few of my followers and listeners have spoken 188 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:43,079 Speaker 1: to me about the fact that they just happened to 189 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,839 Speaker 1: work with people who are versions, who are a version 190 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,440 Speaker 1: of that. They didn't choose them, they don't want to 191 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: be around them. They just situationally interwoven with them. Where 192 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 1: you know, and it's like, that's going to affect you 193 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 1: the other way. That's going to drag you down, that's 194 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:01,319 Speaker 1: going to fuck you. 195 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,200 Speaker 2: Up one percent. There's been several times I can recall 196 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:08,720 Speaker 2: in life where I have sat down, stepped back, looked 197 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 2: at things that are going on. The times I'm thinking 198 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,720 Speaker 2: of were good times, and I'm like, oh, you know, 199 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 2: I feel I'm getting great opportunities. There's really great stuff happening. 200 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 2: I feel really lucky, and I actually sit down and 201 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:24,480 Speaker 2: look at who I have intentionally spent time with. And 202 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 2: I remember, specifically twenty twenty when all that chaos was 203 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:33,240 Speaker 2: happening and I'd done so much net I'd created so 204 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 2: many great relationships through networking over the years that every 205 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 2: time I have transitioned from working to PT, from PT 206 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,280 Speaker 2: to podcasting and changed business well when I did Overseas 207 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 2: fitness treats, anytime I launched something and transitioned, there were 208 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:53,560 Speaker 2: support that those people supported me, and they weren't just 209 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,719 Speaker 2: business contacts. I'd actually I looked at them and I went, oh, 210 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,199 Speaker 2: they came from there, but I developed really strong relationship 211 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 2: and friendships with them, and that's why things are going well. 212 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,520 Speaker 2: And that's why I see the opportunities or create the 213 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:10,560 Speaker 2: opportunities and feel supported to do so. And it's it's 214 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,640 Speaker 2: not like it's not really luck, is it. It feels 215 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:16,320 Speaker 2: like luck, But when you look at the actions you've 216 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 2: taken and the places you've put yourself in, then it's 217 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 2: not really just luck. 218 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,319 Speaker 1: Well, you think about the process that you've been through. 219 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 1: If I get a bit of this wrong, correct me 220 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: on the dates and numbers. But for the last six 221 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 1: or so months with the group that you've been involved in, 222 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 1: the speaking group, so you're around all these people who 223 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 1: want to do what you do. Some of them have 224 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:41,840 Speaker 1: got no experience, some a little, some a bit, some 225 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 1: quite a bit. And then you've got this lady who's 226 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,080 Speaker 1: a mentor and a teacher and a coach, and there's 227 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,840 Speaker 1: this structure and there's this process, and there's this feedback 228 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: and accountability. But everybody's there because they want to get 229 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,600 Speaker 1: good at a thing. So there's this common theme and 230 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 1: goal and value that everybody has. And in the middle 231 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,679 Speaker 1: of that, I mean, it's hard to quantify, but I 232 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: would imagine you being in the middle of that for 233 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 1: six months might give you twenty four months of growth. 234 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,839 Speaker 1: If you didn't have that, you know, it might have 235 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,600 Speaker 1: taken you. You may not have ever got that growth. 236 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:21,840 Speaker 1: Like so you maybe progressed two years worth of natural 237 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 1: development in six months because you put yourself in a 238 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 1: situation where you were and yes, you actually learn things 239 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 1: and your applied protocols and ideas and concepts, but also 240 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 1: you were just in this pressure cooker. Maybe that's overstating it, 241 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,840 Speaker 1: but you're in this room, this metaphoric room, with all 242 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 1: these people that were like minded. Well, that's fucking that's 243 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 1: a beautiful way to evolve, and that's a beautiful way 244 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:53,719 Speaker 1: to swim in this soup of growth and potential and 245 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,400 Speaker 1: creativity and exploration. 246 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,800 Speaker 2: It was amazing. And you know what else, Earlier this year, 247 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:02,000 Speaker 2: I started spending a lot of time with another a speaker, 248 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,800 Speaker 2: somebody i'd had on my show years ago, and we 249 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,720 Speaker 2: started catching up, and then we started doing some work together, 250 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,360 Speaker 2: like co working space type stuff. And I thought, at 251 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:15,079 Speaker 2: the time, what's this guy because he's so much more 252 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,360 Speaker 2: experienced than me, and it all kind of feels like 253 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,680 Speaker 2: he spends his time teaching me, and I don't know 254 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:23,520 Speaker 2: what he's getting out of this. And we developed this 255 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:29,600 Speaker 2: beautiful relationship doing work together and creating opportunities, and eventually 256 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:33,000 Speaker 2: we like talking about it and he said, I need 257 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,200 Speaker 2: people that want to grow, and I saw you as 258 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:37,800 Speaker 2: someone that wants to grow, and I really appreciate having you, 259 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,400 Speaker 2: like I really it's nice to have you in my life. 260 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,240 Speaker 2: And now we're doing we're creating opportunities together. But it 261 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 2: was interesting how at first I was really perplexed. I'm like, 262 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,560 Speaker 2: I feel I kind of feel guilty. I'm not bringing 263 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,800 Speaker 2: anything to Like he's teaching me what he's gone out 264 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 2: and spent you know, money, time and resources and got 265 00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 2: runs on the board and now he's teaching me, And 266 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:03,320 Speaker 2: what is he getting out of this? He's getting exactly 267 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 2: what I just said i'd get out of business networking. 268 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 3: And it's valuable, yes, yes, yes, And I think there's 269 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,040 Speaker 3: you know, we don't always want everything to be strategic 270 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 3: or about the benefit for us. 271 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,240 Speaker 1: Obviously there can be the opposite of that, where we 272 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 1: just want to give because that's part of our value 273 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:24,560 Speaker 1: or one of our values. But when I think broadly 274 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:30,680 Speaker 1: about think about people that I want to be around, 275 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:34,560 Speaker 1: and not just because oh it's nice for me to 276 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,440 Speaker 1: help this person or whatever. No, forget that, but just 277 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,760 Speaker 1: like somebody that you had on your show recently, and 278 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 1: we've had on here two or three times, doctor Denesh 279 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 1: Palipana right now. For those of who don't know, Denesh 280 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:55,760 Speaker 1: is both a lawyer and a medical doctor. And he 281 00:15:55,800 --> 00:16:00,520 Speaker 1: became a lawyer and then started medicine and in third 282 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 1: or fourth he had a horrendous accident if I fuck 283 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 1: anything up, correct me became a quadriplegic with very limited 284 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 1: use of his arms. And anyway, this dude, and also 285 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:19,440 Speaker 1: he was Queensland Australian of the Year and he's like, 286 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 1: there is something about that dude that is almost this 287 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 1: is going to sound weird. I can't think of the 288 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,960 Speaker 1: right term, but all that comes to mind for me 289 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 1: almost otherworldly. Like he is like there is this spiritual, peaceful, 290 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,400 Speaker 1: beautiful energy. And that's a funny thing for a man 291 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 1: to say about a man. Don't give a fuck. He 292 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 1: is such a beautiful human. Yeah, and here's this dude 293 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:54,320 Speaker 1: in this wheelchair who there's so many things he can't do, 294 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 1: but with all his physical limitations, he's doing way more 295 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,520 Speaker 1: and I'm not trying to compare, but he does so much. 296 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,360 Speaker 1: And I saw him in Queensland when I was doing 297 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,720 Speaker 1: a gig a month and a half ago or something, 298 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 1: and you had him on recently, and when I saw him, 299 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:17,600 Speaker 1: I just I couldn't get enough of him, and I 300 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 1: just loved being around him, and he has you know, 301 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,439 Speaker 1: when you talk to people, and when you talk to 302 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 1: that person, it's like the rest of the world vanishes 303 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,960 Speaker 1: and you feel like you are the only person or 304 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:33,960 Speaker 1: thing in the world full that minute or ten that 305 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:38,240 Speaker 1: matters to that person. And he didn't do anything particular 306 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:41,800 Speaker 1: that made me feel special, but I'm like, look at you, 307 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 1: and I could tell he was tired because you'd just 308 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:49,480 Speaker 1: done a presentation and being a quadriplegic is exhausting because 309 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,919 Speaker 1: it takes so much more energy to do stuff that 310 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:56,640 Speaker 1: takes us less energy. But he couldn't just be kind enough. 311 00:17:56,640 --> 00:18:00,280 Speaker 1: And I'm like, wow, I wish I lived near him. 312 00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 1: I wish, you know, And that's very I'm saying that 313 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,760 Speaker 1: from a selfish point of view, but you know, so 314 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:09,879 Speaker 1: I came away from him energized. But also, you know, 315 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:13,320 Speaker 1: when you spend time around people who unknowingly and for 316 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:15,080 Speaker 1: the better shift your perspective. 317 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:15,560 Speaker 2: Yep. 318 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 1: And it's the same with Johnny that you know from 319 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,919 Speaker 1: the gym, and everybody's heard about Johnny, but it's like 320 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:24,040 Speaker 1: all of my friends who have real, you know, traumatic 321 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,440 Speaker 1: brain injuries or disabilities of you know, like whether or 322 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:32,320 Speaker 1: not spinal cord injuries or some kind of paralysis. It's yeah, 323 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:36,920 Speaker 1: they don't even have to say anything about perspective or gratitude. 324 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,119 Speaker 1: They don't even they don't need to teach me or 325 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,280 Speaker 1: tell me anything. I just need to be around them 326 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,400 Speaker 1: and it's good. And even if when I'm around them, 327 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,520 Speaker 1: I'm serving them and I'm just I promise you I 328 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 1: get more out of it than they do. 329 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:54,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's so it's fascinating because I remember 330 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:57,720 Speaker 2: when I finish that conversation and deneche said, we've ever 331 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 2: in Queensland. Come and have a coffee, And I had 332 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,159 Speaker 2: that sense of I kind of want to buy a 333 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:07,800 Speaker 2: ticket and go, guys, okay, I'll come up, I'll come 334 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,960 Speaker 2: up and visit you. Was like, that's a weird thing 335 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,400 Speaker 2: to feel, like with a podcast guess you've just met, 336 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,679 Speaker 2: But yeah, he had that really generous and you have 337 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 2: this sense of I kind of don't really, I'm not 338 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,880 Speaker 2: that interested in talking about the accident. Like there's something 339 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,520 Speaker 2: else entirely going on and I want to know about that, 340 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:26,879 Speaker 2: but I don't even know what it is. 341 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:31,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, there are some people that I don't know. 342 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,080 Speaker 1: This is not the right word though, I don't have 343 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:37,600 Speaker 1: the words that can truly kind of do justice. And 344 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,120 Speaker 1: it sounds a bit over the top. But there's something 345 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 1: special about some people, you know, And and it's like, 346 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,639 Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but I want to 347 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,200 Speaker 1: learn from you or I want to be a bit 348 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:54,919 Speaker 1: more like you, and yeah, but also on the flip 349 00:19:54,960 --> 00:20:02,080 Speaker 1: side of that coin, you know, sometimes I write things. 350 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,000 Speaker 1: I go to published to something on Instagram that I've written, 351 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,639 Speaker 1: and I go apart from what the message is and 352 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,879 Speaker 1: apart from the value that the people might get, what 353 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:14,120 Speaker 1: does this say about me? You know? It's like sometimes 354 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,360 Speaker 1: I write something and I'm like, is this too smart, assie? 355 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:24,560 Speaker 1: This is my intention actually good? Or am I you know, like, 356 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,199 Speaker 1: and there's a fine line, of course, and this is 357 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:31,399 Speaker 1: you know, reflective of my research and my PhD. But 358 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,159 Speaker 1: you know, he's understanding how we're perceived by others. And 359 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,080 Speaker 1: so while you do kind of want insight into how 360 00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 1: people perceive you. You don't want to be obsessed with it, 361 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,199 Speaker 1: because once you're obsessed and it's all about fear and 362 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:47,879 Speaker 1: insecurity and a desperate need for approval. But at the 363 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:52,640 Speaker 1: same time, I do think, I hope I'm a good 364 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:56,680 Speaker 1: person to be around. Like I hope that and not 365 00:20:56,680 --> 00:21:00,480 Speaker 1: not coming from a place of insecurity, but not odd 366 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,919 Speaker 1: do people like me and oh do they approve? But 367 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:07,159 Speaker 1: just that I hope I'm somewhere in the ballpark of 368 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,760 Speaker 1: densh or somewhere in the ballpark of Johnny or those 369 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 1: people that you just go, fuck, I love being around 370 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 1: that person. 371 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,600 Speaker 2: Can confirm do I need to do I need to 372 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,440 Speaker 2: get out the picture of the gorilla again? 373 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:25,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, thank you. I know that sounded fucking needy. 374 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,000 Speaker 1: I didn't mean it too, but I just think, you know, 375 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,119 Speaker 1: when you meet people like that, you go, you're amazing. 376 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,960 Speaker 1: I go, I hope I'm a little bit like you. 377 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:35,800 Speaker 2: Well that kind of leads to what I was thinking. 378 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,720 Speaker 2: The question I was going to ask was can there's 379 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:42,080 Speaker 2: a lot of stuff that I think we operationalize and 380 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,239 Speaker 2: teach and can you teach that or do you just 381 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:48,480 Speaker 2: need to be around it. Like sometimes I get annoyed 382 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:52,199 Speaker 2: at what people are teaching in a craft when I 383 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,359 Speaker 2: think it should even around pluck speaking, I go, well 384 00:21:55,880 --> 00:22:00,439 Speaker 2: speak speaking, Like if you're just interested and have to 385 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,720 Speaker 2: worry about the mechanics of your voice and your pitch 386 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,240 Speaker 2: and your this and your that. Like, if you're just interested, 387 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:12,680 Speaker 2: you'll be so embedded in listening, and you'll feel empathy 388 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,800 Speaker 2: and you'll be curious, and all of those things just happen. 389 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,240 Speaker 2: And I think, is it the same thing when you go, 390 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,680 Speaker 2: I don't I want to be more like that person? 391 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,680 Speaker 2: You can't get a checklist and then act it out 392 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,480 Speaker 2: because that's not it. That's the opposite of what you 393 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,399 Speaker 2: want to be, because then that's just manipulation. Is go, well, 394 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 2: I want to be whatever that is. If I'm around it, 395 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 2: hopefully i'll become it a little bit. It'll just change me. 396 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,320 Speaker 1: That's very true, and that's very insightful. It's like the 397 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:48,720 Speaker 1: difference between pretending you're humble and being humble, pretending you're 398 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:53,120 Speaker 1: grateful and actually having gratitude. You know, that's virtue signaling 399 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,840 Speaker 1: when oh, look at It's like I posted a thing 400 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,240 Speaker 1: the other day about all these people that are putting 401 00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:04,359 Speaker 1: up fucking random acts of kindness on social media to 402 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 1: make themselves look great. And this random act of kindness 403 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:13,160 Speaker 1: has been filmed with three cameras and recorded with perfect 404 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:18,520 Speaker 1: audio and scripted and produce like a fucking Hollywood movie. 405 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,000 Speaker 1: And then it gets put on. So oh, this just 406 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,040 Speaker 1: this thing just happened. No it didn't. You motherfucker. You 407 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:27,280 Speaker 1: scripted it, you planned it, and there's nothing real or 408 00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 1: raw or kind or generous. And it's okay, but do 409 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,280 Speaker 1: you know, set it up and go we set this up. 410 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 1: That's cool. I would respect you if you went this 411 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,600 Speaker 1: was all set up. But when you say to me 412 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:44,760 Speaker 1: this was a spontaneous event, and it clearly wasn't, you know, 413 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,040 Speaker 1: I probably shouldn't have got that fired up then, But 414 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And that's that's the difference. Though. 415 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,800 Speaker 1: It's like I'm not in you know, the people I'm 416 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:59,440 Speaker 1: impressed by are not who most people would be impressed by. 417 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,960 Speaker 1: I've been around lots of wealth and lots of famous people, 418 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:08,160 Speaker 1: and lots of elite athletes, and not that they're bad, 419 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,359 Speaker 1: they're not. But like the elite athletes that I really loved, 420 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,200 Speaker 1: I loved them because of who they were not because 421 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,639 Speaker 1: they were a gold medalist or an AFL player or 422 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,879 Speaker 1: a fucking whatever I did. It's like I've worked with 423 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 1: people that were really high profile and great athletes that 424 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:27,119 Speaker 1: I really didn't like much at all, and if I 425 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:31,000 Speaker 1: never saw them again, I'd be kind of happy, right So, 426 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:35,200 Speaker 1: and then other people who you know, like it and 427 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,720 Speaker 1: the AFL system, blokes that hardly could get a kick 428 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,520 Speaker 1: or a game, I just fucking love them because they're 429 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:42,600 Speaker 1: just great humans. 430 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,400 Speaker 2: You know, Well, think about based on what I said before, 431 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,760 Speaker 2: and then the idea of what's the impact of us 432 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:53,360 Speaker 2: excepting blindly and not questioning the fact that if that's 433 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:56,119 Speaker 2: what we're looking at, going, oh, random acts of kindness? Oh, 434 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:57,880 Speaker 2: used to something that you see and then you show 435 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:02,520 Speaker 2: people and tell people about that. Can we change unwillingly 436 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,240 Speaker 2: to go, well, that's kindness when it's not the opposite 437 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,840 Speaker 2: of kinds? Is that changing us? Oh we're kind when 438 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,679 Speaker 2: people watch, we're kind when we plan it. Theno's not 439 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,680 Speaker 2: actually a natural state. So we're not naturally being around kindness. 440 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,919 Speaker 2: We're watching it and then looking for a way to 441 00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:20,200 Speaker 2: replicate that in front of people. 442 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,040 Speaker 1: Well, and this is why you know that old Craig 443 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 1: Harpet chestnut. I'm which I can never know because but 444 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 1: I'm most interested in what people do when no one's looking. 445 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,320 Speaker 1: Because what people do when no one's looking or they 446 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 1: think no one's looking, what they're doing in the darkness 447 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 1: away from the light, what where they're doing behind closed doors, 448 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,920 Speaker 1: whatever fucking metaphor you want to use, that tells you 449 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 1: who they are. And it also I put myself in 450 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,640 Speaker 1: that I'm not going, oh, people do this. And this 451 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,479 Speaker 1: is the other thing about self awareness and personal growth. 452 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,360 Speaker 1: When we sit on here, you and I and we go, oh, 453 00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,880 Speaker 1: people do this, and people do that, we're also saying, oh, 454 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 1: but we don't because we're better. But the truth is 455 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,640 Speaker 1: we're not. Well, I'm not anyway. There are times when 456 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,879 Speaker 1: I'm a fucking faky schmaky. I don't want to be, 457 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:08,960 Speaker 1: but I know that I'll get on this show because 458 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:10,960 Speaker 1: I can string a few words together, and I can 459 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:15,440 Speaker 1: sound articulate, noble and fucking all these things. And then 460 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,000 Speaker 1: I get off and I'm a cunt to someone. I'm like, 461 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:22,280 Speaker 1: what is wrong with you? Like and that? But the 462 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,640 Speaker 1: challenge is too, well, let's hope I'm not a cunt 463 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:28,840 Speaker 1: to anyone too often. But the challenge is, the challenge 464 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:33,679 Speaker 1: is just to like own your shit and go do it. Like, 465 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:35,639 Speaker 1: do I ever still look for approval? 466 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:36,160 Speaker 2: I do? 467 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:40,080 Speaker 1: I do? I try not to. Am I ever a 468 00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 1: people pleaser? Well less than ever, but periodically, yes, you know, 469 00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:50,919 Speaker 1: do I ever tell a lie? Because I think it's 470 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,879 Speaker 1: the right thing to say in like a lie for 471 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 1: a good reason? 472 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:55,480 Speaker 2: Sure? 473 00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:59,960 Speaker 1: Do you know? Should I? I don't know if I 474 00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,119 Speaker 1: tell a little lie? Oh, we even quantify the size 475 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:06,160 Speaker 1: of the fucking light and make ourselves feel better. Oh 476 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:09,760 Speaker 1: it was a little lie, you know. But to not 477 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 1: hurt someone's feelings or to protect someone, Oh, that's a 478 00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:16,800 Speaker 1: whole philosophical ethical fucking landmine or minefield we don't want 479 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:21,719 Speaker 1: to step into. But yeah, I think, you know, I 480 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,960 Speaker 1: think being able to have a level of self awareness 481 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:29,439 Speaker 1: when I think it's really dangerous territory When people in 482 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:34,200 Speaker 1: personal development like you and me, we don't put ourselves 483 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,160 Speaker 1: in the middle of these problems, you know. Virtue signaling? 484 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:41,520 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, people do that. H Craig, do you think 485 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:47,080 Speaker 1: you've ever done it? Yep? Hey Craig, have you ever virtual? Yes? Hey, Craig, 486 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:51,120 Speaker 1: have you ever wanted attention, Yes, Craig. Do you ever 487 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:56,800 Speaker 1: seek approval? Yes? Right, So this is the the I think, 488 00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:01,560 Speaker 1: the very practical, real kind of awareness that you need 489 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 1: to have when you put yourself in a space that 490 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:10,320 Speaker 1: you're probably not qualified per se to be in where 491 00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 1: you're dispensing advice to the world, right, And that's you know, 492 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,240 Speaker 1: not that we give advice, but we kind of do 493 00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:20,840 Speaker 1: you know, when we all always go by the way 494 00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:23,879 Speaker 1: where this is not personal prescription, this is not a recommendation, 495 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,280 Speaker 1: this is not advice, and then we basically give people advice, 496 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,680 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Yeah, it's like, well you 497 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,720 Speaker 1: kind of ah, you're fucking idiot. Have you heard the show? 498 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:36,720 Speaker 2: You know? 499 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:41,960 Speaker 1: So that's that where you go, Look, I'm I'm you know, 500 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,520 Speaker 1: I'm qualified out a few things, and I've got a 501 00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:48,520 Speaker 1: bit of knowledge and a bit of experience and some 502 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 1: thoughts and ideas and insights. I'm going to share from 503 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:54,959 Speaker 1: that space and just know I'm going to get things 504 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:59,520 Speaker 1: wrong forever, So you can probably be rest assured on 505 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,040 Speaker 1: this pod cast and most I'm going to get at 506 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,720 Speaker 1: least one thing wrong, maybe ten, But knowing that I'm 507 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,600 Speaker 1: pretty sure so to most podcasters and most people because 508 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 1: I was going to say every podcaster is human, which 509 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,520 Speaker 1: is not true anymore. Some of them are AI. But 510 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:18,040 Speaker 1: let's just stick with the human ones for now, before 511 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 1: we all morph into fucking, you know, some synthesis of 512 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,840 Speaker 1: biology and technology and we don't know what's fucking what 513 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,680 Speaker 1: is that real TIF or shudos? Oh no, that's a 514 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:29,760 Speaker 1: tiff bot? Fuck me drunk? 515 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:34,440 Speaker 2: What we could already be part AI? Like we might 516 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,960 Speaker 2: already be a thing We've just our consciousness has been 517 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,320 Speaker 2: put into a machine. Like maybe maybe if I cut 518 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,640 Speaker 2: myself open, I'm like eating Maybe. 519 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,720 Speaker 1: Maybe maybe you have blue goop that just seeps out 520 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:47,760 Speaker 1: like engine oil. 521 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:52,440 Speaker 2: The other day, doctor Libby Weaver said this, and it 522 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,160 Speaker 2: popped into my mind the last few days, and I 523 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,520 Speaker 2: went on, I'm going to sit down and think about this. 524 00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:00,960 Speaker 2: She said it was off the calf in the middle 525 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:04,120 Speaker 2: of a sentence. She goes, our voids, Our voids create 526 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:07,360 Speaker 2: our values, and it just stuck out and I grabbed 527 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,640 Speaker 2: it and I was like, oh, our voids create our values. 528 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,280 Speaker 2: And I was like, I'd like to sit down and 529 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:15,680 Speaker 2: look at my values and then explore I don't know 530 00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:17,720 Speaker 2: where that came from. Where's the void? And have I 531 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,880 Speaker 2: addressed it, and is it still there? And do you 532 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,560 Speaker 2: know what I mean? I just found that really interesting 533 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:27,440 Speaker 2: statement that for some reason my brain grabbed hold of. 534 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:34,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't disagree. I think that a lot 535 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,959 Speaker 1: of things are like I think I understand that. So 536 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,960 Speaker 1: if I'm lacking health, then I might want to get health, right, 537 00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,920 Speaker 1: so health might be a void. So therefore that becomes 538 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,719 Speaker 1: a priority or a value or a goal. So that 539 00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,160 Speaker 1: makes sense. And then I think I thought of this. 540 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:51,200 Speaker 2: I thought to myself, Oh, if honesty is a value, 541 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:54,040 Speaker 2: If honesty is a value, am I honest? When haven't? I? Like, 542 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,880 Speaker 2: what's where would that have come from? If there was 543 00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:01,160 Speaker 2: if there was a void, Yes, it was interesting to me. 544 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:05,720 Speaker 1: But that might have come from Potentially, let's just focus 545 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,760 Speaker 1: on that one thing honest to you. Maybe that came 546 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,880 Speaker 1: from experiences with people bullshitting you a lot. 547 00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,360 Speaker 2: And people I know, I know where it came from. 548 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,720 Speaker 2: It came from my childhood and keeping a secret, right, 549 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:20,320 Speaker 2: So that's not honest, So I think, is that? But 550 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,680 Speaker 2: then I go, what's another value of mine? Oh? Safety 551 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:25,800 Speaker 2: and security? Do I have that? Am I secure? Do 552 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:27,160 Speaker 2: I give other people security? 553 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:27,280 Speaker 1: No? 554 00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:30,160 Speaker 2: I haven't. In the past I'm learning to, but I 555 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,760 Speaker 2: think I've been really elusive. I've been ready to fucking 556 00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:34,880 Speaker 2: run and go to the next phase of life and 557 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 2: leave everyone behind because it's like, well that's not secure 558 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,880 Speaker 2: for them. So yeah, it just makes I want to 559 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:43,960 Speaker 2: sit down and think about all those things and go, 560 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,560 Speaker 2: what do you still have trades that are a bit 561 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:48,440 Speaker 2: shitped then like are you representing the things you say 562 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:50,840 Speaker 2: you value or you were just looking for them out 563 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,560 Speaker 2: there in the world and not giving them back. 564 00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:59,840 Speaker 1: M Yeah. As the more I think about that idea, 565 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,520 Speaker 1: the more things come to mind that fit in, and 566 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,280 Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, that's actually pretty smart. And for me, 567 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:10,320 Speaker 1: I'm thinking about like really high when I'm what I 568 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:13,760 Speaker 1: need from and you know this what I need from 569 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:15,960 Speaker 1: which is not say I deserve it or I should 570 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,560 Speaker 1: get it, but what I need from friends is loyalty 571 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:26,240 Speaker 1: because I've had disloyalty. And yeah, it's like I would 572 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:32,200 Speaker 1: I won't say who because I don't it's kind of inappropriate. 573 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,480 Speaker 1: But I've got a friend who, from the outside looking in, 574 00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,120 Speaker 1: I'll tell you are fair a really good friend, someone 575 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:45,280 Speaker 1: I love deeply. And this person I've known since I 576 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:49,160 Speaker 1: was twenty. We even lived together for a period of time, 577 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:51,920 Speaker 1: and from the outside looking in, this person is so 578 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:56,800 Speaker 1: like average, so not spectacular, not hilarious, not charismatic, not 579 00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:00,880 Speaker 1: you know, like got his own beautiful skills and qualities 580 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:04,960 Speaker 1: and attributes. But if he was somewhere, he wouldn't stand out. 581 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:12,920 Speaker 1: But this motherfucker is just the most consistent, reliable, loyal, awesome, 582 00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:18,400 Speaker 1: never wavered, never been any different for forty years. Apart 583 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,400 Speaker 1: from Vinn of course, who's my longest standing friend and 584 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:27,760 Speaker 1: best mate. But this and it's like, oh, somebody I 585 00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,400 Speaker 1: was thinking about this guy. Fuck it, I'm just going 586 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,600 Speaker 1: to say his name, Greg. I love Greg, right, But 587 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,440 Speaker 1: Greg's just an average dude, but a great dude. But 588 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:40,880 Speaker 1: I love Greg more than anything, just because I always 589 00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:45,120 Speaker 1: know what I'm gonna get. I've never, for one moment thought, 590 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,000 Speaker 1: oh he's going to talk behind my back, he's going 591 00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,160 Speaker 1: to rip me off. I've never thought, oh, this friendship 592 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:54,080 Speaker 1: is strategic. He wants something. It's never never, he never 593 00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:57,760 Speaker 1: demands anything. Now, I know that's not gonna that's not 594 00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:00,880 Speaker 1: what necessarily anyone else needs, but that's what I love. 595 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:05,480 Speaker 1: So you can give me the flamboyant, charismatic, charming, high 596 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:09,799 Speaker 1: profile super successful, fucking just come in and charm the 597 00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:14,160 Speaker 1: room and yeah, you know, if they also happen to 598 00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:16,640 Speaker 1: have all the other stuff, well then yeah maybe. But 599 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:20,640 Speaker 1: for me, it's like what really appeals to me about 600 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:26,799 Speaker 1: people is not what generally attracts other people. Like a 601 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:29,799 Speaker 1: lot of people are attracted by the rah rah and 602 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:33,640 Speaker 1: the looks and the brand. And I'm not saying they 603 00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:37,040 Speaker 1: shouldn't be, but I'm just not. And I think because 604 00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:39,680 Speaker 1: I've been around it a lot and I see behind 605 00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:43,600 Speaker 1: the curtain, which is not to say that everybody who's 606 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:49,120 Speaker 1: killing it publicly is doing it poorly privately. It's not 607 00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,279 Speaker 1: to say that, but I've seen behind a lot of curtains, 608 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,600 Speaker 1: and the show is rarely the reality. 609 00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,120 Speaker 2: I also think it takes us a long time, and 610 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,760 Speaker 2: there'd be a lot of people who don't know, maybe 611 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:05,960 Speaker 2: never never start the process, but even understand what they 612 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:11,719 Speaker 2: respond to or connect within people, what they love about them, 613 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,000 Speaker 2: why they want to spend time with them, and whether 614 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,400 Speaker 2: that's a good thing or not a good thing. You know, 615 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:19,800 Speaker 2: people have so many lists when it comes to relationships. 616 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:21,640 Speaker 2: People have so many lists. I was talking about it 617 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:25,439 Speaker 2: with a client the other day. We have lists and 618 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:30,400 Speaker 2: they're ridiculous, and we don't always understand why we do 619 00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:34,319 Speaker 2: or don't want to spend time with particular people. We 620 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,240 Speaker 2: just align it with something on the list. 621 00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:43,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, right, right? Do you like do your relationships And 622 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:47,040 Speaker 1: I know it probably depends on which relationships and the context, 623 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:51,680 Speaker 1: but do they do they evolve organically or do you 624 00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:54,640 Speaker 1: ever go which, by the way, I don't think what 625 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:55,960 Speaker 1: I'm about to say is a bad thing. Do you 626 00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:57,719 Speaker 1: ever go I want to hang out with them, I 627 00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:01,720 Speaker 1: want to get to know them, or like is it organic? 628 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:05,799 Speaker 1: Is it more strategic or planned? So you might say 629 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:07,520 Speaker 1: with me, which is not a bad thing, it was 630 00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:10,000 Speaker 1: more strategic than an organic in that. 631 00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,239 Speaker 2: It was very strategic with you from a couple of 632 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:20,040 Speaker 2: like obviously for what you did, but also driven by 633 00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:26,560 Speaker 2: the how authentic you were and how much I connected 634 00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,120 Speaker 2: with your personality. So I was like, I want to 635 00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,200 Speaker 2: I actually want to be around that guy because I 636 00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:33,799 Speaker 2: like the effect that he has on me. I like 637 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:35,840 Speaker 2: the messages he delivers, and I like the people that 638 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:37,680 Speaker 2: connect with him. So I would just want to be 639 00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:42,719 Speaker 2: around immersed in that and see what I can what 640 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,279 Speaker 2: can evolve in me when I do that. In the 641 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:49,240 Speaker 2: last couple of years. Last probably eighteen months, I wrote 642 00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:53,480 Speaker 2: five names on my whiteboard a real after reflecting on 643 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:59,240 Speaker 2: the fact that I don't h were you always joke joked, 644 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,880 Speaker 2: probably still do about the fact that I wear a 645 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,440 Speaker 2: T shirt that says give me a How'm gonna hat 646 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,839 Speaker 2: that says fuck off, though, And I was like, I 647 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,200 Speaker 2: have a very poker face, and I don't and I'm 648 00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:11,880 Speaker 2: been very, very very busy, and so I don't invest 649 00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,960 Speaker 2: in relationships. But I have a handful of people who 650 00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:17,640 Speaker 2: I love and would consider very close friends, but they 651 00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,000 Speaker 2: don't know because I don't tell them and I probably 652 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,520 Speaker 2: don't see them all that much. So I wrote five 653 00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,799 Speaker 2: or six names on the probably five on the whiteboard, 654 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:29,320 Speaker 2: and that was my reminder to pick up the phone, 655 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,400 Speaker 2: to say I love you, to spend time, to invest 656 00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:35,360 Speaker 2: in the relationships, to make time, and to connect with 657 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,319 Speaker 2: them like I had to do that at forty one. 658 00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:40,480 Speaker 2: I had to write names on a whiteboard and go, 659 00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:44,480 Speaker 2: this is how you cultivate good, solid R because I 660 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:48,920 Speaker 2: can go through photos and look at friendships that have 661 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,680 Speaker 2: that are now in the past for no good reason. 662 00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:56,880 Speaker 2: But I didn't express needs or thoughts or ideas, and 663 00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:59,160 Speaker 2: I didn't question it. Where just things evolved and you 664 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,640 Speaker 2: go that post obviously that person's a mole that don't 665 00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:04,360 Speaker 2: give a shit fuck and I'll move on. You go, 666 00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:07,279 Speaker 2: how many good friendships do you? One of my very 667 00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:09,759 Speaker 2: best mates caught and if he was in Perth. We 668 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,200 Speaker 2: didn't talk for no good reason for a couple of 669 00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:15,239 Speaker 2: years because you know, Chinese whispers and bullshit and you 670 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:18,160 Speaker 2: just go, you know what. She moved to Amsterdam and 671 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:21,759 Speaker 2: I had an abandon abandonment issues, so I pulled. But 672 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,160 Speaker 2: I recognized that I pulled back hanging out with her 673 00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:27,719 Speaker 2: merely because deep down I was like, fuck it. Now, 674 00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,680 Speaker 2: see you get a best mate and they fuck off. 675 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,040 Speaker 2: So I was like, I just won't spend time with her. 676 00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,359 Speaker 2: Fuck her then and then we have a falling out 677 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,120 Speaker 2: and after a couple of years, it was her birthday 678 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:40,080 Speaker 2: one year and I messaged and I was like, I 679 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,399 Speaker 2: miss you. I have a great birthday. You probably don't 680 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:44,040 Speaker 2: want to hear from me. But and now we're best 681 00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:47,800 Speaker 2: is again. It's like, that's all it took. How ridiculous? 682 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:52,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's I wrote this thing which I want 683 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,759 Speaker 1: to read with some It's it's not exactly that, but 684 00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,600 Speaker 1: I'm always interested by and I've spoken about it probably 685 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:05,560 Speaker 1: fifty times on their show. But like the experience of 686 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:10,080 Speaker 1: getting offended or getting hurt, you know, and you might 687 00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:14,439 Speaker 1: have read it, but I wrote, if somebody really wants 688 00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:19,400 Speaker 1: to get offended, they'll find a way. The perpetually offend, Oh, 689 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:24,880 Speaker 1: the perpetually offended is a rapidly expanding group people who 690 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,399 Speaker 1: get offended fifty times a day. Nothing is ever their 691 00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:29,960 Speaker 1: fault and then never the problem, which is super convenient 692 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:33,160 Speaker 1: because it means they never have to take responsibility, they 693 00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:35,040 Speaker 1: never have to change, and they always get to be 694 00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:39,279 Speaker 1: mad at someone else, you know. And it's like you 695 00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:42,640 Speaker 1: can and I've done that, you know where I've created this, 696 00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:46,040 Speaker 1: you know, this story in my head about why this 697 00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:49,360 Speaker 1: person doesn't like me or they abandon me or And 698 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:51,760 Speaker 1: there are some cases where that proved to be true, 699 00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,560 Speaker 1: in some cases where it proved to be a complete 700 00:39:54,600 --> 00:40:00,640 Speaker 1: fiction created by me. And it is that is difficult 701 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:04,239 Speaker 1: to but really, for you at forty one, to be 702 00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,279 Speaker 1: able to go, I need to literally write this on 703 00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,960 Speaker 1: the board. I need to write these names on the 704 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,880 Speaker 1: board so that that brings to my attention, so that 705 00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:19,280 Speaker 1: I actually invest energy proactively into keeping these relationships healthy 706 00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:23,600 Speaker 1: because it isn't only about what you need, it's about 707 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:27,080 Speaker 1: what you can give, Like what can you give them? 708 00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:29,600 Speaker 1: Why the fuck would they want to be your friend? 709 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,680 Speaker 1: What do they get? You know? And I know it's 710 00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:36,000 Speaker 1: not meant to be like that, but it's like, well, 711 00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:39,000 Speaker 1: you know, and I do have friends where it's a 712 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,960 Speaker 1: little upsided. I'm going to say, but they're essentially good people. 713 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,040 Speaker 1: But I'm like, fuck, I'm glad that this is not 714 00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:48,719 Speaker 1: a business relationship because I'd go and fucking broke. Yeah. 715 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,440 Speaker 2: I just got to a point where I went, if 716 00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:56,680 Speaker 2: there's enough people sliding into past friendships, what am I 717 00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:58,840 Speaker 2: not bringing to the table that makes it easy to 718 00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:03,120 Speaker 2: walk away from without without a conversation, without someone going hey, hey, 719 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:06,120 Speaker 2: you're fucking letting me down, Hey, you're not being the 720 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,600 Speaker 2: best mate. They just walk away, Like, if that's happening 721 00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:12,919 Speaker 2: enough times, you have to go, Okay, I shouldn't be that. Yeah, 722 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:15,400 Speaker 2: there are some assholes in the world that probably you know, 723 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:18,280 Speaker 2: you're never going to stay friends with forever, that's cool. 724 00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:21,879 Speaker 2: But if it's happening enough times and you're not even 725 00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:25,600 Speaker 2: having conversations or reflecting, so yeah, I just had to 726 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:27,880 Speaker 2: start looking and taking ownership and going well, do you 727 00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,480 Speaker 2: ever have a difficult conversation? Thank fuck for Craig Anthony 728 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:34,000 Speaker 2: Harper taught me the art. Yeah, but I didn't do 729 00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:36,320 Speaker 2: it before then. I was terrified. I'd rather walk away. 730 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:40,440 Speaker 2: I'd fucking move. I'd move to a different state. Yeah, 731 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,200 Speaker 2: Sonnier in Queensland. I'll just go there. I'll make new 732 00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:43,879 Speaker 2: friends there. 733 00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:48,040 Speaker 1: It's funny how many people think that a geographic change 734 00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:51,560 Speaker 1: will fix some deep seated emotional Yeah. No, I'll just 735 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:54,399 Speaker 1: go to Queensland. Well, you'll take all your shit with 736 00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:58,520 Speaker 1: your champ. All that emotional and psychological baggage will be 737 00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:04,600 Speaker 1: on the fucking carousel, or when you get there, it'll 738 00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:07,440 Speaker 1: be Brisbane Airport. All your shit will be going around 739 00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:09,840 Speaker 1: and you'll you'll pick it back up, you'll put it 740 00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,400 Speaker 1: in the cab and you'll take it to your new place. 741 00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:16,640 Speaker 1: Because that shit doesn't go anywhere unless you fucking deal 742 00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:19,759 Speaker 1: with it, you know. And this is the heat. Trying 743 00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:24,480 Speaker 1: to solve psychological and emotional issues with geographical solutions is 744 00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:28,239 Speaker 1: really fucking common, and people go ah, you know, with 745 00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:31,280 Speaker 1: the one exception being perhaps people who are in really 746 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:35,600 Speaker 1: horrible relationships. But that's more a practical thing. But but yeah, 747 00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:40,080 Speaker 1: it is a it's an interesting part of the human 748 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:41,160 Speaker 1: experience where. 749 00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:44,480 Speaker 2: We do that unless you unless you really know what 750 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,800 Speaker 2: you're escaping, unless you've done the work and you go, Okay, 751 00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:49,920 Speaker 2: what I've set up in my life here and what 752 00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:52,880 Speaker 2: surrounds me is this energy and thing, and this is 753 00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:56,560 Speaker 2: where I've been getting it wrong. Now I know what 754 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,320 Speaker 2: I will do differently. I could also have a fresh 755 00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:03,480 Speaker 2: start somewhere where else, but you have to know otherwise, Yeah, 756 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:04,880 Speaker 2: you end up in the same cycle. 757 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:09,880 Speaker 1: Hondo. Hey, I really enjoyed this talk. Me too, I 758 00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,600 Speaker 1: really enjoy I'm not just saying that I really enjoyed it. 759 00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:14,920 Speaker 1: I was actually going to talk about something else as 760 00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:18,560 Speaker 1: is off and the way, Hi, I've actually got next 761 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,480 Speaker 1: to your head on my screen. I've got this thing 762 00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:23,359 Speaker 1: that I wrote that I was going to unpack with 763 00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:27,960 Speaker 1: you that I didn't read. But in light of what 764 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,600 Speaker 1: we just shared, I think what's on my screen is dogshit. 765 00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:34,719 Speaker 1: So I'm glad we didn't go there. So I'm like, well, 766 00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:41,400 Speaker 1: that would have been boring as fuck. Ah. Yeah, hey, cook, 767 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:45,680 Speaker 1: it's been good, thanks so much. And you know, see 768 00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:47,080 Speaker 1: around like a sausage roll. 769 00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:49,400 Speaker 2: Thanks APS,