1 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:08,080 Speaker 1: With Kate podcast. Let's talk dating guys. If you are 2 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: single at the moment, there's one phrase you need to 3 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: stop saying, according to a dating expert, and that's the 4 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:18,439 Speaker 1: answer the question do you have a partner? Why not? 5 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,239 Speaker 1: And they're saying, don't use the phrase I just haven't 6 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: met the right person yet. What they're saying because this 7 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: avoids you recognizing some of the patterns that you may 8 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:33,879 Speaker 1: have formed that you don't even realize you've created. And 9 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:38,160 Speaker 1: that's why you are single, because you're not waiting, you're repeating. 10 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,839 Speaker 2: They go on to say, so you said that there 11 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:41,960 Speaker 2: were five words. 12 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 3: What are they? 13 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 1: I haven't met the right person yet. 14 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 3: That's it. 15 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it. I thought it was seven words. 16 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,279 Speaker 3: I pot the five words that you don't want to hear. 17 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 3: Will you fit inside this? 18 00:00:56,200 --> 00:01:00,319 Speaker 1: No, because that's going to take some. 19 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 3: Explorer guys, mind out of the gutter. 20 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:06,759 Speaker 1: No, I know what you mean, box, you know, like. 21 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:12,000 Speaker 3: A psycho ask, may you know? Are you seeing anybody? 22 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,959 Speaker 2: Go? Oh god, I could think nothing worse, which I 23 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:16,840 Speaker 2: think is probably not the right. 24 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: No, that's not the right answer, and that's maybe why 25 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: you're not giving off the right vibe swany because you're 26 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 1: not reading signals, but you're not seeing moments like if 27 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:29,839 Speaker 1: you find yourself Swanny shared on the show not long ago, 28 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,839 Speaker 1: you found yourself in a stairwell with a guy who 29 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:34,479 Speaker 1: you thought was going to do a balloon trick. 30 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 3: Yes, now you're going to do a magic trick. 31 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 1: He's going to make his tongue disappear into your mouth, Swanny. 32 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: But yeah, that's what he was thinking, was he? So 33 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 1: not only did you misread the eye contact you would 34 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,600 Speaker 1: have been receiving for most of the night. When he 35 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 1: then said we should chat over here, you misread that 36 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 1: as well. And then it got to the final crunch, 37 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 1: and you assumed that he was going to turn into 38 00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 1: a magician. 39 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 3: And a poodle watch me. 40 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:08,800 Speaker 1: And then I assume you just wander off and continue 41 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: on with the night. How did you go out with cost. 42 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 3: Do you know what so weird? 43 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 2: He would only perform if there was like a big orchestra. 44 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 3: Going on in the background. 45 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 1: Do you remember the book the game that came out? 46 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,519 Speaker 4: I remember the movie with Michael Douglas. 47 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,640 Speaker 1: Oh was it a movie too, Neil? 48 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 2: They were different that different things was filmed by the way, 49 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 2: It's fantastic unbelievable movie, unbelievable game about it all the time. 50 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 1: The game would talk about pickup techniques and different things 51 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,240 Speaker 1: you could do to get people's attention and why it works. 52 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,840 Speaker 1: And he would This guy spoke about classes that he 53 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 1: would hold mainly with guys to try and get the 54 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: attention of girls. He would say. He would say things 55 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 1: like there was a whole chapter on negging someone? Do 56 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:57,959 Speaker 1: you remember that? Swany where? 57 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 2: He would say, I don't know what any man would 58 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 2: take advice from another man? 59 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 1: No like that, so crap. But the other thing was 60 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 1: one of his techniques was magic. So he said, if 61 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:11,919 Speaker 1: you go to a bar and sit at the bar 62 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:16,919 Speaker 1: with a deck of cards and just start thumbing you 63 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 1: away through, it won't be long. Do you get a 64 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: girl next day? 65 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 3: Are you joking? 66 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 1: No? 67 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 4: I no, can I I bold back that up because 68 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 4: I don't believe. I don't get into magicians at all. 69 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 4: But I had to make Johnny Kinkstrom that could make 70 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 4: a cigarette disappear in front of your eyes. 71 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,119 Speaker 1: You're good at doing that. One fits too, and he 72 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: taught me how to do it. 73 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 4: A Swedish guy taught him how to do it, so 74 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 4: he would just hold up a cigarette, just simple and 75 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 4: he would go one, two, three, and it was gone, swanny, 76 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 4: and then it would come back. And I saw him 77 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 4: caught a lady by doing that, and she was so 78 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 4: impressed that he ended up pashing her that night. 79 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 1: It was an un believable thing that I saw. Do 80 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: you know what? Wow? Our friend Magic Mike, not a stripper, 81 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 1: Magic Mike, his girlfriend. They met when he was sitting 82 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: at the bar with a pack of cards. 83 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 3: Seriously, did he read that in the game. 84 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,920 Speaker 1: No, I don't know if he did, but he was naturally. 85 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,320 Speaker 2: To take back my thing about what who would take 86 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,480 Speaker 2: advice from that? I would never have thought that a 87 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 2: card game would get you some action, but there you go. 88 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,359 Speaker 1: If if he buys you a drink and makes the 89 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: ace of space from behind your ear, you'd be going, Wow, 90 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 1: what else can this guy? Do? 91 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 2: You know? 92 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:39,120 Speaker 4: I saw a kid in a school uniform and on 93 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,599 Speaker 4: the four four two the other day to now Maine, 94 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 4: and he was he was doing theseeli So he was 95 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,960 Speaker 4: training his hands with us, with the deck of cards 96 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 4: with and I asked him what he was doing because 97 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 4: I'm thinking, does this kid want to be a group 98 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 4: here at the Star or something like? What is he 99 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,919 Speaker 4: doing He said, no, no, no, I'm learning to be 100 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:01,039 Speaker 4: a magician and I'm trying to like the way that 101 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 4: he was just flicking his cards around, and he said, 102 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 4: I do this every day on the way to school 103 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,359 Speaker 4: and on the way home from school on the bus. 104 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 1: And he was just training himself some so just to 105 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: jump in fits. He had eight ladies around him, and 106 00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: then you tried to kiss him. Some magicians don't like 107 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 1: to be called magicians. They're illusionists. You have to be 108 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: very clear, like you can offend my God. 109 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 3: But I can, I can, I can make any man disappear. 110 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 1: This is the Whip with Cape Ritchie podcast. Let's talk 111 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 1: about red flags because they spent a debate online about 112 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: this one. And to the person who wrote this article 113 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,839 Speaker 1: on the Daily Mail, I just thought i'd ask you 114 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: to think about your wording. I just read this bit. 115 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:51,120 Speaker 1: The part the post sparked mixed reactions with some reckoning 116 00:05:51,400 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 1: photos should be deleted? Reckoning, Wow, good luck, reckoningct terribly English? 117 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: Is it? Yes? Terrible, Chrissy swan. 118 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:08,120 Speaker 4: Oh reckoning Yeah, okay, I thought, well, reckoning is it? 119 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 4: It's the It's a day of Reckoning day? I thought 120 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:15,679 Speaker 4: it if it was in a if a relationship movie fail, 121 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 4: you would think it could be the ex's day of reading. 122 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 1: Well, this is talking about all those great fun photos 123 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 1: we have in our photo reel, but maybe also on 124 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:29,159 Speaker 1: social media fast lovers and the debate of whether you 125 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 1: should delete all those photos when you have a new 126 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:37,040 Speaker 1: partner discuss It's an interesting one because, I mean, the 127 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 1: experts come out and said, what about the ninety ten 128 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:41,720 Speaker 1: yearl Will you delete about ninety percent and keep ten 129 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 1: just because it seems strange to remove an entire past? 130 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 3: What about you delete none? 131 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 1: I agree, grow up and realize. 132 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:55,039 Speaker 2: That your current boyfriend or girlfriend isn't the first person 133 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 2: you've ever known. Amazing stres zero tolerance for that, agree, 134 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,479 Speaker 2: And that is a red flag. If anyone ever said 135 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 2: to me, you can't speak to your my very first 136 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 2: you know love, My first boyfriend, Darren I was with 137 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 2: for eight years. 138 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 1: Lee, What institution is he now? Where is he? What 139 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 1: mental institution is he in? Now? 140 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 3: Just me? It's a prison. 141 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:30,520 Speaker 2: And he's you know, he's slowly digging when the guards 142 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:31,200 Speaker 2: aren't looking on. 143 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: Is he so you're still in contact with him? Is 144 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 1: he a friend of yours? 145 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 3: I talk to him all the time. 146 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:40,480 Speaker 2: He's one of my favorite human beings because we shared 147 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 2: eight years together from the age of twenty to twenty eight, 148 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 2: massive time in our life. Can I ask this question 149 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,480 Speaker 2: if somebody ever said to me you can't be friends 150 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 2: with him, it just wouldn't be a choice. 151 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 1: I'd just be like, well, you're and it doesn't make sense. 152 00:07:56,360 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 1: Do you talk about old times? Do you do? You? Do? You? 153 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 1: Do you talk about things that happen back then? And 154 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 1: do you have private jokes that they still exist? 155 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 2: I mean probably, Yeah, it's like my brother, Okay, did 156 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,680 Speaker 2: you I can? 157 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 4: I can I ask a very personal question? 158 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 1: Please? Was he? Was he your first? Interesting? 159 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 4: Because I think that adds that there's even more connection 160 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 4: then Yeah. 161 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know, because it's a sh I just 162 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 2: don't and I am not a jealous person and I 163 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 2: can't know people that are. 164 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: Okay, what should you do? Do you have to delete 165 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:40,960 Speaker 1: those photos? Or can you let them sit there and 166 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,080 Speaker 1: tell the other person just to get over it? Clear 167 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 1: and right? What are you thinking? 168 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:49,760 Speaker 5: Bye? Well? I would say one of like the biggest 169 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:55,119 Speaker 5: red flags live encounters would be just like blow texting 170 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,120 Speaker 5: and just like a really long reply, like I really 171 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:01,960 Speaker 5: like just how almost like a ghosting you you're holding 172 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 5: on to do your life with the relationship, like you 173 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 5: said it going. Do you know if one. 174 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 1: Person's giving too much more than the other person, you mean. 175 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:13,959 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, but then they can turn around to you 176 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 5: and be like, no, no, no, it's all good under sat 177 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 5: with the boys. 178 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,080 Speaker 1: When you look back over a chain of texts and 179 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 1: you see only one color, always interesting. Yeah, that's slightly concerning. 180 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,280 Speaker 1: Thank you, Claire. Would you be okay with you know, 181 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,600 Speaker 1: if you met somebody and they had photos of their ex. 182 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 5: On their phone or like Instagram. 183 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:37,319 Speaker 1: No, maybe on Instagram, so it's public, you know what 184 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 1: I'm like. 185 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 5: If they're just following them, that's fine. I don't mind. 186 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:42,600 Speaker 5: If it was like, if it was an okay thing, 187 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:43,880 Speaker 5: they didn't wake up like that. 188 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,960 Speaker 1: Thank you. Santy a friend of mine. I mean, he's 189 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 1: a he's an older guy. He has got a photo 190 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:55,960 Speaker 1: on his mantelpiece. His right arm is over his previous 191 00:09:55,960 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 1: wife and his left arm is over his current wife. 192 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:06,080 Speaker 1: And they're all wearing like cable knit jumpers. What cable 193 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:11,920 Speaker 1: nit jumpers? I believe? So. 194 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,360 Speaker 4: Is there also a painting of the grandfather up on 195 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,120 Speaker 4: the wall that made the family. 196 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 1: Hard to say, mate, Rebecca in Springwood? 197 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:22,760 Speaker 2: Hello, did the eyes of that portrait follow you around? 198 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,560 Speaker 1: They actually come out of the picture and we'll follow 199 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:26,280 Speaker 1: you down the street. 200 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 3: Sorry, Beck, Beck? 201 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 1: Do you think they should be able to hold onto 202 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,560 Speaker 1: the photos? Do you think that's fine? Yeah? 203 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 5: I think it's really plain. 204 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 3: You should be able to hold onto them. 205 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,320 Speaker 5: Probably just don't want to be looking at them all 206 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 5: the time, but you don't want to delete your past 207 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 5: in your history. 208 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,080 Speaker 1: Do you know what? Can I ask this? Beck? Have 209 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,320 Speaker 1: you ever been in a situation where you're telling a 210 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 1: story about something and your partner is there, but then 211 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,000 Speaker 1: you realize that it wasn't them you did it with. 212 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:48,200 Speaker 1: I've done that before. 213 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,439 Speaker 3: I don't know about that one. 214 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,719 Speaker 5: I've been with my partner too long now. But yeah, No. 215 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 1: I was sitting there at a family dinner telling a 216 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,319 Speaker 1: story about when Lisa and I did this, and Mums 217 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 1: look at me in a weird way. What are you 218 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,560 Speaker 1: looking at? And she's doing the old cut across the 219 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:07,719 Speaker 1: throat and she's mouthing to me it wasn't Lisa, Oh no, 220 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 1: it was. It was Lisa's roast lamb. It was it 221 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: was old. 222 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 4: No. 223 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:13,320 Speaker 1: No, I wasn't the food. It had nothing to do 224 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 1: with the cooking. It was just I had the wrong person. 225 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,680 Speaker 1: It was a really great moment for everyone. Sits In 226 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,640 Speaker 1: Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast To walk 227 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 1: great shows like this. Download the Nova player, YA, the 228 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,520 Speaker 1: app Store, or Google Playing the Nova Player