WEBVTT - #2052 Brain Literacy - Harps (PT2) 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:02.400 I get a team. Welcome back to another installment of 0:00:02.440 --> 0:00:05.920 the show. So, as you well know, because you read 0:00:05.920 --> 0:00:08.560 the title and you probably read the overview, this is 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:12.680 part two of my little extravaganza on the brain. I'm 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:15.720 calling this brain literacy, which is essentially the idea of 0:00:15.760 --> 0:00:18.640 you and me understanding how that thing that drives our life, 0:00:19.160 --> 0:00:21.680 that thing that drives our body, that thing that gives 0:00:21.760 --> 0:00:26.400 the world around us meaning and story and all of 0:00:26.440 --> 0:00:29.720 those things, how it works. I think it's a good 0:00:29.760 --> 0:00:32.120 idea that we all have one, so we should probably 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:35.040 try and understand how it works and how we can 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:39.920 manage it rather than it manage us all of the time. 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:41.560 It's a little bit of a two way kind of 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:46.559 an interaction. But so we did. Let me just I've 0:00:46.600 --> 0:00:48.640 got my notes here, I'm trying to remember, just a 0:00:48.720 --> 0:00:51.880 quick recap. If you haven't heard part one, have a listen, 0:00:52.120 --> 0:00:55.040 Have a listen. It's probably you know what. It doesn't 0:00:55.880 --> 0:00:59.240 It doesn't matter so much that you listen to it chronologically. 0:00:59.800 --> 0:01:04.240 But we've spoken about five concepts. Number one, the role 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:08.119 of the brain. Number two, whether or not we can 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:13.600 manage our brain or it manages us. Number three, the 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:17.319 idea of keeping our brain working optimally, keeping our brain 0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:20.440 in a healthy state, which is, believe it or not, 0:01:20.560 --> 0:01:23.840 something that is really important that very few people think about. 0:01:24.480 --> 0:01:27.360 How do I optimize my brain from a physiological point 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:29.640 of view, from a health point of view, from a hydration, 0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:33.000 from a sleep, from a nutrition. We think when we 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:36.680 think about health, we think about, you know, our heart, 0:01:36.760 --> 0:01:40.280 our cardiovascular system, and our lungs and all of our organs, 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:42.600 and we talk about our energy, and we talk about 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:46.959 our body composition. But we don't often think directly about 0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:50.440 how do I make my brain work better? How do 0:01:50.560 --> 0:01:53.320 I make my brain healthier? What are the things that 0:01:53.400 --> 0:01:56.960 I can do for my brain and to my brain 0:01:57.040 --> 0:01:59.040 and with my brain that are going to make my 0:01:59.160 --> 0:02:04.680 brain perform better. Remembering that how well your body can perform, 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:07.800 how well your mind can perform, Yes, it's different to 0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:12.560 your brain. How well you can perform in life, at work, 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:17.320 in relationships, in navigating the day to day bullshit, that 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:21.600 is largely dependent on how your brain is working. So 0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:25.120 that was the first three. The fourth one was a 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:30.240 little story I told about an analogy between the brain, 0:02:30.880 --> 0:02:35.920 our brain, and an old house. It's kind of a 0:02:35.960 --> 0:02:39.720 story that I told to help people who have no 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:44.120 idea of what the bits of the brain do. Let's 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:48.880 say that to help them understand different roles and functions 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:52.200 of you know, like the prefrontal cortex, the bit of 0:02:52.240 --> 0:02:54.840 the brain that does the thinking and or the conscious 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:58.440 thinking and the critical thinking and the decision making, and 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:01.639 the amygdala which is the center of the brain, and 0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:04.080 all of those bits and pieces. So I kind of 0:03:04.160 --> 0:03:09.400 like that. The fifth section we did was how our 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:16.519 brain can sometimes conspire against us and get in get 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:20.520 in the road of what we want. Keeping in mind 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:25.040 that our brain is not actually built for happiness or 0:03:25.080 --> 0:03:30.680 fulfillment or personal growth, which is not say it can't 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:34.120 do those things, but it's actually built for survival, you know. 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:37.400 The factory setting. The come out of the factory setting 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:42.559 of your brain is to keep you safe, is to 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:46.320 make sure that you're not putting yourself in harm's way. 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:49.560 All right, that's the first five. So how many more 0:03:49.600 --> 0:03:51.760 have I got left? I think I've got It would 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:54.200 make sense that I did ten. Let me just check. 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:59.920 I should probably have prepared this earlier. Oh, I seem 0:03:59.920 --> 0:04:02.720 to eleven. All right, Well, let's dive into number six anyway, 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:06.480 unless I feel free not to edit any of this. 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:10.000 Let's just keep the organic mess that is me all intact. 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:16.840 So question six is how much of my thinking am 0:04:16.920 --> 0:04:19.760 I in control of? And how much am I not? So, 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:22.240 in other words, how much of my thinking is automatic? 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:28.599 It just happens. It's an unconscious kind of process and 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:32.720 a conscious process. How much is one unconscious? How much 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:36.279 two is conscious? I always say that, like in simple terms, 0:04:36.279 --> 0:04:39.039 this is what I say. Thinking happens because of you 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:45.240 conscious thought and despite you automatic thought. Most people like 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:50.000 to believe that they're walking around making conscious, logical, deliberate 0:04:50.080 --> 0:04:54.680 decisions all day, but that's not actually true. So we're 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:59.000 mostly being run by our subconscious we're mostly being run 0:04:59.480 --> 0:05:06.320 by automatic program. So about ninety to ninety five percent 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:11.320 of our thoughts, reactions, interpretations, impulses, and decisions come from 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:17.320 our automatic system, the fast, emotional, instinctive, predictive part of 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:21.279 our brain, the part that fires before we realize anything's 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:26.720 really happening. And this isn't laziness, it's efficiency. So if 0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:30.560 your brain had to consciously think all day, every day, 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:34.760 every second, every minute, through every decision, if you had 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:40.160 to consciously decide everything in real time, all day, every day, 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:42.560 one you'd never make it out of bed, and if 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:48.040 you did, you'd be fucking exhausted perpetually. So because your 0:05:48.040 --> 0:05:53.920 brain understands this and is very smart, it creates shortcuts, habits, patterns, assumptions, interpretations, 0:05:55.839 --> 0:06:02.440 and emotional reflexes. And these these shortcuts a kind of 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:06.479 like the autopilot that drive most of your day, your 0:06:06.800 --> 0:06:10.680 automatic operating system. And that's why you and me can 0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:14.160 drive home from somewhere and not even really remember the 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:19.320 drive home. I I'm always surprised that I can. You know, 0:06:19.320 --> 0:06:21.440 I've been riding. I'm sixty two as I record this. 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:23.600 I've been riding. Got on my first motorbike when I 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:25.520 was five years old, six years old, grew up in 0:06:25.520 --> 0:06:28.560 the country, and I've been riding motorbikes on the road, 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:33.280 in traffic in Mayhem, a million different kinds of motorbikes 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:38.640 in a million different situations, for forty four years on 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:41.120 the road. And as you would know if you're a 0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:44.440 motorcyclist or even not, you know you have a clutch 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:46.200 that you pull in with your left hand. You have 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:48.680 a front brake that you pull with your right hand. 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:51.760 You have gears that are down by your left foot, 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:54.720 you have a rear brake that you use with your 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:59.239 right foot. Rear tire break, front break is right hand, 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:03.280 clutch is left hand. Then you've got, you know, indicators 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:06.160 that you use with your left thumb, turn left, turn right, 0:07:06.240 --> 0:07:09.240 and then push it into cancel. Then you've got a 0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:12.440 horn that in most instances is down by your right thumb. 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:17.200 And you've got this myriad of things intersecting and happening 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:19.360 in real time. And while I'm doing all of that, 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:23.240 riding home from a gig in the city, you know, 0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:27.200 there's all of these things happening with my fingers and 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:30.520 my hands and my feet and changing gears and breaking 0:07:30.960 --> 0:07:34.360 I'm actually looking ahead and taking in the scenery and 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:38.880 the road and the potential threats and where I should 0:07:38.920 --> 0:07:40.840 go and where I should sit in the lane and 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:44.000 who I should avoid, and up all of this myriad 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:47.920 of variables that I'm looking at ahead of me and 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:52.440 anticipating and deciding about in real time while doing all 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:55.080 of this other shit with my feet and my hands 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:58.560 that I'm not thinking about. And it's so funny that 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:01.800 I can get home and I've done I don't know, 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:04.840 maybe a thousand different things in the last thirty minute 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:07.920 ride home with my hands and my feet and my 0:08:07.960 --> 0:08:10.600 fingers and my thumbs. I've done all of these things 0:08:10.640 --> 0:08:14.680 that I didn't make a conscious decision about. I've done 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:20.000 a thousand. Now imagine imagine the complexity and the impossibility 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:22.640 of me having to ride this motorbike with all of 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:27.760 these literally moving variables that I have to navigate and 0:08:27.880 --> 0:08:32.559 decide on in real time and read the road in 0:08:32.559 --> 0:08:38.640 front of me and assess all the potential dangers and issues. 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:43.480 And this capacity that we have to auto pilot our 0:08:43.559 --> 0:08:49.000 lives it allows us to or it sometimes means we're 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:51.760 going to check our phone a hundred times without actually 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:56.040 making a decision. Like it's just there, we just pick 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:58.840 it up. It's not like I go, all right, my 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:01.920 phone's over there, I could pick it up, I could 0:09:01.960 --> 0:09:04.360 look at it. Will I pick it up? And no, 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:06.200 none of that happens. It's just in my hand and 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:10.000 I'm just looking. It's why we can I've spoken about 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:12.920 this many times. It's why we can keep having the 0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:15.760 same arguments with the same people. We can have the 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:19.319 same version of the same conversation that didn't work the 0:09:19.400 --> 0:09:24.679 last hundred times. It creates more problems and solutions, but 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:30.800 it's kind of it's a hard wired sociological pattern, and 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:33.080 we just do it. We keep saying the same dumb 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:36.960 shit that didn't work the last thousand times because we're 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:41.640 not really thinking critically. We're just being hijacked on an 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:46.640 unconscious or an automatic kind of level. It's why we 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:52.000 reach for food when we're stressed. It's why we overact 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:58.120 or over react perhaps before we think. And it's why 0:09:58.280 --> 0:10:04.400 you and I fall into for your patterns and behaviors 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:07.840 that we said that we wouldn't do. And that's all 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:12.080 autopilot stuff. That's our brain on autopilot. Let's call that 0:10:13.040 --> 0:10:21.400 system one. And then there's the smaller, slower, more energy 0:10:21.440 --> 0:10:26.560 demanding bit and that's conscious thought. That's called that system too. 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:31.719 So this is where reasoning, reflection, long term planning, and 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:36.800 intentional behavior arises from. This part of your brain is 0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:42.080 kind of brilliant, it's kind of clever. It's where the 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:46.880 real thinking happens. But it's also lazy and easily overwhelmed, 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:54.400 and stressful situations will turn it off. Emotion will turn 0:10:54.400 --> 0:10:59.360 it off, Fatigue will turn it off, overwhelm will shut 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:02.240 it down. Like one of the questions that I often 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:08.560 ask people is not how skilled or talented are you, 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:13.240 or not how well can you perform, but rather how 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:17.920 well can you perform in the middle of chaos, Because 0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:23.800 when we're in the middle of chaos, quite often skill, intelligence, intellect, 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:29.120 common sense, effective decision making, all of that shit takes off. 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:33.959 So the important bit is for you to know is 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:37.560 that you're not a bad person because you act on impulse. 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:41.079 You're not weak because you repeat old patterns, and you're 0:11:41.080 --> 0:11:44.959 not broken because you react before you think. We all 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:46.760 do that. We all do that to an extent. We 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:49.360 want to turn the volume down on that. We want 0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:51.320 to be more aware of that. We can't change the 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:56.120 thing we're not aware of. And you and me, we're 0:11:56.160 --> 0:12:02.440 just humans running human wiring, doing and shit. But the 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:10.560 good news is that awareness gives us the option to 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:16.560 create different outcomes, to choose differently, to process data differently, 0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:20.720 to go into things with that level of awareness and 0:12:20.800 --> 0:12:26.080 understanding and insight. This is why understanding our brain and 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:30.920 understanding how our brain works in different situations and this 0:12:31.000 --> 0:12:34.400 is weird, but building that relationship with our brain where 0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:38.880 we understand each other. Because once you recognize the difference 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:45.240 between me and my autopilot well, then you can kind 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:49.360 of insert a gap, a pause, a moment where you 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:53.840 can step out of the reflex you know, the automaticness 0:12:54.040 --> 0:13:00.800 or the autonomousness of it, and choose a response reflex 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:05.480 and into unconscious reflex I guess and into conscious response. 0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:12.480 So autopilot is the default. Conscious control is the upgrade. 0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:15.440 And so every time you slow down, every time you 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:18.680 notice a pattern, question an assumption, take a breath instead 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:22.120 of reacting, you're strengthening the part of your brain that 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:28.920 gives you options and not just reactions. So question seven 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:31.800 is why do I keep repeating the same patterns? Why 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:35.400 do I keep doing the same dumb shit? So one 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:39.520 of the most frustrating human experiences is knowing better and 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:46.000 still doing stupid stuff repeatedly. We've all been there, repeating 0:13:46.040 --> 0:13:49.000 behaviors that we don't like, reacting in ways that we regret, 0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:52.559 falling into habits that we said we would break, doing 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:57.079 shit we said we wouldn't do, living in that groundhog 0:13:57.400 --> 0:14:04.160 day of frustration and repetition and pointlessness and exacerbation. So 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:07.920 why does this happen? Well, because your brain is designed 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:13.000 to prioritize the familiar over the functional. So every time 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:16.719 you think a thought, or rehearse a behavior, respond in 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:19.280 a certain way, or make a choice. Your brain wires 0:14:19.320 --> 0:14:24.560 that in. It builds a neural pathway and strengthens it 0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:33.200 with repetition, and eventually that becomes an automation. It becomes 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:36.920 an automatic response, which is energy saving, and the brain 0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:40.960 wants to save energy, So good or bad, good or bad, 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:44.360 you're going to hardwire habits and behaviors that are going 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:47.320 to become automatic responses, whether or not they serve you 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:52.560 or fuck you up. To your brain, familiar equals safe, 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:56.200 even if the familiar thing is miserable or unhealthy, or 0:14:56.280 --> 0:15:01.200 unhelpful or self destructive. And that is why people stay 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:06.840 in relationships that they've outgrown. And it's why we keep 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:09.280 having the same arguments. It's why we eat, drink and 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:17.040 scroll to our own detriment. It's why we sabotage opportunities, 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:19.720 and it's why we fall back into the identity that 0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:25.000 we've always carried. And it's why change feels harder than 0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:30.720 staying stuck. And like, even when we're stuck in something 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:35.240 that's not particularly healthy or productive, it's familiar, right, and 0:15:35.360 --> 0:15:39.880 we like familiar. We know it, And while we want 0:15:39.920 --> 0:15:44.960 to be different, or do different or live differently, produce 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:50.200 different outcomes. That means that means stepping into the unknown 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.800 somewhat and doing different things. And while we don't like 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:58.960 where we are metaphorically or literally, sometimes the idea is 0:15:59.000 --> 0:16:01.960 stepping into that known is going to be the thing 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:05.240 or the fear around that, I guess is a thing 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:07.440 that's going to keep us stuck in that two out 0:16:07.440 --> 0:16:12.560 of ten default pattern. And truthfully, you're not really choosing 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:18.520 the pattern, The pattern's choosing you. And I guess you 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:22.080 know dopamine. We've spoken about that many times. It plays 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:25.680 a role. The brain rewards predictability and routine and behaviors 0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:30.960 that reduce uncertainty. And even I guess even shitty habits, 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:38.840 even bad habits, have a payoff, you know, relief, escape, pleasure, numbness, familiarity. 0:16:38.880 --> 0:16:43.360 That's why instant gratification sells like a motherfucker, and your 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:47.360 brain will tag them as successful strategies even when logically 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:51.960 you know they're no good for you. But I guess 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:55.640 the good thing is that we can change that. Not easy, 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:58.640 not quick, not fun, not painless necessarily, but patterns are 0:16:58.680 --> 0:17:03.680 not personality traits. They're learned circuits and anything that can 0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:10.880 be learned can be unlearned. But here's the important bit. 0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:15.320 You don't change a pattern by fighting it. You change 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:22.000 it by replacing it. So neural pathways don't disappear per se, 0:17:22.080 --> 0:17:26.679 they get out competed. So when you practice a new 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:30.080 behavior over and over, the brain gradually shifts its loyalty 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:33.960 from the old circuit to the new one. And that 0:17:34.080 --> 0:17:39.200 thing that was weird, that was strange, that was unfamiliar, 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:45.680 over time it moves from those things to being your 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:49.800 new normal. And that's why consistency beats intensity. Think about 0:17:50.680 --> 0:17:53.520 think about how many people start stuff that they don't finish. 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:56.120 I would say, I mean I've done it. I would 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:59.359 say everybody does it. But when you think about you know, 0:17:59.400 --> 0:18:02.080 the obvious of like New Year's resolutions, how many people 0:18:02.119 --> 0:18:03.840 do that? How many people say they're going to do it, 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:06.480 how many people say they're going to be consistent, how 0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:08.560 many people say they're going to follow through? How many 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:11.040 people say this is the time I've done it before, 0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:13.240 but this is you know, I'm in, And then they 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:15.639 don't do it. And this is no judgment, this is 0:18:15.680 --> 0:18:19.760 no criticism. This is merely a reflection of what actually 0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:24.320 fucking happens. And so that is why consistency beats intensity. 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:30.679 That's why small daily steps outperform big emotional promises, and 0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:36.880 that's why identity change. I'm becoming someone who beats willpower. 0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:42.760 I hope I stop doing this, so that kind of 0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:46.760 I'm that kind of language of oh, I'm not on 0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:50.000 a diet. It's like, no, I don't eat that way anymore. 0:18:50.400 --> 0:18:53.240 Or I'm giving up booze for a while and seeing 0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:57.200 what happens. No, I don't drink alcohol. I don't drink alcohol, 0:18:57.960 --> 0:19:00.960 and I'm not on a program and I'm not operating 0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:04.119 on willpower. I've actually just changed my default setting. Or 0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:08.600 I'm changing my default setting. I'm rewiring my brain. As 0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:12.000 long as we do something, let's say we change your 0:19:12.040 --> 0:19:16.240 behavior on a subconscious level. Our story is I'm just 0:19:16.280 --> 0:19:20.520 seeing how this works out. Well, we've got the wrong story, 0:19:21.160 --> 0:19:22.919 and we're always going to end up back in that 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:25.320 place we don't want to be because nothing in our 0:19:26.200 --> 0:19:30.160 nothing in our story about that is reflects any kind 0:19:30.160 --> 0:19:37.439 of permanence, any kind of deep seated change. But I 0:19:37.440 --> 0:19:40.280 guess the good news is your patterns aren't failures. They're 0:19:40.320 --> 0:19:43.760 just old wiring trying to be helpful, and you're not 0:19:43.920 --> 0:19:47.600 stuck with them. You're just at the beginning of the 0:19:47.640 --> 0:19:53.000 rewiring process. Right question eight. So what happens in my 0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:56.199 brain when I'm stressed or anxious? Could question Grasshopper. So 0:19:57.760 --> 0:20:02.000 when you or I are stressed or anxiou our brain 0:20:02.040 --> 0:20:05.600 shifts into a completely different operating mode. It's not subtle. 0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:10.600 It's a full system takeover. And the first thing that happens. 0:20:10.640 --> 0:20:13.240 Remember we spoke about the imigla, the emotional epicenter of 0:20:13.280 --> 0:20:15.800 the brain, blah blah blah. The first thing that happens 0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:19.160 is you're amigdala. The brain's alarm center. It fires up. 0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:22.600 It's scanning for danger twenty four to seven. It doesn't 0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:26.639 care whether the threat is physical, emotional, social, or something else. 0:20:27.480 --> 0:20:33.000 A difficult conversation, a harsh email, financial pressure, embarrassment, uncertainty, rejection. 0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:36.640 You're amig Deala reacts to all of it like something 0:20:36.760 --> 0:20:40.880 bad is happening or is about to happen. And when 0:20:40.880 --> 0:20:43.280 the alarm goes off, it sends an urgent message to 0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:47.520 your body, which is essentially get ready. Something bad is happening, 0:20:47.600 --> 0:20:52.000 something's wrong, something is up. We are in danger. There's 0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:54.400 an imminent threat and so on, and our heart rate 0:20:54.440 --> 0:20:56.480 goes up and our breathing gets shallow. And I've told 0:20:56.520 --> 0:20:59.679 you before about all those physiological responses. Muscle get tense, 0:21:00.160 --> 0:21:06.879 muscles get tense, digestion slows down, stress hormones happen, nervous 0:21:06.920 --> 0:21:10.640 system goes nuts, and all of this is designed for survival, 0:21:11.200 --> 0:21:15.280 not for modern life. But here's the kicker with all 0:21:15.280 --> 0:21:18.880 of this stuff. Once the alarm sounds, your prefrontal cortex, 0:21:19.040 --> 0:21:24.040 the logical, rational, calm, strategic bit of your brain, it 0:21:24.119 --> 0:21:29.520 starts to go offline. And this is where this ability, 0:21:30.600 --> 0:21:34.960 this skill, this development of us being able to stay 0:21:35.000 --> 0:21:38.560 online in the middle of the chaos, that's the challenge. 0:21:38.920 --> 0:21:42.719 But typically in the middle of that amygdala kind of 0:21:44.040 --> 0:21:49.880 emotional disaster, alarm bells ringing, the prefrontal cortex, the thinking, 0:21:50.000 --> 0:21:52.800 the critical thinking, the decision making part of the brain 0:21:53.720 --> 0:21:57.879 starts to shut down, and just thinking clearly, just making 0:21:57.920 --> 0:22:03.320 decisions becomes a real struggle. And that's why stress makes 0:22:03.320 --> 0:22:11.720 you overreact and catastrophize and lose perspective and forget things 0:22:11.720 --> 0:22:14.800 and snap at people and make crazy impulsive decisions and 0:22:15.800 --> 0:22:20.040 overreact like a weirdo and feel overwhelmed by simple tasks. 0:22:21.640 --> 0:22:24.320 But you're not losing it. Your survival wiring is just 0:22:24.359 --> 0:22:28.840 overpowering your thinking brain. And this happens in nature, it 0:22:28.880 --> 0:22:32.560 happens in animals and humans. And it also explains why 0:22:32.680 --> 0:22:36.800 someone telling you to calm down. I always talk about 0:22:36.800 --> 0:22:39.080 that piece of advice don't worry to people who are worried. 0:22:40.160 --> 0:22:42.480 But it doesn't work. It never works. They literally don't 0:22:42.520 --> 0:22:44.679 have access to the part of the brain that could 0:22:44.720 --> 0:22:48.240 calm them down in that moment, That part of the 0:22:48.280 --> 0:22:51.560 brain that could calm them down in that panic state, 0:22:51.640 --> 0:22:55.800 in that stress state, in that overwhelm of anxiety, That 0:22:55.960 --> 0:22:59.240 part of the brain that does the calming down has 0:22:59.280 --> 0:23:03.960 gone offline. But the good news is that this system 0:23:04.080 --> 0:23:10.680 is incredibly responsive to regulation. So we can actually change 0:23:10.760 --> 0:23:16.159 our physiology consciously even when we're feeling this kind of 0:23:16.160 --> 0:23:22.119 stress and anxiety. Slow breathing, grounding, gentle movement, postural changes, 0:23:23.320 --> 0:23:27.480 simplifying tasks. We can do things even in a over 0:23:27.520 --> 0:23:31.399 a sixty second period, and all of these kind of 0:23:31.440 --> 0:23:35.560 physiological shifts or behaviors or actions that we take signal 0:23:35.600 --> 0:23:40.000 back up to the amigdala, hey champ, It's okay, stand down, 0:23:40.359 --> 0:23:43.960 stand down, it's all all right, We're safe. And once 0:23:44.800 --> 0:23:51.479 you can quieten the amygdala through consciously, you know, deep breathing, 0:23:51.600 --> 0:23:58.639 box breathing, stretching, putting your feet in some dirt, huggin 0:23:58.680 --> 0:24:00.080 and tree, whatever the fuck it is for you. You 0:24:00.359 --> 0:24:04.440 Once the amigdala quietens, the prefrontal cortex comes back online 0:24:04.920 --> 0:24:08.960 and we can think clearly. So it's not about we're 0:24:08.960 --> 0:24:12.480 not trying to totally eliminate stress or anxiety or overthinking 0:24:12.480 --> 0:24:15.160 all these responses from our life, but we're we're trying 0:24:15.200 --> 0:24:19.359 to learn how to regulate ourselves when they happen. So 0:24:19.480 --> 0:24:24.360 once the imigdala quietens, we can think again. The prefrontal 0:24:24.359 --> 0:24:27.720 cortex now works, We can make decisions, we can think clearly, 0:24:27.800 --> 0:24:33.120 We feel more grounded, the confusion evaporates, and we can 0:24:33.160 --> 0:24:37.119 see the options again. Stress isn't a flaw, Anxiety is 0:24:37.119 --> 0:24:39.679 not a weakness. It's just our brain switching into an 0:24:39.680 --> 0:24:44.480 ancient operating mode that sometimes misfires in a modern world. 0:24:45.000 --> 0:24:47.080 And the goal is not to eliminate stress, as I've said, 0:24:47.080 --> 0:24:49.320 that's impossible. The goals to learn how to switch your 0:24:49.359 --> 0:24:53.119 thinking brain back on. And this is one of my 0:24:53.200 --> 0:24:56.400 favorite areas of discussion and exploration and research. I don't 0:24:56.440 --> 0:25:00.000 know why, it just I'm personally fascinated with the eye 0:25:00.040 --> 0:25:02.720 idea of reality. So question ten is how does my 0:25:02.800 --> 0:25:07.399 brain create my reality? And so this is maybe one 0:25:07.480 --> 0:25:10.399 of the most mind blowing truths about being human, and 0:25:10.440 --> 0:25:14.800 that is you don't experience the world directly. You experience 0:25:14.880 --> 0:25:20.879 it through a filtered version that your brain creates. So 0:25:20.960 --> 0:25:24.760 your eyes is and senses take in raw data, but 0:25:24.800 --> 0:25:28.680 they don't send you a full, accurate transcript of reality. 0:25:28.720 --> 0:25:31.960 They send you fragments, clues, bits and pieces, and your 0:25:32.000 --> 0:25:35.880 brain then fills in the gaps using memories and beliefs 0:25:35.880 --> 0:25:40.600 and expectations and past experiences and biases and culture and 0:25:40.640 --> 0:25:45.600 conditioning and fears, and it predicts what it thinks is happening, 0:25:46.200 --> 0:25:50.600 and then it presents that to you as reality. Which 0:25:50.600 --> 0:25:52.880 is why five people who are in the same room 0:25:53.840 --> 0:25:58.920 going through what seems to be the same experience are 0:25:58.960 --> 0:26:03.680 in fact not having the same experience because their reality 0:26:03.800 --> 0:26:07.240 is not created by the situation or the circumstance or 0:26:07.280 --> 0:26:11.919 the external stimuli. Their reality as they experience it is 0:26:12.040 --> 0:26:15.200 created by all of that stuff that I just said. 0:26:16.119 --> 0:26:21.159 So what you perceive is not the objective truth, but 0:26:21.400 --> 0:26:26.760 rather your brain's best guess. We see it all the 0:26:26.800 --> 0:26:30.080 time where people live through the same event but go 0:26:30.160 --> 0:26:33.639 away within different interpretations. And your brain never starts with 0:26:33.760 --> 0:26:37.760 the world. It starts with you and then builds the 0:26:37.800 --> 0:26:44.520 world around that. It's also why you can misread tone 0:26:45.080 --> 0:26:48.119 of voice, assume the worst, overthink, or take things personally 0:26:48.920 --> 0:26:53.320 that weren't actually personal. Your brain is constantly trying to 0:26:53.320 --> 0:26:57.159 match new information to old patterns, even when that match 0:26:57.240 --> 0:27:01.640 is wrong. It's what we do. We may not even 0:27:01.760 --> 0:27:04.879 know the meaning of something, but we give it meaning, 0:27:05.359 --> 0:27:13.320 and quite often that assumption or that perspective is completely wrong. 0:27:14.760 --> 0:27:18.879 So we don't respond to what's happening as much as 0:27:19.080 --> 0:27:24.760 we respond to our story or what our brain thinks 0:27:24.840 --> 0:27:27.920 is happening. But I guess here's the empowering part. If 0:27:27.920 --> 0:27:31.359 the brain can create a distorted reality, it can also 0:27:31.480 --> 0:27:35.920 create a clearer one too. And so this is largely 0:27:36.000 --> 0:27:41.679 about awareness and being aware, Like here's something that's a 0:27:41.680 --> 0:27:43.320 bit of a mind fuck, being aware that you're not 0:27:43.359 --> 0:27:49.360 fully aware, and being mindful of your conditioning and your 0:27:49.440 --> 0:27:55.879 programming and navigating every situation, every conversation, every person, every relationship, 0:27:56.520 --> 0:28:02.800 every social dynamic navigating that knowing that you are just 0:28:02.960 --> 0:28:06.520