1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:04,160 Speaker 1: Gooda team. I hope you're great. So it's Monday here 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,080 Speaker 1: in the thriving metropolis, or I just looked at t 3 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 1: one o'clock. It's exactly thirteen hundred hours here on a Monday. 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:12,600 Speaker 1: It's the tenth of June. I hope this finds you 5 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 1: well whenever you are listening to it, wherever you are, 6 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:18,800 Speaker 1: whatever you do on I genuinely hope life is good 7 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:24,279 Speaker 1: for you. And with that in mind, that is what 8 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 1: I'm talking about today. I'm talking about life as the 9 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 1: thing that we inhabit, the practical, three dimensional physical existence 10 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,000 Speaker 1: that we have in the middle of work, in the 11 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,839 Speaker 1: middle of relationships and in the middle of all of 12 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 1: our commitments and obligations and joy and pain and pleasure, 13 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:47,199 Speaker 1: and then more on an internal level, that kind of 14 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: emotional and psychological and sociological, perhaps and spiritual experience of life. 15 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 1: There's the situation we're in, and then there's the experience 16 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 1: we have of the situation or the circumstance or the 17 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:05,040 Speaker 1: environment that we're in. And yesterday, yesterday I did a workshop, 18 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 1: a private workshop. That's funny, private workshop by twenty people. 19 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:10,759 Speaker 1: So it's kind of public, isn't it. But I think 20 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: anything for me. Anything that's like twenty people, I call 21 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 1: it a private workshop. Anyway, So I did a private 22 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 1: workshop here in Hampton, and we had about five hours 23 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,319 Speaker 1: together and we spoke about a lot of things. But 24 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 1: somebody came up to me in one of the breaks 25 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:32,960 Speaker 1: and I was talking to them about this idea of 26 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: designing our life and creating our life. And yes, there's 27 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,839 Speaker 1: stuff that's in our control, of course, and there's stuff 28 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:45,039 Speaker 1: that's out of our control. And of course there is 29 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 1: a certain level of unpredictability and unknown and uncertain and 30 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 1: uncomfortable that comes with the human experience. And of course 31 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,000 Speaker 1: we've got to acknowledge that we can't plan for everything, 32 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 1: we can't anticipate everything, and that bad things happen to 33 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 1: good people, and good things happen to bad people, and 34 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 1: we don't know why. We just know that that is 35 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: an inevitability of the human experience. And you're going to 36 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 1: have great shit happen to you and terrible shit happened 37 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 1: to you, and good days and bad days, and physical, mental, emotional, social, financial, personal, 38 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,799 Speaker 1: professional peaks and troughs, and in the middle of it, 39 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:24,800 Speaker 1: you've got to make do. You've got to survive and 40 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: hopefully thrive. And something that dawns on me, has dawned 41 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,520 Speaker 1: on me for years, is the amount of people that 42 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: And there's no judgment or criticism in this. This is 43 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 1: coming from a good place of spending much of my 44 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,240 Speaker 1: life trying to help people think better, do better, create better, 45 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,800 Speaker 1: build the body they want, their health, they want, the business, 46 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: the brand, the lifestyle, you know, the relationships, the communication, 47 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 1: and the inner world of joy and calm and peace 48 00:02:54,800 --> 00:03:00,480 Speaker 1: and satisfaction and contentment and hope. But it's it never 49 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 1: ceases to amaze me how many people live in a 50 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 1: kind of This wasn't my plan state. I didn't This 51 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:12,960 Speaker 1: wasn't what I wanted, This wasn't what I intended, This 52 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: wasn't what I thought would happen or where I thought 53 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,960 Speaker 1: I would be at this stage of my life. I 54 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: didn't plan to end up here in this literal or 55 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:29,000 Speaker 1: metaphoric place or state. And the amount of people that 56 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:33,079 Speaker 1: I work with and talk to and connect with that 57 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 1: almost seemed to be a passenger in their own life. 58 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,840 Speaker 1: You know, if we compare our life to a vehicle, 59 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: a kaha or a bus or something, and it's almost 60 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:47,360 Speaker 1: like we're a passenger on that vehicle. In that vehicle, 61 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 1: we're being swept along with the momentum and the flow 62 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:55,000 Speaker 1: and the mayhem and the energy of the life that 63 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: we inhabit as the life that inhabits us. But then 64 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 1: there's the practical life that we exist, that physical, three 65 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: dimensional life where all that stuff happens. And you know, 66 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,839 Speaker 1: for many people that being swept along or I guess 67 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 1: another metaphor analogy would be in would be being in 68 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: that river where there's a certain current and flow and 69 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 1: energy and we're in that river and we just go 70 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: where it takes us. And while there can be there 71 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,599 Speaker 1: can be a joy to that, and there can be 72 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 1: a kind of an organic kind of development in that, 73 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 1: I guess, and learning and growing and dealing with the 74 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:40,279 Speaker 1: unpredictability and the uncertainty, but also the idea of getting 75 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:43,080 Speaker 1: out of the river sometimes and standing on the bank 76 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: of the metaphoric river and saying, am I going in 77 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 1: the direction that I want to go? Am I doing 78 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 1: the things that align with my values and who I 79 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:55,479 Speaker 1: want to be and how I want to be? Am 80 00:04:55,600 --> 00:05:00,279 Speaker 1: I living my plan? Do I have a plan? You know, 81 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,360 Speaker 1: so many people when they say to me, this wasn't 82 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 1: my plan, and I say, could you tell me what 83 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 1: the plan was? And they kind of look at me quizzically, 84 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: and I say, well, you said this where you are 85 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 1: your life, the current state of your life, wasn't your plan? 86 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: What was your plan? And can I see a copy 87 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 1: of the plan so that I can kind of get context? 88 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: And people look at me quizically because well, there is 89 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:32,040 Speaker 1: no plan, There is no there was nothing written down. 90 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: There is no copy of a plan that I can 91 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:37,280 Speaker 1: look at, because in truth, they didn't really have a 92 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:42,200 Speaker 1: plan or a strategy or a timeline or a protocol 93 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:46,719 Speaker 1: or an accountability process. They just had an idea in 94 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:51,040 Speaker 1: their head of how life would work out for them 95 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 1: or where they would be in five or ten years, 96 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:59,840 Speaker 1: thinking that things would kind of unfold and happen and 97 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:04,360 Speaker 1: would somehow land on their feet, the old magical, mystical 98 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:12,039 Speaker 1: landing on the feet, rather than saying, okay, it's June tenth, 99 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:18,840 Speaker 1: twenty twenty four, on Planet Craig, I'm sixty, When I'm 100 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:23,840 Speaker 1: sixty five, these are the things that I would like. Hopefully, 101 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 1: maybe this is my five year plan, or it's my 102 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,760 Speaker 1: one year plan. Let's stay with a five year plan. 103 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:32,719 Speaker 1: I hope that when I plan that when I'm sixty five, 104 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,560 Speaker 1: this is my intention, this is what I would like. 105 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 1: These are the goals that I have. So now I'm 106 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,160 Speaker 1: going to create a plan around that, that five year plan, 107 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 1: a structure, a process, a timeline, some accountability. It's a 108 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,719 Speaker 1: do list. I'm going to have some KPIs, some targets 109 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,839 Speaker 1: that I need to reach or hit along the way, 110 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 1: so that I just don't have some aspiration or vague 111 00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:02,040 Speaker 1: hope or finger crossing intention in the back of my mind. 112 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,599 Speaker 1: I actually have in the front of my mind a 113 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:09,840 Speaker 1: concrete strategy and plan of how I will create the 114 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 1: outcomes that I want to create in my business, in 115 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: my life, in my relationships, with my physical, mental, and 116 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 1: emotional health, with my lifestyle, with my situation, circumstance environment. 117 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,480 Speaker 1: I will have a plan. Now, that doesn't mean our 118 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 1: life has got to be one big strategy and there 119 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,679 Speaker 1: is no joy, or there is no intuition or organic 120 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 1: kind of expression, or there is no flow. But we 121 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,960 Speaker 1: don't even we don't need to operate in either that 122 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 1: organic let's see where we go flow state or the 123 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:48,119 Speaker 1: strategy state. I believe the human experience, the best version 124 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 1: of the human experience, is where we can improvise, adapt 125 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 1: and overcome. We can go with a flow. We can 126 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: we can have things that just come up and change 127 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 1: the direction or the course of our life that we 128 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,000 Speaker 1: didn't plan. But also at the same stop, at the 129 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 1: same time, we can have a destination that we're heading 130 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 1: towards that does involve a degree of strategy, a degree 131 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 1: of work, a degree of effort and energy and focus 132 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:21,280 Speaker 1: and resilience and adaptability, so that we are not the 133 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 1: passenger on that bus, so that we are not a 134 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:29,720 Speaker 1: character in our own story. The amount of people that 135 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 1: I talk to that tell me that where they are 136 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 1: in their life is not where they want to be. 137 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:46,960 Speaker 1: But in many ways they have been living unconsciously. They 138 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 1: have been unconsciously getting up every day and doing kind 139 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 1: of a version of the thing that they did yesterday, 140 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 1: day before, week before, month before, year before, that wasn't 141 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: in the first place, wasn't optimal anyway. I often say 142 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:07,040 Speaker 1: to somebody something about, let's just go with and this 143 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 1: is just an example, but their health. I don't meet 144 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,640 Speaker 1: many people who, given the opportunity, wouldn't want to be healthier. 145 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,360 Speaker 1: I don't meet anyone who wants to be less healthy. 146 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:22,680 Speaker 1: And when I say, all right, so is one of 147 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,200 Speaker 1: your goals to improve your health and your function and 148 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,760 Speaker 1: your energy and to potentially live longer, and not just 149 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 1: live longer, but live healthy for longer. So not just 150 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 1: to improve potentially improve your lifespan or your potential lifespan, 151 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: but also your health span. Everyone will say, well, fuck, yes, 152 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 1: of course I want that. And then I'll say, well, 153 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 1: tell me about the booze, the seven days a week booze. 154 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:51,920 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, there's that. So again, this is not self loathing. 155 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:55,120 Speaker 1: This is self awareness. This is acknowledgment. What is the 156 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: thing that I really want for my life? What does 157 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,360 Speaker 1: my best life look like? What does that even mean? 158 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 1: What does a healthy body look like for me? How 159 00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:08,520 Speaker 1: important is that to me? How important is it that 160 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:13,160 Speaker 1: I do a job that resonates with me, that I love, 161 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: or at the very least, you know, sometimes it's messy 162 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 1: and painful, but in general terms, it's fulfilling and rewarding. 163 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 1: And I like the culture, and I like the job, 164 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 1: and I like what I do, and I like the 165 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 1: experiences and the people that I work with. And of 166 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 1: course there's going to be a bit of mess and pain, 167 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 1: but it's where I want to be versus I fucking 168 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,960 Speaker 1: dread getting up on a Monday because I've got to 169 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 1: go back to that place that I don't like with 170 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 1: those people that I don't get that don't get me that, 171 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 1: and I'm going to work in that And yet but 172 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 1: what am I going to do? What am I going 173 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: to do? This is just my This is just my life, 174 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:49,000 Speaker 1: and woe is me? And I shrug my shoulders and 175 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 1: five years go by and I'm still in the same joint. 176 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:58,080 Speaker 1: But I actually haven't done anything brave, courageous, amazing to 177 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:03,360 Speaker 1: change the situation. I just tell myself and others how 178 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 1: hard I have it and how unfair life is. Well, 179 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:10,800 Speaker 1: guess what, you know, sometimes we do have it hard, 180 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:15,079 Speaker 1: and sometimes life is unfair, and sometimes life sucks, and 181 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: sometimes you know where Joel Sardi, my friend who's been 182 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,080 Speaker 1: on the show A Bunch, who came home from serving 183 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:24,280 Speaker 1: in the military and leaned against a railing and fell 184 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 1: over the railing and broke his neck and became a quadriplegic, 185 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:32,160 Speaker 1: you know sometimes that sometimes that and we don't want 186 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,840 Speaker 1: to think about that. That's horrible and sad, but it's 187 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,040 Speaker 1: just part of life for some people. And as I've 188 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 1: said a couple of times lately. Joel can't wake up 189 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 1: tomorrow and say, guess what, I'm not doing quadriplegia today. 190 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 1: I'm just going to fucking walk. It's too you know what. 191 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 1: It's too tiring, spending three hours every morning going through 192 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: this whole ritual of getting ready just to be able 193 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,320 Speaker 1: to eat breakfast, getting up at four o'clock for this 194 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 1: whole ritual of going to the toilet and being cleaned 195 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 1: and getting being dressed and working with cares to spend 196 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,880 Speaker 1: three hours to get to the point where he's ready 197 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: for breakfast at seven o'clock. He doesn't have the option 198 00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 1: of not doing that. That is just you and I. 199 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,680 Speaker 1: Hopefully you and I we don't have to deal with 200 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 1: that or anything like that. We get to choose our attitude. 201 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:30,440 Speaker 1: We get to decide what is what things mean to us. 202 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: Because you and I have the ability to be able 203 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:37,080 Speaker 1: to process data uniquely, we get to concentrate and focus 204 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 1: our energy on things that will produce better outcomes. And 205 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:46,439 Speaker 1: I'm not, for one minute today trying to be insensitive 206 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:51,960 Speaker 1: or uncaring because I know many of you have hardship, 207 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 1: many of you have trauma, many of you have had 208 00:12:54,960 --> 00:13:01,439 Speaker 1: and still have adversity, and I acknowledge that, and I 209 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 1: genuinely feel for you. But at the same time, I 210 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,720 Speaker 1: know that you want more, and I know that you 211 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:18,000 Speaker 1: know that it's not going to accidentally get better. And 212 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:21,280 Speaker 1: so while we can acknowledge the unfairness and the adversity 213 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,040 Speaker 1: and the pain, we can acknowledge that we're not pretending 214 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:27,679 Speaker 1: that life is not shit sometimes, or we're not in pain, 215 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,200 Speaker 1: or that we don't have trauma. We're not we're not 216 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 1: unaware of that. We're not ignoring that. We're not pretending 217 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: life's a Disney movie, because we all know it ain't. 218 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: But what we're doing is we're going well despite this 219 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 1: hard stuff, despite the stuff that's not fair. What can 220 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: I do? What is one thing that I can do 221 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 1: today to create a tiny bit of shift in my life? 222 00:13:57,360 --> 00:14:00,880 Speaker 1: How can I make my life more of a conscious 223 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:08,320 Speaker 1: process unless of an unconscious existence where I'm being swept 224 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,960 Speaker 1: along in someone else's story, I'm being driven along in 225 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 1: someone else's bus. I am just a pawn in someone 226 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:22,160 Speaker 1: else's game. And all of these metaphors sound dramatic, but 227 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 1: it's true. It's true, like all of us want better, 228 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,680 Speaker 1: all of us want to grow personally. All of us 229 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 1: want happiness, fulfillment, joy, calm. But the question is how 230 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:45,520 Speaker 1: do we create that? How do you and I consciously, 231 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:55,600 Speaker 1: strategically and courageously design, construct, and inhabit our version of 232 00:14:55,720 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 1: our best life? Whatever that means. Think about how much 233 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 1: time people spend when they buy a block of land 234 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 1: and they build a house on that. How much time 235 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 1: people spend designing, choosing, paying for building this thing that 236 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 1: they want to inhabit. They might plan and replan and 237 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:33,160 Speaker 1: design and decide and redecide and change their minds. It 238 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 1: might be for some people a one, two or three 239 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:39,280 Speaker 1: year process to actually build this thing that they're going 240 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 1: to live in, to get it just right, to build 241 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 1: the house that suits them that they love to be in. Now, 242 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,280 Speaker 1: if I said what is more important your house or 243 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:55,320 Speaker 1: your home or your life? You're going to say to me, well, 244 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:58,160 Speaker 1: of course my life is more important. Then I'm going 245 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:02,480 Speaker 1: to say, how much time are you spending designing your life? 246 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 1: Visualizing what you want, what you need, doing a stock 247 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 1: take on your current operating system, on your current outcomes, 248 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:16,360 Speaker 1: on your current lifestyle, on your current habits and behaviors. 249 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 1: What are you doing? What are you being. What are 250 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:24,920 Speaker 1: you creating is the way that you are currently doing life? Working? 251 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:30,800 Speaker 1: Are you optimizing what you have to work with? Let's 252 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 1: don't worry about or waste energy on what you don't have. 253 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:41,360 Speaker 1: I'm sixty. I can sit here and think about, Oh fuck, 254 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 1: I wish I was thirty. Oh I finally I'd have 255 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,520 Speaker 1: done that when I was twenty. Oh I finally I 256 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 1: had a known what I guess? What's all bullshit, it's 257 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:50,600 Speaker 1: all redundant, doesn't matter because I can't fucking go back 258 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,840 Speaker 1: in time. I don't have a time machine. I can't 259 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 1: change any of it, and it's all a waste of 260 00:16:56,040 --> 00:17:00,280 Speaker 1: my energy. So what matters is today today? As I 261 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,960 Speaker 1: said June tenth, what am I going to do today today? 262 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,280 Speaker 1: What can I do? Craig Hapa, what can I do 263 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 1: today to move the needle? What's an idea that I have? 264 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 1: What's a decision that I can make? What's an action 265 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:16,040 Speaker 1: that I can take? How do I stop wasting energy 266 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:19,480 Speaker 1: on bullshit that is out of my control? And how 267 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:23,040 Speaker 1: do I start focusing on and investing energy on the 268 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:26,800 Speaker 1: things that will give me the best return on that investment. 269 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 1: What am I going to do? What is in my control. 270 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,560 Speaker 1: I want to share with you some questions that and 271 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:45,239 Speaker 1: again I say this all the time, but and I 272 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,600 Speaker 1: said this to the group yesterday after I'd banged on 273 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 1: for Nelly six hours. Personal development doesn't matter whose mouth 274 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:57,080 Speaker 1: it's coming from, or whose words they are, or what 275 00:17:57,119 --> 00:18:00,960 Speaker 1: book it's written in, or what program it's in. But 276 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 1: all of these things that I share, and I might 277 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,919 Speaker 1: share some things that don't resonate with you, that are 278 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,679 Speaker 1: bullshit to you, And I understand and feel free move on, 279 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,959 Speaker 1: hit the pause button, go and listen to Tony Robbins 280 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,320 Speaker 1: or whoever, or come back tomorrow or whatever it is. 281 00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:17,800 Speaker 1: But if I am saying something now that is resonating, 282 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 1: the value of you listening to this is not in 283 00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:23,439 Speaker 1: the listening. That's part of it, I guess, But the 284 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,920 Speaker 1: real value is in the doing following the listening. If 285 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 1: I say something that provokes you or resonates with you, 286 00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:32,960 Speaker 1: or is meaningful for you, or maybe even makes you 287 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 1: a bit emotional, that's not the worst thing in the world. 288 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:42,560 Speaker 1: I hope that my words. I hope that my books. 289 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,560 Speaker 1: I hope that my podcasts. I hope that my seminars 290 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:51,159 Speaker 1: and workshops. I hope that for some people, that moment 291 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,919 Speaker 1: in time, that encounter that intersection with me and my 292 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,359 Speaker 1: thoughts and ideas will be a starting point for someone. 293 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,879 Speaker 1: I know that I am not the answer. I know 294 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:04,280 Speaker 1: that my words are not the answer, but maybe they're 295 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,960 Speaker 1: the start because I also know that the only person 296 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:10,040 Speaker 1: that can genuinely design your life, create your life, and 297 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:13,199 Speaker 1: inhabit your optimal life is you. I can't do it 298 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:16,440 Speaker 1: for you. You can't do it for me. The only 299 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,399 Speaker 1: person in the world that I can change is me. 300 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 1: The only life that I can renovate is my own. 301 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:28,040 Speaker 1: The only existence I can inhabit is my own existence. 302 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 1: I can encourage, support, cheer, educate, inspire, pray. I can 303 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,800 Speaker 1: do all of that for you. But I can't make 304 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,480 Speaker 1: a decision for you. I can't take action for you. 305 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,639 Speaker 1: I can't be brave or courageous for you. I can't 306 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,320 Speaker 1: have self awareness for you. I can't own up, step up, 307 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,440 Speaker 1: and look up for you. I can't execute for you. 308 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:53,360 Speaker 1: I can't be resilient. I can't do anything for you 309 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,560 Speaker 1: other than be here for you to encourage, support, and inspire. 310 00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:00,840 Speaker 1: All of those things the resilience, the work that the energy, 311 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:05,520 Speaker 1: the courage, the willingness to do something today. When you 312 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,439 Speaker 1: hear these words, despite the fact that you didn't fucking 313 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,560 Speaker 1: plan to do it today, and despite the fact that 314 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 1: it's not convenient. Do you know what happens when you 315 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 1: do something that's hard and uncomfortable and inconvenient, You change 316 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:23,920 Speaker 1: a little bit. You change a little bit because you're 317 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:29,080 Speaker 1: working against that weakness. You're working against that internal emotional 318 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:34,119 Speaker 1: and psychological resistance. You're working against that fear, that laziness, 319 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,879 Speaker 1: that procrastination, all of those fucking things that keep you 320 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 1: trapped in mediocrity, when you go, fuck it, I don't 321 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 1: want to do this, I don't feel like this, but 322 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 1: I need to, so I'm going to. When you stop 323 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:53,080 Speaker 1: looking for comfort, when you stop looking for accolades, when 324 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 1: you stop looking for a round of applause, when you 325 00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 1: stop looking for someone to validate you or tell you 326 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:02,199 Speaker 1: you're awesome or give you a fucking pat on the 327 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,920 Speaker 1: back for eating a chicken salad. When you stop doing that, 328 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:08,400 Speaker 1: then you start to step into your power and out 329 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:18,240 Speaker 1: of their power. Because the project is you. You are the project. 330 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:22,440 Speaker 1: You are the problem, you are the solution. And yes 331 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:26,199 Speaker 1: there will be external problems. We're not saying you're the 332 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,720 Speaker 1: overarching problem of all. But in terms of you growing, 333 00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:33,800 Speaker 1: nobody's stopping you from making a decision, even somebody like 334 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 1: Joel who's in a wheelchair that I spoke about before. 335 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,800 Speaker 1: Joel's still learning and growing and evolving. Joel's a dad now, 336 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,080 Speaker 1: he wasn't when he broke his neck. He's a dad 337 00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 1: of too, He's a husband. He's becoming a great speaker, 338 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:53,199 Speaker 1: he's becoming his condition. His body doesn't define him. His 339 00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:57,560 Speaker 1: body affects his life, but it doesn't determine his life. 340 00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:02,200 Speaker 1: His level of function is a very It is a 341 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:06,719 Speaker 1: factor that needs to be navigated and negotiated. But it 342 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,720 Speaker 1: isn't a death sentence, that's for sure, And it isn't 343 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:15,440 Speaker 1: all determining in his story because his story is yet 344 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,680 Speaker 1: to be written. The rest of his chapters are yet 345 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,920 Speaker 1: to be written. And he can get up every day 346 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,400 Speaker 1: and feel sorry for himself, which by the way, would 347 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:29,159 Speaker 1: be understandable, wouldn't it. And he can do that, and 348 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 1: he did that for a minute, and he said that, 349 00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:34,359 Speaker 1: But after you do that for a while, and after 350 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,960 Speaker 1: you immerse yourself in all of that stuff, which again 351 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,760 Speaker 1: I say is understandable, But then what you still wake 352 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:44,600 Speaker 1: up one day and you're still in a wheelchair? So 353 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:50,160 Speaker 1: is that hard? Is that unfair? Incredibly fucking hard? Incredibly unfair? 354 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 1: Does life suck? Life sucks? His life? Beautiful? Life is beautiful, 355 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:59,600 Speaker 1: Life is all of it and none of it. Life 356 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,480 Speaker 1: is met and mayhem, enjoy and euphoria. And in the 357 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,199 Speaker 1: middle of all of that shit is you. Is me 358 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:10,159 Speaker 1: trying to figure out what is success for you? So 359 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,720 Speaker 1: what is success for you? Like when you think about 360 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,800 Speaker 1: your best life? What does that mean? And if you 361 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,680 Speaker 1: can't figure that out right now or you can't give 362 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:23,879 Speaker 1: me an answer, that's okay. But I know that you 363 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,360 Speaker 1: don't want to be a failure, So therefore I automatically 364 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,879 Speaker 1: know do you want to be a success? Great? What 365 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,680 Speaker 1: is that? And let me tell you, if you can't 366 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 1: define it, it's very fucking hard to create the thing 367 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:37,440 Speaker 1: you can't identify or define? What does success mean for you? 368 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 1: And then you go, but well it's so big, I 369 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:44,399 Speaker 1: get it. So what about success in your career? What 370 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:48,640 Speaker 1: does that look like? What about success within the context 371 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:52,159 Speaker 1: of your relationships? What does success mean? And it doesn't 372 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:56,320 Speaker 1: need to be mind blowing. It might success in your 373 00:23:56,400 --> 00:24:00,199 Speaker 1: marriage or your relationship or your relationship with kids, mum 374 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,240 Speaker 1: and dad, or simply whatever. It might just be that 375 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,720 Speaker 1: you get on great. It might just be that you 376 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,680 Speaker 1: spend quality time together. It might just mean that you 377 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:14,520 Speaker 1: give love and get love, and that success amazing. Success 378 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:18,000 Speaker 1: for you might be earning enough money to tick all 379 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,679 Speaker 1: the boxes you need to live practically, and maybe an 380 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:22,800 Speaker 1: extra ten or twenty grand a year so you're not 381 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:26,679 Speaker 1: going backwards, and that's that. Maybe success for you is 382 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:30,400 Speaker 1: building a billion dollar organization. Again, there's no right or wrong, 383 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:34,760 Speaker 1: but there's right or wrong for you. What is success 384 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:38,280 Speaker 1: for you in terms of that internal world. We're so 385 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 1: externally focused when we think about the internal world, which 386 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:46,960 Speaker 1: is the place where living happens. The external world is 387 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:51,240 Speaker 1: the place where life happens. But the living, the feeling, 388 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:55,159 Speaker 1: the emotion, the joy of the pain, the pleasure, the hope, 389 00:24:55,640 --> 00:25:00,440 Speaker 1: the devastation, the idea, is the creativity, all of that 390 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:04,840 Speaker 1: internal juice, that's where it happens. What is success for 391 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:09,080 Speaker 1: you in that space? Maybe success for you in your 392 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:13,200 Speaker 1: internal world is calm. Maybe it's joy. Maybe it's happiness. 393 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:18,560 Speaker 1: Maybe it's creativity. Maybe it's excitement, maybe it's fun. Maybe 394 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,760 Speaker 1: it's a bit of all of that. Maybe it's something different, 395 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 1: Maybe it's satisfaction, maybe it's contentment. But you're not going 396 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:33,960 Speaker 1: to accidentally end up there. Maybe some people do. I 397 00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:37,600 Speaker 1: don't know if I've met someone. I'm sure somebody. I'm 398 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,639 Speaker 1: sure one or two. But let's just not rely on that. 399 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 1: Let's think about what that might look like for us, 400 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 1: and what we might need to do to create that, 401 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,040 Speaker 1: what we might need to hold on to and let 402 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:52,760 Speaker 1: go of. What are the things that really matter to 403 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,760 Speaker 1: you broadly in your life? What are your values? What 404 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:59,520 Speaker 1: are those things that if we were going to build 405 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:05,000 Speaker 1: set of behaviors and habits and an operating system for 406 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:09,240 Speaker 1: this designer life that you want to inhabit, what are 407 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,680 Speaker 1: the things that we might base that on. What are 408 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,280 Speaker 1: the things that you value? What are your ethics? What 409 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:17,439 Speaker 1: are your morals? What are your goals? Who do you 410 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 1: want to be? How do you want to be? How 411 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 1: do you want to be for yourself? How do you 412 00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:24,399 Speaker 1: want to be for others? What do you need to 413 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,040 Speaker 1: do more of? What do you need to do less of? 414 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 1: What do you need to acknowledge that isn't working? Again? 415 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:38,800 Speaker 1: Not self loathing, self awareness. It's very hard to design 416 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:42,199 Speaker 1: our life to create a structure and a process and 417 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:46,440 Speaker 1: a plan and a timeline and accountability to tap into resource. 418 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:50,600 Speaker 1: It's very hard to create this operating system if we 419 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,680 Speaker 1: don't know where the fuck we want to go or 420 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:59,880 Speaker 1: why the fuck we want to go there. What happens when, 421 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,960 Speaker 1: in the context of this design of life, Now we've 422 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,760 Speaker 1: got our plan, we've got our structure, we've got our process, 423 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:10,280 Speaker 1: we've got our KPIs, we've got our timeline. What happens 424 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,080 Speaker 1: we wake up tomorrow and we don't have any motivation? 425 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,680 Speaker 1: What do you do then? What's your post motivation plan? 426 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:24,320 Speaker 1: What happens when people discourage you, when people criticize you, 427 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 1: when people are unfair, when people shit on you, that's 428 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:32,400 Speaker 1: going to happen. You need to rely on you. That 429 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:37,040 Speaker 1: doesn't mean that you're going to be, you know, Robinson 430 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,679 Speaker 1: Crusoe in an ocean of humanity on your own little island. 431 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:47,240 Speaker 1: But we don't want to be dependent on other people 432 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:53,080 Speaker 1: to keep us emotionally and psychologically buoyant. It's great when 433 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,080 Speaker 1: we've got support, it's great when people are cheering us 434 00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:59,440 Speaker 1: on and loving us. But if you can only keep 435 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:01,720 Speaker 1: doing the thing things that you need to do to 436 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:05,480 Speaker 1: live your best life in the presence of a fan 437 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:09,400 Speaker 1: club or a round of applause or a standing ovation, 438 00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,399 Speaker 1: or a trophy or a pat on the back or 439 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:20,240 Speaker 1: some kind of accolade. Then you're in trouble. I've spoken 440 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 1: about the e Myth before, which is a book written 441 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:28,919 Speaker 1: by Gerber Gub and he talks about this idea of 442 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,879 Speaker 1: working on the business and the difficulty that comes in 443 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,080 Speaker 1: working on the business having that kind of macro view 444 00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:39,920 Speaker 1: of the business. When you are immersed in the micro 445 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,360 Speaker 1: the day, the day, the day to day, the minute 446 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,160 Speaker 1: to minute, the business of being in it, it's very 447 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:48,360 Speaker 1: hard to be objective about the thing that you're in 448 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:55,080 Speaker 1: the middle of. And you know, for me, it's always 449 00:28:55,120 --> 00:29:02,760 Speaker 1: been important that I found a way to metaphorically and 450 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:10,840 Speaker 1: sometimes geographically get away from my day to day, get 451 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:18,600 Speaker 1: away from the momentum and the continuity of my typical 452 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:23,720 Speaker 1: you know, situation or environment or job or even relationship 453 00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 1: or circumstance or lifestyle or whatever it was. And there 454 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,960 Speaker 1: have been many times in my life where I knew 455 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:33,920 Speaker 1: that something wasn't working optimally. It was kind of okay, 456 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,200 Speaker 1: but it definitely wasn't optimal. It wasn't giving me a 457 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:40,640 Speaker 1: lot of joy, But in the moment, in the situation, 458 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:44,360 Speaker 1: immersed in the middle of it, it's hard. It's hard 459 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:49,680 Speaker 1: to see the things that you can see when you're 460 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:51,840 Speaker 1: away from it. It's hard when you're in the middle 461 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:54,640 Speaker 1: of it. Just like when you're in the house, it's 462 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,440 Speaker 1: hard to see the house because you're in a room. 463 00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:58,560 Speaker 1: But when you're on the other side of the street, 464 00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:00,800 Speaker 1: when you're away from that house, when you've got a 465 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,760 Speaker 1: different perspective, you have a level of objectivity and understanding 466 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:07,320 Speaker 1: of what is in front of you, because now you 467 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,080 Speaker 1: can oh, you go, oh my god, the house is 468 00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:12,000 Speaker 1: on fire. I can see it from out here. But 469 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,240 Speaker 1: when I was sitting in the crapper reading the newspaper 470 00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:17,840 Speaker 1: and the spare room is on fire. This is a 471 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 1: terrible metaphor I acknowledge, or a terrible analogy, but we 472 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,080 Speaker 1: have to sometimes get away. For me, I've spent many 473 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:29,080 Speaker 1: times in my life hitting the pause button on something, 474 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:35,720 Speaker 1: stopping something, and I've spoken probably ten times over the 475 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:39,280 Speaker 1: course of fifteen hundred episodes about hitting the pause button 476 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,760 Speaker 1: on my life for ten days and going to Queensland 477 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:46,160 Speaker 1: by myself when I was very, very very busy under 478 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:49,760 Speaker 1: a lot of pressure, owning multiple businesses with one hundred 479 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 1: plus staff and doing a lot of things, and on 480 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 1: the outside looking very successful and very accomplished and very 481 00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:02,200 Speaker 1: competent and ticking lots of box And if you were 482 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:07,440 Speaker 1: a fly on the wall or an observer perhaps looking 483 00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:10,040 Speaker 1: from the outside in, you would think Craig's going great, 484 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:14,240 Speaker 1: he's killing at his succeeding. And while those things were 485 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,920 Speaker 1: objectively true, depending on how we evaluate success, if it 486 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:21,880 Speaker 1: was about commercial and financial success and brand and business, 487 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:26,680 Speaker 1: well yes one. But that's all the external stuff. But 488 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,240 Speaker 1: the internal stuff for me was a nightmare. The internal 489 00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,840 Speaker 1: stuff was chaos and stress and anxiety and overthinking and 490 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,720 Speaker 1: overreacting and poor sleep and poor mental and emotional health 491 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:41,520 Speaker 1: and all of these things. And so these two states 492 00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:46,960 Speaker 1: of external success and internal chaos can coexist. Not only 493 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:53,760 Speaker 1: can they, they do often. I don't do heaps of 494 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:57,560 Speaker 1: one on one work anymore. I still do a little bit, 495 00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:06,320 Speaker 1: but in my experience, the people that I've worked with 496 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:10,280 Speaker 1: that would be considered in our culture or our society 497 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:17,560 Speaker 1: to be towards the successful slash extremely successful end of 498 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 1: the scale in general terms, more anxious, more of an overthinker, 499 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:29,080 Speaker 1: worse sleep, more likely to be medicated for depression and 500 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:36,160 Speaker 1: or anxiety and or sleeplessness. And often despite the success 501 00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:40,160 Speaker 1: in inverted commas that was happening in their life, in 502 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:46,400 Speaker 1: that internal world, they were often emotionally, mentally spiritually bankrupt 503 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:54,000 Speaker 1: outside looking in amazing, inside out state shit ouse. That's 504 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:57,880 Speaker 1: not to say one causes the other, but that is 505 00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:01,200 Speaker 1: to say that there is not necessarily a positive correlation 506 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:07,080 Speaker 1: between external success the situation, the appearance, and internal cess 507 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:13,280 Speaker 1: success the feeling or the state or the experience. And 508 00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,680 Speaker 1: when I got away from my life for ten days, 509 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:19,080 Speaker 1: I realized I had a level of perspective, awareness, understanding, 510 00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:22,560 Speaker 1: and insight that I couldn't get in the business in 511 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:27,040 Speaker 1: the mayhem, in the flow, in the momentum of my 512 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,040 Speaker 1: from when I got out of bed to when I 513 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:32,240 Speaker 1: went to bed. It's like all my minutes were taken 514 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,960 Speaker 1: with stuff. But when I got away from that, I 515 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,520 Speaker 1: didn't do any work. I didn't have any phone calls, 516 00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:44,360 Speaker 1: I didn't use a computer. I didn't have any conversations 517 00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:49,560 Speaker 1: for ten days with anyone from my life, friends, family, work. 518 00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:55,479 Speaker 1: I completely got away to think about am I living 519 00:33:55,600 --> 00:34:00,680 Speaker 1: the life that works for me? Do I does my 520 00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,720 Speaker 1: life reflect who I am and how I want to be. 521 00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:08,360 Speaker 1: Is it working? And do you know what, It's not 522 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:12,000 Speaker 1: that I was doing anything bad or wrong, but it 523 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:15,400 Speaker 1: just didn't work for me. And I said this to 524 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:21,200 Speaker 1: someone yesterday. I said this to someone yesterday, and that 525 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,239 Speaker 1: is that I ca In life, things have a used 526 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,680 Speaker 1: by date. And when we think of a use by date, 527 00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:29,640 Speaker 1: we think of bread and milk and stuff in boxes 528 00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 1: and cans. But also sometimes careers have a use by date. 529 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:38,120 Speaker 1: Sometimes relationships have a use by date. Sometimes habits and 530 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:43,160 Speaker 1: behaviors work and then they don't work. They expire. And 531 00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,720 Speaker 1: for me, there was a long time where working in gyms, 532 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:49,320 Speaker 1: training people, being on the gym floor building business building brand, 533 00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,440 Speaker 1: you know, training trainers in that space where it was 534 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:55,680 Speaker 1: all about the body and health and fitness. For the 535 00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:59,920 Speaker 1: most part, it was great and then eventually it wasn't. 536 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,920 Speaker 1: And it wasn't because it became bad. It was because 537 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:06,520 Speaker 1: I evolved. And then when I evolved or I changed, 538 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:10,600 Speaker 1: or my focus shifted, then my life had to change. 539 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,000 Speaker 1: How I lived and how I worked, and what I 540 00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,920 Speaker 1: paid attention to and what I learned and how I 541 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,640 Speaker 1: executed the things I wanted to do In my job 542 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:23,160 Speaker 1: and beyond. But sometimes in order to get that level 543 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,800 Speaker 1: of awareness and insight and perspective, one we've got to 544 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:30,400 Speaker 1: get away, either literally or metaphorically. And then two we 545 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:32,560 Speaker 1: need to be brave. We need to be brave because 546 00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,680 Speaker 1: it means that quite often we need to go backwards 547 00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:40,799 Speaker 1: to go forwards. It means that we might have to 548 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,600 Speaker 1: make decisions and do things that in the short to 549 00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:48,719 Speaker 1: medium term might not suit us, or might not be comfortable, 550 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:54,040 Speaker 1: or might even alienate us from people that we care about. 551 00:35:55,719 --> 00:36:00,480 Speaker 1: But we can't make personal decisions perpetually, periodically, of course, 552 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:03,480 Speaker 1: where we put ourselves second because we love someone and 553 00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:05,640 Speaker 1: they are the priority, and part of our life is 554 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:11,080 Speaker 1: to serve and love and be somewhat selfless, but not 555 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:15,040 Speaker 1: perpetually where we are just a doormat, an emotional doormat, 556 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 1: and like I said, a character in someone else's story. 557 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:24,359 Speaker 1: I don't think that's anyone's purpose. It's nice to be nice, 558 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:28,680 Speaker 1: it's not nice to be used. And so you know, 559 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:33,200 Speaker 1: sometimes that means making a decision, that means changing a behavior, 560 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,600 Speaker 1: something that will make you better and your life better 561 00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:41,480 Speaker 1: and your results better and your internal state better, that 562 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:45,040 Speaker 1: might piss someone else off because they don't want you changing. 563 00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:47,799 Speaker 1: They want you to go out three nights a week 564 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,040 Speaker 1: drinking booze with them. It doesn't suit them for you 565 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,640 Speaker 1: to be different. It doesn't suit them for you to 566 00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:57,879 Speaker 1: go on a fucking health kick. It doesn't suit them. Right, 567 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,400 Speaker 1: That's okay. It's not your job to keep everyone in 568 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:07,160 Speaker 1: the world happy, just like it's not mine. Your life 569 00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:13,279 Speaker 1: is always giving you results and data and information. Right now, 570 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:17,000 Speaker 1: I'm sitting in my office at home. It's on the 571 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:20,080 Speaker 1: first floor. I've got all of these amazing windows that 572 00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:23,480 Speaker 1: look out onto all these beautiful trees that I have 573 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:29,279 Speaker 1: in my yard. Downstairs, I have a recording studio. And 574 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,200 Speaker 1: I'm not saying any of this to sound great. I'm 575 00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:35,799 Speaker 1: saying this because for me, I realized that if I'm 576 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,880 Speaker 1: going to work a lot, I want to work in 577 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:42,279 Speaker 1: an environment that I like. I wanted to create a 578 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:48,240 Speaker 1: workspace and energy that for me is conducive to calm 579 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:53,400 Speaker 1: and creativity and concentration and efficiency and productivity. And I 580 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:57,440 Speaker 1: did that. So when I go to work in inverted Commas, 581 00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:02,719 Speaker 1: I'm in a place I want to be environment that's nice. 582 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:06,560 Speaker 1: I'm in an energy space that really works for me. 583 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:12,360 Speaker 1: But I didn't accidentally end up with this. I chose this. 584 00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:18,200 Speaker 1: I built this, I created this. I realized, as most 585 00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:20,040 Speaker 1: of you know, when I was young, that I didn't 586 00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,520 Speaker 1: want a typical job. I wanted to work, I just 587 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:26,960 Speaker 1: didn't want a typical job. If I had have followed 588 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:30,520 Speaker 1: the paradigm, if I have followed the status quo, if 589 00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:33,600 Speaker 1: I had have stayed on the proverbial conveyor belt or 590 00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:36,680 Speaker 1: in the proverbial river, I would have just gone with 591 00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:38,719 Speaker 1: the flow and got a job and clocked in at 592 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:42,279 Speaker 1: nine and clocked out at five or the equivalent. And 593 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,040 Speaker 1: while that is not a bad thing for many people, 594 00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:47,000 Speaker 1: that is a great thing. For me, that is not 595 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:50,319 Speaker 1: a great thing. And I knew that. And in order 596 00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:52,840 Speaker 1: for me to design my life, in order for me 597 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,919 Speaker 1: to build a life and inhabit a life that reflected 598 00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,719 Speaker 1: how and who I wanted to be and my values, 599 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,719 Speaker 1: I need to I needed to figure out how do 600 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:06,239 Speaker 1: I do life without having a job, How do I 601 00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:09,480 Speaker 1: support myself, how do I create income? How do I 602 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,360 Speaker 1: build a business? How do I build a brand? And 603 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,320 Speaker 1: how do I build something that intersects with my passion 604 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,480 Speaker 1: and the things I'm curious about and the things that 605 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,040 Speaker 1: I want to do anyway, I don't want to do 606 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,600 Speaker 1: them because they make money. I just want to do them. 607 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,400 Speaker 1: And also, by the way it makes money, that is great. 608 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:30,960 Speaker 1: So many times I sit and I'll talk to somebody 609 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:32,839 Speaker 1: that I meet, and we might talk for an hour, 610 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,200 Speaker 1: and I end up where I'm talking about the stuff 611 00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:40,400 Speaker 1: that I'm talking about now, because that's just where the 612 00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:45,040 Speaker 1: conversation goes, and I'm essentially giving someone a coaching session 613 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:49,400 Speaker 1: that I'm not being paid for, and I'm doing it 614 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:55,160 Speaker 1: joyfully because I love talking about human performance and happiness 615 00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:58,880 Speaker 1: and the human condition. I love that this is not 616 00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:02,439 Speaker 1: hard for me. This is not which is not say 617 00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:04,400 Speaker 1: I'm perfect at it. I'm definitely not not say I 618 00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:09,120 Speaker 1: don't fuck up or get things wrong, but this is not. 619 00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:13,800 Speaker 1: This is I don't sit here and think, oh god, 620 00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:16,439 Speaker 1: I've got to do a podcast, Oh God, I've got 621 00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:19,680 Speaker 1: to try and come up with something, and you know, shit, 622 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:22,359 Speaker 1: how quickly can I get this done? And I don't. 623 00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:24,880 Speaker 1: I don't think like that. The only thing that I 624 00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:29,680 Speaker 1: think is, well, not the only thing, but I guess 625 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,439 Speaker 1: my focus is can I do a good job, Can 626 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:36,200 Speaker 1: I talk about something that's relevant and meaningful? Can I 627 00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:38,680 Speaker 1: share with them something that might be of value to them, 628 00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:40,759 Speaker 1: that might be a catalyst for them, that might be 629 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:50,319 Speaker 1: perhaps a starting point for them. So how do I 630 00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:54,200 Speaker 1: want to finish this? So we all inhabit a life. 631 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,720 Speaker 1: We're all we're all going through life. We're all making 632 00:40:56,760 --> 00:41:00,879 Speaker 1: decisions or not making decisions in some instances. We've all 633 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,640 Speaker 1: got potential. We've all got certain genetics. We've all got 634 00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:06,200 Speaker 1: twenty four hours in a day. We're all we have 635 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:11,000 Speaker 1: certain personality and certain goals and dreams and visions and aspirations. 636 00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:16,040 Speaker 1: We've all got a certain amount or type of resources. 637 00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:19,400 Speaker 1: I think most of you listening to this. I could 638 00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:21,160 Speaker 1: be wrong, but I would think that most of you 639 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,720 Speaker 1: want to do better, think better, create better, produce better 640 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:27,239 Speaker 1: on some level, not with your whole life, but part 641 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,400 Speaker 1: of your life. Perhaps what does that look like for you? 642 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,280 Speaker 1: Some of you have heard me over a thousand times. 643 00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:37,960 Speaker 1: And I don't say this because I want to be 644 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,239 Speaker 1: brutal or I want to I say this because I 645 00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,520 Speaker 1: care about you. And sometimes some of you have heard 646 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:44,640 Speaker 1: me for a thousand times and had a thousand light 647 00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:50,000 Speaker 1: bulbs and done not much. And if you have done it, 648 00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:54,000 Speaker 1: if you have done much. If you have created, then congratulations, 649 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,600 Speaker 1: I'm proud of you. But if you're the one day 650 00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,959 Speaker 1: soon person, or that it's not the right time person, 651 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:03,160 Speaker 1: nor it's the this is too inconvenient right now, or 652 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:07,520 Speaker 1: you don't understand my life, maybe that is true, But 653 00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:10,160 Speaker 1: if that has been the story for the last hundred days, 654 00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:12,760 Speaker 1: the last two hundred days, the last five years, ten years, 655 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,600 Speaker 1: maybe it's not true. Or maybe it is true. But 656 00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:19,040 Speaker 1: still in the middle of the inconvenience, in the middle 657 00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:23,280 Speaker 1: of the discomfort, in the middle of the uncertainty, maybe 658 00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:28,919 Speaker 1: you still need to do something. Don't hate me, love 659 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,440 Speaker 1: your guts, See you tomorrow.