Speaker 1: Appolochiate production. Grow and Glows Twelve Days of Christmas. Hello everybody,
Speaker 1: and welcome back to Grow and Glow. This is twelve
Speaker 1: days of Christmas and I have an incredible guest on
Speaker 1: with me today. Thanks for coming back, Step.
Speaker 2: Thank you for having me back. I must have done
Speaker 2: a good job. You did.
Speaker 1: We had lots of good feedback. So today we're going
Speaker 1: to be talking about a full mindset reset. Obviously we're
Speaker 1: coming to the end of twenty twenty four. It feel
Speaker 1: like it's just a nice time to kind of reflect
Speaker 1: on the last year and then transition into the new year.
Speaker 1: So I've got a couple of fire questions. We only
Speaker 1: have twenty minutes, but I've got five good questions for
Speaker 1: you that I think are really going to help all
Speaker 1: of you listening really get in the right mind frame
Speaker 1: to tackle twenty twenty five. It just started off really strong. Yes, cool, ready,
Speaker 1: all right? So what are some key signs to indicate
Speaker 1: that it's time for a mindset reset? And what should
Speaker 1: we kind of be feeling or looking for in that?
Speaker 2: Such a good question. I think the mindset reset for
Speaker 2: me was something I started to develop back during COVID
Speaker 2: Because everyone's mindsets were just shot so true.
Speaker 1: Everything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the world was challenging, everything was hard. So that's
Speaker 2: when I actually developed a mindset reset protocol, which I
Speaker 2: want to share today. But common signs is that you're
Speaker 2: just not feeling good you wake up, maybe you're thinking
Speaker 2: the same thoughts you thought yesterday. Maybe you're in the
Speaker 2: same place as last year. It's a feeling of starkness.
Speaker 2: It's a feeling of not feeling happy or not feeling
Speaker 2: like low state. Yeah, a low state and nothing's really
Speaker 2: changing in your life. I think that's the key. Is
Speaker 2: you're wanting change, but everything's the same and that doesn't
Speaker 2: sit well with you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's when you're like, Okay, I need a reset.
Speaker 1: Something has to change one hundred percent. So if anyone
Speaker 1: listenings like, oh my gosh, that's so me. This year's
Speaker 1: been really hard. I'm feeling so flat, I'm feeling lost
Speaker 1: and feeling stark like I hate waking up each day.
Speaker 1: I don't want to tackle the day like they're looking
Speaker 1: forward to bedtime because I know I've been there before.
Speaker 1: What are some strategies that they can implement and start
Speaker 1: to put into their life leading into the new year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, The first thing is to have compassion for yourself.
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people's mindsets get worse when
Speaker 2: they're critical about things. True, I didn't do this, or
Speaker 2: I didn't go to the gym, I should have done this,
Speaker 2: and shoulting yourself creates shames. I think the first thing
Speaker 2: is if you want to address your mindset, is to
Speaker 2: have compassion for where you're at and say, it's okay,
Speaker 2: we had a crappy year. It's all right, we can
Speaker 2: move forward from this, accept it, and just start to
Speaker 2: identify what is it I really want to shift and change.
Speaker 2: If I woke up tomorrow when my life was amazing,
Speaker 2: if I felt happy, if I felt, you know, like
Speaker 2: I achieved what I want to achieve, what would be different?
Speaker 2: Because unless we know where we're going, it's hard to
Speaker 2: know how to get there. So we need to identify. Yes,
Speaker 2: that destination.
Speaker 1: So true, that word should It doesn't make it ever
Speaker 1: feel good.
Speaker 2: No, it's like you're pushing yourself with a stick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you feel like you've done something wrong, like, oh,
Speaker 1: I should have done it. It's always done in that
Speaker 1: tone that is shameful.
Speaker 2: Yes, And and then it just reinforces negative patterns because
Speaker 2: you don't feel good enough, which is the second thing
Speaker 2: is start to do a thought audit when you're feeling
Speaker 2: in that low state, when you don't want to be
Speaker 2: around whatever it might be you're trying to avoid. What
Speaker 2: are you thinking? Is it I'm not good enough? Is
Speaker 2: it I should have done this? Is it I'm worthless?
Speaker 2: What is the actual thought? Because we can't change what
Speaker 2: we don't acknowledge, so true and thoughts control everything. Yeah,
Speaker 2: people think, oh, it's the actions I need to change.
Speaker 2: I just have to go to the gym, or I
Speaker 2: just have to eat more healthy. But the reason you're
Speaker 2: in the same place is because you've got the same
Speaker 2: thoughts as yesterday. You're not good enough, you're not doing enough.
Speaker 2: But unless you change those thoughts, nothing in your life
Speaker 2: will change.
Speaker 1: Language is so important. Hey, I remember having a language
Speaker 1: swap to like, oh I have to go do it.
Speaker 1: It's like, well, actually I get to go and do that.
Speaker 1: That is my choice, and I get to do this
Speaker 1: and that's going to benefit xyz. But having those language
Speaker 1: shit can really change the whole vibration of your body
Speaker 1: and therefore how you show up and what you're attracting
Speaker 1: more of Do you have any other examples. If someone says, oh,
Speaker 1: I should have gone to the gym, what's a language
Speaker 1: shift that you've got that could help?
Speaker 2: And just on that note, a lot of people will
Speaker 2: say to me, but Steph, I should have gone to
Speaker 2: the gym. But Steph, I am overway. But Steph, I
Speaker 2: do have this problem in my life. And the key
Speaker 2: question to ask yourself is is this thought effective for
Speaker 2: my goals and dreams? Right? Okay, yeah, cool, you should
Speaker 2: have gone to the gym, But is shooting yourself effective?
Speaker 2: Is that going to get you to your goal? So
Speaker 2: it's not about positive thinking, it's about effective thinking. So
Speaker 2: a simple change could be sure it would have been
Speaker 2: ideal if I had gone to the gym, but I didn't.
Speaker 2: And that's okay because it just creates a softer vibrational energy.
Speaker 2: It's not negative, and you're going to be in a
Speaker 2: better state to do it tomorrow. Because thoughts create feelings.
Speaker 2: I'll give you examples. So say you and I were
Speaker 2: going to a party and as she has a bunch
Speaker 2: of thoughts and she thinks, I'm going to have fun
Speaker 2: at the I'm going to network, I'm going to meet
Speaker 2: new people.
Speaker 1: How are you going to be feeling pretty high vibe
Speaker 1: and excited and like ready.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go, let's go. And how's that going to
Speaker 2: affect your behavior at the party.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm going to be attracting beautiful people in, I'm
Speaker 1: going to be having amazing conversations. I'm probably going to
Speaker 1: be expanding myself and getting a lot out of my time.
Speaker 2: There, exactly, whereas I'm going to the same parties. You
Speaker 2: so the same situation. But I think, what if I
Speaker 2: don't know anyone, I'm gonna look stupid, I've got nothing
Speaker 2: to wear, I'm not interesting, I'm boring. How am I
Speaker 2: going to feel going into this party? Shit? Yeah, and
Speaker 2: then how might my behavior be different?
Speaker 1: You would hold back, You probably wouldn't even engage in conversations.
Speaker 1: You go to the bathroom, you'd hide in the corner.
Speaker 1: Maybe you'd drink some alcohol to try and like get
Speaker 1: some liquid courage up. And then you wouldn't be your
Speaker 1: authentic self, so you wouldn't get much out of the
Speaker 1: night anyway, exactly.
Speaker 2: And then what's my belief about parties That.
Speaker 1: I can't be there, I can't do it. I am boring,
Speaker 1: no one wants to talk to me. All those same
Speaker 1: things you were thinking. You're like, you're gathering evidence to
Speaker 1: confirm your insecurities and your stories. You're telling yourself exactly.
Speaker 2: So those situations, as a result of our thoughts, reinforce
Speaker 2: our beliefs. So people think parties are the problem. I've
Speaker 2: just got to not go to parties. I've got to
Speaker 2: avoid them. They try to control the situation, or they'll
Speaker 2: try to control the emotion. I'll just dream or take
Speaker 2: drugs so I feel good. What people don't realize is
Speaker 2: it's actually your thoughts about the party that you have
Speaker 2: to change. So I can say, do you know what,
Speaker 2: even though parties make me feel a bit anxious, I
Speaker 2: really want to put myself out there and who knows
Speaker 2: what the night will bring.
Speaker 1: Oh the language shift, Yes, it's like who knows. Like
Speaker 1: one of my words for next year is going to
Speaker 1: be curiosity. Yes, I just want curiosity to lead me
Speaker 1: if I'm curious. Instead of being like, oh that looks
Speaker 1: scary or you know, maybe it's not for me, it's like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm curious. I'm going to lean into that and see
Speaker 1: what happens. Because then there's no expectation. I'm not putting like, oh,
Speaker 1: this must happen or I should be doing this. It's like,
Speaker 1: I'm curious about it. Let's just see what happens. Yes,
Speaker 1: just leaves me really open minded, and that's why I
Speaker 1: want to lead with that next year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it creates space because if you're curious, you're
Speaker 2: going to be less reactive, you're going to be true
Speaker 2: less emotionally disregulated because you're coming from a place of curiosity.
Speaker 2: Which is what I encourage people to do with their
Speaker 2: thoughts is take a step back from your thoughts and say,
Speaker 2: that's an interesting thought. I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough.
Speaker 2: It's just a thought.
Speaker 1: You can think something, but it doesn't actually have to
Speaker 1: mean anything, right, It's aren't fat Yeah, yeah, thoughts aren't facts, so.
Speaker 2: It's not helpful most of the time. And all it
Speaker 2: is is your brain trying to protect you. But the
Speaker 2: beauty is you can't choose which thoughts come up, kind
Speaker 2: of like your family. But you can choose.
Speaker 1: You can example the.
Speaker 2: Time and attention, yes, you give to them or to
Speaker 2: your family members. So if anyone's listening and you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: I get so many negative thoughts, start to notice them
Speaker 2: and become curious about them and be like, that's an
Speaker 2: interesting thought. Does that serve me?
Speaker 1: Know?
Speaker 2: How can I reframe that instead?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've used this example before with body love. Sometimes
Speaker 1: I think affirmations. I do love affirmations. But if you
Speaker 1: if you are having thoughts of like I hate my body,
Speaker 1: I hate my body, you can say I love my body.
Speaker 1: I love my body, but like, if you don't actually
Speaker 1: believe it. I feel like there's this bridge of meeting
Speaker 1: in the middle of being like, Okay, I don't want
Speaker 1: to hate my body. I don't feel like I love
Speaker 1: it right now, but I accept it and I'm grateful
Speaker 1: for it. I'm grateful that I have two feet in
Speaker 1: a heartbeat. I'm grateful that I birth my children. I'm
Speaker 1: grateful that my skin's clear at the moment, you can
Speaker 1: find gratitude to meet in the middle. I feel like
Speaker 1: it's a nice stepping stone one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: And just on that note as well, with body respects,
Speaker 2: like you don't have to love it, but you can
Speaker 2: respect it and to be kind to it as well.
Speaker 2: And a lot of people say to me, but Steph,
Speaker 2: I don't believe the thought, so they might say to themselves,
Speaker 2: you know what, I am worthy. I don't believe in it.
Speaker 2: You don't have to believe in it for it to
Speaker 2: be effective. Think about this two people. One person really
Speaker 2: believes that they're going to get fit and healthy, but
Speaker 2: they stay home and eat maccas every day and don't exercise,
Speaker 2: and they say, you know what, I really believe I'm
Speaker 2: going to be fit and healthy, whereas the other person says,
Speaker 2: I don't believe I'm going to be fit and healthy,
Speaker 2: but they show up for themselves every day. I don't
Speaker 2: believe it, but I'm going to go for my walk.
Speaker 2: I don't believe it, but I'm going to hang out
Speaker 2: with my friends and socialize. Who's going to get the
Speaker 2: better result? Yeah, the person who believes or the person
Speaker 2: who acts despite their thoughts and feelings and how they
Speaker 2: believe in themselves is.
Speaker 1: A really good example.
Speaker 2: Yes, you don't have to believe it. You just have
Speaker 2: to take a step in the direction you want to go,
Speaker 2: despite how you feel, which is going to feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Gosh. Yeah, it's so important I think to also be
Speaker 1: constantly trying to bring yourself back into center and be regulated.
Speaker 1: Because I like how you said, just when that thought
Speaker 1: comes out, just take a step back. You just take
Speaker 1: ten breaths and just be like, Okay, that thought's there. Hi,
Speaker 1: thank you? Hello, Yeah, it's really interesting where's that come from?
Speaker 1: And get really curious and start to investigate it. And
Speaker 1: I know, for me, even like growing up, my story
Speaker 1: was I'm so dumb and the once I actually took
Speaker 1: a step back and was like, where did it actually
Speaker 1: come from? My stepdad? Yes? Is that the actual truth? Like?
Speaker 1: Am I dumb? No? I didn't even try half the
Speaker 1: time because I let that story be my truth, but
Speaker 1: it's not actually the truth. Once I unpacked it, I
Speaker 1: was like, whoa, Just because someone says something or you
Speaker 1: think something, it does not have to be the truth.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's not effective. Yeah, right, And we got
Speaker 2: to break that down. When people say I feel like
Speaker 2: a failure or I'm dumb, what does dumb even mean to? Yeah,
Speaker 2: what does it mean? What does a failure look like?
Speaker 2: If you were a failed mum? What is a failed mum?
Speaker 2: That's so true and break down what that definition is.
Speaker 2: And you're like, well, if someone was done, they probably
Speaker 2: wouldn't be capable of doing all the things that you do.
Speaker 2: So is that really fitting? Probably not? Is it effective?
Speaker 2: Probably not?
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 2: So what you said with thoughts is taking a step
Speaker 2: back and thinking about your thoughts as a hurricane or
Speaker 2: a storm. You've got two choices. You can be in
Speaker 2: the storm and be in that thought like I'm dumb,
Speaker 2: I'm dumb, I'm done, or look at that thought from
Speaker 2: the distance and say I'm having the thought that I'm dumb.
Speaker 2: I'm having the thought that if you insert that, that
Speaker 2: creates this metaphorical distance. It makes you observe it so
Speaker 2: you can control it, so you're not in the eye
Speaker 2: of the thoughts of the storm.
Speaker 1: That's really cool. I love that example. Thank you for that.
Speaker 1: And then as we're going into twenty twenty five, how
Speaker 1: important do you think reflection is? I know when I
Speaker 1: before I set my goals, I go back and look
Speaker 1: at the ones I set previously, and you know whether
Speaker 1: they came true or not. I'll just reflect on I'd
Speaker 1: be like, that's working, that's not working. That feels really good,
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel really good. I like, how did that?
Speaker 1: But I think I want to like shimmitt a little
Speaker 1: bit over this way. I like to reflect on everything.
Speaker 1: How important do you think reflection is?
Speaker 2: Reflection is extremely important because if we don't know where
Speaker 2: we're going how we're going to get there. But also
Speaker 2: many people are so focused me included, on going forward
Speaker 2: and achieving these huge, big goals and milestones, and it
Speaker 2: can be demotivating because you think you're so far and
Speaker 2: we compare ourself to others, But reflecting back allows you
Speaker 2: to compare yourself to yourself, like, yes, you might not
Speaker 2: financially be or you want to be, but where were
Speaker 2: you a year ago? Yeah you know, yes, maybe health
Speaker 2: wise you're not where you want to be, But where
Speaker 2: were you six months a year ago? So reflecting allows
Speaker 2: you to compare with yourself and actually see your progress.
Speaker 2: Because we're so focused on moving forward or comparing ourself
Speaker 2: to unrealistic standards.
Speaker 1: Or people, sometimes we don't even take time to celebrate
Speaker 1: the small wins. So even if you had a goal
Speaker 1: for X amount of dollars and you quite reach that,
Speaker 1: but you're still maybe halfway there, that's still worth celebrating
Speaker 1: and being proud of.
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think reflection's so important in your experience. What
Speaker 1: role does goal setting play and creating a successful mindset reset?
Speaker 1: And how can we all set actual goals the line
Speaker 1: with our true desires? In twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: Okay. I think the first thing is discovering what don't
Speaker 2: you want? Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's a good point, isn't it, Because a.
Speaker 2: Lot of people are like, yeah, but I don't know
Speaker 2: what I want. I don't know what my goal is,
Speaker 2: and I was saying, what don't you want? Yeah, And
Speaker 2: that can be something really useful to start from. It
Speaker 2: is figuring out, Okay, what don't I want to happen?
Speaker 2: But also with goal setting, identifying what you do want
Speaker 2: and just say, you know what, in the biggest, wildest dreams,
Speaker 2: what is possible for me? And just by asking yourself
Speaker 2: the question, you're opening your brain to possibilities. Because everyone's
Speaker 2: focused on oh, I don't want this to happen. I
Speaker 2: don't want that to happen. And it doesn't put you
Speaker 2: in a good state to dream and all of that.
Speaker 2: So just be in a really good state when your
Speaker 2: goal setting. I'm really big on this, like go to
Speaker 2: the beach or sit grounded, feel good and just let
Speaker 2: your mind run wild. And your biggest world is dreams.
Speaker 2: Write down almost I think I listen to you say
Speaker 2: this once fifty or one hundred goals, whatever it is,
Speaker 2: because it forces you to can't not stop even if
Speaker 2: they feel unrealistic. I do it every year now, write down,
Speaker 2: like whether it's yeah, fifty or a hundred of just
Speaker 2: things that I want to achieve or.
Speaker 1: That I'm wanting to feel. And sometimes that i'm writing,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, this feels like a stretch. But put
Speaker 1: it on there, like I want that in the forefront
Speaker 1: of my mind. I want that for myself, whether it's
Speaker 1: next year or in two years, Like put it on paper,
Speaker 1: getting that energy.
Speaker 2: And the brain doesn't know the difference between what's real
Speaker 2: and what's imagined. So people imagine the worst case scenario.
Speaker 2: I'm going to be late, I'm going to get rejected,
Speaker 2: he's not going to text me back. But if you
Speaker 2: can start to imagine the best case scenario, you're already
Speaker 2: creating that blueprint in your brain and the brain will
Speaker 2: start to make it happen. So really start to Yes,
Speaker 2: write down your goals. That's important. But you have to
Speaker 2: get in the state as if you have achieved it.
Speaker 2: So really encourage some visualization. Imagine that you've achieved that goal.
Speaker 2: How do you feel, what's it like? You know a
Speaker 2: lot of people like Joe Despenzer, Tony Robbins really emphasize
Speaker 2: that it's so important to feel the emotion of achieving
Speaker 2: the goal before we actually do it, to show our
Speaker 2: brand it's possible.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's cool. I've even seen someone say to write
Speaker 1: like a future letter of yourself, as if you're already
Speaker 1: achieved all of that, Like wow, Ashy, you're in your
Speaker 1: beautiful home, like your kids are so healthy, you've got
Speaker 1: two million down loads, Like how do you feel like congratulations?
Speaker 1: Like actually put it as if it's already happened, and
Speaker 1: you get in that feeling of like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: this woud feel amazing, like I want this. It really
Speaker 1: brings a lot of drive and fire in my belly. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And if you're listening to this after this episode, I
Speaker 2: world encourage people to get a bed in paper. It's
Speaker 2: one year from now, and you say, I'm so excited
Speaker 2: that after listening to that episode of and Steah, this happened.
Speaker 2: This has happened. This has happened. So imagine we're a
Speaker 2: year into the future and someone's writing this letter to us.
Speaker 2: Write it down and tell us what happened after you
Speaker 2: listen to this episode. So good.
Speaker 1: There's something else they can do, though, And I'd love
Speaker 1: for you to talk about it is you've got an
Speaker 1: actual thirty day like reset challenge. Can you tell us
Speaker 1: a little bit more about it.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm really passionate about helping people realize the potential
Speaker 2: to change their mind So I created a thirty day
Speaker 2: mindset Reset Challenge. It's online. Actually created it during COVID
Speaker 2: because everyone needed a mindset shift, And it's online and
Speaker 2: I've got it free for your members. They just use
Speaker 2: the code actually one hundred amazing and this thirty day
Speaker 2: Mindset Reset Challenge, it's online in your own time. You
Speaker 2: do one module a week. There's a little bit of homework,
Speaker 2: and it's honestly such a great tool to just give
Speaker 2: you those reminders because it's so easy to slip back
Speaker 2: into old patterns, and it will teach you how to
Speaker 2: identify your thoughts, how to reframe them, how to change them,
Speaker 2: how to regulate your emotions. And I think everyone could
Speaker 2: do this. I mean I do it regularly. Yeah, you
Speaker 2: have to, because it's every day we need to make
Speaker 2: those micro shifts in our brain and our mindset, and
Speaker 2: it's a good reminder of that. So if you need
Speaker 2: a mindset reset, if you're listening to this click the link,
Speaker 2: and I'd love to have you on board.
Speaker 1: It's so good. Would you recommend them starting say in December,
Speaker 1: right now when they're listening to this, or wait till
Speaker 1: late January? First? When would you right now?
Speaker 2: Just start now? Day?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Way, you know, if you want to change something, start now.
Speaker 1: Yeah. If nothing changes, nothing changes. It's one of my
Speaker 1: favorite sayings.
Speaker 2: Hey, it's so simple but true.
Speaker 1: Isn't it. I feel like so many of us like
Speaker 1: want the world to change, want the world to be kind,
Speaker 1: or want the world to like do this. It's like
Speaker 1: it actually starts with you. If you want all of that, Like,
Speaker 1: you have to be that first.
Speaker 2: And you have to change up here. Yes, it's not
Speaker 2: about just waking up earlier. It's not about the things
Speaker 2: you do. It's how you speak to yourself. So, if
Speaker 2: you want to be someone who loves and respects their body,
Speaker 2: how would you speak to yourself?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And that's how it starts, because those thoughts put you
Speaker 2: in a good state, and that good state drives good behavior.
Speaker 1: One of my favorite sayings, too, is like, treat yourself
Speaker 1: how you would treat your best friend or your daughter,
Speaker 1: or your sister or your mum. If they're on a
Speaker 1: weight loss journey, if they're trying to achieve their goals.
Speaker 1: You are so encouraging and you're so compassion you're so like, yes,
Speaker 1: you've got this. But then to yourself you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're a fat, lazy cow. Yes, so you would never
Speaker 1: say that to your sister or best friend. So why
Speaker 1: would you do that to yourself?
Speaker 2: Exactly? And it's not helpful.
Speaker 1: No, double yeah, exactly panful.
Speaker 2: So yes, Thatt to audit your thoughts, it's not helpful.
Speaker 2: Check it out.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2: Please chat.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you'll be back one day soon.
Speaker 2: Thanks so much.
Speaker 1: Thanks guys. I will leave all the details in the
Speaker 1: show notes below access to the thirty day Reset challenge
Speaker 1: the code Ashly one hundred yesack kids. It to you
Speaker 1: guys for free, which is amazing. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for that, and I'll leave all your Instagram and everything
Speaker 1: there as well.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Marry Chris, Merry Christmas. Bye guys, Bye,