1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: City and with Kate Ritchie podcast, I want to talk 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: about whether social media is causing a problem or has 3 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:11,360 Speaker 1: caused a problem within the relationship. We've spoken about this before. 4 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: It could be as simple as you know, I guess, 5 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,840 Speaker 1: going going through the socials and seeing which kind of 6 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,640 Speaker 1: posts or photographs your partner likes. You know, you might 7 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: have a husband or a wife who puts a big 8 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:31,240 Speaker 1: love heart on scantily clad women and you just don't 9 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,840 Speaker 1: like it. You feel as though it's a bit disrespectful, 10 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:34,599 Speaker 1: and maybe it is. 11 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 2: If you've seen Kendall Jenner's posts, you'll see the like 12 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:39,480 Speaker 2: black black black black black black black black black black 13 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:40,519 Speaker 2: black from tom Ivy. 14 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:45,240 Speaker 1: Does your fingerh her over and make a decision about 15 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:46,520 Speaker 1: your marriage in that moment. 16 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 2: I've just stopped. 17 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:51,320 Speaker 3: I've stopped liking just the bikini shots because I'm like, well, 18 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 3: that doesn't. 19 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,199 Speaker 1: Better, So what else do you have? 20 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 3: Then? Her cooking or all of her uber Eatsad's really good. 21 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,279 Speaker 1: And that's probably about it, I think. 22 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 3: And this is the thing. If you're following what your 23 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 3: partner is liking, I think you're the one that has 24 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 3: the problem. 25 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 2: Sometimes you might not even follow, you might just see 26 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:11,440 Speaker 2: it pop up, you may go. 27 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: They always say that I just came across there. 28 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 2: And then always go, oh, she's like that again, that's 29 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 2: a funny, haven't because she's been liking the same guy 30 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 2: for three months now? You know, where does she go 31 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 2: on a Wednesday? That's not winning it? You know the 32 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 2: other one that happens to Kate and I know that 33 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:29,360 Speaker 2: at my place, we become quite particular about photos that 34 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,759 Speaker 2: are posted. So I'll say, if she takes a shot 35 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 2: of me, I'll go, I need approval, seriously to approve. 36 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,160 Speaker 1: The one of you in the south of France and 37 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 1: your white speedo's standing out in the You're kind of 38 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: like man mountain in the shallows. 39 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 2: I commissioned that. Yeah, I had a professional photosopher take that. 40 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 1: I was quite proud of that, to be honest, Kate, 41 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,920 Speaker 1: was there an issue with No? I know, I quite 42 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: liked it. Look that those things are pretty minor. This 43 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 1: story I'm talking about this morning is a woman who 44 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 1: is considering filing for divorce, even though in her culture 45 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,200 Speaker 1: it's not something you're even allowed to do, and it's 46 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: bringing shame upon the family because her and her husband 47 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 1: often rib each other about their weight game and it's 48 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 1: something that they might joke about in the kitchen. You 49 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,600 Speaker 1: know you weren't You're not what I married kind of. 50 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 1: And she says that she has gained weight since having 51 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: her children, and so he and he would often post 52 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 1: things about her. She's scrolling one day she checks out 53 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 1: his Instagram and there's a lovely he puts like funny 54 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:37,640 Speaker 1: reels on there, and she's even put funny reels up 55 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 1: there about how funny hilarious. I mean, where does the 56 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 1: day go? Funny reels afoot you fall into just a 57 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 1: rabbit warren a funny reel. She will post things about 58 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 1: how long he takes in the shower, that's funny. Yeah. 59 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,880 Speaker 1: So he posts something it's a real saying how much 60 00:02:56,919 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: he loves her, and she thinks this is lovely, and 61 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,639 Speaker 1: then she continue used to go through and another funny 62 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 1: reel pops up, and this is where the problem begins. 63 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 1: He has posted, without her approval, two photographs, one of 64 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:15,360 Speaker 1: when they were first married and one of what she 65 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 1: looks like now five years down. 66 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,560 Speaker 3: The trap proof of blowout. 67 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it is obvious that she has gained an 68 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:26,840 Speaker 1: incredible amount of weight since being married and having children, 69 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: which can happen, can happen, does happen, and is okay? 70 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,080 Speaker 1: She's also aging, so she might be carrying a little 71 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 1: bit too much. 72 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 2: Put on ate, like is it an unhealthy amount? 73 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 1: Well, he actually, well, I mean specific but the husband 74 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 1: did think that it was quite important to go through 75 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: specifics because he has written or there's a voiceover in 76 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 1: the background saying before wedding, my responsibility was for fifty 77 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: five kilos. Now it is seventy five kilos and it 78 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: keeps on increasing, and then that was followed by like 79 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: a cackling sounds, so him laughing. So he's absolutely fat 80 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 1: shaming her eating solids, and it's caused this enormous problem 81 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,600 Speaker 1: within the marriage because she feels she feels so humiliated, 82 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 1: as would I. So thirteen twenty four ten, if this 83 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: kind of thing has happened to you and the social 84 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,120 Speaker 1: media is causing an issue within the relations, do you 85 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 1: think it. 86 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:25,040 Speaker 2: Becomes fragile when it becomes a one way street? Like 87 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:28,800 Speaker 2: if she's done fat gear about him before and everyone's 88 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 2: had a bit of a laugh and he's gone with it, 89 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 2: and then he does it in reverse student, then sometimes 90 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 2: it just it doesn't sit as well. But he would 91 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 2: be thinking, well, you've done it to me fairst fair here. 92 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, so this is okay. But I think there's something 93 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: very different between having a joke in the kitchen and 94 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 1: maybe after dinner saying oh maybe we shouldn't have a 95 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,000 Speaker 1: piece of chocolate with our cup of tea tonight, or 96 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 1: in a layoff crazy laying off the chocolate, to posting 97 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 1: something publicly and shameful. 98 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:57,920 Speaker 3: Do you know what my rule is? I think you 99 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 3: get one warning, right, so it is always one page. 100 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 2: If you don't lose weight, i'll post it. 101 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:08,480 Speaker 3: No, there is there is in a relationship, one warning 102 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 3: from your partner saying I don't like that post. Can 103 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,479 Speaker 3: you please come to me? Yeah, and get your approval 104 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,680 Speaker 3: before you do the next one. I have been done 105 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 3: plenty of times. And I have got a video Kate 106 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 3: of my wife at a wedding in the dress on 107 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 3: a BMX going down a hill and off the edge 108 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:25,599 Speaker 3: of a clip. 109 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,239 Speaker 1: I remember hearing that on the radio. 110 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 3: It was hilenious, shut to you off. I show it 111 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,039 Speaker 3: to you, but I am not allowed. That is not 112 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,040 Speaker 3: allowed to go out into the atmosphere. 113 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,359 Speaker 1: And she's made that very clear that I agree a 114 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,160 Speaker 1: warning works well because you can't be a mind reader 115 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:40,799 Speaker 1: all the time. 116 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 3: Unbelievable. I said, we could sell it as an NFT 117 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 3: you and make a lot of money out of it. 118 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:46,479 Speaker 3: It's that good. 119 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,360 Speaker 2: We had a big Barnie one time because I said, 120 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,680 Speaker 2: I don't like that picture, take it down. And it 121 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:55,720 Speaker 2: wasn't of me, it was of her. And then she said, well, 122 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 2: it's my page and it's me and it doesn't work 123 00:05:58,600 --> 00:05:58,800 Speaker 2: for me. 124 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,160 Speaker 1: What was she doing in the home? 125 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,800 Speaker 2: I don't want to go into. It was slightly not provocative, 126 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 2: but more revealing the normal she was in the shower. 127 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:12,280 Speaker 2: Oh well that's a bit that won aful enough full length. Yeah, 128 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,600 Speaker 2: but the side of her holding one of the kids 129 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 2: so you couldn't see anything. But I just thought, I 130 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 2: don't know, it didn't work for me. 131 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:19,719 Speaker 1: And where do you stop? 132 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 2: Didn't work for that, Like you're suggesting she'll had the 133 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 2: only fan. 134 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:28,039 Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just saying, sometimes testing the waters when 135 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 1: you do things like that, Oh, how is this going 136 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: to go down? 137 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 2: To go further? 138 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: I don't know. 139 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 3: Did your social media get you into travel at home? 140 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 3: What is your policy? We'd love to hear from you. 141 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,720 Speaker 3: Getting a great call from Juliana Sanchi. We'll get him 142 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 3: on next Rachel and sin Ives. A friend of yours 143 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 3: posted about getting divorced. What happened, Rach? 144 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 4: Hey, guys, awesome job with your walk fifty. 145 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:50,520 Speaker 3: Oh thanks Mane. 146 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:51,719 Speaker 2: Oh that's nice, Rach. 147 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 4: She posted that he cheated on her and put it 148 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 4: all over social media about a year ago, and now 149 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 4: we've recently just signed out as they get back together. 150 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:06,920 Speaker 2: Awesome. How long is the downtime being raged between say 151 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,200 Speaker 2: the post and they get back together. 152 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 4: I think it's been about a year. 153 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 3: Okay, when there's how many times with friends when they 154 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:19,600 Speaker 3: break up with someone, you absolutely tea you absolutely tee 155 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,280 Speaker 3: off on the person that have just broken it up 156 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 3: with them, they get back together. 157 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 2: Rage. Did you remove the divorce pictures? 158 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:28,920 Speaker 5: Well? 159 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 4: I think they're on her story, so they got removed 160 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 4: to next day. 161 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 2: Okay, Well sometimes you got to do that. Clean it up, 162 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:35,400 Speaker 2: and we'll go again. 163 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,120 Speaker 3: Maddie and Penrith, tell us about your situation. 164 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,880 Speaker 5: Yeah, So I'm the psycho because my boyfriend was someone 165 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,400 Speaker 5: that's always posting everything and he never used to post 166 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 5: anything about me, and I kind of leave like subtle 167 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 5: hints here and there, like can you like pag me 168 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 5: and stuff, so like the world knows the exist and 169 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 5: he wouldn't. And like even on my birthday, he never 170 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 5: even like did a sinking story about me on my birthday. 171 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 5: And I was like, you know what, I can't if 172 00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 5: we're not social media together, we are not together. 173 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 2: Oh my god. Absolutely, But isn't there a part of 174 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 2: you that goes, hey, is that nice that in the 175 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 2: real world we just have what we have and not 176 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:10,320 Speaker 2: everything needs to be shared. 177 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 1: Well no, but look, I agree with you, but I 178 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 1: do think that it's a strange. It is a bit 179 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 1: of a red flag. I think this day and age, well, if. 180 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:23,200 Speaker 3: You're not proud to promote the person that you love for. 181 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 2: You, you might not need to promote them, Like I 182 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:27,360 Speaker 2: don't want to share my private life. 183 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,400 Speaker 1: No, but you can include them in some ways. And 184 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 1: I had a friend and she was married for a 185 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:36,680 Speaker 1: long time and her husband this marriage is now over 186 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 1: for many a myriad of reasons. He would never ever, 187 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: never include her. No family photos, some sometimes of the kids, 188 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,760 Speaker 1: but it would all be it wouldn't be related to 189 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 1: family because so maybe they could be his NEPH. 190 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 3: That's what social for me individually, that's what social media 191 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,920 Speaker 3: means to make you get to promote the things that 192 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 3: you love in your life. Yeah, because you get to 193 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 3: show people who you are. So obviously that guy, but 194 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 3: he wanted to look single, he wanted to look I 195 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 3: think he was looking to invite Yeah, other people in. 196 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,080 Speaker 3: So if they go through his page, yeah they go. 197 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 3: Other girls will go, oh, it doesn't look like he's 198 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:16,600 Speaker 3: got anyone know. 199 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,200 Speaker 1: And then when he says to them, Oh, I'm married, 200 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 1: but it's really difficult. We're just living together and it's 201 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:22,960 Speaker 1: not really worth. 202 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 3: Do you guys go through people's social media just to 203 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 3: see how close they are in a relationship. Do you 204 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 3: sometimes go, oh, Jesus been forward. So it's been six 205 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,679 Speaker 3: months before he's got a photo up. 206 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,880 Speaker 1: It's funny you should say that. I went to the 207 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 1: hairdressers yesterday and the woman who was doing my hair 208 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:47,319 Speaker 1: was talking about this documentary about some guy called Tyson Fury. 209 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,960 Speaker 1: Yeah box, So I didn't really know who Tyson Fury 210 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,720 Speaker 1: was until I saw his photo and I thought, oh, 211 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,760 Speaker 1: I know this guy. He's been through a rough patch 212 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: and rehab and all of that stuff. I know who 213 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 1: he is. Then she started talking about the wife and 214 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:03,200 Speaker 1: even me, who doesn't think I'm judging like this. Scrolled 215 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:09,719 Speaker 1: through Tyson Fury's Instagram but couldn't find a photo of Paris, 216 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:15,599 Speaker 1: and instantly my mind went, that's interesting. So then I 217 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:18,959 Speaker 1: quickly typed in Paris Fury and found her and she's 218 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 1: much more on board with the posting of him. 219 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,079 Speaker 2: So were you in with a shot? 220 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 1: I don't think I want that. He has eight kids, 221 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 1: the world, lots of money, but lots of expenses. 222 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:35,640 Speaker 2: Okay, another one, Wier with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast. 223 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 4: For more great comedy shows like this, head to Nova 224 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 4: podcast dot com, dot au.