Speaker 1: Ad A Lady ad A Lady ad A Lady ad
Speaker 1: Lady Unfiltered.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, I am Hailey. This is Lauren. We are
Speaker 2: ad Lady Unfiltered.
Speaker 3: We are besties with business partners and we're the creators
Speaker 3: of Adel Lady Hollow. I say, hey, Lossy Media, and
Speaker 3: we do everything together except bag.
Speaker 1: Welcome to my couch again for another week.
Speaker 2: Babe. This is nice. Look at you wearing your clown suit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm wearing this suit.
Speaker 4: I bought this suit and Burgeon, my partner, actually said,
Speaker 4: is that a dress up suit?
Speaker 3: No? It looks like you're in the Christmas paget, but
Speaker 3: it's also freaking sick.
Speaker 1: Guys, I love it really.
Speaker 4: One that blue leg, one red leg and one red
Speaker 4: sleeve and one blue slip.
Speaker 2: You're a clown in the Christmas podcast.
Speaker 4: I'd actually love being in the Christmas padget again this year.
Speaker 4: If anyone's watching.
Speaker 1: You could wear that my outfit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's actually really notice.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad. I spent six hundred dollars on it.
Speaker 2: That's six hundred dollars. I think, my god, you haven't
Speaker 2: even worn it anywhere because.
Speaker 3: I got scared of wearing don't let anyone, especially a
Speaker 3: go I tell you that if something's not because we
Speaker 3: are cool.
Speaker 2: Hashtag tickets.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, so today shopping list.
Speaker 2: What's on the show.
Speaker 4: So today we're gonna be talking about parenting. You have
Speaker 4: two boys, I have a little girl, very different ages, but.
Speaker 3: I'm going to put my little two bobs in and
Speaker 3: say that fourteen is the hardest.
Speaker 1: Age, and I think four is the hardest aage. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll see you later on that one.
Speaker 2: We're also going to.
Speaker 3: Talk about oversharing, which is something that we've always done.
Speaker 2: But I've got some tips if you're like us, of.
Speaker 3: How to stop yourself before you like tell your entire
Speaker 3: life story to someone that you've just met.
Speaker 1: That's literally what I do.
Speaker 2: That's what we do every day.
Speaker 1: And then I regret and hate myself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so the tips are really just for us.
Speaker 3: We'll be there, but right now we're going to start
Speaker 3: with a little member of the week.
Speaker 1: What happened to us?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: You go for okay, I'll go.
Speaker 3: So this is quite gross, but you know how we
Speaker 3: use baby wipes all the time, as I think you
Speaker 3: know you use baby wipes, whether you're a mum or
Speaker 3: you're not a mum, there's always baby wipes in your
Speaker 3: back and I hate that I only discovered baby wipes
Speaker 3: when I had a baby.
Speaker 2: What did we do before? How gross?
Speaker 4: Sour?
Speaker 1: What was in our handbag.
Speaker 3: It's like a mini shower, so you can just like
Speaker 3: wipe under your pits, you can wipe your face, wipe
Speaker 3: down there if you want, just and suddenly you feel
Speaker 3: like fresh again in a big city.
Speaker 4: Like I used to keep undies in my glove box
Speaker 4: just in case you like shave hands.
Speaker 2: I just need to keep hoggies. We laugh, We love.
Speaker 3: It's chances that happening now are a lot more. Let
Speaker 3: me tell you so, baby wipes beat in my bag.
Speaker 3: And then a few weeks ago, we got back from
Speaker 3: Cambodia together. We were over there together and we had we.
Speaker 2: Had the spots.
Speaker 1: It's terrible.
Speaker 2: You were really bad at this point.
Speaker 3: I just had the cramps at this point, and we
Speaker 3: were at a little servo and I was like, I'm
Speaker 3: just going to get some baby wipes, these Cambodian baby wipes,
Speaker 3: whatever they are. So they did the trick. They made
Speaker 3: us feel very fresh, and I got home and I've
Speaker 3: been still using them for the last couple of weeks,
Speaker 3: and then I was realizing that, like every time I
Speaker 3: would use it, it was a little that's stingy, scratchy scratchy,
Speaker 3: like there was more friction on them, so it was
Speaker 3: scratchy and stingy.
Speaker 2: And then I was like, well, I may as well.
Speaker 4: Just look at the directions because as well, I've just
Speaker 4: used some seventy four times.
Speaker 3: I have no attention to detail whatsoever. And I looked
Speaker 3: at the packe at it, and you're the same with me.
Speaker 3: The packet said multi surface wipes, Fear Kitchen.
Speaker 1: So you've been and your laundry, you've been, Pina cleaning
Speaker 1: your bits.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have got the cleanest ninety nine percent germ free.
Speaker 2: Bacteria free flaps. Is that the sound?
Speaker 3: I was using that in all areas of my body
Speaker 3: like you would to clean it often.
Speaker 1: But didn't it say on the front.
Speaker 2: But I don't read stuff.
Speaker 3: I just thought they looked like baby wipes, and it
Speaker 3: was in the baby wipe section.
Speaker 1: So it's their fault.
Speaker 3: It's their fault, bloody Cambodia. Anyway, Well that was what
Speaker 3: happened to you.
Speaker 4: So I'm in full nesting Eraea six months preggy, six
Speaker 4: months preggy.
Speaker 1: I have just I got a skip over the.
Speaker 4: Weekend and I just like something in me snapped, like
Speaker 4: it was primal. I was like, everything is not safe
Speaker 4: in my house, even my partner and there, yeah, I
Speaker 4: just you know, and I started with all the you know,
Speaker 4: the older boxes that I've had and the normal stuff,
Speaker 4: and then I just started going rogue.
Speaker 2: Like you shouldn't be lifting things though I was lifting
Speaker 2: shit left right. You were a weightlifter, lifter back in
Speaker 2: the day.
Speaker 1: I was baby, and.
Speaker 2: I didn't boys.
Speaker 4: I started putting everything at that skip and then I've
Speaker 4: got a bunch of stuff to take to a charity,
Speaker 4: toys and different things, to which Berger went out there
Speaker 4: one day, It's like, you can't throw that out.
Speaker 1: That was my childhood teddy beit. And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: no one can.
Speaker 3: Hang on you. I get like getting rid of shit,
Speaker 3: but you can't throw out his childhood teddy bear.
Speaker 2: What is he gonna do with it?
Speaker 1: Sleep with this?
Speaker 2: This is child with Teddybears.
Speaker 4: So anyway, so I had to bring that back inside.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, he is an absolute horder. I threw
Speaker 4: out a bunch of paperwork and he goes, this is
Speaker 4: a ticket to America. It's got Sofia's name on it.
Speaker 4: Why would you throw that out?
Speaker 2: He's got too much estrogen. He was keeping stuff.
Speaker 1: But then my mum and my auntie came over last night.
Speaker 2: And what did Auntie say?
Speaker 4: Oh, well, they looked at the stuff and they were mortified.
Speaker 4: I'd thrown out all these toys that they'd bought Sofia
Speaker 4: as a baby, and they were expensive toys, and Lauren,
Speaker 4: you have no heart. And then suddenly they go, well, Lauren,
Speaker 4: you're out of the wheel because we can't trust you
Speaker 4: because you're going to be throwing everything out.
Speaker 3: But so you've done it all wrong though, So when
Speaker 3: you throw things out, I totally understand, but you've got
Speaker 3: to hide it. So you put it in another plastic
Speaker 3: bag and you hide it. That's what I did a
Speaker 3: couple of weeks ago, underneath all the other stuff, and
Speaker 3: then they can't check and they don't even know what's there.
Speaker 1: I was breaking stuff. So then when Burjo question, I
Speaker 1: said it's broken. I was ruthless, like, I don't care.
Speaker 1: It was Sofia's first shoe.
Speaker 3: Isn't it weird that we're like, we love We're not superficial,
Speaker 3: but we love superficial things.
Speaker 2: We love buying things, and then we love it for
Speaker 2: love shop.
Speaker 4: I love shopping. I love like the purpose of the shopping,
Speaker 4: the purchase.
Speaker 3: But then the dopamine leaves our body and we don't
Speaker 3: care about that thing anymore. Like you have a very
Speaker 3: expensive y cell bag and a Gucci but you just
Speaker 3: you'll leave them on the toilet floor in a public toilet.
Speaker 4: I put on the gravel in a car park. Words,
Speaker 4: because it was my baby bag. My mum was mortar.
Speaker 3: I do that too because I don't care. But isn't
Speaker 3: that doesn't that make us good people? Because it shows
Speaker 3: that we care about humans, not fake things like you
Speaker 3: know things.
Speaker 1: We're still terrible people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, Okay, what are we gonna start with.
Speaker 3: We're gonna start with parenting. Okay, do you want to
Speaker 3: start because you've got four year old?
Speaker 4: I've got a beautiful four years old and you've got
Speaker 4: a fourteen year old boy. And I always piet Alfy's age.
Speaker 4: He's ten eleven, he's eleven.
Speaker 2: You're not a good godmother.
Speaker 1: No, I'm so.
Speaker 4: I should know that because we started at a lady
Speaker 4: when he was eight weeks old. Yeah, but in media
Speaker 4: years he should be like one hundred and seven right now,
Speaker 4: and it's not.
Speaker 2: He's only eleven.
Speaker 1: So I've got a four year old girl who it's.
Speaker 4: Funny because the sass in her and the eye rolls
Speaker 4: and the slamming of the doors and I want other
Speaker 4: parents has already.
Speaker 1: Begun at four. Yeah, like, surely that's too young.
Speaker 3: It is young, because if you compare her to her
Speaker 3: other friends who are still like.
Speaker 2: Hell, I'm a baby. She's so freaking smart.
Speaker 3: She's like a seven year old mentally, but emotionally she's
Speaker 3: only four.
Speaker 2: So she's acting out.
Speaker 4: And you forget the age because she's taller as well.
Speaker 4: I sometimes forget.
Speaker 2: She's six foot four.
Speaker 4: She's literally going to be taller than me probably in
Speaker 4: you once.
Speaker 2: And she's up to Laurence boobs.
Speaker 1: She is.
Speaker 4: She always says she's up to mums and Nana's boobsrums.
Speaker 1: Are a bit lower. She's shorter, but they're just a
Speaker 1: bit poors.
Speaker 4: There's just been a lot of moments recently where I
Speaker 4: just go, what have I done wrong?
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't blame yourself, what's happened?
Speaker 4: But we do, like, do you know just some of
Speaker 4: the things that she says can be really snappy, can
Speaker 4: be really.
Speaker 1: Rude, like, you know, she went to my mum, well,
Speaker 1: what do you know, you're old?
Speaker 4: Like actual hurtful things, hurtful things which I'm like, you
Speaker 4: don't say that to a grandparent.
Speaker 1: She went through it.
Speaker 4: Like last week there was a big thing at school
Speaker 4: where she was just disruptive, angry. She said some really
Speaker 4: hurtful things and we got called into the teacher's office.
Speaker 4: And you always feel like they're gonna think I'm a
Speaker 4: bad parent. They're judging me, they're judging my parents.
Speaker 3: Some of them are really nice, the teachers, like most
Speaker 3: of them are really lovely, but some of them you
Speaker 3: can tell that they are judging you.
Speaker 4: And they would because you know what, I walk into
Speaker 4: that school well wind, I'm just shoveled. Sometimes I forget,
Speaker 4: like I've gone to.
Speaker 2: Chuck her out of the car as you fly over
Speaker 2: a speed hume.
Speaker 4: I've slowed down to like twenty five as she flies
Speaker 4: outd I've forgotten the school bag, forgotten the drink bottle,
Speaker 4: all the normal stuff that busy mums sometimes we forget.
Speaker 1: And the teachers just deal with that, doing your best.
Speaker 2: But I just go.
Speaker 4: Why at four am I getting so much grief? Like
Speaker 4: surely four can be really difficult. And you know what
Speaker 4: Berger often says to me.
Speaker 1: Be the parent, Lauren, be the parent, because.
Speaker 4: I find myself already like she'll say something to me
Speaker 4: and I'll mock her or go back at her because
Speaker 4: I forget.
Speaker 2: She's four. I know, and it's so bad.
Speaker 3: I know, but I think with Sophia, you are six
Speaker 3: months pregnant and she's four and a half almost five.
Speaker 2: She's been the light of your life. She has been everything.
Speaker 3: That's why she's so smart, because you've put so much
Speaker 3: into her, Like a lot of single children are like that.
Speaker 2: And now she's.
Speaker 3: Probably going, oh, there's a baby in mum's timing. I'm
Speaker 3: not going to be number one anymore. I'll be sharing
Speaker 3: number one with another one.
Speaker 1: Already punched my belly and said that's for the baby.
Speaker 2: Oh what, this is normal as well.
Speaker 3: Remember when she says things like that she's only four,
Speaker 3: you gotta remember that she's.
Speaker 2: Only been on earth four years.
Speaker 1: I forget.
Speaker 3: She doesn't realize the things that she says are actually hurtful.
Speaker 3: But when you say the hurtful things back to her,
Speaker 3: that's probably not Yeah, teacher, lesson.
Speaker 1: And slam the door and go, well, I can slam
Speaker 1: my door.
Speaker 2: Too, oh shore you Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1: About fourteen fourteen and boys fourteen?
Speaker 3: Boy, yeah, fourteen is really I'm finding really tricky. He.
Speaker 2: I have an eleven year old that I would say
Speaker 2: is the best age.
Speaker 3: He is just fun and still mum, look at me
Speaker 3: as he's doing like parkour and climbing things and putting
Speaker 3: a skateboard in the pool.
Speaker 2: But it's always Mum, look at me, or Mum, can
Speaker 2: you do this with me? Or look at this? Mom?
Speaker 2: Like he needs me and I love that.
Speaker 1: And he loves the reassurance you give him same love.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, needs all the attention.
Speaker 3: And I will not take that for granted because when
Speaker 3: you get to fourteen, it is like a slow breakup
Speaker 3: with someone that you have loved, like your first love.
Speaker 3: And he it's like you're saying goodbye to the little
Speaker 3: version of them. And I don't know if you've seen
Speaker 3: the Instagram, it just pops up on my feet all
Speaker 3: the time of like this is what everyone else sees
Speaker 3: and it's them now, but this is what I see
Speaker 3: and it's them as a baby. And it's so true. Lauren,
Speaker 3: you've seen Austin. He is like six foot two. He
Speaker 3: looks like a man.
Speaker 1: He's only fourteen, and as he sounds like a man.
Speaker 3: Sounds like a man. And as he's walking down the hallway,
Speaker 3: I just see this little boy in his onesie, like learning.
Speaker 2: To walk and reaching out for my hat like he doesn't.
Speaker 2: They don't do that anymore.
Speaker 3: I think the hardest thing at fourteen for a boy
Speaker 3: is they You're not their world, not their world anymore.
Speaker 2: They have another world and that comes first.
Speaker 3: They want to be with their friends, and they want
Speaker 3: to be in their room.
Speaker 2: Physically and mentally.
Speaker 3: I feel like he is in another room and the
Speaker 3: three of us Alfie, my husband and I and our
Speaker 3: dog Peggy are in the other.
Speaker 2: Room and he's detaching, and it's.
Speaker 3: It hurts as a mum because it feels like you've
Speaker 3: always had this umbilical cord attached to this baby and
Speaker 3: they've always needed you, and then they don't.
Speaker 1: That's got a massive kick just then as you said that.
Speaker 2: A hi baby girl, a boy, hi baba hi.
Speaker 4: Oh oh you have it starts now, It starts now.
Speaker 1: That love starts now. Austin was in your belly. He's
Speaker 1: always going to come back to you. You're always going to.
Speaker 2: Be his do you know the most thing I've noticed
Speaker 2: is the silence.
Speaker 3: So you can you know, when you drive Sofia somewhere Alfie,
Speaker 3: they're talking the whole time, asking in billion questions, being inquisitive.
Speaker 3: And now you sit in a car with this man
Speaker 3: who is in his own head and he's just sitting
Speaker 3: there and it's the silence. And I know that I've
Speaker 3: spoken to other parents and that's a thing, like they
Speaker 3: just are in their own thing and it's because their
Speaker 3: brains are being rewired to rebuild.
Speaker 2: And to grow and learn and all this kind of stuff.
Speaker 3: And I love watching him grow and be, you know,
Speaker 3: the man that he's going to become.
Speaker 2: But I'm not integral in his life right now, and
Speaker 2: that hurts no.
Speaker 4: But you always are, You're integral. I think about it.
Speaker 4: You at fourteen for me, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, those years
Speaker 4: I didn't want to be at home. I was just
Speaker 4: discovering like going out and being able to have that
Speaker 4: little bit of free which you've allowed Austin. You know,
Speaker 4: we used to work, We used to walk to KFC
Speaker 4: at Mitch and by ourselves.
Speaker 2: That's where he was yesterday. Is like the hangout.
Speaker 4: It's the hangout and you get to order whatever you
Speaker 4: want to order, and you're with your friends and you will.
Speaker 2: Know so normal.
Speaker 3: And I don't want to take that from him. But
Speaker 3: it still doesn't make it easier going. I have to
Speaker 3: let I have to let him, I have to let
Speaker 3: him go. It's really hard.
Speaker 1: Have you said it to him? Have you ever had
Speaker 1: this chat with him?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Because but I don't want him to feel like he
Speaker 3: has to come and talk to me because I've said
Speaker 3: it to him.
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? I don't want him
Speaker 2: to feel like pressured, like be that needy mum, like
Speaker 2: I need you.
Speaker 4: This This is the difference between skip parents and like.
Speaker 1: WOG parents or the guilt, the guilt. Italians love guilt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they throw it on you don't throw it.
Speaker 1: They bathe us in guilt.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So and it still happens.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh you haven't called me.
Speaker 2: Oh I don't want to be I don't want to
Speaker 2: be that.
Speaker 1: You didn't do that. Oh you didn't bother to Oh?
Speaker 1: Oh you haven't you going to.
Speaker 2: Break that cycle that the constant feeling of guilt is about.
Speaker 1: I'm already doing that disappear. Oh you didn't call me?
Speaker 2: I mean you do great passes and the zignias. But
Speaker 2: stop with a girl.
Speaker 4: My mom, I don't want to come up tonight, She goes,
Speaker 4: but I'll make you prawns.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm miss okay.
Speaker 2: I've got some tips though, of one thing that I do.
Speaker 3: I'd love for you to reach out and tell us
Speaker 3: what you do with your fourteen year old boys. But
Speaker 3: I this sounds very Victoria Beckham of me because I
Speaker 3: sit down with Austin and I pay him five dollars
Speaker 3: and he massages my feet for twenty minutes, but we talk.
Speaker 2: The whole time, or I talk the whole time. He
Speaker 2: just goes, yeah, it's good, Yeah, yeah, that was good.
Speaker 1: Why does he massage your feet?
Speaker 3: That's so fair because I love it, and he's he
Speaker 3: wants five dollars.
Speaker 2: But it also means we sit there for.
Speaker 3: Twenty minutes, my phone's not there, and we talk and
Speaker 3: I ask him every single question I've always wanted to
Speaker 3: ask him because I'm looking. When Sophia's home, you're with
Speaker 3: her all the time. When you have a fourteen year old,
Speaker 3: they just want to go to their room and you
Speaker 3: feel like you're in the way.
Speaker 2: So to actually have one on one people do it
Speaker 2: in the car or go for a walk, but I
Speaker 2: do it where I sit, and he just why not?
Speaker 2: It sounds weir.
Speaker 1: You buy his love with love?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I bribe him. The best parenting is by bribing kids.
Speaker 1: To do more. Parenting tips head to Hailey Peers and today.
Speaker 2: Just bribe, That's all. But I would say that fourteen
Speaker 2: is the hardest.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think I'm ready for that, because even
Speaker 4: at four you start to feel the little pullaways. I
Speaker 4: know it sounds silly, but you know one, two they're
Speaker 4: a nappy, They need you the food. The three Sophia, Now,
Speaker 4: if she's thirsty, she gets the water, she can get
Speaker 4: something from the pantry to eat. She wants to dress herself.
Speaker 4: She's very independent. She wants to wear high heels and
Speaker 4: a fence.
Speaker 2: She'll be moving out in a couple of years.
Speaker 3: Literally, she'll be going on to Kentucky when when she's fifteen.
Speaker 1: No, but that starts to hurt.
Speaker 4: So just those little things, so I can only comprehend
Speaker 4: what you're going through.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 4: It's more so don't want to be around because Sofia
Speaker 4: and I sit in the car the whole way, we
Speaker 4: listened to songs, we talk and the rainbow.
Speaker 3: Don't wish that time away when they're talking to you
Speaker 3: and they want you and they say, Mummy, look at this.
Speaker 2: Just try your hardest to be there because it in
Speaker 2: a blink of an eye, it all just goes away.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 4: We want to talk about oversharing because I've never been
Speaker 4: an oversharer until I met you.
Speaker 2: Bullshit, hy that is such a lie.
Speaker 3: You would have always overshared. I was our producer is
Speaker 3: nodding right now? Now you had this weird I was priven, proper.
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry, but you would never prim and proper.
Speaker 4: Do you know what before we started, Ada Lady, I
Speaker 4: worked at the Lakinmia Foundation with Millie and she once
Speaker 4: walked in and I like took out my chicken filets
Speaker 4: from my bra and threw them against a wall as
Speaker 4: her boss, Like, I was just coming in to talk
Speaker 4: about this report.
Speaker 2: I've come there, so shut up with you not overshared?
Speaker 1: Okay, Well you just made me worse.
Speaker 4: Notever, I've always made it overshare. But you and I
Speaker 4: we can never ever break up. I know you know
Speaker 4: everything about me, and if I ever die, you need
Speaker 4: to get to my phone first.
Speaker 3: I found the same Oh my god, I just so
Speaker 3: you know, I've deleted our group chats. You need to
Speaker 3: delete them constantly because if someone ever found that we
Speaker 3: would the person that's still living.
Speaker 2: Would go to jail. Okay, just to keep deleting.
Speaker 1: Don't go, all right, ladies, we go.
Speaker 2: I found out why we overshare.
Speaker 3: Why so we're both and this is a whole other episode,
Speaker 3: but we're both undiagnosed ADHD. I mean I was diagnosed
Speaker 3: by Christy Swan, my friend Christy or Christy did.
Speaker 2: I say Christy.
Speaker 3: My friend since I was twenty.
Speaker 1: You guys were besties.
Speaker 2: You called it scon We actually are. We wear their.
Speaker 1: Forrichicken sandwich the other day. I'm now claiming her as
Speaker 1: my best you too.
Speaker 3: Anyway, she yeah, she told me that I have ADHD,
Speaker 3: so we do. But it's a trait of ADHD. So
Speaker 3: when you have ADHD, you feel like you want to
Speaker 3: connect with someone immediately, and you feel to do that,
Speaker 3: you have to overshare and tell them your life story.
Speaker 1: And there's no silences. I hate silences.
Speaker 3: So to feel silences, we will continue to talk and
Speaker 3: just stay rubbish out of our mouth and then we
Speaker 3: get in the car afterwards and we go.
Speaker 2: I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. Forty
Speaker 2: minutes right here, I just told you all my secrets
Speaker 2: that are really embarrassing.
Speaker 4: And anxiety wise. I peak, if I go out for
Speaker 4: breakfast with my girlfriends whatever, I sit in the car
Speaker 4: afterwards and I go, why would you say that?
Speaker 1: Why would you say that? That was too much?
Speaker 4: They're thinking now and talking about me and I shared
Speaker 4: too much about parenting. I shared too much about my
Speaker 4: love life, sex life, whatever.
Speaker 1: I get so stressed. But then a nice song comes
Speaker 1: on the radio and I might love this song, and then.
Speaker 2: Just turn it up and again, I'm like, you know
Speaker 2: it's ADHD.
Speaker 3: Can we just have a little baromedy here. So there's
Speaker 3: a small group of girls that I particularly overshare with,
Speaker 3: and you're one of them. Obviously we have We've said
Speaker 3: this on a previous podcast, but we have sent each
Speaker 3: other photos of.
Speaker 1: Pulling on the toilet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yep, yep, we've done that because we wanted to
Speaker 3: prove that we're both sick.
Speaker 1: I didn't want you to think I was bludging work.
Speaker 2: But I also didn't I wasn't grossed out by it.
Speaker 4: Really, we literally we know we've got our periods. We
Speaker 4: know when we're banging everything about each other.
Speaker 3: One of my other besties, she will send me photos
Speaker 3: of This is when I know that I love someone.
Speaker 3: She sent me a photo of just like blood splattered
Speaker 3: all over like tiles, and then she said she'd flung
Speaker 3: out her period. This is a lady unfiltered, by the way,
Speaker 3: so don't get angry at us because it is unfiltered,
Speaker 3: flung out her period, a period, flung out her tampon
Speaker 3: at work and all the blood just went. She in
Speaker 3: that moment, she thought, I need to take a photo
Speaker 3: of this and said this to Pearson because she's gonna
Speaker 3: love this.
Speaker 4: But I love that the grosser it is, I like
Speaker 4: to get a reaction from you, like I feel like
Speaker 4: I've made it. Yes, So then I'll send you that photo.
Speaker 3: Yeah, whatever it is, I think it brings people together.
Speaker 3: I always feel so much better when I tell someone
Speaker 3: everything single thing about my life, and I want them
Speaker 3: to do the same to me.
Speaker 4: But also you and I we have been through grief,
Speaker 4: lots of grief in our life, no grief, and people,
Speaker 4: I think because of that, we have let our guards
Speaker 4: down a lot more and a lot of people come
Speaker 4: up to us and feel like they can share stuff
Speaker 4: with us, good, bad, ugly as well, so it's not
Speaker 4: just us over sharing. I've stood in the supermarket before
Speaker 4: cried with a random and then laugh like that that's
Speaker 4: what we do. But I feel like I love that though.
Speaker 4: If someone can trust you enough to tell you some deep,
Speaker 4: dark secret, then you must be doing something right.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I really love that, you know what I mean. I
Speaker 1: don't want to just sit down and go, oh, Haley,
Speaker 1: how ch we can surface kids.
Speaker 3: I want to tell you that I have really bad
Speaker 3: period pain, but it feels like I'm constipated at the
Speaker 3: same time.
Speaker 2: I want to tell you all of that.
Speaker 4: I can actually sometimes feel my egg dropping as I
Speaker 4: get my period.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that, and you feel on one side one over
Speaker 2: it goes down.
Speaker 4: One over it. That's why I knew I was pregnant
Speaker 4: because it felt different last time I had my period.
Speaker 2: Yes, you feel it dropping.
Speaker 3: Okay, So if you are an overshare like us, and
Speaker 3: you kind of want to like not kind of like,
Speaker 3: because you know you know what that anxiety afterwards of
Speaker 3: oversharing to the wrong person and then going, oh, I
Speaker 3: wish I didn't say that.
Speaker 2: I hate myself. I hate myself. I say that too much. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I've actually looked up on chat gept. Let me just
Speaker 2: get my phone up.
Speaker 3: So Chad, as you call it, Chad about ways to
Speaker 3: stop oversharing. And also the reason as well, I think
Speaker 3: a lot of people overshare now is because social media.
Speaker 2: There's we're so used to seeing everything online.
Speaker 4: I sometimes people still like they'll have twenty stories up
Speaker 4: in a day of their general life, and I'm like, no, one,
Speaker 4: don't you care a fuck what you're eating to breakfast,
Speaker 4: the fact that you're going for a run.
Speaker 3: I don't care that you're at the gym. I don't
Speaker 3: care are sharing that with them?
Speaker 1: Unless you drop a weight on your toe, I don't
Speaker 1: want to see it.
Speaker 3: You know, if only we could reply to these people,
Speaker 3: but instead I don't care.
Speaker 2: Good job, babes.
Speaker 3: There's some great eggs double like okay, So here's how
Speaker 3: to stop you over sharing.
Speaker 2: We're going to think about this when we're in the moment.
Speaker 3: So there's Chad says, you install the three second pause,
Speaker 3: so you go, do I feel safe with this person?
Speaker 2: Will I regret this afterwards?
Speaker 3: So just give yourself three seconds, which in a conversation
Speaker 3: with someone with ADHD.
Speaker 1: Is a long three seconds is like three years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would have shared thirteen stories in those three seconds.
Speaker 1: I have not finished any of them.
Speaker 3: All, right, share in layers, so not the full Netflix series.
Speaker 3: You just go, like episode one, your meeting with them
Speaker 3: for the first time, just a little bit, just a
Speaker 3: light surface, and then you gauge where they're at.
Speaker 1: And the next that I go to shrek Ogurs.
Speaker 3: Have layers, onions have layers. Notice your triggers, so this
Speaker 3: is a good one. So if you're feeling nervous, that's
Speaker 3: probably why I overshare.
Speaker 2: If I'm a bit nervous, I just don't stop talking. Tired.
Speaker 2: If you've had too much time, I'm.
Speaker 4: Getting told to sit up because I've started to get
Speaker 4: really comfortable. Can you see all my tummies?
Speaker 2: Can you see you have one tummy?
Speaker 1: You see my seven chins? This a fluttering angle.
Speaker 3: But also one thing that we are guilty of is
Speaker 3: we need to swap the reveal for relate. So instead
Speaker 3: of going, here's my entire trauma story, you go, oh,
Speaker 3: I understand I've been through something similar, and you wait
Speaker 3: for them to ask you, rather than us jumping in
Speaker 3: and going.
Speaker 2: Oh, I have story of that. That's just what we
Speaker 2: do that's what we're doing.
Speaker 1: I thought that was relatable.
Speaker 2: No, I know, but wait, so can be also narcissistic.
Speaker 1: You and I are massive narcissists.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be.
Speaker 1: I don't think we can change.
Speaker 2: I don't want that.
Speaker 1: I don't want that.
Speaker 3: Please, if I do that to you, it's only because
Speaker 3: I'm trying to make you feel normal.
Speaker 1: And I think with you're not actually an I was
Speaker 1: just joking.
Speaker 3: I know this.
Speaker 2: When you go, you are you are?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 1: What's the thing do you say? Triggering? Watch the trigger again?
Speaker 2: What are you talking about? The three things I've just
Speaker 2: spoken about it again? What's your trigger? Give it three seconds? Yes,
Speaker 2: and I've already forgotten the food.
Speaker 1: Wait for them to bring it up.
Speaker 3: Yes, And don't give them your full story straight away,
Speaker 3: like your whole trauma history, just a little bit.
Speaker 2: And if they ask questions, that's good.
Speaker 1: So you want us to do like a radio break
Speaker 1: where we just hook someone? Do you know what it is?
Speaker 2: I think?
Speaker 3: I think with our career, if I meet a new person,
Speaker 3: I want them to feel immediately that I'm just a
Speaker 3: normal person.
Speaker 2: That's not like because we're on the TV.
Speaker 3: I don't want people think we're up ourselves or I
Speaker 3: want them to think that I'm just gross?
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 4: Oh? They do.
Speaker 2: But I hope that and I hope that I get
Speaker 2: that when I meet people that they feel, oh.
Speaker 1: She's just normal. I know, I know what you mean.
Speaker 4: The biggest compliment anyone could ever say to us is
Speaker 4: you're just the same as you are on TV as
Speaker 4: you are in real life.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then they often say, wow, the camera really does
Speaker 1: add turn bounds.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it really does.
Speaker 1: It really does you look way better in real life?
Speaker 1: I always get that better look younger.
Speaker 2: I think that I look foul on.
Speaker 4: Maybe we need the cameraman to buy that seventies pawn lens.
Speaker 4: You kind of just put a lens eline over the
Speaker 4: top of the lens.
Speaker 1: Can we buy that? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Can we happen put that on the list? Thanks? Okay.
Speaker 1: So I'm sitting here on my couch right now, and
Speaker 1: I'm I've got my.
Speaker 4: Hand on my belly, and I know that you hate
Speaker 4: seeing people put their hands.
Speaker 1: On their bellies and rub their tummies.
Speaker 4: And I just realized I've been sitting here going, oh,
Speaker 4: she's kicking and I'm doing this, and that is.
Speaker 3: Your biggest pet no, no, no, no, no, yeah, okay,
Speaker 3: I I have not feeling and I'm not hicked by
Speaker 3: this at all.
Speaker 1: I've got a pillow in front of me to boss me.
Speaker 3: The thing I find iky is when people in like
Speaker 3: they're just like twelve weeks pregnant or five weeks pregnant, whatever,
Speaker 3: and they're standing posing for photos with a tummy that's
Speaker 3: not there. But in every photo they pose the same
Speaker 3: kind of like sad smile and like they're holding their
Speaker 3: fanny bone and under their ribs, like you have no
Speaker 3: tummy there.
Speaker 2: That's what irks me.
Speaker 1: You literally look like you just had a bowler past.
Speaker 2: No, you're holding like what would be a gunt holding
Speaker 2: my guns. Kick. That's so different. She's kicking.
Speaker 4: I think she's actually really getting used to your voice.
Speaker 4: Like I feel like she's going to come out and
Speaker 4: think your dad. So I'm trying to get Sofia and
Speaker 4: Burger to talk to her more.
Speaker 2: They can hear at this age, can't they.
Speaker 3: They. I feel like that's why Sofia and I have
Speaker 3: such a nice bond, because I've always been there when
Speaker 3: she was talking to you, like we were filming and
Speaker 3: you were, you know, seven eight nine, months pregnant.
Speaker 1: I know, do you know what?
Speaker 4: And I still remember that first like I remember I
Speaker 4: was seven weeks pregnant and only you knew out of anyone.
Speaker 1: And I remember we were in the.
Speaker 4: Limestone Coast walking into a cafe and I went, Hayley,
Speaker 4: this is the first time baby's going to be on TV.
Speaker 4: And it's actually such an exciting little time like I
Speaker 4: grew up. Like we started at a lady when Alfie,
Speaker 4: your little boy was eight weeks old.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it was the can I share one little
Speaker 2: thing that happened? When we're in Port Lincoln.
Speaker 3: So we go all over South Australia to film my
Speaker 3: TV show. Lauren would have been seven months pregnant.
Speaker 2: I reckon at the.
Speaker 1: Time, and I shouldn't have been filming.
Speaker 2: I was going out to l seven months. It's fine.
Speaker 2: It's like when people finished early on maternityly, mate, you've
Speaker 2: got so long.
Speaker 1: Mate, I'll finish at nine months. Don't worry.
Speaker 4: I'll have a few hanging out going. We'll just finish
Speaker 4: this podcast break and then I'll go to ashvillde.
Speaker 3: You'll finish at midday and you'll have the baby by
Speaker 3: four o'clock that afternoon. Okay, so we're staying at this
Speaker 3: place and we're about to go out and go with
Speaker 3: the Oysters and get oysters at the Oysters HQ. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And I was getting ready to film and you called
Speaker 3: me into the bathroom.
Speaker 2: He come here, and I'm like, oh my.
Speaker 3: Gosh, baby was at my dad because it was primal.
Speaker 3: It was like a full scream and I walked into
Speaker 3: the bathroom.
Speaker 1: Oh, I know, I know, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: I don't care.
Speaker 4: I was on all fours, naked, all fours, like a
Speaker 4: horse that was about to give earth.
Speaker 3: And she was like, I don't know what's happening, but
Speaker 3: I think there's an s No, I need to get
Speaker 3: this out of me. Something's happening. And you couldn't go
Speaker 3: to the toilet.
Speaker 2: No, first time in your life. You've been constipated.
Speaker 1: But I thought I was going into labor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, then I just needed to shiit.
Speaker 3: What happened is I was trying to teach you about
Speaker 3: when there's like a brick there and you've got to
Speaker 3: like massage your peroneum area.
Speaker 2: To make it like come out of that hole.
Speaker 3: But then I went filming and I came back and
Speaker 3: you were fine because you were on the phone to
Speaker 3: your mom, and your mom did like an EXORCISTM with
Speaker 3: you and I love.
Speaker 1: My mom's hippie. She was like channeling this person and
Speaker 1: this person we're doing this. I'm like, Mom, it's coming.
Speaker 1: You know what you told me a story you were like,
Speaker 1: I was like twenty in Thailand with Jimmy and I
Speaker 1: had I had.
Speaker 2: Because she hadn't been to the toilet in nine days. Oh,
Speaker 2: I thought I was an overshriff. I probably wouldn't have
Speaker 2: shared that story. It's all right.
Speaker 4: I thought I was going into labor, and I in
Speaker 4: my head, I was like, we're in Port Lincoln, I'm
Speaker 4: gonna have to get airlifted.
Speaker 1: I'm going to have the baby and the Port Lincoln hospital.
Speaker 2: You'll do anything, You'll do any device to get that
Speaker 2: out of you. Yeah, so don't judge me.
Speaker 1: I've never been concentrated like that.
Speaker 2: There was a spoon, and it was a spoon.
Speaker 1: What did you eaten?
Speaker 2: What did you eat? What did you eaten? Too much? Lemongrass?
Speaker 2: All right, we have coming a lot today.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of oversharing, and please, just so you know,
Speaker 3: we know that it's unfiltered.
Speaker 2: You need to understand that this is not the ad
Speaker 2: Lady that you see on adel Lady. This is the
Speaker 2: real US.
Speaker 4: You see a polished version, slightly polished. I mean we
Speaker 4: could ever really be fully polished. Never, No, I mean
Speaker 4: hair and makeup could be better, yeah, every time. But
Speaker 4: that's what you see there.
Speaker 1: And this my mom's gonna call me when she listens
Speaker 1: to the going why would you talk about.
Speaker 2: The ex is that.
Speaker 3: My Mom's already said, how do I listen to a
Speaker 3: podcast on Spotify? And I'm like, I'm not even going
Speaker 3: to show you how.
Speaker 1: Nah, because you don't need to listen to parents don't
Speaker 1: need to know that shit. My dad will be like,
Speaker 1: why would you shave that?
Speaker 4: He does? Why?
Speaker 1: I love Wayne, I love my parents.
Speaker 2: Okay, anyway on that, We'll see you next week, See
Speaker 2: you next week.
Speaker 1: Love you guys, Love h