WEBVTT - Your Boy Problems & Friendship Breakdowns | Help Me Out 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:04.640 Hello, welcome back. I think it's miss comes out. I'm 0:00:04.680 --> 0:00:06.640 in Saint Trope or Paris. 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:12.560 Shut up. Like my trip to. 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:14.120 Paris was like kind of spurrow at the moment. My 0:00:14.160 --> 0:00:17.400 friend Lucy, she lives in Barcelona, wor she doesn't live there, 0:00:17.440 --> 0:00:19.200 she works out of there a lot because she's like 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:23.960 big international sexy model, and she was like, let's go 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:26.720 to Paris for fashion week, for men's fashion week. 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:27.639 Oh yeah, me's. 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:31.360 I'm like, she goes this hot people ever were parties. 0:00:31.360 --> 0:00:33.080 I'm like, we're not even going to a show. I 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:34.320 don't want to go to a show. 0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:37.519 I want to go because I just feel like that 0:00:37.600 --> 0:00:40.120 time of year, like everyone's there and then it'll be 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:41.840 fucking amazing and I cannot wait. 0:00:42.159 --> 0:00:44.320 It's kind of like busy gonna wrap some shoulders. 0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:49.640 Yeah fuck yeah, I'm so excited. All right, this week 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:52.040 we're doing help me out. I feel like, you know, 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:54.160 maybe we haven't done those in a little while, not 0:00:54.240 --> 0:00:57.440 together anyway, but hear me out, like. 0:00:58.120 --> 0:00:59.200 I do have a hear me out. 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:01.600 I'm scared this is going to be controversial, but I'm 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:02.400 just going to say it. 0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:07.120 Okay, hear me out. We are all pretending to like salad. 0:01:07.560 --> 0:01:10.759 Oh fuck yah fuck yeah, I've. 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:13.520 Never been a saladator. I can eat any vegetable, but 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:14.800 I just know, yeah. 0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:17.440 I like roast veggies and stuff like veggie on the side. 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:21.800 But like I will never understand the appeal of like leaves, 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:24.800 like I just unless it's okay, the salad has to 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:30.119 have like some cheese in it, like feta, goat cheese, tomato, cucumber, 0:01:30.280 --> 0:01:32.039 like that kind of shit I'll eat, but like i'll 0:01:32.080 --> 0:01:33.920 eat it as like a side. I would never like, 0:01:34.160 --> 0:01:36.360 oh yum, I'm craving this salad. 0:01:37.040 --> 0:01:41.440 But live love salad like she really likes them. 0:01:41.720 --> 0:01:44.560 And I just don't understand it because I'll never pick 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:47.840 a salad over something else, like I need something warmy warmy, 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:53.800 I need something warm cheesy tomato eat and carbi. There 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:55.600 might just has prerequisites. 0:01:56.400 --> 0:01:58.680 It just has to be so like not a salad 0:01:58.760 --> 0:01:59.920 for me to enjoy it. 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:02.280 Yeah, it has to be an unhealthy salad for me 0:02:02.320 --> 0:02:04.720 to enjoy it. And even then, like I'm not getting 0:02:04.800 --> 0:02:05.480 it alone. 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:08.840 I'm all for having it with things that you do enjoy, 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:11.240 and you can't just be eating things that you like. 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:14.639 But like I then find it like the juxtaposition between 0:02:14.639 --> 0:02:16.560 the thing I like and a salad, like it's almost 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:17.480 punishing to eat. 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:18.880 Yeah, the salad for me is. 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:21.720 Just like there because I feel like I need vegetables. 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:23.400 Like, it's not because I want it. 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:26.000 Like if I'm getting a steak and like mash sauce 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:28.440 LAO la potatoes. 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:30.080 And I'm like, I'll get some fucking broccoli on the side. 0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:32.639 Broccoli is fine, it's just if it was broccoli and 0:02:32.680 --> 0:02:35.200 a salad, I wouldn't want it, Like I don't like salads. 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:37.720 Yeah, if I'm in a group, I definitely put salad 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:39.880 on the plate to look good and then I'll eat 0:02:39.960 --> 0:02:40.919 like one eighth. 0:02:41.240 --> 0:02:43.840 Yeah, every time I order over, it's like if I 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:46.320 order pasta out, Like if there's like some sort of 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:48.919 like vegetable side that I is appealing to me, I 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:52.080 will get it. I never eat it, I never touch 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:54.000 it. It's just to me. The fact that it's there has 0:02:54.040 --> 0:02:55.600 made me feel like I'm doing something. But like I 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:57.360 always feel like shit when I'm throwing it out and 0:02:57.360 --> 0:02:58.560 I haven't done it at all. 0:02:59.680 --> 0:03:01.720 It's like, hey, I thought about it. I thought about it. 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:03.840 I was considering it like I was down. 0:03:03.600 --> 0:03:06.280 To eat it, but I just I got full of 0:03:06.280 --> 0:03:06.880 my faster. 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:12.000 It just wasn't wasn't happening for me. No, I think 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:12.760 that's so valid. 0:03:12.919 --> 0:03:15.119 I'm like, really, yeah, sorry to all the salad girl 0:03:15.200 --> 0:03:17.320 is out there, and it's obviously healthy, so I'm not 0:03:17.400 --> 0:03:18.480 gonna judge you for. 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:19.520 That, Like I'm proud of you. 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:22.120 But I just like, I need to understand how I 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:24.960 get that in me that I like them as well, 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:27.359 because like, if I liked them, they're like that would 0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:30.359 be it would make my life a lot easier, cheaper. 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:32.840 Yeah, And I'm also at the stage of realizing, like 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:35.960 I can't keep saying like when I'm older. 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:38.320 I'm like, I'm twenty six now, I'm not going to 0:03:38.400 --> 0:03:39.080 like it when I'm older. 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:42.760 About that, I can't talk about it. We're like adults now. 0:03:42.800 --> 0:03:45.400 I still don't classify myself as an adult. I am 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:48.480 a young adult. I am a teenager. I think until 0:03:48.520 --> 0:03:51.800 I own a house and have a mortgage and a husbands, 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:52.880 I'm a kid. 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:59.000 Yeah, please, Like, can we change your rules just like, say, 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:01.240 thirties adult, I'll take that. 0:04:02.120 --> 0:04:05.440 Even then because thirty's so young still it is, but 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:09.160 like Jackie's I think thirty two or something, and I 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:12.440 still think she's like me, we're teenagers. 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:14.960 I know, it's all about the aura. 0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:17.799 Yeah, I think once you get older though, like thirty. 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:19.400 You know, when we were like eighteen, like a thirty 0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:21.080 year old like that's an adult. But now that I'm 0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:22.520 twenty six and like thirty year olds are. 0:04:22.600 --> 0:04:23.440 Literally the same with me. 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:25.920 Yeah, I think thirty four is when I see people 0:04:25.960 --> 0:04:27.160 start getting really serious. 0:04:27.240 --> 0:04:28.880 Sorry Jackie, becoming an adult soon. 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:33.599 Hun, we love you, We love you, all right, let's 0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:35.320 get into help me out. 0:04:36.240 --> 0:04:36.719 Oh my god. 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:40.080 Also side note, my mum has started posting on TikTok. 0:04:40.680 --> 0:04:42.800 I've only seen the first one. No, I think she's 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:43.720 supposed another one today. 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:46.920 She's texted saying she posted another one and she's wanted 0:04:47.000 --> 0:04:49.240 to do that for a really really long time, and 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:52.440 I think she took a while to build up, you know, 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:55.800 the courage to post online, especially when you've never done 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:58.400 anything like that before. And like maybe I think there's 0:04:58.400 --> 0:05:00.560 also the fear a lot of the time, and people 0:05:00.600 --> 0:05:04.479 post online like get young, like people as well, that 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:07.160 people that they know are going to be like why 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:09.480 are they doing that? You know, it's never the fear 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:11.800 of the people you don't know seeing it a lot 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:14.040 of the time it's and I felt like that that 0:05:14.120 --> 0:05:16.880 people I went to school with and like people I 0:05:16.960 --> 0:05:18.520 knew would be like, oh. 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:19.159 What's she doing? 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:22.239 Like that's a huge fear, and it's hard to push 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:22.800 a good point. 0:05:22.960 --> 0:05:24.440 Yeah, it's hard to push through that. 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:27.120 Like that's why I net didn't really post work on 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:29.839 Instagram for a really long time because I was like, TikTok, 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:31.520 I have like a master bunch of followers that don't 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:34.200 really know me, but like my followers on Instagram are 0:05:34.200 --> 0:05:37.159 my friends, you know. So I'm really proud of mum. 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:39.640 I think I'll tell you what I think. It's heart 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:41.719 turned up. She comments on a lot of my shits, 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:44.240 so if you want to know who it is. But 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:47.320 she's just kind of just being very raw and honest, 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:49.120 and I think she just kind of wants to talk 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:50.440 about like life. 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:51.440 She's very spiritual. 0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:53.919 So if you are and maybe you just want some 0:05:54.000 --> 0:05:57.039 life advice, have a look. Go mom, love you, proud 0:05:57.040 --> 0:05:57.560 of you you can. 0:05:57.600 --> 0:06:01.239 And she's absolutely glowing in the video. She just seems happy. 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:02.640 I think she's just really proud of us, like that 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:05.479 she finally like beat that bullet and so am I. So, 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:08.200 you know, my mum's the one that was in the cult. 0:06:08.360 --> 0:06:10.160 In case anyone knows you, guys always like bring her 0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:11.800 back on, like talk about the cult again. I'm like, 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:13.640 we can't really talk about the same thing again. 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:15.600 But that was just for girls. 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:18.119 So I definitely think I'll get on at some point 0:06:18.160 --> 0:06:20.919 when I get home, because she does really give amazing advice. 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:23.559 I've been very blessed to have. Well. 0:06:22.520 --> 0:06:25.520 I also think when you last spoke to her, she 0:06:25.520 --> 0:06:28.599 would have learned so much, like yeah, between then and 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:30.480 obviously she's on the new journey now, so she might 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:34.039 have a whole new perspective totally and more to reflect on. 0:06:34.480 --> 0:06:38.520 Absolutely, well, go mum, you can do it, and it 0:06:38.600 --> 0:06:42.360 shows that you can push past your fears and posting 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:45.240 on social media like yes she was really scared, but 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:46.840 once you buy the bullet, it's really not that. 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:51.920 Bad coming for this crown. She is rightly ready started 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:57.479 coming for it but not happening. Guys, it's mine. 0:06:58.720 --> 0:07:04.680 Follow my mum, all right, I'm joking In case anyone 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:06.280 like thinks I'm serious, then but I'm not. 0:07:06.600 --> 0:07:09.800 Alrighty help me out? Hi? 0:07:10.000 --> 0:07:12.080 Is he love the Pardner? I look forward to it 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:13.320 every week to listen. 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:15.520 Thank you. I have a dilemma. 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:17.680 I feel like whenever I start speaking to a guy, 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:22.080 I only begin to like them when they leave. You're 0:07:22.120 --> 0:07:27.440 speaking my language. Girl, Let's work through this together. For example, 0:07:27.520 --> 0:07:28.960 there has been this guy was like me for a 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:31.840 very long time, and every time we're out, he will 0:07:31.840 --> 0:07:33.800 always be there flirting with me, asking me to come 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:35.840 home with him, asking me on dates twenty four seven. 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:38.400 But I say no because I weirdly get scared. 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:40.240 But as soon as they move on and find someone else, 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:42.560 I finally let myself realize that I do have feelings 0:07:42.560 --> 0:07:46.200 for them. I'm really stuck because this has happened a 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:47.840 couple of times with different guys, and how do I 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:49.320 let myself have feelings for them. 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:50.600 In the moment and not be scared. 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:53.760 I've had a really bad past relationship that's kind of 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:55.240 messed me up, and now I think it's made me 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:57.080 afraid of being in one again. 0:07:57.440 --> 0:07:59.679 How do I let myself be open to these guys? Help? 0:08:00.960 --> 0:08:05.760 Honestly, I find that I am very similar. I don't 0:08:05.800 --> 0:08:08.840 really ever have feelings for guys, to be completely honest like, 0:08:10.200 --> 0:08:12.320 and I do maybe put that down to being hurt 0:08:12.320 --> 0:08:14.120 in the past. I think that's like a good sort 0:08:14.160 --> 0:08:17.760 of way to find the cause. But I definitely my 0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:21.800 interest definitely grows once there's goes away, you know, and 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:25.720 it's very not healthy and it sucks because it doesn't 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:29.000 really allow you to build anything or find anything of 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:31.600 like you're only interested once they're not giving you a 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:34.640 bar anymore. I wish I had an answer, honey, but 0:08:34.679 --> 0:08:37.679 I actually like don't know because I think I am, 0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:41.960 Like what you just said is very similar to me, Blake, 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:42.880 do you have anything? 0:08:43.200 --> 0:08:44.920 Yeah, now it's about to jump in. 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:47.679 Yeah, I was thinking the whole time, like it is 0:08:48.160 --> 0:08:51.280 the most human experience in so many different ways, Like 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:53.840 I don't I don't even think, and it's applied to dating, 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:57.280 like I just think genuinely in life when something escaped, 0:08:57.320 --> 0:08:59.520 she like, wait, I think I wanted that. Yeah, but 0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:03.120 I near for recognizing a cycle. And I don't know 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:07.120 if this advice is helpful, but I feel like it's 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:09.920 so common and every time I've known someone that goes 0:09:09.960 --> 0:09:13.720 through this, like sadly, they just do find someone that 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:15.760 they're willing to push past that for and are actually 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:17.040 I do like you, I. 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:22.640 Think you know, and like I believe that, Like, yeah, 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:25.680 I definitely have those fears about meeting someone and like 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:27.400 that I'm not going to be able to like let 0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:30.319 them in when I need to in order to make 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:33.400 it happen, because like I am quite closed off. Like 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:34.960 I speak to you guys, like I'm open and like 0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:36.600 I really want to meet someone and I do, but 0:09:36.679 --> 0:09:39.040 like I'm very very closed off when it comes to dating. 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:42.040 And I think that's why, like I'm never in a situationship, 0:09:42.040 --> 0:09:44.520 I'm never really seeing anyone Like to me, I feel 0:09:44.520 --> 0:09:46.679 like I'll know when I know, and like unless I 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:48.600 feel like I know, I kind of don't give anything 0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:51.320 any time, and like I don't think that's a good 0:09:51.320 --> 0:09:54.760 way to be, but I think I still do believe 0:09:54.760 --> 0:09:56.920 that that, like when it's someone that's like worth my time, 0:09:56.960 --> 0:09:59.440 I will be different. So I think just give yourself 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:01.200 a bit of slagh. 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:03.080 It's so normal and. 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:07.199 It's so human and there's no way to overtly change that, 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:09.120 do you know what I mean? Like that's just how 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:12.480 you feel, and you can't switch on feeling for someone 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:13.120 just because. 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:16.000 They're feeling for you. It's probably just not the right person. 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:19.440 And she didn't speak about your last situation, but it 0:10:19.480 --> 0:10:24.000 obviously sounds like your ex relationship is playing on your 0:10:24.040 --> 0:10:26.200 mind a bit. Maybe you're not quite over it, and 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:28.080 it doesn't mean you're not over him, but it could 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:29.520 just be the situation. 0:10:29.160 --> 0:10:30.720 Or how it ended totally. 0:10:30.760 --> 0:10:33.480 But I feel like once you move past, like you'll 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:35.920 just be so much more open to love and you're 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:37.480 probably just battling a few things out. 0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:40.000 Yeah, but don't get yourself down on it, like, it 0:10:40.000 --> 0:10:42.960 doesn't mean you're broken. I feel like it's so normal, 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:46.120 so and so many men would experience the same thing 0:10:46.160 --> 0:10:46.560 as well. 0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:49.840 It's just life, sadly, you know. 0:10:50.080 --> 0:10:53.800 So it'll I'm like, look at me, I'm all like DEPRESSEDO, 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:56.800 because I'm like, fuck, that's like literally you speaking my language. 0:10:56.840 --> 0:10:57.040 Girl. 0:10:57.120 --> 0:11:00.920 God damn, I did I accidentally write in myself. It'll 0:11:00.920 --> 0:11:04.520 be okay, we'll find them, all right. 0:11:04.679 --> 0:11:08.120 My ex boyfriend's mum misses me. That makes one of 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:15.000 us fucking hell. I was always very close with my 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:17.560 ex's family and I went on family holidays with them, 0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:20.400 and his mum was the mum that everyone went to 0:11:20.880 --> 0:11:23.080 but when they needed help with something, she was very 0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:25.760 very cool. But it's been three years now since we 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:28.360 broke up, and his mum still messages me on my birthday, 0:11:28.600 --> 0:11:31.480 likes my Instagram photos and stories and even replies to 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:35.200 them despite my new partner being in photos. I think 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:37.600 so far, I think that's just very sweet. I feel 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:39.200 like she obviously really likes you as a person and 0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:40.960 kind of wants you to be happy regardless of whether 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:43.720 it's with her son or someone else. You know, like 0:11:43.840 --> 0:11:46.960 that's what I'm gathering her or not. But Okay, reading, 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:50.400 I hope it doesn't get bad. My current partner thinks 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:52.640 it's a bit weird and doesn't feel super comfortable with it. 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:54.959 Yet I don't see the problem. What am I supposed 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:56.920 to do. I can't block her. That seems rude, But 0:11:56.960 --> 0:11:59.520 I also understand where where my partner is coming from. 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:02.360 I don't think it's weird. I think she's a mum, 0:12:02.440 --> 0:12:05.720 she's an adult. She obviously just thinks you're a great person. 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:07.880 And yeah, I think she wants you to be happy 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:09.640 regardless of who it's with, and she just kind of 0:12:09.640 --> 0:12:11.720 wants to keep following along with your life because obviously 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:14.840 you were a big part in her family's life for 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:17.440 a while there. So I kind of just think you 0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:19.920 need to explain that to your boyfriend. I don't think 0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:21.800 you should block her, It's up to you. 0:12:21.920 --> 0:12:25.040 Yeah, it's like, what's the better opposite, because I think 0:12:25.040 --> 0:12:28.520 it's so common for some parents to get overly involved 0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:32.040 and then be malicious towards the Actually yeah, like it's 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:34.280 actually nice in this instance for a mum, just like no, 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:36.679 I loved you and wanning well for her. 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:37.160 I know it. 0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:40.040 I understand it's probably uncomfortable, and I'm sure if you 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:42.240 started dating a guy and had that going on, you'd 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:43.640 be like, what is going on? 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:48.080 It's innocent. I get the uncomfortableness. I guess if it 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:49.040 was Roles reverse. 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:51.920 But look, if it's a point where it's like a 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:55.840 point of contention and arguments for your relationship, Like I 0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:59.600 just think blocking's very strong, But also like who do 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:01.920 we want to keep happy? Like who's more a priority 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:04.120 to keep happy? And I guess it is the current partner, 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:07.199 But I think you kind of need to just explain 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:09.240 to him that it's not about her wanting like you 0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:10.320 back with the son. 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:12.080 It's just she wants you to be happy. 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:14.960 And if she's replying and positively to photos of you 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:17.160 and your new partner, I think that's that's sweet. 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:19.840 Yeah, And it doesn't sound like she's replying, or they're 0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:22.440 having back and forth messages or they're catching up for 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:23.320 you know, dinner. 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:26.720 Yeah, I would think don't maybe don't do that. Yeah, 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:30.000 they don't have likedos if you can say like thank 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:32.080 you and like hard o messages and stuff, because like 0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:35.360 adults don't really like register, like when they're being like 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:38.160 left on red or like they'll keep going, you know 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:38.600 what I mean. 0:13:39.360 --> 0:13:40.480 Alessome, blessome. 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:43.480 All right, hey girl, be fan of the body, hoping 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:45.760 you can help me out. My boyfriend and I have 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:48.120 been dating for around two months now, and he doesn't 0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:49.800 seem like very long at all, but it's my first 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:53.160 serious relationship after years of shitty man and random talking stages. 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:57.520 Talking stage makes me want to fucking die. 0:13:57.880 --> 0:13:59.920 He's honestly everything I could ever want and ask for, 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:02.280 but I find myself feeling super anxious and upset when 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:03.160 we're apart. 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:04.880 We don't exactly live around the corner. 0:14:04.920 --> 0:14:06.760 We're about an hour and a half away from each other, 0:14:06.840 --> 0:14:08.840 and it's super hard to plan things with our work 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:12.840 schedules and everyday life. When we're together, everything is perfect, 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:15.160 and I've honestly never felt this way with anyone before. 0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:16.720 I just want to see him all the time. 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:19.080 When we aren't together, I get super scared that he's 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:21.480 going to leave and I'll be hurt again. He's so 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:23.640 reassuring and has never given me any reason to doubt 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:25.320 our relationship, but I can't help but feel like I 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:26.840 will push him away if I keep getting in my 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:29.400 head like this. I can really see this last thing 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:31.160 and I don't want to do anything to mess things up, 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:33.520 but I need to heal from this random, anxious attachment 0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:36.440 I've been having. This also is coming from a girl 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:38.720 who previously was the most avoidant you would ever meet, 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:41.280 and I really feel like I'm going insane Hoping you 0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:42.280 can give me some advice. 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:45.280 I yeah, look, it's. 0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:48.480 A hard situation, and I do think that you can 0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:51.000 push someone away by being like that and being so 0:14:51.080 --> 0:14:54.560 scared they're going to leave, you know, Can I honestly 0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:57.720 say that? I think maybe you definitely need to speak 0:14:57.760 --> 0:14:59.640 to him about it. Just be honest with how you 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:02.000 feeling and like know that like how you're feeling is 0:15:02.040 --> 0:15:03.880 like a little bit irrational, and be like, I know 0:15:03.880 --> 0:15:05.320 you've done nothing to make me feel like that, this 0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:07.920 is just how I'm feeling like and I know it's 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:11.760 like irrational. Maybe is there someone you can talk to like, 0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:14.960 because anxious attachment it's very common, Like it's nothing to 0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:18.000 be like embarrassed about. I definitely felt like that in 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:21.360 relationships in the past, just because of my experiences with ex's. 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:25.280 I think maybe speaking to someone like I'm not being like, 0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:28.680 go see a therapist, but like, there's nothing embarrassing about therapy, 0:15:28.720 --> 0:15:30.280 And I definitely think it's nice to have someone that 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:33.160 you can speak to because if you really want this 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:35.360 to work and you see it working, like I think 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:39.920 everyone can do work on themselves, and maybe it's a 0:15:39.920 --> 0:15:40.600 good place to start. 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:42.200 I know that sounds really crazy. 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:43.600 Like me just being like ghost the therapists like do 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:45.720 not I mean it in a bad way, But I 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:49.720 think talking those sort of things out with someone outside 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:51.080 of it can maybe help you kind of get a 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:53.920 better understanding of why you're feeling like that and hopefully 0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:57.600 fix it, because yeah, I do think avoid an attachment 0:15:57.640 --> 0:15:59.400 and an anxious attachment of both two things that I think 0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:00.960 can grew up a relationship really quickly. 0:16:01.240 --> 0:16:04.000 No, I think therapy is amazing for anxiety because it's 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:06.400 so deep rooted, so it's hard to get those answers 0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:07.479 from friends. 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:10.800 Are just going to tell you what you want to hear. Yeah, 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:12.840 and also, don't be anxious, babe. It was like, yeah, 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:15.320 of course someone said that to me the other day. 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:17.520 It was Jillanie. 0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:19.840 I fucking love that girl, but holy shit, we were 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:21.240 like in the past summer. She goes, why don't you 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:23.360 just stop being anxious? I go, are you fucking okay? 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:27.040 I go, okay, I'm done and anxieties. I ever, thank you. 0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:30.160 She couldn't stop fucking laughing. I'm like, you idiot, Like 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:33.720 you do not say that to someone anyway. 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:37.240 It's almost it's always the most free will. Yeah, she 0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:39.200 obviously didn't mean a bad it. I thought it was hilarious, 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:41.280 but I'm like, yeah, it's done, thanks Danny. All good. 0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:42.280 I'm better now. 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:44.240 But I feel like I went through this at the 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:47.520 start of my relationship. I was really young, and I 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:50.280 think maybe I had a few similar experiences in the 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:53.960 past and it sounds so unhelpful, but they really did 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:57.320 just hit a day where I just felt comfortable, sure 0:16:57.400 --> 0:17:00.080 of myself, sure of my relationship, with my position in 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:04.480 that Like it's sadly a risk you take when you 0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:07.159 get into a relationship, like you're putting your full trust 0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:09.880 into someone. It takes a long time to develop. 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:10.320 That, and it's news. 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:13.480 Yeah, you know, I think maybe it'll take a little 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:15.480